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Treasure Of The Golden Suns Part One
The Upstreaming of Disney has begun in earnest....
Welcome kiddies; this is Gregory Weagle; back again with probably the last major DVD set I have for DTVA. And how fitting it is that it would be the show that started all the chaos that would soon follow. You can thank this show for Darkwing Duck, Quack Pack, and even TaleSpin to a lesser extent in the most direct of terms. You can thank this show for giving Michael Eisner the idea of using the television as a feature division. And you can thank this show for the beginning stages of the disruption of Disney one by one. It may or may not also started Cartoon Duck Syndrome; but the evidence is still pending at this point; but I present the first major DTVA to get the division monster over for good: Ducktales. WOOHOO!
With me doing this series; my DTVA ranting can now come full circle as this was the show that got me watching Disney Television Animation. Yes; I hated TaleSpin back in 1990 and then loved it in 1994. But during that time; Ducktales was my favorite DTVA show; simply because it was just plain fun to watch. Hey; I was about nine at the time of release so it was easy to see why it was so fun. However; from a historic perspective; Ducktales deserves a lot of praise because it set the table for DTVA. Ducktales is basically Donald Duck/Uncle Scoorge comics for the television audience which actually fits better on television than it did in the comics. Sadly; it also caused a lot of heat and with good reason since to many comic book fans and producers they were basically giving away free comics that moved on television and were disrupting their business; which was already in a lot of trouble as it is. As much as Ducktales got in heat; TaleSpin's heat was much worse simply because as I stated before; Magon was disrupting feature with the Jungle Book spinoff and his mini movies take and Disney Feature was and still is considered one of the biggest crown jewels Disney has. In a twist; TaleSpin was supposed to be a spinoff of Ducktales with Launchpad; but Launchpad was nixed in favor of Baloo thus TaleSpin gets the nod of being a parody of both Ducktales (WDTVA) and Jungle Book (WDFA) all at the same time. Yeah.
At any rate; Ducktales was a monster success at the time (probably due to the fact that it was at the peak of being good enough animation wise; the stories and character were not there yet; but getting close) and the show got the highest number of 22 minute episodes in history with 99 (There are 100 stories; but two of them are 11 minute shorts.). Launchpad also got a spinoff role in Darkwing Duck (which killed off his career thanks to Drake Mallard of course) and we also got Quack Pack; it's most hated alternative reality Ducktales world show that didn't like because it was a horrible mess. Think Family Guy without the charming trainwreck angles and fighting chicken. I guess the question remains; was Ducktales worth it? If the answer was a long term DTVA; the answer would be yes and no. I think the problem with DTVA was not with Ducktales itself (although as you will see; Ducktales has it's share of problems) as TaleSpin and even Darkwing Duck had success themselves (and the later shows had the assembly animation problems up the ying yang; although TaleSpin's substance over style assured that the animation errors wouldn't be so obvious.); but the fact that Robert Taylor and Toby Shelton weren't really all that talented when it came to leadership and the quality suffered because of it.
So how does Ducktales stack up now? Well; this is the first time I have seen Ducktales in probably a decade so for most of the episodes; I'm ready to see them again and be surprised as an adult rather than as a child. I do know that there are a lot of Ducktales fans who do not like ANY episodes involving Bubba The Cave Duck and think that Bubba is on par with Scrappy Doo. I'll deal with him when we get to that point of the road which will likely be Volume 3 in about four months from now. I do know that I love Gizmo Duck so I will enjoy Super Ducktales at least on that level; also on Volume 3. For now; I'm starting on Volume 2 which has the pilot episode from the first season which is Treasure of the Golden Suns. This is where Scrooge McDuck meets the nephews for the first time (in the Ducktales canon) and Donald Duck joins the navy to get FCC slaughtered.…..apparently. Now before I begin; I put out this warning to anime purists and I'm going to do this to Donald Duck/Uncle Scrooge comic book fans. This is your first and last warning. I review what I see and hear. No more, no less. I have never seen the comic books; so please don't start yelling at me about continuity errors or errors in the original source material. I don't care because I have never read said material. If you want to complain about that; go see Chris Barat or someone who has better expertise on the subject. I'm just a television fan who likes to be entertained. Thank you. So; now that we got that out of the way....
It's time for probably one of the most important story arcs in DTVA history. Can it measure up to Plunder and Lightning? Let's rant on and find out shall we....?!
This episode was written by Jymn Magon, Bruce Talkington and Mark Zaslove and the story is edited by Jymn Magon. The script was consulted by Tedd Anasti and Patty Cameron. The teleplay was done by Jymn Magon and Bruce Talkington. For the sake of shortening my rants a little; I won't repeat myself on Jymn Magon and Mark Zaslove again since I have already mentioned them in grave detail in my TaleSpin re-rants.
The late Bruce Talkington (passed away in 2000) had a few acting jobs in the late 1970's-1980's before taking his hand in mostly story editing and writing for Disney Television Animation; starting with Fluppy Dogs in 1986. He pretty much left Disney in 1993 and did freelance writing and story editing soon after with Little People Big Discoveries and Clifford The Big Red Dog. He was considered a middle of the road writer by TaleSpin standards which is pretty high in my view. Tedd Anasti is another writer who started in the 1970's with the Jefferson's on one episode; then moved on to cartoon writing and wrote The Mouseketeers At Walt Disney World in 1997. He also wrote the Smurfic Games which is basically the Smurfs doing the Olympics I guess since it was released during the 1984 Winter and Summer Olympics. Ducktales is his DTVA debut of course and he also wrote the English scripts for the Spider Riders. So blame him for that show existing and getting over. Patsy Cameron (Disney credits misspells her as Patty; what a shock?) is actually married to Tedd Anasti and has done basically the same kind of writing with Tedd including Spider Riders. Except for the Kwicky Koala Show and the television series Casper and the Angels.
The animation is done by TMS; which should be a constant for most of the season from 1987-1989; with the exception of a few episodes in between; and of course the rest was done by Wang Films/Cuckoo Studios combination. I believe they started the animation by committee episodes in the 1990 episodes. Unless I find an episode that requires a change from TMS or Wang Films; then I won't mention this again. This means the “Now you know you are watching a classic!” joke is gone from the list.
