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The Agony of Cartooning: The Fifty Worst Cartoons I Have Ever Seen!

By: Gregory Weagle
HA! I made another funnie! - Splinter, TMNT II Movie

The Agony Booth: That infamous torture from Star Trek (I believe that was were the idea comes from) is where the worst offenders of entertainment suffer acutely for giving us such awful final products that puts what you think is a bad product into it's proper prespective. This website is the place that I visit often because one of my favorite fans of my rants on TaleSpin was actually comparing my style to that of Albert Walker (Thanks Gabe!), who happens to be the webmaster. Reading some of the rants he did and it was not far off base. A few TaleSpin fans hang out (Mark Lungo and Kooshmesiter) at the fourms of the Agony Booth and one of the most talked about debates on the fourms is the for the fifty worst animation shows ever made. It was so popular (and so messy and out of place) that another top fifty list was made which was messier. Well if you were a creator of those cartoons. Since people love (and hate) me when I attack cartoons they don't like (or like depending on their mood); so it's time for me to unleash my attack on the worst fifty cartoons that I have ever seen. This is not going to be pretty for people who like the following shows; but critical thoughts is rarely pretty.

Now before I begin what will be the longest editorial that I have ever written; I would like to address how this list was compiled. [1.] Any shows that I have not seen are disqualified from this list. So for those who are waiting with baited breath on my dissection and attacks on shows like Mister T, Loonatics Unleashed, M.C. Hammer, Turbo Teen and others which were popular choices from the Agony Booth thread on "50 Worst Animation Shows" (Parts I and II); you might as well go back to the Agony Booth. I haven't seen either any of the shows; or in Loonatics Unleashed's case haven't seen enough of the show to make a proper ruling. So Loonatics is safe...for now anyway. [2.] Any show that has live-action elements that are needed for the story to work are also disqualified from the list. While that means Mister T is legal (the bookends are not required for the actual show to work); Power Rangers, Barney & Friends and Teletubbies are not. [3.] Only shows under ** are eligible; but even a ** animation show has no assurances that it will be on this list (not that any writer/creator would dream of getting on this list.) [4.] Shows released after September 1st, 2006 are not eligible. So without further delay, here is the top fifty worst shows I have seen in my _miserable_ life......


[50.] The Mighty Hercules (**)

The original animated adventures of Hercules, "hero of song and story". Gifted "with the strength of ten ordinary men" courtesy of his magic ring Hercules routinely saves ancient Greece from assorted baddies, accompanied by several (generally unhelpful) sidekicks.

My Thoughts: Okay; before someone attacks me for attacking the Disney cartoon which is based on the stories of Hercules; this is not from the Disney show. This show actually existed back in the early 1960's and was created by Adventure Cartoon Productions who would prove to be the inspiration for Hanna Barbera's style of animation which for animation buffs was not a good thing at all. To be perfectly honest; this show's plotlines weren't half bad and while Hercules' sidekick Newton was the third most annoying character ever created (next to Spongebob and Cosmo) because he repeats every line in such a fashion that he sounds like a girl half the time; the villians and monster were not only kick butt, they actually look and sound threathening. I don't know who did the sound effects for this show; but hearing a monster hiss in this show would scare me to death. However; they weren't really threathening because of the one factor that killed this show: the animation. Besides the obvious comparsions to Hanna Barbera (Lips only move, looping while running, static backgrounds etc.); Adventure Cartoon Productions was even cheaper than Hanna Barbera was as this product was clearly created on a shoestring budget. I'll let Jeope from USIMDB comments section on this show say it best:

In one episode, Herc's nemesis, the conniving wizard Daedelus, gains control of a deadly flying dragon and instructs it to destroy Hercules. Out of the sky it spirals towards Herc, who runs headlong into battle...behind a giant rock. No fooling. The entire tussle takes place behind this rock. Now that's thrifty cartooning.

That would be unintentionally funny if it wasn't so cheap. However; the real reason they did this was due to another episode which exposed Mighty Hercules. Hercules would square off againest a monster (the one who hissed) who looks really scary and looks capable of killing Hercules if he wanted to. The problem is that apparently violence was a bigger no-no than it was even in the Peggy Charren era; that Hercules and the monster don't even make contact with each other and the fight looks more like a funny dance number. Believe me; watching that again with my 29 year old mind made me laugh out loud at just how sad it is that no one was able to hit each other. Okay; that's not exactly true as Hercules has to win the fight so he's given one punch that makes contact and it usually kills the monster dead. Watch it carefully; it looks so slip-shot. That's how cheap Mighty Hercules was. Thankfully; Aventure Cartoon Productions never got a chance to develop another cartoon again. They didn't need to since this show was convincing enough for other cartoon studios to mimic this style and causes a backlash that would be felt in the years to come until Disney of all people came along in 1985 and gave us cheap television animation that wasn't insulting to the intellegence of the audience.

[49.] Rocket Robin Hood (**)

The futuristic adventures of the legendary outlaw and his Merry Men in outer space.

My Thoughts: If there was one cartoon that sezs Canada without fail then Rocket Robin Hood was the one. This was the evolutionary step from Advance Cartoon to Hanna Barbera in that Krantz Films was it's creator. Krantz was also responsible for the classic Spiderman cartoons which came one year after this. In all fairness; Rocket Robin Hood was a very interesting concept in that it is Robin Hood in the year 3000 and some of the villians were actually interesting as well. I even liked some of the storylines as they had a weird flow to them which worked pretty well considering that the premise was equally weird. However; like Mighty Hercules, the show suffered from at times even worse animation than Advance Cartoons. The opening sequence for example showing the faces marching together was laughable because when you see their faces, there is no animation at all. The background is actually doing the animating; not the character models. None of the characters maintained any continuity in artwork during the show which was painfully obvious with Fiar Tuck. He can look different from one episode to the next and I believe at times; he looked different from shot to shot. It was certainly a lot worse than the original Spiderman cartoon which ironically enough Krantz recycled some of the villians of Rocket Robin Hood for use in the better animated show Spiderman. Well; at least Krantz lasted long enough to do another show. Like Mighty Hercules; the episodes were about *** while the animation was about -* so I split the difference. It is a bit sad that animation really killed a good show which was the norm for Krantz cartoons...The next show isn't so lucky..

[48.] Tiny Toon Adventures (**)

In this series, a new generation of Looney Toon characters study at Acme Acres Looniversity under the instruction of the original characters. The leading characters are Buster and Babs Bunny (no relation) who, with their classmates, have a variety of adventures that are a mix of original stories, film and TV parodies and modern remakes of classic WB shorts.

My Thoughts: I used to like this show; I really did. It was actually one of the few decent attempts that Warner Brothers did with the Looney Toons brand. However; after sixteen years of reflection, I can safely say that this show was a flash in the pan. Instead of being really funny; it was most of the time enough for a slight chuckle; but nothing that would make you laugh out loud. The characters are not nearly as good as the original characters they are trying to mimic. Plucky Duck is the exception as he is actually slightly better and more witty than Daffy Duck was which is an amazing feat since the voice actor who did Plucky's voice went onto being the voice of Daffy Duck later on. Buster is pretty dull and Babs Bunny is really shallow and has little wit. You know why Tress got Babs? Because she's really a great voice actress and she can makes Babs look a lot better than Babs could ever be by herself. It's called being deceptive. The rest of the characters are no where near the originals and some are real headscratchers like Foulmouth who actually swears and not in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (and since foul lanuage isn't allowed; it's bleeped out) and then there is Elmyra Duff who is really annoying and hyper cute. She's not hyper sugary sweet cute; but she does come close. She's the most annoying female character; but not the most awful character out there. However; the real tragedy was that the original Looney Toons who come out as cameos from time to time have been completely stripped of their souls. Sam in particular just isn't Sam without shooting his pistols at people. Part of the blame is on Peggy Charmon; but most of it is on bad writing and scripting for those characters appearance. The really bad part was Bab's anti-smoking short which was so terrible that is deserved to be banned just on principal alone. The animation was pretty good for the most part and the artwork was as good as TaleSpin was so it wasn't the terrible shell that some say it did. However; it doesn't change that fact that the show is now a shell of it's former self.

[47.] Bratz: The Animated Series (**)

The Bratz animated series follows the exciting adventures of Yasmin, Cloe, Sasha and Jade as they scoop stories for their hip teen magazine.

My Thoughts: I never thought that in my sickest dreams that Bratz would ever be made into a cartoon and a movie; but here it is. When this show was announced last summer; there was a collective groan in the animation community. It looked like hell had frozen over and everyone hated it because Bratz is a suggestive doll line for young girls. It's not a pretty sight. However; I decided to see the show with an open mind and the good news is that it is not a goofy suggestive doll commerical show. However; the bad news is that it is a tween drama queen show which is actually worse. It's yet another show about being popular (something Winx Club avoided half the time in Season One and almost none in Season Two) which is already been seen before with Nick shows (like As Told By Ginger and Detention). Now the angle of being popular is not bad or evil in itself. However; it is bad when there is no counter balance to that popularity (unlike Winx Club and Magical DoReMi) where the viewing public can see that there is _MORE_ to life than merely being popular. Bratz fails in that respect. Sadly; nearly every episode is about being popular. The characters are the usual stereotypes that do not have much character development other than their gimmick. The heels seem more inclined to being one-trick gimmicks rather than decent characters. The CGI is however very good and the music is good as well. Which probably means that the whole intention of this show was for eyecandy. So what do I think of this show? It's better than Cubix; but not by much..This might be the first time that animation has actually hurt a series more than it helped. Sometimes story and plot do count in this animation world (John K. I'm looking at you.)

[46.] Captain Planet and the Planeteers (**)

Seeing the Earth in its profound environmental peril, Gaia, goddess of the Earth, summons five kids from around the world to become the Planeteers, an opposing force to fight back and educate others in the need to be environmentally responsible. To accomplish that task, each kid is given a magic ring that each has a power of earth, wind, water, fire and heart. When the threat they face is too big for them to face, they can combine and amplify their powers to create Captain Planet, who has the power to stop catastrophic environmental disasters himself, while the Planeteers contribute with the things anyone can and should do to help.

My Thoughts: It just wouldn't be a Top Fifty Worst Cartoon List without Captain Planet and his band of enivronmental enforcers being on it. This show was the brainchild of Ted Turner's commitment to enivronmental activism and a way to teach children about the importance of protecting the enviornment. From a concept standpoint; this was an excellent idea. The enivornment is a legit concern that will affect our children in the decades and centuries to come. However; Ted Turner's show didn't really work out as well as he would have hoped as this show caused a huge backlash among the Right-minded people (and there are a lot of them) because it protrayed America in a bad light when it comes to the environment and energy use. In all due respect; I could accept America as a big polluter and not using their resources for long term life. However; on the other hand, there are few countries that can do it any better than America. In fact there are a lot of countries that deserve to be protrayed in a negative light as well (China and Russia being two of those countries; even Canada deserves a few swipes of negatvity towards them in recent years). However; Ted Turner and the producers of Captain Planet didn't allow that due to political correctness and in small part due to the fact that Ted Turner was hypocritical since Ted Turner was a bison farmer which in the cartoon would be frowned upon by Captain Planet. Plus; enviromentalists are also hypocritical as well. David Suzaki is the foremost expert on environment crisis and yet I found out that he owns more cars and houses then I ever will which would be in direct violation of the environmental morality code. My heart was broken to say the least as I just lost my respect for the guy. Same goes for Al Gore and his new movie. However; Al Gore's movie was compelling. Captain Planet was not as it had pretty poor animation and stereotypical characters with little character development other than their gimmiack. Although the Linka and Wheeler love angle would have been something had it not been for the fact that Wheeler is an arrogent American. Arrogence is only bad if you are complacent or you cannot back it up after the fact. The storyline were silly; but for an animation series; I've seen a lot worse than this. The villians are cheesy; but some of them are pretty good and they held a story together. As for Captain Planet himself; he's an okay hero, but is still a gimmick because if the Planeteers weren't so igronant; they could have solve the problems on their own. In the end; Captain Planet is not the worst cartoon on earth after all. It's merely cheesy; not Ed The Sock cheesy once you apply the entertainment part of the equation for this series and not leave it out like some did.

