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Inside Binkie's Brain
Drake Is Going To Need Protection From Binkie After This One...
Yeah; all of my rants and I spelled Binkie wrong. So welcome kiddies to the Youtube rants of DARKWING...DUCK! The full of himself mallard is back to make me suffer in a hilarious fashion. It's the COMEDY BABEE of Cartoon Duck Syndrome and the beginning of the end of DTVA as we would know it from 1985-1991. So I have 37 episodes left to rant on which should be finished up before December. Sadly; there will be no more mocking of Kennedy Cartoons anymore because someone on Toonzone got so pissed off by it; and there are no more episodes featuring Kennedy Cartoons as the overseas studios. So let's start getting the comedy ball rolling with a Binkie focused episode. Oh goody! It's not only fitting that this cartoon was the first one I ranted on after TaleSpin to be the last one I am going to finish; but I start out with probably my favorite episode of all time in this show: Binkie as a superhero. AWESOME! So how does it measure up? So; let's rant on shall we...
The episode is written by Doug Langdale and story edited by Kevin Crosby Hopps. The animation is done by Wang Films.
We begin this one inside the CITY OF SAINT CANARD as there are pink lasers and a giant green blob monster laughing badly. Probably the same stock monster that infected Quack Pack too; which shows why Darkwing Duck is a poor role model for children and animation writers the world over. He calls himself Doctor Slug and he is using a immunization needle which is big ass. Oh dear; we have problems here as Darkwing and Launchpad have their backs to the wall literally. Oh wait; Doctor Slug is using a buzz saw as it comes close to the heroes as Slug claims that he is going to rule the world. So Drake decides to invoke the second most devastating move in all of DTVA: the LEGAL HAND OF GOD. And it works. Sign of a jobber monster for life: Always falls for the second most devastating move in all of DTVA. So wait; he puts up a blinder with the background of the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and then reads fan mail. So Doctor Slug was a phony. WHAT THE HELL?! Great; Drake is already burying this episode and Binkie hasn't gotten a chance to do anything yet. Nice going you poor excuse for a children's role model. Drake is actually reading his own fan mail and Launchpad notices it right away. Yes; he's so full of himself that he has to write his own fan mail. I shake my head and move on as Drake claims that there is a point to this as he proclaims that he has a tale to share about becoming a hero which deals with a house wife superhero. Which we call a soccer mom today. So yes; this is another Nightmare Of The Living Spud/Beauty & The Beet flashback. Well; they are one for two in that department.
So we do the FLASHBACK OF DOOM as we head to the backyard of the Muddlefoot near the wood shed which sadly will never be used to take Tank there if you catch my train of thought here. Anyhow; Binkie (who is voiced by Susan Tolsky who did Mrs. Mossiery in Sheepskin Deep months before.) is using the lawn mower while Herb (Jim Cummings) is using the WEED MURDERER OF DEATH in front of the back of the house. With Darkwing Duck; there tends to be more stupid puns and capitalization involved so it will look like a mess believe me. He has a table with a fan, a television set which doesn't work and he's using his electric razor to trim the grass too. HAHA! Sadly; his surge protector was clearly sold at the dollar store because it bursts into flames and all the wires and technology burns to ashes. Wonderful indeed Herb, just keep believing that. Herb hops around on one foot yelling fire as Binkie goes to the wheel near the house and screws it to allow the sprinkler system to run while...Wait; let's try that again and this time: GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER! Binkie would be a lot softer when she said the same thing. Binkie goes to the water screw-on wheel and twists it to allow the water sprinkler system to run while scolding softly to Herb about overloading the cords because it's Safety First~! And after being in Safe Communities; who can possibility argue. Herb hugs his wife and admits that he burned down the house before as the brunt grass is shown in the foreground. Binkie goes over to the woodshed asking where he put all of his stuff and Herb pleads for her not to open it. If you cannot guess what happens next; you have no business reading this rant.
