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Hot Spells

Reviewed: 09/01/2012

...And Cold Shoulders From BS&P!!

Well; well, well, we finally made it to the official 500th update of the Rant Shack (although knowing me; I probably surpassed that a long time ago and forgot to count properly); so it's only fitting that my next rant would be one of those "blacklisted" episodes that DTVA was known for. See; the writers thought of this great idea to have Gosalyn sell her daddy's soul to the devil. Yeah. To (not called that) Satan. After Her Chance to Dream and A Baloo Switcheroo got blacklisted on some syndies; you would think that DTVA would realize that Middle America hates anything that is not considered Christian; or worse praises the devil. But they didn't of course because they are in Hollywood so they are out of touch with their values. Or something. The cut I have is not from the Disney Channel nor Toon Disney nor Family Channel Canada (like a number of Ducktales episodes are when I ranted on them earlier this year.); so I'm guessing that this is first run syndication due to the lack of eye catchers. Anyhow; I'm going to flat out say that this is a serious case of projection on Middle Amercia's part because if I were to take them seriously; I wouldn't be so out of touch with the rest of the world, even if I hate Hollywood. Besides; Flying Dupes at least had a much better reason to be blacklisted then this episode. The question is; how does this episode fare? So; let's rant on shall we...

The episode is written by John Behnke, Rob Humphrey and Jim Peterson. The story is edited by Tad Stones. John and Rob have pretty much the same resume of the usual cartoons and DTVA shows starting with Darkwing Duck and up to Kim Possible and started with The Yuppie in 1988. The Penguins Of Madagascar are their most recent credits. Rob has 29 writing credits, two producer and actor apiece and one director and editor credit. John has 28 writing credits, three director, and two producer and editor credits apiece. Jim is mostly all DTVA with the following exceptions: D.C Dingle, Baby Looney Tunes, Earthworm Jim, The Wedding Tape, The Mask, The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries and of course The Yuppie. He has 19 writing credits and one of each producer and editor. The animation is done by Hanho Heung-Up Company Limited.

We begin this one near a really, really spooky gate with a bat lock heading into a spooky castle like academy as we zoom in and see Gosalyn looking into the mouth of the gargoyle statue and comments about having a blast at the academy. Morganna and Drake (in DARKWING...DUCK costume) are in the front driveway as Morgana explains the academy of magic and conjuring as Drake comments on the poison ivy with yellow eyes which creeps him out. Then we see Molo and Aunt Nasty (you didn't think we saw the last of them after Morgana kicked their collective asses in Monsters R Us didn't ya?) on flying leaf blowers entomb Drake in fall leaves. HAHA! Morgana's school is called The Eldritch Academy of Enchantment by the way; so at least the writers are writing this one to sail over the kids' heads which is great if you don't overdo it. Molo and Nasty embrace Morgana as Morgana is being honored because she has a thesis/paper named "Warts and Boils - Medieval Aches Redefined for a New Age". Sadly; this woo and quackery is still no match for Shampoo Woo. No matter how many times I have heard that; it makes me laugh (I believe it should still be there somewhere in Orac's Respectful Insolence.). Drake has no sense of humor; and is more concerned with Molo putting the cape over his head more than anything. Of course Molo is still blowing off Drake and Drake protests this; so Molo does the green finger zap and zaps Drake to ashes. What; he didn't turn him into a shovel? I mean that should please BS&P because it kills the blackface spot; therefore it's less racist. Unless there is something racist about a shovel that I am not aware of. Drake coughs and blows off Molo for such lameness as Morgana separates them. Molo turns his back and agrees to that only for her of course. Drake claims that he's a proud father and then panics as Gosalyn is looking from a third story window. Wimp! We've seen Gosalyn fall from much higher heights as she looks and sees THE BLOB OF DEATH which causes her to lose her balance and free fall. She falls into the black pot which somehow manages to have wood underneath it. Take one guess who put it there and whose tasting the water with the spoon.

