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Dave The Barbarian: Red Sweater Of Courage/Dog Of The Titans
Reviewed: 09/27/2014
Dave Being A Dog For Whatever Hand He Likes Biting On!
Well; the bridge shall soon be crossed! The moment I hated for so long is about to happen in this rant of Dave The Barbarian as Dave's cowardice has hit rock bottom; so Dave decides to wear a sweater that gives him courage. However; Dave's courage turns him stupid as he must face the wrath of Chuckles, Malsquando and Quosmir together as a tag team. YAY! Then Dave turns to irony of ironies as he becomes a puppy himself after his family refuses to give him any respect for the non-rigid gender role that he has put himself into. So let's rant on shall we...?!
Red Sweater Of Courage is written and story edited by Brian Palermo. Dog Of The Titans is written and story edited by Evan Gore and Heather Lombard. Animation is done by SOB Animation Group Limited.
Opening Moment #1: Crumble castle shot of the day: Chuckles The Silly Piggy in paper art form. Okay.
Red Sweater of Courage: We begin this one inside Udrogoth as there is destruction, chaos and terror caused by Chuckles The Silly Piggy pigging a robot self portrait of himself. Oh; his narly shaped ears can shoot fire too! Earthquake splash onto a house! Yeah; the denizens at least bailed out this time. More butt splashes on another stone hut with a straw roof; which reveals Dave saying kajabbers. Chuckles wants him to fear him; and with that fiendish looking robot, it would be enough to make me submit. Chuckle name for this robot is Scuttlebot; which is amusing. Dave yells that he has to hide; and then we get the moment I was talking about being serious "Go away" heat for me. Now; there are about 80 places to hide in Udrogoth and I can understand Dave being a coward since he is facing a robot that can kill him with it's ass. So what hiding place does Dave pick? He chooses to find an out of nowhere puppy and hide behind it! At this point of the show; the show was not going to be renewed, so my offense to this is unjustified in several different ways. However; I should note that when I first watched this show in any serious way when it was released; this was one of the first episodes I watched, and the moment this happened I changed channels and never saw this show again until now. This was serious "go away" heat for me because he HID BEHIND A F'N PUPPY! He is much bigger than the puppy; so it was stupid to begin with. Plus; he thinks that Chuckles would never harm a puppy, when Chuckles was shown in a later episode being mean to cute bunnies; who was cutier than this puppy. If you have a puppy as a pet; this should offend you because Dave is using it as a "human" shield which is like using a child or a dead person as a shield to bash someone. It is really, really distasteful, and it killed Dave's heat as a babyface. Dave hiding behind a monkey wasn't as bad because he was really hiding behind the monkey warmer tub; which just happened to have a monkey.
Looking back at this; at least both bad taste spots did set up the storyline in the end. However; in the case of the puppy, it's one thing to have Dave as a coward (it is very possible to have him be a coward and come off as funny), but there is a limit on how much you can go without turning off the audience; and once even kids start hating you, your show is screwed. Hiding behind a puppy is a surefire way of making the audience hate your guts and if that is what you intended, then more power to the writers. It's bad writing otherwise. Worse; Chuckles doesn't fall for it at all, so it made him look like a babyface! So Candy and Fang run in as Fang has a bucket of green slime; and she proclaims that it's time to slop the hog. Who does she think she is; a Godwin? Chuckles of course blows her off and calls her a monkey yet again to piss her off. Fang dumps green slime onto the gears as this causes the robot to crumble and the head to fly into the sky like a rocket into space. For all the hate I have for Dave hiding behind a puppy; there was a great moment in this: Chuckles pulls the string for the ejection seat; and of course the wrong seat ejects; leading Chuckles to say that he hopes no one saw this. His hopes and dreams are crushed! The head crashes on the moon and bumps about three times. This causes Chuckles to fly out of the head; and take a half dozen MAN-SIZED bumps on the moon surface. That is great in itself; but everytime he bumps, we hear the squeaky toy sound every single time. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love Chuckles as he proclaims that he officially hates the monkey; and somehow Fang is heard yelling that she is not a monkey. THEN STOP DOING MONKEY SPOTS~! I should note that if we were to hear Fang from the moon; the dB level would be so high that every animal on earth would be dead due to the sound stressing out their organs. Including Fang herself! Of course; since this is a cartoon, everyone will be all right as usual. Then the parachute chair squashes Chuckles like Alexander The Grape. Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck! Another piggy organ has been crushed! This was great!