So yeah; Binkie gets crushed under the weight of Herb's junk and Herb's bowling ball rolls down and is about to MURDER Binkie in the head; but the bowling ball stops in mid-air about a foot short of nailing Binkie in the head. WHAT? Oh sod off BS&P! Then we hear the VOICEOVER OF DOOM and we see Drake and Launchpad who have shrunk to the size of a baseball combined on Binkie's beak. Oh great; we have hit all the poison banes and we are barely two minutes into this thing. Drake interrupts this moment (despite the fact that we know Disney isn't going to allow a female to get murdered in the head by a bowling ball) so he can screw the fans..ERRR...I mean explain what makes Binkie's brain tick which is of the non-superhero type. So we segue to Drake pulling the metal rope on the lights to turn them on as we are in a clean room with a purple mat on the floor and two green love seats. To our right; I discover that the two circle windows are in fact, Binkie's eyes so they are literally inside Binkie's brain. She's has a clean freak mind and it shows. Launchpad was expecting something more squishy. I club BS&P! Drake explains that the brain is a lot different than most people think it is. In Disney BS&P; yes Drake it is. So Drake opens the door leading to the emotion anger and gets MURDERED by the big ass wooden mallet. HAHA! Launchpad unpops him from the mallet and Drake is angry. Drake then goes to the left door talking about the senses which should be tough for Drake because he has no senses; most of all shame. So he opens the door and a big ass horn blows him off literally. HAHA! See; Binkie secretly hates Drake Mallard. At least I hope she does. Launchpad asks what is behind the second right door and Drake goes over and calls it the most important door of them all. He opens it and we see a cage with a small knight on horseback as Drake calls this the "little hero everyone has". There's projection and then there's DARKWING...DUCK projection. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BLAM! HEE HEE! Missed again Drake. YOU ARE NOT...POW! OUCH! Ummmm...
Drake proclaims that he knows what Launchpad is going to ask which is what happens when the bowling ball hits Binkie and Launchpad replies that he wants lunch. HAHA! Drake is not amused; but screw him, Launchpad needs to eat at some point in his lifetime. And LP is forced to recoil, lest Drake buries him like a bully on Honker. And so we return outside of Binkie's brain as we zoom in on the bowling ball in order to let it MURDER Binkie off-screen with a MAN-SIZED bump. It was a sick off-screen bump; but I club you know who. We quickly return to inside Binkie's brain as Drake and Launchpad stagger around like two WCW Powerplant wrestlers as the cage opens enough for the hero lancer on horseback to jump out. Drake panics and wants LP to run away as the hero is on the loose. Yes; we are supposed to be afraid of someone who is only 1/4 your size even in shrunk mode. Drake is such a coward which is fitting considering how full of himself he is. Launchpad blows him off and he takes the big ass golden spear right in the ass and runs away with Drake. Well; you cannot fault the tiny knight for having a cute voice and a golden lancer. So we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE TINY KNIGHT EDITION to waste some time. Binkie is out cold as she slowly wakes up and sees Herb crying over her as Herb is regretting stuffing the wood shed with his stuff.
So Binkie manages to hear Herb proclaim that he'll live by the motto of safety first and Binkie rises from the grave and is now in the sunlight in a neat spot and proclaims that she must safety proof the city. Then she kisses Herb on the cheek about three or four times before walking off stage right. Okay; NOW this is starting to get good after the BS start. Herb asks about a late dinner; but a cymbal strikes and it's Drake in the foreground. GO THE F AWAY DARKWING...DUCK!! You are ruining the buzz this episode should be getting. Drake explains that most safety freaks join a safety group or write a newsletter. Sadly; Drake didn't mention: become a politician in there. Binkie's little hero has made her very astute as she is filling potholes (with cookie dough I should point out) as we get the VOICEOVER OF DOOM during this as Binkie is cleaning traffic lights while hanging upside down from the metal wires attached to the lights. Yeah; it would be more awesome if Drake would just SHUT THE HELL UP! She also cleans up with the vacuum cleaner as apparently; tripping on garbage is worse than poisoning the ground with polluted trash. She also sucks up a pink poodle (BONUS!) and now you know this episode really sucks. HAHA!
Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Shaun Desmond.
That by the way was one of the first running gags I used and it started with this show with Ammonia Pine. And we will be seeing her again soon. The female bird at the bench panics over losing her poodle and Binkie blows her off for not obeying the leash laws. HAHA! Safety first indeed. So we segue to a jewelry store. I know this because there is a diamond sign and a broken glass window to indicate that a robbery has been taking place. We head inside as a glasses wearing duck with a red coat and brown hair is scared and offers to open the display case so that the robber can steal the jewels. However; the robber is Megavolt, aka Sparky who just wants the display lights as he unscrews light bulb in an attempt to liberate the light bulbs of this world. If there was anything more absurd that the ALF; this is it. Megavolt places the bulbs on the floor and tells them to run to freedom and the bulbs no sell him. HAHA! Just like the ALF; only the bulbs do not have any signs of life. So Sparky pleads and gets no dice so he assumes that they are weaken by slavery and places the bulbs in a large sack and wants to nurse them back to health. Sadly; Drake still will not shut the hell up as they sneak up on Sparky behind the counter of the jewelry store and Drake jumps in without an entrance. That is just sad folks. So Sparky counters by pulling the Zorro hat over Drake's eyes and runs stage left. HA!