So Drake yells at her for nearly getting killed (death reference #1) and Aunt Nasty starts the fire underneath the pot. You may want to rephrase that more carefully in the future Drake. Drake pulls Gosalyn out of the pot as Aunt Nasty does a dance and claims that she was just kidding. Yeah; trying to boil someone alive is "just kidding". Nasty dances around and bails stage left as apparently she has a garden at this university. Then we somehow see the green blob teleport and Morgana finally addresses him as Uncle Globby. Gosalyn is squeezing the water from her shirt as Globby apologizes for scaring her. Gosalyn claims that she lost her grip and wasn't scared. Morgana looks at her watch (which the face has a picture of Death on it; only Death was the crappiest skull face ever) and she has a meeting with the dean of the academy. We then do the spooky scene changer as we head into the hallways. Nice attention to detail moment: The door is shaped like a casket. Globby goes under the door and looks in the really spacious office to find that there is no one; AND THE ROCK MEANS NO ONE!! Molo opens the door calling this impossible because the dean was expecting them. Drake goes to the desk and claims that he's looking for the janitor and blows the dust which when it clears it reveals an old duck with a hat with bat wings, a staff with bat wings and dressed mostly in brown colors. This must be Mr. Hardcore. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ZAP! OUCH! Ummmm...No; it's the dean Specter McHex as he's a midget who looks like something out of the Hunchback of Notre Dame (university). McHex (I have no idea who is voicing him; maybe it's Jim Cummings: Lady In The Cake is no help here) walks to Drake and states that there is a difference between dust and decomposition. No, not really Hex. Drake suggests drinking more water and Hex looks around not eyeing Morgana once. But Hex does praise her for the first rate paper and she has been an excellent business person. Drake and Molo proclaim that that this their ghoul and then having an eye contact violence staring contest for fun. HAHA!

McHex claims that there is a lot to do; but wants Uncle Globby to show Morgana the advance classes as he is about to leave his room. We then get a shot of the babyfaces and then do a burning scene changer as we go straight to hell. No really; we are in hell now as we do a really neat sequence with the fog effects and red eyes as we head to Satan's throne room as the devil from Dead Duck is back; only this time, it's no dream. Well; it's still fiction, but within the context of canon; it's no dream. The red devil is sulking; but decides to check topside for anything that would help him out of his funk of the lack of devilment. And yes; devilment is an actual word. So we scene change to the devil watching television on his devilish super computer. He skips over politicians because they present no challenge to him. And this is 1992 we are talking about. He does more channel flipping and notices Drake leaning against a suit of armor with a lance like ax on it while Morgan looks on with Molo in the hallway. Satan gets giddy because he wants Darkwing Duck on his resume so badly (which is apporos since he failed to get him on the resume in Dead Duck; dream nor otherwise. And then he notices Gosalyn tugging on the cape and sees double MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. So we picks up his devilish red phone and calls his team for wardrobe because Drake is going to die and go to hell BABEE! Now of course this alone would not get the episode blacklisted since they would have to blacklist Dead Duck (and Dead Duck did get on DVD no less) as well; but it's something else. I'll explain later.

And just to get the voice out of the way, (I don't know how he is addressed in this episode yet; but Lady In The Cake has him addressed as) Beelzebub is voiced by Marty Ingels and according to the USIMDB: Martin Ingerman was born on March 6, 1936 in New York City. He had an older brother named Arthur. He had a rough childhood and was often picked on. After he finished school, he went into the army. Later, he appeared in a couple of game shows and won. He wanted to be an actor so he went to California. He lived with another guy and actually ended up dating and eventually marrying his roommate's girlfriend. Marty made a couple of movies, but made it big when he starred with 'John Astin (I)' in "I'm Dickens, He's Fenster" (1962). Soon after the show went off the air, he and his wife divorced. He met and married Shirley Jones and became stepfather to Shaun, Ryan, and Patrick Cassidy, sons of Jones from her marriage to Jack Cassidy. He worked some, but Shirley was primarily the breadwinner. Eventually he started putting some money away and in a couple of years was able to accumulate over a million dollars. In 1999, he and Shirley separated for six months, but then got back together. They live in Encino, California, with three dogs. He started in 1960 on Dan Raven as Benny. Darkwing Duck was his only DTVA appearance. He has 64 titles to his resume and 32 self credits. Bruce The Challenge, and A Strange Brand of Happy (which is still in development) are his most recent credits.

