Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series - Phil In The Blank
Reviewed: 06/28/2014
...Check Before You Lose Out On The Deal!
Okay; so we continue on with the Teenage Mutant Hockey Ducks and play some more hockey while Phil gets to be a puppet for Wraith. Does this mean Wraith will stop being useless? Can Len Uhley chant some TaleSpin magic and save us from the crap that I have seen thus far? Or will the power of BS&P and execs deny us some good entertainment? Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode was written by Len Uhley with the story edited by David Wise. The animation is done by Koko Enterprises.
We begin this one with a pan shot of a skyscraper and animated seagulls to an anbandoned burger joint called "Burgers On A Stick"; complete with a sign that shows someone eating a burger on a stick. I wonder why this never caught on? Anyhow; we head inside and it's the Raptorous as Dragonous murders another red robot solider into the wall in rage while Chameleon is impersonating a hippie. Peace dude indeed! Dragonous wrings his neck and wants to kill his spleen as Wraith comes in; and wants to leave. Dragonous gets on his case about the Belium Crystals (which are not the Illiop crystals thankfully) as Wraith calls this a hopeless quest; which Dragonous blows off. Wraith once again is a useless contempable ghoul with a flaming sword. He has to be a parody of Vox Day; there is no other explanation. Seige comes in with a mircochip and suggests finding new engines. Yes; the brawn of the operation is smarter than Wraith who is supposed to be the sage advice. Why bother with Wraith if he is just there to kill the incentive of watching the show? So Siege places the chip into some button on the computer console and smacks the console with his fist about three times which somehow turns on the monitor and shows a picture of a spaceship at the launchpad in launch mode as the male announcer (I'm guessing that it's Frank Welker) is talking about some rocket ship which doesn't really matter what the name is; because Dragonous loves this...for about ten seconds as Wraith points out that the babyfaces will come after him of course; which makes Dragonous look steamed with the CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS. Shut up Wraith; no one cares about what you say anyway! Dragonous proclaims that they are plotting his demise as we speak. Then we segueway to inside the Arrowhead Pond where the babyfaces are on the ice doing hockey practice as we get some passing of the puck; Grin tries the wraparound on Wildwing; but Nosedive checks him into the boards (which is a clean hit by the way). Mallory tells Tanya to shoot; Tanya shoots and Wildwing blocks the shot with ease as we see Phil Palmfeather in the stands talking about ice cream promos on his cellphone.
Now that I think about it; he acts like Paul E. Dangerously only less sexist somehow. Jamoku Duck?! What the hell is that?! I don't think Phil even knows; and he certainly doesn't care because he loves this and he puts the poor guy on hold to blows off the babyfaces for ruining his buzz for a fast buck. You cannot fault Phil for being dishonest about his motives at least; which makes him the #1 babyface by default; even though he is #7 on the pecking order in terms of babyfaces. So the ducks no sell because it's hockey practices; and he tells the guy on the phone to call him back later. Phil hangs up and blows off the ducks for making him look like an fat, angry little white man (Phil: You speak from experience I see!) for not giving a crap about him; and then quits. He storms out of the Arrowhead Pond and goes into his orange car; and then brings out the phone proclaiming that he can now work at peace. So he didn't quit; he just moved to a quieter spot to work. So he is dailing his cell phone and then Wraith appears out of nowhere in the backseat while Phil is doing the sing song on making money. So Wraith acts like a child on Halloween as Phil turns around; and it takes about 30 seconds for him to realize that it's a heel; and then offers to manage him. HAHA! There was also a great moment while Phil calls Wraith Death and Wraith proclaims that he is half dead; as in undead. So Wraith starts chanting the mind control spell of doom as Phil proclaims that no one can control his mind...except for money of course. I wish Wraith would bribe him with money here; just to see Phil's reaction to it. God bless Len Uhley; his writing in DTVA is usually really good (TaleSpin was the best moments for him even if one of his episodes pretty much sealed the fate of the show in general), but he missed a great moment to be funny, and instead Wraith simply presses on Phil's head and red aura flows from Phil's noggin. Ummm; yeah. This is the first time Wraith has been useful besides blowing off plans before they come to fruition and using a flaming sword. Wraith also proclaims that the FORBIDDEN FCC PHRASE OF THE DAY is "roasted duck"; which is good to know.
