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Dave The Barbarian: Not A Monkey/Happy Glasses
Reviewed: 09/28/2014
Not A Happy Pair Of Monkey Glasses!
So we finally have reached the end of Dave The Cleaning Barbarian Of Laughs; and I am going to miss this show. At least Chuckles' antics along with Irmapoltz and Ned wanting revenge on Dave and wanting to do evil things to him. So we end with Fang getting sick and apparently, a doctor has confirmed her to be a legit monkey. Ooooooo..Then we end with Chuckles giving the family rose-colored glasses that will make them turn on each other and destroy Udrogoth. I like where this is going in fact. So let's rant on shall we...?!
Not A Monkey is written and story edited by Evan Gore and Heather Lombard. Happy Glasses is written and story edited by Doug Langdale. The animation is done by Wang Films.
Opening Moment #1: Final castle crumble shot of the day: A wagon with a creepy dude wearing a green shirt, and purple pants; with an open mouth showing his lack of teeth pulling a lever (JESUS~! With a skull on the top of said lever.) on a wagon with candles lit and purple beams in the front. Someone is trying to annoy me here; and this failed.
Not A Monkey: We begin this one at Udrogoth castle as there is a fierce snowstorm outside as the narrator go on and on about winter being the time when nothing happens. So then we head to spring to a meadow with Dave skipping with Lula carrying some box of some sorts. I discover that it's a yellow box of klenex; because Fang is shown sneezing. Yes folks; she has spring allergies. After all the episodes of illogical BS with Dave's allergies, NOW we have to deal with Fang having an reaction to yellow flowers in a meadow. Lula proclaims that she needs a doctor; which is reasonable, and Fang sneezes again and get caught in a hallow tree. Chargemen Ken sound effects ensue (aka no sound effects) as Lula claims that she also needs a tree surgeon which I don't think can save this one. So we head to Barber Ian's Hair Salon; which as an axe in the background stuck to a piece of wooden fence. I should also note that the yellow sign also reads: Cuts, Colors, Executions. Yes folks; Ian is moonlighting as the guy who does the death sentences in Udrogoth. I find that kind of pointless because BS&P rules; and when is the last time this kingdom had any laws that required an execution? So we head inside as Fang is sitting in the barbar chair; and Ian is wearing boot pants; which means that his boot extend from his feet all the way to his belly. He also has male pattern baldness, a brown beard, brown hair and a grey mustache. He is wearing no shirt otherwise and he's fat. He's also moonlights as a doctor; so he would be a barbadoc! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So he grabs Fang's tongue and stretches it to about three times the height of Fang to examine it; and he claims that there is nothing to be done; because she has a disease that it only found in monkeys. Fang of course is pissed off; and the doctor actually channels ME in a diplomatic fashion. Fang doesn't care because she claims that she is not a monkey. She sneezes Dave's hair style completely off for fun; and Lula claims that the hairstyle is good. Dave panics; but Ian has the cure which is to find some berries from a bush in the Island of Lost Sunglasses. Kajabbers with amazement! It only cures monkeys; Fang's pissed.
Dave asks where to go and the doctor tells him to hook a right at the Island of Lost Pin Needles; and that is that. So we scene change to Dave packing up stuff with Fappy and in a rare continuity moment, Dave is still almost completely bald. YAY! So Dave packs his knitting gear and then Fang is talking strange for some reason. I don't understand what she is talking about; so I'm more amused by Dave selecting wigs and weapons to make him look good; like a red haired wig with a whip. Or blond hair and disco king. Then green punk hair. Lula asks if he has the village idiot; and Dave puts on what looks to be a bird nest on his head. Now that's a village idiot. Fang sneezes and flies right into Dave's mouth with Chargemen Ken sound effects (aka none); as Fang claims that Dave has a cravity. I don't believe that for one second. Scene changer to Candy carrying a giant ass bit of luggage; which makes Hoppo look like the queen of restraint in Ghostrustlers. And that was merely her purse too. Fang blows her off as Candy proclaims that if she isn't allowed to bring the luggage, she is not going. So Fang kicks the purse into the luggage and claims that this works for her. Works for me too by the way. Oswidge cannot come because he is a useless load who used a gravity spell and needs a ceiling to support himself because if he doesn't, he'll fly into space and die. If that happens; will the planet lose any value? He crashes through the most sturdy ceiling in the castle; and manages to stay against a leaky roof that looks ready to collapse. So yeah; it's Fang, Dave, Lula and Fappy walking in the desert in search of the berries which proves once and for ever that Fang is indeed a monkey. They go downhill and step on some purple tonga wearing man on his belly reading a book. His name is Bill; and he's used to being walked all over by now. Then we swim on sea and sand; then we sail the seas on cookies & cream, with Fang doing all the rowing while Dave is the captain doing absoluely nothing but staring at something we do not see. Yes; they were sailing on an Oreo cookie; why do you ask? So they land on shore and the entire island is filled with piles of lost sunglasses.
