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Slaves To Fashion

Reviewed: 07/31/2012

Like Bea In A Fish Shopping Mall...

All right; another day, another rant and this one involves Tuskerinni again trying to poison people into being slaves to fashion. Can it get any weirder than Drake Mallard suddenly being able to shut up by Morgana when he was turned into her zombie? So; let's rant on shall we...

The episode is written by Gary Sperling and story edited by Tom Minton . Tom started as a storyboard artist for Fabulous Funnies in 1978 and has done mostly the usual cartoons from the 1980's, with the exception of Grunt! The Wrestling Movie in 1985 and The Butter Back Book in 1989. Darkwing Duck is his DTVA debut and has also done episodes for Phineas & Ferb, Raw Toonage, Aladdin The Series and Dave The Barbarian. He has 38 Art Department credits, 18 writer credits, eight other credits, eight producer credits, and one director credit. The animation is done by Walt Disney Animation Japan with additional services done by Atelier Bwca, Studio Jack, Jade and Tama Pro.

We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM in broad daylight for a change as we do a sky shot of a muddy soccer field as Honker, Tank and Gosalyn are playing soccer. Gosalyn is already muddy as she dribbles the soccer ball and Tank tries to tackle her; but she dodges easily. Tank falls into the mud and then threatens to crunch Honker in net. Honker misses by a mile; and Gosalyn scores an easy goal. Gosalyn claims that Honker was no match for her as Tank blows off Honker for not being able to stop a girl. Gosalyn semi-defends Honker telling him if he could do better; which is pointless because Gosalyn pretty much already demonstrated that Tank couldn't stop her either. I do love Gosalyn calling Tank Muddlefoot Tank Top because he is wearing one. HAHA! So Tank calls Honker a wimp and wipes mud all over his front before Honker bails stage right. Nope; Tank is not a bully at all; no siree. Pay no attention to the sexist writer behind the curtain. So we get the free kick as Tank is now playing goalie and Gosalyn odds of scoring are slightly lower than with Honker; which means pretty close to 1:1 without getting there. Gosalyn kicks the ball and Tank does manage to block it with his chest; but it's in the net anyway because Tank goes flying through the back of the net and does some on-screen bumps on the mud. OW! Well; he did stop it; albeit about three inches into the net. Honker blows it off claiming Gosalyn cheated and then makes excuses about his inability to keep the ball out of the net. Gosalyn is so not buying this crap as we head to Drake's house and Drake is having zero clue how to put a bicycle together. HAHA! Funny how he claims that a super computer could only figure it out and he uses them. The handle drops on Drake's foot and he grabs the _Fat Foot_. HAHA!

So Drake then invokes the CLOUDDUST OF DEATH and he creates a bicycle version of Mr. Potato Head. Drake calls it different as Binkie comes over and calls it boyish. Oh lord; does this sound really bad 21 years later. I mean we already have Gosalyn in the rigid gender role as a tomboy and having it come out of Binkie just sounds really mean-spirited and hurts her heat. She wants Gosalyn to be more lady like and have feminine values. Now there is nothing wrong with feminine values; but it puts Gosalyn into a much more rigid gender role than she already is. Yeah; I'm reading too much into this; let's move on and see if this episode is any fun. Binkie discuss a dance for a benefit charity for the kids and she suggests that this would round off some of the edges of Gosalyn. Okay; so she's trying to make Gosalyn more well rounded. I cannot blame her for that; so she got her heat back. Drake is ticked off because he's her father (of heart and not blood; but nothing wrong with either actually.); but here comes muddy Gosalyn and Honker just to make Drake look bad. Although Drake does a great job in that himself. Gosalyn is giddy to win a soccer trophy as Tank crawls in and Binkie tells him not to track mud on the carpet. Drake changes his mind after Gosalyn claimed that no bones are broken as Binkie is so giddy as she tells Gosalyn that she is going to be taught manners and be a lady. Gosalyn is in shock and 21 years of hindsight and studies on gender have me on Gosalyn's side. It's sad to see Binkie act this way; she usually is enlightened and dense, but she comes off as rigid and forceful here.

