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Dead Duck

Reviewed: 03/09/2008

How I feel after watching bad cartoons.

Here we are at the very last episode of Volume 2 of DARKWING..DUCK! Believe me; I feel like a dead duck after watching this series judging by the roller coaster ride that I have been put through in terms of quality. So; it's fitting that my feelings would lead to this final episode called Dead Duck. The basic plot line: Drake dies. Seriously; he does. All done years before Peter Griffin ruined the experience for me; thus proving that Seth's role in life is to ruin my childhood experience. The depressing part: Many people LOVE Family Guy. So; let's rant on shall we...

The episode is written by Carter Crocker and the story editor is Tad Stones.. The animation is done by Walt Disney Animation Japan and the ANIMATION STUDIOS OF RUIN!

We begin this one with the bridge shot in THE CITY OF SAINT CANARD as the sirens are wailing and the criminal mind is getting stinky. There; that sounds better. And you know it's WD-Japan animating because they animated the water in the harbor. We pan over to a side view of the actual city and then into the streets of Saint Canard as the Rat Catcher (Drake and LP inside as usual) is chasing Sparky who is walking on power wires and not getting shocked. TAKE THAT JESUS SO SEZS SPARKY! Drake and Sparky exchanges blow off's as they go inside the ANVIL STORAGE OF NEIDHARTS (helpfully labeled as such by the ANVIL OF NEIDHART sign above the front door. LP calls it Andy's Anvil Factory and sadly I have no witty retort for that one. Drake jumps out and enters having a bad feeling about this which is a telegraph for smark fans that Drake is going to die as if the name of the episode wasn't enough.

See; Drake wants a pillow factory for a change. Maybe it's because Sparky hates things soft and like doing things hard. Have you ever thought of that. Sparky is above them on the catwalk and goes to the KNIVES CONSOLE OF DOOM (On come on; the levers (WRONG LEVERS!!) are made of KNIFE HANDLES.) and pulls the levers (WRONG LEVERS!) to send down the small ANVIL OF NEIDHART; but Drake dodges it easily. As least the bump was on this time. None of that crappy Kennedy stuff for this episode no siree! More lever (WRONG LEVER!) pulling leads to another ANVIL OF NEIDHART which misses Drake by a foot..which really means that it hit Drake's foot and Drake no-sells the shot. Logic break #1 for the episode as Drake calls him an electronic egomaniac. Oh; snap! Drake tells Sparky that he cannot do this and he insert his fingers in between his other fingers and flutters Sparky off.

Sparky blows him off and tries it; but the POWER OF LATEX sticks them together. Okay; that was pretty funny and Sparky has no one but himself to blame for that one. Sparky tries to use his boot to un-sticks his fingers; but Drake runs up and points the gas gun in order to make Sparky suck gas. His goose is cooked even though he is not a goose. A ferret would be more accurate here Drake Mallard. Sparky jumps around and he is unstuck as he laughs at him and does the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH at Drake. Drake is SHOCKED AND APPALLED by this intentional attempt to leech off Drake's heat. Sparky goes over to the oven and takes out a cooked goose! TOTAL MARKUP CITY FOR THAT SPOT! It has a good 20 minutes left so says Sparky which ironically enough is the amount of time left in the episode. Now that how to fourth wall break without making it look so obvious. Drake is not amused and he get nailed by the ANVIL OF NEIDHART good and drops down into the floor below. LP grabs him from the carnage and Drake is dizzy; but not dead yet. And then it's the ANVIL OF NEIDHART RALLY OF DOOM spot which is just plain overkill..Drake is not dead yet as he pops out of DA...HOLE! God bless Baby Plucky!

The strength of his helmet saves him from certain death as he pulls it off and goes dizzy as the PILLIAC SYMBOL OF DOOM pops from his head. LP calls his head as pretty bad. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Sparky jumps down and exits stage right remembering to drop another ANVIL OF NEIDHART for good measure. Sadly; it doesn't work because Drake and LP get back into the Rat Catcher. Drake cuts his dangerous promo two and a half minutes in; but LP tells him to stop because he's not wearing a helmet. Remember the pilot episode where Gosalyn blows off Drake for not wearing one? Well; here we go as Drake blows off LP because he doesn't have the time to get one and the ANVIL OF NEIDHART fell onto one. LP thinks that it's too dangerous to not be wearing one; but Drake blows him off because he will be careful. BWHAHAHAHAHA! I'm supposed to believe THAT...after seeing YOU get MURDERED on this show Drake?!