Wraith goes through Phil's notebook of dates and scans them to make sure that Phil follows Wraith's timetable instead of Phil's own. Wraith also plants a bug on Phil's chest while Phil sells all this as a hopeless zombie who is less sexist than Bonkers. That seems unpossible (sic); but it's true. Wraith disappears in a neon green aura and Phil returns to normal because Wraith's mind control spell only goes into effect when Wraith sezs it goes into effect. Wraith in a span of a minute went from useless load; to an actual decent character. So we return to practice as Tanya has this new hockey tactic to use which is called the Air Hockey something; which involves Grin shooting the puck. Nosedive shoots the puck to Grin and Grin does his Master Splinter impression while looking like a dork. Grin shoots the puck and that puck should go in; but Wildwing makes the block and it bounces off the scorebox and then it bounces some more before bonking Phil in the head just off-camera. This is a classic B&P moment because Phil comes in punch drunk before this and tries to sit in the stands; and then falls over on the chairs in an impossible position because there is no way you can BS&P this with Phil on-camera. So they basically show the puck going into the stands in the general spot where Phil was; and make Phil disappear from the scene before the puck even made it there. In other words; we have to pretend Phil was hit with the Vanish spell from FF6. I CLUB BS&P~! So the babyfaces run up into the stands and find Phil on the seats like a beached whale with his tongue out selling it like he is dead. There is no way that Phil could have taken this shot without actually showing him getting bonked in the head. BS&P found a way. It's also a pointless spot because Phil is already brainwashed; so why bother with this? Then I realize that Phil wakes up about three seconds later and threatens to sue himself for damages. HAHA! Then he checks his head for bumps and sees none and then fake sells a head injury to gain sympathy heat as he blows off the babyfaces. I don't understand why he has to fake a head injury; when a puck can cause considerable damage in real life.
Wildwing actually admits that they screwed up and asks how they can make it up to him; which Phil looks evil because this means that he can sic the public appearances stuff on them. Heh; somehow, sneaky evil Phil is better than whiny, cowardly Phil. So appearance number one has a Frankenstein looking character in a purple fur coat with a microphone announcing in the snowy mountains as it is snowing. It is basically an extreme winter sports show (which means this was about December of 1996 in the timeline) as the announcer sounds like Townsend Coleman trying to do a 1990's era extreme dude voice and failing with each and every second. And since we are in the 1990's the guy has to be in your face. For some reason; I perfer Kick Buttowski's version of it because it was stunt based; instead of promo based. It's one thing to be in your face doing something cool (although Kick is not a cool character, make no mistake about it); but talking directly to the hard camera in your face is much more annoying. So we pan over to the Mighty Duck in the middle of a snowstorm wearing winter gear; except for Nosedive because he is holding a Handglider and looks like a moron (which is his gimmick; so there you go); while Tanya and Mallory are questioning this insanity. So one of the grips tells Phil that the storm is getting too narely (as Nosedive said when exiting stage left with the handglider); as Wildwing proclaims that they must do it for Phil.
Phil actually wants to call it off; but then his cell phone rings and he answers it as we hear Wraith say roast duck; turning Phil into a hopeless zombie. Wraith orders him to make sure the stunts are actually done and Phil obey without question. Zombie Phil is not as awesome as Evil Phil. Zombie Phil tells the grip that the ducks can handle this stuff; so we start filming and the duck start moving out and down the hill. Tanya and Mallory are snowboarding, Duke, Wildwing and Grin are mountain scaling while Nosedive does the handgliding. Somehow; Nosedive does not screw this up, which prompts the sad face from me. So then cut to halfway down the hill as Siege and Wraith are talking about setting volt bombs all over the mountain. Wraith wants to kill the ducks directly; but Siege wants it to look like an accident. Just remember that Siege is the brawn and Wraith is supposed to be the brains; and yet they are acting the exact opposite of their gimmick. So then Seige uses the remote and blows up the slopes causing an avalanche as we see Nosedive from the sky pointing out the obvious to the babyfaces as the mountain scaling babyfaces manage to get to the bottom with the snowboarding babyfaces. Tanya stammers like a fool and Mallory proclaims that the next appearance should be at the Home Shopping Network; so I'm guessing that she hates winter sports as much as she hates machines. So the avalanche goes towards the hard camera and that ends the segment seven and a half minutes in. That was a really short segment; but this has been a good episode thus far...