So we head into Drake's house as we are seeing Gosalyn with Drake sitting on the blue chair reading a newspaper. Drake has our back to us as Gosalyn calls this a joke and Drake doesn't call it as such as he drags Gosalyn upstairs for no reason and then we open the door to Gosalyn's room and it's actually only half messy this time. Drake asks if this is a girl's room. Okay; now we are really getting stupid here because a lot of ladies also mess up their room and most do not have OCD. I realize that it's 1991, but this kind of social engineering is going to bite everyone involved in this episode in the ass in the long run. Drake pretty much states that Gosalyn is going to be a lady and that's final. So we head to the mall with skateboarders in the background and it's animated very well for a change. Binkie is giddy as Drake comes in doing the Baloo blind packages spot as we go into the clothing store with Gosalyn and Binkie. Gosalyn is doing the Gruffi pose and really can you blame her? We see a female usher who looks like the sister of Webwa Walters telling Drake to leave the packages out of the store and Drake drops them all the floor in relief. So we head inside the store with Binkie as Gosalyn looked pissed off for obvious reasons. It is the "I hate gender roles" type of pissed off. Webwa's sister returns to show a pink dress and Drake blows it off as too colorful.

So after about an hour and a three mile pile of clothes on the floor; Webwa's sister shows off a blue dress and Gosalyn blows it off. She does notice something and bail stage left. She returns wearing a black suit and black hat with studs. That actually makes her more lady like than the dress; so if we are going to force her into something more rigid, then we might as well be original about it. Drake pops out of the dress carnage and calls her a heavy metal gun moll. Oh come on Drake Mallard. She only looks like a tough guy in that outfit; only she's smarter than they are. She runs to the mirror to admire herself and she needs something else. So she bails and returns with green shades and gold chains thus becoming a Misters T. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STOMP! OUCH! Ummmm..Now I know the meaning of Gosalyn's "Eat Sneaker" now. Drake panics and proclaims that he'll pick something out. So we scene change to Drake beaming like the jerk that he is and we see Gosalyn wearing the pink dress with pink pumps. In other words; the first dress Webwa Walters sister showed. Yeah. Gosalyn is to no one's surprised, looking pissed off. Webwa Walter's sister looks like a nervous wreck and Drake only makes it more obvious when he tells her this was the one she should have picked out first. What a jackass this Drake fellow is? Just because she's your daughter doesn't mean you should make Webwa Walter's sister look like she is in need of going for psychological care.

So we head out of the store as Gosalyn blows this dress off and Drake tells her to get use to it because RIDGID GENDER ROLES RULEZ~! Then we see a brainwashed dog fully dressed driving a banana yellow cart and bumping into Drake causing all the gifts to topple onto the back of the go cart. He leaves and Drake is really not happy to see that. Okay; I now see the point of Drake having those gift boxes now. So Drake almost blows his cover as Darkwing Duck which is really pointless since Binkie doesn't seen to care. Drake bails stage left because he's going to get mall security which is codeword for Mr. Vaino himself. So we return to the dog riding on the cart and man; the background is TERRIBLE here. When you compare most of Ducktales to Darkwing Duck with this spot; you can see the obvious difference in favor of Ducktales. Almost no detail here. So we get the smoke and voice over at 5:40...

Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the meter on the cab of justice.

