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Feats of Clay

Reviewed: 04/13/2009

Is this Clay Aikens new CD or something...?!

Well; the final DVD episode is upon us and I wish the lord would take me now. So we started off with an episode with an expensive product (cabbage diamond); a device that controls minds and now we have the standard offensive Chinese episode. OH MY GOD; it's DTVA's version of the AGONY BOOTH'S special on Mister T: The Animated Series (which three episodes they reviewed had an episode with an expensive product (golden medallions), a mind control device and offensive Chinese characters)!! Can my mind fry anymore than it already has? So; let's rant on shall we...?!

This episode was written by Don Gillies and story was edited by Jymn Magon. This is actually Don Gillies' debut as a writer on DTVA actually; so I don't like his chances already. Don has worked on Dragon Tales, Todd World, Clifford the Big Red Dog and The Land Before Time Animated Series. Basically; it's mostly kindergarten stuff which is fine because I have zero beef with any of the shows he did. If it was Barney or Teletubbies; then I would truly be worried. The animation was done by Sunwoo and considering that it's 1996; that is truly a bad sign right there.

Interesting Moment #1: The title cards features just a bunch of terracotta warriors which not only make it offensive but boring to boot.

We begin this episode in an EMPTY CHINATOWN OF OFFENSIVE DOOM which is even more empty than Mr. T's version of the episode and we have Chinese police wearing shorts in a vain effort to show that they are not being offensive here. Memo to writers: If this is Chinatown then it should be filled to the gills with people with signs galore. It looks like an empty Hollywood back lot. All you guys did is take the template from the Mister T animate episode Fortune Cookie Caper and just took out the rickshaw, mangled maxims and smashing doors. At least I hope you did. The police have their flashlights as they search the empty Hollywood back lot...ERRR..I mean Chinatown...ERRR..I mean...Doug Gillies' vision of Chinatown (check the crappy neon green dragon sign there dude) as a shadow Chinese figure practices the fine art of not being seen. And they call Lost Horizons obscene and offensive. And looky there; there is our rickshaw right in front of us. Now all we need are mangled maxims and smashing doors and I can finally see why Quack Pack was hated by so many. It's really the remake of Mister T: The Animated Series. Replace Mister T with Donald Duck. Replace Rainbow Kids with nephews, replace Mrs. Whoever with Daisy. Replace mutt with Knuckles. I don't know how Kent Powers, Gumps and Moltoc fit in all this; but they must be red herrings to prevent us from making that connection. The shadow dude sucks of hiding because he puts the bag in the trash can where the can screams on cue and the police hears it and goes into said alleyway with the flashlights still on and of course the guy disappears as there is nothing but a pile of dust. Umm; check your internal logic here guys; there is a piece of wood in this dust; that looks like sawdust to me. Then some police dude with bad Mickey mouse gloves grabs the bag from the trash can and nothing comes of it. Okkkkkayyy. That doesn't make sense here. Was it a police officer or something?! And what was the point of this?! Why am I bothering anyway?

So it's morning as we finally see slightly more people inside Chinatown (like the nephews are fooling anyone by CLAIMING that that are REALLY in the FAR EAST? What country are you in O'wise ones?! Name the country you are in right now?!) as we pan over to Louie and the nephew at a sidewalk tea cafe and Louie is already smearing the good name of Doug Gilles' vision of Chinatown by playing with his chop sticks in the worst way possible. Or this is Sunwoo's bad animation streak again?! And naturally; Sun Woo blows the spot on Huey's beak badly; what a shock?! Didn't take long for them to screw up a spot didn't it?! Louie gets his PASTA BOWL OF DOOM (in a tea shop?) and of course both he and Sunwoo screw up badly. Again; what is the point of this again? This would be funny if I (a) cared and (b) Sun Woo wasn't such a screw up animation wise. Dewey of course does it Eddy style by tying two forks together. I don't blame him; even he is starting to realize Sunwoo's animation sucks. Nice to know at least one nephew is paying attention. And so we go to the right shot to see the SEXIST GIRL OF DOOM OF THE DAY (AN ASIAN GIRL) which means that Huey is going to get charmed within the next two minutes or so just to annoy me. It only took two seconds which is a new record even for DTVA. What a sexist this Huey is and he's barely 12 years old. This officially makes the Jonas Brothers look like pure angels in comparison.

And of course the Asian girl is trying to buy one of those exotic fruits (I'm sorry folks; but I don't know which one; my James Barber Exotic Fruit List is gone since my VHS tapes went to absolute crap years ago) and Huey pops up from the fish (or pickle) barrel much to the disgust of the lady in the yellow hat, red shirt and blue glasses. Must be the girl's mother and the man with the yellow hat and monkey named George. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SPLAT! EWWWWWWW!! Ummmmm... Kind of symbolic of ranting on this series isn't it?! Huey is in the market for a little romance and I'm in the market for hiring Triple H and his sledgehammer to beat him down with it. Seriously; if there is a good reason for Triple H to come into this cartoon and have ROID RAGE this would be it. Not on Randy Orton. I mean; who cares if Randy Orton beats up Triple H's wife and Vinnie Mac after everyone hates both of them anyway?! Thankfully; the lady will just have to do and she MURDERS Huey with the COD OF STINKING PLOT. That shot was weak sauce. Need toy hammer with squeak sound to make it more funny. Although the thought was certainly there; I'll give her that much. See that is the problem with this series. The nephews are such poison that they drag EVERYONE down to their level of crap. Take THEM out and the episode is all right; albeit a mess sometimes.