Of course; one of them does the eye-blinking sound despite it being a star sparkle. Is the budget for sound effects really that small? Or was copyright really worse than it is now? The babyfaces stare in awe as all but Fang bail on cue. Fang sneezes and remembers to cover her mouth this time around. Her face swells up; so Dave uses the bone in her hair as a twist knob to get her face back to normal. Okay. So we walk in the jungle as Lula and Fang has already stolen shades to wear. Fappy is wearing oversized cyan blue sunglasses; while Dave is wearing cat ears and kitty rimmed shades. That last one amused me. Fang then takes the sunglasses and crushes them. What a horrible monkey this Fang is?! Just because Dave looks like an absolute goofball; doesn't give you the right to ruin his goofy bliss. The berries are known as Puckerberries by the way as Fang wants to get this one over with. Like me wanting to get this series over with. Then we hear a gunfire like explosion as Fang wonders what that was; prompting Dave to look in his purple covered field guide book (which may or may not be better than the Junior Woodchuck...Oh wait; it's not.) while wearing a captains hat with a blue feather in the middle which was completely out of nowhere. Anyhow; the deadly noise according to the book is a flock of overweight sheeps. Lula is looking straight at them; which they are rhinos with sunglasses on. To which I reply: Of course! Dave blows off Lula as Fang pushes them away from the path to save them. Then Fang gets kidnaped and swung through the trees. The narrator asks if everyone except Fang has been crushed and Fang doesn't know. Of course they weren't crushed because BS&P rules! So Fang demands this monkey arm (I'm not fooled here guys!) to put her down, and it does as Fang falls exactly one foot onto a tree branch after some warnering. Then Fang calls this a bad joke and then notices a bunch of monkeys staring at her. They have the same hairstyle as Fang, the same head size as Fang, the same bone through the hair as Fang, and outside of the hair, they even has the same size as Fang. Fang does the eye blinking sound and then screams loudly. Yawn.
Fang takes out a mirror; looks at the monkeys and herself in said mirror to compare. Then she throws the mirror away and screams. Then she points and screams again; which causes the other monkeys to do the exact same thing. Then Fang stops and sezs on the other hand; and then screams again. The narrator claims that Fang has freaked out because they are monkeys and the comparsion is uncanny against her. However; we hit the montage as Fang and the monkeys are best buddies now. Yeah. We swing through trees; we do English to Monkey language translations. Banana is "ook"; monkey is "eek" and Newton's law is Ack. We even have a bus full of monkeys taking Fang to Monkey City. There is a monkey flying the most fire prone helicopter I have ever seen. We then cut to the monkeys slamming a banana hat on her head; and then we get a charming exchange in their monkey language complete with subtitles. Fang of course screws this up and then we scene change to Fang looking at a picture of her family as she wonders if she really is a monkey. She sneezes and we get pinball effects as the monkeys also pinball like crazy off the trees and other such objects, thus the eyeball allergy is common among monkeys. So they make the pillgrimage to the puckerberry bush in which we scene change to the bush as the monkeys all eat one berries and the sickness is cured instantly. Fang eats one of them; and she sneezes the bush completely off the trunk which the monkeys are not amused by. Fang then deduces that this proves that she is not a monkey after all; and thus Ian is a racist. Why doesn't that surprise me? Fang proclaims that she is not a monkey to them in their language. One of the monkeys calls this interesting and then they turn on her seconds later. Why doesn't that surprise me? Fang does the "nice kitty" spot on them (of all people, Fang should know better than to do that spot.); and then she bails. Scooby Doo chase sequence the monkey on monkey person edition ensues. She runs into Dave; who now is wearing a black hairstyle as the babyfaces have a meeting of the minds. And it wasn't at the hat show. So yes; we discover that Dave got the hair from gorrillas.