Sadly; the next scene has us return to inside the village as everyone is pissed off at Dave as Fang is extremely direct about Dave's stupidity. Let me translate all this for you in "Work To Shoot" terms: THANKS TO YOU; THIS SHOW HAS BEEN CANCELLED~! Dave admits to endangering the puppy too; just to really make me want to punch this piece of crap heel (he's not even a good heel for goodness sakes!); while petting it. The puppy realizes that this is bullsh*t and bites Dave's hand, which Dave promptly no-sells. Dave admits that he's a coward as Candy points out that he is a name that is the very first time I have heard of such a thing; so it makes no sense. Dave proclaims that he'll stop being a coward and be known as Dave The Brave; which Fang simply tells him that he has a spider on his neck; and Dave instantly screams and acts like a coward. So the narrator tells us that Dave seeks the wisest man in Udrogoth. So we logically head to inside the castle as Oswidge is eating a blueberry pie...Oh wait; let me rephrase that: Oswidge is slobbering over a blueberry pie like a messy child who fingerpaints. Oswidge then spits out blueberry juice in the process; as the narrator finally realizes how stupid this is and tries to cover up. So Oswidge snaps his fingers (Dave, Candy and Fang are at the dining room table too) as he brings out his magic book out of nowhere. So he then reads it; which has to be his first time in the series. Oswidge tells us that courage from magic powers can be gained by jumping off the mountain of courage, taking a bath in the acid of courage, or wearing the red sweater of courage. You can guess which two feats Dave refuses to do and move on with your life without missing anything. Dave asks about the sweater being purple; which Fang blows him off for. So Oswidge goes to page 492; and the sweater magically appears out of the page. Nothing like not earning a sweater through feats of actual courage during the journey to get him over. Oh; who cares anymore?! So Dave grabs the sweater and cuts a long ass promo about being changed to a couragous barbarian from this day on. Whatever; put the sweater on, no one cares anymore.
Okay; what is wrong with Lula's voice here? It sounds like Tress MacNeillie's in a different voice. She calls him a blockhead; thus proving she is the poor person's Lucy Van Pelt. So Dave puts on the sweater and he turns from cowardly asshole to cocky asshole. In other words; a poor man's Asshole Bumblelion. So they do a joke in which Fang tries to get a word in; but Dave screws with her mind by laughing badly. This goes on for a long ass whomping time; until Fang asks Dave if he wants to go do toxic manliness stuff like kicking monsters asses. Dave says yes without question and we hit the montage with Dave facing a green dragon with Fang biting it's tail. Dave grabs him by the mouth and PUTS OUT THE DRAGON~! This has to be a rib on Steggmutt in Just Us Justice Ducks; there's no other rational explaination. Then we head to what looks like Irmapoltz's castle of doom as Fang and Dave are bashing the side of the castle with whole trees. I think this is the one and only time Dave has willfully destroyed people's properties with impunity. There is some magician in the castle window blowing them off. Good for you sir! So then they start criticizing a woman for what she wears. Are you serious Disney? Thankfully; the woman is a firebreather as she breathes fire into Dave and Fang for that round of bigotry. Back to Udrogoth Castle as Dave is eating dragon ribs in the dining room while everyone praises him for being a dragon slaying scoiopath. Why doesn't this surprise me? So Lula has a dragon scale scabber (and her voice back); Oswidge has a green dragon horn viking helmet and Candy has a dragon scale belt. Fappy now has a scaleless dragon on a leash. That's horrifying. So what ribs was Dave eating? Dragon is not amused; neither am I. Dave wants more peril and everyone is stunned because now as the narrator tells us that Dave has gone from cocky asshole to cocky and stupid asshole as he knocks on the door and out comes Malsquando and is tieable beard of doom which Dave cuts off with scissors and runs off. Mals swears revenge and turns babyface.
