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Inherit The Wimp

Reviewed: 08/19/2012

The Story Of My Life When Ranting On This Series!

Okay; we move along to our next episode up for bids and we have our second episode in as many for the season featuring some time travel thus proving that Darkwing Duck cannot stand in it's own world. Gosalyn is once again the focal point of the episode and this seems like a redo of Whirled History; only a lot more personal. This is also the final appearance of the Liquidator and the debut of the late Roddy McDowall. Will this redo surpass Whirled History? So; let's rant on shall we...

The episode is written by Gordon Bressack and story edited by Tad Stones. The animation is done by Hanho Heung Up Company Limited.

We begin this one in a cloudy sky and then into the clouds to the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we get a cloud to city effect for a while. Then the VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckons and this is not a good sign right off the bat as he cuts the promo 13 seconds into the episode...

Darkwing: He is the terror that flaps in the night. He is the eraser that rubs out the typos of crimes, he is Gosalyn's dad!

I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. To recap; he was on top of the building; Drake jumps around cutting his promo and there is smoke and he loses his costume as he reads the papers and blows everything off because Gosalyn is doing a class project on a member of her family and it's dad. And we are back in Drake's living room as Drake has the Gruffi pose on and he proclaims that he refuses to allow it because he has a secret he cannot spill to the world. Gosalyn claims it's only for her class and her class thinks she's a cure for insomnia or something. Again; how can any fans of the new Disney take the old farts seriously? Here's a prime example of one of the biggest criticisms in the new Disney which is the "secret he/she cannot spill" (although at this point; it's pretty much spilled over the banks) being demonstrated in the Old Disney. Now at least Drake had a slightly good reason to not let the secret spill; and Kit Cloudkicker didn't want his secrets to spill because he was a former Air Pirate and was a runaway orphan. You think that most adults of that world are going to let Kit by if he spilled his guts? Of course not; considering the terror the Air Pirates are. Lack of naunce is a really awful thing. This is probably the fourth straight time I have ranted on this; but, it bugs me when people play the nostalaga card like that with no sense of context nor thinking. Emotionism is great for entertainment value; but it hurts creditability in real life. And real life is what counts in this reality.

So Drake takes Gosalyn over to the flipping chairs and proposes a deal: Since there is no limit on family members; it doesn't have to be a living member of the family. Gosalyn agrees on the one paw; but on the other paw, they are dead so they cannot help her in any way. So Drake nails the Basil statue and we flip to Drake's hideout as Launchpad is fixing the Thunder Quack and it's little red wagon. Okay; just the TQ. So we see Drake and Gosalyn walk in as Drake wants Gosalyn to see the family tree. Gosalyn is fine with that because she knows she'll see the family _bush_ and the family _mulch pile_. HAHA! Drake takes offensive to this which indicates an obvious sex joke. Like I said before; right wing moral busybodies hate television (unless it's like church of course) so much; they don't bother watching it. Drake claims that his family tree produced the greatest heroes in history. Don't you mean the wimpest heroes in history Drake? Drake trips on Launchpad's leg and flies into the pile of junk as LP pops from the TQ and asks for an axle and Drake pops up admitting that there isn't any more of them. LP whines about it and then runs over to the Time Top under cover. Wait; so Drake has kept that thing? QUACKERJACK IS GONNA KILL YOU! Or maybe not since he no longer appears in this series anymore and hasn't since Jail Bird and The Haunting of Mr. Banana Brain. Man; that was such a long time ago. Gosalyn claims that she's going out of character and doing her homework (why does she want to weasel her way out of this? Drake is HELPING her with her homework doing this; even if it makes Drake look really stupid); but Drake grabs her because he wants to show her the family tree.