So we scene change to a close up shot of a statue AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we are at the end of a dark hallway with a huge book statue on top of the double doors. Drake wonders if this is the janitors room and Morgana calls this the library of forbidden spells. Cue ominous music here. HEE HEE! Gosalyn asks what is the library of forbidden spells and we cue ominous music again which freaks out Drake. Oh; this better lead to Molo playing the out of nowhere organ because if it isn't; then this was a wasted spot. And yes; it's a wasted spot since Molo cannot help it. See; the library of forbidden spells are too powerful and evil to risk the soul in using as Drake does the Baloo repeat spot which is somehow even lamer when Drake does it. Drake asks about the soft cover; but Morgana agrees with Molo and we fade to black and scene change to the hallway with Uncle Globby as Gosalyn jumps in time with him. Is this a TaleSpin episode that got rejected or something?! Globby shows the casket door leading to Aunt Nasty's science lab; which Gosalyn blows off because they are supposed to be magical creatures. Gosalyn wants to use magic so she can make her homework disappear. I can just see the excuse she comes up with in school and then it goes all down hill from there. Anyhow; we jump cut to inside the class room as Morgana is teaching the students about something on the screen (I assume it's her paper; although she does mention calculation in the head part). Drake, Molo, Globby and Gosalyn watch from the back room. Okay; Gosalyn and Globby are distracted by the blue monster with different color feet (one side is blue; other is lime green) as Gosalyn wants to ditch her school and join the academy. Molo thinks this could be arranged; but Drake dismisses it out of hand because while she like the un-natural; but it should be encouraged. Gosalyn growls and Drake acts like he cannot say no to her. Yeah; he acted like a cowardly enabler right there. Why doesn't that surprise me?

So Gosalyn walks out as Morgana has finished her teaching of the class and tells Drake that she needs help with the presentation and Drake does not like that one bit (he wants to supervise Gosalyn of course) because we all know what is coming a mile away don't we? And we all like that don't we? HEE HEE! Anyhow; Aunt Nasty takes over for Morgana as she uses the zap hands (green this time) to create an Humpty Dumpty Duck. HAHA! Those webfeet are red like an apple. He bounces around Gosalyn and then we jump cut to a table with two flasks of blue liquid as Nasty wants calculators ready (two of them) and Gosalyn is not happy to hear that. Globby explains the secret to science magic as Gosalyn proclaims that math is for weenies. This puts the entire "Math Is Tough" line from Barbie into it's proper place doesn't it. Sure; math is tough, but then again maybe if we educated kids into showing that doing tough stuff is not always a BAD thing and easy stuff is not always a GOOD thing; then we wouldn't have stupid protests like this. You want to protest something; how about Gosalyn calling math for weenies. That's an insult to nearly every enlightened person on the planet for goodness sakes! Oh and Hanho's creditability streak continues as the liquid is changed to purple. We get the blue shooting nuclear explosion effect in a flask; and we end up with brown goo which Gosalyn basically thinks it's gross. Which is codeword for poop; which Nasty eats it and thanks Gosalyn for creating chocolate pudding. Which would have made more sense if Hanho didn't change the color of the chocolate pudding from brown to purple again. Gosalyn gets petted on the head as the monsters laugh and throw papers for fun. Nasty wants Gosalyn to sit this one out claiming that this is beyond the understanding of normals which causes Gosalyn to storm out in protest; even more so when Nasty invokes the rigid gender role insult of home economics class. Maybe I'm the only one who likes these sorts of things (because I love cooking; sewing not so much); but you have to admit, home economics is a nice change of pace when you are a man.

So Gosalyn blows off Nasty for being such a "normalist" and then has a meeting of the mind (since skeletons have no brains see) and it wasn't at the graveyard (although in this case; it's damn sure close). The skeleton runs away stage right without his head as Gosalyn goes after it stage left and blows off Drake for accusing her of being absent minded. So she turns the corner and trips over the school sweeping broom as she manages to grab it and we see that Satan is dressed like a janitor. Umm; yeah, we discover that the skeleton is called York. I guess Red Bone is copyrighted. So he is Beelzebub as LITC predicted and we go to the doors of the library of forbidden spells (cue ominous music) as we open it with mature lighting and Beelze lights a torch with his fingers. Gosalyn even points out that this is the library of forbidden spells and indeed we cue ominous music only with thunderclap. Beelze claims that it used to be that; but he cleaned out all the junk down to the basement. Now the problem with this (besides the double doors closing) is that when we walk further into the library; there are tons of books on the bookshelves. So they exchange notes for a while as Gosalyn complains that it takes a rocket science to figure this magic stuff out. Unless it's chocolate pudding of course. So we head into the shadows of the back of the library while you cannot see what the hell they are doing (We have really hit a low point in DTVA animation haven't we?) as Beelze proclaims that magic is easy because the math stuff is to keep them employed due to unions and such. So Beelze and Gosalyn with a hardcover book called Magic Made Easy. Talk about the quackery leading the quackery. Gosalyn thinks this is easy as we head to a table (next to a lit candle) as Beelze opens the spell book and shows Gosalyn that all you need to do is wiggle your fingers and presto; instant monster. Gosalyn isn't sure as she sulks and proclaims that it will turn into chocolate pudding.

