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Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series - The Return of Astroth
Reviewed: 08/24/2014
The Return Of Nothing Good!
Well kiddies; this is the second last episode aired of this show as Astroth returns to wreck havoc on the real Anaheim and get his revenge on the Mighty Ducks for stealing his amulet. I'll give the writers this: They at least wrote an episode that had better continuity than most of this series in general. Now; can Astroth save the quality of this show; or will the writers stop caring? Let's rant on shall we...?!
I don't know who wrote, animated nor story edited this episode because there is no ED present; and IMDB gives me nothing.
We begin this one with the zoom in shot of the Arrowhead Pond; and then cut to inside headquarters as the doors open. All six babyfaces enter with Tanya holding a rifle as Mallory is pissed off that Siege and Wraith got away again. Tanya is still relieved because they got something that Dragonous was going to use to get power from anywhere on Earth. So we get the popup cabinet of doom as Wildwing tells us that they keep stuff in from previous stories including BRAWN's head; which talks to us on cue. I find it a bit creepy that they would keep BRAWN's head as if it was a trophy considering that it was a sentient being; but these writers think children don't use their brains at all; so why am I not surprised? Anyhow; there is a world globe statue thingy from Beak To The Future by the way; and of course the amulet from Astroth as Duke recalls how great Dungeons & Ducks were. On paper: yes. In practice: yes. In execution: could be yes if David Wise didn't go to crap in his later years. Anyhow; Tanya doesn't like it and we get footage from Dungeons & Ducks IN FULL COLOR! Why didn't they just do this with every flashback instead of using that goofy blue color? So it's basically a recap of Dungeons & Ducks with echoy voiceovers and other such stuff while the ducks chime in on how awesome it was. Tanya ends by saying that she likes the real Anaheim better and places the rifle into it's cubby hole. Then we cut to the recreation room with Nosedive taking the top hammock tucked into the northeastern portion of the room; reading a generic comic book. In one of the panel; we see Borg from Dungeons & Ducks which causes Nosedive to be in denial. Then we hear Borg's echoy voice-over causing Nosedive to close the comic book; and basically talk to the hard cameras about foresaking spicy tacos. He opens the book and Borg is alive in the comic book telling him to destroy the amulet now before disappearing. Ooooookkkkaaayyyy. So Nosedive pleads for Borg to come back; but no dice. Scene changer of doom and we head to Drake One with Mallory blowing off Nosedive for eating too many spicy tacos while shaking her head.
So the popup cabinet has reappeared as Nosedive is trying to explain to the babyfaces that Borg spoke through him in a comic book and Borg wants the amulet destroyed now. Wildwing states that they don't know the extent of the amulet; so destroying it would not be a good idea without evidence. Nosedive then goes to Drake One to contact Borg and get his evidence...and he succeeded because Borg is on-screen pleading for the Mighty Ducks to destroy the amulet before Astroth reunites with Setkh before disappearing in a red afterimage. Wildwing grabs the amulet and states that they should get this over with. You cannot accuse Wildwing of not being an idiot here, so let's scene change to the abandoned plant of the day as a red portal appears on the ground and up raises Astroth looking about three years older than me along with a demon like spawn wearing purple shorts, a pink doo-rag and purple spats. Astroth addresses him as Beldar by the way and Beldar is voiced by John Kassir and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Kassir played the Bulgarian kicker, Zagreb Shkenusky, for 7 years in the HBO comedy series 1st & Ten, about a fictional football team. His other live action credits include sketch-acting on The Amanda Show and a portrayal of Shemp Howard in a biopic about The Three Stooges, produced by Mel Gibson, and Ralph in Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical. He was also able to get his own Pee-wee Herman style show in 1997 called Johnnytime, which aired for two seasons on the USA network. He also appeared as The Atom in the Justice League of America pilot episode, which, despite not being picked up, was released as a film in some markets. John has appeared in over a dozen feature films, starred in eight TV pilots (six of which went to series and two of which lasted on air for over six years each) and guest starred in dozens of TV series in both comic and dramatic roles.