After the commercial break; we see the snow coming towards the hard camera. The babyfaces simply sidestep in opposite directions to avoid the avalanche completely as Grin punches a large snowball right beside Duke and Grin proclaims that pain is merely an illusion while selling actual pain, sort of. Ironically; the only one who is stupid enough to get into the path of the avalanche is Tanya (the brainiac of the group) as she has to be swept off her feet by Wildwing, who makes the save. Problem is; that the next shot has it as if they were buried under snow and yet Wildwing escapes with Tanya anyway; thus killing the threat level of the spot completely. Nosedive flies around and of course blows the cover of Siege and Wraith outright as Siege proclaims that nobody can see them. So Nosedive rushes in to prove him wrong and Wraith teleports out and Siege sidesteps allowing Nosedive to nose dive into a stray branch on the mountside by his ankle upside down like a complete moron. Wraith blows off Siege for being an idiot (which for once Wraith is completely justified in the blow off); which Siege proclaims that Nosedive is dead. Wraith tells him that he had better make sure of that because Dragonous will be pissed off if they don't get the Mammoth which Nosedive awakes on cue confused. The branch snaps as Nosedive proclaims in roundabout terms that this is going to leave a mark. Yes; on the mountain. Nosedvies lives up to his name as the rest of the babyfaces arrive on the spot unharmed which is the signal for Nosedive taking the bump WITH CHEESE AND BACON into the snow. Nosedive rises up; cuts a drunk promo and then falls back dead. So we head to the launch area as we hear Chameleon cutting a promo while then going inside the rocket ship putting something into the computer console. He is doing a NASA impression while wearing an orange jumpsuit; as if he escaped from prison somehow. I should find this insulting; but this was ironically amusing, so points for Chameleon. When he does generic impressions; they are funny. When he does pop culture impressions; not funny.
Chameleon hot wired the super red joystick of doom and then teleports out; and then appears in the Raptorous with Dragonous. He tells Dragonous that it's all his and to use it in good health, which is poor advice to give to a heel. Dragonous proclaims victory and states that even the Mighty Ducks cannot beat him now, which means that the Mighty Ducks will defeat him with ease. So we head to the medical room as Nosedive to strapped to the same device I saw in Microducks only his head is bandaged and is getting wet towel washing on his face by Tanya. This is like A Fuel Dollars More when Baloo get MURDERED by the exploding gas station; only the blow up was dramatic and the aftermath was part comedy. Here; the bump Nosedive took was a comedy spot; and now the aftermath is full on drama. Tanya even points out that it's a concussion directly; which kills off the comedy bump. Say what you will about Phil's bonk earlier, but Phil's was dramatic and it meant something in spite of the BS&P'ing. We were supposed to laugh at Nosedive acting drunk after taking a bump; and then suppose to feel sorry for him a scene later. It failed as we cut to Phil at the computer console threatening to sue everyone involved in the PR gig for allowing an avalanche to befall on his team. Phil is sounding like Jack Thompson; except Phil is legit funny. So his cellphone rings and he answers it; and we get...The gall of this company sometimes...Wraith is saying roasted duck to turn Phil into a zombie. The background they used looks exactly like the sewers in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Of course; we discover that Wraith is in front of a self storage place on the next shot after Phil speaks like Frog from Chrono Trigger; only he does a better job than Ted Woolsey's translation of Frog. So the orders are to go to 621 Pineview Road for another appearance of course as Phil actually states that they won't go because one of them was injuried. And I should note that Nosedive pretty much did this to himself because he was dumb enough to charge at the heels.
So Wraith tells him that they'll go because it's a school fundraiser; which is extremely low by Wraith's standards. I like it! Oh no; Shellsea, I'm not stealing it this time! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Shellsea: The one time the disco jackhammer stealing was perfectly fine with me and you don't go for it?! Not cool at all Mr. Wiggle!) Zombie Phil is in tears and I now officially take it back: Zombie Phil is officially better than Evil Phil. So the babyfaces minus Nosedive enter the computer room and proclaims that the appearances are completely done for. So Phil embraces Wildwing and cries for the little children as Mallory sarcastically mocks Phil's whining. Oh sod off Mallory! Sure; Phil is leading them into a death trap; but who cares?! WHAT ABOUT THE LITTLE CHILDREN?! Do it for the children dammit! Wildwing then recoils and then proclaims that they will accept going to the school fundraiser to make him happy. Wildwing I think was kissed by Phil as he calls Wildwing a prince. HAHA! Yeah; because if he called him a king; then Phil would have to be the court jester. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Even so; Phil is the "king of fools". AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... So we get the CGI launch sequence as Wildwing doesn't have the mask on for no reason. This takes at least thirty seconds as the Aerowing flies out of the Arrowhead Pond and over the city. So we get the CGI puck scene changer of doom and the Aerowing lands in front of Sid's Diner. Yeah; this is so much a school. Wildwing wants the coordinates rechecked; but then they go inside anyway without bothering to. We get the weirdest bar in history as the whole place is filled with red and gold; with three thugs playing billards and one big ass thug at the counter wiping down a glass; and then spitting into it for fun. The guy is wearing a brown tank top with a red scarf as he blows off the babyfaces with a figure of speech spit into the glass as I mentioned before. Mallory is not liking this; but Phil tells her to play nice, sounding a lot more laughable than Zena saying that to Grubby. Phil proclaims that it is a school with children being held back. HAHA!