So Drake goes to his bookshelf (ah; I see he got all his stuff back now) and brings down a book from the wooden ladder and blows the dust off it while setting it down on the table. Gosalyn coughs and wheezes as she looks into the open book and notices a picture of a duck wearing a wolf's skin and has a mallet on a cliff fighting off Romans. Gosalyn thinks he's a professional wrestler while Drake calls him an great times 12 grandfather known as Web Wolf The Barbarian. And you thought Dave The Cleaning Barbarian of Laughs was laughable?! He also invented the wheel which Web Wolf demonstrates by folding a soldier into a circle and rolling him down the mountain. In fact he did this three times too. Web Wolf looks out and we return to reality (no, not really) as Gosalyn loves this because Drake apparently has the trademark of the wheel and is giddy about suing someone for money. HAHA! Drake is not amused as he turns the pages and we see a picture of a duck in a full suit of armor, a lance and a white horse. He is Sir Quackmeyer Mallard and is hero of the Duck Ages. Furryism is such a vicious cycle of hate isn't it?! So we see Sir Quack's horse galloping towards a tower with a damsel in distressed and she admits that she is distressed. And we accuse Spongebob Squarepants of this nonsense? The green dragon in front of the tower wakes up as Sir Quack does a pole vault (and holds the record for height so sezs Drake Mallard) and the princess is in his arms. He's on the railing too as the green dragon gets all pissy and Sir Quack bounces off the dragon's head and drops down to ground level with the princess in her arms and we return to reality (no, not really)

And then we have Gosalyn getting giddy and wanting to know who's next as she turns the pages and we have a cowboy like sheriff duck wearing mostly brown and has a gun as Drake addresses him as great, great grandfather Quack Mallardson, the Wittlin' Kid. Okay; that is a neat Western name as he is in trouble with two dognose evil cowboys in black hats. Because we all know white hats equal good and black hats equals evil and having colored hats as alignment is so RACIST! They are also twins wearing the exact same outfit as Quack brings out the pistols and then we do the TOON DISNEY CENSORSHIP OF DOOM and see Quack leaning against the pole of his office blowing the pistols like Bugs Bunny in that Western short with Sam as the evil midget cowboy. Umm; yeah the Toon Disney version is at least 40 seconds shorter than the original version. We return to reality (no, not really) as Drake is full of himself and Gosalyn asks if the genes included swollen heads. HAHA! Drake is about to blow off Gosalyn for disrespecting her elders; but the red flashing and spark sounds ensue outside as Gosalyn and Drake look outside and see the red flashing and sparks coming from the city. Gosalyn thinks someone put a penny in the fuse box again. Drake naturally disagrees because due process doesn't exist and it has to be Megavolt. Drake covers his face like a vampire and Gosalyn is all "DUH" and such. Drake wants him and Launchpad to get dangerous; but then panics because LP is trying to take a part for the TQ from the Time Top and LP falls into the Time Top. The Time Top starts up; spins around and disappears.

Drake proclaims that he should have never took that thing from Quackerjack (and thus is the last time we will ever see him again until the KaBoom era.) but the Time Top returns and out comes Launchpad dressed up like a Roman knight. He hugs Drake and Gosalyn while claiming that he was gone for three years fighting to overtake Goth. He is now addressed as Launchpadius McQuackus, Centurian, third class. So Drake pulls on the cape and tells him to get dangerous. So we scene change to the Thunder Quack being lowered down as Gosalyn runs to the edge and yells about doing something and Drake yells back that she can do her homework. The TQ flies out of the bridge as Gosalyn looks from the window and is not happy about this. Until she catches herself and notices the Time Top on the ground. She proclaims that this homework assignment might be good after all. We scene change into the city as the TQ swoops down to near ground level on the streets of Saint Carnard as Launchpad is driving and talking about his three year stay with the Romans while Drake looks like he wants to kill Launchpad for some reason. You don't like Roman stories do you Drake? Launchpad complains about statues as Drake looks outside and notices that all the denizens coming out that night are frozen solid like statues. Talk about revising history there as we head to a department store and into the fridge section as we see Sparky raiding an empty fridge. He is talking to a lit light bulb and gets all pissy about how the human treated said light bulb and then shuts the fridge. Sparky's promo is hilarious here as usual as he re-opens the fridge to make sure the light bulb was listening.