Huey then breaks logic again by popping up in a vase and wearing the offensive Chinese Hat. If there is a set of people who are a walking international incidents waiting to happen; it's the new Huey, Dewey and Louie. And worse of all; they are all not good and funny. Baloo and the gang are the same with one major difference; they are awesome and funny. Kit is awesome, Louie is funny and Baloo is somewhat funny when he needs to be. Thankfully; she has the balls to blow him off and she walks off. Good for her; she realizes how much he sucks the meat missile with gusto. She wants a teddy bear type of boy as a friend. Someone who is awesome; someone like Kit Cloudkicker; not some girl crazed , obsessed boy who sees girls as sex objects like you Huey Duck. Then Huey breaks logic AGAIN by popping up in ANOTHER vase in an AMERICAN WAITERS UNIFORM (SHOOT ME NOW!) showing a FORTUNE COOKIE! Now I know why Lost Horizons got reinstated: Asian American realized THIS episode was FAR MORE OFFENSIVE than THAT one! Ponder that Lost Horizons has panda bears committing terrorist acts and DESPAIR!! And then she GIVES UP. UGGGGGHHHHHHHH! You are supposed to MURDER his ASS! He offends your culture and makes YOU look like a total ass and you decide to forgive HIM! No wonder Jymn Magon got black balled and Doug Gillies got knocked down to kindergarten fare soon after this. She calls herself Soo Ling and no matter how decent she is; Huey just buried her right out of the starting gate. Thankfully; Dewey and Louie pop up from the vase behind Huey to blow him off for logic breaking, lying and making an ass out of himself. Foolmeister covers all; so there you go. For once Louie actually didn't sound annoying. Take a picture of that one folks. Now can we please go to Donald Duck doing something stupid NOW?! Dewey and Louie mock kiss him and Huey takes offense to that like Mr. Hardcore on speed as Soo Ling walks out because she has business for whatever reason and Huey walks away quickly as Dewey and Louie continue to mock him.

So Huey and Soo Ling walk further into Doug Gille's vision of Chinatown (Here's a clue writers: If this is really in China; show them inside a PLANE at the beginning of the episode before they arrive HERE) as the amount of people increase as we see a mage in white/blue/red/black face paint spinning a ring. Okay; that isn't all that offensive. That's merely boring now. He puts his hand through the ring and it produces flowers in his hands. Okay; that is showing off. Why bother with the ring? Just produce the flowers. No ring needed. Easy. Try a ring with deep spikes; then I will be impressed slightly. While I'm at this; what is the point of giving Soo Lin a half shirt if you are going to cover the bottom half with a blue dress? Use a blue dress or a full white shirt? Otherwise; it's just overkill or obvious BS&P exposure. Soo Ling claims that he's a powerful sorcerer and Huey blows it off. I agree for once. You want a powerful sorcerer nowadays you have to (a) create clones of a goddess (b) slain couples on a roof © slaughter countless humans, elfs and gods (d) become a god (d) take over the world. For starters; how about creating a spell that actually makes this show not suck. Sadly that means Huey, Dewey and Louie are going to be dead within the next thirty seconds of course. Huey walks away as he goes for a stick as my disc is constantly breaking up by the second and thus showing that Disney NEVER cared about this series at all and threw this disc out because a few fans thought it was still better than the NEW Disney circa 2006. Huey uncorks his only fan as the mage creates the BLACK CHINESE DRAGON OF DOOM which not is only offensive, racist, but certain to keep Shawn Michaels away to boot as well as Huey takes the FLAMETHROWER OF DOOM right on the ass. HAHA!

At least one good thing about the DVD disc resetting on itself; I was able to use the Episode selection and use the clock timer instead of using a piece of paper to indicate times. Huey and Dewey are now sitting back at the cafe loving this as Huey is forced to use his only fan to cover his ass (oh geez this stuff just writes itself) as Soo Ling laughs at his expense). And then to makes thing even more worse for him; Dewey and Louie steal a scooter (?!!) and steal his only fan and then mock him just to rub him in. Huh?! A funny spot?! From the nephews?! Do my eyes betray me?! Well that just shows how low the writers have to stoop to make them funny I guess: Resort to naked boy jokes to get them over. Real smooth guys. See you on the unemployment line there Doug Gilles. Thankfully; the mage does show mercy and uses his Wii magic to resew Huey's clothes back again. That is SO nice of him. NOT! Soo Lin explains that there is good and evil in magic which is a fine message in itself; but this is QUACK PACK; and the messages don't work around a bunch of losers who are hell's poison and irredeemable. But; the thought and effort are certainly there; I'll give her that much. By the way this is Wantang and nothing as it is seems as that face looks so Hanna Barbera'ish that you know that you are watching a classic....and if my DVD continues freezing like this; I'm going to Youtube to finish this rant. She gives Huey a CHINESE DRAGON MARBLE OF DOOM (check the Hiryu Dragon symbol) and has a heelish look on her face which indicates that she's supposed to be a heel which really means that she is not. And then it changes into a panda and then to Soo Ling as she repeats herself because it's not a mere marble. In other words; this is The Girl From Pango-Pango; only a lot less awesome. Sorry; but without Kit Cloudkicker's kindness this episode has ZERO hope of being awesome no matter how good Soo Ling is.

She goes poof on the marble as Dewey and Louie act like peeping toms behind an alleyway (what a shock?!) as Huey and Soo Ling walk together because Huey is on his way to a historic dig site and wants to show her a little tour. 2:1 odds that Daisy arranged the tour and Kent Powers is there to annoy her to no end. Soo agrees to that little offer of course and of course Dewey and Louie make funny faces and Dewey makes history again being the first person in DTVA history to make fart sounds which shows that Professor Utopum from Kick Ass Girls...ERRR...I mean Powerpuff Girls was NOT the first one to do it in a cartoon. That is simply depressing even by this cartoon's recently lower standards. Dewey and Louie run away; but Huey chases after them and there is the off-screen FCC FRIENDLY ALLEY FIGHT OF DEATH which makes it even MORE depressing. Look; seeing Kit fighting the bum in Save The Tiger was funny because it made sense since Kit USED to be on the streets fighting for his life and therefore that impulse is NATURAL to him no matter how WRONG it may be to US. This is just plain SICK and WRONG. Huey gets the scooter as Dewey and Louie are crumbled in a heap with no blood or scratches whatsoever. Not even a black eye. Oy vey; that is SO BS&P that it is a total pussy. So they were FAKING the whole thing! Even Kit's fight with street pirates in The Idol Rich was a lot more believable than that since at least he came out with injuries. Minor injuries (Get it?! Minor...Oh forget it!) true; but still as Soo get on and they put their helmets on for safety which I approve of no matter how much I hate Huey's guts. That's because there is a lady on board see. Huey rides away and Dewey and Louie eat their smoke and dust (AND THAT IS BAD FOR THEIR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING, AND THIS SERIES! FORGET BAD DARKWING..DUCK EPISODES! Although in this case; WHO CARES?!). Dewey protests that it's their scooter to begin with. Like I'm buying that they have a LICENSE to drive a SCOOTER.... Suuuuurrrreee.