So we head outside on the sidewalk as Binkie is still literally cleaning up Saint Canard's litter problem with a vacuum cleaner and she even sucks up two punk kids on the rebound. HAHA! So Sparky opens the door in front of her and Sparky runs off. Binkie proclaims that someone could run into it as she slams the door shut and the animation was clearly BS&P'ed because the bump Drake took into the door was wussy and they also have Wang screw up the spot by having Launchpad make contact before he hits the glass and then run an extra three steps and then hit the glass for real. The door slides open and Drake stops selling and goes over to Binkie to blow her off and bury her not in that order really. Binkie is absolutely clueless; and really can you really blame her? Behold the power of Wang Films as Jewelry store is spelled Tewelry Store. Heh. Drake blows her off and Binkie sezs your welcome. Drake is stuttering like mad. HAHA! Drake blames her for allowing Sparky to escape basically claiming that she committed obstruction of justice. Drake pleads for her to leave crime fighting to the full of himself mallard and the problem with this is; Binkie wasn't crime fighting; she was safety proofing the city. Big difference there Drake. And shouldn't Drake be saying that AFTER the day is saved? Binkie calls it a lovely idea and she exits stage right and returns as she has her new outfit made from safety tubes, goggles, white helmet and white boots. HAHA! Drake just created a monster...A safety monster. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! She is now called the Carnardian Guardian: Champion Of Safety. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Drake and Launchpad have zero clue how to respond to that and I'm happier than seeing 3DS XL being announced. She runs off to smash hazards as Drake flings his hat off in disgust. Oh boo hoo hoo Drake Mallard. You sound like a corporate bastard to me. Launchpad is repulsed by this; but only because Binkie's fashion sense makes no sense at all. HAHA! Drake smacks his beak and is flustered.
So we go to the scene changer (a slow Wuzzles clock scene changer no less) as we head to an apartment building as we get the dreaded voiceover of doom again. SHUT THE HELL UP DRAKE MALLARD! Binkie is on top of the building and she free falls and then she steal's the go-go gadget umbrella spot (with a black umbrella) as she floats down to street level and sees a hazard as someone is working on construction and there is a hole in the street. So Binkie takes the conveniently placed manhole cover and slams it into the hole basically nailing the popping up worker on the head with it. I never thought safety first would be so oxymoronic; but after seeing the after effects of concussions, the irony is even more stark than ever before. And we get the philac symbol on the head of the worker as Binkie blows him off for not wearing a helmet. HAHA! Then Binkie turns around and runs into traffic off-screen and you can bet that she is not playing in it as we get crash noises off-screen as Binkie picks up a nail and proclaims that someone could have gotten a flat tire and walks off as we zoom out we have a 200 car pileup and broken everything else. HAHA! So we get the star scene changer (okay; that was different at least) as we head to the movie theater as Megavolt wheels in a wagon like device with a wooden step ladder as he is going to free the light bulbs from the horror of the MPAA. Okay; this is NOT how to do a blackout on the internet Sparky. I realize that this episode aired in 1991/1992; but still. Sparky unscrews light bulbs and puts them into the sack and then we get the DREADED VOICEOVER OF DOOM and black smoke (speaking of bad for your health, movie rating and any animal that is not a duck...) at 7:46...
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the burnt out bulb that you cannot reach.
