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Something Fishy
Reviewed: 08/03/2012
And It's Cartoon Duck Syndrome Rearing It's Ugly Head Again.
Well; well, well. We begin the Natal Weekend Marathon of Doom with an environmental episode. Well; DTVA is 1 for 2 in that department as All's Whale That Ends Whale was good and Aqua Ducks wasn't so much. This is also Neptuna's debut as a tweener type heel. The kind that the writers love to use when writing these Greenpeace type episodes. So how this episode fare? So; let's rant on shall we...
The episode is written by Steve Sustarsic and story edited by Carter Crocker. The animation is done by Sunwoo Animation.
We begin this one on a very empty beach with sand dunes that all a whole lot bigger than any beach in North America. Seriously; they look like small hills. And it's almost empty with litter buried about. The GANG OF GAG appears in their beach gear as LP has a fishing pole and they slide down a sand dune. Drake arrives with stuff that is bigger than his body weight and he cuts a full of himself promo and slips on a green bottle and face plants on the sand. HA! There is a use for litter after all! Anyhow; we cut to a pier which is near a factor spewing more smoke than your average smoker in Canada. Launchpad is sitting on the pier fishing. Launchpad pulls up a steel belted tire which is a keeper as he throws it away stage left and we see Drake lying on the beach on a towel and he gets whacked in the mid-section on screen with the tire. HAHA! Nice selling from Drake; that looked believable for a change. Gosalyn comes in with a load of trash and proclaims that there is so much trash that she cannot see sand. I think Gosalyn is clearly having vision problems because there is lots of sand in this beach even with the trash. She dumps the trash in front of Drake as Drake just had to skirt the issue by referring to Gosalyn's room again. Gosalyn calls her room organized chaos; while this is environmental pollution as we get the pan shot of the beach and factory spewing smoke. Drake thinks Gosalyn is overreacting. So Gosalyn comically over sells it all pulling her hair out in frustration and jumping around. Oh yeah; Drake is so going to buy that she is not overreacting. Drake tries to doze off calling it a little litter. He has a point there. I have seen far worse in unofficial landfills and unofficial city dumps (mainly swamps and fields); but Gosalyn goes ballistic kicking sand into Drake's head. Gosalyn sarcasm is funny; but she gets countered by Drake on the little dictator part. Gosalyn storms off as Drake wipes the sand from his head and tells Gosalyn to do whatever she wants as long as she doesn't dismember anyone.
So we see Gosalyn on the beach with the litter pitch fork and bag as she's a girl of action, patrols the beach, determined to catch any polluters and make then pay. Didn't Drake tell you not to cripple anyone? Unless you want them to pay the $2,500 fine or whatever the fine is for littering in Saint Carnard. So she has the binoculars on as she sees a pig in beach gear lying on a towel eating chicken legs and surrounded by litter and a full trash can. Gosalyn sneaks up somehow despite the fact that she was on the left side of the pig and the can is on the right side. She grabs the can and is going to do the fine ECW style; plus trash. Drake sees her and yells at her as he runs in and grabs the trash can. Spoiled sport! Gosalyn uses the binoculars and sees someone else 300 yards away pissing her off and runs stage left. Drake yells again and the trash can somehow weighs more than he does and gets dumped right onto the pig as apparently that trash can can carry about five times the amount of crap in it. And furthermore; Drake was carrying about the same amount of weight in the first scene of this episode. That's logic break #1 and #2 for the episode barely three minutes in. Yeap; this is going to be a long episode and the pig grabs Drake after coming out of the tomb; Drake stammers like an idiot and the pig teaches him some manner by spearing Drake head first into the sand. HAHA! If only he did it feet first; it would be on par with Drake becoming planted into a plant pot by Bushroot's minions.
