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Just Another Codeword for "DTVA is Doomed"...
Well here we are; the final episode of the series. I'm amazed that I was able to keep my composure and finish what I started considering my "I HATE DRAKE" status when I started five years ago. I don't have much to say about our final episode which is basically one of those stories that I cannot wrap my head around. I just hope that it doesn't suck. So; let's rant on shall we...
The episode is written by Dev Ross and Tad Stones. The story is edited by Tad Stones. The animation is done by Hanho Heung-Up Company Limited.
We begin this one outside of a museum AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we head inside as the GANG OF GAG is looking at a big ass bug inside some hard orange substance. There is a professor with balding gray hair and beard wearing all white with glasses on explaining that the orange substance is tree sap known as amber which causes the bug to be preserved for a very, very long time. Drake gets on the professor's case because he doesn't want to waste time on natural history; he wants to bust some crooks. Professor explains that he has a mystery that only Drake can solve as we cut to a shot of something under a vanilla cloth as Drake cuts a full of himself promo. Professor claims that his sources claim that Drake is a goof. HEE HEE! We uncover the mystery and it's "Drake In Amber" sans mask. Remember that for the ending later. So we head back to the bridge as the babyfaces are on the wires of the suspension bridge riding in the Rat Catcher. We do a flip and a three point landing inside Darkwing Tower as Gosalyn is giddy and bails because they are going to see dinosaurs and she needs a cage. Why? I have no idea. Launchpad notices Quackerjack's Time Top and wonders if this is such a wonderful idea. Drake proclaims that he has no choice because he cannot rest until he figures out who is in the amber. Like I care as Gosalyn comes back with the cage as we discover that she wants a dinosaur for a pet. HA! Would it be a surprise if I said Drake no sells because she's staying home? Didn't think so. Gosalyn points out that if Drake get ripped to shreds by dinosaurs the size of tire irons; who would take care of her. Launchpad backs away from the Time Top wanting to stay home and even Drake decides that she will tag along anyway she can get so he accepts bringing her along. Gosalyn is giddy because she is going to film embarrassing footage of Drake getting his ass kicked by dinosaurs. So we scene change to the Time Top spinning with lightning bolts and red/black jackhammer aura to waste some time before the Time Top lands in a semi jungle field.
The Time Top stops spinning and opens up as Drake pops out and tells LP and Gosalyn to be extremely careful. That is like inviting death there DW as Gosalyn and Launchpad pop out as well. Drake has his gas gun on the ready to make someone suck gas and then Drake panics. We discover that Gosalyn forgot to charge the batteries on the camera and thus the attempt to make Drake look bad has been rejected. Geez; I wonder if Drake drained the battery on purpose just to make sure Gosalyn wasn't going to deflate his ego. Drake gets out the map and blows off Gosalyn for trying to shorten his life span. Yeah; the bumps, concussions, flattening and being made into an international object didn't shorten his life span; no, it's panicking after Gosalyn comes out with the camera complaining about the battery that shortens the life span. Got it. So we follow the map stage left after the scene changer. So they walk and then stop at where the amber block had originally been (which is kind of pointless because real life would have probably had the block miles away by now do to various weather stuff). We zoom out and all three babyfaces get WARNERED~! Sadly; it's only a slightly more dangerous free fall into the river than in Ducks of Nature. Then we hear dinosaur roaring and see a pink duckbill dinosaur as Drake panics claiming that they are now a dinosaur chew toy. Gosalyn points out that it's going to be all right because in theory; these dinosaurs are plant eaters. The shadow does make her question such theory as we then see the dinosaur put glasses on. WHAT?! Yes; we are supposed to buy that the dinosaurs in this world have IQ's of over 250 and wear various stuff that wasn't invented until many years later. I call it the Flintstone Effect. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
And the dinosaur talks and the ducks are shocked. The dinosaur keeps up the shocking pace by bailing because he needs a net. Drake is surprised until he realizes what codeword net means and the babyfaces get captured in the butterfly net as the dinosaur is now wearing a white shirt and green/gray bow tie. I suspect Dev Ross had watched too much The Land Before Time/Flintstones and decided to combine the two. Ironically; Dev Ross did at least one Land Before Time sequel after this; although I'm not certain which one(s) she wrote. We discover that his name is Doctor Denton after Drake blows him off for acting all science like. Sadly; Lady In The Cake didn't state the voice actor for Denton. Apparently; The Council of TechnoSaurs is going to be impressed with his findings as Denton hooks the butterfly net against a knot hole in the tree. The council of Tech....WHAT?! Denton weighs Gosalyn for fun as he relates to a story about stopping the multiplication of some hairy apes who used tools and he and Doctor Bumprock murdered them basically. Yes folks; this planet was over run by dinosaurs somehow. How they came back; I don't know. Jurassic Park didn't exist in movie form until 1993 anyway. So Denton carries the butterfly net as Drake calls Denton Godzilla which makes no sense since Godzilla is just a giant ass sized lizard as he claims that they are not mutants (FACKING BULLSHET!!) and that they came from the future. Denton laughs that one off as he makes it to the car. Yeap; this is a spoof of The Flintstones; if the dinosaurs were the humans. Drake proclaims that dinosaurs didn't evolve; they went extinct which shocks Denton and LP calls it a touchy subject. Of course it is LP; any subject that states the demise of your own kind is bound to be really touchy. The babyfaces get thrown into the back of the car and we drive off as Denton asks how they didn't exist anymore and Drake claims that it was a massive ice age that froze them to death. I guess the Meteor theory didn't do any damage at all. That has to be one wimpy meteorite. Denton blows it off claiming that they wore coats to protect themselves. When the dinosaurs can see right through Drake right from the start; you know we humans are dumb.