Boy; you know Drake is pissed off when the smoke actually causes coughing from the heel and Drake appears on top of the wooden ladder. I guess Sparky got down before the smoke appeared. Drake appears with the cape as Sparky climbs the ladder with the TINGLE TOUCH OF DEATH (yeah; whatever) as they get on top of the ladder and since there is no spotter to keep the ladder down; the wagon forces the ladder to move with it. See the yellow ladder I use at Reboot. Except it has a lever (WRONG LEVER!) to put the brakes on the wheels. So Binkie gets in front of it and uses her ass to bump the ladder backwards as Drake and Megavolt sway. Why did this happen? Because Binkie was picking up a banana peel claiming that someone would have slipped. HAHA! Sadly; it would have been even funnier had I not watched Mythbusters and discovered that banana peels are not very slippery if at all. So Sparky blows her off as a goody two shoes (close enough) which would have funnier if Drake was wearing shoes to begin with. So the wagon runs onto the train tracks which signals that we are nearing the commercial break now. The wagon goes into the tunnel; but somehow; Sparky and Drake splat into the sides of the tunnel despite being in the middle of the tracks. Logic break #3 for the episode as they both slide down and Sparky blows off Binkie as we get death reference #2 (first was dead meat duck and he claimed that Binkie almost killed him.). Sparky then blows off Drake for not doing his job as Drake dusts himself off. Drake admits that he tried to stop her before and then catches himself and invokes the pointy finger of death on Sparky because he's the real villain see. Yeap; Drake is still full of himself; what a surprise. I'm amazed that we have gone almost nine minutes without him doing something really stupid. Oh wait; he's on the tracks as Drake blows him off and then here comes the train to smash Drake Mallard in the ultimate symbolic form of projection. HAHA! Yeap; he is still REALLY STUPID.
Drake is fine though as Sparky blows him off and then gets sparked up and wants to MURDER Binkie legit. Ooooooo...Scene changer and we head to the streets as Binkie continues to safety proof the city by cleaning it up with the SHANE DOUGLAS MOP OF DOOM. Sadly; thanks to Ric Flair pissing away his legacy in TNA (he has since been fired; which sounds like mercy at this point.); Shane Douglas has a legit shot of trumping the broomstick for a change. She mops the street as the footprints lead into the tower building and she goes to the top floor and outside the cabin door as there is no more oil stains on the ground. The door closes and it's Sparky with rope and he ties her up mocking her for falling for the old grease trick. Binkie struggles as she cuts an awesomely clueless promo as she is the Carnardian Guardian: Champion Of Safety. Sparky climbs up a transmission tower and ties her to the top of the tower and is about to MURDER her with the Tingle Touch of Death; but then sees a red light bulb and cannot resist his attempt to save the light bulbs like an cartoony environmentalist trying to save the whales. He unscrews the big ass red bulb and climbs down as Binkie gleefully calls her Mr. Volt which means she has a lot more respect for villains then Drake does. HEE HEE! She's burying Drake Mallard and I love it! Binkie claims that it's not safe to do that because planes cannot see what is going on and Sparky doesn't give a damn. And here comes the Thunder Quack out of nowhere as Sparky doesn't have to kill her anymore and bails to the roof door while saying goodbye to her. So we get more dreaded voice overs from Drake as we see Drake and Launchpad in the Thunderquack as Drake is about to get hurt. And yes; he considered himself the most important thing around. What a shocker. LP and Drake panic as they see the transmission tower to end the segment exactly 11 minutes in. Again; this episode would be great if Drake would just shut up and let the story speak for itself...
After the commercial break; we see Binkie tied to the tower as the Thunderquack heads straight towards her with terrible eyes from Drake and Launchpad and...DAMN YOU DRAKE MALLARD! Stop interrupting the episode please. Drake runs in and he has shrunken again; well except for his ego and burying powers. Those are getting bigger actually. Drake talks about a villains' brain and LP comes in panicking about the story getting off death reference #3 (second kill of the episode) and Drake is not amused. That's your problem Drake. You didn't have to interrupt the F'N story. Drake points down in the spot which means Launchpad has to join the Kiss My Ass club in Wrestling For Dollars now. No, not really; it's to allow Drake to jump off LP's back and pulls down the blinder showing Megavolt against a white background. Then we get the logic break of doom just to advance the story that no one gives a crap about as the top of Sparky's head opens and the goofs with attitude plop in. Yeah; this is logic break #4 for the episode as we head inside as Drake and Launchpad are sitting in electric chairs. HAHA! Both babyfaces bounce away as Drake goes to the door on the left side proclaiming that every villain has a little hero in them too. He opens the door and we got nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS...Oh wait; darkness and crickets singing, never mind. Drake decides to look harder as we go to door #2 and we still have no little hero. So Launchpad is near the boarded up door; which completely telegraphs the whole thing and makes Drake look REALLY STUPID.