Opening Moment #1: Before TaleSpin was considered one of the most delightful themes ever assembled; the Ducktales one was the king of the opening themes without question. And if you take out the duck references and replace it with TaleSpin references; you couldn't tell the difference between the two. That's why people thought TaleSpin was a Ducktales wannabe. By the way; there are some really awesome spots in the opening sequence including:
(A.) “To solve a mystery....or
rewrite history!”. HAHA! David Barton would be proud of this
cartoon; and I mean this in the nicest way possible. David Barton is
that guy who is trying to re-write history to frame America as a
Christian Nation for those who know about him.
(B.) Huey Duck gets the nod as the ONLY child character to shoot a gun in DTVA history; although if BS&P wasn't such a bitch and Ted/jb's rumors were true we would have seen Kit Cloudkicker shoot a bullet shooting gun once. I would have LOVED to see that even with the lawsuits that would soon follow. Funny how that works; since Kit and Molly have been threatened with bullet shooting guns before in TaleSpin.
(C.) We've seen Fonzie jump the shark (along with Scooby Doo and Ron Possible); I've seen Mister T cold cock a shark (from the animated series; god bless Albert Walker from Agony Booth) which let's face it is pretty awesome in itself. However; Webby trumps that to infinity by KISSING the shark. OH COME ON! You cannot tell me that wasn't a huge rib on Mister T.
(D.) There is nothing more perversely funny than Scrooge and the Beagle Boys throwing pies at each other.
(E.) The running sequence involving Scrooge and El Captain is AWESOME; almost movie like which will likely piss off feature a bit. Oh if they think this show is bad enough wait until 1990.....
(F.) The Construction Hockey Robot Players hi-fiving each other.
(G.) The ultra funny veiled taxman reference: Scrooge McDuck tries to grab the dollar in space while Gyro tries to save him and Scrooge almost gets it; but the alien scoots in and steals it like the IRS on speed. HAHA! Scrooge's expression is just priceless on that one.
(H.) The tiger hugging the nephews is CUTE!
(I.) “No cotton tales?”- I think someone has a personal grudge against Bugs Bunny here.
(J.) The beginning with Scrooge McDuck getting swamped by a golden coin wave is ALL you need to know about Ducktales.
Sadly; Disney Captions is already screwing up left and right (what a shock?!) as the Woo-Hoo is Hoo-hoo?! Oh boy; I'm going to have fun with this show; I can see it now....
Title Card Moment #1: This episode's title is called “Don't Give Up The Ship” which shows the obvious differences between the Golden Suns pilot and the Plunder and Lightning pilot since P&L do not use the subtitles for their parts in syndication; they just use Part one, two etc....
We officially begin Ducktales with a Winnie The Pooh like forest scene where we are close to a town named Duckberg. We know this because there is a wooden sign in black sign pointing us towards the city. We then pan to the shot of the city east ward as Alan Young's voice beckons as he is singing Old MacDonald on his money bin and it just doesn't sound as funny as Dumptruck's. Must be the Swedish accent creating such a bias for me. I like the music though as we zoom northeast toward Scrooge's Money Bin. We know this because it looks like a family friendly maximum security prison with a huge dollar sign painted on front. Trust me; that is truly shows where Fenton Crackshell got his vanity from; and Scrooge doesn't even have much of that. So we cut to inside the vault has he is laughing because we are inside the SWIMMING POOL OF GOLD COINS which Mr. Hardcore uses to smear Nintendo and Mr. Iwata every time Nintendo makes $2.7 billion in profits. I see Scrooge's net worth is $70 billion judging by the big ass ruler he is using on the far left of the screen. We zoom out and see Scrooge on the railing in his black/red striped swim gear which for him makes him look look like a badass; if only the eyeglasses didn't negate the effect somewhat; because it's swimming time.
Welcome to the whacky world of Scrooge McDuck and his adventures where only he can dive into gold coins and swim into them like water while everyone else must obey the LAW OF HEAVY METALS. You know something; the more I see Nintendo succeed; the more I like Scrooge McDuck; because they are basically one in the same. They both have their faults in their eras; but they have their charm in that they are rich and still can be really good babyfaces in spite of that fact. That mostly because as you will see; the writers decided to focus on Scrooge as an rich adventurer and not Scrooge as a rich greedy guts out to screw people's money. In fact; that is what most of the heels do to HIM. Sadly; if Scrooge were created today, he would be a total heel because BS&P would never understand the focus of Scrooge. They focus on trends; not on stories. Personally; I would make him into a tweener and balance out his character and make him more closer to the Carl Bark's character he was supposed to be and that would have pleased BS&P a little more. Of course; Ducktales critics forget that the Carl Bark's version of Scrooge McDuck had to be toned down quite a bit as well which just goes to show you that when customers talks; you have to tone down the artist in you sometimes.
As for Alan Young; he is one of the oldest voice actors to still be doing the job (albeit typecasting as Scrooge McDuck of course) and still be alive today. He started in a few movies in the late 1940's (Margie, Chicken Every Sunday, Mr. Belvedere Goes to College), then got his own show called the Alan Young Show in 1950, he was Wilbur Post in Mister Ed, and then got into voice acting with Battle of the Planets (G-Force (the Japanese cartoon; not the recent Disney movie)). His Disney debut actually was in 1983 with the Christmas special: Mickey's Christmas Carol as Ebenezer Scrooge and if you cannot name the character who plays him; then you have no business reading this rant. He also did The Great Mouse Detective and this is his DTVA debut as a typecast character. Believe it or not; he did do a non-typecast character, but I won't give that surprise away just yet because it does have a connection with another Disney series. Alan's last credit is the Disney THINK Fast Video Game from last year by the way. He dives in and swims like Bugs Bunny on drugs and throws coins on his head. And the hardcore keep using this to smear Nintendo's good name. All they are doing is making Scrooge and Nintendo look like bigger babyfaces and hardcore look like bigger heels. You're not fooling anyone Mr. Hardcore.