So the bartender thug proclaims that they do not serve freaks here. Oh; that is fighting words sir! He is a lot of things but Phil Palmfeather is not a freak. You are projecting yourself here. Phil calls to the thugs at the billard table as they blow off Phil. I soon discover that they are asking directions to the school. What is the point of this then; other than to see Phil get his ass kicked? Which personally; that would be funny as Phil walks in proclaiming that he'll use his people skills to get directions (and to be honest; I'm glad Phil is asking others for directions instead of acting like a toxic manly man and figuring this out by himself); which Mallory proclaims that they are doomed, doomed I SAY! I need a drop of this. Wildwing doesn't want trouble and so Phil greets a thug trying to shoot pool; and his stick digs into the pool table; flipping the white ball up into the air and it lands on the thugs foot; which he proceeds to sell by doing the foot grabbing spot. I cannot take these thugs seriously as threatening heels; because in real life; they would be in pain, but not grabbing their foot overselling it. They would likely bite their lip or make a blow up face instead. Pool Cue Thug (who looks like a Native American fat Rambo) grabs Phil by the throat as Duke protests this outrage; demanding that the Rambo dude let go of Phil. Now he's grabbing him by the jacket. That is so lame it's not even funny. You couldn't have him do a hammerlock on him?! Then we get shooting laser sounds in the background as the entire wall crumbles and in comes Dragonous' robots. Geez heels; great way to expose the fact that you are behind this? They also destroy the ceiling as Thug #1 and Phil duck under the pool table to avoid lasers. The hunter drones come in and surround the babyfaces telling them to surrender at once. Wildwing ponders it over for two seconds; and then blows him off and we get puck shooting and hunter drone crushing for fun. So we see a hanging lamp dangled with a wire as we cut to Phil and the Rambo thug under the pool table as the Rambo thug is supposed to have Phil in a side headlock; but BS&P made it look like the worst one I have ever seen. Like Rocka Khan-equese.
Phil promises that the ducks will stop these robot heels while selling the headlock. DUMB! Seriously; the headlock was nowhere near Phil's chin. Even dumber; Mallory kicks a robot and the kick misses by 18 inches (which begs the question: Did Koko animate Teddy Ruxpin?); but the robot still oversells it and completely destroys the jukebox with a MAN-SIZED bump. So Mallory cannot make contact with her kick to a robot; but you can show the impact of the robot destroying the jukebox. I CLUB BS&P~! Mallory wipes her hands clean of this BS saying that it's music to her ears. Again; I need a drop of this. So Duke is blocking shots with his yellow sword and then slices the arm of a drone for fun; which actually makes contact at least. More drones enter forcing Wildwing to invoke the Ice Shield and then we get a gaping logic break: The drones shoot at the ceiling and the debris comes down and buries the babyfaces. One problem: The ceiling was completely destroyed when they entered; so this makes no sense at all. Apparently; everyone got it even though Wildwing and Mallory were the only two ducks in the shot at the time this was done. The drones go to the pile yelling destroy all ducks; and then I'm proven somewhat wrong because the door flings open and in comes Grin acting as pissed off as a calm person would in these situation. And yes; he's mad because his own peace is disrupted. What a selfish asshole?! And that is one big ass too. POW! OUCH! Ummmmm... Now that was inner peace indeed! So Grin rushes in as the drones fire on him as Grin punches every robot he see and they go flying out of the bar with ease. One problem: When we go to the sky shot; the roof is completely intact before the robots go through it despite the fact that they destroyed the roof in order to get in from the sky. I AM watching Teddy Ruxpin; only I actually care less about the storyline than I do with Teddy. (and no Sheldon; I used the phrase in it's proper context). Idiots! So Grin finishes kicking robot ass and he wipes his clean of this BS; while saying that he's back to inner peace. Riiiigggghhhhtttttt you scoiopath!