Dave then goes into Quosmir's lair breaking down another wall; and steals Quos' blanket. He also wipes it under his armpits and mocks him. Dave bails and of course Quos has no idea with the word for revenge is. Then we head to Chuckle's castle as there is no stormy weather present; so I assume that Dave has taken over the castle. So a UFO arrives and Chuckles walks out of the UFO as some yellow aliens wave at him. Chuckles even apologizes for vomitting on the warp drive. He waves back at the yellow aliens; and this turns him babyface. So he turns around and Dave appears out of nowhere with white heart shaped boxers. Chuckles puts them on and then Dave gives him a wedgie just to be rude of course. Chuckles curses him as Dave leaves; and he wants revenge. So we head to the gates of Udrogoth as Chuckles uses the amulet to destroy the gate door as the narrator tells us that Dave is basically about to reap what he has sown. Mals appears out of nowhere and has problems realizing where Chuckles is because he has Colonel Spigot syndrome. They actually exchange pleasure thoughts. You know TNA sucks when even a Disney Channel cartoon can make heels not hate each other. Continuity Error: Malsquando's beard has grown back to normal. Quosmir appears out of nowhere; and the heels are ready to kill him; but then realize that he is a friend, and they exchange pleasure thoughts again. So Chuckles wants to team together to kill Dave as much as Quosmir wants to play mini-golf. So they hold hands and they want revenge. Chuckles laughs as only he can and both heels put the laugh over as the best in the business. For once; I agree. Sorry Don Karnage and Lezard Valeth, Chuckles is #1 in terms of laughing. So we scene change to inside the village as the three heels terrorize Udrogoth with their amulets and other such magical arts. Denizens bail while buildings get destroyed. Chuckles laughs it up some more. Mals uses anvils, rocks and dinosaurs to crush houses. Quos sets a water tower on fire with his flaming mucus, natch.
Then Bogmelon walks out of some building and asks if she can help him. Quos is about to say that he wants to kill Dave; but forgets the name anyway. Bogmelon bails and returns giving Bogmelon, a squid. Quos cuddles it and the squid blows him off for attacking his brain. Yeah; let's return to the front of the castle as Candy is yelling at Dave of course. Dave is continuing to be an asshole because he arranged all this just to get the heels together so he can have danger and kill everyone. Dave runs in as Candy panics because 3-on-1 advantage heels is a losing proposition. Fang blows it off; and Dave gets thrown onto his belly in front of them. Yip; it's The Idol Rich all over again with Colonel Spigot and his goons against Baloo; with Baloo losing of course. At least Dave is doing a better job selling injuries than Baloo is; so points for Dave here. Oswidge pretty much points out that Dave saves the day because he does something smart instead of this Dave who has no sense of fear and thus no sense of getting out of a situation that he is outmatched. Fang finally gets it as Oswidge states that they must destroy the red sweater of courage. Candy proclaims that she'll handle this since she is an expert at knitting. So it was Candy who taught Dave how to knit? And they are suddenly surprised that Dave hates being a thugish barbarian and wants to moonlight as a barber while being a libraian? Positive enabling is still enabling you know. So Dave runs in so slowly; that Candy manages to grab a thread of yarn from the red sweater and pulls it it; causing the sweater to completely unravel. All three heels are enjoying this and the squid is now Quos friend. Awww! My heart melted. Dave finally stops; realizes that he's screwed in eye blinking sounds, and runs stage right like a coward. That's the second greatest thing Candy has ever done in this series. So Dave runs and hides in a blue pot as the three heels decide to split up to cover more ground and find him, so they can destroy him good. The heels all bail as the family runs in; while Dave pops from the pot. Fang wants Dave to come up with something smart; and Dave is panicky as hell; until he gets inspired: Make them turn on each other!