Drake wants Gosalyn to help him and Gosalyn claims that a meteor fell on them as Denton blows that off too because a big rock couldn't fall on all the dinosaurs. Of course the theory is that both events killed a lot of life on the planet including the dinosaur; but let's let the dinosaur enjoy their ignorant bliss for now. We discover that the dinosaurs have build their version of Saint Carnard too! And we go into town as Denton explains that technology runs the world instead of government. The motto: Improve it; or move it! We also discover that the roads are made of tires and wheels of the car are made of concrete. The name of the city is Duckbillville. LAME-O! It should be named Opposite Carnard. We also see a elevator building where the building is the elevator and a car phone where a bellhop dinosaur is on the sidewalk near a payphone and he answers the phone and runs with it to Denton as it's for him. There is a long phone wire too as Denton grabs the phone from the running bellhop (Jim Cummings) and it's Mr. Bumprock. The meeting his been moved to earlier as Denton gives the phone back to the bellhop and the bellhop springs back into the pay phone off-screen with no bump present. Sigh. Launchpad claims that car phones are killers. NO?! REALLY?! That is what everyone is saying about the car phones dooming Nintendo (even though most of the damage is being inflicted on Sony and Microsoft). So we head inside a conference room (with wooden table and chemical set) as a smaller green/bluish duckbill dinosaur who appears much older pounding the table with a mallet as we come to order on the discoveries of the day. He then addresses Doctor Fenchu (Not Doctor Feinberg as Lady In The Cake claims him to be) who is a pink duckbill dinosaur with a white shirt and tie. And this dinosaur is female; and if it wasn't the doctor's gear she was wearing, she would the dinosaur equivalent of Shellsea. She introduces the self clean oven which is sadly stuck in the rinse cycle as she opens it and water and various clothing washes her clean as a whistle. HA! Drake is not amused as well.
The elder dino tells her not to be discouraged as he we discover that it's Mrs. Bumprock as she is a female yellow duckbill dinosaur with red trim glasses and a white lab coat. We see Bumprock have a pitcher of orange liquid from a tree she planted and proclaims that tree sap is the way of the future as this sap is sticky to the feet (which partially explains how Kit Cloudkicker can stick to an airfoil and surf without handles.) when she struggles to walk to the table. This must be the amber we saw at the beginning of the episode; only it's semi-liquid. Bumprock then wipes some of the tree sap on her face as it's a facial moisturizer to her. HA! Drake blows this all off because this dinosaurs are ass backwards and that proves that they went extinct. Is Drake implying that Kit Cloudkicker's life was just plain luck? I'm guessing that is a yes. Denton is not happy to hear that as we discover that the elder guy is Sigland Freud who is telling him to keep the mutations under control. Drake then walks on the table because we have gone eight and a half minutes into this episode and Drake has not done something REALLY STUPID; and Drake doesn't like waiting it seems. He blows off Sigland for calling him a mutant (if you can talk and you have chimera traits; then yes, you are a mutant.) and then blows off all of this ass backwards stuff. Oh come on Drake! The self cleaning oven does have it's uses as Fenchu dares him to ask where the fabric softener is used. Some of the dinos tease murdering them because they are snippy and could multiply as Gosalyn and Launchpad run to Drake and tell him to shut up. Good luck on that Gosalyn; not even cancellation can shut this guy up. They talk about Drake's clothes and Drake explains that it's a disguise used to fight crime. Drake wants to leave because he thinks that there is no crime in Duckbillville. However; they are stopped as Sigland admits that there is one small problem. And then cries and begs for mercy because Johnny T-Rex is coming. UH OH! You just knew that this paradise was too good to be true...