Then we get the weakest beeping sound in the land (you would think with all that money; Scrooge would invest in a beeper than didn't suck. Oh well...) and he grabs it out of his bathing suit. Be thankful Scrooge isn't female; or BS&P would be all over Magon's ass. He opens his wrist watch and is shows a cash register opening and closing on the alarm at nine o'clock. Okay; that a wee bit overkill there Scroogie. You had me with the awesome swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE there (curse me kilts!). If you didn't guess by now; Scrooge is Scottish and he hammers the point home in this series until we get so tired of it anyone using it in other series; we simply want to MURDER. No wonder Willie was so unlikable in The Simpsons. And that was probably intentional. Oh; and Scrooge is late for a very important date too and he dives underneath and he comes up in his regular clothes which is his top hat, blue suit with red collar and red shin guards. That I'm calling logic break #1 for the episode; albeit a cute one only because it's Scrooge and it's only possible with him doing it. But; how did he hide his clothes in the swimming pool? Scrooge climbs the golden ladder of success and runs out of the vault...Not quite as he goes over to the railing and pops his ears to pop a golden coin from his other ear because we cannot waste any MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH now can we?! Well; you got to spend in reality in this global world so this makes Scrooge into a babyface; in 1987 this would be heelish. See how context of finances changes your world view on things?
So now we get the scene changer as we see Scrooge walking on the sidewalk (around a street that looks very similar to TaleSpin's only less modern) with bells dingling around as a dogsperson lady from the Salvation Army of Dogspeople wearing a purple skirt, a white shirt and a purple hat with a medal asking for a penny for the poor. Scrooge appears so pissed off of something. I guess the bell sound violates some sort of noise by-law in Duckberg. Wonder if Scrooge has something to do with such laws? Scrooge just blows her off and walks off saying it's not worth it. Okay; he's finally got his heel heat back. Sort of. We then see Scrooge walk over to the produce store as a pig furry wearing a purple shirt and white gloves with a gray perm showing off cheese samples. She asks if he cares for a sample and Scrooge blows her off and walks away with his cane on like an army guy. She then proclaims that the samples are free. I betcha Scrooge comes back and takes them all...I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good. Memo to cheese sample lady: NEVER say; take more than one. You have no one to blame but yourself for that one.
Scrooge takes the cheese and leaves making sure to stuff them in his hat. Well; Monty can eat an entire truck load of cheese; so this is reasonable by DTVA standards. We cut to a shot of the banana yellow clock and it reads 9:15 in roman numbers. And Al Khan has a heart attack seeing that...and I have one too from the Gedo fashion sense this clock tower builder has. Scrooge realizes that he'll never make it unless he gulps and spends that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH on a taxi. See, Scrooge doesn't like to be a slave to ANYONE. He wants them to be HIS slave. And people wonder why he is such a heel? He calls for a taxi and none comes; so he goes to the payphone of doom and it's so modern which indicates that this show also takes place in it's own universe like TaleSpin does and thus disowns itself despite the fact that TaleSpin was supposed to be a spinoff of Ducktales. He takes a coin out of the return slot (someone must really be sloppy to think that is useless) and nothing comes out of it.
So we cut to so horn blowing as we head to the sea docks and sea gulls wailing as we pan left to a dock as Donald Duck (wearing a navy shirt and hat) address his three nephews wearing their classic shirts and hats and they show more energy in one second than the Quack Pack nephews did in one episode. Donald Duck is going to the FCC NAVY OF CHARACTER SLAUGHTERING (oh boy; Chris..will..kill...me...!) in order to reform himself (IE: Disney killing his temper even more to please the 700 Club.) and he wants the nephews to not screw their Uncle Scrooge like they do to him. Considering that Scrooge doesn't have the temper Donald has; I think the nephews will show respect to him Donald; don't worry about it. You should be fearful of what the.....DUM...DUM...DUM... FCC NAVY is going to do to YOU! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Huey complains that he is so cheap and if you listen closely you can hear Quack Pack Huey whining all the way to the bank. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Now the Ducktales nephews are sort of the in between nephews in that the they caused less mischief than the old ones; but they made up for it by at being more like characters even though Huey, Dewey and Louie were basically one in the same character. In fact that shared the same voice. In 1987; Heuy, Dewey and Louie were basically the second best characters by default as Cubbi Gummi was the undisputed best child character in the world. And it was like this for years until Kit Cloudkicker and Molly Cunningham basically MURDERED everyone doing three different things: (a) having fatal flaws (b) having children voice them © knowing how to act. Thank you Ginny McSwain for learning your lessons well. Now Donald Duck you already know from Quack Pack; the Ducktales nephews are voiced by Russi Taylor (as well as the Salvation Army lady and the cheese sample lady from earlier) who was married to Mickey Mouse star Wayne Allwine until his recent death and she is the voice of Minnie Mouse as well. She is also Martin Prince in The Simpsons and does mostly animation roles mostly Disney as Minnie, the Nephews (original) and sometimes Daisy Duck. This is her DTVA debut; although some would easily point to Sports Goofy in Soccermania a year before this as the debut. She has done non-typecast roles in DTVA; in TaleSpin she was John Dee Rockafeather in My Fair Baloo. The one where Rebecca said the word screw for the first time on a children's show.
Donald admits that he is but he is family and I'll take his word for it because if I try to do mallard family relationships with Donald Duck/Scrooge McDuck comics; my brain will fry on cue faster than anything said by Michael Pacther. It's worse than Samonan relationships; trust me on that one. Then we get logic break #2 for the episode as Donald tells Louie not to back talk on Scrooge and Dewey is the one who sells it. Wouldn't it hurt for BS&P to change one word so that it would make sense here. Even Plunder and Lightning didn't make THAT mistake. And then when Donald tells Dewey no more spitballs; he's addressing Louie. Oh; great, they ARE going to RUIN the CHALLENGE for Plunder and Lightning's crown barely two minutes in?! Even the movie version of P&L didn't make this kind of mistake. Louie sells it anyway as Donald wants a big hug as the dramatic music beckons. This scene would have been pretty good if the writers didn't SCREW up the addressing of the kids here. Dewey is in blue and Louie is in green. It's always been like this for DECADES! How could the writers SCREW this up?!