So we return to the medicial lab as Nosedive is still in the circular bed chamber still out from the concussion as Tanya is sitting down watching an out of nowhere television. Tanya is watching something as Nosedive is mumbling to himself; and then suddenly wakes up and is yelling that something is wrong. Tanya turns around asking what is wrong as Nosedive proclaims that he saw Siege and Wraith on the mountain top saying that they were going to steal a Mammoth; which Tanya blows off as ficition. The moment after she blows Nosedive off, the announcer on the television shows off the rocket which he calls the Mammoth Rocket. Ooops! Tanya proclaims that this makes sense; and it is amusing that Tanya is the brains of the operation but cannot say ridiculous. So Tanya is about to go to her wrist communicator to call for backup; but Nosedive stops her. Why? Because he's a reckless teenage duck silly! Might as well come him Michael Nosedivangelo now. So they go to the launchpad; and they scene change to outside near the billboard poster (you know which one by now) AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as it opens and out comes two Duck Cycles with Tanya and Nosedive driving them. Why? Why not bring the Migrator out? Is it in the repair shop or something? Anyhow; we then cut to the sky with the Aerowing as Wildwing is driving the thing while at the same time blowing off Phil because he is drawing the line of public appearances. I can see why because: Who in God's name would ever want to have a public appearance in a fireworks factory? Even worse if Nosedive was actually not concussed earlier! Wildwing no sells the public appearance at the fireworks factory; and then Phil storms to the back as his cellphone rings. He answers it and hears roast duck; and turns into a zombie as we cut to Mallory proclaiming that this was no accident at all. The babyfaces all deduce that someone had to set them up; which Mallory claims that Phil did it because he would sell his soul to the devil in roundabout terms. This is actually good heat because Phil is kind of scummy anyway. Grin assures us that Phil is not evil; and then we cut to the back as Phil has a red bladed axe and he's cutting pipes like a maniac. Oops!! Phil of course cannot say kill at all; because he sezs destroy the ducks as Mallory retorts Grin nicely here. The Aerowing then starts to come down slowly towards a desert area and that ends the segment 16 minutes in. Minus the crappy animation and logic; this is actually a decent episode. Now let's see if they really screws this one up...
After the commercial break; we see the Aerowing in a nosedive (oh the irony?!) as we get a repeat shot of Phil destroying the pipes in the back with an axe chanting "destroy the ducks". So not BS&P'ed this was. Grin runs in and takes the axe away; while doing a inverted bearhug which at least looked good. Grin throws the axe away as Duke has the "controls"; while Wildwing then notices that the whites of his eyes indicate that he has been controlled; which Mallory blows off because that would require a mind. And Mallory is supposed to be the brawn woman who doesn't think much. Irony is just so damn ironic sometimes. Yes; Duke cannot tame the Aerowing, which is at least different than Wildwing getting tamed in almost every episode that he is in. So Duke lands the Aerowing safely without doing much damage whatsoever to the machine. Phil breaks free from Grin and protests this outrage as Wildwing proclaims that Dragonous was using him. Well; DUH Wildwing! Phil is angry because he uses people; not the other way around. Wildwing uses the mask to use the red IR which spots the transmitter bug in Phil's coat; and he crushes it to complete the blowing of the cover. So then we cut to the Mammoth Rocket launchpad near the space base as the Duck Cycles are parked at the gate; which has a hole cut in it. Can I ask why it's okay for the ducks to do this; but it's bloody murder when Johnny Ass...ERRR...I mean Johnny Test does the same thing? So we see Tanya and Nosedive climbing the Mammoth Rocket from the ladders as Tanya is actually calling Wildwing which Wildwing demands answers to this. Tanya and Nosedive explain quite plainly (well as plainly as a 1990's kid in Nosedive's case) that they are at the Orbital Base and Dragonous is stealing the Mammoth Rocket. We cut back to Mallory proclaims that this all makes sense (and it does); and then Phil comes in and uses his tie as a bandana because he wants revenge for being used like a ghoul. Look on the bright side Phil; at least you are not quite contempable ghoul like Wraith is. Phil has got to be the hero in the finish; because they are building towards that finish. Anything less would be ungood (sic)!
