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Stop Being Such Girly Men!

By: Gregory Weagle

(2015 Gregory Weagle: That was a horrible message for a title there 2006 Me! Seriously; what is wrong with being a girly man?! I'm the fattest girly man in the history of the internet! I feel dreadfully insulted by this. It should have been Stop Being Suck A Bigoted Man! That makes a lot more sense with the editorial. Oh; and the editorial is dead on otherwise.)

Well it should be no secret to anyone that I love animation and the voices behind them. It is really great to hear Bart Simpson say "Eat My Shorts"! or Chucky (From Rugrats) perform miracles just to amuse me. However; in a world of beauty, there are those people who are so cynical and jaded that seeing beauty is seen as offensive. They are those who overanalyze everything in the guise of protection. Sometimes it can be justified since I always wondered if making cringeful moments every thirty seconds or so is even healthy; let alone offensive. (Ah! This editorial was written after I wrote the editoral for "The Strip") Sometimes it isn't justifiable like those who hate Harry Potter because of the occult themes. And then there are those who write in the IMDB comments sections. Without pointing fingers at anyone or offending anyone; to be perfectly honest, 90% of the opinions on that website are pure crap and it happens equally to those who hate Show X and love Show X. (I can tell you right now that 100% of Mitchell McRae's are much worse than the 90% of opinions on IMDB. All he whines and cries about is the IMDB rating for shows that he hates or loves. Who cares about IMDB ratings? Execs never use them (sure; they use the television ratings in an improper way (Isn't viewership the only one that matters in terms of a show's existence?) and I want to know why you hate this damn show so much. And no; saying "You know when you see it" is not a valid opinion. It's a demand and it insults the reader. Stop making us see what you see. Explain to us why you think the show sucks? Otherwise; shut up and get out! This is a review site; not a "get my kicks" website.) Some hate a show because of it's poor execution of the ideas present. That would be me too. (That's perfectly fair.) Some hate a show because it doesn't protray their values. Even I sometimes act this way if Adult Party Cartoon is any indication. (There are some things that even adult cartoons shouldn't try; for their own safety. Rape jokes are on top of the list.) However; there are some out there who hate an animated series for one reason and one reason only: They find that the male characters are voiced by middle-aged women. (What a sexist bigot this user is?!) Characters like Jimmy Neutron, Chucky, Bart Simpson, Honker, and many others. In fact; most male character are voiced by middle-aged women. Still; why hate them for doing it?! (Yeah; I have said for many years now. There's nothing wrong with using middle aged women to voice boy and girl characters. It's done all the time; it's inexpensive and it works out great in comedy, action and adventure stuff. It's only drama where there is a problem and it has nothing to do with the talent of the voice actress and all to do with the fact that having a real child voice these scenes makes the emotion feel real; which is the point of drama. When you feel cheated; no matter how talented you are, almost without exception, the drama doesn't work. A big reason why most cartoons are comedy in America. It's much cheaper to do and requires little work from the audience.) It makes no sense. Apparently; one user on the IMDB has the answer for me. The user's name is roosnooker86 in case anyone wants to know. He claims in his mispelled columns that the presence of these female voice talents who voice male characters somehow ruins the manhood of boys in real life. In other words; boys become girly male adults in later life. He also calls them flower sniffers, tom boys and a really offensive phrase which I won't dare mention on my website. (I think the word you are looking for is cocksucker 2006 Me! You can mention it now since the DVD version of TaleSpin had the subtitle "Cock Crowing" during several TaleSpin episodes. Yeah.) This really is so stupid on many levels that I don't know where to start?! I guess this user has forgotten that animation isn't real. But wait a minute?! Is there something to this whole thing?! I mean we thought that media violence affecting children in a negative way was silly and yet studies of aggression proved otherwise and why do creators use middle-aged women voices to voice young boy characters anyway?! Aren't there enough boys in the real world as it is?!

