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Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series - The Return of Doctor Droid
Reviewed: 07/08/2014
...& His Awesome Beheaded Head!
Okay; our next episode up for bid is basically a redo episode of Many Love Is A Splintered Thing; only Phil is Monty this time as Doctor Droid returns to get his revenge on the ducks and human baterica (scum) for my pleasure. So can Mighty Ducks pull a Time Bandit; or will it be as lamer than a B-level TMNT episode from 1989? Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode was written and story edited by David Wise. The animation is done by Plus One Animation and Studio B.
We begin this one with the pan shot from a sign to the Arrowhead Pond; and then inside Tanya's lab as Mallory is using Tanya what is under the white sheets. There are some metal cannisters as Tanya informs us that they are new vehicles called the Duck Luge and the Duck Stomper. Tanya claims that she'll install the engines after lunch as we cut to the Anaheim Mall concrete-walk as we then cut to in front of Captain Comics which some fans wearing Anaheim Mighty Ducks jerseys with purple duck shaped masks on them. Something tells me those jerseys are counterfeit; which is dumb in itself; but it's even dumber when you realize that the guys wearing the jeserys are Nosedive, Duke and Wildwing without their usual gear. Nosedive wants to go into the comic store to say hello to Thrash and Mookey. I know that Thrash is the fat red haired punk who mans the counter at the comic book store; but who is Mookey? I know that we complain a lot about the goofy booking names in modern cartoons (Chum Chum, Fanboy, Sway Sway, Mr. Mufflin, etc.); but where the mockery in "Mookey"? That name is so NO BUYS~! Duke calls them a bunch of losers (YAY!) as Nosedive mocks Duke for calling them as such. So they walk into the store and then get MURDERED with mustard from the super soakers Thrash and a pink haired dark skinned punk like girl wearing a blue jacket and a purple shirt; which I discover is Mookey. Okay; that is so many buys! So Nosedive wipes off "The Goop" from his body which is something the geeks whipped up in chemical labs; so Thrash and Mookey are just playing punks instead of being punks. Who need to learn how to make better booking names. Wildwing wants to leave for practice as the ducks leave; as Thrash tells them that a simple cleaning solution will clean them up; so Duke tells them that they'll be paying for the dry cleaning bill. So we head to the computer room as the sliding doors open and out comes Phil and a woman with brown hair and a peach dress with heels which Phil addresses as Trina. Trina is thrilled to see it as the alarm goes off; so Phil walks over to the console near the doors; and pushes buttons to kill the alarm off.
I should note that Phil's evil face is hilarious; and in a good way I might add. Trina is voiced by Tress MacNeillie as the Lady Bane voice gives that fact away as she is at Drake One and pushes some buttons on the console. Phil and Trina make small talk as she calls him dashing in the most contrived matter possible which indicates that she is a robot. Phil acts all contrived since he doesn't think he should've brought her here. They have eyes for each other; and let's cut away to the rink for practice. I should note that Phil is claiming that he did most of the work in saving the world; and the ducks helped a little, which I thought was giggle inducing. So we see practice and Wildwing taunts the team to get the puck past him; and Grin does his promo and shoots the puck right into Wildwing's chest, which causes him to drop on his back in the process. Wildwing gets up and cringes because it's "past him"; not "through him" is what he meant. Then we see Phil and Trina looking on from the entrance way which the ducks notices and head there. Trina then proclaims that she must go; which Phil calls her a blueberry chocolate chip muffin; which would have worked if she wasn't wearing a peach dress. What? Are you going to tell us that there is no such thing as a peach muffin? Google peach muffins and then come back and try to tell me no such thing exists, dumb writers of the world! Trina then kisses him on the lips; which Phil's lips are sealed during this, and he's charmed. Awwwww; look at the ducks looking shocked, it's so cute. No, not really. Mallory wants to know what Trina sees in Phil and Tanya claims that she is done understanding human beings which is quite reasonable at this point; as Phil tells the ducks that he'll be in his office tending to business which involves doing the "loves me, loves me not" spot with an out of nowhere daisy. I would love to see the reaction if it's "she loves me not"; and then he sues the flower for "alienation of affection". Phil leaves with the petals of the infinite petal flower on the ground. This relationship is getting off to a hilariously rocky start.