I do love the dramatic oversell of the hug though; so the logic breaks are minor, but considering that they are competing against Plunder and Lightning they cannot afford to be making such mistakes early on. And then we hear the car and Heuy instantly blows off Scrooge again and thus the promise of no back talk is broken barely five seconds in. Okay; I know he is supposed to not back talk against Scrooge; but still. He calls him spendthrift which somehow sounds funnier now than it did in 1987 for some reason. So we cut over to the road as Scrooge is blowing off the dogsperson giving him $2 and calling him a mercenary. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. The taxi driver than starts complaining because he wants a tip while wearing a red shirt and an orange cap. Scrooge gives him one as he opens his hat; and throws some cheese cubes at him, blows him off and storms off. HAHA! That was so cheesy; but that was good cheese. Scrooge better be careful because if he's trying to be a heel in front of the nephews; things like that are going to turn him babyface with me.
Scrooge walks over and then starts blowing off Donald Duck's idea because there's no profit and all they are doing is leaking out his character. Okay; he didn't say that, but it is implied. Donald states that he has made up his mind and he wants to see the world. I betcha that is how religious groups do it too right?! And considering how Donald ended up in Quack Pack and in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse; this is not going to end well for him heat wise. Scrooge gleefully answers that one for me because he'll buy him a globe. Somehow I think Scrooge just doesn't want the nephews around because they are a pain in the ass judging by that evil look of his. Too bad he drawing more and more babyface heat in my eyes the more I see him. Or is that really a bad thing for him? The motor starts and Donald has to go and he tells them to take care of the nephews while shaking hands violently which probably indicates that he is doing this to get rid of them for his own benefit (what a shock knowing him from the Donald Duck shorts from Disney?) I think the smoking short is the reason why this is happening of course since Donald Duck was stupid enough to think his nephews were smoking cigars and so he forced them to smoke them in a fit of rage only to find out that they were for him and he went smaller than a germ. This is why he's going to the FCC NAVY of course.
The whole see the world thing is denial of the obvious for Donald to make the thing less painful. Donald grabs his duffle bag and throws it overboard; but it grabs him and he goes flying and takes a MAN-SIZED bump off-screen. HAHA! I love it was TMS gets it right. Scrooge blows him off asking what he did to deserve this. Better question would be: What did Donald do to screw you into getting saddled with these juveniles? Answer: Ask the judge in the case Vs. Donald Duck where he was accused of child abused using cigars to smoke them as a form of behavior correction. I believe the case is shown on the Smearinggun.com website. We see Donald is all right as he sqaushed the white navy officer flatter than a white sheet on the wheel control as the boat sails away. HAHA! Donald waves goodbye proclaiming that Scrooge is the only one that he can trust to take care of the nephews. Wow! Donald admitting that he cannot do it himself. Now you know Uncle Donald is on the road to recovery. Too bad it is going to make him a lot less funny. Scrooge shows disdain as he is lucky. Boy if Kit Cloudkicker were around; this would be a million times worse for Scrooge. The nephews blow him off even better. This is going to be fun; I can just see that now as Scrooge proclaims that we should head for home. Louie turns around to get a taxi; but Scrooge uses the cane to stop him because it's only a three mile walk to the house see. HAHA! Well; I don't blame Scrooge for that. After all; why should be give a taxi driver another tip anyway? When the driver isn't going to show any fashion sense not to clash crimson red with orange. And then they'll have some lunch with the cheese he swiped from the cheese stand. See; make the joke and pay it off. Although sometimes even in Ducktales; they failed to do that as we'll see in later episodes...and then it took another series to pay the joke off for them. I'll explain that when we get there. The nephews shrug and grab their stuff and nothing further comes out of it. If this were today; they would be whining to the gills.
So we cut to a shot at what will be Scrooge McDuck's Home Away from the Real Home (AKA: The Money Bin). We know this because it has a fountain and it looks like something that the writers would recycle for TaleSpin for the episode: The Balooest of Bluebloods. I wondered what the connection between the two series was and as you will see; it wasn't JUST Launchpad. Scrooge goes over to the door and knocks on it with the cane and it opens to reveal a dogspeople butler wearing a butler suit and he's balding with white hair and looks like Mr. Jeeves. This is Duckworth; the usually unemotional butler (until someone screws him and then all bets are off) who is Scrooge's servant of the house DUH! Change the face to a badger; change his name to Hans and he would be the evil butler from The Balooest of Bluebloods. Also change Chuck McCann's voice to the late Stan Jones; almost forgot. You already know Chuck McCann from the Plunder and Lightning re-rant so let's move on. Scrooge tells Duckworth to carry the suitcases to the room prepared for the nephews and he sells without question without any emotion. I don't have any strong comments on him yet as the nephews walk in in awe as they think it is a palace. Somehow I like Cape Suzette better; but then again; this is a story arc and not a free television movie so it all will balance out in the end; I'm sure of it.
Louie thinks this is all great of course and then we cut to the attic as they get the WORSE ROOM IN THE HOUSE. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Keep the heel act up Scrooge and you'll keep turning babyface at this rate. And it's been three boring days and it's mega-pits since they haven't been allowed to do anything but watch television on a bad television screen. Well; the room isn't half bad, so I think these nephews are spoiled. Kit Cloudkicker would call this paradise. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Nice animation on the flip flopping of web feet from Dewey from TMS as Huey is standing on the wooden chair blowing off Scrooge for putting them in the attic despite having 75 rooms in the place. That gives new meaning to the phrase: Not seen and not heard. We get a good shot of the launchpad (no relation to the goofy pilot of course) and it's painted with a red dollar sign of course) as we cut to Dewey sitting down looking better as Duckworth rises from the grave..ERRR...I mean stairs with the silver patter under dome and even the top has a golden dollar sign just to overkill the whole greed thing. Geez; Nightflight is looking more and more like the paranoid freak that he is the more I see this episode now.