Kassir beat out both Michael Winslow and Charles Fleischer to become the voice of the Crypt Keeper. As a standup comic, he has opened for the likes of Lou Rawls, Tom Jones, The Temptations and Four Tops on their TNT tour, Bobby Vinton, Richard Belzer, and Harry Blackstone, Jr. among others. John has also appeared on stage performing improvisation with Robin Williams, though Williams did not realize that was happening. More recently, John has specialized in voice-over work for animation, video games, and other productions. Notable in this regard has been his acting the roles of Ray "Raymundo" Rocket on Rocket Power. He also provided the voice for the mercenary Deadpool in the video games X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse and Marvel: Ultimate Alliance, as well as for Sauron and Pyro, two other well-known characters. He was also featured in the very first commercial for the Nintendo cornerstone video game series The Legend of Zelda in the United States in 1987.[2] A few of his many theater credits include: originating the role of Kenny in Three Guys Naked From The Waist Down (also starring Scott Bakula), for which he was nominated for both a Drama Desk and an Outer Critics Circle award. John also originated the role of Ralph in the musical Reefer Madness, on stage and in the film version. He provided the voice of the mischievous raccoon Meeko in Disney's 1995 animated feature Pocahontas and Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World. Also, he provided the voice of Buster Bunny in four Tiny Toon Adventures cartoons (following Charlie Adler's departure from the role). He played the villainous Scuttlebutt in An American Tail: The Treasure of Manhattan Island. He also made one voice appearance in an episode of Ben 10 as Zombozo. He voiced the character Adam MacIntyre and others in the video game Dead Rising.[3]
Recently, his voice is featured in the games Shadows of the Damned and Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance as Hell demons and Desperado Enforcement captain Monsoon, respectively. In 2011, he voiced Crazy Smurf in the film The Smurfs, and in 2012, he voiced Jealousy as well as Gumball, Penny, Leslie, Carrie & Darwin when he possesses them in The Amazing World of Gumball episode "The Flower". Kassir appeared in Bryan Singer's Jack the Giant Slayer (2013), along with Bill Nighy, as Fallon, the two-headed leader of the giants; Nighy played the big head while Kassir played the small head.[4] He began his career in No York City in 1983. Bonkers as Toon Bottle is his DTVA debut and he also appeared in The Little Mermaid The Series (Rats), Timon & Pumbaa, Hercules as Charon, Buzz Lightyear of Star Command (Marl/Evan Zarl/Snark/Zinko) and Kim Possible. Chance Manifest (Ronnie), Smothered (John Kassir), The Gunrunner Billy Kane (Machinist) and Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness (Sanzu/Sai So) are his most recent credits. He has 169 acting credits, eight self credits, one producer credit (Johnnytime) and one director credit (Forbidden Games) to his resume. So Beldar and Astroth exchange notes about the helmet of Set Astroth is wearing. They are looking for the amulet as Astroth tells Beldar not to worry since the helmet does have enough power to aid in his quest to find the amulet. So he rises into the sky and uses the helmet to call forth stone statues of Hercules, the centaur and Asura from the Museum of Anaheim. Hercules was carrying the globe and uses it to destroy the nearby wall to escape. So we head back to inside headquarters with Tanya wearing a duck shaped mask while holding some rifle that looks like a laser gun. Tanya is shooting at the amulet; and the amulet is still perfectly intact. Tanya takes off the mask and cannot believe this amulet cannot be destroyed; to which Duke proclaims that it's a magical object. Yeah. So Nosedive gets a call from the wrist communicator and it's Captain Klegghorn from his office.