So we head to some abandoned power plant and then inside as Doctor Droid still hates human scum for enslaving the robotic and machine race as we see various machines and electronics sitting in front of the throne where Doctor Droid is as he has now gotten the most god-awful red robotic suit I have ever see. He now looks like a robot from Challenge of the Gobots; which is never a good idea to reference. Behind him is a puke green computer with an orange globe like sphere and an yellow whites eye with black pupil that looks so awful that I swear the animators are burying Droid deep into the earth now. The computer is known as J76412 as the computer can talk (Jim Cummings) as he can do as Droid desires; but only on one condition: He has enough computer power to do the task. Sounds reasonable enough as Trina walks in (yip; she's a robot because Droid would NEVER accept an actual human doing his job); with a computer chip as I discover that she stole a computer chip from Drake One. Trina walks over and gives Droid the computer chip as the Challenge of Gobots design is much more profound now since he's a little red bulldozer like tank. Droid proclaims that the Mighty Ducks' own techonology will be the downfall of them and the city as his arm falls off; prompting him to tell Trina to put the arm back on which is pretty amusing in itself. Trina connects the arm back on Droid and Droid drives over and puts the chip into J76412 which powers up the machine and makes the sphere glow orange. J76412 states that he is 100 times stronger now and he can now control all the machines in the city. Darkwing Duck, Revolution In Home Appliances, I'm just saying guys. So we scene change back to the Arrowhead Pond as we get more practice and Tanya takes a slapshot and it goes past Wildwing with ease. Wildwing is impressed with Tanya and then we hear Phil screaming for help. The ducks skate off the ice and we cut to Phil's office as Phil is at his desk using an opened briefcase to shield himself against....white sheets of paper. HAHA! The photocopier has gone on a paper shooting rampage! Then the fax machine goes berserk. This is amusing to me.
So Phil tries to go to the door to escape; but has to bail behind his desk again because the soda machine bounces in spitting cans of orange soda from it's bottom. This goes on for a while and then the ducks run in and MURDER all the machines with the arm puck guns. Phil proclaims that he'll be in the closet if they need him; and he opens the door leading to the closet and runs in; slamming the door behind him. Jeepers; I didn't know machines were such bigots. The babyfaces scope out the damage; and wonder why the machines gone berserk with Nosedive cutting another Michaelangelo B-level promo as Wildwing (with golden mask on mind you) deducing that it's Doctor Droid's doing. Nosedive is shocked about this because he only has his head left. Geez; Nosedive, the most important trait of Droid's character is still intact, and you act shocked that he's still a menace? Tanya at least gets the two clicks in the making of a clue on this one which prompts Nosedive to act like a goof because he proclaims that Doctor Droid cannot be back in action. Then a television set in Phil's room (which didn't go berserk mind you; so in this world, televisions are not considered machines, which is BS!) turns on by itself and we see Doctor Droid on the monitor which prompts Nosedive to tell us to sue him. Duely noted goofball! Apparently; Droid is no longer interested in killing human scumbags; now he aimming for all organic lifeforms which is of course the logical conclusion of all robots to do. Sarcasm intentional. So he basically takes over all monitors and proclaims that he is going to kill all human scum for the good of him and the world as the babyfaces deduce that he has a lot of screws loose. So we head to a factory which somehow is NOT taken over yet since no chaos is happening. So we get two workers and why does every worker on this show wearing orange/red gear? That only serves to show that your show is so cheap.
So Trina goes to a computer console and pulls the lever (JESUS~!) which sets off the annoying alarm of doom; and then shouts at the workers who turn around to tell them that there is a power overload and everyone must scatter. So let me get this straight: She is the supervisor of this plant?! I ask this because if she isn't; why would anyone take her seriously?! However; humans are in fight or flight and they go for flight and bail out. Trina then pushes a yellow button to lock all the sliding doors and allow Droid to enter as he goes on and on about taking over this factory while watching a crane arm containing the JAWS OF HALF LIFE; as he will no longer be experiencing technical difficulites. Earth to Droid: If that were to happen; the show would be canceled after the pilot and you would not even exist until the concepts were shown 50 years later. So we scene change to do the CGI Migrator sequence out of the Duck Dogs hiding spot again. Nothing of note here other than Nosedive pushing a blue button. Then we cut to inside the city streets as they are empty which indicates that the Migarator will be totally out of control; which is exactly what happens as they crash into one car; Wildwing calls for Mommy and before this; Mallory points out the one fatal flaw in this use of the machine: If Droid controls machines; what stops him from controlling the Migrator. Yeah; the Migrator sways around the streets to end the segment eight and a half minutes in. This was fine so far.