Then we see a brown haired pig fury dressed in a green suit, green pants, and blue tie asks what he is doing and Sparky blows him off. The pig claims that Sparky's got nerve; but Sparky brings out his plot device of doom called Electro Nerve Generator gun which he demonstrates on the pig as it zaps him and he's frozen solid like a statue and turns into an albino. Ummm; yeah. See; Sparky is stealing energy of the nervous systems of furries to create a generator to run light bulb. Now THAT is demented. Although; the logic would dictate that the denizens would not turn albino and crumple into a heap unable to move nor feel anything. Basically; they are dead. Sparky runs up the escalator proclaiming that they should never change and laughs like an evil bastard. We then see Drake and LP on top of the escalator blowing off Sparky as Chuckles. So he's a "Silly Piggy" now Drake?!! How low? (Points to my manhood) THAT LOW!! POW! OUCH! Ummmmm... So Sparky tries to run against the escalator's wishes; but gets the plunger gun of doom and gets thrown into the air and dumped into the conveniently placed white trash can. Drake comes over and proclaims that Sparky has never learned that crime does not pay. How many times must I tell Drake that crime does pay; otherwise, story writers would never use them as plot devices?! Sparky brings out the Nervous Sucker Laser Gun of Doom and shoots it as Drake dodges it easily and hide behind the plants blowing raspberries and doing the universal promo of missing him and he cannot kiss him. I don't think Sparky is interested in duck sex Drake; nor kissing anyone at this point unless you are a light bulb. You are just full of yourself. We pan west as Drake walks out calling for Launchpad and LP doesn't respond because the beam actually zapped him. Nowadays; we would have Sparky saying beforehand: "I wasn't aiming at you Darkwing Dumbwatt!" like Timmy Turner only a little less smug.

So Drake goes over to LP as Sparky admires his work and then sets up the gun for Drake to go all albino on us. Drake blows him off and puts up his dukes as some big ass hand grabs the gun from behind and then Sparky himself as Drake cuts this full of himself promo (saying darn it; too by the way.); and Sparky is turned into a wheel and rolls down the escalator. HA! Drake then notices Gosalyn as she is with Drake's ancestors Web Wolf, Sir Quack and Quack Mallardson sans pistols. So we head to the food court as Gosalyn pays money to the frozen albino cashier and somehow manages to take a tray of food (despite the fact that everyone in the food court is frozen) and we sit down with the family. Drake is not happy about this extra credit because you just don't go through fiddling with history. Web Wolf eats the hamburger whole as I respond with: The horse was already out of the barn in Time Is Money and Bubba The Cave Duck. No one is going to buy that real time would cause massive historic change since Scrooge made it out alive; albeit lucky though. And we have already done two episodes with the Time Top already including one in the past; so screw off Drake. Gosalyn tries to eat his burger as Drake tells her that if they don't bring them back to their times; there is no Darkwing Duck. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hasn't it occurred to Drake that if that were true; he would have disappeared right now? What an idiot?! Quack is carving wood and explains (voiced by Neil Ross; who was one of the Squadron Seven in Bygones) that Web Wolf got some hate on the Time Top because he thought it was a demon so he thrashed it. Sir Quack backs that evidence up while sipping tea.

Sir Quackmeyer Mallard is voiced by the late Roddy McDowall (passed away in 1998) and according to the USIMDB: Roderick McDowall was born in London, the son of a Merchant Mariner father and a mother who had always wanted to be in movies. He was enrolled in elocution courses at age five and by ten had appeared in his first film, Murder in the Family (1938), playing Peter Osborne, the younger brother of sisters played by Jessica Tandy and Glynis Johns. His mother brought Roddy and his sister to the US at the beginning of World War II, and he soon got the part of Huw, youngest child in a family of Welsh coal miners, in John Ford's How Green Was My Valley (1941), acting alongside Walter Pidgeon, Maureen O'Hara and Donald Crisp in the film that won that year's best film Oscar. He went on to many other child roles, in films like My Friend Flicka (1943) and Lassie Come Home (1943) until, at age 18, he moved to New York, where he played a long series of successful stage roles, both on Broadway and in such venues as Connecticut's Stratford Festival, where he did Shakespeare. In addition to making many more movies (over 150), McDowell acted in television, developed an extensive collection of movies and Hollywood memorabilia, and published five acclaimed books of his own photography. He died at his Los Angeles home, aged 70, of cancer. He began his career with Sarah Siddons in 1938 in an uncredited role. Darkwing Duck is his DTVA debut and he also appeared in Gargoyles as Proteus. He has 257 titles to his resume not including 89 Self credits, one director credit (The Ballard of Tam Lin in 1970), seven producer credits (Overboard, Big Timber, Killer Shark, Black Midnight, Tuna Clipper, Kidnapped and Rocky) and two other credits. Godzilla: The Series as Doctor Hugh Trevor and Mr. Soil in A Bug's Life are his final credits.