Launchpad gleefully explains that one for me as Drake blows him off and demands that they get him out of here. Launchpad grabs him by the ankles and pops him out allowing the dog pile spot as Gosalyn appears to be on bottom for a change. Gosalyn then gets up and proclaims that the kid gloves are off and she wants blood. I'm amazed that Disney got away with this even in 1991; but maybe after watching the last seven or eight DTVA shows, we really shouldn't be surprised. I mean we got pentagrams from Magica, Cubbi stripping naked (and Baloo); a precision F-Strike; many references to god, crosses and references to killing and death. Even one or two actual on-screen deaths no less. All marketed to children I might add. It must be the fact that humans are easy to relate to; because it certainly isn't the content that is making them watch the new Disney that is for sure. Anyhow; Drake blows it off because it's his blood. Drake claims that there are good laws against pollution and Gosalyn doesn't have to go that far. Actually; just tell her the laws and how to draw up arrest warrants. That would be more effective and then Drake takes an ultra sick bump off a red bottle of soda and Drake blows the pig off again because he already apologized. Then the episode begins for real after that "thrilling" opening sequence as three crabs are crabby. I know this because one of them is wearing a general's hat and smoking a pipe. Then we BS&P it as we go for the close up and the pipe is gone and the general crab blows the whistle. So that's why no one takes environmentalists seriously then. Because they are all "crabby". AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummmmm... The crabs throw litter and LP takes Gosalyn and they bail behind a sea of litter. Ummm; I don't know what this is going to accomplish other than moving the trash into one spot. Gosalyn ponders over this as Drake gets bitten by a crab on the hand. I wish it would do it on the beak and make Drake shut up for once. Wet dream; I know.
Then the crab somehow gets on Drake's foot as the other crabs join in for fun. Drake grabs the general crab whose pipe has returned to it's mouth and demands that his thugs release him; or use him for a crab casserole. So the general pinches Drake in the beak. HAHA! Drake dances around as LP points out that an octopus has an attitude problem too as the octopus (he looks awfully familiar) creates a ball of trash and throws it right into the smoke stack of the factory which is on the sand. Pollution problems aside; doesn't building a factory on sand seem awfully impractical and dangerous?! I mean; if a hurricane came in; it would easily destroy it like a house of cards. Drake realizes that the octopus is behind it and bails to his towel which has gained an umbrella since we last saw it. Oh man; do we need magical object out of nowhere again. He hides in the umbrella (which is purple and gold) and then comes out as Darkwing Duck. Or as we call him; Drake Full Of Himself Really Stupid Mallard. Oh great; we even get the voice over of doom at 5:16...
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the smoke that smokes smoked oysters.
Drake is now on the pier and blowing off the octopus as it flees and Drake turns his back as Moby Dimple makes a cameo! LP and Gosalyn panics and calls for Darkwing as Drake blows them off like the vain, full of himself mallard that he is. Moby then eats Drake Mallard! TOTAL MARKUP CITY FOR THAT SPOT! It's negated somewhat by the fact that it doesn't shut Drake up. So Drake off-screen fires the smog missile from his gas gun and Moby sneezes Drake right into the sand like a lawn dart. HAHA! Then we get the shell horn and we see a jagged rock as someone is playing it. Take one guess. Hint: She was in Just Us Justice Ducks that I ranted on years back. Drake struggles to pop his way out of the sand and wants to spend his day off somewhere else. All the sea creatures dive into the sea. Seriously; the whale looks like Moby Dimple without the bright sparkle teeth. Drake decides to cut a full of himself promo about him using expensive technology to solve this case. Drake snaps his fingers and we get the scene changer to Drake's hideout AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) pacing around throwing papers on the ground from the file folder and cuts another full of himself promo admitting that he has no one on file that matches this heel's Mode of Operation or MO. Drake proclaims that no one is going to make a fool out of him; which they already did. Gosalyn thinks this is not a heel they are dealing with; but someone who hates trash and no one got hurt because only the trash was involved. Memo to Gosalyn: Not quite because Drake's feet, beak and feelings are really, really hurt. Psychological violence can be really, really effective when someone has a fragile ego like Drake Mallard. Drake blows it off and LP takes Gosalyn side. Drake proclaims that there are ways to clean up a beach without destroying property. Although considering that someone built a factory on the sandy beach; if the sea creatures didn't destroy it; the floods would. Ooops; did I give away the plot?! Stupid me! WHACK! WHACK!