This is getting silly now as Fappy was taken in by a family of lemons; because Fappy has a IQ of a single digit as he hangs from the lemon tree with this tongue. Lula claims that she checked out of a high rise hotel and was doing line dancing. Yeah; we are really overbooking this episode now as the gorillas, monkey and lemons hate the babyfaces and are chasing them. The babyfaces cut a "1939 Wizard of Oz" promo; and Dave eats lemon and screams. Fang burns Dave's head into a match again causing Dave to compare it to lemon pie. Fang grabs Dave and we bail. Scooby Doo chase sequences the "gorillas, lemons and monkeys, OH MY!" edition. We then proceed to do circus spots for a long ass whomping time ending with the babyfaces no selling jumping into the smallest inflatable swimming pool they could find on short notice. Yeah. So then the babyfaces run to the shoreline and the Oero cookie boat is gone. How did that happen? Is the chocolate milk really that acidic? So the GLM runs in; and Fang cuts them off by invoking the LEGAL HAND OF GOD! Fang then asks why they hate humans; and one of the monkeys claims that humans have no tails and the gorillas claims that they have no pink ears. Fang then points out the complete logical fallacy of all this (because lemons have no tails, arms nor legs. Gorillas have no tails and monkeys have no pink ears); and points out that they are all different; thus they should embrace the differences. Thus there is no reason to attack humans anymore. I think environmentalists might dispute that last claim there Fang. Might. The GLM ponders this over and agree with Fang; so they turn on each other, because why not? This episode is CDS'ed to death since we know the puckerberries did nothing to cure Fang anyway. Dave is now wearing black hair with a blue ponytail ribbon as Dave calls this a bad day for tolerance. Lula blows off this BS and asks how they are getting home. So Fang grabs an out of nowhere pelican and plucks a feather from it. The pelican blows off the real reason why they hate humans; and Fang uses the feather to sneeze them into repeating the footage backwards; which is sort of different I guess.
So in the end of this; the babyfaces crash into the roof of Udrogoth castle off-screen with a lot of cloud dust; and that is that. So we go to the ending of this: Oswidge has managed to get to another sturdy ceiling as he and Fang are upside down on a ladder; with Oswidge checking Fang's tongue with a tongue dispenser and a light. Oswidge proclaims that Ian is a quack living in the dark ages because Fang's sneezing is caused by a germ known as a sneeze gremlin. So Oswidge is a mere wooer than a quack. So then Oswidge does the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in this show as he rams his hand into Fang's nostrils. You think I'm making this up? So Oswidge does enough screwing around that in any sane universe, Fang would get a serious nosebleed; and this leads to Oswidge grabbing an flesh colored pointy eared germlin with green pants and boots. The sneeze germlin protests this outrage as Dave is now looking like Abe Lincoln for absolutely no reason at all. So the germlin covers his mouth while sneezing and turns into Kirby for a moment. Then he pinballs off the walls and ceiling for a while; and then Candy enters the room blowing them off for acting like monkeys. Everyone including Fang are blowing her off for that slur; so we know who has been enabling this whole Fang gimmick from the start. This ends with Candy gets the sneeze gremlin up her nose; and she sneezes and flies away off-screen to end the episode at 10:26. This was a fun episode with a lot of overbooking that dragged it down once Fang found out that she was right all along in hating being called a monkey. *** 1/2 (70%). Deep breath everyone; the end is coming up next...
Happy Glasses: We begin this one with the village of Udrogoth containing a lot of gourds which tells me that they are sending me a message to get the hell away from this episode. Sadly; it won't work because it's the smell of the inside of the gourds, not the presence of them that causes me to vomit. We pan over to the castle which is also decorated. Dave and Fang come in with a wagon full of meat in which Fang implies that it is all from slaining monsters. Lovely! Dave pulls on the wagon as he is so giddy about the harvest season that Lula always has to look like a Debbie Downer in comparsion. Dave is giddy about seeing the Harvest Hog in which Fang blows off as fake. Never mind that we clearly saw Knuckles from an earlier episode take over as the Harvest Hog; so in term, the HH is real in storyline now. Dave then asks if goats are real because yesterday he wore a goat costume. Fang is about to answer the obvious and then gets repulsed causing her to crash into the top doorway of the castle entrance and fall onto the ground like a total moron. So then we scene change to a large golden city in which the narrator called Kalfeshu as we head inside the castle throne room with the king of Kalfeshu in front of his throne chair. The doors open and in comes Chuckles the Silly Piggy because apparently, if he cannot rule Udrogoth, he'll take on a city that is smarter than they are. That is some weird reverse psychology there Chuckles. The king is wearing a lot of green in this outfit as the guards come out with spears to cut him off. Fang stammers as the king wants him eliminated; so Chuckles counters with the golden edition of the CHEST OF DEMONS. The king takes the chest and opens it to reveal purple light coming out of it. The king is so happy and Chuckles proclaims that he'll come back later. So we get the Spongebob title card of doom sequence as it's merely 24 hours later; and the kingdom of Kalfeshu is completely destroyed and everyone is dead. Wow; Chuckles plan worked! It really, really worked! So Chuckles goes into the throne room and the King is selling despair as he blows off Chuckles for making everyone turn on everyone else. Wow; this king is really stupid.