And the dog drive runs him over flatter than my sex life. HAHA! Serves him right because he is flapping his gums in the day; not night. The three skateboard dogs (which look like PJ rejects) giggle at Drake's expense as Drake steals...ERRR...I mean borrows one of the green skateboard and we chase for a while (with the RECYCLED BACKGROUND OF DEATH; only this one is mirrored) and the dog cab goes into the elevator while Drake slams into the elevator door while being full of himself. Drake wobbles with skateboard in hand into the conveniently opened left elevator and we go up and Drake skateboards out; collides with the conveniently placed female manequin and dives over the rail and splashes down into the fountain. HAHA! The purple hat skateboarder gets his board back as he gleefully answers Drake's landing in the fountain as the manequin unintentionally does the back stroke to amuse me. Drake is not amused at all and so we scene change to outside the mall (which still looks like a hotel entrance) as the dog driver drives out into the streets and gets off kill reference #1 for the episode (back is killing me) and they ride into a large hanger like storage place. We then see two penguins of Tuskerinni gambling on cards as the yellow cart stops right next to them and brainwashed dog tells them that he has the good. Out comes Tuskerinni (sans hat) as he tells the brainwashed dog that he did an excellent job. He also tell him to change clothes as Tusker shows him a caveman outfit which one of the penguins sprayed with green smoke. Remember that for later as the dog goes behind the cart and changes into a caveman. It's amazing to me how six years of BS&P can change spots. In A Gummi By Any Other Name; we see Cubbi strip naked right in front of us before dropping into mud. In Vowel Play and Gruel & Unusual Punishment; we see Baloo strip (one intentionally, one not) and yet everyone in Darkwing Duck seems to keep the stripping behind objects so we cannot see them.

So the cave dog with club walks in (ah; he even remembered to put a bone in his hair, how cute!) and then runs around, honks the horn on the cab and then bails stage left. Tuskerinni changes into his cape and realizes that his Hypno Gas works (I guess he used it twice on the "Taxi Driver" because he was a zombie to Tusker long before he sprayed it twice). See; it works due to the fact that the gas is sprayed on clothes and it seeps into your body causing you to become a slave to Tuskerinni. Basically; a slave to fashion as per the episode title. And based on the clothes you wear; you do spots related to that movie role. Tuskerinni calls himself the greatest living movie director. You can also add "most rigid living movie director" ever. So we return to either Drake or Binkie's dining room as we are having tea time and table manners. You know what; My Fair Baloo did a better job than this because Kit was trying to get Baloo ready for a dance with Rebecca on the Spruce Moose. He wasn't trying to change Baloo forever; it was to do Rebecca a small favor for her. Here, it's clear Binkie's doing it to change Gosalyn into something she doesn't like or doesn't want. Binkie just keeps confusing her and Gosalyn is not amused by this. Then Honker comes in and apparently he finds a rule book of etiquette with thousands of DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!). Binkie is giddy as we scene change to Binkie with the book proclaiming that Gosalyn can study this on her free time. She proclaims that she'll be the most refined lady at the ball. Also known as the most rigid lady at the ball. So step two is to carrying herself as she puts a book on Gosalyn's head and tells her to walk around without the book flying around. Gosalyn easily does this as we see the soccer ball (which at least they showed it; but it still doesn't explain why it wasn't there before the scene change.) and she balances it and then kicks it through the white doors and it's an easy goal. Yeah; that worked out really well Binkie. NOT!

Binkie comments on her posture being good and then we scene change to Launchpad snoring on the couch. We are in the living room as Binkie wants to practice proper introductions to Gosalyn which only serves to piss her off. Binkie wakes up Launchpad harshly which in my view contradicts the law of being "lady like". Binkie wants LP to go outside and knock on the door. LP sells and he yawn as he goes outside. Binkie wants Gosalyn to introduce Launchpad to her. Gosalyn puts out that he already knows her and Binkie pinches her on the cheek and tells her to pretend that they never met. I think LP is too sleepy to pretend Binkie. We get a knock on the door and Gosalyn opens the door with Launchpad saying hi. Launchpad just walks in and sleeps on the couch. Gosalyn calls it easy and she looked like a classy person on it too. Binkie is not happy as she goes over to Launchpad and tells him not to enter until he is introduced by Gosalyn. LP sells it and we try again as we scene change to Binkie and Gosalyn at the door as we get the knock on the door and Gosalyn opens the door. Drake comes down and blows off Launchpad for knocking and Launchpad just walks in and sleeps on the couch again. HAHA! Even Binkie realizes that Gosalyn didn't screw her; so she'll continue the lesson tomorrow when Launchpad isn't so sleepy. Well; that's a good idea I guess.