Post-Production Glitch #1: The usual turn Michael Eisner on black slug is in full effect; but it has a twist as Daisy is narrating it this time. Okay; this is getting very surreal even for Michael Eisner. We go to a far shot of the Tower of Wangtan on it's outskirts as Mount Lo. I wonder if this is the homage to Wan Lo I have been hearing about in order to get Lost Horizons reinstated. If so; Disney did a crappy job of it because the artwork on the far shot sucks badly. So we zoom out as we go to some modern glass camps (!!!) (and a few small green pump tents) as Daisy continues to narrate about some ancient treasure being unearthed behind the high fences. Hopefully; it will be the secret to getting Daisy and Donald OUT OF THIS CARTOON. FOREVER! We then go to the camera shot on ground level as we get the wooden gate surrounded on top by barbed wire which we know will never be used as a weapon in this series sadly as we finally get a shot at Daisy as she is going to get an interview of famed archaeologist Dr. William Wu. Yeah; once again, we have a clear heel because his first name is English while his last name is Chinese. Funny how TaleSpin AVOIDED that COMPLETELY. Funny how they avoided broken English COMPLETELY. And still got black balled anyway because the pandas got carried away and wanted to rule the world. What is so wrong with ruling the world. Don't all human beings have some inkling to wanting to rule the world at one point? Isn't that one wet dream they had at one point in their unimportant lives?! Even in the life of PZ Meyers?! Even if you knew it was impossible?! Just because it was impossible doesn't mean it's offensive. Ruling the world does not make you a racist. Oh and just to make it more borderline racist; check out the mustache on that guy and the heelish right eyebrow. Now does that look like a heel; or does that look like a stereotypical Chinese heel?! I cannot believe Jymn Magon/Toby Shelton approved of this story and didn't notice the obvious. So Daisy's new's program is called What in the World?! Which of course is one step closer to What in the Hell which would be cooler; but of course; Disney wouldn't allow it. Ahh; but What in the Heck would have been fine in TaleSpin.

Huey calls for a cut (since when was he the director of this show? I don't remember 12 year old's having director credits in this world?) and the camera pans over to Huey and Soo sitting in the directors chairs taking over. The only time I want to see the MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HARTS is when it's stuffed on Huey's pinhead. Where is Don Karnage when you REALLY need him?! I think Daisy is wondering the same thing at this point too. Donald has the camera and he doesn't like this at all. That oh brother promo he cuts is becoming a shoot the more and more I hear him every episode. Louie and Dewey blow Huey off for that lame promo cutting. For goodness sakes; if you want to act cool; do me a favor and stuff the MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HART on his damn head! At least pay him back for that fake fighting earlier in the episode. Instead we get the worst girlish promo from Dewey I have ever heard as Huey and Soo walk off as Huey wants Soo to stay very, very close to him because he doesn't want her to get lost and break anything, steal anything and be denied of his rape...ERRR...love for him. Dewey's raspberry on Huey is lame; but actually respectable compared to most of his childish spots he has been doing thus far. Soo is not amused by Huey's sexual harassment..ERRR...I mean protection and forces Huey's arm behind his back. Good for her; I'm getting sick and tired of Huey's sexism myself too and I'm a 31 ½ year old male to boot. Huey claims that the it's all about the pif helmets roasting their brains and it's real dangerous. Well; Guy LaDouce is a pervert; so I guess you do have to be careful after all.

So we head to the STEEL GATE OF DOOM as Daisy knock on steel with Donald and the gate opens to reveal Professor Racist Wu (like the evil eyebrows and mustache DON'T give HIM away as a HEEL?!) as he asks if this is the American television crew? I guess we really are in China after all. I was wrong. But Doug Gillies still look like a Hollywood idiot writer from Ruby Spears; make no mistake. Daisy tries to explain herself; but Wu blows them off because he hates reporters which just forces the point that he's the HEEL here. Good going Gillies; no wonder you are doing kindergarten stuff now. On the other hand; if this were today, Wu would clearly be the babyface and Daisy would be the sad heel since Daisy is merely doing her job in a sea of bad change the world idiots like Kent Powers and the new nephews. Life is SO unfair for her. Wu however; needs heat and allows them in on condition that they walk single file and Donald and Daisy sell as Wu goes all army on them. Sadly; Huey doesn't listen to him and Huey and Soo walk double file as Huey blows him off; but Wu takes it well. Bad; bad logic break there Doug as Wu explains that Soo is actually his archaeologist in training. Okay; that sounds extremely contrived and forced there guys because we aren't supposed to see her as a heel right there until much LATER into the episode. We didn't know Kit's girlfriend in Pango-Pango was working for Ermil until after she untied Kit from the chair which was about 75% into THAT episode. We are barely SIX minutes into this episode! Soo greets the doctor and Wu is PISSED as Huey turns into a jackass. Well it's nice to know that even Sun Woo can laugh at itself. That's another spot stolen from Nick; although to be fair; Classic Walt Disney has done that spot before. Soo and Wu (play on Sun Woo perchance?!) walk stage left as Dewey walks behind Huey and proclaims the old Chinese proverb which is he who is blinded by love is often blindsided by life. Wow...if only the new nephews took that advice by heart; Quack Pack could have been half as good as Ducktales instead of being half as good as Recess.

Huey at least cuts the jackass crap as we head to the SHED OF DOOM as Professor Racist Wu and Daughter Soo Wu beside him as he declares that he will reveal the culmination of a lifetime of his research. Well; it cannot be any worse than the nephews; so this should not remotely suck much. He pushes the button to reveal two holes filled with an army of clay terracotta warriors. When these stiffs are more over than the nephews; the writers should have just taken the hint right there and BURNED the 39 episodes we SAW from the record; not just CANCELLED the series. Daisy calls them so lifelike and over. Okay; I made up the over part; but we all know it's true. Professer Wu exchanges notes on the history on them because they were crafted out of clay 2000 years ago. Now call me crazy; but I would not want to bring computers and machines into a high pressure area like this if they were made out of a material that can easily shatter. I'm just saying guys. Otherwise; I smell a stereotypical rat here. Donald gets all giddy on the word treasure and drops his camera as he goes to the conveniently placed Asian pot (check the pearl necklace hanging inside) and tries to open it. If I'm Professor Wu; I would let him do it for the next 15 minutes or so because this episode is dying fast like most Quack Pack episode and anything Donald Duck does will help the ride smooth itself out. Trust me on that one Wu.