LP goes for the role model card and that only serves to piss off Drake even more. I say let him die and have Fenton Crackshell take his place. Sadly; this is status quo Disney so it isn't going to happen until 1994 at least. The Rat Catcher races stage right and the CHASE TO CHASE POWER WIRE SKATING SPARKY MUST CONTINUE! Sparky outsmarts him by skating into an alleyway and Drake turns to his right to say where he went which is the fatal mistake of death for Drake...and I mean DEATH in this one as the Rat Catchet is heading for the park bench and it crashes into it good. Sadly; Drake didn't have seat belts installed in the Rat Catcher and goes flying telling kids not to try that spot at home. Not because it's dangerous; but it's REALLY STUPID. Drake crashes into the brick wall which would have stopped his movement in this universe; but apparently, the writers decided to use real world physics and Drake heads into heaven because he's dead. All the bumps are wussy because it's all on clouds see.

Drake recovers and calls that landing the most painless he had to endure as he acts like a child on that spot (check the fingers on the toes); but he free falls again and he lands with wussy bumps into the CAVE FROM HELL. Well; he's officially DEAD so the spot is apporos. Yeah; I know that I'm giving it away well in advance, but it is just too obvious not to notice. Drake blows off that hole and even threatens a possible lawsuit which goes nowhere. Drake walks in the cave to waste some more time and then notices a long line of furries waiting to die...ERRR...for an awesome in cave theme park. Yeah; that is what it is. Pay no attention to the ranter behind the computer. Those must be the furries who were rejected by Disney when the show was first made and this is their punishment I guess. Drake walks to the side because butting into the front is his game as he swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (what in the devil is going on?) and his nightmares are answered as he is SHOCKED to see that he is in hell (Check the lake of fire which is where the idiots are going. The red smoke cloud (which would be bad for your health and movie rating if you were not dead I suppose) and out pops Satan who happens to be a red donkey carrying his pitchfork and wearing a black cape with blue trim along with black shoes. Satan is amazed to see Drake and even shake hands with him.

Drake pulls the hand back and somehow selling it as if it were crushed rather than burned. Drake asks him where he is and who he is. Satan whispers his name and place because Satan and Hell are still not allowed in DTVA. Sadly; the visuals don't lie and therefore Disney is screwed as Satan uses the pitchfork to move the used car salesman who so happens to be that greasy salesman from The Bigger They Are; The Louder They Oink...I think; it's hard to tell....and he goes flying into the fireplace and he is burned to ashes. At least in theory. Drake is scared now as he approaches Satan and asks him how to get out of here. Satan has a chuckle and tells him that he cannot get out and that's the answer while almost saying hell. Memo to Disney: No one is fooled. This is the Christian vision of hell. Might as well say it; or use heaven instead where you CAN use that word without any problems. He then uses the pitchfork to fry a politician's butt and he goes flying to his death in the furnace. Drake storms stage left and of course that angers Satan as he uses the flaming pitchfork but Drake dodges it.

See; Drake would look good on his resume. Drake runs to the flaming elevator and anyone who has episode where Sam meets the devil in Bugs Bunny (he managed to say hell in THAT one rendering the whispering pointless)..knows what is going to happen next. I check the DVD...and not quite yet as Lucifer (so why bother whispering? Use THAT name since it's all right. And so would the Lake of Fire which is the non-offensive term for hell).Sadly; Drake doesn't get burned as Satan protests this outrage as the elevator goes up....UP...UP...into heaven. The elevator pops up in heaven and Drake pops down with a wussy bump onto the ground. Curses! Foiled again as they say. An angel guard notices Drake as the elevator shoots down under the clouds and Drake brushes himself off. Drake goes to the pearly gates of heaven as Drake tells him that he is lost. The Angel Guard checks the reservations with the computer and he finds Da Vinci, Darwin, Durante but sees no DARKWING...DUCK. So he checks under Drake Mallard as the elevator pops up from the clouds again and here comes Satan because Drake broke the Sam Rule From Hell of course. Satan and the Angel Guard blow each other off as Satan calls him a bad egg where angel guard calls him a crime fighter.