Phil threatens to make shoes out of those lizards; which I did laugh at. So the babyfaces all go out of the Aerowing; and I discover that the Migrator was in the Aerowing because the hatch in the back opens and out comes the Migrator; which Wildwing states that they will take it. At least it plugs the logic hole of the Duck Cycles; but since when was the Aerowing able to take the Migrator? The Aerowing is at least 1.25 times the size of the Migrator. That doesn't leave much wiggle room; not to mention that Phil was in the back and the Migrator was nowhere to be seen. Bad, bad logic break there guys. So the Migrator drives away and we head back to the Raptorous with Siege telling Dragonous that the babyfaces are headed to the launch area; which prompts Dragonous to yell for Chameleon. Chameleon teleports in and he is channeling Ernie from Seasme Street in having a towel and bath cap on his head while holding the rubber ducky. Even funnier; Frank Welker sounds like Ernie as if he's 70 years old. That was legit funny! Dragonous yells at him to shut up, steals the rubber ducky and orders Chameleon to stop those ducks NOW! Just Chameleon?! And you wonder why Wraith has no faith in you winning any battle against the ducks? Chameleon teleports out and Dragonous looks at the rubber ducky, teasing crushing the little ducky, and then they cut away and head back to the launch area as the Migrator arrives at the gate. Then we head to the control room to see two orange dressed workers who look like constructions workers clashed with prison colored garb noticing the Migrator and then start warning them that this is private property and to turn back. The doors open from the Migrator and Phil comes out to take a look; noticing Chameleon on some roof changing into a general who is as tall as Andre The Giant; if Andre was legit 7' 5". He walks and enters the control room as he yells at the workers who get out of their chairs and salute him. Chameleon is taking charge as he sits down in front of the computer and is controlling the big ass cannon like gun which looks like a bullet shooting gun.
Of course; he blows his cover as he called himself General George S. Chameleon while pointing this gun which Mallory notices right away. Yeah. So Wildwing orders Duke to back the Migrator up and he does so as the cannon shoots a giant red laser towards the ground; but misses by five feet. Which we cut back to the control room as Chameleon continues to be drunk with power; and then Phil opens the door, runs in and grabs Chameleon; who is 7' 5" tall and about 300 pounds; yet Phil picked him up and puts him in a hammerlock legit. Yes; doing it to a babyface is wrong, but it's perfectly okay if the babyface does it to a heel. Chameleon turns back to normal claiming that he was only doing an impression which is not a crime as Phil proclaims that Chameleon will never work in this town again as the babyface run in; and Chameleon teleports out as Wildwing praises Phil for beating the Chameleon; and Phil is surprised, shocked and then he faints dead away on cue. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is the best moment in the series bar none and unless something goes really wrong from here on out; this is the best episode of the series by far. Wildwing orders the construction workers to stop the launch; and the Frank Welker voiced worker goes to the transmitter and orders the launch to be postponed; only Dragonous is looking on and basically sezs "SCREW YOU" and pushes a button on the console and the Mammoth Rocket launches anyway by remote control. Then it hit me: There is a problem with this moment: It was Chameleon who got defeated by Phil (which is great in itself; make no mistake); but Wraith was the one who poisoned Phil's mind. So; shouldn't Phil have defeated Wraith and have Chameleon in the rocket disguised as an astronaunt instead controlling the thing without the remote control. Because; the countdown is just a countdown; the space persons would be the ones to start the engines to control the ship. Now granted; what they booked is not stupid, but it does hurt the redempation of Phil Palmfeather a little bit because Chameleon was defeated; but not Wraith, who was the one who poisoned his mind. Okay?