He struggles and opens the lid and it reveals the mother lode of gold and he's got the GOLD FEVER OF DOOM again. Symptoms: Wobbling arms which cause him to squash the gold lid down so hard that he only has his legs walking solid. HAHA! See Donald; never trust the sick powers of gold fever. No matter how stereotypical Mrs Beakly gets in Ducktales; she is the foremost expert on Gold Fever. Remember that. Donald rants like the angry tempered duck that he is (DUH!). Dewey places his hands in the gold; but Huey completely ignores him because he has the camera on Soo like a peeping tom pervert as she is using a wooden brush on a terracotta warrior. Let's face facts: Donald angry= funny; Soo using a brush= unfunny. Get the picture Huey?! Louie puts his hand up to stop this outrage for all Donald Duck fans in the name of decency and humor. Or maybe just humor. Besides; they are leaving the area tonight when Donald finishes taping the story. Huey doesn't like this; so he's going to make sure Donald never finishes taping the story. Once again; it's Transmission Impossible Part Deux only more offensive and sexist. Huey smiles with evil intentions as he pets the camera.....

So we logically go to a shot of the grave with the terracotta warriors as Donald is standing on top of one of the clay warriors. HOLY CRAP?! Didn't Wu say NO TOUCHING? AH! Forget it! That logic died a long time ago. I stopped counting logic breaks in this series because I know there is going to be more than ten of them per episode BEFORE I even get to the first minute. Why try to reveal them?! Jymn Magon's episode of nine logic breaks was the exception. The hair piece clay break of course and Donald freefalls and somehow lands in the vase about thirty feet AWAY from the grave. EXPLAIN THAT ONE KIDS?! I might owe Chuck Tately an apology after this episode is over. Might. It of course sets up Donald spinning around in the golden vase and the vase drops down and rolls around and drops down the wooden plank as Daisy is interviewing Wu (Man; Wu's eyesight is TERRIBLE!) as they finally see Donald coming down the hill to fetch a pail of CRAPPY LOGIC BREAK NUTS. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm....Look; I enjoy seeing Donald Duck take funny bumps as much as the next guy; but that logic made zero sense. He should have fell ten feet inside the grave; not thirty feet beside it into a vase.

Donald catches Wu and Wu becomes an Oconomy. Okay; that's not really true; since that's a Japanese Happy pancake; not a Chinese pancake (and Wu is hardy happy to begin with), but I needed something on short notice and it really works well for the joke. That leads to about three or four terracotta warriors getting shattered on impact. WHAT?! Ummm; check your internal logic here. If Donald was rolling down the hill; he shouldn't be anywhere NEAR the warriors; unless he reversed field and went BACK up the hill and then went into the grave. And the vase gets destroyed of course; despite being made of gold. Naturally; Donald and Wu make the most racist Scooby Doo Snow Angel Spot in DTVA history just to annoy me and then plop down as half of his grave collection is shattered completely. This would have been funnier if the logic made more sense than it did. Otherwise; it's really contrived. And wasn't Donald supposed to NOT be on the warrior to START with?! Wu proclaims that the interview is over and walks out and Daisy apologizes for the mess. She should apologize for the lack of logic; but that is asking for too much at this point. Daisy think she has enough as Donald goes to the camera and checks the video tape slot; but there is no videotape there. D'OH! Now you don't suppose a certain Huey character decided not to remove the tape perchance?! I mean he wouldn't put his sexist attitude ahead of his family now would he? Answer: Yes he would and he did. See; no matter what critics say; kidnapping angles work better in these situations.

Daisy is PISSED off at Donald and she is seriously (insert swear word here) so now she goes over to Professor Racist Wu and is forced to suck up to him. Wu actually agrees to a re-shoot as long as it is tomorrow as Huey destroys the evidence to further show his sexism as he wants to move his work to Mandarin Castle. Careful there Wu; that was dangerously close to using broken English there pal. You know how PISSED out Asian Americans get when you use broken English in their presence. And of course there is thunder and lightning effects right on cue just to force the point that he is a heel. So that logically leads to Mandarin Castle on the top of Mount Lo. Which is fitting because this episode cannot stoop to any new lows. Can it?! It starts raining outside with thunder and lightning as we cut to inside as the nephews and Soo look at the displays while continuing to violate Wu's rule of doom which was if I recall: DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING! Damn; Wu is such a poor rules master that it isn't funny. Daisy is impressed by all of these priceless artifacts as I pray that Donald Duck on camera does some more hijinks to amuse me for the next 12 minutes instead of Huey annoying me with Soo. Thankfully; Donald goes to the AXE & BOW ARMOR KNIGHTS OF DOOM as Daisy scolds him not to cause trouble before Doctor Wu comes back and Donald blows her off. Good; because I WANT Donald to cause as much chaos and mayhem as humanly possible so I can at least go out of this DVD on a bang instead of a whimper. Donald turns around and the AXE OF PAIN comes down right on Donald's ass. HAHA!

Sadly; only the feathers come off. Donald gets mad and pushes the armored knight and that tips it into the bow knight which fires the crossbow (Man; Wu should learn to UNARM these knights BEFORE displaying THEM!) as we get some arrow pinball as it destroys some stuff off-screen that we don't see as Donald panics and bites his hands with his teeth. I don't know why Donald is so worried. It could be Dewey doing his childish antics to PISS you off again. Have you thought about that Unca Donald?! Sadly; the only real damage we see is with Wu's hat; but that's enough to get Doctor Wu PISSED off. Donald hums to get the attention away from himself as Soo then OUT OF NOWHERE explains that there has been a robbery in the place. OH! So THAT's why Racist Wu is so PISSED off! Why not SAY that FROM the VERY START?! Huey of course is such a sexist that he doesn't care because they cannot arrest you for stealing his heart. No; but they can arrest you for sexually harassing hers. Dewey and Louie blows him off as Louie feels like he is about to vomit. I felt like vomiting at the beginning of episode 1 like about 90 seconds into THAT episode; so you are way too little and way too late to start doing it Louie. Daisy then starts interviewing Soo who explains the situation on the robberies showing a shattered glass case as evidence as Doctor Racist Wu is at the door and demands that the muckrakers must leave. Oh yeah; that is not contrived and forced in the very least no siree! Okay; you are the heel; we get it Wu! Soo apologizes for all this as she claims it's better that they better go which to me sounds like a good decision as she walks towards Wu and Wu slams the door shut. Louie calls this bad but Daisy calls this great because it's a great story; but Huey is PISSED. Oh swell; in Huey's eyes, Wu is a kidnapper like Kit sees in her girlfriend. Problem is; Kit's girlfriend was at least seen as legit kidnapped as he was also kidnapped. This doesn't work because we all know Wu and Soo are both legit heels anyway from the very start due to their evil looks from earlier in the episode. Daisy and the nephews all exit stage right as she wants to dig up more dirt on the robberies; but Huey stays behind because something is up as I think this episode is about to get much worse than it already is.