Ummm; yeah. So he proclaims that he is going to beat them with paper-mache masks which we get an entire montage showing the masks being made. Fang wears the Chuckles mask, Candy gets Quos' mask and Dave has Malsquando's mask; which makes no sense at all. Fang makes sense; but Dave should have Quos mask and Candy should have Mals' mask because that would be more convincing. However; it really means nothing in the long run as Dave whispers the plan of divide and conquering the heels. So we cut to Chuckles looking for Dave; and out comes...Oswidge in Mals' mask. Wait; what?! I thought Dave was going to be Mals. Oswidge insults Chuckles and leaves; and apparently, the word cute is similar to the trigger word calling Don Karnage crazy. So Chuckles runs after him and we cut to Fang putting on the Chuckles mask and insulting Quosmir with an evil laugh and his combover. Fang bails; Quos is pissed and he follows her stage left. So then Candy arrives in Quos mask; and this should have tipped off Chuckles and Quos that it's not the real heels insulting them because Quos is the biggest guy on the heel side. DUMB! Candy tells him that he smells bad and then bails. Memo to Mals: When you were cutting that promo; she was standing there the whole time. Screw the promo; get HIM! Or Her! Or it! Of course; the real reason why Dave is doing absolutely nothing is because he is wearing a cat mask meowing; because he likes doing it. Okay; if you are going to have him hide behind a puppy; then have him wear a puppy mask then! So then we head back to the town square as the heels turn on each other and yell like TNA wrestlers for a while. They bring out their weapons and they kill each other off-screen like total morons; and then flop onto each other; squashing each other. Dave wipes his hand clean of responsibility for this stupidity as the family admits that they are better off with him as a wimp; as Dave is relieved of this. Fang then claims that there is a spider on his neck and of course he falls for it. Then Fang corrects herself and it's a lint ball; which Dave screams and panics again. The squid brings out his luggage and tells the family to tell Quos that he is moving in with his mother; which is the smartest decision that squid has ever made. That ends the episode at 10:26. This episode wasn't good or anything; but it wasn't horrible outside of a few logic breaks and Dave burying the show for good at the beginning. I'm much more offended that they made Chuckles a glazed ham in his first appearance than Dave hiding behind a puppy nearing the end of it's run. The rest was fine; so ** 1/2 (50%). And speaking of puppies...
Dog Of The Titans: We begin this one in the dining room with Dave doing something. The narrator tells us that this is the hardest thing Dave has ever done in his life; which is to sew up Candy's clothes while Candy is wearing them. Even more so: Candy is talking...and talking...and talking...and talking...for a long ass whomping time. Flappy slams his bowl on the counter and Dave is dealing with teen angst and finds a can of dragon chow. He pours the contents into the bowl and Flappy is happy. Fang yells at Dave; and it's clear where this episode is going: Dave is being disrespected because he does all the work. Fang has a beehive on her head which Dave removes. Memo to Brad Buttowski: Never whack beehives. This is what will happen to you if you do. She's allergic to bees and Oswidge is allergic to minor thumb injuries. Dave kisses it and it heals instantly. Everyone then bails without saying thank you to Dave; and Dave is screaming for his needs. He then cuts a ranting and raving promo about not getting any apprecation in this family, and asks if this is too hard to ask. Lula says yes as Dave then asks what he should do. Lula suggests moping to a pop song; and we hit the montage of Dave singing and moping around in the rain while a parody of the song One is being played. I find this parody laughable since this is not a parody; this is really true. He drowns in a puddle; a squid attaches to his face, and then they end it with the title, band, director and record company in complete parody. So MTV was invented in the Dark Ages. Why doesn't that surprise me? Circle fade out and the song is called "Three Hundred Pounds Of Lonely" from the Backstreet Minstrials. We return with Dave walking in the forest. He walks into Titan Meadows and someone's house which reminds me of Giant World from Super Mario Brothers 3. And it's populated by giants including what Zeus from Hercules would look like if he was drawn in the Nickelodeon style. Dave says kajabbers and in comes her daughter dressed in pink with purple bows and yellow curled up hair; calling Dave a puppy. Now THAT's ironic! She picks him up and cuddles her. She's a lot less annoying than Elmyra. Wow.
Dave sells pain; but then sells it like it's soothing and then falls asleep. This causes Lula to blow him off because barbarians do not get sleepy. So barbarian are immune to sleep? That's unpossible! Zeus' daughter asks if she can keep him (please say yes! Please say yes!) as the daughter's name is Phoebe. Zeus isn't so sure about this; so Phoebe pleads for it. Phoebe manages to get approval by promising daddy that he won't sit on the sofa; in which Zeus claims that if he puts on paw on the sofa, he is gone. If you cannot guess the finish right now; you have no business reading this rant. So we hit the montage as Dave is having tea with Phoebe and it just occured to me that this is how I would envision Kit Cloudkicker having a tea party with Webby Vanderquack; only it would turn into a conversation about Molly, life in the 1930's and other compelling stuff like that. So we see Dave have an Oero cookie stuffed in his mouth; then it's walking on the front lawn, then Dave wears sweaters that Mabel of Gravity Falls would look at and say: "You call those absurd narrator?". Dave is now called something something Figglebottom. It doesn't really matter; except that Lula is gravely offended by it and demands that Lula give her a piece of his mind. Why?! Some sage advice to Lula: Never say to Dave that he doesn't have much of a mind to spare, because people usually get insulted when that happens. Evidence #1: Dave acts all like he is going to give Phoebe a piece of his mind; and then turns around and says: I love you. Awwww! My heart melted. I love it when Lula is told where to stick her attitude without actually having to tell her where to stick it. Lula is very insecure you see. Dave kisses Phoebe on the cheek and Lula proclaims that she is going to vomit; which she proceeds to not do. TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM WITH MONTAGE ensues with more Dave acting like a dog and Phoebe being nice to him and all that stuff. I love this episode now! 300 pounds of happy with purple flowers as a tomb indeed! Cue wink to the hard camera from Dave and then we head to Udrogoth castle and this family is still not caring about Dave's presence at this point.