Klegghorn seems more open to the ducks this time around as he has something weird going on in Anaheim that might be up their alley. According to the Klegg; someone attacked a security guard in the Museum Of Anaheim. Which makes ZERO sense at all because we saw all three statues leave and only a wall was destroyed. No guard was attacked; unless that was cut from the Toon Disney version of this episode and thus I didn't see it. Nosedive's response and Klegghorn's counter response were just there to kill time. So then we cut to the Duck Dogs Billboard as the ground opens up from underneath and out comes Mallory, Grin and Duke on their Duck Cycles. Oooookkkkkkaaayyyyy. So then we cut to a broken down catwalk with Astroth taking off his helmet which was damaged (I guess from teleporting to Anaheim because that is the only thing that makes sense in his arrival) and gives it to Beldar. Beldar flies down and throws the helmet into a furance and then breathes fire into the furance to set the helmet on fire before closing the door. Astroth then uses his mind to grab some bags of SEAMENT~ (which he calls clay); as he is going to make golems out of it. So we head to the front of the Museum of Anaheim as Hercules, Asura and Centaur are still at the front of the entrance just as Mallory, Duke and Grin arrive on their Duck Cycles. Mallory makes comments; we cut back to Drake One with Mega Man X4 style warnings on the computer monitor as there is a lot of magical power somewhere in the brickyard; which Nosedive hilariously states that it has been closed for year. Not years, but year. And to think; this is the first mistake of the episode almost seven minutes in, and it's a minor one at worst. Wildwing is pondering as we scene change to the CGI Migrator sequence of doom to waste more time. Did I mention that in the last scene before Drake One; that the centaur statue was firing exploding arrows while making stone clicking sounds? I mention this because when we return to the museum; Mallory bails as the centaur fires an exploding arrow to destroy her Duck Cycle. Mallory bails behind the dumpster as Duke runs in to duel with Asura. Okay.
Mallory bails from the dumpster and hangs from a sign post as the centaur gallops into the alley. Mallory jumps on it's back and she now has to play Calgary Stampede with centaur. So Mallory grabs the arrows and bails. Centaur follows her as Mallory proclaims that it's time to stop horsing around. She does a great backflip off the lamp post and then shoots the puck gun just as the centaur arrives to try to get the arrows and centaur gets blown to dust. Oh sure why not. It's not like the ducks have not destroyed people's properties enough for this month. Grin runs in and tries to shoulder tackle Hercules; but he no sells it. I kind of like this Hercules more than the Disney Feature one since this Hercules is more into crushing babyfaces than Hercules in the feature version. So Grin gets a bear hug and a press slam for his troubles as he is thrown into the brick wall. More Duke and Asura clanking swords as Duke easily swipes away all four swords and one poke to the chest causes Asura to crumble into stones. Nice one Duke, nice one. Grin crawls out of the brick wall proclaiming that there is nothing more evil than back pain. I fully agree with this statement; considering that I'm having some back pain right about now. So it's now 3 on 1 babyfaces; but Duke decides to let Hercules walk on the street because he might be looking for something. So the babyfaces get on the Duck Cycles (with Duke and Mallory sharing) and follow Hercules stone sounding walking. So we head back to headquarters and in comes Phil Palmfeather, who is the real star of this cartoon by the way; no matter what Disney PR tries to tell you. So Phil walks in and grabs the amulet in a huff because the ducks decided to save the world over a photo shoot. Yeah. Phil proclaims that he wished he had a million dollars for every time they missed a PR stunt and then out of nowhere drops a luggage of that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. HAHA! So Phil thinks someone is putting him on so he wishes for a diamond beeper; and out comes a diamond encrusted beepers right into his hands (it looks like it's bigger than a television set on the near shot; but is the size of a cellphone in Phil's hands). HAHA!