So we logically go to inside the dark room as a guard closes up shop for the night as Doctor Racist Wu demands that no one gets in for the night. If only Wu; if only. He uses the WOODEN DOOR STOPPER OF DOOM; because lord only knows that will work on mallards. We get a pan shot of the museum and all of the priceless historic stuff as we see a not so price less CHEST OF DEMONS open up and out pops Huey with a flashlight. D'OH! Huey goes on this lame promo about his biggest catch of them all which makes me want to gag and apologize to Drake Mallard for EVER making fun of him. And then the most absurd and saddest thing in history happens: a beheaded Soo kisses Huey again and again complete with squeak sound. Seriously! Thank you for stomping on Kit Cloudkicker's corpse Huey Duck! I hope you are proud of yourself you rotten sexist! He nearly bump into a terracotta warrior dressed up into a mage (good because it wouldn't be as funny as if Donald Duck would do it) and he insults it's bathrobe. He shines the flashlight on the other naked terracotta warriors and then notices that one of them has a few pearl necklaces on it that it shouldn't be wearing. Huey then brings the wooden drawers (NOT THOSE ONES!) and that brings out the REGAL CUTLASS which I was hoping it was Don Karnage out to defend Kit's honor and slain Huey Duck for dancing on Kit's dead corpse. Sadly; it's a terracotta warrior rising from the dead. BOR—ING! Oh well; you do what the Chinese do on short notice I guess. The clay warriors with spears comes to life and very slowly (they are GOLEMS; what do you expect?!) surround Huey and Huey goes all Hanna Barbera on us complete with looping and sound effects. Now you know you are watching a classic. Huey thinks that this is impossible and the statues surround him anyway to shut him up as the segment ends 11 minutes in. Almost there...almost to freedom...just 11 more minutes left and it'll all be over my son....

After the commercial break; Huey tells them that it's not polite to point and then one of them point their spear right in Huey's ass. HAHA! About damn time someone told Huey where to stick his attitude! Huey takes a decent bump right into a clay statue and somehow it doesn't shatter thus shattering the CONTINUITY the writers were shooting for in this episode right there. Huey then completely embrasses himself by tucking himself in between the statue's legs as this is the attack of the pottery people. As opposed to the village people? Is there really any difference in this case?! And my DVD keeps breaking up; but at least it's not freezing in spots like it was earlier. And now Huey is stuck. Well; maybe you shouldn't have acted like a chicken and acted like a duck like the old Huey in Ducktales. Huey pops out and slides onto the Red Hiryu Carpet of Doom because we need some chaos and mayhem to occur. Too bad it isn't DONALD on the carpet to make it funny. Huey thinks he's lost them which is silly because they are GOLEMS. They aren't that hard to out run and then he gets gonged right into the gong. I betcha Jymn Magon had THAT inserted into the final notes before he got black balled. And I know this show had lots of those BS&P Change Notes since when Ducks By Nature was being made; writers on Usenet mentioned how many changes were made and how many of them were IGNORED. Go figure. He was the story editor after all.

Huey floats and then acts like Paper Mario on speed before coming down like a piece of paper. That is the funniest spot I have ever seen in this series which proves just how much this show sucks. And then the guard shows up as Huey mumbles and he wants answers. Actually; Huey not being able to answer is the best thing that could happen to him. Why? Because the gong shuts him up and therefore he doesn't act in such a way that I don't want to beat his FACE in. Sadly; the guard unshakes him and Huey speaks normal English. DAMMIT! You shouldn't have done that; drunk Huey was better than normal Huey. And of course Huey makes an ass out of himself. Now notice the statues walking towards him when Huey sees them; but when the guards see them, the statues somehow stand at attention on the side which makes no sense since they shouldn't be THERE anyway. That guard is a total numbskull as Soo runs in and the guard realizes that the trespasser is with her (well; Huey is a trespasser so I agree with him; and he's a crappy one at that. If it was Kit; that guard would be counting his teeth on one finger if you catch my drift.) and she decides to give him the title of assistant of taking inventory. Okay; that means she is like Kit's girlfriend; a sad heel now, except we aren't supposed to realize THAT until AFTER she ADMITS that she WORKS for a BAD GUY. Soo accuses Huey of falling asleep. No Soo; Disney been committing homicide on Huey; but we cannot stay THAT on DTVA so asleep has to do on short notice. Huey then makes a joke about an alarm and the gong and it is so contrived and forced that the guard doesn't buy it. Oh geez Gillies; no wonder you do kindergarden stuff now; this joke only works on them and even they think it's contrived now.

Post-Production Glitch #2: Another half second black slug to turn Michael Eisner on again.

So we go to a shot of a nice lake and mountains AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Read: After Dark) as a boatman is rowing a boat gently down the stream with Soo and Huey exchanging notes on why Huey was in the castle. See; Soo believes that the statues come alive because of the black magic. Umm; this would have work, except for one tiny flaw: The computer in the background when we saw the Terracotta Warriors the first time pretty much gives away how they come alive WELL in advance. Soo then accuses Racist Wu right away of being the guy responsible for stealing the treasure which all points to SOO being the real thief by proxy. I'm calling the finish right now and goddess help my soul if this is true. Notice that the guy who threw the bag in the garbage can at the beginning of the episode is ROWING the boat?! That is simply terrible CONTINUITY guys! Why can't the writers make any of this make ANY sense is beyond me...Remember; this is the same Jymn F'N Magon who created the greatest cartoon EVER created in DTVA history and was a part of two of the greatest cartoons in DTVA history BEFORE TaleSpin was created. How low the mighty have fallen indeed? From the top of monster hit in syndication, the greatest child character in Disney history, and one of the greatest series in history to now in danger of being a mere freelancer for life and forgotten because he wrote and story edited two episodes out of the Mister T playbook.