So she wiggles her fingers and nothing happens of course. Beelze tells her that she forgot to say presto and that is what Gosalyn does and we get a Galerian Toranga (the creature we saw earlier; only blue this time) as Gosalyn calls this major league. Beelze gives the book to Gosalyn and tell her not to tell anyone since she doesn't have a library card to borrow such books. Gosalyn promises not to tell as the GT belches and Gosalyn blows it off because his breath stinks. Gosalyn runs out calling the GT an imp as the GT bounces behind her. Beelze then does his smoke clothes change to normal gear as he laughs because Gosalyn has taken the bait and cannot wait to catch Darkwing Duck as the candle light goes out and that ends the segment 11 and a half minutes in. Really good episode thus far; although Hanho's coloring is very sloppy.

Interesting Moment #1: Yup; this is the ABC release. I still don't know if it made it to Family Channel though. So it's even more blacklisted than Flying Dupes only with much less justification.

After the commercial break; we head to the theater as Morgana is putting the finishing touches on her displays for the presentation. She has two tripods of canvas displaying calculations and such and a table with a banana yellow cover on it. Drake walks up onto the stage as Morgana seems to be having some trouble. Morgana seems to want these things in color. Now; the problem with this is; Hanho once again has zero clue what they are doing and the diagram we see with the foot is in full color. I don't know if it's a logic break; or an intentional mistake, but this blooper does make Morgana look weak guys. Drake brings in jars of red something as he tells her that this is no big deal and now Morgana is PISSED. And I do mean pissed. Drake; run NOW! MORGANA'S GONNA KILL YOU! Too late; she blows off Drake with the red eyes and red spark hands which cause Drake to go to ashes against the wall. I hope she makes Drake clean that mess up; just to rub it in. After all; this is the most important moment of her life. She finally relents as Drake puts out the fire of his cape and admits that she's tense. See; McHex is judging the paper and her personality as well as we see GT and Gosalyn walk into the theater with the spell book as Gosalyn goes presto on it and it becomes a pocket book edition. Did I mention that Gosalyn is dressed like a student for the academy (complete with bat wing hat)? Did I mention that Gosalyn is wearing a golden chain necklace. I cannot tell the gold circular object attached to the chain as Gosalyn creates another GT and this one is giant ass and it looks like a rejected Eggplant Wizard from Kid Icarus. And it has big lips and it's purple which probably was the inspiration for the editing of Jynx in Pokemon since he was completely black and completely racist.

Speaking of bigotry; GT is easily charmed by men and sees Drake right there in plain sight and we give chase destroying the entire project Morgana had as Drake runs for a place to hide. Morgana is more concerned about Gosalyn's creation and how she created it. Okay; there is no pentagram locket that Gosalyn is wearing; it's only a ring. Gosalyn scoffs at all the math and calculations which should go over REALLY WELL with math teachers everywhere. NOT! Morgana then realizes that there is no way Gosalyn could have gotten that kind of power and she went into the library of forbidden spells. More organ music which is funny because Eggplant Wizard Reject is almost there in kissing Drake Mallard good. HAHA! More chasing and dodging from the two as Gosalyn claims that all the stuff was moved to the back and therefore she wasn't in there. Now the problem with that is; this basically incriminates Gosalyn because how would she know that it was all moved to the basement? Which Morgana does ask I should point out as Molo comes in and Drake points to him and Eggplant Wizard reject runs out Molo and Drake somehow lands in the middle of the ruined project. Morgana is crushed as we discover that the jars were filled with red frogs and they have escaped. Which do exist in real life; albeit they are black spotted. Morgana panics as McHex walks in and criticizes Morgana's presentation; and Morgana stammers like an idiot. Morgana then blames Gosalyn's GT for this and McHex actually praises her and calls her a Monster Mozart.