Heck; Fang has still not learn her lesson to not whack beehives around either. Damn; even Brad figured this out in Dad's Car! Oswidge is the only one who notices something is missing and he brings out his wand to do a Metroid Prime/Metal Gear lookout spot; because, he has to depend on magic just to see that Dave is gone. This is supposed to be funny; but it really is not. Yes; I have been spelling Fappy's name Flappy all this time simply because, he is basically a prototype for Flappy Bird anyway. Oswidge finally notices Dave after wasting about thirty seconds acting like a useless load with no brain; and panics. Candy stops talking and turns around and screams that he vanished into thin air. Oswidge then claims that he hasn't seen Dave in seven days; so yes, Candy was talking in the dining room for seven straight days. I wondered why Candy has become the second worst character in the series (next to Lula); and I get my answer everytime. Oswidge then brings out the crystal ball and does magic asking what of Dave. Dave is shown in the crystal ball wearing the sweater of doom and running with Phoebe as the family panics because Phoebe managed to get him house trained. Yes; Dave cooks, cleans, knits and does crafts; but cannot use the bathroom and not make messes? That's a felonous insult in my book! So they realize that he is in Titan Meadows; and of course we scene change to them looking for it even though it is in Udrogoth. This is the defintion of wasting time in order to try to make kids laugh. It failed. So they notice Phoebe walking Dave with the sweater on; which causes them to run in and threaten violence on Phoebe. Phoebe proclaims that Oswidge talks funny. No he does not, Phoebe, he's a useless load. Dave still agrees with her though as he blows them off for defaming Phoebe and being ungrateful jackasses. Which is all true. Dave wants to take his leave home to his owner; as Dave and Phoebe walk stage left. The funniest thing about this is: Lula is the one blowing them off as well despite the fact that in an earlier scene, she was threatening to vomit at Dave being the puppy to Phoebe. What a hypocritical prick this Lula is?!
So Candy of course ponders this over and she doesn't give a damn. I hate teen apathy a lot more than teen angst simply because teen angst is in fact amusing when booked in small enough doses. So Oswidge has a Krackpotkin plan for this and so does Fang and Fang's plan involves crushing and ardvarks. Oswidge's plan gets green lighted in case you were wondering. So we head to the front door of Zeus's house as Oswidge plays door to door salesman on Zeus. As amusing as it sounds. Earth to Oswidge: Learn thee a British accent if you want to channel Amazing Discoveries. So basically; the guise of this is: Oswidge wants to do a competition where their pet will square off against Dave and if Zeus wins; he can make everyone his slaves. Considering that the only pet in the show is Fappy; they are going to push the reset button at the end of this. Or maybe not. Apparently; the wooden block painted to look like fish makes Zeus channel Milo from Fish Hooks. I swear that Noah Z. Jones watched this episode; got hungover on something and this was his idea for a new series on Disney Channel. If so; okay. It's not the silliest way to come up with an idea. So the "babyfaces" (because only Dave, and the Titans are babyfaces in this episodes now. Lula is a hypocritical tweener in this.) walk out and Fang proclaims that there is no way Fappy can win because Dave will squash him easily. This is the same Fappy that burns Dave's head into a burnt match in nearly every episode of this series. So Oswidge decides that someone will take his place (BOO! HISS!) and they stare at Fang. Fang of course has no clue that she is going to be Dave's opposition because Dave cannot beat Fang apparently. Like I'm going to take this seriously. Yes folks; Fang is on a leash and is going to be the family's sub pet for this competition. Might as well call her a pet monkey while we are at it too. Before you say that Fang deserves this for insulting Fappy; remember this: in the storyline, Fappy has a single digit IQ. So Fang is accurately describing Fappy's chances of outsmarting Dave.