Soo wants Huey to catch Wu in the act and she wants Huey to do it. Strange since now she is willing to work with him after she wanted little to do with HIM for all the harassment she had to PUT up with HIM. Sounds like she's the defacto heel now to me guys. Prove me wrong Doug Gillies. Huey gets giddy like the sexist that he is and Soo kisses him on the lips and naturally Sun Woo blows the kissing on the lips spot badly (no excuse for BS&P since it was clearly on screen) and Huey turns into a red firework to break all logic and reason. No matter how much crap I give to Oscar Proud and his family; Oscar would NEVER stoop to these spots. And his coat turns into a heart, natch as he lands on the dock. Now this would be a perfect time for Dewey and Louie to mock him, but it doesn't happen sadly. Soo gets onto the docks and tells him her MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN which is to hide outside the castle and wait for any sign of terracotta warriors. Yeah; that will work really well since most babyfaces fall asleep when THAT happens. Bad coloring mistakes occur as Soo's lips turn from black to red depending on the shot as she kisses Huey again this time on the cheek lest he turns into a logic breaking firework. You know I would accept these logic breaks if this was done on much better characters by the way. Soo walks away as Huey notices that she dropped her green marble of doom. And of course she disappears without logic or reason which is par for the course for this cartoon. Huey tries to turn around and enter the boat; but the CONTINUITY ERROR rower rows away and Huey gets a dunking. HAHA! Too bad the CONTINUITY ERROR showed up too soon for me to mock....and it's a terracotta warrior; just to make the whole thing make even less sense. So the guy who threw the thing in the trash can was a clay warrior? I don't get it?!

Post Production Glitch #3: Another half second black slug to turn Michael Eisner on...That might be a new DTVA record for annoying me...or maybe not....who knows?!

So we return to the CASTLE OF DOOM as we see Dewey in a tree wearing an army hat and has the TRANSMITTER OF DOOM. Oh yeah; that isn't racist in any way no siree! Americans invading a sacred Asian castle; that's really drole guys?! It's things like this that make me lose respect for Jymn Magon as a human being. Louie is in the same tree thus rendering the transmission between them pointless as they invoke the BI-TELESCOPE OF DOOM and notice the CLAY WARRIORS OF DOOM going out of the castle with the SACK OF STINK as Louie wants Dewey to alert Huey Romeo. Okay; now there's a last name Huey could steal as a respectable last name. Dewey invokes the TRANSMITTER OF DOOM and we get the worst Warriors promo I have ever heard in my life. Sorry; but once I saw the Pingu version in Mugen NOTHING.....AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING could top it in terms of weirdness and awesomeness. Huey is like a Rambo Ripoff (what a shock?) as he has his camera and takes pictures of the CLAY GOLEMS OF DOOM walking out stealing stuff just as Soo expected them to be. The warrior drops down from the roof and completely MURDERS his legs and then waddles away in a pretty funny spot much to Huey's surprise. The racist nephews follow the now heroic handicapped Robin Hood statue towards Doctor Enlightened Wu's house because we all know that Soo is officially the heel now since the racist nephews think Wu is the thief here which we all know he is NOT.

So we cut to the nephews going towards the open window and look inside as we see Doctor Wu's reading room (I guess) as the handicapped heroic statue drops his robin hood stash on the green carpets (a couple of golden goblets) as the racist army nephews enter through the window. Huey wants zero noise of course; so Huey yells from the top of his lungs that the statue is a blockhead and pulls the carpet from underneath. What a heartless bastard this Huey Rambo Duck is?! He could be Mister T's long lost son. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... I pity the fool who decided to tell me that joke was safe to use. And the warrior gets destroyed of course as Louie promptly blows him off for obvious and not so obvious reasons. Huey calls it his CRAPPY MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN. Okay; just his plan; but I implied it yes siree as footsteps are afoot as the racist Rambo nephews bail. Dewey and Louie hide inside the APE JAWS OF HALF LIFE while Huey just hides behind something. I don't care. I just want this episode to end so I can move on with the re-rant to TaleSpin's A Bad Reflection On You in Mid-May. Sadly; the teeth completely expose Dewey and Louie anyway as they come down as Doctor Wu enters; but it doesn't matter as he notices the warrior head in his workshop and he's SHOCKED and APPALLED of all this. Huey then exposes himself thus blowing the nephews cover anyway as Dewey and Louie blitz and grab him as the lights go out. Well; I did hear a click; so it wasn't Paul Hayman syndrome infecting this episode.

This leads to the FCC FRIENDLY FIGHT OF DEATH and Huey turns on the lights and Louie gets MURDERED with the BLOCK OF DEATH right on his head with the biggest phillac symbol on his head. Darkwing Duck: Showoff! Huey does the fluster facepalm (too late dude; I've been doing that a hundred times SINCE this show started) and the lights go out again and this time Wu is tied up with a carpet and his mouth is taped shut. DAMMIT! I wanted to see Huey get MURDERED by Louie to pay off the joke. Third times the charm Doug Gillies! Don't you realize THAT?! Huey gets on the table as the lights are on as he proclaims that Soo is right and demands a confession to all of his crimes. I think the fact that Wu was surprised as he was with the warrior in his room clearly points to SOO being the thief here Huey. Huey pulls off the tape and logic breaks again as the mustache and mouth come clean off as Wu blows him off because he has the wrong person. And since it's the new nephews; Wu is the babyface here by default. Huey doesn't buy it. You know; only Dale would be buying this crap Huey is selling and even he would have noticed that Wu was telling the truth by NOW! That tells you how much these nephews suck.

However; the torture MUST CONTINUE as Wu proclaims that only the Jade crown can bring the warriors to life and Huey points to the crown chart as evidence as he insults him while Wu blows him off. I wish Wu could break out of that carpet bonds and MURDER Huey right now so we can end this suffering; but I doubt that will happen because Disney needs those losers for...wait for it...the QUACKSTREET BOYS! Proof that the Jonas Borthers are truly not gay after all. They may suck; but they aren't gay. Oh Quack Pack; you are gay; so very, very gay. Wu explains that the crown was stolen from Mount Lo and Huey accuses Wu of stealing it. What a F'N idiot this Huey fellow is?! Why would Wu steal the crown himself after claiming that the crown was stolen from HIM?! Unless Huey was drunk when watching Plunder and Lightning and I shudder to think... Wu then accuses Huey of stealing the crown because he has a piece of it which is the marble in his hand which is part of the chart. Dewey takes the chart and then asks the question of who gave him the marble and who told him about the warriors? Old Chinese proverb Huey...you already forgotten it as usual because you are a sexist PIG!! As opposed to Rebecca who is a pighead. AHHAHAHAHAHA! SLAP! OUCH! Ummm... And Huey is in tears and PISSED off as Huey gets the marble back to end the segment nearly seventeen minutes in.