Phil is so happy that he runs to the door and basically tells the ducks and the PR stunts to go to hell because he's a wealthy retired man now. He's so happy; I'm even sadder now to see him go. So we head to the abandoned brickyard (closed for year so sezs Nosedive) as Nosedive (speaking of year?), Tanya and Wildwing enter the area as it's closing in on AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark). We see a lot of broken windows and brick walls in the foreground and background as Nosedive sees nothing weird about this. Tanya stops causing Nosedive to bump into her from behind (PEVERT!) and we notice some large SEAMENT~ mixing machine in the background. Okay; let's go to the overpass with Hercules walking like a stone clicking sound golem. Grin, Duke and Mallory stop and notice that this overpass leads them straight towards the Arrowhead Pond, even though there is no showing of the actual arena. Grin deduces that it's after the amulet and Duke decides to contact Wildwing via his wrist communicator and inform him that Astroth is here. Wildwing basically tells him to tell Duke something he doesn't know because they discover Astroth is on the catwalk doing magic chants. You couldn't show him first, and then show the mixer/kilm thingy? So the lava pours down and out of the lava comes golems which look like badly drawn Goliaths from Gargoyles. Okay; someone has a personal grunge. The question is: worked grunge (Astroth) or shoot grunge (Whomever is writing this episode)? Either way; you look weak sir. This ends the segment 10 and a half minutes in. This is actually a good episode thus far; but nothing really knocking my socks off outside of Phil being rich.
After the commercial break; we get a great camera shot of Astroth ordering the golems to destroy the ducks. Sadly; this kind of shot would have been killer in CGI, but with overseas animators, it looks so crappy. So the babyfaces shoot their pucks, golems no sell. Nosedive tries the exploding puck and it turns them into clay piles on the ground; but then they stop selling and reform into golems again. Yeah; it's Liquidator again, only with clay. So one of the golem grabs Tanya and tries to crush the living feathers out of her. Wildwing does a lame kick; which he gets grabbed by the golems (complete with gooey cement sticky grip of death) and thrown away. Nosedive takes a stick, because apparently, a stick will do more damage than a puck from a gun and an exploding puck from a gun. Anyhow; Nosedive slashes the wrist of the golem and gets free as Wildwing's arm is caught by the golem as well. Wildwing yells at Nosedive to bail and get help; and Nosedive teases staying and then bails with the clay still around his wrist. So we head to the overpass with Hercules walking as slow as humanly possible because he's clearly doing this to kill time. So Mallory, Grin and Duke drive pass him and cut him off. Mallory taunts Hercules to do his best shot. So Hercules punches through the road of the overpass, and falls through the overpass and gets destroyed and buried. Damn; that pretty much kills Hercules' heat for features a few years before it was released. No wonder Jim Kellogg didn't like 1997 in general. Anyhow; the babyfaces want to help the others; but Duke wants to return to make sure the amulet is safe. He must have that funny feeling that Phil stole it already; or he has to do this to kill time. So we head to headquarters as the doors slide open and Mallory, Duke and Grin run in and as expected the amulet is gone. Geez; I wonder who took it? Well; Nosedive comes in with his clay wrist band made into a hand as Nosedive has trouble ripping it off his wrist. He manages to do so and the golem hand moves a bit before turning into hot clay water. Oooookkkkkaaaayyyyy. So then Duke sets up a mini television and on the screen is Borg. How? I don't know.
Duke informs Borg that their technology couldn't destroy the amulet. So Borg grabs Duke and Nosedive (who were dumb enough to stretch their arms out towards the television set); and get dragged into alternative Anaheim again. Nosedive of course has to do stupid stuff like say that this is a plot twist directly to the hard camera. You are not witty enough to pull that off writers. This is not TMNT 1987; get over it Mr. Wise! Mallory proclaims that if this keeps up; it's going to be called Mighty Duck. Actually; it already is and Phil is the mightest guy on the team in terms of overness and he isn't even an alien duck. He's just a scummy lawyer. So Borg tells Duke and Nosedive that only the Star Sword can destroy the amulet, which begs the question: if that is the case, then why didn't you just tell them that about seven minutes ago when it mattered more? This question cannot be answered because this show at this point is being cancelled and no one cares anymore. Scene changer of doom as Mallory and Grin are on Drake One's computer looking at CGI stuff. Yes folks; they aren't returning to help Wildwing and Tanya. Why must every episode of this show have overt stupid crap?! Anyhow; they were checking to see if there was anything funny going on in the room; and there was none. Mallory then automatically deduces that Phil stole the amulet. Which I reply: Of course! So we head back as the furance is opened and Beldar uses an iron bar to take out the helmet saying that Astroth has some real heat on him. Wow; Beldar DOES talk like me and I don't have any personal heat with him. Anyhow; Wildwing and Tanya are tied up in the corner with one of the golems towering over them. Astroth takes the helmet from Beldar and praises Beldar for doing something right. I discover that Beldar is indeed a homonoculous, like many of Astroth's minions. Astroth puts the helmet on and it glows cheese color; but nothing else comes out of it. Cut back to Drake One as Grin is asking Mallory why Phil would want to take the amulet. Malllory thinks that he stole it in order to pawn it like the scummy lawyer that he is.