So we head to a zoom in of a school (I think) as we go to the receptionist desk and see a white haired female dognose with a green dress and golden pearls (on the closeup; far away they look white) standing behind the desk and here comes Tuskerinni asking about the school dance. The penguins are dressed in prop top hats and shirts. If they were going for the Ducktales nephews rib; they almost got it right. Just remove the props from the hats and it should work almost perfectly. Tuskerinni does a really B-level acting job stating that he'll rent out his costumes to the children for a huge discount because he loves children and took his three penguins in as kids. He also has tears in his eyes too as he is moved. The receptionist proclaims that she is grateful that there are still people out there like that; even if THIS one is dishonest beyond belief. The penguins slap skin and Tuskerinni ushers them out and acts all classy in his goodbye. We go outside and Tuskerinni changes into his normal dressage which is kind of useless because the receptionist would have brought Tuskerinni regardless of what he was dressing like and Drake would have figured it out that it's Tusker regardless of what he was dressing like anyway. Tusker proclaims that they will spray Hypno Gas on everyone and the children will all act like zombies (and he refers to rich children; which makes little sense since the ball is for children who seems to be from middle class people who are hardly rich. Must be some rib I'm not getting.) and give them their money and jewels. It'll be the perfect blend of art and crime according to Tuskerinni which should be all you need to know about art in general and why people prefer amusement over art. This ends the segment 11 minutes in. Hard to watch at times; but fine so far. I still think the whole "lady-like" scheme is a bit insulting in hindsight; but then again they are basically redoing My Fair Baloo; only it's more absurd...

After the commercial break; we return to the dressing room as the receptionist is being dressed in a gown from the Victorian era; lots of wigs, flowing dress and a lot of white. I like white and light colors so I cannot complain as Tuskerinni thinks she's beautiful. The penguins are all doing the dress and as expected she doesn't suspect a thing since Tuskerinni is wearing his normal clothes here. Anyhow; we see Webwa Walter's sister (economy of characters strike again) in a pink dress as she wants more jewels. The receptionist wants to use her best jewels and diamonds. I'm having a hard time believing that this school is for rich people since they look all middle class to me. Then a male pig in a tuxedo and his beloved enter and they want gold with their costume. Tuskerinni is giddy and calls this a classic which means that it will die before the show is over. Nice way to spoil the ending; but it was expected even without that line. So we scene change to Drake's house as Honker is wearing a blue tuxedo and is pacing around. Launchpad tells him not to worry about it as Honker hasn't been on a date or a dance before. Launchpad turns around as Drake hopes that Gosalyn can at least not screw this up much and then Launchpad whistles as we see Binkie introduce Gosalyn who is wearing the pink dress, shoes and she has a hairstyle that looks like the Dairy Queen topping. No wonder Gosalyn looks more pissed off than before. Anyhow; Drake gets all melodramatic and even tears come from his eyes as I just shake my head in disbelief. Binkie asks about the costume Drake is going to wear and Drake stammers like an idiot. Binkie explains that the ball is where the children dress semi-formal (only semi-formal? Then why did you try to bash the lady-like rule through Gosalyn's skull throughout this?) while the others dress in costumes. Launchpad asks how he is going to dress...