After the commercial break; we see the Migrator crash into lamp poles and palm trees which cause more damage then the car they plowed into as Nosedive yells at Wildwing to stop this crazy thing. Wildwing tries the brakes and that is no go, so Wildwing decides to cut the power. Tanya points out that this will be useless as the Migrator crashes into the steps of some building that is in front of the background near the Anaheim Mall. So in essence; they are about two blocks away from their home base. So the Migarator back opens and out come the Duck Cycles because they assume that he won't take over a smaller machine; unless the Duck Cycles are gas powered...and then the ducks get out ten seconds later with Wildwing yelling that the Duck Cycles are driving themselves, thus they are technology based. They crash into each other; creating a huge fire on the streets. Duke's pride means nothing to me right now. Anyhow; we get screaming from the Anaheim Mall as various denizens come out of the department store as various appliances bounce out to shoot ice cube and other such crap. Wildwing tells Tanya and Duke to return to the Arrowhead Pond (which is only two blocks away; so it shouldn't be hard) to check out the radio waves Tanya thinks is causing the chaos; and then we have Wildwing, Mallory, Grin and Nosedive running in as Nosedive gives out another B-level Michaelangelo promo...STOP THAT~! So the fridge of doom shoots ice cubes at the babyfaces; and Mallory shoots her ice puck gun at the fridge and blows it up like someone getting killed in an anime series. Mallory checks the fridge and the light coming out of it is just a setup to another joke that comes out of nowhere and goes about the same place. Nosedive toasts a toaster and we get another promo from him. We head back to Drake One as Duke is checking the security system which is off while Tanya is typing on Drake One; and there is a Fatal Boot Error on the screen in banana yellow capital letters. Lovely. Tanya checks the console and the microchip controlling Drake One is missing; which has Duke deducing that the only other person to have these codes is...Phil Palmfeather; of course!
So then they go into Phil's office and open the closet door prompting Duke to grab Phil by the jacket. Phil tries to plea for mercy; but he calls them boobies which just make him sounding even more insulting than usual. Duke accuses him of turning off the secruity system (which is actually smart because it means that we don't get a repeat of Duck Hard at least; so screw you Duke); which Palm acts like a scummy politican (which is hilarious because he's not good at it). Tanya then accuses him of stealing a part from Drake One because a certain woman put him up to it. Yeah; because it's always the "woman" who makes "men" do stupid things. Phil admits that Trina was in the computer room; but refuses to believe that his angel food cake is responsible for this mess. Spoken like a true hilarious scummy politician; Phil. You may pick up the statue at the door sir. Duke pokes at Phil's chest which is as big to scale as HHH's nose asking what he DOES know about her; and Phil admits that she works at the Techno-Tic Plant which is basically the same factory we saw Droid take over. Duke and Tanya do a huddle and then Duke runs out to inform the others as Tanya drags Phil out and calls him lover boy in the process. So we head back to more ice cube machine blasting on Grin as Grin grabs the machine and tosses it into more appliances causing some awesome explosion effects. At least this one look good this time as Wildwing throws a vacuum cleaner that was really trying to suck his armor on. So then Duke, Tanya and Phil run in as they explain the obvious to us and get on Phil's case about it. Phil blows it off because he had his eyes "practically, almost like...etc. etc." the entire time she was there. That is a very interesting choice of words there Phil and it was funny. Duke explains that she works for Techno-Tic which Nosedive claims that it sounds familiar to the plant Droid took over in the debut of him earlier in the series. This was certainly out of nowhere since this is the first one I have heard the name of the factory Droid took over. So the glass breaks and out bounces a tanning chair towards the faces; which prompt Mookey and Thrash to run in with their super soakers.
So they hose the chair down with the MUSTARD OF DEATH and that stops the chair in it's track. I say hose because Nosedive praises them for hosing the chair. The babyfaces deduce that the MUSTARD OF DEATH shields them from the radio waves which control the machines. Tanya is inspired to use it to coat down the Duck Luge and Duck Stomper's engines which would put them back in business as the babyfaces ask Thrash about having more of this stuff; and Thrash claims that they have tons of this stuff in the shop; so we have a plan coming up here. So Mallory and Duke run out of Anaheim Mall to persue Droid while Tanya and the remaining babyfaces return to the Arrowhead Pond to get the Duck Luge and Duck Stomper ready for action. Phil follows Mallory, Wildwing and Duke because he wants to save Trina from further trouble which Duke blows off because it's much more likely she is the cause of this trouble. Ah; the tension of a scummy politician! It always creates good conflicts, if nothing else. Cut to the Arrowhead Pond as the front doors open and out comes Grin, Tanya and Nosedive with their new toys. I'm guessing the Duke Luge is what Nosedive is driving because he is having fan with it; while Grin and Tanya are riding the Duck Stompers (I guess she made two of them). Grin is more interested in finding Droid as Tanya checks the radar on the console of her Duck Stomper (you expect me to take that seriously as a threat?); and there is a red dot on it, indicating that the source of it's power is right at Techno-Tic....