Mallory then conveniently tells us that they put a homing device in his cellphone. Yes; HIS cellphone. Not on the amulet itself; his cellphone. Wow; the Mighty Ducks are a bunch of double agent spies and in today's world, that turns the ducks into monster heels. Again; who is booking this crap? And THIS is a good episode by the way. So we see the map on Drake One's monitor and we zoom into California which I thought they would tease Washington State; as Phil is relaxing on his retirement in Malibu. Yeah. So we head to the beaches of Malibu and pan over to a black limo parked on the road. Then we jump cut to Phil relaxing on a white lawn chair on the sandy beach with his money, and two woman (brown and blond) in swimsuits (cheese and pink) basically acting like stereotypes in this setup; trying to please all of Phil's whims. Yeah; Phil is wearing a Hawaiian paint splash shirt which is purple and pink with pink sandals and almond shorts while wearing shade. He is also slurping pink soda from a straw while getting leaf fanned. Phil asks the blond woman what would make this better and the blond woman doesn't know. I know: Stuff the leaf down his back and get out of there. It's woman empowerment and always gets a laugh from me at least. So he uses the amulet and creates a yacht onto the shoreline just as the Migrator shows up. I guess Nosedive did drive back to the Pond in it when he escaped; so no logic break there. Mallory and Grin run in and demand that Phil give them the amulet right now. Phil whines and complains because he's a scummy lawyer. Phil then tells them to lose the weapons and the puck gun that Mallory brings out (oh yeah; this is so rightous of you Mallory) disappears right on cue. Mallory blows him off for that and in comes Astroth landing and demanding the amulet. Mallory and Grin try to cut him off; so Astroth invokes the FIREBALL OF DAMNATION on them and they go flying into the air and land on the sand.
The sand goes flying as Astroth goes over to Phil and orders him to give him the amulet. Phil tells him to call his people and his lawyers as Astroth starts emmitting a laser from his fingertip. Phil sees it, panics and runs stage right. This is so cute to see the scummy lawyer run as Astroth zaps him with the laser and Phil turns to stone in the best pose BS&P could allow. Astroth goes over and rips the amulet from Stone Cold Phil's neck. He proclaims that he has the amulet back and flies away. As this is going on; the women, the chairs, the leaves, limo and yacht all disappear in a lime green afterimage. Mallory gets up and wants to follow Astroth; but Grin asks about Phil. Mallory doesn't sound all that thrilled about this, but she grabs Stone Cold Phil and she and Grin carry him to the Migrator with ease. Heh. So we head back to alternative Anaheim as Borg, Duke and Nosedive run into some ancient ruins. Apparently; the helmet is called the Horn Of Set now and if it and the amulet reunite together, then both worlds will be sent to the Dark Zone. Yeah; that is Disney version of the "Shadow Realm" from dubbed Yu-Gi-Oh! So the Star Sword is in the ruins sticking on a rock in front of some steps into a room; and Borg points out that this sword is guarded by the Minotaur. Why does this show continue to kill any and all suspense of the scene? Can't Borg wait until the Minotaur arrives before saying that? Now you basically telegraphed the next moment in which they try to get the sword out of the holder; but the Minotaur shows up. And yes; this Minotaur has a club hammer and apparently, claims that Borg is stealing the sword again.