While there are no professional studies to the best of my knowledge on the matter; personal experience has actually proven that the boyish voices protrayed by male characters does cause some young boys in real life to sound silly and girlish. (Well; I did say professional studies; but "peer reviewed studies" is a much better term since it means that there is something to that study and it's not junk science designed to make moral guardians paranoid.) Just ask Apollo; who fears that Ash Katchum corny voice is going to be repeated by kids when they watch Pokemon. While children don't exactly repeat everything they see and hear; they try come close to it. Also; the education systems in public schools are designed with a female touch to it and don't exactly cater to boys very well since they are completely different. I can understand having it to reduce the violent tendences of boys which girls have; but what's happening today is way too much. A lot of boys are getting teased because they sound and mimic girls in almost every way. There is a fine line between equality and mimicking and both sides have crossed that line a long time ago. I can take boys cooking, cleaning, office work and even caring for the kids as much as I can take girls becoming president. I would love for that to happen. But when boys start sounding and wearing girl's clothes; it is a problem. (No, it's not...Oh wait...) It is sad to see boys sounding like Ash and getting teased for being gay or bi-sexual when they clearly are not. Here's some food for thought: It's not the actual violence of media that makes children violent; it's often the non-violent stupidity of trying to be something that they are not in front of their peers and getting blown off as a result. (And to a large extent; that is actually true. Bigotry is often non-violent.)All of these animations in which male characters are voiced by female character should be either banned or re-voiced so that real boys are voiced in their place before some boy gets teased and starts killing their classmates as a result. (Name one incident...oh wait...) roosnooker86 is preforming a public service in his concern for boys and we should obey him.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I almost got everyone there. (No you didn't 2006 Me. You basically telegraphed it the moment you started "JAQ'ing off". JAQ means "Just asking questions" in which you rang off four questions in a row and five out of six in one paragraph.) Does roosnooker86 think I'm that dense?! The last paragraph was a complete joke on my part. If roosnooker86 fell for this then he's going to be the one who needs to seek help. There are four problems with the last paragraph: [1.] I have a shot memory; so I probably lied about my personal experiences (Nah; your memory is fine; human minds are always defective which is why sciences always rules the roost.) [2.] 95% of all animation would need to be killed off [3.] roosnooker86 is hypocritical (because he still likes the cartoons that he hates) and the only one who even cares about this issue anyway and [4.] Most of the real boy actors grew up; so nothing is going to change as a result. Now TaleSpin has very little to apologize for in this area since nearly every child character in the series is voiced by real children. Ironically; the only tomboy voice in the series is Debi Derryberry voicing Wan Lo's son in one episode which probably jump-started her career as the tomboy voice actress. (Yeah; you wonder why Molly only appears in a few episodes and Kit need two boys as voices? It's because of child labour laws and growing up. It's simply biology 101. It's sad in a way since I perfer boys voicing boy roles; but what can you do?). The sad problem is that finding a real boy to realistically protray a real boy without screwing up is a complete chore to say the least. Most of the best boy actors in this area have already grown up and their voices are now so deep that it's impossible for them to sound like anything else other than a middle-aged man. The fact is that the most believable boy voices is done be middle -aged woman simply because boys sound like middle-aged women. It's much cheaper and there's no baggage to consider (from anti-child labour groups). Now in all fairness to roosnooker86; as much as I love the voices, I'm not a big fan of having middle-aged women voicing boys. Not because they ruin men's voices; but they take away possible spots for upcoming boys who want to persue an acting job in Hollywood. I think it would be better served if they stay with voicing female characters because there is a much bigger void of young girl actress around. It was a miracle to find Janna Michaels as the voice of Molly. Despite that problem; at least I can understand why creators give woman these characters instead of real boy actors; unlike roosnooker86. (True of course.) Here's a question for you: Is it all right for a male voice talent to voice a female character?! Let's look at TaleSpin since they used Jim Cummings to voice Louie's Aunt Louise. Call me crazy; but I think that a male actor doing a female character is MORE damaging to young boys mind than female voices voicing male characters if for the only reason that it makes the girly voice done by a male sound okay to do in real life. (No; you're not crazy 2006 Me! You sound like a bigot. There is no more damage either way. That said...)You don't seen outraged at that?! (Clearly not.) Aren't women offended by this?! (Not usually. They have enough problems with sexism as it is without that caveat.) Not to mention the amount of cross-dressing from Baloo in the episode Feminie Air where Ed Gilbert sounded girly while being Tan Margent (Baloo's alter ego). Why are you so outraged by girls being men and yet when men become woman; there is no peep out of you?! This proves two things: [1.] How pointless this is because no one cares who's voicing who as long as the voice is good and [2.] roosnooker86 is a hypocritical, sexist bigot. It's not hard to see why since calling Debbi Derryberry a flowersniffer and a sucker of a sex organ is slanderous, sexist libel. Your case is absolute zero at best and your a true shout in the wind if I ever saw one. (He probably is a horrible shout in the wind if I ever saw one too.)