...and we scene change as Drake is now DARKWING...DUCK. He calls for Launchpad to come down dressed as an air ace. He didn't dress up as Binkie loves the costumes allowing Drake to stammer like an idiot as usual. HAHA! So we head outside AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we see Herb Muddlefoot (You think the writers would forget about him hmmm?) in his Hawaiian purple shirt and green skirt. Tank is dressed like Tank and you know what; they should have just made this episode a Tank focused episode where Drake and Binkie try to refine Tank into someone who doesn't bully others. It has a moral message that is gender neutral; builds up Tank's character and it won't piss people off in 2012. I don't know why they didn't use Tank for this because he needs a focus episode and it's not like Honker doesn't get a couple under his belt later on. Herb claims that Drake is no DARKWING...DUCK. I guess Herb thinks that Darkwing is taller and Drake is not full of himself. Well; he isn't in public Herb, just private; compared to Darkwing who his full of himself in public. Out comes Gosalyn and Launchpad and Herb is impressed with Gosalyn's new look. Tank taunts her to play soccer in that and apparently; we have a jump cut (aka Toon Disney edit) as we quickly cut to Gosalyn and then we scene change to the school as the receptionist arrives from her car and there are spotlights and car about. We then head to the gym as everyone is there including the skateboard kids and everyone is wearing their normal gear. Wait; this is semi-formal?!

So we cut to Tusker (with his black shades with green lens) and his penguins as Tusker tells penguins to execute the plan as the penguins are dressed in scuba gear. See; the Hypno Gas is in the scuba tanks and therefore no one would suspect a thing. Penguin #1 tests the nozzle and sprays white smoke near Tuskerinni which Tusker blows him off for. I thought the gas was green?! Never mind; as Tusker recoils and wants him to roll film as we see Gosalyn being around three boys in suits and ties and being very formal as they try to give Gosalyn a box of chocolates. One of them (the one with the green suit) looks like a teenage Kit with red hair. Drake comes in and calls them out for not being gentlemen and the boys gleefully counter that response for me. So Drake threatens to teach them some manners allowing Gosalyn to come in and blow Drake off for acting like a jerk. Gosalyn claims that she is enjoying herself and wants to dance with all three boys causing the teenage Kit face to float into the air with hearts proving that he is no Kit Cloudkicker. Thank goodness for that too. Gosalyn's acting shows that she is playing with them because she doesn't really want to dance. Now the problem with this is; Gosalyn is actually showing some real class; even if it's basically low. She'll have no problem being the most refined lady of this ball; she has no competition that cares about refinement. And considering how half of this ball is a costume party; Gosalyn is basically being semi-formal and in a Halloween costume (because Gosalyn doesn't want to be in a dress see). Drake calls out Gosalyn for that and Gosalyn gleefully counters that one for me and walks out as Drake stammers like an idiot. HAHA! IN YOUR FACE DRAKE MALLARD! And remember; Drake is supposed to not like the Muddlefoots so he's hosed on hypocrisy on top of that.

So we go to the receptionist near a table filled with a jar of money as an army duck in army gear (well it IS a costume party although he better make sure this isn't a political event. The U.S. government hates that.) putting money into the jar. The receptionist is pleased as we see another army guy (dark brown dognose I believe) walk and then get sprayed by one of the penguins and then turn around and walk into the opposite direction. Then we cut back to Tusker as now he is on stage with the spotlight on him. Okay; why did he lose his disguise all of a sudden? He's ready to get all of his actors on stage as we scene change to the stage as a native dognose with jewelry is dancing around with the fruit salad hat and is having a good time and then gets turned into a zombie as the penguins spray her with the Hypno Gas and we play music; but the klanging of the necklace is causing problems so Tusker asks to hold her jewelry. She sells; gives the jewelry to Tusker who puts it into the sack. Tusker is playing the bongos in case you didn't notice as he proclaims that this is going according to the script. We cut to Launchpad as Penguin #3 sprays LP and turns him into a flying pilot. He sits down in the chair and role plays like Kit Cloudkicker. Finally; a good use for that spray! Launchpad falls out of the seat and crashes. HAHA! It stills begs the question of why we lost that sense of fatalism in this show; when it was monster over in Ducktales.