....which we see in the next scene changer BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as we pan over outside and then we see the babyfaces at the steel doors which look like prison doors. We hear Trina screaming for help and Duke has his pick locking skills because he doesn't believe in vandalism. So Wildwing blows it off and simply blows the door open with his puck arm cannon. Ummm; destroying properties with impunity! Hello?! So they run into the area where the JAWS OF HALF LIFE are and we see Trina grabbed by one of them wearing a Star Trek uniform. This has to be a setup as Phil runs in and wants to rescue her as Trina basically repeats Many Love In A Splintered Thing as four jaws come out and grab the babyfaces; thus officially lifting from Rescue Rangers; only with a lot less intensity and more comedy from Phil. Phil asks if it was something he said because he still thinks that she's in love with him. She's in love with you the same way Desiree Allure was with Monty; Phil. The Star Trek uniform should be a clue to you Phil. This ends the segment 14 and a half minutes in. Phil is such a sap; yes he is. This is actually a decent episode thus far.
After the commercial break; we return to see the ducks and Phil tied down to the floor as a giant press is slowly falling on them with Desiree Trina on the catwalk proclaiming that they have three minutes left to live. At least she only sezs that they are history and not use a flapjack pun because that would turn her into a C-level DTVA villain. Duke tells Phil that he certainly has some tastes in woman; which is really insulting to me and him in general. So we head back to another factory (which is the one Droid is currently taking over; rather than the one he took over in the previous episode which is in Trina's control) as the doors are blasted open and in comes Nosedive, Tanya & Grin in the Duck Luge and Duck Stomper shooting pucks and there is another firefight of death to waste time; while J76412 (Is there something special about that model number? Anyone?) is angry as hell because organic lifeforms will not accept him even though he thinks that he's helping them by removing human scum. So the hook crane gets involved which Grin tosses away and it gets bashed against some tanks which are so strong and dense; that no damage was done to them outside of the destruction of the hook crane. So the laser gun bullets shooters are destroyed as the three babyfaces walk to J76412 who is pleading for mercy like HAL; which Grin does some meditation promo and then double ax-handles J76412; effectively destroying it in one shot, just like that. Tanya then goes over and going on a fishing trip to find the chip for Drake One; and that is the end of the scene. So if anyone was hoping for an epic showdown between the ducks and the super computer; there it was. So anti-climatic this show is as we head back to the ducks and Phil tied down with chains about to be squashed by the press. Duke cuts a crowded promo as we see that the claws are making Droid a new body for him. Awwwwww; someone hates the Gobots as much as I do. So Trina rips the head off of Doctor Droid and puts it on the JAWS OF HALF LIFE as Droid proclaims that no one can stop him now. Cut back to Tanya fishing out of the chip of Drake One; and rips it out which shut off the orange sphere.
So we head back as the press and the jaws containing Droid's head all stop right on cue. But they don't make it look dramatic because they don't show the press stopping about a foot above the babyfaces. So Droid is pissed off and orders Trina to put the head on the body by hand; so she sells and then pushes on the gears to make the press move down because she wants duck pancakes or something. I guess Trina hates Phil for spending more time on a flower than on her. Phil is pleading his case as Mallory blows him off for not picking Madam Medusa. Mallory's taste in woman is even less appealing than Grin's; if that is possible. So we jump cut to Trina screwing the head of Droid in the right place as Droid's body is a four legged fly like robot; which means he is officially the 2000's Baxter Stockman. Only Droid did it first (at least on television; comics: dead-ringer). As Droid is moving and cuttting this promo; the press has somehow went from three feet above the babyfaces to 12 feet. Has Trina turned on Droid? Nope. She is still with Droid and a heel as the doors are blown open and in runs Tanya, Duke and Grin to make the save. Nosedive shoots pucks at Trina as she bails to the computer and rips the monitor off of it. She throws it at Nosedive; and then she suddenly appears at the door for no reason. Now; I thought this was a gaping logic black hole of stupid on the writer. However; as the babyfaces are freed from the chain; Phil cuts a promo praising her like a clueless moron for being a twin. Yes; there are TWO Trina's in this episode! For absolutely no reason AT ALL! So if there were two Trinas all along; why didn't ONE of them fight with J76412 when Tanya and company squashed HIM?! So Trina #2 gets behind Nosedive as Wildwing points out the obvious that the Trinas are robots because Droid HATES living things; most so humans.