So the Mammoth Rocket goes into space as Wildwing is calling Tanya and Nosedive from the space; which is a dick move on his part. Nosedive is panicky from the space ship. So the ducks run off and there is a green jet parked conveniently on base. Wildwing gets in as the construction worker points out that it's an untested prototype (which is never a good idea); but Wildwing doesn't care and starts the engines. He then flies the plane up into the sky and then turns around and clips off the radar satellite dish from the roof of the station. Can we have a word about Johnny Test destroying other people's properties with impunity again?! Seriously; you old farts look completely stupid saying that since this is a 1990's cartoon. You know; the so called "Golden Era" of animation you guys claim?! Here we have Wildwing destroying GOVERNMENT property! It might be unintentional and Wildwing did apologize for it; but come on! So we cut back to the Mammoth Rocket as we see Tanya cutting the wires from the joystick control; and that is that. Without any tension; Dragonous has lost again! Tanya proclaims that the good news is that Dragonous is not controlling the rocket. Nosedive asks what is the bad news. Tanya states that now; NO ONE is controlling the rocket. So the rocket is out of control and nosediving (oh; the irony) as Wildwing in the green prototype jet is racing towards the rocket. We cut back to Nosedive blowing Tanya off for not bringing the parachutes; and Tanya acts like she did nothing wrong. Nosedive blows her off in kind as the prototype is within range now. Nosedive then grabs Tanya and jumps into a free fall; which would have made Kit Cloudkicker proud, if this was a better show than it is and if he wasn't in the grave under Michael Eisner's property. Nosedive and Tanya free fall as Wildwing opens the canopy release which causes the canopy to open and Tanya and Nosedive plop right into the back seat unharmed. So Nosedive's plan worked after all as the rocket dives into the water; and since it has the same properties as the Sub Electron Power Ampilifer; the rocket explodes in an explosion on par with the anime sex tape. Muted indeed!
So Wildwing is happy; as is Nosedive prompting Tanya to get in Nosedive's face, blowing him off and giving eye contact violence. Oh sod off Tanya! Thankfully; Nosedive retorts that one for me as Wildwing flies the prototype towards the sun as we do the CGI puck scene changer. Now; I was hoping to see Wildwing try to land the prototype; but we cut to inside the hallway with the babyfaces and Phil. However; we then get a really funny ending to this whole thing: Wildwing is ordering Phil to stop these guest appearances right now; and Phil goes through his time book and whines because he lined up public appearances; including a duck hunt. HAHA! So Mallory pushes Phil towards a closet and he goes in the closet and the doors are sealed shut. This was when Phil realized that the duck hunt was a bad idea; and then realizes that they ditched him; which makes Nosedive and Grin look even weaker in Duck Hard than usual. This was great; but it gets funnier: Phil's cellphone rings and he answers it. Wraith sezs roasted duck again; which Phil completely no sells and blows off Wraith. Wraith then sezs that he knows that and wants to order take out. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is the best Wraith moment ever! So Phil decides to do some ordering as we get a sky shot of the Arrowhead Pond after dark and that ends the episode at 21:06. So I'm guessing five to ten seconds were snipped out. Well; this episode actually rocked, but it could have been even better if the spots would have hit and the continuity was better. Phil was a riot in this one and Wraith was not bad for once. *** 3/4 (75%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Finally; we get an episode where the ducks in this series DID rock instead of sucking! Len Uhley is actually a great writer when he's NOT overwhelmed with BS&P notes and animation errors. Sadly; this is what we got here. We had a really good story on paper which made me love Phil even more and for once Wraith was not a useless load, and even made the funniest ending of the series to boot. That is character development and I'm glad for that. I also loved it when Phil subdued Chameleon when he was a 7' 5" general; and Evil Zombie Phil was kind of neat. The storyline made sense and while some aspects of the story sounded contrived, at least they were believable. The downsides of this were that Koko blew a lot of spots here. I don't know how much BS&P was involved; but I wouldn't be surprised if Mallory's blown kick was a BS&P decision. Nosedive was good, and while Wildwing still acted like a dick; it wasn't nearly as overbearing as some of the other episodes were. What bothered me was the scene where they were going to launch the rocket and Phil subdued Chameleon: It was awesome in itself; but the problem is, it would have been even better if it was Wraith Phil was subduing because it was Wraith who controlled him in the first place. In fact; if they had done that and have Chameleon in the rocket ship teleporting out like a coward; then that would have been better; and actually make the ending even funnier than it already was. General George S. Wraith is funnier than General George S. Chameleon anyway; so why didn't they go for it? If they had rewrote the finish a bit and killed off the animation mistakes with logic breaks; this is a ***** episode without any doubt from me. Phil, Wraith and Chameleon carried this episode to a great one for a change. Now; I won't be surprised if they piss that all away in future episodes, but at least this shows that they could have wrote a great show about ducks playing hockey. Although I would be on cloud nine if they stop having Wildwing being so stupid. That is Nosedive's gimmick anyway. So....
Thumbs in the middle pointing up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.