Drake uses the halo spot which is a sign that Drake has shifty beady eyes and Satan calls him out on that one. Drake is PISSED as Disney Captions calls the angel Pete. Shouldn't it be Peter? I don't believe the bible is copyrighted. Oh never mind; Disney Captions calls him Peter on the next line. More blow offs from the angel and the fallen angels which goes pretty much like this: He's evil. He's good. I say return him to earth because he sucks and my vote counts more than those two losers anyway since I'm STILL ALIVE and is OLD ENOUGH to vote. Satan offers to flip for it and tries to flip his trick coin and Drake grabs it angry because he's dead. Oh; and I thought it was because the coin was a trick coin. Peter tells Drake that he's dead and Drake blows it off because he never felt better. Yeah; because committing unintentional suicide makes you feel better. Good message to tell the guys who INTEND to commit coward! Drake runs to the elevator and gets off some dead puns to continue with the dead jokes. Drake escapes inside without any further incident. Now I know that someone is waiting for me to reference every death reference just to see if it would beat TaleSpin's record of 17 death references but it doesn't work anymore since every show since Gummi Bears has death references in them and the fun of doing it is gone...

Scene changer and we go into the streets of Saint Canard as Drake's spirit pops out of the Scooby Doo Snow Angel spot that I hate so much and somehow his spirit is still somewhat solid. Bad logic break there guys as Drake calls out for Launchpad; but he is long gone by now. Drake tries to ask a passerby who looks like a rich old man but he no sells and walks away. He calls him a snob and then Drake goes inside his own house and is ready to sit down on the blue sofa which seems to changing colors with each episode. And he still managed to do it without falling down. So he makes another dead joke because he is really dead. Yeah; I'm DYING listening to this stuff. And right on cue here comes Launchpad and Gosalyn crying their eyes out wearing furneal suits and dresses which proves that Drake is dead. Drake asks them what is wrong and they completely ignore him because he's a ghost see. They sit on the sofa and Drake asks them what is wrong and they continue to cry and sob because Drake is dead you see. Funny how Gosalyn says gone here and she was allowed to say die with her grandfather. Shows you how much she cared about him. Drake protests this because he's RIGHT HERE.

That might be true Drake; except that thou art DEAD. LP proclaims that he can hear him and Drake jumps onto the coffee table and yells at them for ignoring his voice. Gosalyn dries her tears and proclaims that she thinks that she can hear him. Drake blows them off with an another unintentional death joke and that's enough for Gosalyn and LP to become frightened and they hide behind the sofa. Gosalyn pops up as Drake proclaims that he's here. Gosalyn is so happy that she tries to hug him but goes right through ghost Drake and takes a MAN-SIZED bump into the wall which she gleefully no sells. Drake ponders that something is not right here and LP tells him that he is an undertaker. Drake blows him off because he's not dead and Gosalyn answers that question as she cannot even touch him. Drake does admit that no one listened to him which Gosalyn states that it's a sign that they truly cared about him despite all his powers of burying...which explains why Satan is after him at least. Drake wonders where he going to get his answers and Drake proclaims that he will see Morgana for answers. Except that LP and Gosalyn could simply tell him that he is dead; but dragging it out for Drake to get pissed off is so funny so let it get dragged out for another two minutes or so.

So we head to Morgana'S house as the thunder storms are clapping as the babyfaces and Morgana exchange notes inside her office...ERRR..magic room. Gosalyn asks if Morgana can revive him and Morgana does have a spell to reincarnate him which is a very grave matter since it's DW's grave see. This is just too funny and I do a better job finishing the rant rather than trying to explain the jokes here. Besides; why spoil the timing? Morgana snaps her fingers and here comes the idol with the magic book. Sadly; since Sunwoo is not animating this episode, the classic joke is dead in the water too. Morgana flips the pages and finds the spell and the book glows as she casts the spell which allows a white puff of smoke to consume Drake and it turns him into a carnation. HAHA! Drake is not too happy on that spot as Morgana's SPELLS OF SATAN backfire once again. Morgana puffs him back into himself which shows that the spell has backfired. Gosalyn asks her about bringing him back from the dead. Drake blows it off and tries to storm out because he's NOT dead see.