Drake claims that he's not a sea slug with a horn and he's going to make it pay. Launchpad asks how and Drake wants to check out the Musicians Union (rib perchance?) ; but due to the beach concert (So that is where the litter came from?!) it's not a professional. So Drake decides to meet it on it's own turf and terms. Ooookkkkkaaaayyyy; whatever Drake. So we go to the ocean in a tugboat and we get the voice over of doom with binoculars just to annoy me some more. So a swordfish cuts a hole on the side of the boat which begs the question: Why did Drake invest in a wooden tugboat?! Drake takes the swordfish to task and the swordfish bails and water spews into the hole. Then we finally see Neputina for the first time in the series. At least the writers and execs didn't screw up her debut like they did with NegaDuck. Neptuina is voiced by the same person who did Mary Lamb and Airplane Jane from TaleSpin; Susan Silo. I think we all know where this is going now because this plot line is pretty much the same one they used in Aqua Ducks; only it's on the beach rather than underwater. I will give Neptuina props for defending Moby Dimple as apparently he got a sinus condition; probably from working with Seymour no doubt, and Drake only made it worse. Drake responds by being full of himself and Neptuina just whacks him and Drake falls into the out of nowhere steel anchor. Oh knock it off, Sunwoo! Neputina laughs her ass off; and really can you blame her? Now come to think of it; this episode might have been a direct rib on Captain Planet's cheesy content. Apparently; Drake is more fun than a barrel of sea monkeys. If I was a sea monkey; I would be suing Neputina for defamation of character and non-support.
She tells Drake to back off; or she'll get mad and Drake does not want to see her get mad. Umm; you are talking about Drake full of himself Mallard. Seeing fish get mad turns him on and Drake proves that when he blows off Neputina and grabs her arm because she's going to jail. Or she would if she didn't blow the horn again. Drake; use both hands next time as the starfish come out and stick Drake against the tugboat wall. HAHA! Neptuina climbs on some barrels (PAYOFF!) as she tells Drake to stay out of her F'N way; or she'll F'N kill him. In roundabout terms of course. Neputina blows the horn and dives through the hole in the boat and the starfish spin out of sight as well. Launchpad helps Drake up and Drake wants to go scuba diving because he thinks he got her. Riiiiigggghhhhhhttttttt. So we scene change to under the sea as Drake and Launchpad are scuba diving and Drake cuts another full of himself promo about finding Neputina and Neputina floats up from behind. To Drake: silence is sometimes golden. This is a prime example of it. Neputina gleefully insults Drake and kelp eaters everywhere. So Drake brings out the gas gun to make Neputina suck gas; but the water clogs the gun and he can only produce a pink bubble. You know it's sad when THAT happens. Neputina gives him one more chance to back off and Drake blows her off because he doesn't know the meaning of the word surrender. Neputina blows off Drake's reading skills and blows the horn again and for some reason no detail was given like bubbles and such to make it work. Drake blows off Neputina again and here comes the octopus to poke on Drake's shoulder and Drake blows off LP. LP then sees the octopus and both babyfaces get squeezed by the octopus' tentacles. Drake claims that his gas gun is no good underwater; and it's time for Plan B. LP asks what Plan B is? Memo to LP: Plan B is throwing a temper tantrum to get what you want. Drake proclaims that he has no Plan B in roundabout terms and that ends the segment nearly 11 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we continue with more squeezing the babyfaces with the octopus. Drake complains about his internal organs and Neputina comes in to inform the octopus that she's not done with them yet. So we swim away stage right to Neputina's kingdom. Then we water reflect a scene changer and head inside a hallway as Launchpad and Drake are walking in without helmets and handcuffed. Nice touch to using lobster as the handcuffs as Drake continues to insult Neputina's house design skills. Neputina shoves Drake to force him to at least shut up long enough to walk. Neputina proclaims that she should have put one on his beak to shut him up. It was probably for the best that she didn't. Drake would never shut up; even in death he'll still be cutting full of himself promo. So they get shoved into a cell filled with trash and Drake blows her off for not having any television. Launchpad claims that it's probably for the best since she doesn't get cable. Speaking of cables; nice touch to use electric eels as the bars; and I know this because Drake protests this outrage and touches the eels and gets fried. I called that one thirty seconds before it happened. HAHA! Drake continues to blow off Neputina some more before Neputina goes to her throne and pushes a button as the trash is from the surface dwellers over the years and some more trash from this morning alone is dumped on the babyfaces. So THAT's her plan to humble Drake: Make him a part of a landfill. Yeap; direct rib on Captain Planet. Drake calls her mad (stating the obvious projection eh Drake?) and gets fried again by the eels. See; she's annoyed that people are littering her kingdom with garbage. Drake calls this hostile tactics of burying Drake with garbage counter productive. I think dealing with Captain Planet fans is counter productive along with dealing with Drake Mallard's beak. Above all; she claims she's really pissed off in roundabout terms as she has a story on how she was a fish in the sea.