Phil simply cannot see it that way because as Nosedive takes the bump and the two Trinas reveal their fingers and arms as laser shooters; we then see the ducks blow off the two Trinas and then the puck guns come out and they shoot at the Trinas and MURDER their asses. They killed both of them in four shots tops! When this all happen; Phil is sobbing for them getting destroyed so easily. Yes; he still doesn't care if they are robots or not. His girlfriend is truly inflatable; just like his trial record as a lawyer. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So the Trinas all drop to the floor; and Trina #1 (who is clearly an android now) gets off her last words that Droid is unstoppable now and he'll crush the human-infested city before going dead. So after all this we cut to outside as Droid crushes a car and shoots a green laser to destroy a small piece of a building which looked badly drawn in terms of damage as all the babyfaces run in and half of them are shooting him with pucks; which bounce off of him, and he sells nothing while Tanya, Grin and Nosedive drive in on their toys. Tanya states that Droid has a new body. Earth to Tanya: Wildwing and company KNEW that already. So they didn't tell you this before you arrived? Lord; this third act is stupid. So Droid nails the Duck Stomper and Tanya is down onto the pavement; but she is unhurt. Droid shoots a laser at the pavement to create a hole which Nosedive is stupid enough to drive into it and crash the Duck Luge off-screen. Grin gets nothing; but acts as if he is off his Duck Stomper anyway. The gang huddle up and Wildwing notices that nothing is working as he talks to Tanya about stopping Droid. Tanya calls it completely impossible despite not knowing about the body until just before she arrived. Nosedive wants to freeze Droid at least; which Duke blows off as grasping at straws, which Tanya agrees with NOSEDIVE! Yeah; it'll freeze him and break like glass. So they simply change their pucks to ice with absolutely no build nor context to it; and they fire it at the belly of the robot.
Droid still no sells it and shoots to kill. Tanya gets behind Droid and shoots another ice puck at the bottom which blows it up and creates a hole; then she switches to puck explosives with time delay. So she shoots exploding pucks into the bottom and we see the ducks backing up from the laser blasts as we then cut to a closeup shot of a timer which hits zero and Droid's entire body blows up causing Dr Droid's head to rocket away proclaiming that he'll soon have his revenge. Oh; he also called them feather baterica; so now the babyfaces are in the human scum craplist. Good to know and he also cut a promo during the lame destruction scene where he wanted to enslave the human race and make them pamper the machines instead of the other way around. So yeah; he's a good heel as Duke thanks Nosedive for the idea and Nosedive claims that he was paying attention in shop class. So we head back to Drake One with the babyfaces and Phil is still defending Trina which shows that Phil is a completel dork which is actually funny. Mallory blows Phil off for defending an android that had a copy of her as Nosedive calls love as out to lunch as they simply walk through the sliding doors with Phil simply saying that he still loves her and if you are hoping for a real payoff to this angle: Keep dreaming buddy! This show is selling hockey; not love. This ends the episode at 21:05. This was a decent episode with a lame finish as it had no heat and out of nowhere stuff that had nothing to do with the storyline of the episode. And since this is Trina and Droid's final appearance, the whole Trina/Phil thing is a dead end angle as well. At least David Wise didn't screw up this episode until the finish; and the animation was fine for the most part outside of the usual BS&P crappy damage spot blowing. ** 3/4 (55%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; that was just an episode with nothing good nor terrible with it. Droid was okay, Phil was good as usual and Trina was fine in the Desiree role until she brought the twin out of nowhere with no build. The finish was pretty lame with no real intensity nor threat of the city getting blown up; compared to the middle where appliances were exploding left and right. The whole ice puck finish was also lame because it had nothing to do with the build up for the episode and it came out of nowhere to make Nosedive look good when he didn't need to. The ending was just there as they walk into Drake One and then out of Drake One for no reason as Phil acted like Trina was killed. So we have a dead end angle just to get someone to say killer on DTVA?! Overall; there wasn't much to say about it and it was just there to bore me. So next weekend; we'll be doing Dave The Barbarian first with the second half hour segment featuring the debut of Lord Chuckles The Silly Piggy (the shows answer to Don Karnage who nearly succeeds and turns the show around for me. Nearly.); and then another Mighty Ducks episode; probably one near the end of the run. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.