Darkwing Duck: {complete with Gruffi pose.} No kidding! She can do it without magical monsters too. Look at her room for instance...
Gosalyn: DAD!!

McHex asks how she did it and proclaims that she was working on a few theories. Most of them involving selling Drake's soul to the devil and giving BS&P headaches. So McHex decides that this monster Mozart is a breakthrough and decides to cut out Morgana's presentation in order to allow Gosalyn to do a presentation on easy magic. UH OH! Morgana doesn't like that at all. So Gosalyn panics; grabs GT and runs off to re-examine her theories. Drake likes the genius and Morgana blows him off because there is no way she could learn all the calculations that quickly. Drake proclaims that she might not be book smart; but she does have an imagination. I mean; ask her teacher. And then he implies that her teacher was in jail or committed or something. Morgana recalls Gosalyn saying that she claimed that the books were moved from the forbidden library and hopes she doesn't get into trouble as we return to the library of forbidden spells as Beelze is back to being a janitor and blowing off the castoffs from Fantasia. HAHA! They are the brooms with water buckets that move on their own in case you were born before 1980.

Dusty Rhodes: Oh; you mean the writing team! {laughter from the peanut gallery.}
Jim Ross: It's the third fall and Michael has dumped his drawers.
Michael Hayes: No; I'm pass that...
Bryan: The writing team?
Vinny: You probably didn't know Michael Hayes was part of the Freebirds.
Bryan: Oh God!!

Yes; that was from the Figure 4 Weekly Podcast; the special Christmas review of Impact from December of 2007 (which included Bryan Alavrez's really silly girl voice, and of course the greatest segment in history, which was the worse segment in history; aka the Silent Night, Bloody Night match.). Gosalyn enters just as the brooms leave and pleas for help on the presentation and Beelze takes the book and writes something in it. He then gives the book back and proclaims that this will knock the academy out of their seat. Gosalyn thanks him; but then asks about the book. More organ music which Gosalyn has had enough of. Beelze walks Gosalyn to the door and assures him that it went out with polyester wizard robes. He tells her to knock them dead; because he will do it too. We get a flaming scene changer and return to McHex's office as the door opens and Morgana goes out moping with Drake following her as the peanut gallery hated her presentation. Wait; so Morgana actually did it? I thought it was cut out and replaced with Gosalyn's? At least McHex was diplomatic about it so I cannot complain about this. Drake claims that the presentation was great. Oh sure; blame the peanut gallery for being stupid, that's real smart Drake. Most so since that is a serious case of projection. Morgana of course doesn't buy it for one second as Drake kisses her on the cheek before walking stage left hearing Gosalyn from afar. So Morgana goes around the bend and sees Gosalyn in the middle of the hallway wiggling her fingers to make the spell book bigger as GT holds it. Morgana realizes that Gosalyn lied (or in this case was duped) and tries to warn Gosalyn; but Beelze's hands grab Morgana and whisks her away.

And once again; we have another bloody scene changer (things like this that give credence to the anime dubbing companies bigotry accusations by anime otakus.) as we head to the theater as Drake comes in and we have a full house; including McHex and Molo to whom Drake has to sit next too. Drake asks if he missed anything and makes the mistake of elbowing Molo and Molo zaps him again. HAHA! That's one way to make people stop ribbing you. Drake takes that as a no and we head to the stage as Gosalyn does her promo and she stammers as Drake has the Gruffi pose on full blast. Yeah; this is getting worse than Morgana's presentation which we NEVER GOT TO SEE! Stupid time constraints! If you ever wanted a reason to love the internet and smart phones; this would be it. Not to say that it's a perfect idea that works every time; but it can be a blessing when it's needed/done properly. Drake yells at the crowd to give him a chance and Molo doesn't zap him. Oh screw you Molo! I realize that you cannot shut up...Oh; that's the reason. Never mind. Drake tells Gosalyn to hit them with the big stuff so Gosalyn wiggles her fingers and presto; she summons the gate of Satan's Hell. BS&P: Gates of Fire. Still better than Hades as McHex is confused; so Molo blows him off as the gates of fire open up with flames; two devil guards and Beelzebub arrives because the heat just rose down BS&P's neck. He laughs like crazy and that ends the segment 17 and a half minutes in.