However; Morgana was about to watch Opal Windbag (because that what this episode needs since one of them is DEAD) as Drake goes into the room where the television is and this edition involves Opal and Sparky talking about super villains killing super heroes. Drake blows it off and proclaims that he's dead and that he gets booked on a talk show. Sadly; Sparky didn't murder Drake at all; Drake did it to himself. However; I'm guessing Sparky lied to get the spotlight being put on him. Not a good message to send but I don't care since this is COMEDY BABY! Drake then blows himself off because he's not dead see. Drake then decides to prove it once and for all that he's not dead by defeating Sparky. Oooookay; Drake. So we head to the lighthouse (Sparky's home away from home) as Sparky is on the telephone getting a movie deal of course because he murdered Drake for real. At least that what he thinks and sezs anyway. And; the white smoke puffs on the pan shot and we get the DREADED VOICEOVER OF DOOM at 10:35....

Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the ghost of a chance that you didn't have!

Now that is a real comment that shouldn't be a real comment BABEE! Sparky completely ignores him because he doesn't care and therefore cannot hear him. Plus; he's on the telephone as Sparky gets off a kill reference on the deal as Drake tries all of his lame KARATE MOVES OF DOOM; but they have zero effect because he's DEAD BABEE! Sparky blows off Disney apparently because he's going to Warner Brothers; but trademarks prevent Sparky from saying Warner. Drake is tired as he grabs his ghost Zorro hat which looks a lot less gay now that he's dead. Drake is angry now; but the DEAD TOUCH OF DEATH touches Drake and Drake is forced to turn around because the Grim Reaper is here to take Drake's soul. He opens the door which shows the room of light and death and Death points to it to end the segment 11 minutes in....

After the commercial break; we see Drake stammering as he is face to face with Death itself. Death sells as such and points to the door. Drake decides to give up and walks towards the door which leads to an outdoor lake. HUH?! Bad form there guys as Drake grabs the door and offers Death to go first. Now you would have thought that Death wouldn't sell that; but he does and Drake slams the door behind him calling him a sap. He still doesn't believe that he is dead. Damn; even in this cartoon, Death is more stupid than Drake. Drake tries to escape; but Death appears out of nowhere to stop him. Not stupid enough it seems as he shakes his head. Drake goes through the door anyway and it really wasn't the door. Nice going guys. We proceed to the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE GHOST DOCKS EDITION~! Since that is too boring even for the writers; the scene changer beckons and in comes Drake inside his house. At least in theory. Drake thinks he's lost them and of course he accepts the knock on the door which shows clearly that Death hasn't lost him.

What a bad move that was Drake Mallard?! Drake slams the door and gets in some more funny death references and then an even funnier Drake is next house down in a funny voice. Death actually sells and goes to the door of the Muddlefoots' house as Herb answers it. He proclaims to Binky that the gardener is here and Death grabs Herb and drags him down the street as Drake ponders the morality of his actions. Drake then decides to go outside and shows himself behind a tree which allows Death to release Herb. Finally; Drake realizes that Herb's role is to be funny at his expense and thus is needed on this show. Unlike Meg Griffin who could be written out and Family Guy would actually improve. Not by much mind you; but still. We play hide and seek for a while before Drake bails and heads back to either Drake's house or Morgana's depending on what Drake said to Morgana as he pulls the blinds down. He doesn't know how long he can keep this up as Morgana goes to her spellbook while Gosalyn badgers her to cure his deadness so Megavolt can be stopped as she shows LP the newspaper showing a picture of Sparky.