[45.] South Park (**)

Based upon Trey Parker & Matt Stone's short "The Spirit of Christmas" comes South Park. A show set in South Park, Colorado and set on the adventures of four foul-mouthed fourth-graders being: Eric Cartman, the rude, obnoxious, sadistic, racist, fat kid; Stan Marsh, a quiet kid with a huge crush on Wendy Testaberger (in which he usually ends up vomiting whenever she talks to her or when something gross occurs); Kyle Brofloski, the religious Jewish kid who Cartman picks on for being Jewish; and Kenny, the orange parka-hooded kid who (pretty much) dies in almost every episode. Of course, most of the time, something weird usually happens including aliens planting a chip in Cartman's anus and Michael Jackson moves into the neighborhood. Other wild adventures include: the boys blaming their parents for child molestation and Cartman feeding Scott Tenorman his parents in chili. A movie was given in the early seasons in 1999. And the boys enjoy their Terrence & Philip, a Canadian comedy duo (which the parents were against in the movie). If you want to see more comedy, horror, and crappy animation, watch South Park!!

My Thoughts: If you like excessive foul lanuange and lots of sexual references and violence with blood then this cartoon is for you. While the show isn't terrible; it is in my opinion highly overrated. The animation is actually all right for the most part as I have seen much worse than this show. Some of the storylines are really different (it's a 18+/TV MA cartoon ; what did you expect?); but most of them didn't have much of a flow and most of the time; the content was there for the sake of being there. Some of the show was funny; but I didn't laugh at most of it. Killing Kenny and having Eric Cartman swear as a result was really funny at first; but it got old real fast. I did like Eric acting like a police officer (Respect my authority!) so it wasn't a complete loss. What really bothers me is that conservatives have taken this show to heart as some sort of gift from God to counter the liberial media message; even though the show shows little restraint that the conservatives are supposed to have. Maybe it has something to do it being hypocritical; but it doesn't help when the other side is acting the same way. While the show did create the concept of the 18+ rated cartoon; that is not really a good thing since no animated series has surpassed South Park since. Take away the context of being some kind of political satire and you're left with a below average show with below average quality.

[44.] He-Man: And The Masters of The Universe [1983 edition] (**)

In a distant and mystical land, wimpy Prince Adam leads the life of royalty. Unknown to all but a few close friends/allies, Prince Adam is actually a hero, the mighty He-Man. Together with his friends, (such as Teela; her father, a man-at-arms; mysterious Orko and his mighty friend/horse substitute Battle Cat), He-Man battles the evil Skeletor and his minions for control of the world, and, more importantly, for the control, power and "honor of Greyskull," the mysterious castle from which He-Man derives his powers.

My Thoughts: Remember what I said earlier about The Mighty Hercules and it's cheap animation? Well; Filmnation picked up on the style and created this cartoon which is based on Conan The Barbarian which was a cheesy production in it's own right. He-Man certainly had it's charm and the storylines were charming enough to be both watchable and entertaining. However; the show has really cheap animation which as times can be as bad as Rocket Robin Hood (although He-Man is an improvement of the style make no mistake) and due to BS&P; certain moments like fighting made it look lame and cheesy. When He-Man was around the show was pretty good to hold on it's own; but when Prince Adam was around, it was annoying. Skeletor was a surprisely good villian; having a lot of heat for his fighting skill and his voice. The elements were certainly there to make He-Man a success; but the execution was lacking. Plus; the show was remade for the new generation and the animation helped it become a better show than the original. A lot less partonizing also helped the remake as well. While He-Man is all right; the original is very overrated.

[43.] Beast Machines: Transformers (**)

The Maximals awaken on their home planet of Cybertron with no memory of how they got there and instead of being greeted by there own kind they are chased by mindless Veicons created by Megatron(II). The Maximals must free Cybertron from Megatron and restore it back to it's organic life.

My Thoughts: Mainframe Entertainment was on a roll with Beast Wars/Beasties (Actually CRTC has a law not to have a cartoon series have the word war in it..Who knew? Then again; this is the same CRTC that censored man attacking woman.) which were very good alternatives to the original anime Transformers. Considering that the CGI basically made the cheap animation look a lot worse than it really was; it was to be expected. However; Beast Machines would be the bane of the series as the show took a really bleak turn. While this worked in Reboot due to the fact that the show was too light hearted for it's own good; this show was way too bleak to enjoy. The first half was all right; but once it turns into a second rate version of anime plotlines (over the top preaching to the choir) the show went downhill. I didn't care who won the Beast Wars because I really couldn't stand the complex speaking which was a replacement for complex plotting and subtile moment building. This show tries way too hard and it suffered as a result. However; the CGI animation was a lot better than Beasties so it wasn't a total write off.

[42.] Josie & The PussyCats (**)

Josie & The Pussycats follows the adventures of a rock & roll band that comes across all sorts of adventures along the way. The group consists of Josie, their guitar-playing leader; Valerie, the brilliant tamborine-player; Melody, the naive and optimistic drummer; Alan, Josie's love-interest; Alexander, the group's cowardly manager; Alexandra, Alexander's pesky sister who constantly tries to upstage Josie and be Alan's main squeeze; and of course, Sebastian, Alexandra's fiesty cat.

My Thoughts: Hanna Barbara was on a roll with their popular series Scooby Doo that they decided to apply that formula to nearly every cartoon they would do ever since; their most notable being Josie & the Pussycats. While the premise of a band solving crimes was quite odd; what really killed this show was the characters. This was really the first show in the 1970's that had really annoying babyface characters and a second rate Scooby Doo character in Sebastian the Cat. That character seems to be more of a heel than anything else. Surprisely; this brand did far better as a comic than a cartoon series which was it's overall downfall. Josie is basically a second rate Scooby Doo cartoon with the usual cheap animation and had a few elements that were all right. I got to admit; the songs aren't half bad; but nothing speculator.

[41.] Trollz (**)

Trollz is an American animated television series produced by DiC Entertainment and features the adventures of five fictional teenage girls who use magic to help them with everyday life as well as battling whatever magical creatures and problems they may find themselves up against. Starting from September 16, 2006, the program airs on KOL Secret Slumber Party on CBS.

My Thoughts: Trollz is a cross between the popular Italian series The Winx Club and is a tie in to the orginal Trolls brand. What this show lacks that made Winx Club so great is that the storylines seems more inclined with the younger children instead of being more of an all ages shows like Winx Club is. This show also has the same problem that I criticized Winx Club for and that was that the boys are used as stepping stones. While Winx Club has proven to me that they can get over that problem; this show doesn't even try to improve. It seems that they are trying to appeal to girls only; and it's not doing a good job of that either as nearly every episode is a weaker version of the very worst episodes of Winx Club using the bane element of popularity as a crutch. Plus; this show has so far lost the real charm that made the Trolls so popular and it's not the jewel bellies since that element is there in this series. The original Trolls ran in their bare feet all the time. Everyone in this show wears shoes. Call me crazy; but getting rid of that element completely renders the characters as merely midget versions of Bratz which the only redeeming quality was the CGI. The animation here is all right for the most part; but unless Trollz gets some Winx Club inspiration; this show will only be seen as below average at best.

[40.] Totally Spies (**)

"Totally Spies!" is a fast-paced and fun show that depicts 3 girlfriends 'with an attitude' who have to cope with their daily lives at high school as well as the unpredictable pressures of international espionage. Whether the girls are laying low on a secret island off the coast of Japan, on hands and knees deep within the sewers of Paris or crouched in the baggage hold of a private jet over the Bermudas, they confront the most intimidating - and demented - of villains, each with their own special agenda for demonic, global rude behavior! The three friends each use their specific talents to help save the world while stressing about next week's algebra final or finding a decent prom dress on time.

My Thoughts: This is the first show in the Marathon series that was pusedo-anime (example: Heart eyes, sweat drops, over the top facial looks etc.) that was made in Europe and it is the most popular show in Marathon's lineup. It is also the worst show as the animation was even cheaper than most anime at times; the storylines are repetitive (Girls complain about life and then get dragged into an assignment by Whoop president, Girls get assignment (while showing funny and abusrd gadgets), Girls find clues, Girls take on insane villians (with absurd and somewhat funny motives), Girls defeat villian, Episode goes full circle.); the girl characters are basically the same (with different hair, skin color etc.) which use popularity as a crutch (although it's not nearly as bad as most shows using that bane.) and it has way too much of the anime elements that make me want to say to this show that it's trying way too hard to mimic a style when it should be creating it's own style. Kim Possible did that to perfection; and while Ron is a silly little boy; at least he was funny enough and he could also cut a rug and be a good character in his own right. Something that was completely missing in this show. Marathon would get much better with Martian Mysteries and other shows; but they really need to eliminate this repetitiness if they want to go far.

[39.] She-Ra: Princess of Power (* 3/4)

The kidnapped daughter of Queen Marlena and King Randor of Eternia (characters from He-man and the Masters of the Universe), Princess Adora grew up in Etheria. There, she lead an evil army until the day her long lost twin brother, Prince Adam (He-man), came to tell her who she really was. As her alter ego, She-ra, the princess protects Etheria by fighting the forces she once worked for.

My Thoughts: Take He-man: Masters of The Universe...Make main character a female...Use unicorn instead of tiger as the sidekick...Use fairies instead of red mage as the comic relief....Make the animation even cheaper than the male counterpart... Use the same storylines and make them cheaper than the original...Use a lame version of Skeletor as the main villian... There is She-Ra: Princess of Power in a nutshell which partially explains why She-Ra wasn't remade. Sadly; She-Ra actually started the angle of being a sad heel (being a female no less) and turned on them to work on the side of good; similar to a much better character that would use that and than blow it out of the water with awesomeness in 1990. I think you can call him Kit Cloudkicker right now. So it wasn't a total write-off. It would have been better if He-Man and She-Ra teamed up together as one and maybe we would have gotten better villians out of the deal. Who knows?

[38.] Shnookums & Meat Funny Cartoon Show (* 3/4)

This animated series is actually about three different cartoon scenarios. The first, "Schnookums and Meat!" involves a dumb pair of animals, Schnookums the cat and Meat the dog. The next, "Pith Possum: Super Dynamic Possum of Tomorrow" is a spoof of the 1966 Batman TV series, with Pith Possum and Obediah fighting crime in Possum City. Finally, "Tex Tinstar: The Best in the West" is a parody of Western serials, involving the title character, a cowboy, and his team. The end of each episode ends in a cliffhanger for next week, not unlike the serials or "Rocky and Bullwinkle".

My Thoughts: In all fairness; this wasn't an overly bad show as Pith Possum was decent and Tex Tinstar was pretty good. They were pretty good and at times this combo was better than what Rocky and Bullwinkle shows' secondary offerings. However; the main _Meat_ of the show is a cat and dog who take the worse traits of Ren & Stimpy and are nowhere near them as the show wasn't funny and wasn't even offensive. Even Rocky & Bullwinkle is funnier and is much more known than Schnookums & Meat. What decpetive adversiting if you use the word funny to describe this show since there is nothing funny about this show. I know that some people were say that the show is irrevelent and that's what it is supposed to be. However; this show cannot even do THAT right. You are better off watching the shows that inspired this one.