Even more so: All he cared about was destroying the kingdom to build a shopping mall. So Chuckles did him a favor and made him look like a monsterous asshole in the process. I realize that this was supposed to be funny; but when you think about it for three seconds, it isn't funny at all. So we scene change to Chuckles walking out with the CHEST OF DEMONS as this was merely a trial run. Sadly; it's too little, too late for Chuckles now as a heel; so let's go to Udrogoth in order for Chuckles to fail again and again and again and again...(I sip some Diet Pepsi with the music stopped)...and again and again and again! So we head inside the kitchen as Dave looks out the window and confuses the destruction of Kalfeshu with them having a BBQ. Dave is in a chef's hat and apron cooking up some grub as the family is sitting at the table in front of the piles of meat hearing Candy complaining again and again and again and again...(sip)...and again and again and again and again. At least this time; it's sort of justified since Throktar and Glimia aren't coming to the feast this time. Oswidge tells them to chin up because they'll have the greatest feast ever, and he'll eat half of it when no one is looking. And then catches himself realizing that he screwed up badly. Then the doorbell rings; causing Dave to get all giddy because it's time for Harvest Hog carollers. So yes; the Harvest Hog is this world's version of Christmas. That's different at least although I doubt that we will see Knuckles ever again. So Dave answers the door; and in comes Chuckles who is not in disguise; indicating the Chuckles knows that this is the last episode and no one gives a damn. Fang calls out the pig; causing Chuckles to call her a monkey just to piss off Fang. See; he is here to announce that he is burying the hatchet with the family; which Dave is so giddy in hearing this. Because he loves hatchet trees you see. Chuckles blows him off and then recoils; and tells him that he wants to be friends with the family and end this whole war with them. So he wants to do a ceasefire; after all the stuff he has done as a heel, NOW we are supposed to take this seriously.
Chuckles proclaims that he has a peace offering as he shows off the CHEST OF DEMONS and gives it to the family. The family opens the chest and they call the purple lights pretty as there is a designer pair of sunglasses with star rims on them and lenes that look rose colored. Hmmmm; are they implying that this devastating weapon is known as "rose-colored" glasses? Nah; couldn't be. If they were "rose-colored glasses" then destruction could not happen because everyone would appear to get along. Chuckles laughs as only he can; and then catches himself, yells happy holidays (so yes; this was intended to be the Christmas episode) and bails. Dave asks about trying them on first and Oswidge proclaims that this doesn't sound right since it came from the #1 heel. Then he realizes that the heel has been completely buried and the show is ending; so let's do a blink eyes sound to annoy me and Oswidge lets Dave wear the glasses first. So Dave puts on the glasses meaning that we'll be seeing a lot of FPS shots of the castle which looks like a pink paradise of awesomeness. Lots of pink in this one. I guess rose color means pink in this world; even though there was a lot of purple in those shades, so whatever. Dave sezs kajabbers and he look like a classical musician crossed with a pimp; which has to be the funniest and most fitting combination in the history of fashion crossover. Lots of piano playing music ensue as Dave dances around looking all giddy; and I have to admit that this does make me laugh. Then a matire'D arrives and tells us the feast menu of doom; and for the sake of my sanity, I refuse to explain what the menu actually is. The narrator explains that these are rose-colored glasses which of course do exactly what the metaphor of the term "rose-colored glasses" is: Seeing a fantasy world in their eyes as a shoot. Dave likes this menu and then we have kittens appearing for Dave to get all giddy about as well. Then Oswidge comes in dressed like a noble asking for Dave to play harvest songs on his ukelele (which was probably stolen from Goofy, THE FIEND~!); and Dave puts the cats on Oswidge's head and brings out a ukelele. TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues.