See ; Sparky is going to a mall to sign his new book which is entitled: Doing Away With Superheroes For Fun & Profit. Why do I get the feeling the PRESS OF FRAUD has a PR relationship problem with Drake all this time? LP cares more about Morgana finally finds a spell in her book and tells Drake to stand behind her. She invokes the PIXIE DUST OF SATAN which allows the whole house to make a scene complete with darkness, windbags and thunderstorms. Everyone is scared because it's making a scene for Death to arrive. And the dramatic sequence doesn't work because Drake is still a ghost. Or in reality it actually works as Gosalyn starts tap dancing and her shoes go flying off her feet and they walk away. Gosalyn blows that one off. Drake then starts accepting his face thanking Morgana for everything and walks away as Launchpad calls him depressed even for a dead guy.

Ah; Launchpad the bastion of compassion. NOT! LP pets Gosalyn on the head and goes to check on him. I know; but the Gidget Pet Shop Joke is as dead as Drake now. Gosalyn is angry now and she's not going to let Sparky get away with murder (her words, not mine sort of) which is yet another murder for the series. Rebecca has started something here for sure. Gosalyn walks away with the newspaper to search for Sparky and probably for her shoes too. We now head to the graveyard as Drake and Launchpad exchange notes and death jokes. Drake gets the first morbid of DTVA I should note as he walks over his grave and notices that only one person placed a photograph onto a pink cone. Drake then goes into a whine session that is just so bad that it is funny. What did you expect? You are basically a police state guy. You proved that in Time & Punishment. You expect the babyfaces to show sympathy for you? Drake wonders if hiring a press agent would have helped that. Considering how much you bury people; I don't think that is a wise prospect. Scene changer and we head to the set of Opal Windbag (Opera as a rooster wearing brown hair, the stereotypical red lips which would be edited in anime dubs and a green dress with white thunder bolts on it) as Opal walks down the stairs and asks if his life changed since he murdered Drake.

Sadly; we never get to see Sparky's face as we cut back to LP watching on the sofa as Sparky answers the question because he's well known now. He makes tons of money and written a best selling book. See; this proves that outside of Saint Canard; no one is stupid enough to LIKE DARKWING...DUCK! We cut to the television and see Sparky sitting on a yellow chair on stage showing his book which has an explosive cover to say the least. Drake comes in moping as usual and LP stammers and decides to change the channel because Drake doesn't need to watch this. Sadly for him; Gosalyn is heard as he calls out Sparky for MURDER and I say YAY because Sparky should be in jail. Nice to see Gosalyn point out the obvious logic break here which shows just how stupid Saint Canard REALLY is. Gosalyn grabs the mike from Miss Windbag because she's a citizen see. I see Gosalyn found her shoes now and she goes over and steals Sparky's book and demands that everyone get a refund. Fat chance Gos! I WANT TO READ THAT BOOK! Because Sparky finally buried that freak of nature and trust me; Sparky is a true heroes to million who actually have the brain cells to think.

Sparky grabs Gosalyn and blows her off as he is about to MURDER Gosalyn in Sparky's Crime Of The Week. How can you NOT LOVE THIS GUY?! He, Quacky and Karnagy (Don Karnage for all of you out there) would make an excellent team. Drake proclaims that he will save Gosalyn by cracking another dead joke and storms off. Scene changer and we head to the lighthouse as Gosalyn is tied up against a pole as Sparky welcomes everyone to Megavolt Live complete with TV Camera while cutting the best heel promo I have heard in a long time as ghost Drake appears in front of Gosalyn and she shouts out his name. Sparky panics and hides behind the green chair; but then reappears and goes back to the camera calling it a cheap stall tactic. HA! Sparky goes through Drake as he blows off Drake because he's dead. And here comes Launchpad to save Gosalyn with anger and the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH. Boy; Gosalyn feels so safe now..NOT!!

Sparky gets out his ray gun and that logically leads to Launchpad and Gosalyn tied up to the pole. Sparky calls this twice the victims; twice the excitement. And it proves the police are still REALLY STUPID. Drake goes over to untie them; but here comes the ICY FINGERS OF DEATH to grab Drake's ghost. And Death speaks for the first time and it is godly as expected from Death. He is voiced by Tony Jay; in an actual proper role. Drake blows Death off because it has to wait. Drake tries to uncape himself; but the neck gets in the way and he's screwed as he tries to run; but no dice. Death is in deadpan mode (which is classic Tony Jay for anyone who seen TaleSpin) as he drops into the floor and Drake struggles like a maniac; but no dice as he goes into the floor to end the segment sixteen and a half minutes in....