[37.] Cubix: Robots For Everyone (* 3/4)

A boy who just moved to Bubbletown repairs a transformable robot named Cubix and becomes its owner. Together, along with the boys friends, they fight against the schemes of a mad doctor.

My Thoughts: 4Kids Entertainment was riding the success of the Pokemon series that they decided to do a home grown version by developing a Pokemon type show featuring robots and 3D CGI. Sadly; instead of having the heart and soul that Pokemon delivered when it needed the most; it acted a lot more like Medabots which didn't have much other than a really funny Mr. Referee. The CGI is nothing to write home about; although it's no worse than Monster by Mistake which was a much better show than is. What we have here with Cubix is a second rate Medabots show which makes it a third rate Pokemon show by proxy. I do like some of the robot designs and the mad doctor is all right for the most part. What really upsets me about this show is that 4Kids decided to dump Pirate Island in favor of this show which was cancelled a couple of years ago due to low ratings. Doesn't 4Kids realize that Cubix: Robots For Everyone was cancelled because the show was plain garabage. Pirate Island; while it could have been better, actually had decent writing and was the only watchable live-action show outside of Galidor and 2030 CE among the new shows released last year. There are only two reasons why 4Kids wants to revive this show: [1.] To promte the video game sale of Cubix from 3D0 which is not going to work because as fighting titles; Cubix is about as fourth rate as you're going to get (plus 3D0 is pretty much dead as a company) or [2] 4Kids is running out of money to promote a new show so they decided to fish out what little money they had and reinstated this cartoon out of spite. What a poor marketing decision which everyone should have seen coming considering that they are the same people who on the one hand created a great Pokemon dub has also created a garbage program such as Cubix which is better than the Cramp Twins and decided that Fighting Foodoms was a classic earning a right to a North American release when Boston Globe Parenting expert Barbara Meltz was warning about the dangers of such programming to our young ones. This is proof that 4Kids cannot do anything without some company like Nintendo, Konami or Bandai to prop itself up...and then this show got some baggage as well...

Quote from Victor Field of USIMDB:

Of all the TV shows that have ever caused any kind of offence, you wouldn't expect the harmless computer-animated "Cubix" to be among them. But in England, where "Cubix" is part of BBC1's children's lineup, MENCAP recently complained that the character of Mong makes fun of people who are Mongoloid; given that the show gives its robot characters stereotyped personalities anyway (in the English-language version there's one in particular who has a pretty grating would-be-Cockney accent), it probably wasn't intentional.

Maybe not; but it doesn't help a terrible show...and this wasn't the last of 4Kids' attempt to create CGI shows to prop itself up now that anime was starting to fade away from 4Kids in recent years.

[36.] Alien Racers (* 3/4)

Alien Racers have been chosen as champions to fight over thr right to claim Xenoc; a planet with an energy source which has the power to create or destroy the entire universe. Master Kaidon of the Centarens (the good guys) built a Xenoc Chamber and knew that the planets would simply fight over the energy. So the master built a race on the planet Xenoc for all the energy...

My Thoughts: This is a CGI show in the vein of Cubix: Robots For Everyone. Alien Racers have been chosen as champions to fight over thr right to claim Xenoc; a planet with an energy source which has the power to create or destroy the entire universe. Master Kaidon of the Centarens (the good guys) built a Xenoc Chamber and knew that the planets would simply fight over the energy. So the master built a race on the planet Xenoc for all the energy... and apparently the moral of the story is Speed=Power. When I first saw this show; the first thing I thought was this is a cross between Beast Wars and NASCAR Heat; expect this was far worse. The show is basically a badly-executed racing show with a few interesting character designs. When I mean interesting in this case; I mean creepy. The sad part is none of the characters in this series really appealled to me and looked like they were just running through the motions here. Not to mention that the CGI-animation was subpar for the most part. Overall; this was another below average show and it shows considering that this show was a mid-season replacement for the Cramp Twins. Thankfully; it was a lot better than the Cramp Twins if that means anything at all....Memo to developers creating future CGI shows: Learn from Reboot, Spiderman 3D and Beast Wars; not Cubix. It can only help..Or overall; leave CGI to Main Frame Entertainment. They are experts in this genre...

[35.] Gary The Rat (* 1/2)

Gary Andrews is a ruthless lawyer who has devoted himself to winning the Rat Race of life. As it turns, he has been so successful at it that one night, he mysteriously changed into a humanoid rat for real. Now, Gary must struggle to live with this bizarre condition to live his life even while he resists the suggestion that changing his ways may be the only way to change back. Unknown to Gary however, one of his neighbouring tenants has hired an insane exterminator, Johnny Horatio Bugz, to kill him although Bugz has far more determination than competence.

My Thoughts: This is an animated series that stars the voice of Kelsey Grammar. Gary is an anthromorphic rat who plays the role of a vulgar-sounding lawyer who is supposed to be witty. The promos however signify trouble for this show from the very start (as in no animated scenes.) Gary is figurally speaking; a lawyer and calls the profession a moral sewer. This to me is a knack onto the stereotypes of lawyers and reinforces the awful stereotypes (if you believe that the Conserevates who love to use that stereotype to no end just to play mind games on the Liberals) that all lawyers are evil, greedy and wicked. I'll admit that there are overzealous lawyers out there who go way too far and sometimes tort reform is needed since judges are willing to believe them. However; as I stated before on the Comment Board; if we didn't have lawyers, then everyone would be killing each other for justice and nothing would be settled. When someone refuses to take responsability for _his/her_ own actions; a lawyer is the best and sometimes the only way to go. Gary The Rat doesn't help that image at all. All right; now let's look at this as a cartoon series besides the fact that I've seen enough lawyer and courtroom drama's in live action as it is. The question that we must ask themselves again: Does this show have any groundbreaking elements to justify the _mature_ elements in this show? Personally; I want Gary The Rat to suceed because Kelsey's acting is very good and I like animal/anthromorphic characters. Sure there are people out there saying that the use of animals is limiting the animation. That was 13 years ago and yet; human animations are a dime a dozen nowadays. Is it any better now? No; I didn't think so. The answer to the question is a very sad no in this case. Unlike Striperella, the show does have some depth to it and unlike Ren & Stimpy: Adult Party Cartoon it is very watchable. However; this show is dull as dishwasher and there is nothing that I haven't seen before in live-action outside of the grossout factor present in all three shows. I couldn't stand Gary because outside of the very good acting; his character is not very interesting. To make matters worse; the animation (particually the backgrounds) was the worst of the three. It is quite subpar to say the least. The bottom line is the show tries to impress me (which the other two lack); but it simply doesn't work. All I see here is just another live-action drama show that only attempts to self-parodize itself.

[34.] Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series (* 1/2)

The Mighty Ducks, an intergalactic ice-hockey team from another dimension, are trapped on Earth during a fight against their arch- rival. With no way to get home, they build their headquarters under a defunct hockey rink, and the crowds soon return. In their spare time, they battle criminals wherever they find them, despite the Chief Of Police's distrust, and track down their nemesis.

My Thoughts: Here is a simple case of a company cashing in on a brand that they own. In this case it was Disney putting their money where their mouth is to create a NHL team known as the Mighty Ducks of Antheim. As a result Disney poured a lot of money into tie-ins which include several live-action movies and even this Disney cartoon. Not to mention that for this animated series Disney decided to use a genre that was popular in the late 80's- early 90's timeframe: The anthro fighting genre which was created by the Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles. Sadly; while the live-action movie preformed well; this cartoon did not quality wise. It was clearly a dead ringer to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles without the cheesy charm that Ninja Turtles brought to the ring. The animation was all right and the stories were okay; but it lacked the heart needed to make me care about the fact that this was too much of a relation between it and Ninja Turtles. The hockey angle was nothing more than a gimmick to lure children and adults to believe that this was a good cartoon to watch when it had no less violence than Ninja Turtles and that hockey itself is under fire for it's violent tendences. Let's face it; Americans don't like it because they don't care about hockey anyway and Canadains don't like it any more because hockey is now seen as a violent; childish sport as many are seeing speed skating as a better and non-violent alternative.

[33.] Recess (* 1/2)

This film takes place at an adventurous elementary school. Among the elementary school faculty is the sleazy principal (Prickly), the tough playground guard (Finster), and the nice 4th grade teacher (Grotkey). The six main cast members are T.J.,the leader and schemer of the group; Spinelli, the girl who is a bully with a heart of gold; Vince, the playground jock; Gretchen, the science whiz and smartest girl in school; Mikey, the poetic drama king; and Gus, the wimp with a military family. Then there are plenty of other typical elementary school kids, like the spy Randall, the 4 Ashley snobs, the diggers, the kindergardeners, etc., and including the older kids like King Bob. Everyday the group hangs out at recess dealing with different problems they must work together to overcome.

My Thoughts: This show was actually the most popular show about school and even got a movie deal out of it. The premise looks like something out of Hogan's Heroes and somehow feels even more bleak than the show about Staglag 13. The animation was sub-par; but not too bad and the storylines were all right actually. However; the biggest problem with the show was that it had no heart and the characters were among the worst in Disney history. The kids are one dimensional paper cut-outs who when tried to change according to the stroyline; but it looks so contrived and forced that there is no sympathy for the characters at large and it appears that they are merely going through the motions. And then there are the teachers and I'm going to let my previous review do the talking on this one: (From my editorial: It's All About School (Cartoons))

Recess is the worst offender of the so-called school cartoons because the show had no heart at all which is very ironic since heart _is_ the most important ingredient needed for a good show about school. In a fantasy show like TaleSpin (which has the most heart in any Disney production IMHO) or the WB cartoon 'Road Runner' you get away with no heart but never in a show about school. The 'hero' kids were basically unreal and even borderlined on stereotypical which is bad enough; but the adults, the _educators_; our _role models_ are much worse. The main teacher in 'Recess' Miss Finster was called in Jim Kelloggs own unfiltered words: cruel, arrogant, corrupt, paranoid. He even went as far to calling her a kid-hating sadist. I've to say this: I have had tough experiences with tough teachers (who are nameless to protect the innocent) in my real life; but never have I seen any of them wishing for me to fail let alone see me completely embrassed in the process of failure. Principal Prickly is even more malevolent; ruthless and cold-hearted; caring a lot more about his promotion than his students that are supposed to be enlightened by these _role models_. In the end the show is even bleaker than "Hogan Heroes"; ironically the show that it was compared to. Recess is the ultimate example of what not to do with the concept of school: degrading it to the lowest form of pandering. What makes this even worse is the fact that the target market for this piece of trash is school-age children; something that _is_ a part of _their_ lives. It gives the false preception to kids that all teachers are villians and that they stink being them. That in itself is basically the non-religious equalivent of taking God's good name in vain. Digusting Indeed!

I would like to thank Jim Kellogg for exposing this in his article "Disney Shows Have Lost Their Heart" under the section of "Education Unfriendly" on Usenet because it is completely true as I have watched the show long enough to realize that. It's just so bleak that it sucks the goodness right out of the show. While the movie redeems some of the characters a little bit; the damage had been done. This show was the main reason why shows about school are considered the bane of animation and are cussed by fans; even though Teacher's Pet was excellent. Jim Baylo might be wrong about the premise of school shows; but how could you tell that after seeing the products that were spun. The FCC-Friendly spin really doesn't deserve the bad rap that it gets because really the writers are pretty poor when they don't have wanton violence to prop their stories up. Maybe burrying Jymn Magon wasn't a good idea either.

[32.] Knights of The Zodiac/Saint Seiya (* 1/2)

The story, in a nutshell, is about five young boys who's task it is to defend the modern-day reincarnation of Athena against several threats. This translates into loads of very theatrical duels between these five Bronze Saints and their rivals, who happen to all be pretty boys with groovy armors and hairstyles.