So the competition begins as the judge looks like something out of the Simpsons mixed with Greek mythos and a megaphone. They are on the podium with the families with their pets. Fang is introduced as weighing 25 pounds. This is where you lie. She looks at least 60-70 pounds. If she was 25 pounds; she would be a three year old. I'm pretty sure she's older than that. And the judge calls her a monkey of course because he's a bigot like all gods are. Fang is pissed off more than usual; and it's much harder to take this seriously now that she is on a leash. So we begin the race as the judge explains the rules of engagement for this competition. Trial #1: a footrace which Fang mocks Dave. I can see why; even if the judge has underweighed her by at least 40-50 pounds; she should still have the speed advantage right? Except; this competition is based on different stuff, so Fang has to perform arts instead. Dave's smiling at the hard camera is absolutely priceless here. You couldn't all just apologize and say thank you for all the work you have done to Dave? I mean; even if he never forgives you, even if you make the same mistake again in the future, at least you are going to make an effort to actually show some sort of empathy to him. Well; Oswidge and to a lesser extent Fang would. Fappy is too dumb to live and Candy needs a personality transplant. As for Lula: she's already on Dave's side wiping her sword blade clean of her hypocrisy. Fang is screwed, whoop-de-doo! We hit the montage as Dave wins in such compelling competitions such as pottery (which Fang slaps the clay and it splatters into the judge's face), then we DANCE! DANCE! DANCE TO THEIR DOOM! HEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Wow; I cannot believe from a company where funny animals dancing is a culture instead of a spot, this is the first time since Fish Talent Show that I have used that quote from The Smurf's special which involved a wedding. Fang squashes a bug and it farts when it dies. Much like Oswidge's Krackpotkin plan is dying before their very eyes.
So then they do funny faces and Fang actually does a great job here, but since she has already lost two of the three competitions; this means nothing at this point. Dave then sniffs a flower and his head swells up. Wait; what?! So Dave gets buried by a dozen of the same kind of flower as is used here and his head doesn't swell up; but one flower makes his swelled head goes up. What a dumb logic break this is?! Even Fang is calling BS on this; so you know it's dumb. Dave wins the competition and gets a big ass trophy for his spoils; as the family is now the pets of Phoebe and Zeus. So we head inside their house as Candy is complaining, Fang is getting a lot of eye contact violence before and after the match; Fappy and Oswidge don't give a damn as Oswidge is eating right in the big ass bowl of dog food on the floor. You cannot accuse Oswidge of being a picky eater, that is for sure. So we pan over to Dave the Barbarian blowing them off and doing the "Now you know how I feel!" speech. Which is all true by the way. Then Lula turns on Dave by saying that Dave is being an ass because they are his family. Dave asks what the point is of this and Lula explains that they came for him and gave up their freedom for him, thus it means that they actually apprecaite him. No it doesn't Lula. The family wants him back because he's a wimp who is easy to control. Dave has taken the hint and...OH NO! Dave actually believes her?! SCREW YOU DAVE~! Granted; being a puppy for a god isn't all that great to begin with, but it sure beats getting crapped on for the past 30 episodes or so for being a coward and being disrespected for who he is because he refuses to adhere to social pressures of being a man. And now you are going to act like being a puppy is a bad thing? This episode is falling fast after a great start and even a good middle. Then the episode gets better as Dave ponders over how to free his friends and then he remembers the message Zeus literally pounds into his head (as per the balloon of child corrupting doom); which even Dave has to blow off causing Zeus to apologize before disappearing. I don't know why; but it was funny.