That leads to Drake using a crowbar and he spins around and unboards the door. And people are suddenly surprised when Warner Brothers mocks DTVA and most of all; a show created by Tad Stones?! We walk in and there is a cuckoo clock. Geez; sure Drake imply that Sparky is mentally ill. And thankfully; the plank that brings out when the clock strikes an hour comes out and whacks Drake into the wall and he makes a hole in the wall. Sorry; Joey Styles is unavailable at this time, and Sparky's heeldom doesn't involve fixing walls. And yes; the little hero is tied up on the plank screaming help me. So Drake is wounded and decides to continue the story before any more screw jobs are done on him. Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge! So we continue on as we continue with the voice over of doom (sigh) as Drake claims that he had that brilliant way to prevent Binkie from being splattered onto the landscape. His plan: Act like Scooby Doo to Launchpad's Shaggy. Seriously. So the Thunder Quack whacks against the side of the tower below Binkie as Binkie continues to blow off the safety of this tower. Somehow that whack was enough to make the tower freefall down the building. Wait; so he only nailed one side and it was still enough? Either that is a Toon Disney edit; or logic break #5 for the episode. So the Thunderquack goes in and uses the mouth to shoot an anchor grappling hook and grabs the tower and then with a lot of effort flings it into the air. Sadly; LP miscalculated and the tower smashes into the top of the Thunderquack and does the bump WITH CHEESE AND BACON as Binkie is perfectly fine hanging around on the tower. HA! Drake climbs out and now he's PISSED. Binkie blows him off because she's the Carnardian Guardian and she is going to stop Sparky. Launchpad is liking this; but Binkie wants him to stop using the rope he used to tie up Binkie which she pulls away easily because the rope is unsafe. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is so great and Drake's reaction was priceless. She was playing with Sparky and Drake's mind all along. HAHA!
Binkie climbs down and takes the rope and puts it into the trash bucket as Drake blows her off for taking on Sparky herself; and Binkie decides to agree to let Drake be her sidekick. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't you just love it when Drake's burying powers come back to bite him on the ass. Herb should be bonking Binkie on the head with that bowling ball more often. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Drake's reaction is...you guessed it. Launchpad tries to walk off because a sidekick has to be quick and Drake pulls LP's scarf and he is in that mode where Jim Cummings voice cracks. So this is where R.J. Williams got his voice acting lessons from. Drake yells that he is playing along to prevent Binkie from killing herself; but he's NOT HER SIDEKICK. Hey dumbass; you can sod off, be her sidekick and LIKE IT! LP is buried in his clothes as we have cymbals and...DAMMIT Drake! Go the hell away! The shrunken dumbass hero and goofy fatalism sidekick are on LP as Drake demands answers to this outrage. We discover that it was Launchpad's turn and we must look at a sidekick's brain. Okay; it cannot be any worse than when Drake does it I guess. The shrunken babyfaces open the eye goggle and plop inside as everything is off-screen as it's empty and there is an echo. We open the mouth to see Drake proclaiming that they will continue the story while looking for LP's little hero and we get some crashing noises and bumps as LP proclaims that Drake should watch his step because there are some screws loose. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.
So we scene change to a sky shot of Saint Carnard as we head to the BAD PART OF TOWN and it's broken down more than Mick Foley in 2012! Sadly; Drake still will not shut the hell up. And Sparky is stealing light bulbs from lamp posts. And there is no brutality (BS&P RULEZ strikes again!) as Sparky climbs down a lamp pole with his light bulb friends and kisses them. He puts them in the back of a truck as he states that they will no longer being slaving over a hot socket. Oooookkkkaaaayyy; that sort of makes sense. Sparky climbs into his orange truck. So here comes the Rat Catcher as Drake still is the one to drive the thing with Binkie in Launchpad's seat and Launchpad behind Drake. Hmmm; I see Binkie does know how to compromise. So Binkie pops up near the window about five seconds after the Ratcatcher whiz by the truck and calls Sparky out as Mr. Volt. Sparky asks why not and Binkie proclaims that Sparky isn't going anywhere because he didn't buckle his seat belts. Binkie gives him two choice: He buckles up or she buckles up. Sparky loves those odds and takes the third option: mocking Binkie for having DARKWING...DUCK as her sidekick. HAHA! So Sparky drives off as Drake acts like a manchild; but then here comes the BASTARD DOGS WITH CLUBS as they back the babyfaces to the wall. I'm proven wrong again as there will be brutality. HEE HEE! Drake proclaims that this is why he hates the bad part of town. NO?! REALLY?! Drake shakes like a leaf to end the segment sixteen minutes in.