My Thoughts: Ah the first anime show on our worst list; which shows that even anime cannot escape the _90% of Everything is Crap_ concept. I wanted to love watching this show; but the pacing was so bad (partially caused by the show being brutally edited and partially because the pacing was sub-par to begin with) that it was hard to tell what was going on half the time. For a show that was brutally edited; this show still allows people to bleed lavander blood. The characters were decent enough and the villians were all right as well; but there was nothing to write home about as this second class anime was terrible in animation and in the script (partially by editing; partially because it was sub-par to begin with.). It certainly lack the charm and materials that Samurai Pizza Cats had which was brutally edited (albeit for different reasons) but was better done with Saban since the original was a pretty poor show to begin with. Also; the thing that really sealed it's fate was using a theme song which features I Ran; a 80's ripoff of a song used in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Not a smart decision to say the least. If you want a fighting show; try Dragon Ball Z or any show than this one. Except for one more anime show...

[31.] Baby Looney Toons (* 1/2)

Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tweety, Silvester, Lola and Taz are living with Granny as babies in a house. They have some adventures together before many of them would turn againest each other later in life. Proving once again that no one is born evil....

My Thoughts: If you have seen Muppet Babbies then this show should be very familiar with this show. In all honestly; we could debate why the show used Taz instead of Porky Pig; but Porky is a comic character that Daffy Duck does a better job and everyone loves Taz because he was a tweener in the since that he was a cool heel who loved to destroy stuff and a face because he simply doesn't know better. Sam isn't there for obvious reasons and quite frankly that was a good decision on the creator's part for Sam is nothing but a violent man (albeit very funny). The show is very polticially correct (Lola anyone?); but honestly no one is going to top the original Termite Terrance so the creators didn't try to in this case. However; this show wasn't very entertaining either. The storylines are way too bland and considering that the Looney Toons are based on fantasy cartoon drawings I would have thought that they would use even more zanzy fantasy settings like Muppet Babbies did (which was the reason why Muppet Babbies rules the earth so much in the eyes of it's fans and rightfully so.). Instead; the show is completely rooted in reality which makes it so bland. The animation is horrible along with the key artwork as well which drags things down. As for the reason why Daffy and Bugs hate each other; maybe it was because of something that happened later in life which this cartoon thankfully didn't address. It's not really a disgrace to Looney Tunes because the Looney TUnes were completely destroyed heat-wise by this time; but there is still no excuse for creating a boring and bland show. You could miss this show completely and you wouldn't be missing much. As for the summary; I wrote the summary because I couldn't find a summary from someone else. Everyone was too busy bashing this cartoon which doesn't really deserve it.

[30.] Dave The Barbarian (* 1/4)

Follow the adventures of Dave, one incredibly unusual barbarian, who's more interested in raising his family and cooking yummy gourmet meals than conquering new lands.

My Thoughts: This is basically Disney's first attempt at trying to be classic Nick as this cartoon was intentionally trying to be lame as part of its premise. In all due respect; Dave The Barbarian is the best cartoon when it comes to being really lame. However; this is not in a good way as the characters for the most part were not merely lame; they were terrible. Our so called hero DAVE THE CLEANING BARBARIAN OF LAUGHS is not even a lame character but a terrible gimmick because he is a pussy-whipped wuss who cleans and cooks. There's nothing in his character besides the obvious gimmick and therefore has absolutely no love for the character at large. Most of the babyface characters weren't much as Candy is another teenager in the vein of trying to be popular, Oswitch is an annoying old man without any heat, and Fang was decent enough but is a hyper violent ankle biter saved once again by Tress' voice acting skills. If you're not a monkey Fang; then stop doing monkey spots. Trinkle the Marvel House was the only face character that made me laugh; but he wasn't in the show long enough for me to care. The rest of the faces are nothing. Lord Chuckles the Silly Piggy was the only truly lame character (he admits that much for sure) that lives up to the premise as he was funny and reminds me of Don Karnage if he was lame. Sadly he doesn't appear in enough shorts to prop up some bad writing and the terrible attempt of trying to look like a Nick cartoon. Plus; the remaining villians are almost as terrible as Dave is. I feel like Fang killing that daisy in the opening sequence whenever I see this cartoon. Thankfully; this show has been cancelled, but it would leave a stink as Disney would use this style for future Disney Animation. Plus; let's not forget that one of the animation compaines who worked on the show was SOB Animation. No wonder people think of Disney as childish instead of family. This whole thing makes Nintendo look mature beyond their years.

[29.] Lloyd In Space (*)

This cartoon centers on a green alien who's just becoming a teenager, but is a little too eager to grow up. Lloyd himself isn't much of a likeable character, and the whole world seems to be against him much of the time.

My Thoughts: Replace Doug Funnie with Lloyd and put them in a space setting; add some aliens and you couldn't tell the difference between Doug and Lloyd In Space. Well that's not really true since Lloyd has developed the same problem that Pepper Ann has in her show. Lloyd like Ann takes sides on an issue instead of Doug who is smart enough to step back and make a decision based on facts; which gives him a bit of heart and creditability as a human being. By taking sides; it makes a really stupid character as a whole which wasn't intended by the creators. The storylines are similar to most shows in the FCC- Friendly era as it deals with popularity in a more fantasy sense. The fantasy element in this case makes the writing seem worse by comparsion...and I really have little love for Lloyd's baby sister who is nothing more than a whiny baby. Although I have less love for Lloyd who is a bigger jerk and his friends are basic kid stereotypes in the vein of Recess. Although the adult figures are all right and I like Lloyd's mom and the computer conscience of Lloyd. Too bad the writing wasn't much to make me really care for them character wise. The animation looks like a cheap version of Doug as well. The opening sequence is pretty bad as well as there is no song and it wasn't amusing to me.

[28.] The Weekenders (*)

The story is about the lives of 4 friends on the weekends in Bahia Bay, California. Tino Tonitini is a sarcastic boy who narrates the show and usually speaks first and last on the episodes. His parents divorced when he was young, and his mother is a down-to-earth health-nut who knows what goes on in Tino's head. Tish Katsufrakis is a artsy, brainy girl who comes from a country that no one has heard of and is only referred to as the "old country." Her mother has broken English and most people don't understand what she says, so when they finally get it and repeat what they think they heard, she always responds with, "Is what I say." Tish also enjoys Sheakspheare and is notably the most scholarly of the four. Lor McQuarrie is a Scottish tomboy who usually beats boys at sports and is the only girl in a family of 14 brothers. Carver Descartes is a somewhat superficial shoe lover who knows more about the fashion world and has an annoying teenage sister and a little brother who can be troublesome. Carver is obsessed with being cool and is very aware of his appearance. Each weekend the group searches for the perfect weekend. They hang out around town, get pizza, and usually encounter some sort of problem. Tino's mother always offers sound advice which the kids usually don't take and they end up figuring things out on their own. She often gives this advice at dinner while trying to get Tino to eat something unusual such as tofu brownies or ostrich meat. The kids usually hang out at places like the mall where they usually get chili cheese fries and chug-a-freezes, the arcade, or a pizza place with different and sometimes silly themes. Each episode always ends at a final thought and "Later days," a slang term used to say goodbye...

My Thoughts: The Weekenders could have been an exciting series and keep within FCC rules as it was yet another animated series in the FCC Friendly era. The premise was an interesting one and Tino and his gang of friends lived up to the premise fairly well. However; the show was as dull as dishwater for the most part. While this show is another one of those "being popular" shows; it wasn't as acute as most shows that have this bane and it wasn't the main focus. The artwork was sub-par; but the animation was okay. The best part of the show was the pizza gag in which this guy keeps coming up with different themes for his pizza joint and gets zero customers other than the four main characters. Some of them are cute; but most are really dumb. The best one was the Pizza Pilot one in a decent tribute to TaleSpin. One wonders if he watches the show in this world. The sad part is that it is really bad because it is really boring. While there are really bad shows out there; at least they are so bad that they amuse me and that's why people kept watching them in spite of the bad quality. The Weekenders is an example where they don't have that excuse and therefore are much worse because the viewer is frustrated and waiting for something to happen even though it is not going to happen anyway.

[27.] Super Duper Sumos (*)

The adventures of a trio of crimefighting sumo wrestlers.

My Thoughts: There's nothing more compelling in the cartoon world than politically correct sumo wrestlers; except that Super Duper Sumos has very little to back up it's premise. The animation is sloppy and most of the storylines are nothing to be happy about. However; the show is really nothing more than an excuse for the sumos to use their butts as a form of violence. You can hear it from the terrible theme song as the announcers yells that Super Duper Sumos got guts and butts. You can clearly see their near naked bodies (hey they're sumo wrestlers; what did you expect?) doing magical powers with their butts. This is so shallow that the even the fight between Baloo and those sumo wrestlers in the comic "The Girl From Spango Pango" was more interesting. A good premise dragged down completely by lousy execution, which is like a broken record to most productions.

[26.] Donkey Kong Country (*)

Donkey Kong and his sidekick, Diddy Kong, star in a new computer-generated rendition of the classic video game. Donkey Kong isn't too smart, but he is the strongest monkey on the island of Congo Bongo, thanks largely to his diet of bananas. He's charged with protecting the Orb Of Power, the Crystal Coconut, from King Caroo's constant attempts to steal it in his quest to rule the island - though he often seems more interested in luscious Candy Kong, who works in the barrel factory.

My Thoughts: I never liked Donkey Kong Country as a video game. While the graphics were awesome; it was still basically an average platform game. Final Fantasy III was a much better game all around due to its balance of level building and storyline; but still couldn't win game of the year honors. Anyhow; Donkey Kong Country sold nearly ten million units and apparently; Nintendo joined forces with Nelevana to create a television tie-in to the game; filled with CGI, slapstick comedy, and lots of singing. Unlike Pokemon, Super Mario Brothers Super Show, Super Mario Brothers 3, Super Mario World and Captain N: The Game Master; this show was terrible. While the previous shows I mentioned weren't all that great; they had a charm of being lame in a good way; and many of the characters were memorable. Donkey Kong Country had annoying characters (I could've taken DK talking; but give him a better voice actor because it was terrible.); below average scripts, character slaughtered villians and good guys, sub-par CGI (not as bad as Jimmy Neutron; but still); lots of slapstick that isn't really all that funny and lots of singing that would have been fine if it was either used in the correct context and/or was entertaining; but it came off as terrible. Actually; Bluster the new character was more over than any of the original characters which tells you that Nelevana had no clue how to deal with Nintendo's characters at all. This is one of the few Nelevana shows I didn't like.

[25.] Extreme Ghostbusters (*)

Proving that there's still life in the old story, Ghostbusters gets another reincarnation, with state-of-the-art animation that's both riotous and genuinely spooky. After a lull, ghost activity is on the up again. Guided by original ghost buster Egon Spengler, the mantle this time is taken up by a group of teenagers: steady Roland; cocky, wheelchair-bound Garrett; would-be hippy Eduardo; gloomy, black-clad Kylie; and ex-baddie ghost Slimer, now helping his friends rid the world of the nastier and meaner ghosts.

My Thoughts: This show is an example of a trend that thankfully died before it could cause some real damage. Take a good show, add some politically correct characters, character slaughter the original characters, make the show more violent, and add the word extreme beside it. It happened to G.I. Joe Extreme and that show wasn't good at all. However; Extreme Ghostbusters somehow was worse. While the concept was an interesting one; it suffered from poor execution and some bad writing. Now I could accept creating politically correct characters (heck; I loved Rebecca Cunningham being a business person in the 1930's); however, they weren't developed very well. Egon and Slimer wasn't the same which was all right given the time period; but their personalities were slaughtered even more which wasn't all right at all. The animation also didn't have the same charm that it did in the past and the ghosts didn't have the charm nor the heat to be memoriable. I find it quite amusing that a lot of people actually call this show godly when the original was just above average and this wasn't even close to it in the wrong sense. Maybe the violence level was what drew people in; I don't really know.