Anyhow; we cut back to the table with the punch bowl as Gosalyn is trading notes with the three boys. I'm amazed that Gosalyn is somehow taking all of this well. Then again; she has no competition to be lady like since there are no girls her age to compete against her. Yet. We discover that Honker magically appears out of nowhere as the penguins spray the kids with the Hypno Gas and Gosalyn turns into a lady. Now there's a symbol of the social construct of rigid gender roles in a nutshell. We also discover from Honker that Gosalyn want brought a snake to school and stuffed in one of her teachers; which Gosalyn blows off as she is entitled to some secrets. I don't think it matters if you are a lady; that is one event I'm sure Gosalyn would like to forget; and it's mostly due to the aftermath of said incident. So we cut to the birds playing various instruments on the stage and then we cut to a pan shot of all the zombified babyfaces dancing a storm. Except for Drake Mallard who is hiding behind a doorway and claims that his senses are quacking up a storm. Oh great; now he's stooping to Ducktales puns. Drake noticed it because Launchpad was driving on air the whole time. Drake salutes a soldier and then goes over to Launchpad in his chair as he crashes again. HAHA! Oh and Tank is now wearing the same grass skirt and wearing no shirt. Why? I have no idea as he's dancing with the other Muddlefoots. So we cut to Drake being stalked by the three penguins as they spray Drake and he no sells it. UGH! Oh wait; Drake is so full of himself that it deflected the damage as he gets the LIGHT BULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and looks around to see Tuskerinni steal the jar from the receptionist and the receptionist still sells because she wasn't sprayed. Yet. So Drake catches Tuskerinni with his hand in the cookie jar and Tuskerinni thinks he's an extra.

Drake blows that off as we see the penguins spray a 350 pound football player (a duck) who apparently got Larson & Gary's 12 Steps To A Stronger You Without Getting Caught In A Drug Test. Also known as Human Growth Hormone. Drake demands that Tusker hand over the jar and Tusker blows him off and the black shirt senior from Saint Carnard University (SCU) MURDERS Drake with a football blitz so nasty that you might as well cremate Drake and sprinkle the ashes all over the Disney Afternoon's grave. Or maybe not. So Tuskerinni calls this a wrap as he and the penguins bail while Drake (and his mask is gone too for no reason) is wrestling with the football player. So Tuskerinni goes to the poisoned army guy and wants him to MURDER Drake. He then goes over to the native dancer and tells her that Drake is her dance partner and she must dance with Drake even if he doesn't want to. So the dancer heads stage left as the army guy sets up a bunker filled with guns and explosives. We then go over to Tusker and the cave person as Tusker MURDERS the poor guy with a club and then Tuskerinni points that Drake nailed him and the cave person sells it and runs stage left. Oh; swell, I just realized the major league no-no in the bunker spot. You won't be seeing that one again in future Disney shows. Unless it is with fake weapons. So we cut to the door as Tuskerinni and his penguin set up the camera and Tuskerinni acts dramatic like Drake acts full of himself. Tusker proclaims that unhappy endings do make money because he made lots of money as we see Drake dancing with the native dancer as the army guy in his bunker is about to pull the trigger on his machine gun and we even get to see the finger on the trigger; something that was edited out in Bringing Down Babyface. This ends the segment almost eighteen minutes in. And people are suddenly surprised when I say TaleSpin was downplayed?