After the commercial break; we continue with the bastard dogs laughing at Drake, so Drake shoves everyone aside because he is going to let them kick his ass...ERR..I mean kick the dogs asses. So Drake goes into the camera with the lead grip webfoot action kick of doom and off-screen he gets his ass kicked. HAHA! So Drake comes back tied up in places he didn't know have places and dares Binkie to do a better job. So Binkie goes over to the grey bear in black with a 2X4 and a chain as he twirls the chain. And Binkie just blows him off as she grabs the chain and cluelessly twirls it and it nails the heels good. So much so that the bear bails stage left; trips and falls into an off-screen bump. HAHA! Binkie tells him that his shoes are untied; even though he is clearly not wearing any. This joke would have been funnier if he tripped over a shoe lace as Drake hops around while Binkie cleans up the bad part of town. So Drake goes over and asks her how to untie a knot...and DAMMIT, go away Drake. No care gives a crap about you. Stop interrupting the episode. You weren't nearly as bad at this in Beauty & The Beet; nor Nightmare of the Living Spud combined. Drake blows off Binkie again as Launchpad suggest checking a real hero's brain. Drake begins to stammer and I smell a good payoff to an otherwise crappy build. Drake doesn't want to make LP look weak which is laughable because LP is used to it and Drake is projecting again. So Drake cuts another full of himself promo and we enter Drake's brain which is a bit messy when he turns on the lamp. Still better than my brain though as Drake proclaims that a cluttered mind is a healthy mind. LP calls that one out and Drake claims that it lots of people say it. Actually; it's only one and he's projecting into many right now. Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge!
So Drake to the left door and opens it up and takes an arrow to the head. HAHA! It's a rubber arrow of course as the little hero on horseback arrives. Launchpad calls him harmless as the little hero has a partner who happens to break up through the wall above the door and it's Drake as a monster which Drake calls his ego. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE EGO CAVE DUCK EDITION to waste time (and allow me to mock Drake Mallard some more.) and we have a nice touch of little hero stalking the hero and sidekick. Heh. They go through the right side door; but Ego Cave Duck (I'm not doing the Captain Caveman yell in good conscience) lifts the wall and goes inside as he beats down on the cocky duck and fatalism sidekick off-screen. HAHA! Living proof that ego does kill. So Drake and Launchpad escape (BOO! HISS!) as Drake decides to finally let this story end as we segue to a power plant that is loaded with electric wires. It's abandoned and the first shot we see is drawn badly by Wang Films. So we see Sparky tying light bulbs to strings of wire as he crackles like a good villain would. Sparky is just loving them like human beings which shows how much of a head screw he really is. We pan west to a cliff while Binkie looking determined as we pan to the bushes and see Launchpad and Drake...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She did to him again! I am so loving her now. Oscar's mom has nothing on Binkie as Drake blows her off for wearing pillow underwear. I am not making this one up. Binkie then blows Drake off and tells him that a young kid like him needs extra protection. OH MY GOD! I cannot handle this anymore. This is almost as bad as Launchpad's Russian Dance from Lost Crown Of Genghis Khan. Seriously.
Drake can barely move as he rolls down the cliff and takes some really good bumps in the process as Binkie proclaims that he would have gotten more hurt without the extra padding. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Binkie; you need your own series. Maybe Super Bunny can be your super agent while they are at it. And yes; Drake blows their cover as usual as Sparky flips....THE SWITCH and all the light bulbs turn on. Sparky claims that this is the liberation of the light bulb. Yeah; this is no allusion to the reality of the ALF at all; no siree. Binkie walks in and blows off Sparky for not having a safety permit. Drake has had enough and runs in as it's time to get dangerous. I think that already happened Drake Mallard; back when Binkie got murdered with the bowling ball. Drake brings out the gas gun and is going to handle Sparky with a simple glue bomb. Binkie runs in and messes up the shot because Drake shouldn't be pointing guns at people.
Memo to BS&P in 1995: She was just kidding, honest she
was. Pay no attention to her.
Binkie: I wasn't Mr. Weagle.
Binkie: Careful with your language there sir; you could create a child who grows up to be a despot dictator.
Gregory: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Drake: CAN WE CONTINUE THIS EPISODE PLEASE?!
Gregory/Binkie: Now he wants to end it after interrupting it time and time again for the last 15 or so minutes!