[24.] CatDog (*)

The life and times of a cat and a dog with a unique twist: they're connected, literally. They share one body with Dog's head at one end and Cat's head on the other. Adding to their dilemma is Cat's annoyance with Dog, mainly caused by Dog's stupidity and Cat's up-tight personality.

My Thoughts: Speaking of experiments that have gone wrong; we have this show. This is one of the few shows were the premise was as bad as the quality. Sure; the concept of fusing a Cat and a Dog together is amusing for a couple of shorts; but this show lasted at least four seasons and it goes old fast. Plus add on the fact that Nickelodeon couldn't create good storylines to save a show's life and subpar animation and you got a diaster on your hands. Cat wasn't really all that annoying as I have seen worse; but Dog wasn't that stupid either. It's just bland and boring storyline after another with no zanyiness or no heat after the original concept. You could have a separate Cat and a separate Dog and end up with the same thing. See Catscratch for the presentant. Things would get worse for Nick before they got better; post Invader Zim era, but they would get better.

[23.] Quack Pack (3/4 *)

This cartoon follows on from the 1980's cartoon "Ducktales", continuing the adventures of Huey, Dewey and Louie. Now teenagers and living with their uncle Donald Duck, the three spend their time playing practical jokes on their hapless uncle and otherwise getting into trouble.

My Thoughts: This is the show that broke my trust with Disney and caused me to realize that Disney is just like everyone else. I should point out that Daisy Duck and Donald Duck did everything in their power to make this show not stink up the joint. Daisy Duck was a very good character in all fairness even if the character design change was an attempt to be politically correct. There was no excuse to refuse to do that because of what Rebecca, Gadget, Molly, Goslyn and Eliza did as characters in their respective shows. Plus she had a decent voice thanks to Kaith Souice. Donald Duck was still pretty funny once the writers made decent scripts. However; the show was marred by terrible villians, ethnic stereotypical human characters, a nothing iguana (Knuckles), a dull human character named Ken Powers and probably the worst three child characters in the history of Disney: Huey, Dewey and Louie. These three characters dressed up fine; but their characters and personality reeked badly. While in Ducktales; the children were crafty and inventive despite dressing like they were in the classic Donald Duck cartoons; the Quack Pack nephews were without any soul and heart. They were merely shells of their former seleves and in desparation to regain heat they would do stuff that was the bane of all child characters: Trying to impress girls, trying to be popular, keeping up with the latest trends (There's a reason why Kit Cloudkicker is a rebel: He speaks his mind, he cares about others, he hates being betrayed and he shows restraint most of the time. That why people love his character.) and basically speaking in pop culture talk that doesn't work even at the time. Since these nephews were basically the main characters and the writers decided to make Donald Duck the sidekick by proxy; that meant that every episode was in trouble from the get go; made even worse by repetition (Nephews have a plan to solve their problems; Donald Duck has problems; Nephews get into trouble; Donald Duck has problems; Nephews solve problems; Donald still has problems. Repeat for basically 32 of 35 episodes.) of scenes and Deux Ex Machina moments that weren't amusing at all (DEM works if it is either funny or amusing). This show was an asinie sitcom and it was even worse than that. While Quack Pack did make it to DVD; only three episodes were ever released. Why? Because those were the only three episodes that didn't stink even though the best episode was Transmission Impossible which was written by Jymn Magon and got a *** at best. In a sense; Quack Pack could have been better had Jymn Magon not been replaced by Toby Shelton. Toby Shelton wasn't good at leadership (like Jymn Magon was despite only doing one Supervising Producer job at Disney with TaleSpin. I still maintain that Magon was screwed by Disney for creating a wonder like TaleSpin) and it showed in this show. While Quack Pack was a remake of Ducktales; it wasn't in even the same sport as it. Terrible writing, subpar animation, ugly pacing, ugly flow, no heat, no heart, no soul, and enough baggage for Disney to cancel it halfway through the season. The fact that only three decent episodes were released on DVD is a testament to why Jymn Magon rules and what Disney thinks of this series in general. Sadly; there would be worse shows to come.

[22.] The Gobots (3/4*)

An animated series based on a line of toys called 'Go-Bots'. A race of intelligent robots is hiding on Earth, disguising themselves as ordinary cars and motorcycles. There are two factions: the good Go-Bots and the evil Renegades. Each episode features new attempts by the Renegades to seize power from the Go-Bots, and the Go-Bots' efforts to maintain dominance over the Renegades.

My Thoughts: For Hanna Barbera; this was rock bottom quality wise. The Transformers were so popular as a cartoon and toyline at the time (for Hasbro anyway) that Tonka countered with a toyline of transforming robots called the Gobots. The major error in Tonka's thinking was that Japanese anime was so cheap that an American animator could do a much better job while hiding the fact that the Transformers had a much more interesting storyline even at it's worst and much more interesting characters. It didn't work out as everyone had expected as the Hanna Barbera animation was even more subpar than the Transformer could ever be. There was no catchy themesong to drag people in, no character charm that could make us relate to the characters, the storylines are bad cheese in every way, and the villians were sort of okay but didn't have enough heat to save this kids only show which was no threat to the all ages show that Transformers showed. This show will always be seen as a bad dead ringer to the Transformers and nothing more.

[21.] The Ripping Friends (3/4*)

The misadventures of a quartet of muscleheaded superheroes..

My Thoughts: This was Spumco's first original cartoon since the original Ren & Stimpy series and after watching this show; I can safely saw that John K. is highly overrated as a funny cartoon writer. As an animator; John is still pretty good as the artwork and animation are well done. However; every joke that John K. used seemed funny at first, but then got really awful when John and company tried too hard to make the joke work. John K. seems to be too concerated on crying foul at censorship and BS&P that he forgets that funny cartoon require people to lighten up which also applies to the animators as well. At least the show is watchable and while many elements fell flat; it wasn't nearly offensive as John K.'s sequel to Ren & Stimpy. Instead of being funny; The Ripping Friends was dull; and that's the last thing this cartoon needed to be.

[20.] Rocket Power (1/2*)

This show takes place in California. The four main characters do skateboarding, rollerblading, surfboarding, and bike riding (extreme sports), and they use extreme sports lingo.

My Thoughts: Here is yet another cartoon by Nick and is also created by the creators of Rugrats. Rocket Power reminds me quite a bit like All Grown Up which features the Rugrats. The problem is that while All Grown Up was sub-par; Rocket Power was pretty terrible. Rugrats had charming characters with good character development. The characters for Rocket Power have nothing like this as they are stereotypes who attempt to sound like they are cool; but sound silly and/or dumb since few people know what they talk about. This show seems to be more of a commerical for extreme sports; but fails because the characters are hardly role models of kids to begin with. They focus a lot on trying to be popular and failing miserably at even that. They have no creditability and are more dangerous than Kit is because they often don't show the restraint that Kit has as a character. The animation is standard Klasky-Csupo issue which is ugly artwork; but decent animation which is really the only redeeming quality to this show as the plot wasn't existant and the characters were simply annoying.

[19.] Fairly Oddparents (1/2*)

Timmy Turner is an average 10-year old boy who wishes for a perfect life. Unfortunately, he has parents who work full time, like most kids, and while they are out he has an evil babysitter, Icky-with-a-V, who revels in tormenting him. By his side are his constant companions, his Fairy God Parents Cosmo (the idiot) and Wanda (the perfect straight-woman). Hilarity ensues as Timmy wishes himself into--and out of--all sorts of magical situations!

My Thoughts: This is really the first animated series that really exposed Nick as a producer of bad animation. The premise of Fairly OddParents was a great one as a young boy gaining two fairy godparents because his own parents don't really care about him. However; like most Nick shows in the era of Butch Hartman the premise gave the creators a lazy excuse not to properly execute the show. Fairly Oddparents is terrible garbage and it shows in its characters. Cosmo and Crimson Chin were the only good and funny characters (albeit Cosmo is stupid; but whatever) in the show; while Wanda wasn't much more than a stereotypcial version of Marge. Timmy's Dad is what I call abusive-stupid. While Homer was merely stupid; there were flashes of brilliance in his character where he redeems himself. Timmy's Dad is so stupid that Timmy should be in a foster home rather than in his home....and the parent's aren't funny as a whole. Mr. Crocker is insane; but he was surprisely decent. I thought he was terrible at first; but he redeemed himself later on with his insane bumping. However; the worst character was Timmy Turner himself. He is a selfish little brat and each episode repeats the same formula: Timmy has a problem and uses magic. The magic screws everything up; Timmy uses magic to solve problems; repeat for each short. Basically; Timmy cannot solve problems on his own; or without magic. Part of the blame goes to Timmy's Dad and part goes to the lazy writing. The animation was all right; but the artwork reeks of a school-age doodle at times. The other part that bothered me was the attempt for the show to act lame like Dave The Barbarian did. However; the characters were so unfunny on their own that the attempt to make a lame joke sound funny was insulting and seems like they were trying to rip off the Simpsons and failing miserably at that. Sadly; children love this show and it pains me to blast them for liking it because they really don't know any better. All I can say is that the finale where Timmy's parent find out the serect of Timmy's godparents was a great finale; which was ruined by the fact that they used magic at the end to return everything to normal to basically continue the series and not end it proper so that the show couldn't be any more worse. Also the Crimson Chin episodes were pretty good mostly in part to Jay Leno's acting. That's why he has the Tonight Show. This show is the most overated children's cartoon I have ever seen in my life which could have been good if the creators would give us characters to really care about.

[18.] Being Ian (1/2*)

Ian Kelly is a 12-year-old kid with a kind of imagination that goes "cut" in the night. He thinks that his life is a stage and that he is the director! With his Spielberg-like imagination, he often tends to get himself into many strange situations! But somehow he manages to walk away from each "set" with a sense of acomplishment, or a detention!

My Thoughts: Anytime I watch this show and hear him saying "Why Can't The World See Things My Way?!" I want to say "There's This Something Called Reality That Prevents Me From Doing That!" Anyhow; the concept was a very good one; but even Canadian shows aren't immune to poor execution. Most of the characters are similar to Fairly Oddparents; except not as annoying or as heartless as the previous show. Being Ian's major problem is bad animation and two brothers who torture Ian to no end. The show would have been something if the gimmick of movie making wasn't in such abundence and are a bit more light hearted. Sometimes the show can be bleak when it shouldn't be.

[17.] Sonic The Hedgehog: The BKN Edition (1/2*)

Sonic and Tails are willing to save the planet Mobius from Dr. Robotnik and his robots which they plan to take over in these slapstick based adventures.

My Thoughts: Sonic is no stranger to animation in America as he appeared in very good shows such as Sonic The Hedgehog: ABC edition, Sonic Underground and Sonic X. BKN version on the other hand was terrible in almost every way. The main characters were character slaughtered and turned into jokes as a result. Sonic does wise crack; but he shows restraint in that area despite being a speed demon. The character slaughtering did more damage to an already limited gimmick. The storylines are one dimensional at best with Sonic trying to outrun the baddies; and the animation is horrible. However; Scratch and Growler were pretty funny characters; but the script were so badly written that their pontential was never unlocked. This is basically an American's point of view that was taken from Sonic 1 rather than recent series where the character are more fleshed out. This proves that indeed; everything DIC touches turns to poison.

[16.] The Flintstone Kids (1/2*)

The antics of Fred, Barney, Wilma and Betty as children who live in Bedrock.

My Thoughts: A very popular trend in animation even today is to take characters from the original series and turn them into kids. Muppet Babies and Jungle Cubs proved that this concept can work. However; the Flintstone Kids was a real example of how this doesn't work; as the show suffered from poor animation from Hanna Barbera, setting the show in an era after the characters were old (which doesn't make sense either way), annoying characters, etc. However; the biggest problem with this show is that the humor and charm of the Flintstones is completely gone; replaced with dramatic issues of growing up and childhood which meant little to the series.