...this leads to a long sequence of everyone bailing as a motorcycle (with concrete wheels) burns rubber (in a sort of opposite way) down the street as Drake comes out with the VOICEOVER OF DOOM claiming that regardless of eon; no one can get away with crime when DARKWING...DUCK is around. Drake is in the middle of the street as Launchpad isn't so sure since they are really big. Drake proclaims that they will fall harder. Problem is that they don't fall so often as we see the dinosaur gang is all here. Logic break: In the earlier shots it appears the blue dinosaur is riding first; but just before they get off; it's the orange one who makes it first. Minor; but still annoys me. The orange dinosaur with blond hair over his eyes and has a red shirt on. The red dinosaur has a tiny dog ear green helmet and a blue coat and a dumb smile. Leave it to the dumb guy to know safety first! The blue one is wearing a skull black hat and black leather coat. Orange dinosaur asks who the anthro ducks are and the blue one calls them appetizers and flashes his dinosaur teeth to end the segment 10 and a half minutes in. This in a major surprise has been a decent episode thus far.
After the commercial break; we see the blue dinosaur take off the second black glove (as the first one is off already) and is happy for the snack tray. Blue Dinosaur tries to chomp on ducks; but Drake uses the cape and smoke (AND THAT'S BAD FOR Y...Oh never mind; I retired that joke already!) as they disappear. Ah; the old smoke teleport as blue dinosaur blows off the smoked meats. So then the cloud of smoke and he appears for the absolute last promo pre-Kaboom! era at 10:39...
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the limestone that petrifies your bones.
Yawn. Just MURDER him already Dinosaur Trio Gang! Note that the motorcycle is much bigger than Drake is. That should tell you how much he sucks right there. Orange dinosaur calls him a thingy as Drake blitzes in, and bounces off the rubber street (hilarious considering the amount of blowing off he did on said streets.) and tries the LEAP GRIP KUNG FU WEBFOOT DROPKICK OF DOOM; and blue dinosaur no sells as I expected him to do. Drake crumbles into rocks and then reforms on the ground. HAHA! We discover that the blue dinosaur is Johnny T-Rex. Johnny T-Rex is voiced by Chick Vennera and according to the USIMDB: Born in Herkimer, New York, Chick Vennera's career in entertainment had an early start. Beginning dance lessons at the age of three, piano at seven, clarinet and saxophone shortly thereafter, Chick found his passion at a very young age. Chick continued his musical education throughout high school, singing and playing in nightclubs as well as school dances. Upon graduation, Chick left New York bound for California to study acting at the esteemed Pasadena Playhouse. Two years later, Chick entered the Army where upon completing basic training he was assigned to the signal corps. It was while in the signal corps that Chick won the Third Army Entertainment Contest and was reassigned to Special Services and later the Third Army Soldier Show. Chick spent the balance of his military commitment singing, dancing and playing music for the troops. After completing his military commitment Chick returned to the West Coast where he continued to work as a musician playing in various nightclubs in the Los Angeles area. It was during this time that he auditioned for the Academy Award winning choreographer Onna White who was choreographing Disney On Parade. Chick spent the next two years touring the United States, Canada and Mexico performing as a dancer, acrobat and clown portraying many Disney characters. After the Disney tour, Chick worked with director/choreographer Joe Layton dancing and working as a back-up performer for Raquel Welch and the Sid and Marty Croft Review, in Las Vegas and Lake Tahoe. During this time Chick went to New York to audition for a new show called "Grease". Chick won the role of "Sonny" and performed first in the "Bus and Truck" Tour, and then later in the second National Tour. When "Grease" broke the record of longest running musical, Chick performed the role of "Sonny" on Broadway.