Drake groans on cue because he hates flashbacks. Yeah; because that is so Batmanish. Never mind Darkwing Duck was supposed to be a rib on Batman to being with. Anyhow; we hit the flashback of doom and see Neputina in her non-anthro years swimming around and then the barrels of toxic liquids nails her. She was naive back then and didn't know any better. Apparently; her swimming skills have vastly improved since she got _under a barrel_. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... She gets trapped in a bubble, rises up and she grows fin legs and fin arms. She's basically the Disney style version of a Fish Hooks character. POW! OUCH! Ummmmmm... We return to reality (no, not really) as Launchpad is sadden by this story. Yeah; it's so...TMNT of them. It's difficult to take this flashback seriously when you have anthro animals as surface dwellers walking around; but this is COMEDY BABEE; what can you do?! Drake continues to blow her off and calls her a fish gone bad. So Kit's a bear cub gone beyond the pale bad that Eisner buried him and his series before it got started. Got it. /conspiracy theory gone bad. Neputina gleefully pushes the button and buries Drake in more trash. You know what; this is better than Aqua Ducks because it's being played for laughs and Neputina has more sympathy as a heel than she does as a babyface. Launchpad offers a peace bargain (well; you cannot fault LP for being diplomatic; but Drake certainly isn't that kind of character to begin with); but no dice is forthcoming. Neputina threatens to flood the city and make it her world and then clean it up. Wait; that sounds awfully counter productive because she wants to prevent other fish from becoming mutants; but water handles a lot of chemicals well and wouldn't that just turn the fish into mutants anyway? Drake goes into melodramatics and it's so awful that we fade to black to turn Michael Eisner on.
So it's morning as we are looking at Saint Carnard from behind a desert island as Neputina swims around like a fish normally would. She blows the horn and out jumps Moby Dimple. You know if they really wanted the fanboys to believe that TaleSpin and Darkwing Duck were in the same world; they would just have Neputina talk about what happened to her ally Moby Dimple during All's Whale That Ends Whale. Moby Dimple pushes the island which had a stand like an apple core and he pushes it towards the city. We then cut back to the electric eels prison cell with Drake and LP. Drake cuts a full of himself promo and then he turns a temper tantrum and kicks garbage around sounding like Tennessee Tuxedo. HA! Don't like wallowing in your own crap DW? Wonder how Neputina feels about it too? Empathy: The most difficult thing in the world to teach in a word of capitalism. And he's really stupid too. Launchpad claims that Neputina has a point and he's trying to see her side of things. We see on top of the trash pile a stinky lead pipe as Drake blows her off for being insane because it's not normal to destroy a city when you are wronged. She's a lunatic see as the lead pipe somehow drops down and whacks Drake in the top of the head. This inspires Drake as he throws the pipe into the eels and they fry themselves into the water. Okay; I can accept that as Drake and Launchpad leave while Drake proclaims that it's time to get dangerous. So we return underwater as the scuba goofs swim as LP questions Drake's sense of direction and he was right as the two swordfish stop then dead in their tracks. Drake proclaims that there is a first time for everything. Sadly; it doesn't include shutting Drake up as we end the segment 16 minutes in. Okay episode in a sense so far...
After the commercial break; LP proclaims that they are in danger and Drake blows it off because danger is his middle name. If so then Drake is really stupid as he takes the hoses and fills the swordfish with air. They blow away like balloons. Sadly; LP and Drake's helmets don't fill up with water. Drake proclaims that they need to stop Neputina now as we go topside with Neputina having a blast as Moby wedges the island between two river banks. We see various shots of Saint Carnard being flooded as everyone goes to higher ground and at least one man rowing in a boat with a fridge. We see Drake going through the top of the roof window of his house and dragging Gosalyn up to the roof as Gosalyn pleads for Drake to at least try to be diplomatic about it; but Drake blows it off because Neputina isn't interested in awards. Well; Drake does have a point there; this IS really counter productive. So we cut to the flooded streets as Drake is using his submarine while doing the voice over of doom. Drake is on periscope with Launchpad driving and Neputina is shown topside blowing her shell horn again. So Drake turns on a tape recorder because he is going to record it and than play it backward to reverse the orders. Riiiiggggghhhhttttt Drake; because gibberish sounds somehow turn orders around. Launchpad screws him unintentionally by playing the sound and the sound plays backwards and does nothing except have Neputina hear it. Neputina claims that Drake doesn't know when to quit. Drake doesn't know when to stop talking either. So we get the "I cannot hear you through the noise" spot for a bit as Drake stops the tape recorder and thinks Neputina didn't hear them. Riiiiggggghhhhtttt. The octopus is now squeezing the sub and Drake and LP go through the mouth and fly out of the water and dive right next to a mountain top.