After the commercial break; we see Drake dancing to his doom as the army guy takes his rifle and starts the crawl. WHAT THE HELL? So what was the point of teasing us with the machine gun? This better be a Toon Disney edit; because if it isn't; that is a really stupid logic break. So we get more dancing as Drake flings her off-screen stage right; then dodges the football player; then calls for Launchpad who drives on air stage left and then gets the army guy's rifle and flings him into the perfect position to get MURDERED by the cave person's club. I hope you got all that too. Drake gets behind the football player and calls a football play. The football guy blitzes past the boys and Gosalyn as Drake goes over to Gosalyn and wants her to leave because it's too dangerous. Gosalyn acts like a lady and proclaims that she wants to thank the hostess for this event because she had a wonderful time. Drake then tears off her dress and she's back to normal as Drake deduces that the spray affects the dress and so Drake goes over to Launchpad and takes off his goggle hat and somehow he's back to normal which makes no sense since the smoke should still be on the other clothes and therefore it shouldn't have worked. Launchpad of course asks Drake if he's normal. Launchpad ponders that question as Drake asks the receptionist where she got her dress and she tells him she got it as a rental from Tuskerinni in the warehouse district.

Drake realizes that this is Tuskerinni and we head into the skies above the city in the Thunder Quack and LP's still under the influence. Logic break is popped out of the episode! Launchpad claims that he's normal and then he crashes in the back parking lot of the warehouse. HAHA! The TQ is trashed of course as the GANG OF GAG climb out and head to the place that sezs Warehouse (Ah; the problems with time crunches) as Drake tells Gosalyn to stay put and there are no buts about it because it could be dangerous. LP and Drake walk in as Gosalyn is not amused. We then cut to Tuskerinni behind a soap box being filmed by the penguins with the jar of that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Tuskerinni grand stands as Drake notices the propane tank of Hypno Gas near the costume racks and then goes over to Tuskerinni to deliver a taste of his own medicine and make Tusker suck gas. He opens the valve; and only a bit of smoke comes out and then the tank explodes for no reason whatsoever. Another Toon Disney cut? Another logic break? Who know; because gas doesn't explode like that unless it's impact or open flame. And the white smoke changes green and the explosion affects Drake, LP and Tusker as we have the marriage that almost happened in Feminine Air only with Drake as the groom and Tusker as the bride. Launchpad is the justice of the peace. I see someone watched that TaleSpin episode and paid off the joke. Good for them. So Launchpad asks if anyone rejects this marriage to speak now and Gosalyn runs in and drags Drake out as Tusker bawls like a baby. Then we scene change as Drake is dressed like a pirate for no reason and Tusker looks like a fat ass version of a fencer like that dramatic scene in Gundam Wing. Why is the front of shirt of Tusker having a red heart is something I don't want to think about at the moment.

So we fence for a while to waste time as Gosalyn tells them to run each other through. Good luck of that happening Gosalyn; Kit's look to the camera in Plunder and Lightning pretty much killed any hope of that happening. Then we have a western dance with proper period clothing as the costume racks filled with costumes get used of course. Memo to Gosalyn: Take Drake's clothes off for goodness sakes. Launchpad is doing karate with the penguins which would be perfect if Launchpad wasn't wearing his pilot boots during the scene. He falls under the American Ninja type of judo. The penguins shove LP and he back trips over Penguin #3 and bounces off-screen stage right. Then we play doctor and patient with Tuskerinni and Drake. Take one guess who is the patient. Even Tuskerinni knows that Drake as an international object equals funny. Gosalyn pushes Drake to avoid the dreaded knife and crashes into the costumes again as Drake emerges dressed up like a female surgeon with red lips. Okay; this joke is now dead as a doornail now; and it's time to mercy kill it. Oh wait; good luck with that because DUCKZ RULEZ~! So Tusker runs into the costume rack and we have the golfing spot. Sadly; we still have more than a minute to go as all the adults minus Gosalyn are in golf gear and want to play through. Then Gosalyn brings in a female manequin dressed up as Darkwing Duck as she does a silly voice over of doom at 20:55...

Gosalyn: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the sandtrap on the fairway of evil.