After leaving the "Grease" tour, Chick again returned to Los Angeles where he began studying at the Beverly Hills Playhouse with acclaimed director and teacher Milton Katselas. For the next two years, Chick acted various rolls in film and television until he returned to New York to do the play "Jockeys" directed by Milton Katselas. Chick was awarded the Theater World Award for his role as "Angel" in "Jockeys". Back in L.A., after "Jockeys", Chick starred in "Thank God It's Friday" where, as "Marv the Leather Man", he performed the now famous dance on seven cars in the parking lot of a Hollywood discotheque. Casting director Marion Dougherty, who had seen Chicks performance in "Jockey's", asked him to audition for the role of "Danny" opposite Richard Gere and Vanessa Redgrave in the WWII love story, "Yanks" directed by John Schlesinger. This began Chick's work as an actor in more than 50 films, including "The Milagro Beanfield War" directed by Robert Redford. Chick's voice can be heard portraying characters in many animated television series, including Steven Spielberg's Emmy Award winning "Animaniacs", in which Chick created the voices for "Pesto" and "The God Pigeon". In addition to acting, music, dance and voice-overs, Chick has written and directed for television, stage and film. Chick has also worked as a singer and songwriter for radio, television and film. Chick expanded his resume to include teaching. Under the guidance of acclaimed director and teacher, Milton Katselas, Chick taught for over a decade at the esteemed Beverly Hills Playhouse before starting his own school, The Renegade Theatre Group, in June 2009. In addition to the Theater World Award, Chick has received the Golden Eagle Award and was part of the ensemble cast awarded the Daytime Emmy for "Animaniacs". Chick is a member of the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences. He began with Lucas Tanner as Roach in 1975. Darkwing Duck is his DTVA debut and he also appeared in Bonkers as Moe and Toon Rooster. Glass Trap is his most recent credit. He has 64 titles to his resume and he also wrote Vega$, and was a unit director for Crash Drive, Maximum Revenge, Friend Of The Family II and was a director in Angels In Training.
He also introduces his gang members Throttle and Mudflap. They wave hello and I'll take a wild guess that Throttle is the orange dinosaur and Mudflap is the red one since throttles are thin and mudflaps are wide. I'm sure that I'll get this wrong soon enough. So Throttle and Mudflap are order to MURDER those ducks as Drake dodges Throttle and he face plants. Well; these dinosaurs aren't mental giants that is for sure. Drake walks over Throttle's back and right straight into Mudflap's mouth. We proceed to do the tease beheadment of Drake; which Drake's head pops into the suit and then comes out. This is kind of stupid when you just did a crumbling like a rock spot on-screen a few minutes ago. Drake blows him off with two words: breath mint. Two words to Drake: You're fired! Need I say more? Drake bails over Throttle's body and we invoke the elevator building as Gosalyn pushes the elevator button and we go up as Throttle flies off the building and crashes into Mudflap somehow. Then Launchpad proceeds to run over their tails with Denton's car. Drake somehow teleports over to in front of them and brings out the gas gun to make them suck sneezing gas and we fire. The bullet's path is hilarious because it goes through them and then it explodes causing them to sneeze. The SNEEZING WIND OF DEATH pushes Drake into Johnny T-Rex and he is thrown into the building and breaks the wall much to the shock and appall of the TechnoSaurus Council. Sigland has his fingers in his mouth for good measure. Gosalyn comes over to hold hands with Drake as Drake cuts another full of himself promo which Gosalyn calls him out on. HA! Launchpad then notices that Johnny is getting up and everyone gasps. Johnny is impressed with Drake as he decides to spare Drake and the babyfaces; in favor of eating the TechnoSaurs themselves. Ooookkkkkaaayyyyy. All the dinosaur babyfaces faint on cue by the way as they do a screwed up domino spot beforehand.
So we scene change to inside the Council room as Johnny is mixing Sigland in a bowl with other ingredients as Throttle is cutting carrots into the bowl. Johnny claims that he feels zesty today as Sigland slumps into the bowl while Throttle pours in a can of tomato soup. Denton is just standing there doing nothing and the babyfaces are standing at the door. WHAT THE HELL? No tie up spot on ANY of them? I mean the babyfaces are at the door for goodness sakes. Why don't they just huddle the ducks together with the other TechnoSaurs so at least they have a less chance to escape? God I hate this Cartoon Duck Syndrome sometimes. Thankfully; this is the last episode where CDS becomes a huge problem. Quack Pack's problems go much, much deeper than merely cartoon ducks. Launchpad wants Drake to do something and Drake cuts another full of himself promo. Gosalyn then bullies Drake (oh; the irony?!) because you cannot out macho a T-Rex. Isn't machoism "toxic" anyway? Drake shrugs it off and walks to Johnny who is at the table sitting down with a fork and knife. Drake demands that they leave the dinosaurs alone; but Johnny no sells because he comes for the technology and to have dinosaur food. Johnny bangs the table and demands new discoveries. So Doctor Fenchu wheels in the self cleaning oven as it has been modified per Drake's orders. This is NOT going to end well for her as she takes the turkey out of the oven and it's bathing in bubbles. HAHA! Mudflap tries to eat the turkey; and it doesn't taste good. Drake blows off Fenchu for not baking it. Ummmm; you should have told her to roast it since that is what you do with turkeys in the oven, you vain, full of yourself duck!