Now to end my short editorial; I would like to give some advice to those who wish to be future ranters or those who wish to freely speak their minds on the internet: Think before you write. For those who believe that Show X is a good show; please explain why it is such a good show. How did it entertain you?! Why was it funny?! Why was it dramatic?! Why was is special?! If you can come up with the answers in a thoughtful, honest way then your opinion will be treated seriously and more than just a hypocritical shout in the wind. (Usually. Some people will never get that; but most usually will give you a chance if you focus on the product.) Saying that X Show is good because Y Show is immoral is wrong. That's really admitting that you use your media as a babysitter. Some consider that child abuse. I don't; but some experts do anyway and they are becoming more important by the day. Also; blasting negative reviews because X Show doesn't cater to them is also wrong. Many adults watch shows that aren't supposed to be for them just as much as kids watch shows that aren't suitable for them. There is such a thing as Fun For The Whole Family if you are willing to look. (TESTIFY~! If you are really serious about reviewing a good show, be prepared to explain why no matter how long it takes. And be reasonable because after a certain period of time, you usually do find a better show than the "best show of all times".) For those who believe that Show X is awful or not good enough for them; explain why?! Why was it not funny?! Why was it not dramatic?! Why was it not special?! Why wasn't it entertaining?! Again; if you can come up with the answers in an honest, thoughtful manner, then your opinion will be treated seriously and more than a mere shout in the wind. Slapping down positive reviews and calling them retarded is insulting and wrong. People will simply ignore you; or worse they will call the adminstrator to ban you from the forums. Watch your freedom of expression because it is often the abuse of freedom of expression that causes the chill of the same. (TESTIFY~! Insulting your audience buries you as a serious reviewer. You can change people's minds and to do that, you focus on the product not on the reader.) I'm sick and tired of reading comments that people write which love/hate a show for no reason other than to insult others. I'm no longer taking your opinions seriously anymore. Also; can't it hurt to show some decent spelling and grammer?! I don't expect prefection since even I makes mistakes writing. (I think I have gotten worse in this department than in 2006. Ponder that for a moment.) But I find that internet symbols and internet lingo (LOL for example) is not very proper. (Free advice to kids: HAHA! is LOL; only everyone knows you are laughing out loud because HAHA is the sound you make when you are laughing. HAHA! is five bytes, LOL is three bytes. Bytes are nothing these days, it's not going to make a difference in texting and it's about the same amount of finger typing skills. The only reason you use internet lingo is because you hate adults, in which the irony is completely lost in you when you reach age 18 or so (Trust me; you'll be saying "GOML - Get Off My Lawn" and it will taken as seriously as it always has been. As in; usually never. Which is not a surprise; since children acting this way is to be expected. But if you are going to impress me, do not write like a robot. Write like someone who speaks. What does OMG stand for? Oh My God? Oh My Goodness? Oh My Goddess? One Man Gang? One Mighty Giant? Get the picture?! Even LOL could mean something other than laugh out loud.) If you are not going to take your time in writing a proper opinion or thought; you're better off not expressing it at all because you will be flammed, shunned and discredited to a point where it becomes self-parody. (You could say: You buried yourself. That would have gotten the message in less writing.)

Happy writing! (After that rant; that's a funny way of ending the editorial.) That's my opinion; I welcome yours. See you next time.

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