After the commercial break; we head back into the clouds as Death continues to literally drag Drake to his certain doom while Drake continues to plead with him. Death no sells the bribe and whines about his own feelings. See; no one likes him which shows how stupid Peter Griffin is. No matter how bad Drake is; Peter is a trillion times worse. Drake continues his plea bargaining skills and gives him a deal; he does something Death cannot do and he gets one more hour to save Gosalyn. Death thinks this is a joke; but decides to play because he's an expert in everything. So Drake offers him to do the finger fluttering spot he used to outsmart Sparky. Umm; Death, I think he's got you on that one so you shouldn't try it. And of course he calls it simple and tries it; but fails.

Ah; the disadvantages of having a bone hand. He is forced to break his hands entirely; much to the disgust of Drake. Drake calls himself the winner (I think) and floats up into the sky as Death accepts the defeat. However; he has one hour to save his family which translates into about three minutes give or take. Drake floats back into the lighthouse right in front of the tied up babyfaces. Sadly; Drake is still a ghost; so he cannot untie them. However; LP can apparently. Actually; Gosalyn just has to pull her arms up and that should do the trick. We pan over to Sparky continuing his show so to speak as he zaps the remote control and his inventions come to true including the vacuum cleaner. Now this episode is really dead...and it really sucks. HAHA!

Ron Sparks: It sucks and dies more than Sean Desmond.

Drake give instructions to LP to move his arms and LP screws that up of course as Gosalyn uses her feet to keep the eating gadgets at bay. Sparky continues to grandstand as he twists the knob and it's the vacuum cleaner coming to life. The ropes are untied as LP asks for more instructions and Drake tells him to act like a hero. Okay; this should be fun. LP jumps over, calls it all over while for Sparky clearing his throat and then calls him Dim Bulb. HAHA! What a gas that was?! For those who don't know; Dim Bulb was Megavolt's prototype name when the show was in planning mode around 1989 or so. Just like Shere Khan was supposed to be an original character called Mr. Downs. Sparky blows him off because it wasn't in the script. Unless you are a fanboy; you wouldn't know that they were breaking the fourth wall on that spot. Drake swoops over as the biting gadgets decides to stop biting at Gosalyn shoes (because they stink see) and go over to LP.

LP grabs the cord and smashes the electric razor against the brick wall good. OUCH! Sparky is steamed because this is live television and LP is ruining him. Drake tells LP to cut him usual full of himself promo and LP does that and than ad-libs the Hollywood black balling promo which pisses Drake off. Oh snap Drake! Drake tells him to tell Sparky to surrender and raise your right hand which LP says to him which really gets Drake annoyed. You were better off having Gosalyn do this; because LP is finally getting his heat back. Drake has of course no heat because he's dead see. LP raises his hand and Sparky whizs over to the vacuum cleaner and sics it onto Gosalyn. Drake tells LP that life is precious and LP repeats that line while clearing his throat and stammering as usual. Sparky is confused as that allow Gosalyn to struggle and Sparky to be distracted. More talking from Drake to LP and LP tells Sparky that he's would be lonely and unhappy if he MURDERS Gosalyn. Sparky just becomes confused and sits down on a stool as LP cuts a promo about respect which is actually quite convincing...for about three seconds as Drake tells LP to MURDER him and LP sells as he ties up Sparky with his wire cord to the chair as Sparky protests this lack of kindness and respect. Drake then tells LP that they need to return to Morgana's before the time is up of course.

So we return to Morgana's house and Morgana is the bearer of bad news. She cannot bring Drake from the dead and Drake is screwed forever. Oh; I just know the writers are going to find a way to screw this up as Death returns complete with the clock striking midnight of course. There will be no more stalling as Drake asks him for one more minute to say goodbye and Death gives it to despite questioning his ability to go soft. We get the goodbyes from everyone which I know that it is going to be pointless because status quo Disney demands it. Although they really do their best to make this convincing which is saying a lot so kudos for trying though. It just doesn't work for this ranter since pathos work better in a dramatic series like TaleSpin was and TaleSpin pretty much assured that Disney couldn't do it again without anyone referencing this series.