[15.] Strawberry Shortcake 2000 (1/2*)

Strawberryland is a berry special place. It is an enchanting patchwork of luscious strawberries set against vibrant green vines, where they say it rains and snows berries. Bright red berries of all shapes and sizes are everywhere. Strawberry Shortcake and her friends return to television with a new style and new fashions as they solve problems and have adventures.

My Thoughts: Okay; this show shouldn't count on the list; but since Strawberry Shortcake has 13 OAV's to her credit in 2000; it might as well be a television show. It reminds me so much of Land Before Time; except this those films had some charm to them intact despite being overexposed in the process. This is actually a remake of the original Strawberry Shortcake television movies and this remake is one of the worst I have ever seen. The animation and artwork are better and cleaner than the original; but everything else is terrible. There is no real villian nor even a heel; and even if there was it would never beat the charm and funny dancing of the Dreaded Purple Pie Man and Sour Grapes; his annoying (but in a good way) sidekick. While I could take the politically correct and sometimes pop-culturish clothing that the babyfaces wear; I couldn't take them being character slaughtered. The original Strawberry Shortcake had a wide range of emotion while the remake was very limited. Not Barney limited; but still limited nevertheless. While the addition of Huckleberry Pie was a good thing; he wasn't very good as a babyface. I know this is a bad thing for me to say; but I rather have Huckleberry Pie as a heel, it would have been for better storylines this way. Then again; Strawberry Shortcake was designed as a long commerical for the product line so I would have expected the political correctness to be shot up high in order to keep the FTC away. Still; it doesn't have the entertainment value of the original despite the original being an even more obvious commerical.

[14.] Yvon of The Yukon (1/4*)

Yvon is a former captain of the French guard who sails the sea on a boat and gets stuck in the frozen Canadian north; encased in a block of ice for hundreds of years. Until a boy and his dog find him and unthaw Yvon with bodily fuilds. Yvon's mission is to discover the life of this modern world while remaining loyal to a kingdom that doesn't exist anymore.

My Thoughts: The best thing about this show is that the animation was decent and watchable. The bad news is that there is nothing else is decent. This show has so many mild sexual references (both verbal and visual) that it was the only comedy that this show has. The storylines are goofy enough; but adding these references only makes the show worse. There is no way that smelling poo is funny even to little children. The references also have zero meaning to the story and character development which is acutely lacking. Studio B should consider getting some real writers because the writers they have are more interested in amusing themselves rather than writing a decent show.

[13.] The Amazing Arnliene Brothers (1/4*)

This award-winning cartoon series follows Xan, Adi and Enk Adrenalini on their World Tour - three daredevil brother s with one unique brand of extreme entertainment. Their catchphrase? Yahzaa! Their trademark? Extreme danger... extreme daring... and extreme silliness. Their mission? To perform the greatest stunts the world has ever seen - which never turn out quite as expected. The Amazing Adrenalini are truly international, all-action, anti-heroes. Hailing from Rendoosia, a little-known land where danger is a way of life, the Adrenalinis not only act funny, they speak funny too! They know no fear, they know no limits.. and they know no English, guaranteeing a trail of comic confusion wherever they go. Yahzaa! Adrenalini!

My Thoughts: This show is an example of why awards don't mean a thing. This cartoon looks like something out of the National Film Board of Canada and not in a good way. This is basically a stunt fest with no sympathy for them because every stunt they do is ugly at best and dangerous at worst. The artwork looks like something out of a children's doodle and the animation is not much better. The characters are stereotypes and have no character development outside of their gimmicks. While speaking no english is supposed to be comic relief; there was no relief in sight for this show.

[12.] Family Guy (1/4*)

The Griffin household includes two parents Peter (Seth McFarlane) and Lois (Alex Borstein), two teenagers Chris (Seth Green) and Megan (Mila Kunis), a dog who is smarter than everyone else in the house Brian (Seth McFarlane), and a mutant baby Stewie (Seth McFarlane) who makes numerous attempts to eradicate his parents and siblings.

My Thoughts: "Don't Die Laughing. We Could Get Sued.." is the tagline for this show and I wish someone would actually ignore the tagline and sue this show for offending them because it would certainly be in their right. Anyway; this show was created by Seth MacFarlane and has been one of the most praised TV-14 cartoons of all time. Many people say that Seth MacFarlane is a geinus. As Ric Flair said about how Razor Ramon was called by fans as "great": They lowered the bar about ten feet. Now I will admit that this show is not a rip-off of The Simpsons. This is a ripoff of the worst ascepts of the Simpsons. Peter Griffin is so abusive-stupid and there is absolutely no wit (nor restraint which doesn't surprise me since this show is suppose to be polticially incorrect.). Stewie is the psycho baby who wants to destroy his family to get his freedom; I guess. I'm really not sure why Stewie hates his family. Chris is dumber and has no energy. He's basically a broken kid. Bart Simpson is much better than this and he's no Kit Cloudkicker. The only true Simpson's ripoff was Lois and she was quite dull actually. Anyway; Seth's biggest problem is that he cannot write a good script to save his life. The scripts are simply not funny at all. Half of the time; the episode uses a flashblack or fantasy and not one of them has really anything to do with the plot at all. Flashbacks only work if you're trying to build the characters origin or explain how a character became a character in the first place. It doesn't work for a show like this. The episodes have absolutely no flow and little rhyme or reason. If Peter can say something that isn't true; it can be made true by the animators. That's another sign of bad writing. Peter Griffin is annoying as heck and it's not funny. None of the jokes made sensed and many of them were cheap ripoffs of jokes that were done better on better shows. The show's real purpose for existance is that it was designed to give the middle finger to parent's groups. When Seth isn't ripping off works; he's degrading them into indeceny. Seth hasn't really done anything obscene; but he has come close many times. There are really only two jokes that were funny to me: The entire episode with Peter taking on the FCC (and getting his butt cleaned by them) because to me the FCC were the faces here after all the degradement that Peter puts it's viewers through. I'm sure that wasn't Seth's intention but whatever. The second joke was in the Stewie special where Peter Griffin gets a television job (which garners the only phrase that I use from Peter: What really grinds my gears?!) , that was the Spiderman sequence which seeing Peter bob on the clothesline while singing the Batman song badly did manage to make me laugh. However; I'm sure Ernie could have done a better job with Bullethead if Disney allowed the TaleSpin team to do such a sequence. Family Guy is a show that has influnced creators to kill creative writing and bring in bad jokes; indecent humor and lazy plotting and pacing. See American Dad, Stripperella and Ren & Stimpy's Adult Party Cartoon. I don't think Family Guy should be worried about getting sued for killing people who laugh. They should be worried about people suing them for breaking the rules of the FCC.

[11.] 101 Dalimations: The Series (1/4*)

This show acts as a mix of the Dodie Smith book, 1961 animated movie and 1996 live-action movie. After foiling Cruella DeVil's plot to make a fur coat with the puppies' skins, the Dearly Family (Roger and Anita Dearly, Nanny, Pongo, Perdita, their 15 birth puppies and 84 adopted puppies) move to a new farm home in the country. This show centers on three of Pongo and Perdy's pups, brave Lucky, tubby Rolly and Cadpig the runt. Together with their chicken friend Spot, they defend their new home from Cruella DeVil (Anita's boss and now new neighbor), continually get in and out of trouble, sneak into Grutely, and have all sorts of crazy adventures around the farm. Also along for the fun is Tripod, Patch, Two-Tone, Wizzer, Dipstick, Mooch, and the rest of their barnyard friends.

My Thoughts: In 1997; Disney decided to make cartoons that were FCC-Friendly after the FCC mandated that boardcast television (at least) show at least three hours of educational content per week. This was the first show to incorperate the concept of school in a show as a result. However; Disney forgot to realize that 101 Dalimations was a fantasy cartoon with talking animals and the whole educational concept didn't work as well here. Not to mention that what they tried was pretty asinie which shouldn't be a surprise since this is an asinie sitcom cartoon as well. The show itself was pretty awful to say the least as the animation was horrible in nearly every episode. Most of the characters are one trick ponies (even poor Cruella DeVil was character slaughtered due mostly to the genre of this show.) and Anita makes Goofy look smart since she will scare you with her cluelessness. Although that was mostly due to the fact that if Anita found out about Miss DeVil's actions the show would be officially over before it started. A product of lack of creativity. This show was saved mostly saved by the fact that two characters (Lucky the Puppy and Spot the Chicken) did have the potiential for heart; but were not called upon for the sake of cheap laughs. 101D also had its own version of school called the 'Bark Brigade' led by Lieutenant Pug; a bulldog who is without a doubt the most malevolent fictional character I have ever seen in my life. Think Miss Finster with a cave-men mentallity added for good measure. The only good news about this is [A] Pug doesn't appear as often as Miss Finster; [B] Pug is anthromorphic and more of an army type person than an educator and [C] the show as a whole had very sloppy writing, lazy character design, lack of heart and very poor animation that few would bother to watch the series in full anyway. There would be better shows about school and fantasy combined for Disney, but this was the worst of the bunch in 1997.

[10.] Butt-Ugly Martians (DUD)

In the near future, The Butt-Ugly Martians, Do-Wah-Diddy (Harnell), B. Bop-A-Luna (Schlatter) and 2-T-Fru-T (Paulsen) were sent to Earth by the evil Emperor Bog (Bullock) to destroy the place. However, on their mission, they discover hoverboarding (the future's version of skateboarding...remember Back to the Future?), hamburgers and video games and decide that the Earth is a pretty cool place after all. So, they meet up with some human friends, Mike, Ronald (both voiced by Paulsen) and Angela (Kath Soucie) and vow to protect the earth from alien invasion.

My Thoughts: This show was in a lot of trouble from the moment everyone saw the actual title of the show and it got even worse from there. Apparently; the creators thought that toilet humor would make the show witty and funny. However; not only does it not work at all; it wasn't even an attempt at toilet humor. The writers put in butt and poo references just for the sake of it. That's disgusting and I'm surprised that the FCC didn't notice it!! Okay; maybe they wouldn't since they are too busy with primetime to care. The characters make the Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtle look complex in comparsion and there is little plot and storyline in this series (and none of it is actually good). There is almost no character development, the CGI makes even Cubix look like art and the product reeks like a third rate Digimon show. Butt-Ugly Martians was almost unwatchable at times and the shows seems to only exist for the sake of putting mild naughty words into children's word usage. This was almost rock bottom for Nick; but one other show barely beats it; although in a more tragic way since this is one of the few times where a premise was turely as awful as it's execution.

[9.] Teamo Supremo (DUD)

"Teamo Supremo" are made up of pre-pubescent heroes Captain Crandall, Rope Girl and Skate Lad, who fight crime with the knowledge and cooperation of the well-meaning but not totally competent leader of the city, while at the same time having to go to school and live normal little child lives...

My Thoughts: Actually; I had to steal that from USIMDB writer Victor Field because there was no summary for this show. For some reason; this show sounds familiar to me...because it is a dead ringer to The Powerpuff Girls. Seriously; Disney (the company which is supposed to be original) created an FCC-Friendly show while taking elements straight from the Powerpuff Girls. Watch the show and compare it to the Powerpuff Girls and you'll be doing more double-takes than any other show in its existance. Disney tried to copy the success of the Powerpuff Girls; but it failed because of many things. The first is that the Powerpuff Girls needed violence to make the action genre design work. Team Supremo cannot use violence since the FCC rules don't allow it so the three team members need to use lassos to tie up their villians. Yes; that's right a lasso. You would think that anyone would have learned from the Michaelago Grappling Hook incident that the lasso as a main weapon is the bane for an action show. As I said; without violence it doesn't work. Second; this show's scripts are pretty bad and they have no real villians because villians doing villian thing are againest FCC rules. So we get bumbling bad guys who wouldn't be threathening even to the real world standards. Third; the animation is worse than Powerpuff Girls and even the character designs are worse than Powerpuff Girls as well. Gabe Bennett called this show Teamo Stupidio and I have to agree with him on that. This show is a third rate Powerpuff Girls show with all the parts taken out of it that could have made it into a success. This was turely rock bottom for Disney...until that certain anthro rabbit and dog came along to surpass it.