So Nosedive brings out the puck gun and shoots. Minotaur no sells, starting clubbing while the babyfaces start dodging. Minotaur saying that he's only doing his job so casually is funny though. So we head back to the brickyard with Wildwing and Tanya chained up together as Astroth lands and puts the amulet back into his chest. Lovely! So Astroth brings out his staff and starts doing his enchanted magic stuff as he changes the brickyard into his castle of doom complete with spiky vines, which comes off as a low rent Sailor Moon Stars moment. Speaking of low rent moments; this is basically a similar sequence to Her Chance To Dream, only it involves no flying ships and nercophilia. Even more low rent; somehow during this sequence, Wildwing is demanding answers to this outrage; and the drawing makes it appear that Tanya and Wildwing got loose from their chains. Continuity? What continuity? Thy not know how this show and it go together natch! So we get the far shot of the castle with the spiked thorns and Astroth proclaims that he is sending the world straight to hell...ERRR...I mean the Dark Zone. Which is fine because in this show; they are already in hell, because the writers don't have to two clicks in the making of a clue. This ends the segment almost 17 minutes in. Well; this episode is basically a Cleveland Notes version of Dungeons & Ducks now.
After the commercial break; we get more shots of Astroth's castle as it's clear that this is a low rent Sailor Moon Stars castle (Melhelina's castle in case you didn't see the Japanese version. Thankfully; Sailor Moon Stars is finally going to be dubbed into English by VIZ and is already much better than DiC and Cloverway could ever achieve.) as Beldar and Astroth enjoy seeing earth get engulfed in darkness. And now we see Wildwing and Tanya back in chains as Tanya claims that this is going to kill tourism. Please for the love of life, stop having Tanya trying to be Nosedive. She cannot crack a joke to save her life. She makes Rhinokey look like the Three Stooges now. So the Migrator is parked outside the castle just like that; so the bramble is merely decoration (Sailor Moon: Dammit!) as Grin and Mallory run into the golems of doom. Grin grabs one and throws it into the wall. It crumbles and remakes itself. Grin calls this going with the flow as Mallory then realizes that heat actually hardens them as she brings out a therminal heat puck and fires it at the golem. It harden and crumbles into rocks. Yeah; Mallory figured this out, but Tanya didn't. Tanya is now the most useless character in the series; which means she got all the focus episodes in this gig. Like a cross between Supermouse and a horrible version of Gadget. So we return to the ruins in alternative Anaheim with Borg, Duke and Nosedive battling the green minotaur of doom. I do love this poor monster's raspy breath because it sounds like Bloodbane from Valkyrie Profile complete with him sounding like he has throat cancer. It even apologizes for the clubbing because it's his job to protect the sword. That's funny as Nosedive dodges and bails saying that they forgive him. Awwww! My heart melted! So Duke comes in from the side and slides a column and that drops onto the minotaur burying him into a stone tomb. The babyfaces think they have won and then the minotaurs pops from the tomb; only to get tied up with puck ropes. Minotaur cannot move at all even though it's merely rope and not rock. Duke runs in and takes the sword out as Borg tells us that the Star Sword is also a warping device. Ooookkkkaaayy.
So we head back as all the golems simply crumble without changing color (and apparently; the first golem went back from grey to brown) as Astroth jumps in and zaps Mallory and Grin; turning them into stone. If you listen closely; you can hear Phil laughing all the way to the bank. If he wasn't Stone Cold Phil right about now. Also in typical classic Mighty Ducks fashion, Wildwing and Tanya are chained against a tree which came out of nowhere. Again; this is what happens when you care more about selling hockey than making a cartoon series. Memo to execs: There are thousands of ways to sell hockey to kids. This is the worst of the lot. Even the Wildwing fursuit is a far better idea than this. Of course Tanya just has to do an analogy to the opening song because ducks rock. No they do not. So Astroth senses victory and then looks up as an orange portal opens from the sky; and out comes Duke with the Star Sword along with Nosedive behind him. Duke orders Astroth to surrender the amulet to him; but Astroth no sells and turns into a red/green dragon. Man; old age has completely screwed up his dragon color scheme. Astroth is also sporting a lime green horn in his white hair too. Sadly; this proves to be a coloring mistake because on the shot after Duke and Nosedive bail from the fireball breath; the color scheme is back to red all around. Duke claims that the lime green horn is the source of it's power so Duke tells Nosedive to run interference while Duke gets the amulet. Nosedive agrees and then we get one of those middle fingers to the audience moment as Nosedive climbs into a gray truck and drives around to distract Astroth. Yeah; this truck came out of nowhere. Not only that, the Migrator was parked outside. Why not use that? Whomever is writing this has stopped caring now after doing a decent job getting through almost 20 minutes of video. Then we get the finish: Duke gets onto a castle tower and calls out Astroth. Astroth turns around and blows him off. Duke does a yellow laser beam shot into Astroth's chest knocking it down on it's back. Duke then jumps from the tower and easily slices the horn off of Astroth's head causing the heel to scream no.