The glue bomb rises up into the air and then drops on the males and they stick like glue. So Binkie's plan actually worked, sort of. Drake gets on Binkie's case as Binkie claps her hands with glee. So Binkie notices a basement lamp and some wires that are sparking blue and she calls them unsafe. Sadly; if you watched the Toon Disney version you only get to see the off-screen sparks fly as the babyfaces are in shock, and we cut back to Binkie on the ground looking goofy and ash all over her as her little hero backs away back into her cage and apparently; she's back to her normal self. What was cut was Binkie touched the wires and basically shocked herself back to normal. In hindsight; this was a good cut by Toon Disney. Not because someone can easily mimic the stunt; because she was wearing rubber gloves when she touched the wires and thus create an obvious logic break. Binkie waves to Drake and wonders what she is doing here as Launchpad proclaims that she's no help to them anymore. Drake doesn't care anyway because now he's free to get dangerous. Riiiiigggghhhtttt Drake. You are stuck. Sadly; so is Sparky; but he gets the last laugh by stretching as far as he can and pulls the switch which causes the bulb to glow brighter and brighter to the point that we get the dreaded WHITE SCREEN OF DEATH as Launchpad pleads for Drake to do something heroic. Sparky's promo is as insane as he is of course as Binkie walks in and even though she's a coward now; she still finds a way to blow off Drake. She goes over and unplugs the wire and everything turns back to nothing and Sparky is screwed by Binkie. Well; better to be buried by someone who is naive and funny; then one who is full of himself and REALLY STUPID!
Sparky proclaims that the babyfaces always win and snaps back and drops Drake in the process. HAHA! Launchpad praises Binkie for really being a hero like Drake and Drake is flustered and swearing like a G rated sailor. We pan slightly to Sparky as the shrunken Drake and Launchpad enter and wrap up this story and we scene change back to the backyard of the Muddlefoot's house as Herb is on the BBQ doing hamburgers as Binkie enters sounding giddy. What is Wang's obsession of using yellow clouds? Seriously; has there been anytime where you saw a yellow cloud? Anyhow; we get the slow motion Benny Hill embrace and kissing as they are back together and dance around as Herb's back bumps into the wood shed; the door opens and the bowling ball murders Herb's head. Then Herb recovers; spins around, bails and returns dressed like Elvis with Elvis like music while looking like a rejected punk rocker. Oooookkkkkaaaayyyyy. Herb dances with Binkie was we discover that Herb hasn't danced since their first date and that moment didn't have Herb wearing a dress; despite Herb clearly not wearing one. So they dance as the VOICEOVER OF DOOM wraps this up as he stops the dancing (BOO! HISS!) as Drake calls it the case of the dancing dimwit. Yeah sure Drake. So the babyfaces arrive one last time as Drake brings down a black colored version of Saint Carnard as Drake claims that being a hero has nothing to do with costumes and ego; but pure of heart and courage. Drake then gets an ugly closeup of his face as he claims that the costume and ego make it more fun as he flaps his eyelids to end the episode at 21:03 aired. Really fun episode and better than even I remembered; although Binkie really got funny near the finish and Drake's interrupting ruined the pace of the episode because the writers just had to create a payoff which was cute but hurt Binkie's buzz throughout. **** (80%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; our first rant of Darkwing Duck on Youtube is in the books and as expected; I thought it was awesome. Binkie's naiveness, ass kicking and screwing Drake at every turn; including becoming the real hero at the end without the little hero in play was great because she didn't get buried by Drake and Drake was made to look weak which is good because he was usually booked as too strong most of the time. Megavolt was great as the insane light bulb liberator. Plus; I laughed my ass off near the finish with Drake's outfit that is so Oscar Vandersnoot like that it played a part in blowing Drake's cover. Binkie was so damn funny in this one. Sadly; it wasn't a perfect episode as Wang Films didn't look so good in spots, a few logic breaks and I hated Drake interrupting the story so often just to do a segment involving people's brain which had a cute payoff; but a really crappy build. All Drake did with this is hurt the buzz and groove Binkie was getting into; and it also ruined the pacing of the episode as well. I also liked the final sequence; until Drake ruined it by interrupting it again. Yeah; Drake was a pain in this episode. Overall; a great episode that would have been better if they didn't try the Beauty & The Beet approach. So next up is The Haunting Of Mr. Banana Brain. Oh goody; Quackerjack returns along with his sidekick. That should be fun. I think. So....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time!
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