Anyhow; Denton pleas for mercy and assistance as Gosalyn no sells because it's a T-Rex with teeth bigger than hers as demonstrated with the nail file he uses to smooth out his teeth. Launchpad suggests challenging his to arm wrestling and Gosalyn's eyes light up on the challenge part. Oooookkkkaaayyyy. So we have Bumprock demonstrating the tree sap as an insect repellent and the insects do the exact opposite. Uh huh. Johnny is mad now and he wants to eat duckbill dinosaurs right here and right now. He stalks the timid dinosaurs; but Drake gets in front of them because he has to be REALLY STUPID again. Isn't it funny that Johnny is the only one who is in on the "from the future" thing that everyone else ignores? Johnny butts heads with Drake and flashes his teeth asking what those consequences are. You kicking Drake's ass would be one; one that I wish would happen already?! Drake comes up with the excuse of the condiments; so Johnny decides to eat the ducks instead. HAHA! Real smooth move Drake Mallard! Gosalyn butts in and claims that Johnny will murder him into a bloody pulp (man; how many times has she said that in this series? And how many times did anime purists cringe when they heard it?) and Drake covers her mouth and stammers like an idiot. Hilarious logic break: Drake lets go of the mouth and blows off Gosalyn. When Gosalyn apologizes; she acts as if the mouth is covered. I wonder if the original scene was supposed to be Drake covering Gosalyn's mouth longer and BS&P caught wind?! So Gosalyn has a challenge for Johnny and Johnny admits that this could be interesting. Gosalyn wants Drake to challenge Johnny to a motorcycle race. That's right folks; this series' climax involves a motorcycle race. And people accuse Baloo of getting involved in Flintstone-ish plots?! Never mind that this is set basically in Bedrock; only it's Opposite Bedrock. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Johnny laughs this and the loser must leave Duckbillville forever. Oh; if you cannot guess the finish a mile away then you have no business reading this rant. Johnny accepts the challenge and proclaims that no one can out-race his gang. It's still nice to hear the word gang in the correct context these days. They would be Team Dinosaur Cycle in 2012; which is stupid and pointless because they are still thugs. Johnny tells everyone that they race tomorrow and until the race is over; no one eats. Most so Throttle as he is pulled away from the Sigland Special much to the relief and laughter of Sigland. Dammit! Johnny is just as bad of denying one's meal as Drake is with Launchpad. So we head outside (and yes the pollutions levels are worse in this city than in Saint Carnard as demonstrated in the background) as Drake and Gosalyn are walking together and they both embrace as we hear that the Rat Catcher has been modified to be a motorcycle by the dinosaurs and Launchpad. LP claims that we have a problem as we see the new Rat Catcher and it looks like an ordinary motorcycle. So why is THAT a problem? Is Drake so vain that he cannot handle a motorcycle? Denton proclaims that he wanted it improved or moved. Drake and Gosalyn panic as we end the segment 17 and a half minutes in. And by the way; WHAT IS THEIR PROBLEM?! The modifications look perfectly fine to me. It's not like Johnny's rig is any different or anything. I would say Drake now has a chance since they use the same technology. I'll never understand CDS at all. Well folks; five minutes to go and this series is over...Deep breath...here we go...
After the commercial break; we pan over to the starting line as the dinosaurs hang around on the sidewalk as we see The Rat Catcher Mark II at the starting line as Gosalyn tells Drake that he still has a chance; despite being astronomically small. HAHA! Drake blows her off for that lack of morale boost as Johnny, Throttle and Mudflap have their bikes at the starting line. So yeah; it's 3-1 despite the fact that they agreed to have Johnny and Drake race one on one. I guess they are there to keep LP and Gosalyn at bay. Johnny tells Drake that he'll see him on the buffet table as we get a shot of a starter's pistol and the hand looks like Johnny's when it is shot. Take a picture of that; this is the only bullet shooting gun in season three that actually shoots bullets. AND WE ARE OFF~! To redo the third act of Maid In The Myth only dumber and less epic. It just doesn't have the same ring to it when there is no Mrs. Beakly to sing opera style. So as expected; the three heels create a wall to keep Drake in fourth place. Drake is truly Canadian. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gosalyn pressures him to step on it; but Drake is having problems as Launchpad admits that the tree sap might be jamming the gas and Drake is SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order). As Gosalyn would say complete with Gruffi pose...