Web Wolf smashes a table to force the point as Drake does eye contact violence on Gosalyn and Gosalyn proclaims that Launchpad can fix it; but then realizes that LP is an albino statue now with a Happy Meal. Gosalyn feels bad; but Drake assures her that he'll beat Sparky and get the nervous energy. So Gosalyn tugs on the cape and wants to use Launchpad for art classes. HAHA! She'll probably use him for history class too. Drake is stunned; but Gosalyn points and claims that she was kidding. Huh? I guess she got tired of eye contact violence. Apparently; Drake is tired of using it too. Drake wants Gosalyn to have them come back to Darkwing Tower (the hideout) as Gosalyn reminds him that they are heroes and thus could be good for crime fighting. Remember that for later on because you are about to see a really bad continuity error here. And it looks like the Liquidator will not make an appearance here and Lady In The Cake got that wrong too. Drake then ponders it over as Gosalyn drags Web Wolf back; but Drake cuts that one off because he believes in Gosalyn saying that they could slam dunk Sparky. He cuts his full of himself promo right in front of them...and then the elevator door opens and here comes Sparky with Nervous Sucker. Drake panics as Sparky cuts a lost and found promo (and a good one) as he points the Nervous Sucker at Drake as Drake's back is against Web Wolf's belly and that ends the segment 10 and a half minutes in. Entertaining stuff thus far...

After the commercial break; we see that Sir Quack is behind Drake now as Sparky shoots and everyone dodges. Then we jump cut to Drake Mallard and company holding up trays. I see the Wittin Kid's gun fetish has been seriously toned down in the Toon Disney version. Then Web Wolf destroys another table for fun. And you know Toon Disney ruined the spot because Sparky is down and there is no nervous gun anymore; but a mess to his right. Web Wolf wants to smash Sparky as Gosalyn eggs him on as Web Wolf is about to kill Sparky in the fetal position; but Web Wolf notices a tray and spins the wheels on it. Sparky get up and magically his gun comes back and points it at Web Wolf. Sir Quack blows Sparky off; but somehow gets his leg caught in a table and chair. Ummm; yeah. So Drake brings out the gas gun and tells Sparky to suck gas; so Sparky wants Drake to suck energy as he fires his electric sucker and Drake ducks (Oh the irony?!); it bounces off Sir Quack's armor (remember that one for later on); bounces off a tray and bounces onto the elevator door and seeps in somehow causing the elevator's power to go out along with the lights inside. Not exactly good logic there Gordon. Sparky's eyes are left and the elevator goes down like Throgmorton's creditability at FLAPP. Drake opens the elevator doors and notices the shaft below as Sparky yells ouch. Drake decides to leave Sparky in the mall and calls for the troops to leave as the babyfaces are not too pleased about this. Why? It was Sir Quack's armor that saved Drake's ass and foiled Sparky's plans for now. They are still heroes. It's not their fault that their genes have Drake Mallard's REALLY STUPID gene inherited. They are hardly wimps; just plain idiots.