Well; no one can accuse Gosalyn of not knowing how to cut the voice over promo that much is for sure. And a little leeching off of Drake Mallard never really hurt Drake; except his feelings. Gosalyn calls out Drake to come forward and orders Drake to put on the cape, and then the suit and threatens to do something to him if he disobey; but Drake is back to normal. Wait; he put the clothes on while still wearing the golf gear so it shouldn't have worked. And again; the hat was only removed; but the clothes were still on. UGH! What a stupid finish this is?! Drake blows Gosalyn off and wants to talk to her later; calling her young lady. Gosalyn doesn't seem to mind that because Drake is mad now and he cuffs Tuskerinni easily without much fuss. Drake proclaims that Tuskerinni can practice golf in prison as Drake does his full of himself promo to wrap stuff up. Gosalyn goes ahem on Drake and Drake embraces Gosalyn and calls it family. So we return to the front of Drake's house as he still cannot get the bicycle right. HAHA! Binkie arrives and doesn't remember the dance; nor saw Gosalyn dance. Drake calls it a mystery to be sure as Gosalyn roller blades in with her hockey gear and helmet (the same one from the pilot I do believe) as she skates over while Binkie asks if she is the perfect little lady. Gosalyn takes the bicycle and does the perfection whirlwind spot to fix the bicycle and then just roller blades off stage left. Drake calls her perfect in every way and that ends the episode at 21:13. Okay; this episode was just okay with some logic break; but man it has not aged well at all. If this was done today; Tank Muddlefoot would have been the one made into the refined one. Which would have been a better choice I might add. This is like My Fair Baloo in that the first half of the episode was "stupid in hindsight" refined angle with a more sexist, genderist taint to it; but the second half, while not flawless by any means (more so the finish), was enjoyable when they focused on Tuskerinni's attempts to steal money. Call it ** 1/2 (50%).


Boy; sleeping in does not help me enjoy this one much at all. Anyhow; Slaves To Fashion had a neat idea, but required two story plots to get the episode over like in My Fair Baloo; only My Fair Baloo was more enjoyable simply because it wasn't about changing Baloo's gender role like it was with Gosalyn. While in 1991; few would have batted an eye; it was because the studies for the negative effects of gender roles wasn't well known nor accepted until much later. Again; the first half of this episode was all about the refinement angle which if was just that and not an attempt to change Gosalyn's character into something she is not; then it would have been about as good as My Fair Baloo; which is so-so because it feels tacked on. The second half was also like My Fair Baloo in that the real story took over and the whole Tusker using clothes to turn people into money giving zombies was in fact a really good one and I enjoyed most of it. It was clear that the refinement angle was not working well because Gosalyn started to act normal and not pissed off during that dance. However; this was not as good as My Fair Baloo because the finish was pretty lame since the logic of the gas was wonky. They sprayed the clothes or the explosion (that made no sense either) of gas on the clothes got on the clothes completely; but when only the hat is removed, they return to normal. Or worse; they put the suit over the clothes which makes it worse in logic speak. And the sequence leading up to Tuskerinni was disjointed and mostly gags that didn't catch (except for karate Launchpad). Overall; this episode was average and I'm sure it was better in 1991; but it feels so dated now. Even So Fishicaited focused on just the refinement and not forcing someone into a rigid gender role. By the way; this is Tuskerinni's final appearance and he was fine. I have seen much worse villains than him.

Next week; I'm planning to do five episodes since I have five days off and I need to make up for missing two episodes during my birthday week. They are: Something Fishy (the debut of Neputina), Tiff Of The Titans (The return of Steelbeak, FOWL VS. SHUSH and Gizmo Duck), Calm a Chameleon (Camile's debut which I believe was her only appearance on television; but got a starring role in the Ducktales comic from KABOOM), Battle of the Brainteasers (Honker's first focus episode and not his last) and Bad Tidings (which GeoX completely trashed recently. This one features SHUSH VS. FOWL again). I realize that this is a lot of episodes to rant on; but it would clear out a huge chunk of season one of the ABC episodes for me and make me well on the way to finishing this show in September. Hopefully before Nintendo has their Media Summit around the same time. So....

Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time!


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