Maybe that's why they downplayed the series all those years. Death and Drake finally take that march of death as the Undertaker music is playing and Launchpad bawls about how brave Drake is to resign to his fate. And we head outside to the front lawn and of course Drake starts pleading for mercy because he doesn't want to die. I knew he was just a big pussy and we all know that he's going to live in the end.....he screams that he'll never wear a helmet ever again and then we all find out it was only a bad dream as Drake is in bed with bandages on his head. Because Disney would NEVER let someone die for real right?! As much as I hate to admit it; that was the only logical way that this episode was going to end without screwing it up. Drake even promises to wear one in bed until he realizes that he is alive and well.

Drake cannot believe this because he really was dead; but he doesn't care anymore because he's alive. He then does the Scrooge spots from A Christmas Carol the Disney Edition (sort of) as Gosalyn and Launchpad just stand there looking at confused as I am. Maybe he was better off dead if you know what I mean. He trips over the rug; get burned by the oven while making a cake and I'm just laughing over how this guy gets a near death experience and feels like he is alive. Me? I would just be breathing a sigh of relief and move on with my life. And the flaming oven reveals Satan asking for the correct time in a spot that simply makes no sense at all. Geez; a CDS logic break, what a shock?! Drake closes the oven and is scared as a bunny rabbit which ends the episode and volume 2 at 21:11. What a way to end this volume as this episode just DIED...In a good way. **** ¾ ( 95%)


After three straight volumes were I was depressed after seeing a bad episode; this episode was a breath of fresh death so to speak. It was pretty much what I expected. Other than Gosalyn's really gone line; I was impressed that Disney allowed so many references and jokes about death. Of course; BS&P still wouldn't allow Drake to die for real; just dream that he is dead. On the other hand; status quo Disney wouldn't allow allow Drake to die for long so putting him in a dream that he was dead was the only way that this episode was going to make sense. Of course nowadays; if you want to live then you would do the Peter Griffin spot: If you say it; it will come true no matter how much contradiction there is to it. The dead jokes were funny once you knew what they were and everyone was acting awesome in this one. One CDS logic break at the end prevented the full episode marks; but everything was on including the WD-Japan animation. This was truly an enjoyable experience and it is a good way to end volume two of Darkwing Duck which hasn't been that great overall. It seems that the great episodes are really great and when it gets bad it stinks badly judging by the two negative star episodes I gave and nearly had four had it not been for Sparky, NegaDuck and Gizmo Duck. And of course the middling episodes were middling with some entertaining crap despite a total mess from the animators and writers logic wise.

Well; that is all for Darkwing Duck until Volume 3 is announced and released. This volume did improve in the thumbs area with 15 thumbs up, four down and eight in the middle for a grand total of 28 thumbs up, 10 thumbs down and 16 thumbs in the middle. On the other hand; the four thumbs down included two negative star episodes so this volume really wasn't much better than the first one. Again I proclaim: For all those people who thought TaleSpin was contrived and forced; Darkwing Duck is MUCH WORSE in that department and yet they bow down to Drake Mallard anyway as the better animated series. Doesn't that prove that Cartoon Duck Syndrome is real? Thankfully; I didn't get infected with it and I can rant on these episodes by merit. The fact that I took two months away just to get away from Drake should paint a much different picture of this series as a whole. For all the smoke and mirrors Drake puts on; he just cannot be funny when the episode's quality control demands it. As I said before; this series is the reason Goof Troop sucks: because they tried to insert Drake's humor into that series and it backfired big time basically assuring that DTVA would go to hell for a while until Gargoyles and to a certain extent Aladdin and Little Mermaid saved it. Which of course created another problem which was creativity. However; that is for another time. So....

Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all when Volume 3 is released. Hopefully; we will get Quiverwing Quack and Splatter Phoenix in the next volume. Oh; and don't forget Binky as a safety superhero too.


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