Dave is singing like Kevin Michael Richardson of course. Candy runs in looking like Cinderella for red haired girls as she is complaining as usual. Even in the rose-colored world of Dave; he cannot make it so Candy stops complaining. So I think this implies that Dave doesn't mind when Candy is complaining. Candy wants her room redone and Dave has no problems making it into a Egyptian theme. Does this mean that the cassette player will be in evidence too? Dave looks at Fang dressed like a nice girl as Fang wants him to stop being a barbarian and become a sweater knitter for poodles. This leads to Dave; taking the glasses off and noticing that the glasses are causing the effect because as Fang is speaking nice with the glasses on; Fang wants to kick Dave's ass when he takes them off. This is an interesting paradox to say the least. So Dave proclaims that these glasses are odd; so Oswidge swipes them from Dave's face, and proclaims that he must make sure that they are fun...ERRR...he means safe. If you meant safe; then why did you allow Dave to wear them first?! You are not fooling anyone, Oswidge! We all know that you have evil intentions to wear those rose-colored glasses. So Oswidge wears the glasses and he sees mounds and mounds on food on the table and all around in the room, even though there is nothing there in reality. So he starts eating and he feels all fat and stuff; but then he looks down at his waist and he looks like a buffed version of Malsquando as Dave runs in praising him along with Lula who actually sezs nice things about his hair. Okay; there is undeniable proof that these rose-colored glasses are a dangerous meance to the general public. Because in this world; Oswidge has actual white hair. Candy proclaims that she needs help in defending the kingdom with his uncanny magic; while Fang likes him as an uncle. So Oswidge is about to do this awesome magic moment; and then Candy swipes the glasses and he is denied again. He is still a useless load until the very end. Candy puts on the glasses and sees a lot of stuffed animals, hearts and other assorted cute things. What; no mounds of shoes? Oh wait; that would be real, never mind.
Candy looks like a pop star with a vast amount of purple. I totally disagree with Candy's crown not being ugly; because it looks hideous in comparsion to the real crown. So the family is dressed in teenage cool outfits which today would be totally uncool in 2014! Which by the way means that Dave The Barbarian as a show is ten years old! You seriously thought I would forget that?! Then we see the Backstreet Ministrials mug for the camera up close and Candy is shocked and awed by their presence. They hold hands and start dancing with Candy for the harvest hog season because Candy is a stereotypical teenager who thinks hot boy bands speak to her. What a shock huh?! TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues; and I don't care. The song is okay; but seriously, who cares anymore? I care more about the cute ministrial since he is voiced by Quinton Flynn and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): He is most notable for providing the English voices of video game characters such as Raiden in the Metal Gear series, Croix in La Pucelle: Tactics, Axel in the Kingdom Hearts series, Reno in Final Fantasy VII and its sequels and prequels, Myifee in Ninety-Nine Nights, and as Henry in No More Heroes. He can also be heard in the strategy game Command & Conquer: Generals as the Hum-vee, Missile Defender, Pathfinder, Raptor, and U.S. Pilot units. He is also a frequently recurring actor on the stop-motion sketch series Robot Chicken and the video game series Crash Bandicoot. His younger brother Bart Flynn is also a voice actor, both of whom have voiced characters on The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy. He is also the current voice of Silver the Hedgehog. Outside of voice acting, he has a 3 track record in digital format titled, "Puzzled Yesterdays." He is also the narrator of the Investigation Discovery TV Series "I'd Kill For You". Most of this work is in anime and video games; but his debut and DTVA debut was Timon & Pumbaa as Timon. He also appeared on Quack Pack in Tasty Paste.