So we head to the hideout as Drake paces around claiming that they are not related to them. Let's see; they are all full of themselves and they are REALLY STUPID. In other words; it's no mistake. Drake is simply projecting at this point as Gosalyn is on the table reading the book. Drake feels mighty shameful as we see Web Wolf looking at the bouncy ball, Sir Quack is walking blind in his suit and Quack Mallardson is sitting in a rocking chair he made. I know this due to the wooden shaving on the floor. So it's one part full of himself, one part really stupid and one with tunnel vision. Sounds like it equals DARKWING...DUCK to me! Yeap; Drake is projecting himself again as usual. I know that part of the gene doesn't come from those three; so he must be dishonest as well. So we scene change to the TRIO OF MISFIT ANCESTORS with Gosalyn at the table as Gosalyn is reading the book showing the family tree; and then notices all the images of the heroes have disappeared from the book. Drake is lugging Launchpad around proclaiming that if they aren't returned to their own times; they can not fill their heroic destinies. Sir Quack then admits that there is a problem with that because there is a _Mallard Family Curse_. Drake doesn't seem to buy this one bit as he flips through the pages; but Sir Quack claims that he fails at life and demonstrates that by sitting on a chair and he tumbles like mad. Drake then points to the Wittlin Kid; but Quack Mallardson creates a top from a knife and Drake calls it stupid and walks off. Okay; here's the problem with this: It doesn't explain how Web Wolf created wheels out of Sparky; and Sir Quack's armor did save them; so why are they failure. Me thinks this is a self-esteem problem they are having. Gosalyn goes over to Drake and proclaims that heroes are not born; they are made..and NOT made up either judging by that revisionist history book Drake likes so much.

Drake then gets inspired as he will make them heroes as Web Wolf grabs him by the ankle and proclaims himself to be a fearless warrior...with a knack to be distracted by round things; not unlike Gunther being distracted by shiny things. Well; both are from the old country; so it makes perfect sense. Web Wolf loves tops I see as Drake looks at the camera like Charlie Brown wondering where it went so wrong. HEE HEE! Drake gives up right there because his ancestor's are wimps. WRONG DRAKE! Your ancestors are vain really stupid ducks and you cannot stand that fact because they are just like you! This is why Gosalyn is so awesome sometimes; because she saw right through Drake's boosting. Gosalyn mentions about the problem with having descendants if they don't come back. Drake tries to explain that it doesn't work and then stops at shooting the grandfather and then screams from the top of his lungs that he's doomed as we cut back to outside the bridge. Really now Drake; you are not doomed. Only Nintendo is doomed. 100,000 Game Journalists Cannot Be Wrong! That should be the new logical fallacy for the "15,000 Frenchmen cannot be wrong" fallacy. It makes more sense and it doesn't discriminate against the French. So we cut to Hamburger Hippo (the Burger King of the Darkwing Duck world) as we hear Sparky in the kitchen blowing off a light bulb in the fridge. HAHA! The chef is the Captain Patton's son we saw in Getting Antsy. God; that brings back memories of my very early ranting career once I got off the TaleSpin bias juice and started focusing on all DTVA shows. And yes; the bulldog is albino and frozen solid at the stove as Sparky laughs it up like someone who needs professional help. Then he opens the fridge door open and asks again.

So we continue this love/hate relationship with the light bulb from Sparky. HAHA! And then we ruin the fun by segue to a moon shot of the sky and then pan down to the streets of Saint Carnard to show Drake riding the Rat Catcher with the Heroes of Projection: The Ultimate in Psychological Logic Fallacies. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! POW! POW! POW! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Ummmm... So we ride for a while as Drake gives them trays to help reflect the beam and calls this easier than falling off a log. Sir Quack sums that one up for me as the Rat Catcher stops on a dime and here comes Sparky with his Electric Sucker; the new device for a generation of oral sex kittens. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... So Drake hops out as Sparky calls Drake dead as a dead end and Drake tells the heroes to follow his lead. Sir Quack comes out and forgets that he is blind (Geez Sir Quackalot; open the helmet and get rid of it for god sakes!) and he points his spears and pokes the air right out of the front wheel of the Rat Catcher. Well; that at least will stop Web Wolf from admiring it for a while. And we logic break as the helmet is now open and he can see as Web Wolf is JUST TOO FAT and what exactly is Quack Mallardson's excuse; I have no clue. He's smaller than both of his other heroes; so WHAT?! So Web Wolf pushes the shotgun seat up and makes makeshift underwear with it. Web Wolf apologizes for that gaffe which wasn't a gaffe at all; unless you happen to be in front of Web Wolf's belly like Quack Mallardson is. On the other hand; he cannot bring the pistols out so Toon Disney has no excuse to cut him doing awesome stuff.