They ask him about Scrooge and Duckworth proclaims that he is a very busy man and he stammers on the master part since the nephews didn't have the gratitude to tell him their names; or Scrooge never gave them the chance. Pick your poison depending on your views on finances. Dewey takes offense of this which means I'm on Scrooge's side as Duckworth explains that he's in charge of them on Scrooge's orders. Sounds fair to me since Donald's orders were not to backtalk on Scrooge so Duckworth is fair game. Huey of course takes full advantage of that fact as he blows Duckworth off as Duckworth takes it well (he's the Lurch of Ducktales; what did you expect?). Duckworth has something for them and I would not be accepting gifts from him and the nephews threaten to riot if they are cheese samples. So they are to blame for RVD winning the WWE from John Cena at One Night Stand? It all makes sense now. Those ECW fans watch this show. Duckworth blows them off; getting off religious reference #1 for the episode and the series (pray) and talks around them like he owns them. Oh wait; he does, so it makes perfect sense. He opens the lid and it's a letter from Donald Duck complete with blue stamp. Oh; this should be fun for me to mock. And of course the nephews fight over it and Dewey wins that one on the rebound. Well; that one was quick as Duckworth blows them off and walks downstairs. So we another cut and we see the nephews kneeling down with the open letter and of course; the nephews can read pretty well as Donald proclaims his story as we go to the flashback. Oh; this should be fun....
So we go to a cartoonish version of Top Gun as Donald proclaims that the FCC NAVY is exciting. Umm; I thought Donald was in the navy; not the Air Force? Then again; I wouldn't expect Hollywood writers to understand the difference anyway; so let's move on and humor me for the sake of humoring that this is just Donald teaching Monty how to do a BS story. Which sadly was one of the few things Monty could do right. The airplane lands on the landing strip of the FCC NAVY ship as we look up and see Donald Duck washing the side of the ship in the BUCKET OF WASHING HEAT AWAY. I see the brainwashing has already started for him. Sadly; the steel bucket falls off and lands right down on the Admiral's head (check the blue uniform suit, black shoes; blue hat and golden shoulder pads). And then we get another logic break (#3 for the episode) as Donald calls him Admiral Clemens. Ummm; sorry Donald. But his real name is Admiral Grimitiz and has always been. Why did Plunder and Lightning get 125 edits; but no one do a CONTINUITY check on this pilot?!
He's also with his second in command who is in white navy clothes and a blue ribbon which is the pride and joy of all FCC NAVY brainwashing. And they are all dogspeople in case you cared; just like Duckworth. Oh wait; it's Disney Captions making the mistake, as Huey addresses him as Grimitiz; but Caption has him as Clemons. Oh man; that makes Wily Paul look good in comparison guys. Grimitiz apparently has taken a personal interest in Donald Duck and apparently has assigned him to do some jet-fighter work. Well; not really. What Grimitiz really wants him to do is swap the deck and then eat the flames the jet engine while standing behind it while cleaning. I think Colonel Slammer and Grimitiz might have been exchanging notes with each other somewhere along the lines. Donald of course looks in the back of the jet engine and gets flamed. HAHA! Hmmmm...fried duck...SLURP! The flashback is over as the nephews read that Donald wishes them all and he will write to them soon. Okay; there is no way Donald could be Monty's teacher. That story is way too plausible to be BS. I think the FCC NAVY is better off not censoring Donald's letters. So that gets the nephews inspired and they start making airplane sounds and exit the area.
That logically leads to the scene changer as we head to the piano room as Louie is pushing Dewey with the cart while making engine sounds. I'm sorry guys; but I love Kit's version better with Molly on his back. No cart needed; and Molly is more convincing as a child anyway. Huey is on the table with the table tennis paddles with his hat on backwards (you wish you were Kit pal; although I'll take you over QP Huey anyday.) and judging by the vases in the background; I smell some smashing vases about to commence. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good as Huey runs off and we cut to Scrooge in the finance room checking his stock records and there is a huge crash. HAHA! Scrooge knows it is the nephews; but he doesn't want to go inside and blow them off (why? That would be fun to watch actually); so he's going to the money bin for peace and quiet. So the chaos and mayhem MUST CONTINUE! Huey is at the window and sees the green curtains and he needs landing cables. Huey then see Scrooge leaving and now they want to talk to him and they walk down the stairs towards the door and Duckworth stops him. Oh come on you prude! I want the fireworks to begin NOW! Duckworth tells them that Scrooge left strict orders and the nephews get that evil look on their faces.
So we go to the Money Bin and we see Scrooge going in through the front door below the hill with the nephews following him. HUH?! How did they get past Duckworth?! I don't get that one at all. Logic break #3 for the episode as we head inside the accounting area (which has green bricks) and we hear the worst whistling I have ever heard in my life as we see various dogspeople reading the newspaper and doing nothing....AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! So the offender so happens to be a greasy haired dogsperson wearing a blue suit and red tie reading a newspaper on the desk and Scrooge stops at the desk and blows him off for whistling while working. I agree; if he's going to whistle that badly; then he should cut the act out. The employee stammers like Honker because he wasn't working. Self Inflicted BUSTING is not a pretty sight folks! Huey pulls on the suit and tells Scrooge to lighten up. Why? The man's whistling sucks; I say YOU'RE FIRED BUSTER!!
And now Scrooge is pissed because the nephews are in his life again as the nephews explains that they miss him. Awww; that pose is so cute; and this is why Quack Pack was such a BAD idea. Scrooge takes offense at it because he think they threw something at him and Huey corrects him because they miss seeing him. Scrooge then asks what happened to Duckworth and the nephews proclaimed that he got tied up and we cut back to inside the house as Duckworth is wrapped up by a red rug. Logic Break #3 is popped out of the episode. Good for you Jymn Magon! Duckworth proclaims that this is going to delay dinner. I think this going to delay his paycheck if you catch my drift too. So we head back to the office as Scrooge recoils and decides to let them stay on the condition that they don't touch anything. The nephews get giddy and they run like roadsters as Scrooge McDuck eats their dust. Okay; there is logic break #3 for the episode since there was no dust in the office of course. But then again; cartoon fuzzy logic and all that. So we logically head to....