Bilai as Saad is his most recent credit. He has 167 acting credits, 1 producer credit (A Hard Day's Day), 1 soundtrack credit (Metal Gear Solid 4: Gun Of Patroits) and one other credit (Twisted Metal: Head-On as Catfish in an uncredited role) to his resume. Someone farts and Fang steals the glasses to grind this pointless song to a halt. So now it's Fang's turn to try them on. Fang sees a lot of monsters and thugs in her life; and she has the body of what could be a romancized version of herself. Imagine Dave's body sown onto Fang's head. She yells like Tarzan, and wishes she was even Jane. The family are evil barbarians and Fappy is a grown musclar yellow dragon now; with Lula as Lula. Fang is loving this of course. I love how Candy states that she wants to do violence and non-socially redeeming things before the family growls in unison. So Dave steals the glasses and tries to bail; but get tripped up by Candy who steals them back. Fang and Oswidge join in and then the glasses go flying and land right on Fappy's face. Oh; this should be fun to mock. So he smiles wide and he's against a stock background of a forest near a lake. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This last one is reality actually; which makes these glasses the Ironic Rose-Colored Glasses. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dave steals them again and the dream is dead. What a dastard this Dave fellow is?! So the family has a meeting of the minds; which is kind of pointless now. It's the last episode of the series; I want it to end so badly now even though nothing really bad has happened in this.
FCC FRIENDLY CLOUDDUST FIGHT OF DEATH ensues and this one actually assures that there be no winner since there's no heel for the babyface to make a comeback. Unless you consider Candy a heel now; which after Dog Of The Titans, might be apporos. The yellow stars come out to play as special effects for fun as Lula is tsking this situation. When the cocky prick look like the biggest babyface of the episode; you know those rose-colored glasses are bad news. Dave manages to steal them in the confusion and it's time for the CDS overbooking to take over as Dave literally runs around the planet. You've seen this spot before; and this one isn't as funny as when he does this spot when running away in fear and panic. So he finds a cave in the mountains on a dark and stormy night (this is just writing itself now); as we see Dave in the cave acting psycho about a bunch of shades. He puts them on and we continue with Dave's fantasy of song and spirit; with ukelele. So we go on and on about being in this fantasy forever and then the matire'D shows up with a dome and platter; and it contains some slimy orange something. I'm sorry; my French sucks. All I know is that Dave samples the food; and thinks it's great, but then realizes that it's not the dish he wanted and thus this is all a work. So then Dave gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as the narrator tries to dig the lesson into Dave's brain, but it takes about five to six attempts and a lot of cheese toast before Dave finally realizes that without his family, this fantasy is really useless as cheese toast. So he takes the glasses off and realizes that he is in a cave, which is funny because he put the glasses on after he went to the end of the cave. Dave wants to return to the harvest hog feast; but the narrator proclaims that he must see Chuckles instead; and since the narrator is the god of this story; Dave must complain and then obey because the narrator wants an action scene. Yeah; the narrator wants Dave to kick Chuckles' kiester, like a heel! So we head back to the front of Chuckles' castle for the last time as Chuckles looks at his pocket watch and laughs as only he can while cutting awesome promos.
So awesome in fact; that he blows up during this. Chuckles proclaims that he should play racquetball instead; and in runs Dave invoking the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH on Chuckles. Dave then suggest low impact aerobics; because, why not? Chuckles calls in his generic lackies which are the usual rank in file colored trolls; and orders them to squash Dave. They of course squash Chuckles who has now broken his piggy rib cage. Sucks to be Chuckles as Dave panics (what a shock?) and bails. Scooby Doo chase sequence the troll edition ensues and then Dave goes to the exact same spot he was in when he bailed; puts a penny down on the ground and bails. The trolls are instantly distracted by this; which begs the question: Why didn't he do this before he bailed; but after he panicked? This question cannot be answered; do not think too much. Chuckles is pissed off because he hired non-union goons. So Dave gets behind him and puts the rose-colored glasses onto Chuckles. Chuckles turns around and proclaims that he is immune to the glasses and brings out the amulet and blasts Dave into ashes and eyeballs. So then Chuckles goes into his own castle and then we get the Spongebob Narrator Title Card Of Death; which this ends 45 minutes later as we clearly see that Chuckles has completely destroyed his castle. However; the narrator keeps insisting that it is Udrogoth's Castle. Sorry narrator; I'm not fooled as Chuckles is laughing as only he can, and then the narrator admits that Chuckles failed and is sitting down at the table in Udrogoth castle laughing and no one cares because the Harvest Hog feast marches on without any trouble whatsoever. Dave proclaims that as long as he is in his blissful state; he is harmless as Fang grabs Chuckles and squashes, squeezes and throws Chuckles directly into the hard camera while Chuckles doesn't even care what is happening. Yes folks; this is how the episode and the series ends at 