Gosalyn: Great! Just smear me with mustard, and point me at the kaiser rolls!
And I'm certain that there will be at least one pervert who thinks this is MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH too! Drake finally gets the gas unstuck and we ride to another cardboardish background (Trust me; this will get even worse in Quack Pack) as Throttle uses the tail whip. It's super effective against lamp poles as they barricade the right fork in the road. There's the symbolism of Republican and WASPS all in one fell swoop. Just amazing. Drake decides to take the left fork as Gosalyn blows him off for going the wrong way. Drake retorts and jumps off the back of Bumprock in the middle of the road trying to get her hat back. And you thought the Character Economy Syndrome was BAD in this episode? Drake flies over the heels and overtakes first place easily as Johnny blows him off. Time to CHEAT TO WIN Johnny; your non-cheating wall of dinosaur has failed badly. So they get near LP and we bump as Launchpad is pouring the last of the tree sap into the hose. Throttle gets in perfect position to allow Gosalyn to steal the bucket and pour tree sap over his head and Throttle is off the road and smacks into a palm tree. So we continue the race up the mountain and around it as Mudflap decides to take over second place and try his hand in screwing Drake over. Mudflap bumps Drake and Drake blows him off for being unoriginal as Mudflap is so dumb to not be able to turn left and he runs off the cliff. Yeah sure writers; the dumbest dinosaur goes second last and has a brain fart. Whatever; this series is almost over anyway. The only purpose for that spot is to do a Wily E. Coyote spot and bring out half of the forest into the ground complete with the bump WITH CHEESE AND BACON. So we head to the top of the volcano as the ducks get there first and Gosalyn and Launchpad are happy since it's all down hill from there. So symbolic of DTVA after TaleSpin isn't it folks?!
So Johnny is at the top and has the spike club (speaking of unoriginality) as the RC Mark II drives down the hill to fetch a pail of Dino Nuts. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Johnny nails the road with the spike club and pops it because it's just one big tire after all. So the road gets much rougher and the entire RC Mark II breaks apart. Yeah; that is so backwards. Thankfully; Johnny is so dumb that he drives on said rubber road and his motorcycle crumbles to dust like a Final Fantasy IV Elemental Archfiend. Now THAT is a good payoff! So we race on foot as the GANG OF GAG retakes the lead as Johnny stomps from behind; but he trips and he turns into a wheel as Gosalyn and Launchpad dodge the blue dino wheel; but Drake doesn't as he is riding on Johnny the Blue Wheel and they use the conveniently placed palm tree to ramp off the mountain side. We fly into the air; and where they land, I don't really care. Drake jumps off as Johnny bounces off the elevator building despite the fact that earlier in the episode; he crumbles into the wall of a building. Umm; yeah logic break as usual. Johnny does the Team Rocket exit as Drake twirls around the finish line and lands perfectly in front of it. Not that it matter since Johnny isn't coming back anyway. Drake looks smug as usual; but the dinosaurs seem really happy regardless. So we return to the area where the Time Top is as Drake addresses him as Sir Glumfield. WHAT? Denton addressed him as Sigland Freud earlier on. So that was his nickname?! And how did Drake know that he was Glumfield?! And we still have more than 90 seconds left in this series!! So we shake hands, kiss babies (no we didn't) and exchange notes for the final time in this series. We also exchange goodbyes as Bumprock comes in with a pitcher of tree sap and pancakes. HAHA! Well; she is improving and becoming the sane one of the group.