Inside the vault as the “Don't touch anything rule” is broken about three seconds in as the nephews are fishing for dollars. And unlike Feats of Clay; Scrooge is going to be REALLY PISSED OFF at it; I just know it. I check the DVD...Damn; I'm good. Scrooge is PISSED at all this as the nephews defend themselves because they weren't going to steal it or anything. Riiiigggghhhttttt. After all; you guys already have enough reason to blow this guy off for treating you like dirt even though Scrooge has been quite reasonable. Maybe it's because of Kit Cloudkicker that the nephews just look like rotten spoiled brats in comparison. At least these nephews perform really well compared to the Quack Pack ones where they would push the crappy button whenever they saw fit. Scrooge blows them off because money is to be taken seriously and with one line Scrooge just turned babyface for life. Sorry; but no matter how heelish he gets, he cannot be taken seriously as a heel anymore. Which is a good thing thank you. Scrooge asks him if Donald taught them anything. The nephews run down the following: Play ball, cross the street, how to avoid strangers, and how to smoke cigars. OH COME ON! I know they didn't say that; but you knew that one was coming. Disney can blackball that episode until the world ends; but NO ONE is fooled (anti-smoking groups most of all) that Donald Duck forced his nephews to smoke in a way to punish them for buying cigar for themselves (well; in his mind at least). The nephews decide to storm off on their own accord as Scrooge blows them off because he would rather face the Beagle Boys than those three. Personally; I don't think Scrooge would want to face the Air Pirate; nor Kit Cloudkicker if they EVER existed...because his brain would explode. I know Michael Eisner's almost did.
So we head to jail and inside a jail cell as three dogspeople dressed up in the same gear (green hat, black masks, red shirts, blue pants, brown shoes) are doing jail things like reading (just to piss Al Khan off); counting days on the wall with chalk and sleeping on the bed. If you thought the mallard family relationships are confusing; try figuring out the Beagle Boy names; besides Ma Beagle of course. I could NEVER get them straight and I don't think I going to here in this series. The Air Pirates were much easier to figure out. Beagle Boy #1 (we'll call him Chalk Boy until we get him his official name- the pitfalls of ranting on episodes cold.) proclaims that they hit Scrooge's Money bin 299 times which is the number of times they have been arrested. Why isn't there a life sentence in this world? Or worse; a death sentence? It's not like death isn't allowed in Disney anyway. Beagle Boy #2 (we'll call him Sleeping Boy) proclaims that 300 is the charm. I guess so; does that mean that they get an “Out of Jail Free Card” with that break in? AHHAHAHAHAHA! Beagle Boy #3 (We'll call him Khan Whizzer Boy.) deduces that they need to get out of here. NO?! REALLY?! And here comes the dumb police guard (Jim Cummings) with the JOKEY SURPRISE OF DOOM which is something to sweeten your disposition. Oh boy!
After 299 attempts; you would think that..Oh wait; it's the beginning of the LAW OF DTVA which is that the police force is more stupid than everyone else; including the heels. He flops the present on the floor and Al Khan Whizzer Boy jumps and opens the present to reveal Bonbons which are chocolate covered bombs. I see someone was watching Roddy Piper's Halloween promo on Saturday Night's Main Event. Al Khan Whizzer Boy eats the bomb (HOLY CRAP!) and the bomb explodes and someone he lives. SOMEONE FIRE THAT BOMB! Chalk Boy thanks them as he covers Burger Beagle's mouth (Chuck McCann) because those are bombs. NO?! REALLY?! Burger tells Big Time Beagle (Frank Welker the animal voice god) that there is a note inside as he takes the white piece of paper and Big Time Beagle reads it. Use them to escape tonight and then meet someone at the L'Orange Theater. Since Orange means the same in English and French; that's perfectly all right with me. Although; Disney Captions screws up since Big Time sezs something that sounds like Oklahoma Theater or something. And it's signed El Captain. Ah; that weasel is going to fun to watch; I swear on my bloody honor. Big Time grabs a Boom-Boom (his words, not mine) and he proclaims that likes his style. So do I actually....
So we head back to Scrooge's office which is next to the vault by the way and looks like the White House; only with the golden dollar sign on the front of the desk. Scrooge is still whining about the nephews and about the expense of boarding schools. If he thinks it's bad now; wait until 2009. Scrooge proclaims that he needs someone to cheer him up so he tells them to send in the CLOWNS..ERRR...I mean...victims for Scrooge to browbeat. Good enough. This should be fun as victim #1 is a pig fury (second pig furry already in this series by the way) wearing a brown suit, pants, shoes and a white shirt with a white spotted red bowtie that doesn't take pictures. That fact alone should be enough for Scrooge to browbeat him; but we overkill it because he is from the Retired Panhandlers of America. Which shows that that TaleSpin and Ducktales do not take place in the same world despite the fact that TaleSpin was going to be a Ducktales spinoff. Live with it Cartoon Duck Syndrome fans. The panhandler president (Frank Welker) wants Scrooge to contribute and Scrooge casually sezs no and pushes the blue button of doom on his gray device and the trap door opens and the pig is REJECTED! Should have sold him a bow tie camera; he might have taken the bait there.
Scrooge laughs at his expense (and with that bow tie; who WOULDN'T?) and calls in victim #2 as a duck wearing gray with a black tie and red mustache with glasses wants Scrooge to spare him something. He's even lamer than the first guy; so Scrooge sics the garden hose on him! And he is hosed out of the office! HAHA! Scrooge laughs it up and I agree with this; these clowns are so lame! It's cruel; but it's accurate. Context people, context. Victim #3 comes in as a blue uniform scout trooper duck with various badges and blue pants and a furry scout hat. This would be the Junior Woodchuck Scout Recruiter and Scrooge of course makes the fatal error of pushing the dreaded XBOX 360 neon green button of death (because that will make you lose $6 billion in profits see) as the CRIMSON RED HANDS OF DOOM grab the scout recruiter as he explains that he's here to recruit boys to collect badges and keep them out of trouble. Not unlike Pokemon; minus the trouble part. And make it double. Yeah; I resorted to lame Team Rocket jokes; so shoot me. The recruiter is voiced by Stanley Wojno Jr. who got into a few movies in the 1970's like False Face, The Hunter and Drop Out Father and then went to television to do voice acting and doing nothing of note other than Lifeline in G.I. Joe before passing away in 1993. Needless to say; this was is first and only DTVA appearance. Scrooge is about to throw him out the window and has him out the window; but doesn't drop him as he wants the recruiter to tell him more. Man; Scrooge is trying hard to get them out of his hair so to speak....