Drake is so pissed off that he does something even stupider than the descendants could ever do: He nails himself with the tray in frustration and knocks himself silly. Which is long enough for Sparky to cut a "send the flowers" promo and zaps Drake with the Electric Sucker and Drake is now an albino statue of himself. His dream is now complete; he always wanted to be noticed. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sparky laughs as he grabs the lightbulb red energy out of his gun and we get one more shot of Drake before ending the segment almost 16 minutes in. Well; this is great so far...

After the commercial break; we somehow return to the hideout as Gosalyn gives the heroes the third degree on letting Drake get all albino and dead inside. Wait; so why didn't Sparky zap the heroes? I mean; I can understand Sir Quack being in this scene; but Web Wolf and Quack Mallardson? It makes no sense. Man; and this episode are swimming along so nicely too. Sir Quack proclaims that the Mallards are cursed forever; but Gosalyn isn't giving up because she's a mallard and apparently we are following the rule of female mallards that the stupidity only affects males. Which the Simpsons stole later on for Lisa's paranoia about her future being dumb and stupid like Homer Simpson; which are more entertaining then her extreme environmental viewpoints later on in that series. Gosalyn proclaims that they might be a bunch of dweebs now; but she's going to make them into a fighting crime crew when it's all said and done with. The trio looks ashamed for some reason as we cut to a shot of a target hanging from a ceiling with Megavolt's picture on it. So Sir Quack slams the helmet and charge and off-screen misses by a country mile (with Gosalyn cringing) and Sir Quack slams into the bookshelf and does no damage whatsoever. Free advice: GET RID OF THE HELMET!! And Sir Quack gets entombed in books too as Quack Mallardson goes for his gas gun; but they break the belt and his pants fall down and he shoots the smoke right in front of him. Now why didn't Toon Disney cut this scene out? If there was ever a shot of children mimicking this; this scene was it.

So Web Wolf pounces on the target and throws it down on the ground. Gosalyn loves that as Web Wolf is about to smash the target; but then he stops because it's more round fetishes from him as he spins the target. Well; this is not all bad as that move is somewhat effective in stopping Sparky from freezing people at least. Gosalyn does the Gruffi pose and proclaims that this will take a little longer as we see more red flashing lights and sparks as we spend about a minute with Gosalyn climbing the ladder and looking out noticing Sparky having controls of the light bulbs in Saint Carnard. Okay; this doesn't make sense since the lights in the tower are perfectly fine. The heroes think the end of the world is forthcoming and Gosalyn climbs down and blows them off because Drake believed in them. This causes the heroes to admit that they have to return the favor even if they are really stupid ducks who are full of themselves. Web Wolf wants to get dangerous in the most broken of English possible. So we cut to a shot of a power plant as we see Sparky on the look off being insane as usual. I know this because he's laughing at Drake who has become a bird feeder. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's even funnier than Drake getting planted by Bushroot. The birds land on the tray to feed as Sparky enters into the power plant as he shows off the Nervous Electric Generator which means every light bulb within ten miles is on all the time regardless if they want to or not. Sparky dances in the hallways with rooms filled with light. And here comes Gosalyn and the Heroes Of Projection cutting their promo at 18:28...

HOP: We are the terrors that flap in the night. We are the splinters that you just can't tweeze, I reckon. We are the rust spots on the armor of crime., we....We Bad!