So Dave jumps down; grabs the family and throws them onto the green cushion sofa. The family protests this outrage as Dave sits down; then the door slams open and Zeus is angry now. Dave proclaims that he is on the sofa; and they are gone out of their lives. Zeus proclaims that this is not the case because when he means gone, he means "I am going to kill you!". Wow; this guy is even worse than Dave hiding behind a puppy. Of course; I stopped watching this show the moment that happened, so there you go. See what happens when BS&P goes too far? You get moments like this! So the babyfaces all flee to the door; and it opens to reveal Phoebe. Dave channels an ankle biter as he wants safety from Phoebe and Phoebe has dumped him like Dave did to Irmapoltz, for no reason. Then she brings out her new pet and...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASHE JUST MADE CHUCKLES A PETHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How does that rate on the Chuckles laughing scale? Seriously; I would like to know. Chuckles blows her off and Phoebe pets him causing him to sleep like a silly piggy. Awww! My heart melted. Dave and company bail as Dave is giving the word to turn; which is turn by the way into the mousehole; causing Zeus to do a missile headbutt into the hole and crash into the wall like a bird crashing into a window. So the family thinks that they are safe; and then they turn around to see an anthro mouse wearing a beret with a navy blue/white shirt. So we go on and on about some resistance movement which sounds so compelling that we all know isn't going to happen because we have about a minute left. So the mouse is calling for a taxi and that is that. Yip; more cheap comedy. So we head back to Udrogoth as the family and Dave are at the dinner table as the babyfaces all promise to never treat Dave like crap ever again. Yeah; I'll bet. I give thirty seconds that they will break their promise. So Oswidge gives Dave a blue present box and I was hoping that Fang would channel Jokey Smurf here as a gag, but no. Inside is a scroll of things Dave must do for dinner written by Candy. So yes; Candy is the one who doesn't give a damn about lessons. Lessons are for old farts; which is amazing considering that the whole point of a lesson it to teach children to try to not make the same mistake that they made. Candy needs a personality transplant, STAT!
So as I expected; the babyfaces all trick Dave into doing all this while getting more presents and then bail. Dave proclaims that he needs to apprecate himself more. Doesn't that lead to vanity or something? So we get to see the puppet show done by this clown guy who doesn't wear any shoes. Logic break: If you recall; Dave said that he must be returned by midnight the same day. Dave was gone for seven days, maybe more. So; why is the puppet guy still here? Really guys! So we watch a bunch of handpuppets on stage, none of it was funny, but for Dave he is rolling on the floor laughing his ass off. Lula is not amused, neither am I and these babyfaces are so lame as the episode ends at 10:26. This was a great episode when Dave was Phoebe's pet and once the competition started it was rolling downhill into crap. The real bad stuff started when Lula turned on Dave after defending him earlier when Dave decided to agree with Lula, even though as seen in the ending; Dave's beef was completely justified. And Candy's personality is reaching Carly Shay levels of shallowness now. Call it *** (60%). Still; Chuckles as Phoebe's pet did make me laugh, so that's why it's not below ** 1/2.
THE REVIEW LINE
So we got two middling shorts this time around. Red Sweater Of Courage was better than I made it out when I first saw it. Sure; Dave hiding behind a puppy was awful and it was serious go away heat for me, but after seeing this show almost from start to finish; it isn't a big deal anymore. If they had this as the first episode of the series, it would have killed the show outright and it would probably only go about 13 half hour segments instead of 20. To me; Chuckles getting buried in five minutes by being a glazed ham in his first appearance on the show did a lot more damage to the show than this. Other than a few logic breaks; this episode was all right. The finish was great even if it was botched a bit, and Fang's defeat of Chuckles reminds me of a statement made by Kid in Chrono Cross: I'll kick your arse so hard that you'll kiss the moon! It never happened in Chrono Cross; but Fang did manage in her own way to make that happen. Chuckles is still great as the bumping on the moon spot is memorable, just like half of A Pig's Story. His appearance in Dog In The Titan was also funny; and the storyline was a great one as Dave wants to be happy, so he leaves to become someone else's dog. Now I admit that being someone else's dog is really horrible in many ways; but in this case, it was better than getting crapped on for 30 episodes for being different than other men. I approved of this and Phoebe was a good character throughout. The competition was funny and Oswidge taking the defeat well was priceless. However; the episode fell apart when Dave actually turned because he was completely justified in his anger; even more so when the ending came and all of the babyfaces turned on him yet again, only this time; Dave stopped caring and did his puppet show which shouldn't have happened. The finish was telegraphed within four minutes of the episode; but whatever. At least they did a twist ending and a middle finger to BS&P. Overall; both shorts ended up being decent enough; but Dog Of The Titans could have been a lot better if they didn't book themselves into a corner yet again. So next up is the final half hour segment of Dave with Fang being a monkey for real; and rose-color glasses made for real! So....
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you all next time.