Drake and Launchpad pop up from the water and notice Neputina on the rock gleefully answering my call about Drake's lack of smart. Dumb indeed! So Neputina grabs a swordfish and Drake struggles to get his from Launchpad. So the episode must continue as we sword fight with swordfish for a while to waste some time and Drake swipes the swordfish from Neputina. WHAT?! How is that possible? I believe one of Neputina's swordfishes' is a traitor methinks. So Neputina goes for the shell horn and Drake invokes the grappling plunger gun and the force of the rope breaks the horn on the rocks. Neputina calls this a kettle of fish as Drake thinks he has won like the full of himself, really stupid duck that he is. Cartoon Duck Syndrome has that effect on characters as Launchpad gleefully states the obvious for saving the city though. So Drake demands that Neputina unplug the island and Neputina no sells. About time someone told Drake where to shove his vanity as Launchpad tries to point out that people are in danger because of this and Neputina no sells that bill of goods. Here's a suggestion: Try to explain to her that her plan to prevent fish mutants is having the opposite effect of what she intended. But; that would be a smart booking decision and Drake is a duck so DUCKZ RULEZ~! Instead; we get the baby with the bathwater analogy which simply sounds more heavy-handed. It's enough for Neputina to finally admit that she went too far. LP wants her to call the whale back; but the horn is broken thanks to the full of himself, really stupid mallard. Drake suggests recording the voice and Neputina calls him a moron with good ideas. Also known as Vince Russo. Drake counters that the recording material is underwater thanks to the octopus squeezing it down.
Neputina tells him to relax as she dives underwater to the sub and enters through the sub's mouth. Then we go off screen to topside as the horn blows and Moby Dimple jumps for joy and jumps over the island into the river and then pushes the island out of the river banks and into the sea as the entire city dries out quickly. Ummm; yeah. That simple indeed; even though the island wedging didn't seem to do all that much damage if any at all actually. So we head to the beach which is completely cleaned out as Drake awkwardly shakes Neputine's hand and thanks her for sparing the city. Gosalyn really gets on Drake's case and then Drake stammers like an idiot and shows her the shell horn and Neputina takes it as she intends to use it next time the anthros get out of line; but hopes there won't be a next time. Launchpad has the litter spike ready and able as Neputina kisses Drake on the cheek and hops into the water stage left. She swims away and Drake spits like mad because he got kissed by a fish. HEE HEE! Gosalyn seemly likes Neputina's style as she wanted to do to the highest skyscraper. Drake proclaims that Gosalyn is missing the point because all problems can be solved in non-destructive ways. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there Drake? And he proves my point as the pig is back eating and littering again. Drake goes over and throws a trashcan over his head and calls him a litterbug to end the episode at 21:07. A little heavy-handed and no real resolution was procured; but the story was fine; although the ending was pretty dumb due to the lack of said resolution. It was mostly Drake getting tormented by Neputina which did make me laugh; but it's been done in better episodes than this one dozens of times before. Still a lot more tolerant than Captain Planet though. Call it *** (60%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; I don't have much to say about this one. It's your typical environmental episode; but played for laughs rather than for drama. Most of it was just fine; although the magical out of nowhere object struck again. Neputina was better as a heel because she does know how to torment Drake Mallard very well. I thought the whole finish and ending was silly because the whole "baby with the bathwater" analogy sometimes works when the other methods do not. Try this with child pornography next time; and see what kind of reaction you get. It won't be pretty. I would have booked this with the fish turning into mutants and pointing out that Neputina's plan has done the opposite of what she intended. This will make her a sad babyface who was desperate to wrong a right and went about it the wrong way and not noticing the consequences of her actions much like the anthros didn't notice the consequences of their actions. And as GeoX noted; the resolution was pretty much only Launchpad shouldering the work. It was nice to see Moby Dimple get some work too. Overall; an average episode and really; this is a good thing considering the material. Next up is Tiff Of The Titans and the return of Steelbeak and GizmoDuck making probably his first appearance officially. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time!