After the commercial break; we have Beelzebub proclaiming that he will do evil things and Molo, Nasty and Globby proclaim that he must face the wrath of the academy and it's legends as they do the green zapping hands and it gets deflected from the lesser devils and they get zapped. Oh who am I fooling; this guy is Satan himself, let's not mince words. Satan calls this too easy and here comes a fate worse than Satan at 17:40...

Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the water balloon that lands right on your head.

Oh lord that was LAME! You seriously think anyone is going to buy that this wasn't BS&P'ed. The line should be: I am the saint who rips through your sins! That makes more sense. Of course I prefer: I am the God who smites your sins. But even I know that would not go over well with the cynical religious crowd. Leave it to Drake to deflate the awesome groove this episode was in. Thankfully; there are only four more times I will have to write these catchphrases and then I can retire it forever. Unless I rant on comics and the Kaboom era. Cloud of smoke and he appears; more full of himself then ever. I see that Satan loves purple lasers too as we shoot, dodge and insult Satan. It is insulting to call him a Netherword Ninny; when Satan is from Hell and not from Michigan. Drake gets behind the lesser devils and they get sprayed with the out of nowhere fire extinguisher and it burns. That's actually good psychology; but it would have been better if he used water balloons and pay off the catchphrase. Maybe he still will as Gosalyn cheers for either Drake or his death. I'm hoping that it's the later as Drake does the LEAD GRIP KUNG FU KICK OF DEATH and another lesser devil goes sailing into hell. So Satan then shows Drake flames and the flames reveal Morgana tied to some rock. Satan proclaims that he would let her go if he took his place. Wait; what? Before Satan can even think of threatening her with hell; Drake submits without a second thought. Morgana protests this; but it's too late as both lovers switch places as Drake is now tied to the rock. Gosalyn is PISSED and uses her zap fingers to turn GT big. And now I realize why everyone complained and got this episode blacklisted: Drake sold his own soul to the devil to save Morgana's life. That is actually very selfless on Drake's part; but since Satan is involved it's also it's evil and it brainwashes children into thinking that selling your soul to the devil is bad. The irony of that is; almost everyone has already done that by being consumers for corporations. The rest did that by being atheists and not believing in this bullcrap. Either way; we humans suck at keeping our souls.

So Beelzebub snaps his fingers and deflates GT into nothingness and reminds Gosalyn where her power came from as we get a sequence of the gates of hell closing and dropping into the depths of hell. Molo proclaims that her quest of easy magic has doomed Drake since Drake decided to save Morgana on his own free will. Morgana asks if she really knew about this and Gosalyn insists that she didn't know because he thought he was the janitor. McHex sees this as enough to call Gosalyn innocent and therefore Satan breached his contract. Like Satan even cares about that? If there was a binding contract; then that completely voids the notion that Satan is beyond evil since it implies that God is responsible for his existing (which is actually the case in the bible; but never let the bible get in the way of some good old fashion fear mongering). In other way; there is a chance Drake can be saved; but it will actually take hard work. So Gosalyn rolls up his sleeves and it's time to get magical. So we scene change into hell as we walk down the spiral mountain of hellfire as Satan blows off Drake for killing his business with his crime fighting. Except that Drake never seems to be able to kill anyone and the ones who got killed did it to themselves. Come on Satan; you think we kids are stupid enough to buy that?! Drake tells him to bring it on which is probably the worst response to ever give to someone that calls himself Beelzebub. Okay; so how is Drake going to get tortured in the depths of hell? Odds makers if you please...

[1.] Boiling In Oil: 5:1
[2.] Being Brainwashed Into Being a Hell Servant For Michael Eisner: 3:1
[3.] Being Scar's Double When He Dies in The Lion King: 5:1
[4.] Being Beelzebub's Wife: 10:1
[5.] Watching Television on An Island With The Muddlefoots: 666:1