After the commercial break; we head to the dark room as we are at the table with a map on the table as Wu explains that the jade bead possesses some magic left. Oh yeah; let's just overkill and overbook the episode while we are at it. It's not like the episode can be saved now. The bead dances around the map in a perfect pattern to the caves and makes to the caves of Kow Tow and there is where Soo is with the jade crown of course. So that logically leads to the Kow Tow Cave which is basically a cave with a Pi shaped stone in front of the entrance. Oh that it sooooo original.....NOT! And sure enough without any build up; context and with lots of gold, warriors and offensive makeup; Soo wears the jade crown minus the jade stone of the right side. So we get some entertainment to waste time as two terracotta warriors dance. WHAT?! Oh great?! We just have to waste time with this crap. Can't we have her doing evil things to Donald or something so Huey has a REASON to want to strangle Soo?! Huey is ALREADY a sexist PIG; it's not like BS&P can prevent THAT fact from becoming ANY LESS obvious NOW! And it's a country hick hoedown just to rub it in. It might have worked in TaleSpin; but it's OFFENSIVE when an ASIAN character is DOING it; in particular HEELS.

Soo then brings out the violin and I hope she pierces her neck with the stick to end my suffering; but no dice as I expected because Eisner is the god of Disney and he hates my guts. This surpasses ANYTHING DARKWING....DUCK has EVER done on the REALLY STUPID list and maybe everything MONTY has EVER done. And that covers A LOT of ground. Thankfully the sexist pig Huey arrives proclaiming that she can go directly to jail. Or be the stunt double for Meg Griffin. Either one works well. I see he bought Dewey, Louie and Enlightened Wu; but not Donald which ensures that this episode is going to be a DUD for sure now. Wu demands that Soo give him the crown and of course Soo cuts a long promo on him while the heroes do nothing of course before she summons a warrior to pound them into silly putty. Only one?! Just summon five of them to make sure there is no escape you little bitch! This girl has all looks and no brains. Remember; Toby Shelton was the person behind Rebecca Cunningham business major. If this were Ducktales; those warriors would be shattered into a million pieces by the big ass symbols of doom by Gyro Gearloose's invention of course. Louie backs up (well everyone back up from ONE warrior....please!) and grabs the MANCHU SWORD OF DOOM) and then blitzes the warrior as Wu protests this outrage because it is priceless. Finally; Louie shows some energy and Wu wants him to back off?! Idiot!! Sadly; the sword is a dud as the warrior slices the sword blade in two with the spear handle. Okay; that logic was wacky and Sun Woo blew the spot was blown as usual. Wu of course points out the obvious as he is flustered. Maybe you should have TOLD him that it was USELESS FIRST YOU ASSHOLE!

Louie backs away and Huey stabs the sword into the CHEST OF DEMONS as he wants the silver ritual goblet as he continues to insult Doctor Wu's name as he uses it as a device to fill golden coins into it and the sword as a slingshot. Oooookkkkkayyyy...I guess this cannot be any worse than the hoedown from earlier. And that actually works as the warrior and the goblet is destroyed of course much to Wu's disgust. Now Soo is PISSED off and orders all of her warriors to attack. Why not just do THAT from the start YOU BITCH?! So that leads to the nephews using various priceless international objects to get slingshot and the clay Golems all get shattered into pieces; DUH! Soo was a lot better as a bouncing babyface than a bitch heel and it SHOWS. Wu should have been the heel. No wonder Gillies is...well; you know..No wonder Jymn got...well; you know. Dewey drops a CHEST OF DEMONS on Huey's foot just to annoy me and Huey's foot grabbing spot as Soo fills the sack with treasure as Dewey mocks Huey because Soo is flying the coop. So they slingshot Huey with the sword and they misses by a mile as Huey lands with a really crappy bump right into the dragon chair. Huey should have seen Plunder and Lightning Part Two: That spot always ends up IN the chair; not in Soo's lap. It only so happens Baloo was IN the chair at the time Molly LANDED on his belly. HEE HEE! Idiot! Huey sees Hiryus as Soo proclaims that nothing is what it seems as Soo proclaims for the throne to rise and it suddenly changes into a....Dragon Knight?! Oooookkkkayyyyy?! Now you know Doug Gillies was on an illegal substance when he wrote this episode. Why is the dragon knight wearing BLUE underpants even though he was wearing NONE on his seat when he was a DRAGON THRONE?! I club BS&P!

Huey drops on his ass and panics like Scooby Doo on acid (what a shock?!) as we finally get all the HB banes in place and he takes another FLAMETHROWER OF DOOM to the ass and gets his head stuck in a vase. He breaks the priceless vase (BASTARD!) and blows his naked ass out as then we get the most depressing sight in Sun Woo history as I suddenly have a Hanna Barbera Flashback coming to me. Seriously; it's 19:44 on the DVD. Dewey and Louie try to slingshot the ANCIENT ANVIL OF NEIDHART; but the sword breaks; DUH! Now you know you are screwed (in more ways than one) when THAT happens. Everyone runs up the golden money hill as Dewey and Louie are forced to force Wu up the hill to fetch a pail of Wu Nuts. Oh great; that is going to hurt my creditability as an enlightened writer in the morning when Chris Barat sees this; I assure ye. Thank goodness there is only two minutes left in this episode. The Dragon Knight (in blue underpants!) roars as Dewey proclaims that they are going to be done in by walking flower pots. Which is actually WORSE (and funnier) than Drake Mallard getting PLANTED by Bushroot somehow so....YES! YES! DO IT! DO IT! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Huey cracks the vase completely (BASTARD TIMES INFINITY!) and it's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE DRAGON EDITION~! This is true Sidism at it's so bigoted. Huey runs around the gold pile and tries to sneak behind the dragon knight; but the dragon tail stops that from happening. YAY!. Huey bails stage right. Soo is loving this as the other nephews and Enlightened Wu throw international priceless objects at the warriors and they get smashed and thus rendering the previous scene pointless as par for the course. DAMN YOU DOUG GILLES! I just knew they had to win somehow. But they'll NEVER stop the DRAGON KNIGHT OF DEATH! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am officially losing all ability to function at this point. Huey grabs the sword & shield from a random gold pile (might as well have a sign reading: Conviently Placed Dragon Slayer and Fire Reflector Shield while we are at it too!) as Huey goes for the tail and slashes off-screen which the dragon promptly no-sells (which renders the off-screen slash pointless); so the dragon breathes fire at it which Huey takes right in the face; but comes out unharmed; but the shield and sword melts anyway. Bad, bad, bad form there Sun Woo. Huey then bails and goes for the wooden SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT. Sure; a metal sword couldn't stop a dragon, so a WOODEN hammer is going to slightly do better somehow?! I think Huey is truly on drugs. The dragon turns hammer into burned hot dog to break more logic and reason although that makes more sense than any at this point.