Drake wants to leave; but LP and Gosalyn panic because the engine is missing. Denton brings it in and he tried to improve it with green leaves. Memo to Denton: This is not what they mean by "green energy"! Drake is pissed off as they are stuck in the dinosaur era. Very symbolic of the new kids mocking us for liking these old dinosaur shows over the cool new ones; without realizing the irony. Then again; they are kids so it's to be expected. So Denton thinks that the Time Top is not controlled by the engine; but by spinning the top and he does exactly that and the Time Top does some rainbow colors and disappears with Gosalyn and LP inside. Drake cannot believe this because he's stuck with some ass backward dinosaurs. Denton thinks that this is rough; and offer Drake some breakfast as he uses the tail whip on Drake and he smacks into the pitcher of tree sap and the tree sap hardens and becomes amber as they pour Drake out and call him a paperweight. And yes folks; this actually shuts him up. HAHA! Now that is a neat ending. Too bad; they screwed up a bit by not putting the mask on at the beginning of the episode when Drake was encased in amber in the museum. It's not like he didn't have the same build. So we get the usual sequence of time passing which is dumb in a way because BS&P RULEZ and Drake must be alive; even though in real life, he would be dead due to lack of air. He would be preserved though. We end this with the professor using a mallet and chisel to break the amber; but no dice. So we are in the museum by the way as Gosalyn and Launchpad run in with the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT and Gosalyn blows off the professor for wasting time. Launchpad invokes the sledgehammer of plot on the amber and it breaks Drake free as Drake is dumbfounded as usual. Drake also apologizes for destroying the priceless amber (Priceless? Riiiigggghhhhttttt Drake. It's freakin tree sap! Useful maybe; but not priceless); but the Professor seems all right with it as he has something else in mind as he uncovers his newest find. It's Johnny In Amber. Yeah; it makes no sense, but whatever, it's the usual "plot twist" thing that logically breaks. It's COMEDY BABEE~! The professor proclaims that they can break this too as we end the episode, season three and the series at 21:07. This was better than it had any right to be; but it still felt that it was just there. Nothing about it was actively bad; just silly. And there were the usual logic breaks and animation mistakes. Call it ** 1/2 (50%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; I don't have much to say about this episode. It had the usual animation mistakes and logic breaks; plus a lame finish I called a mile away and the usual "twist" ending that makes no sense since we never saw Johnny near any tree sap at all. Although the sequence to the ending was great and for once it shut Drake up longer than five minutes (their time). This was basically a comedy version of Maid of the Myth only with dinosaurs and motorcycle racing and it was okay. There was nothing really bad about it; although scenes like the Sigland eating spot (it's not Glumfield; get over it!) looked pretty stupid. Johnny was okay; the dinosaur were semi-fun, Drake was Drake, Gosalyn did have one awesome line and Launchpad was himself. I know that the whole time travel thing makes no sense; but we have done it about five times before this; it was expected. Overall; there was really nothing bad about the episode; it was just there which is better than I expected it to be. Sadly; the whole "reason for dinosaur extinction" never happened as Drake was encased in amber and the focus was on him instead of paying off the whole reason to watch it which was to see if Drake was responsible for screwing up the eon. Then again; not paying off angles would become a trend in future series, so this prepares me somewhat for the Quack Pack episode in 2013.
So that officially ends Darkwing Duck on television. If memory serves me; Gosalyn and Launchpad both appeared on Raw Toonage and I'll be doing the Launchpad segment next weekend in fact. It should be more fun than Scrooge's; but probably not as good as Don Karnage which actually had a neat payoff in spite of the burial of the TaleSpin Sky Pirate Captain. I also believe either Quackerjack or Megavolt do return for a cameo for Goof Troop; but I haven't seen that show in many years and I doubt the three episodes for the Fall Assortment will help him in this regard. I thought season three was great as there were only two thumbs down, four in the middle and seven thumbs up; for a grand total of 44 thumbs up, 33 thumbs down and 16 thumbs in the middle. As I expected; Chip & Dale's Rescue Rangers is the worst of the big five (Gummi Bears, Ducktales, TaleSpin, Rescue Rangers and Darkwing Duck) in terms of ratings (although Ducktales and Gummi Bears had fewer thumbs up than they had in the middle, they also had a lot more episodes and more thumbs up) and it shows you how much they depended on Gadget to get over when she did and how much they depended on Monty to get over when he didn't. Darkwing Duck has more thumbs up than Gummi Bears which is a surprise; but more thumbs down due to Cartoon Duck Syndrome; and four negative star ratings. And I don't need to tell you about TaleSpin's numbers even with the Stud Muffin Scoring System.
I got to give this show a lot of credit. Despite the fact that Darkwing Duck the character was getting old and stale when Season three came about; the writers rose up and decided to try to get Morgana over and did a kick ass job of doing so. I also praise Honker in the Brainteasers episodes and even That Sinking Feeling with the rifle spot. Hot Spells was great in spite of sealing the show's fate after Drake sold his soul to the devil to save Morgana because the Southern Baptists rule the roost here. Despite missing the irony of it all. Launchpad was okay; Gosalyn for the most part was fine. However, on the other hand; Hanho Heung Up shouldn't have been animating; even more so now that I realize who was doing animation for Ruby Spears throughout the 1980's (Hanho). They screwed up spots and the background were like cardboard in many instances. I realize that Ducktales took a lot of flack over the "repeated background sequence"; but at least it look a lot more plausible than this; and Hanho was doing cardboard like buildings in STILL shots. And then there is Dirtysomething which killed Ammonia Pine's credibility (and Sunwoo looked really weak even by their low standards at the time); and Agent Grizzilkoff and SHUSH looked bad for the most part (They look like a two bit rookie organization out to find robbers now) since Season 2 and Bad Tidings almost went neck to neck with Dirtysomething for worst Darkwing Duck episode ever. Star Crossed Circuits and Mutanacy On The Bouncy wasn't good due to silliness and dumb booking decisions. I mean; the last three episodes of this show looked like the show was jumping the shark and becoming persona non grata. I just felt that most of it wasn't bad as much as it was tired which in some respects can be an ugly sign that the show is due for cancellation.