[8.] Chalkzone (DUD)

Rudy Tabootie's a regular kid with a very special possession: a magical piece of chalk that lets him enter ChalkZone, a world beyond the chalkboard. In ChalkZone, anything that's ever been doodled and erased comes to life. If Rudy draws a horse, he's got himself a ride - but if he draws a monster, he's got a big problem. Luckily, with the help of his sidekick Snap and his best friend, Penny, Rudy's a pro at drawing his way out of trouble when they're on an adventure. And in ChalkZone, adventure takes on a whole new dimension.

My Thoughts: This show was created during the bad period of Nick when they tried so hard to launch good premises into new cartoons. However; the shows failed because the good premises gave them an excuse for bad execution and terrible writing. Chalkzone was probably the worst of the lot due to having terrible animation as well. To be honest; I tried to like this show. I really did. The premise of a chalkboard fantasy world which was created by a magical chalk was very interesting and no more odd than bears in airplanes. However; the show failed the same reason why 99% of all animation fails: Lack of good execution. The characters weren't much although Snap was all right for the most part. The storyline were really weak for the most part and I kept asking myself: For a show about the creavity of drawing with chalk; the chalkmaster is sure unoriginal with his creations. The world of Chalkzone is supposed to be zany and whacky; but somehow appeared quite dull even for a children's cartoon. Rudy is almost like Timmy; except that he's an artist which has little inspiration. However; this elements probably wouldn't have exposed this show if not for the fact that nearly every episode has a music video in some sort of twisted honor to Jem And The Holograms. Except Jem's band could outsing this band without any trouble at all. The songs are even cheesier than Jem could ever cook up and they are only there to pad the episodes which run out of steam quicker than the "Your Baloo's In The Mail" episode. Thankfully for Nick; better times would be ahead as this was the show that allowed Nick to hit rock bottom.

[7.] Fighting Foodoms (DUD)

In the land of the Fighting Foodons, regular recipes turn into meal-time monsters when the art of culinary combat is concocted. It's all friendly competition, that is, until evil becomes the order of the day. King Gorge and his Gluttons have cooked up a devious plan to rule the world and they've sprinkled an extra dash of destruction. By kidnapping all the world's greatest Foodon chefs they've truly set the table for trouble. But wait! There's one boy named Chase, a young apprentice chef with an appetite for action, who thinks he has what it takes to become an Elite Master Chef like his father, Master Chef Jack. Chase believes that he himself can change the world, one meal at a time.

My Thoughts: Okay; my previous review on the show wasn't good so here is the new review. In Japan the show is called Kakutou Ryouri Densetsu Bistro Recipe (which I like better than the name the Americans gave it) and it is supposed to be a cross between Pokemon and Iron Chef. In my previous review; I stated that this was a third rate Pokemon style show. I'm actually going to have to say that I'm wrong here: It's actually a third rate Beyblade show which is actually worse (not that Beyblade sucks since I like Beyblade actually; but not as much as Pokemon). The animation is very choppy and it's clearly terrible even for a second class anime show. The storylines are third rate and this show contains some baggage as a show that has been accused by Boston Globe Parent Columnist Barbara F. Meltz as promoting obscene values because apparently having fun with your food is killing poor children somewhere. Regardless; the characters weren't interesting enough to pull me into the show and it was basically cancelled after one season anyway; so it really didn't have enough of an effect to lure children into the obscene values that Barbara was talking about anyway. The theme song was really goofy and only Clawdia was good enough for a stroll. While I don't believe this show is as obscene as Barbara sezs it is (Why doesn't she condemn The Incredible Crash Dummies shorts that 4Kids was doing? 4Kids basically took a couple of role models for injury prevention and made fun of injuries which is far worse than obesity in terms of finacial loss and the fact that injuries don't discriminate. Doesn't that show that she was merely riding the wave of sensationalism? Okay; enough ranting on a show was doesn't count because it's not a cartoon; but a vignette.); it's not a decent show by any means either. And when I mean decent; I mean the quality is terrible. Fried Ricer is not the future of animation no matter what some fans would like to believe. This show makes Super Aqua Teen Hunger Force look good actually despite the fact that it is not.

[6.] Brandy & Mr. Whiskers (DUD)

A snobbish dog and a half crazed rabbit try to make the best of things when they get stranded in the Amazon rain forrest together.

My Thoughts: I heard that Disney was using this show to reinvent the Spongebob SquarePants formula. In this case Brandy takes the worst character traits of Squidward, Sandy Sweetcheeks (which is the ultimate bane of Brandy) and Mr. Krabs while Mr. Whiskers (voiced by Charlie Adler who does a great job in trying to save this show; but sadly fails.) gets Spongebob and Patrick Star when they are way off. Seriously; Disney tried to reinvent a Disney version of Spongebob SquarePants; even down to the Nick style of animation; but with that thick black outline look; it looks more like a slightly better animated version of 101 Dalimations the Series. To be perfectly honest; this concept would have worked much better if Baloo and Rebecca were the ones stranded in the rain forest. Brandy is worser than a jerk; she's rhymes with witch; I'm not going to actually say it. You know what I'm talking about here. Mr. Whiskers is so stupid that he makes Patrick Star smart in comparison...and despite Charles Adler's attempt to make Mr. Whiskers sound funny, the writers assure that the rabbit comes off as a dirty piece of garbage. The rest of the characters are so one trick ponies that they could be written out and the show would actually improve as a result. Not by much mind you; but still. However; the worst part of the show is summed up in the quote below. It explains Disney's sudden change into being a kiddy company rather than a G-rated company.


In last week’s article I mentioned a serious concern among fans young and old about what is lacking in newer offerings from Disney’s Television division – especially concerning the dual concepts of quality and philosophy. In order to expand on these two concepts I’ve chosen to pick out one example to answer a simple question – what is this lack – and what is this “Disney Philosophy”?

This one example is a relatively new series “Brandy and Mr. Whiskers” (B&MW), considered by many (including the authors) as a glaring example that the Disney Channel is only offering programming for kids, despite trying to appeal to adults as well - and very bad programming at that. As one writer has pointed out, B&MW is a show where the “humor is adult-oriented with a self-centered dog from New York and a white smelly rabbit lost in the Amazon together. The rabbit (Mr. Whiskers) frequently makes comments referring to sexual aspects, enjoys smelling his feet, etc. …and Brandy (the stuck-up canine from the Bronx) is self-centered, and just plain rude.” (1) “Quality” messages to send to our kids they are not.

...And worse of all: Those aspects are just in the opening credits alone - 90 seconds. Here's a memo to Disney: Stop trying to be classic Nick. Nickelodeon is better than you at that style even at it's worst. Go back to the classic Disney style; even if it takes years to relearn it. At least you're live action stuff isn't as bad as this cartoon. Besides; nobody watches Disney to be a follower; they watch it because Disney is supposed to be a leader in animation. Don't insult people's intellegence by releasing shows that follow someone else's example outside of the company. It doesn't ruin them; it ruins you. Be yourself; it worked for so many people, particually the ones who watched One Saturday Morning when Genie states that "Great Minds Think For Themselves". Talk about being hypocritical.

[5.] Stripperella (-**)

Pamela is the voice of Erotica Jones, a dancer at the local strip club, who always has time for her friends such as Persephone, a fellow stripper who is dating conjoined twins. But when duty calls Erotica becomes Stripperella an agent for T.H.U.G.G. and a superhero who fends off nasty villains such as Dr. Cesarean, a plastic surgeon whose evil plans involve giving unexpected women explosive breast implants made of nitroglycerin; Cheapo, a super-villain on a budget who makes his henchman share a gun; and Pushy Galore, a former genetic physicist who has learned to breed animals with designer logos on their skin and makes designer knockoffs out of her ex-husbands. Stripperella has the ability to float to safety from tall distances courtesy of her enhanced hair. Watch out for her patented move Scissor-ella which allows her to knock-out bad guys with her thighs (think Famke Jannsen as Xenia Onatopp in the James Bond film Goldeneye). If she allows you to touch her breasts then look out for trick because a gadget in the chest area of her outfit works as a lie detector and tells Stripperella if someone is lying when they touch it. But the most outragous gadget at her disposal has to be the digital scanner placed under her tongue which she can use to upload pictures to a computer.

My Thoughts: This is a superheroine show starring the voice of Pamula "Lee" Anderson and was created by a famous cartoonist known as Stan Lee; the creator of Spiderman. The storyline here (and that's amazing in itself considering that it's the former star of Baywatch) is that Striperella is a stripper of late night and superheroine by later night (which is a clever reconstruction of the newspaper reporter by day, superhero by night phrase.) She has to fight cheap villians who are causing evil to a city. Now the good news about this show is that Stripperella is a lot tamer than Ren & Stimpy (think any 18+ show on Teletoon) and there were some funny villians out here. Hey; even I was laughing at the villian who only put a bounty on Stripperella's head for eight dollars. However; if Stan Lee thinks that this superhero series is _mature_ then he's wrong by a longshot. Look; if Stan Lee wants to create a mature cartoon; then he is free to do so. After all; I always believed that anything Stan Lee does is not kids stuff to begin with. However; the question must be asked: Is this show really groundbreaking to justify the _mature_ content? I watched it and the answer is no. What I see in Striperella is the same storylines that have become a chiche in superhero cartoons. It just so happens that there is adult content in it. I do find the show somewhat funny; but not in a good way. For example; I find it funny that Pam Anderson has a _no nudity_ clause in her contract and yet she is seen stripping on several occasions. Doesn't that count as nudity? In another example; didn't anyone notice just how shallow the characters are? I have known Stan Lee production before and they are quite deep to say the least. This deepness and complexity gave this otherwise kids-type show a huge level maturity. Ask anyone who has ever watched Spiderman in many of it's forms (myself included) and they will tell you about such things about the origins of the characters. Now personally; I'd rather go for TaleSpin complexity through interactions rather than flashbacks which Spiderman depends on. However; flashbacks are still better than what we got here in Striperella. What I see here is a bunch of characters who serve little purpose other than to show how _mature_ it is. The animation is also nothing to write home about either. I have seen a lot worse (101 Dalimations, Jabberjaw and Teamo Supremo [which out of editorial sake; I will not use Gabe's version of the title Teamo Stupido] come to mind). However; it's just nothing special either. As I stated before; this series was effectively cancelled before it was even released and Spike TV was showing four or five episode. I will say this that I will not cry a river of sadness (except for joy) when this show leaves the air forever. While Striperella is a lot more watchable then Ren & Stimpy's Adult Party Cartoon; that isn't saying much at all. Another show to avoid.