So we cut to inside Scrooge's house as the nephews notice a museum with a door and a white sign pointing an arrow towards the left. Okay; This must be the L'Orange Theater which must be a logic break on the writers part. Evidence #1: There's a cinema like booth to the far right side to pay for tickets and a chain barrier next to it along the floor. The nephews want to check it out which is something the Quack Packers would NEVER do; they would be back home flicking forks in the ceiling whining that there is nothing to do. They enter inside and it's just another room full of junk featuring Scrooge's wooden sailboat of doom which somehow is going to get involved in this big adventure of some kind. The nephews mope around and then they notice the wooden sailboat on the stone column and think this would be good for Donald Duck to have a present for. UH OH! I do not like where this is going as we cut back to the office as the recruiter continuing to butter up Scrooge who is STILL being grabbed by that thing the entire time. And if you listen closely you can hear Mr. Fat and Gadget BE JEALOUS! AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! POW! OUCH! OUCH! Ummmm... He opens the suitcase to reveal the Junior Woodchuck guidebook; or the debut of the LIBERAL BOOK OF RED LIES THE KIDS EDITION~! AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Barks fans just don't know their place. And of course the alarm sounds and he tells the guy to bill him and the recruiter gets thrown out anyway allowing him to thank him. Well; how generous of Scrooge to allow him to get to the bottom floor quickly; despite the lawsuits that I'm sure will follow.
Scrooge then brings out his blunderbuss (UH OH! I don't like where this is going!) and runs into the museum of doom and catches the nephews red handed as the nephews get blindsided by the blunderbuss of death and the TRIPLET LADDER OF DOOM sways which signals danger for the wooden ship model as it slips out of Dewey's hands and Scrooge drops the gun (because that is what it was) and grabs the boat just in time in a leap of faith. Whew that was close; we almost had a F'N gun pointed at a child...Although TaleSpin then said screw you to BS&P and allowed Kit and Molly to get shot at almost at will; Kit even got shot at once every time during the opening. Scrooge is mad because he told them...NO TOUCHING!! And that is why Wu from Quack Pack looks SOOOOOOO weak now. Huey proclaims that he was going to send the boat to Donald Duck. So Huey admitted that he was going to STEAL from Scrooge? You just made Scrooge look like a even bigger babyface now. Scrooge blows that off because it's not junky; it's priceless. Ummm; Scrooge; it's not just that...it's because they were STEALING it from you. And then he tell them that they are grounded until further notice. Huh?! Didn't Scrooge ground them from the start?! Whatever as the nephew feel bad about this and nothing comes out of it. So we head back to the jail cell wall as the Bom-Boms are planted on the wall and Al Khan Whizzer whines about having one and Big Time blows him off. Memo to Disney Captions Burger is Sleeping Boy. Big Time strikes the match and the explosion hits but we don't see the damage at all (Stupid TMS!). The alarm wails as the Beagle Boys exit the ground anyway....
Post-Production Glitch #1: Half second black slug. Funny how Plunder & Lightning never had one to the best of my knowledge in the entire production except for commercial breaks.
After the commercial break; we cut to inside the L'Orange Theater (which is abandoned and broken down into a lot of pieces by the way) as the Beagle Boys look around and Burger proclaims that this place gives him the creeps. Coward sezs I as Big Time wants El Captain and he arrives in his trench coat calling them caballeros. If you didn't notice; El Captain is Spanish for The Captain and he is a Spanish stereotype, DUH! Although; he's a lot less offensive than El Gato was in TaleSpin that's for sure. He's currently wearing the trench coat (with brown Mickey Mouse gloves and he has the black mustache, shady eyes and black Pluto nose) and is a dogsperson like about 60% of the Ducktales characters in this series. He is voiced by Jim Cummings which you already know from my TaleSpin rants so let's move on. Big Time asks why they were sprung from prison (I would also ask why the Bom-Bom didn't do any damage; but whatever) and El Captain wants them because they are experts on Scrooge's money bin. He wants them to steal something from Scrooge and it's more valuable than three acres of gold coins: a small wooden ship as the segment ends for real a little more than 11 minutes in. Okay; this has been a really good episode thus far; but if Golden Suns wants the title, they are going to have to be mistake free from here on out....
After the commercial break; we go to the shot of Scrooge's House Away from Home as we have a lighted window and we cut in to see Scrooge blowing off Donald and the nephews for being such troublesome brats. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Nice swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (Curse their feathers!) too from Scrooge. I guess Sean Malstrom does have some effect on me after all. He walks around a coffee table as Duckworth agrees with him holding a towel. And of course we see the nephews spying on the two like a bunch of peeping toms as Scrooge really rants on them calling them little beast as that heel heat is coming back to him. The nephews proclaim that Scrooge doesn't want them and they storm out with their bags in tow as we cut back to Scrooge getting a bath from Duckworth which is a wee bit disturbing and even the bathing suit isn't helping him as Scrooge has to admit that he's projecting himself into them. Because that's the worst part of this whole thing. Scrooge proclaims (while putting on the blue robe) that he handled them wrong and he'll make it up to them tomorrow morning. Huh?! That makes no sense to me. I thought Scrooge handled everything well; and just got carried away. This to me looks like a cop out. I know I compare Plunder and Lightning a lot; but Baloo didn't change his mind about Kit leaving until Kit got himself caught by Don Karnage and was inches away from being sliced in half by Don's cutlass. And Baloo was also in the wrong even though Kit was the one who apologized (and really; he showed some balls for doing it right!). I felt that was handled masterfully. This seems to be handled a bit more sloppy.