If you answered #2; you are...A LOSER! Because it's so obvious that he is going to make him watch television with the Muddlefoots forever. The hint is in the odds people! So obvious..and I am so damn good. Satan Herb is AWESOME as Drake panics like mad. Too bad Beelzebub's contract is considered null and void by everyone else and we actually fade to black while Drake is screaming. WHAT FOR? It's just like Michael Eisner to ruin the whole damn sequence since it already happened to a pathos scene in Save The Tiger. So we return to the lab with Aunt Nasty and Uncle Globby are putting items into a shopping cart. So Molo and McHex are to a blackboard calculating as Morgana is watching Gosalyn stir the brew. Gosalyn proclaims that it stinks and Morgana blames it on monkey drool. Gosalyn blows it off and is not licking the spoon. So we scene change to the theater as Globby and Molo dump the pot of purple gross stuff into the ground and up comes the gates of hell again. Gosalyn and Morgana have evil intentions as they are going to catch the liar in the act. So Beelzebu and his minions from hell are cheering for Drake's demise and it's time for bigger and better things. Gosalyn and Morgana blow him off and appears as news reporters. Oh; this might be fun. Satan is giddy as Morgana demands a picture with the duck and Satan bails and returns (at the speed of flames) as Drake is hung upside down like a swordfish. Kit Cloudkicker's favorite tied up position. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... So the devils all pose for the camera and we get the XENON FLASH OF DEATH to burn their eyes. Could have been funnier if Gosalyn took the picture with the bow tie camera. Then Gosalyn flings Drake like in Final Fantasy IX and the heels all get knocked silly and Drake is free.

However; there's a problem as we are about 30 feet below the floor of the theater which Morgana helpfully points out. Come to think about it; why did BS&P have the gates of hell rise thirty feet below ground? Why not rise all the way. It's not like the result would have been any different. Satan has his baking powers on full blast; but then out of nowhere comes the Eggplant Wizard Reject who wants some kissy-kissy stuff. Okay; this makes no sense because Gosalyn created that creature and Satan could have easily snapped his fingers and kill it. Sadly; he just runs away stage left and we do the eye scene changer back outside the academy. Sigh; I'm betting BS&P was involved because the finish should be Satan snapping his fingers and the creature blows up making Satan fly away with the lips attached to his face. Which is completely pointless to BS&P since the episode would be blacklisted anyway. So we wrap it up as Gosalyn apologizes for messing up her special day which Morgana seems to take that well for the most part. She also apologizes for endangering Drake's soul and Drake proclaims that he must come up with a punishment so beyond the pale because she already screwed up his best stuff with the bathroom explosion incident. It has to be MAJOR and Gosalyn panics because Drake has banned her from reading comics. Drake walks away as Gosalyn follows him arguing like a little kid and that ends the episode at 21:12. Lame finish and Hanho Heung Up mistakes aside; this was a really great episode that would pretty much seal the fate of the show. I guess Drake learned nothing from what happened to Kit Cloudkicker after Plunder and Lightning. Figures; knowing Drake. **** 1/2 (90%).


Well; we finally got the "banned" episode in the books (and apparently; it's STILL banned as of this writing.) and it was a really entertaining fun episode. Yes; there is a moral which is: Don't do things the easy way; or you lose your comic books forevermore. And that can be devastating to the human psyche. Sadly; Darkwing Duck's really awesome selfless act (say what you can about Drake; but he saved Morgana. You got to admit that) is going to be seen as Anti-Christian because he was willing to sell his soul to the devil for someone who was clearly a Pagan and to that washed up crowd; that's so evil and unforgivable. Sadly; entertainment doesn't follow the "15,000 Frenchmen cannot be wrong" fallacy (or any logical fallacy because if it did; the business would die before it got started because of the first question asked: What's the point? And watch the most irrational statements ever since entertainment is only useful in amusement and you don't need amusement to live. Anyhow; the show was a riot with everything clicking; although Satan deceiving Gosalyn required some contriveness to make it work since in any other episode; Gosalyn would have noticed the deception easily. Drake was his usual smooth self and Morgana was as hot as any character could be on this show. And the Devil Herb/Binkie spot in hell was hilarious; albeit so obvious. The finish could have been better because it was BS&P'ed since the Eggplant Wizard Reject was Gosalyn's creation and should be easy to kill by Satan since he did it earlier with another one also created by Gosalyn. And Hanho-Heung Up was sloppy in places. So overall; this was another awesome episode in a series of them for Morgana and there is still one more episode left for Morgana's family which by the way is the second last episode and final appearance for them and NegaDuck.

Until then; next up is either Paint Misbehavin or Fraudcast New or Clash Reunion (since this is Labor Day weekend; we do four episodes instead of three); don't know which order I will be doing them. So I have the return of Splatter Phoenix; the final appearance of Sparky (and any of the Fearsome Four outside of NegaDuck); or the debut of The Bugmaster and Gosalyn turning heel on Drake for real. I cannot decide right now; so it will be decided tomorrow. I need a walk. So....

Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time!


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