So Huey then goes into his pocket and brings out his jade bead and then cuts a He-Man promo. Oh man; how gay can you get Huey?! Soo blows it off because without the crown the bead is useless like him. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Huey proclaims her to be wrong (BOO! HISS!) because nothing is what it seems. I wouldn't go against him knowing how logic breaks in this series Soo. The Dragon Knight runs towards him as Huey flicks the bead like a marble and the dragon trips on the marble and drops on his back with a MAN-SIZED bump. Oy vey there as Soo gets swiped by the dragon on the throne and takes a wussy bump on the floor; but the power of suggestion drops the crown from her head and onto the floor as the warriors surround the other heroes on top of the gold piles. This makes zero sense since she has about only 20 warriors tops; and they had enough ammo to destroy all of them by NOW! So this episode should be OVER by now. But no; we have warriors surrounding Huey's brothers in a lame dramatic finish as Soo mocks Huey as Huey has the jade crown because he doesn't know the crown's secrets. Huey then goes over to the fallen Dragon Knight and takes a dragon horn from it and plays baseball with it and smashes the Jade Crown right into the wall. WHAT?! What kind of respect is that?! Wasn't Wu's?! Ah forget it?! My head hurts and now even Wu is calling the kids by pop-culture names. The world is truly coming to an end. Not even Bob Iger can poison this American Popular Culture; it's already poisoned.

So we cut to Soo being placed in the jail truck and Daisy narrating the whole thing of course as the jail truck goes away for good. Plus any hope for Disney to make a good episode ever again until Hercules: The Animated Series. Well; there is always Tad Stones; he is our last hope now. Daisy finishes her spiel saying nothing of note and Donald cuts the camera as Daisy goes over to Dewey and Louie being worried about Huey. Personally; I'm more worried; Donald DIDN'T get INVOLVED in this episode after the NINE minute mark of this episode. He was BADLY needed in this episode. Huey looks somber; but Dewey reminds Daisy of one thing: nothing is what it seems as we see Huey cheer up as he is once again modeling for two older teens because he is a sexist pig as usual. I man; they look like eighteen year old's and Huey look like 13 maybe for god's sake. Please.......Huey gets the perverted double kiss of doom and Huey smiles; double wink, circle fade out to end at 21:14...Screw you Disney Television Animation..Thank god this DVD set is over! DUD (0%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; it's over and I officially give up. I thought that these three episodes would be a fun ride; but it turned out to be a nightmare with three hellish nephews pushing the crappy button every chance they got on camera. This episode was no exception. I'm not going to bother running down why this episode sucks because then I'll be here all day. I sum it up with one question: Was I ranting on Quack Pack or a Mister T episode? Seriously; I thought I was ranting on the later the longer this episode went. And of course Sun Woo animation was on it's worst behavior as was everyone else as Donald Duck didn't even get to have much of a chance to be funny for a change. Overall; this was probably Agony Booth bad and I think Albert Walker should also rant on Quack Pack as well as Mister T; they are basically the same show now.

Well; that ends my mini experiment of torture with Quack Pack and lucky me; I came out alive and that is what counts. There are still 36 episodes left in this hellish cartoon; but let me point out some of the good and bad of this series.

Good: Daisy & Donald Duck. Donald Duck might be half of what he was; but like pizza even half of good is still really good. When Donald is given a chance to be funny Donald Duck can deliver. Sadly; this episode was a bad example. I also like Daisy Duck the most. She needed the makeover the most; but the makeover was really a good payoff and sadly she was really in the wrong show in my opinion. If she was in Ducktales doing the EXACT same gig to the letter; she would have been killer. Miss Beakly and Webby would have been exposed as the stereotypes they are and we would not have to wait until 1989 and Gadget Hackwrench.

Okay: Kent Powers & Knuckles. When Kent is against the nephews; I really like him for obvious reasons against everyone else; he is not so good since he comes off a tad too heartless and over the top. Knuckles is okay as a one joke pet and has some good interactions with Daisy; but not much else.

Bad: Gwumpki...If he loses the broken English and bad European accent; he would be okay. Otherwise; he will always come off as crappy and a borderline racist stereotype. Bad, bad form there guys. At least he can be easily fixed unlike some characters I know.....
- Using Toby Shelton as Supervising Producer: He had zero clue how to perform in that role. Jymn Magon knew how to do that role and do it well and it ultimately poisoned everyone from top to bottom creating this mess you see.
- Excessive BS&P meddling and note padding that was ignored and thus creating chaos and confusion. I'll explain about this more when I find the notes because I seem to have lost them at the moment
- Using the nephews as the main focus: The nephews were such poison already that they dragged everyone down to their level. Had they were playing second fiddle like the Ducktales were to Scoorge McDuck; I think you might have a better result.
- A lot of plot device that only work for 11 minute shorts. Many episodes were PADDED because they were 11 minute wonders extended for 22 minute stories.
- Darkwing Duck style comedy written for an asinine sitcom style. Darkwing Duck only works because it's an ACTION cartoon. Quack Pack is a sitcom/soap opera. Sitcoms/Soap Operas need more TaleSpin comedy; a lot less Darkwing Duck comedy. Jymn Magon of all people had the formula RIGHT there in his paws and he MISSED THAT?!

Ugly: The Nephews: Need I say more.....? The less said the better.
- Logic Breaks galore. Every episode had more than 15 logic breaks except for Transmission Impossible which had nine. Simply unacceptable even in 1996.
- Blown Animation....I haven't seen enough of Toon City Animation (Heavy Dental which was okay) to get a read; but I have read horror stories on their animation practices. This episode's animation from Sun Woo was an abomination pure and simple. WD-OZ for Transmission Impossible was actually halfway decent.

So there is a pretty good idea on what I was dealing with in the three episodes. I think it was a huge mistake of not putting Jymn Magon on the top of the heap supervising producer wise and it poisoned everything from top to bottom and thus we got this mess. If you think this is harsh; wait until the REALLY bad stuff Disney DIDN'T release on DVD I get to on Youtube...If I live to see that day on Youtube....Next up is a much better piece of entertainment; one Jymn Magon can be proud of: A Bad Reflection On You Part One/Two OAV. So.....

Thumbs down for this episode (and the entire DVD set) and I'll see you next time.

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