Good enough as Web Wolf has a hug and Gosalyn wants him to do some roundski as Web Wolf jumps down and throws a round roll of wires at Sparky. Sparky counters with the green zap finger on the magnet and the rolls of wire connect to the magnet. I guess they are made of solid iron because copper doesn't have serious magnetic properties. In other words; Sparky's magnetic field would have to be so strong that it would kill an average man. Sparky jumps towards Gosalyn and has a wooden version of the Electric Sucker and tries to fire it; but it doesn't sell and it crumbles. Sparky protests this as we see Quack Mallardson reckoning the Electric Sucker; I reckon. Gosalyn loves to reckon that as Sir Quack (with damaged lance in a rare show of CONTINUITY; but negates it by closing the helmet) runs in as Sparky invokes the electric Wii hands to create electric fields on the ground and Sir Quack pole vaults (on a damaged pointed lance mind you. And he remembers to open the helmet this time beforehand. ) into the generator and cracks through the red glass. Alarm sounds ensue as Sparky is seriously screwed now. So Sparky jumps onto the light bulb part of the generator; but it breaks and the red energy of doom flies out like something out of hot tasty food and it overwhelms everyone back to normal and moving including Drake and Launchpad. Well; we all knew that couldn't last.

Sparky climbs to the top and puts his arms up proclaiming that he will never be broken. And Drake comes in with...the Electric Sucker. WHAT THE HELL? Quack Mallardson had the gun you dopehead writer!! And yes; Drake shoots Sparky with the sucker; and turns Sparky into an albino statue with a bird feeder fetish and Drake grabs the light bulb and call this revenge for the Mallards; past and present. What a stupid logic break this was? And it kills the whole redeeming value of the past Mallards to boot because they had Sparky right where they want him to be. In fact Quack had the ray gun and it disappeared and magically appeared in Drake's hands. UUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! What a stupid finish this was?! And then we jump cut to outside with Sparky standing there as the new bird feeder waiting for the police to arrive and Drake thanks the Mallards for allowing him to bury them with a logic breaking finish. Or maybe not. The past Mallards cheer anyway because they are stupider than Drake Mallard himself. So we head back to the tower as we see Launchpad finally fixing the Time Top (which we actually never saw damaged at all during this episode which would have been shown in the new Disney.) as Quack Mallardson and Gosalyn have a final embrace and he gives her a statue of herself made from wood. Now that is heartwarming guys. Drake and the Mallard exchange notes and shake hands because now they can be proud to be full of themselves and really stupid Mallards without embarrassment. So we scene change as the top spins around and disappears for good as Gosalyn wipes her hands of this episode. Drake stops her and shows her the homework that she forgot to do and then pets her on the head since the report is due tomorrow. HA! Drake shrugs his shoulder like a smugass and that ends the episode at 20:39 aired. Lady Of The Cake did it to me again since Liquidator didn't show up; so Jail Bird is his final appearance after all. Dammit! Very good episode; pretty funny, but a really stupid finish and a few animation errors. **** (80%).


Well; this episode was probably the weakest of the three super episodes this weekend, but it was still really, really good. It was basically a comedy version of Whistlestop Jackson, Legend and while I enjoyed Whistlestop a lot for it's pathos; I enjoyed this episode for it's laughs on Drake's family tree. Megavolt was completely insane and his plan was really dark because he basically paralyzed everyone; and the white albino look made them appear as a symbol for being dead. No breathing noises, no nothing. It was really, really nasty on Sparky's part; and making Drake into a bird feeder was hilarious. Sadly; a few animation mistakes and a really stupid finish made out of a logic break marred this episode. Drake didn't need to finish Sparky off since the Mallards had already beaten him and Quack Mallardson had the gun to beat him. But is disappeared and landed in Drake's hands for no reason other than to make Drake look strong and bury the Mallards. I realize that they didn't develop the training scene with the Mallards; but seriously, the trio were not wimps nor had no strengths; they were merely stupid and vain. They were ancient version of Drake himself. All they needed was to stop acting stupid and they are fine. It doesn't take too long kids. Overall; another ****+ episode in a series of them. Next up is the sequel of Battle Of The Brainteasers as Honker gets suckered into making himself look bad in front of his alien hat heroes thanks to the revenge of Flarg. Excellent! So....

Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time!


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