Overall; I enjoyed Darkwing Duck the show; and I don't blame any comic book writer for choosing it over TaleSpin. Darkwing Duck is easy to write for because he's a cartoon duck who is stupid and full of himself. Anyone can do that. It takes half of the genius to make it work and a full genius if you are going to tackle TaleSpin. Heck; look how the writers try to write Kit Cloudkicker. He is beyond hell to write which is the consequence of making him the complex and deep character of the show (and DTVA in general actually). That's why we didn't see a TaleSpin comic; the licensing issues are simply an excuse. The only thing that truly bugs me about Darkwing Duck was those bad habits of not finishing an episode properly; and writing stupid stuff for the sake of it instead of paying off the joke that was set up too. And all of that jackhammering was born here which doesn't surprise me since this show was going head to head with Tiny Toon Adventures which was doing better animation in spite of being worse in the comedy department. But only slightly in hindsight. This is a period of transition as Goof Troop and The Little Mermaid were about to make their appearance along with Raw Toonage on CBS. This is where Disney went from blowing it and not costing them much; to blowing it and allowing Warner Brothers to kick their asses six ways from Sunday as Goof Troop was middling at best, Little Mermaid was only okay as a show but no one cared because it was seen as sequelitis and a disgrace to the "you cannot top pigs with pigs" meme which I have said before was BS. And Raw Toonage didn't even get past 13 episodes as it only had 12. Cartoon Duck Syndrome's damage was starting to take hold at this point and you can blame Darkwing Duck a lot more than any damage TaleSpin and Ducktales could have done. Yes; Rescue Rangers had the worst episode ratios of quality; but that can be placed at the feet of the Aussie stereotype. Those episodes could have easily been saved if Monty wasn't a super mouse. Well; most of them. Darkwing Duck has bigger problems due to Cartoon Duck Syndrome; and the animation which makes TaleSpin look like freakin Lion King. Even with Sunwoo and Wang doing TS episodes.
It all adds up and it only serves to give ammo and creditability to Disney purists; who had no love for television animation in general to begin with. Disney was slowly becoming a real shell of it's former self and despite an awesome effort from Greg Weissman and Gargoyles (which I plan to rant on next year); it was not to be. Gargoyles was really popular; but no one thought it was the real Disney either. At least they didn't pretend that it was. TaleSpin did to a large extent; but damn it; they worked hard to convince a lot of fans otherwise. And we got a really quality cartoon out of it that has aged better than almost all of DTVA. Sadly; TaleSpin's toy sales (the buy rate of television animation) were poor and well; what can you do? Besides Gargoyles; it really wasn't until Kim Possible that they got some of their heat back and Phineas & Ferb is the TaleSpin I wanted TaleSpin to be: A monster Disney show that was so over; it still runs on television and has a huge fanbase. So yeah; I'm rambling and it's time to wrap this baby up. I'm starting to have Cartoon Duck Syndrome. That's beyond the pale horrifying.
So what is next for me? Besides Gargoyles in the summer of 2013 and Raw Toonage on Saturday; I'll be doing prep work for the Fall Assortment. This means that I rant on DVD sets again and I have three episodes of Goof Troop, The "finale" of Kim Possible (So The Drama) and several DVD episodes, several Recess episodes, Fish Hooks and Kick Buttowski. Mostly leftovers and most of them are no more than three rants a piece so they can be done in a weekend or less for each. Then it's Quack Pack in early 2013; followed by Easter Sadism with Fanboy & Chum Chum and The Father's Day Special will be the last five episodes of Teddy Ruxpin. Which is fitting since they all deal with Teddy reuniting with his dad. Sometimes; you just get lucky. After Gargoyles; I don't know what I have planned. I thought about doing Gravity Falls/Motorcity; but I'm just not interested in watching those two shows right now. Either way; it will be a fun time and it's always nice to look at the DTVA in the One Saturday Morning era too. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time!
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