So he returns to normal as the amulet flies down onto the ground (it changed from the green horn when Duke sliced the horn off); and Duke goes over and smashes the amulet with the star sword with ease. Then Nosedive runs in and grabs the helmet off of Astroth's head which is useless because the amulet was the cause of all the ruckus anyway. So the entire area returns to the boring brickyard as Astroth flies to the Dark Zone get as it closes and both he and Beldar manage to escape without further incident, thus the whole thing seemed so low rent that there wasn't much suspense nor heat to this climax. As I expected, the writers stopped caring at this point as Tanya and Wildwing are released from their chains (now the thing is a pole; which begs the question: why didn't they show this when they were first chained up?) as Tanya wants answers to this and Duke has four sword: The sword is magic. And really; what more can you say? Other than: I do not care. So Dukes goes over to Mallory and Grin; he zaps both of them in the back with the sword and both of them return to normal, complete with Mallory demanding answers to this outrage. Wildwing tells her to relax because Astroth is gone, prompting Mallory to ask how do they make sure that he doesn't come back as Nosedive looks up to the sky as a star twinkles in broad daylight for no reason. Nosedive basically states that he'll have a hell of a time getting back and we get the puck scene changer of doom to return to the Arrowhead Pond. So we return to inside headquarters at Drake One as we get a closeup shot of Stone Cold Phil as Mallory claims that she loves him that way. I do too; but Phil is much better as a scummy lawyer anyway, and the ducks must adhere to the babyface rule of not being cruel to scummy lawyers. Personally; I have no beef with this. Tanya and Nosedive don't want him changed back; but Duke teases not doing it; but decides to touch the sword on Phil; and that changes him back. Then we get Phil wanting to know where the amulet and Duke claims that he destroyed it, causing Phil to do the funniest melodramtics in the history of mankind. It ends with Phil whining that he wished he was made of stone. Duke basically puts the sword into the popup cabinet and the door closes on the sword with Duke telling him to be careful what he wishes for to end the episode at 21:00 aired. This was a good episode until the finish when it simply turned into a Cleveland Notes Dungeons & Ducks and it had no heat nor creditability since the writers stopped caring about the show. Most of this was phoned in; but at least it wasn't horrible or anything. ** 3/4 (55%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; Astroth tried to make this into magic like it was in Dungeons & Ducks and had limited success. The problem is that this episode came so late into production that the writers simply stopped caring and were writing for a paycheck. This felt like just another Mighty Ducks episode; only with enough goodness to vault it past average. Phil carried this episode with some funny antics; but most of this was basically the same that we have seen before with a lot of logic breaks and stuff that show that no one cares about the show anymore. And why should we care? Most people by now have resign to the fact that this is a TMNT clone deisgned to sell hockey games; but it has failed so badly that it was probably best to cancel it in 13 episodes rather than 26. Overall; this was all right; but it is impossible to care about this anymore. Next up is a much earlier episode "A Traitor Among Us" as it's another Tanya focused episode; which doesn't lift my spirits any since everytime they tried to make Tanya cool, they have failed badly. That's all I am going to say about this. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.