[4.] American Dad (-***)

The misadventures of Stan Smith and his wacky family. Stan: Stan works for the CIA, and is constantly on the look-out for terrorists. He loves his family and will do anything to protect them, and his country. Francine: Stan's wife, she has had a past life of drugs, but she has carefully hidden her party-girl personality for the sake of the conservative man she loves. She met Stan after college. Hayley: The teenage daughter of the family, currently attending community college. Despite her father's best efforts she has turned out to be a left-wing liberal. Stan loves his daughter, but that doesn't necessarily mean he trusts her. Steve: The dorky son, he tries to act cool, but fails. Steve is on the verge of puberty - but he just can't quite make it. His low social status sometimes leads him to taking drastic action - but no matter what he does, he's just a dork. Roger: A sarcastic alien rescued by Stan from Area 51. He resents not being allowed to leave the house, so has resorted to drinking wine and smoking cigarettes. And Klaus: A German-talking goldfish, he was a CIA experiment that went horribly wrong when they tried transplanting a German man's brain into a goldfish. Klaus lusts after Francine, and will take any opportunity that comes his way.

My Thoughts: After the success of Family Guy; (if you call success intentionally ripping off jokes from other shows; getting cancelled a bunch of times and raising the ire of the PTC.) Seth Macfarlane decided to create a second show which instead of poking at blue states and the FCC; they poked fun at the red states. On a personal note; I hate both sides and wish they never existed. They are the real reason why America is going down the tubes. Hello; we got terrorists being shoved down our throats; the last thing we need is two groups trying to destroy each other verbally. So; any poking fun at those two groups is okay by me because they deserve it. However; I don't want Seth doing it because he insults my intellegence. This show is actually worse than Family Guy because none of the jokes are actually funny. Most of them I actually cringed at; including the disclaimer about cartoon nudity (why bother? Everyone knows that Baloo is half naked; heck most anthros are half naked, even Babs comes close on occasion (Like that skirt covers anything up?)) because the artwork looks nothing like a real human being. While I'm not upset that Stan is supposed to be a pure-blood America Patroit; he doesn't act like one. Stan actually is slightly better than Peter Griffin; but that's only because he isn't half as stupid as Peter is. The problem is that it makes Stan come off as an unlikable jerk. The rest of the characters are basically the same character types as Family Guys (unless you're picky Rodger is an alien which is different than Brian who is a dog) and are just as annoying and unlikable. However; the one episode that really grinds my gears (the only intellegent line ever said in both shows combined) is Stan of Arabia which is got to be so insipid and so insulting of anyone intellegence that it comes very close to the average episode of Ren & Stimpy's Adult Party Cartoon. I almost threw up watching the two parter as Stan betrayed his country just to force her wife to obey him. It was disgusting; and was completely intended to be that way. It wasn't funny it was obscene. While men have been punished enough for their crimes; this episode is only going to set the equality issue back a few years at least. This is the worst show that is actually running new episodes this fall and while they'll never be as bad as Stan of Arabia; that episode made me lose respect of Seth as a human being. The animation is standard Seth issue (artwork stinks; animation is average) and while it's no Ren & Stimpy, it tries to be cringeful; but becomes merely unwatchable. If you want a family-style show; the Simpsons are a hundred times better. Heck; South Park is better in spite of the indecent material. This is just not worth watching and not really needed since Family Guy is still on the air with new episodes as well.

[3.] Ren & Stimpy's Adult Party Cartoon (-****)

John Kricfalusi, the creator of the original Ren & Stimpy Show, is back at the helm with new adventures of Ren Höek and Stimpson J. Cat (Stimpy) in Ren & Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon, with the emphasis toward adults instead of children. These half-hour long episodes feature the duo in new situations. The original humor that made Ren & Stimpy a success is back, like flatulence jokes and gross-out gags, combined now with adult themes and situations that make it stand out as a truly funny show, the way it was supposed to be.

My Thoughts: This is the remake of the popular cartoon in the mid 1990's created by famous animation artist John K. John K. is considered a God in the world of adult animation and has had a lot to say about the state of animation (a lot of it which is valid). The original was a very famous cartoon in both a good and a bad way (decried by parent's groups as being gross which is ture) It was famous for it's grossout humor; but it had decent writing and many of the jokes were funny. It spawned the catchprase "You eediot!" which is funny onto itself and had a cute theme song. Considering the record of remakes (He-Man, Justice League, TMNT etc.) you would think that John K. would create a great remake. However; it is far from it ; even the Strawberry Shortcake remake wasn't nearly as bad as this show. I read from the buildup to this series from an animator (who didn't animate TaleSpin thank goodness) stated that they _believed_ in the John K. mantra of drawing funny, well-drawn cartoon. The statement without context is all well in good; however, do you know just how stupid that sounds? Does the phrase _Watchable_ have any meaning for you? Look; I agree that we earn the right to see funny, well-drawn cartoons. Heaven forbid we don't; since I've haven't seen a lot of it in children's cartoons lately. However; how can I enjoy them as such when I'm forced to close my eyes every half a minute or so? That in itself redefines the concept of a really bad show. I officially take back everything I ever said about Dentention and The Cramp Twins. Sure these two degrade twins and the concept of school (along with Recess; but at least they attempted to improve themselves in the second season); but at least the gross stuff is more tolerance. Say; close the eyes every three minutes or so. What I see here is basically seeing Poor Ren & Stimpy doing or being the victims of sexual acts which would be considered a criminal offense. I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP! I'm not going to list examples on this website because I'm not going to stoop to the lows of some people (at least two of them have signed my guestbook in a sexual matter). I'm also not going to get into the matter in the fact that homosexuals or bi-sexuals (namely Ren & Stimpy) were used in the sick jokes because that also steps over the line. The real question is this: Do any _real_ adult watch such a _show_ such as this? I highly doubt it. I'll explain this at the end of the editorial. The sick thing here is that this show has started by showing a pilot episode with absolutely no plot and little storyline to speak of. It's an half-hour of UNWATCHABLE sight gags that show just what kind of person John K. really is and he basically insulted most of the audience (particually the people who watched the original) who do have a small level of moral fiber in their own bodies and souls. I guess Nick has done something good after all when John K. to tone down the original Ren & Stimpy (a move which John K. hates with a passion.) because the original; while having it's share of cringeful moments, did have half-decent plots and a few moments where the show showed redeempation. I see nothing of the kind in the remake at all. I'm glad Nick has disowned this series for good since it is an _mature_ (I hate that word now!) series in which John K. has no one to tell him to tone the show down.................... .........AND THAT'S NOT THE WORST OF THIS REMAKE! When the second episode aired; there was a sudden shift in the fact that the gross-out factor was toned down quite a bit and there was an actual plot (as small as it was). This basically insulted the intellegence of whomever was left watching this _show_ if you can call that now. I could go now and whine about delays and ripoffs from the original R&S; but I have two more shows to review. The bottom line is that the new R&S alone is going to cause pain and suffering to those who dare watch it. Parents and Adults in general will hate it all alike. John K. might be a good animation artist (and R&S: APC is well animated; I'll give them that much only); but, if we want a ture, pure _mature_ cartoon; John K. is _not_ the person to do it. Avoid this show like the plague.

[2.] Detention (-****)

Welcome to Benedict Arnold Middle School! Join the gang Shareena, conspiracy nut Emmitt, pugnacious Gug, twin geniuses Orangejella and Lemonjella, comic book fanatic Jim Kim, Duncan the yo-yo champ, not to mention the annoyingly perky Shelley Kelley - as they try to stay out of the clutches of the ominous Miss Kisskillya who runs detention like a drill sergeant. Needless to say, it ain't easy!

My Thoughts: I knew that this show was in trouble the moment I heard the name of the school. This show was created because of the popularity of Disney's Recess which dare I say wasn't really a good idea to rip off since Recess was a pretty poor show quality-wise. Somehow this show managed to do even worse. While Princpal Prickely was most of the time inhumane; even he is a wuss compared to Miss Kisskillya who managed to get the worst traits of both Prickely and Lt. Pug from 101 Dalimations: The Series. How bad you ask? She screams Dentention like a bad tooth ache every minute or so. The teacher were just like Recess; only more annoying. The kids were stereotype one trick ponies like Recess; only worse. The animation was even worse than Recess and the artwork was just as awful. Shareena did manage to have character wise a refreshing change with the Goth character compared from the stereotypical cool kid that T.J. played; but it was a lame ripoff from Beetlejuice The Series which was much better than this show. The show was simply unwatchable and really offended me because it was shows like this that destroyed a pretty good concept in shows about school. Honestly folks; no princpal and no teacher is _this_ inhumane. The kids are a lot more inhumane than most children in real life. No one bought it as a creditable show as a result and it has been cancelled and hopefully will never show up on television ever again.

[1.] The Cramp Twins (-*****)

The story of a pair of non-identical twin brothers, Lucien and Wayne, who live with their hygiene-crazed mother and their western/country-crazed father in a small town called Soap City. Lucien is a delicate, nature-loving boy, while Wayne is a rough antisocial bully, whose only interest in life is junk. Naturally, some conflicts will ensue.

My Thoughts: Well; I found it. A show that turely deserves FCC fines because it was not only a tasteless show; it was a tasteless show that somehow manages to pass FCC muster without incident. The animation was terrible and the key art wasn't any better either. The backstory is very simple. This is the misadventures (for a lack of a better wisecrack) of two twins, one which is normal while one is purple in color and is clearly in need of psychological help. I get very bad cramps watching this show as this show is far worse than Fighting Foodums ever was. FF did have one redeemable thing and that was Clawdia. The Cramp Twins have none whatsoever; as the animation was completely off-base; the humor was vulgar and not funny (a clear sign of trying to pander), the storylines were overused and non-redeemable (do you have to degrade grandma just one more time in additional to degrading twins as a premise?) and it was gross-out after gross-out from the start. Now I'm trying very hard not to be too harsh in reviewing cartoons; however, it is hard to suspend your disbelief when your intellegence has been insulted. Particually when you find out that the creators might have intentionally tired to insult my intellegence. As you are well aware; I used to rate The Cramp Twins the third worst cartoon ever created in my humble opinion. It was that bad. Well; I watched a promo recently concerning the Cramp Twins on Fox and while I was watching it; I heard the announcer talking about how those Cramp Twins broke every rule (in good taste on kid programming) while showing out the grossout humor that the show is only known for. What they said next was the reason why I'm complaining about this show. The promo clearly said : _And that's only the first five minutes!_ In other words; the creators are desparate to get people to watch the show. If a show is supposed to be good; then there's no need or reason to do such a promo like this. I don't remember TaleSpin doing a commerical that panders like the Cramp Twins do. Fighting Foodums was one of the worst shows in history; but the promos were not pandering and as I mentioned before; that Clawdia was a redeemable character. After I saw the promo; I now declare The Cramp Twins to be the worst cartoon ever created...PERIOD!! Where were the parent groups on this one?! This gives new meaning to the term asleep at the wheel... both ways. As bad as Ren & Stimpy's Adult Party Cartoon was as well as The Strip in general; I don't believe that John K. would ever intend to make his show so awful. He's got more intergity than that. The Cramp Twins have demonstrated that they cannot make a good show at all and they pretty much admit that they intended it to be that way. To me; as long as they lure children into believing that the show is any good; then it is good enough for them. Apparently; it has worked because The Cramp Twins are on for the remainder of the 2003/2004 season on the FoxBox. It's time for Fox and 4Kids to wake up and realize that this cartoon is dangerous to watch and tell the creators to find a new occupation. To create a bad cartoon is one thing; I can handle that. However; to intend to create a bad cartoon is like creating a defective product. A lot of children who watch this and like it are going to be poor as a result. Shame on you Fox and 4Kids! And that's why this show deserves the full negative monty. I'm amazed that this show lasted as long as it did. I hope that Disney sees this show and Fairly OddParents and doesn't do what they did in those shows with The Replacements. Even Malcom In The Middle is a better show than this garbage. I'll take psycho mother over neat freak mother any day of the week.


....And there you have it; the worst fifty cartoons I have ever seen in my life. Maybe I'll do a Top Fifty Best Cartoons I Have Ever Seen....Maybe...and for those who attack me for being bias; remember that....That's my opinion; I welcome yours...See you next time.

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