10:26...With Chuckles wearing the rose-colored glasses and thinking he won when he probably destroyed his own castle. It's too bad, because a proper ending to this would have been apporos even if it's a shoutout to Gummi Bears. This episode was fun until it got overbooked. However; it was good enough, so *** 1/4 (65%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; the series is finally over and these two shorts were pretty fun even though both shorts were overbooked by the end. There was nothing bad about them; there was nothing really memorable about them. They were a bunch of entertaining shorts that will not stand the test of time years from now; but for the moment of amusement, they worked out well. I am a little disappointed about Happy Glasses because the idea of rose-colored glasses causing destruction is a great idea on paper at least. The ending was disappointing because I thought Chuckles destroyed his own castle since he was standing in front of it; but the narrator made it to look like it was Udrogoth castle; which makes no sense at all. Anyhow; Not A Monkey was also fun; but overbooking also hurt it's heat a little bit because once it was discovered that Fang was indeed not the monkey, the show simply fell off the rails. Sneezing gremlins be damned though! So this officially ends Dave The Cleaning Barbarian Of Laughs as there were only 41 episodes in this series. Final count is six thumbs up, 25 thumbs in the middle and 10 thumbs down which is not great; but it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. The biggest problem with this show is that they tried to go for the cheap laughs and fart jokes way too early; and not focus more on making the storyline make sense and making the characters likable so that we can care about watching the show. The first four episodes showed that the writers had no idea what they were doing. They buried Chuckles (which outside of his first appearance was one of the funniest heels in DTVA in a long time) within five minutes of his first appearance as a glazed ham which would have been great as a spot at the end of the series! That officially offended me a lot more than Dave hiding behind a puppy in Red Sweater Of Courage simply because by then, there was no heat left in the show. All the characters certainly had their moments; but almost all of them were overwhelmed by their gimmicks.
Fang's psychopathy really got on my nerves in later episodes; and Hoarder was seen to me as an outright burial of her. When she reduced Storm The Slayer into a massive pile of steaming goo; that was Fang's greatest moment. Slay What? deserves the trophy for best episode of the series. Oswidge wasn't horrible; he was just useless and a stinky old man. Fappy's one digit IQ was annoying; but his great moment in Slay What with Candy doing butt judo deserves mention. Sadly; this was both Fappy and Candy's only great moment in the series. Candy did have a few good moments; but her routine of shoe buying and complaining really looked bad in hindsight. Lula is an asshole; and other than a new notable moments; she was the worst character of the series. Dave was the best babyface of the show and while I was offended by him hiding behind a puppy; and I felt that his cleaning gimmick turned kids off; everything else about him is actually good to great. I laughed with him and I laughed at him. He tried to make this show not suck; and he had limited success. Dave never truly offended me in any way. I love Chuckles outside of his first appearance and I'll always have his parody of the show's theme song penciled in as one of the funniest middle fingers to the babyfaces in the history of DTVA. Ned Frischman, Princess Irmpoltz and Strom The Slayer were awesome heels, while Quosmir and Malsquando were average at best; although Mals demise in Hoarders was funny. So after watching this show; I wondered: What if the writers really didn't screw up in the early episodes and actually produced great television with this show? I think they would have been renewed for at least another season. This show felt like filler and it was treated like filler even more so than TaleSpin was. At least TaleSpin had 65 episodes; and had more stories than this show. There were few guest voices on the show; the animation was too Nickeledeon like (I would have perferred Disney stealing an obscure style than copying a style that is still on the air even today. COUGH Fairly Oddparents COUGH!), and the narrator was a horrible character when you put more than ten seconds of thought into it after watching A Pig's Story.
However; in all that mess of problems, Dave The Barbarian could have been really good. Maybe not on the same level as Gummi Bears or even shows like Phineas & Ferb, but it did have flashes of brilliance inside the horrible gimmicks and unlikable characters. At the end of the day; it's another story that was screwed up during the production process. Dave will never be on DVD; which is interesting since as I mentioned in the rant, Dave the Barbarian is ten years old this year. Yeah. So what is up next? Well; I got the Fall Assortment coming and right now I'll be working on Gravity Falls after Canadian Thanksgiving. It'll be only the first six episodes though; as I'll be doing the other eight at another time and place to be determined. After that; I'll probably do some Kick Buttowski and some prep work. I have Jake & The Neverland Pirates episodes on DVD. Of course; there is the Christmas Special and I'm going to do both the Bonkers episode and the Kick Buttowski one with Cousin Kyle. So there will be lots of fun upcoming before the big TaleSpin celebration coming up in 2015! So....
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you all next time with Gravity Falls.