So we cut to the nephews outside going on the sidewalk with their stuff saying that Donald will take them back as then they notice El Captain watching over Scrooge's Money Bin and the nephews think he is acting odd. NO?! REALLY?! As if the creepy face didn't give that away?! They notice a light inside the door of the Money Bin and the nephew sneak in and hide behind a wall. Somehow; this doesn't make sense because I'm certain El Captain would have spotted them easily by now; but I guess he's too drunk to notice. And yes; this plays an important role much later on. So we notice Big Time and Burger Beagle blowing off each other because they cannot find the wooden sailing boat and Big Time tells him to look everywhere. Which would be too much for the Quack Pack nephews showing that they are even lower on the over scale than the Beagle Boys. That is just peachy. Big Time forces the map onto Burger and Burger slips the flashlight which drops on Big Time's head in a neat bump as Huey proclaims that they need to get help. Umm; sure, yell out that, that should really get you out of there first! Burger shines the light on them and the nephews bail and it's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE TMS EDITION~! Dewey turns around the bend and sees some landing cables which so happens to be the fire hose locked in a glass case. The Beagle Boy calls them rug rats (sorry guys; real Rugrats are babies from Nickelodeon; unless they are All Grown Up of course) and they use the hose to trip up the heels.
And of course the heels are so dumb that they don't stop and trip up and cause a decent three punk landing off-screen. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Oh wait.. Big Time swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE about 15 times (Seriously! Dash-blast the gosh-darn blankety-hack! HAHA!) He should be lucky he didn't end up on bottom as they give chase again and we head into the museum and Huey calls for the human ladder again. They form it and Dewey grabs the ship again as it sets off the alarm again causing the Beagle Boys to panic. We cut to Scrooge in bed waking up hearing it and he panics and there is a break in the money bin and calls out for Duckworth and uncorks the blunderbuss again. Amazing how they have a bullet shooting gun and yet no firing it. By now; Plunder and Lightning would be up to 0.5 Trigun. Big Time is PISSED; so he goes over and does the DUMPTRUCK SCREW PUNCH OF DEATH and the thing was plastic all this time as it twisted in places it didn't know have places. And the alarm stops of course as Big Time wants the wooden ship. And he's PISSED and want to beat some children's faces in. Now THAT'S the spirit Big Time! The nephews try to escape; but the Beagle Boys grab them one at a time (despite some good football passing from Dewey to Louie) as Burger gets Louie and the ship. He can only be SO lucky. The Beagle Boys want to get out as we cut to outside as Scrooge's limo enters and Scrooge comes out with the blunderbuss and goes inside as he and the nephews have a meeting of the minds and we have mass confusion and Scrooge yells to stop that.
So we logically go back to the attic as Scrooge blows off the nephews for running away, breaking and entering and lying and stealing. The nephews try to defend themselves; but the map they hold which changes from a newspaper clipping to a real map (first TMS mistake of the series by the way) keeps incriminating them. Scrooge blows them off and decides to storm off for the candy and plops the Junior Woodchuck hats in front of them and decides that boarding school is not expensive after all. He slams the door just as Huey proclaims that they were only trying to help. Maybe it's time to stay well away from the money bin for a long while as Dewey notices something on the other side of the map which is an old theatrical flyer. It shows a dancer in a blue inflatable tube as Louie comments on the L'Orange theater closing for years. I wonder why? It couldn't be the inflatable tube she's wearing no siree. They deduce that this must be the Beagle Boys Hideout and now they will use the LIBERAL BOOK OF RED LIES to prove that that are not rotten spoiled brats. Sorry nephews; but that book isn't going to help you when Kit Cloudkicker already set the standard. But the thought is certainly there; which is good enough for 1987 and that's all that counts as we cut to the nephews with their goofy Junior Woodchuck hats on (I wouldn't catch Kit DEAD with those on) as the nephews start doing work on being resourceful. Now I know people use this as a point to prove that they are better than Kit Cloudkicker except that Kit doesn't need two characters to do the work. He can do it by himself. And can the nephews fly a plane? Can they cloud surf? Can they save a six year old from 20,000 feet? I could go on. And Kit doesn't need a book for ideas. He is pretty resourceful by himself. This is not a condemnation of the nephews (since they are a really resourceful bunch granted and I'll take them over the Quack Pack nephews anytime.); this is a condemnation of the critics of Kit Cloudkicker.
Huey checks the door and swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (rats!) because Duckworth is guarding the stairs. Dewey and Louie blow it off because there is a quicker way as they created a hand gilder for three out of skis. I wonder if the Junior Woodchucks worked with the Rescue Rangers and Gadget at one time. Well; there's one thing related to flying that they tried as they hop off the building with the hand gilder with the gayest yell I have ever heard (Gerainum!) and they do a pretty good job of it; but forget that flying is easy; landing is the hardest. Kit should know since he had trouble landing his Air Foil with more than one person (See Rebecca Save The Tiger/ Molly Mommy For a Day; It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck). Louie forgot to read that chapter (D'OH! Even Rebecca doesn't make THAT mistake!) and the hand gilder breaks up into pieces for no reason and they fall and bounce off the cloth roof and into the fountain with a resounding splash. Sorry; but Kit is much cooler than you guys since he did it hand over feet and with a baby. Huey calls this quicker and wetter. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.
So we head to the L'Orange Theater as Big Time, Burger and Al Khan Whizzer Beagle exchange notes on the situation on the stage on the table with El Captain at the table. El Captain wants the ship in exchange they get their freedom from prison which is pretty much a fair exchange to him. That sounds like a raw deal to me. This guy is thinking way too small considering that the ship is losing a map and a flyer. Big Time wants answers to this because he wants to know why it's so valuable because it's obvious this guy thinks way too small otherwise. Big Time wants him to talk; and he uncorks a lighted match to force the point. If that isn't cut by Toon Disney than that proves Michael Eisner was burying TaleSpin without question. And El Captain gives in telling them that there is a map that leads to sunken treasure; a ship filled with oro...gold of course. However; it is in code and it's worthless to those mental midgets like the Beagle Boys. Okay; that is pretty accurate as the nephews practice the fine art of not being seen; but those goofy woodchuck hats are going to blow their cover at some point; I just know it. The nephews get behind the back wall of the stage which is placed near the conveniently placed rope which Louie unties and that causes the WEIGHT OF DAMNATION to fall and break the table and the ship goes flying and the nephews get it back. Who? Who cares? They are the same character basically. Burger and Al Khan Whizzer try to blitz Dewey (I think) but the brick wall stop them dead in their tracks complete with MAN-SIZED bumps. Now that's the spirit Beagle Boys! Be the bump machine as the nephews try to bail; but El Captain stops them with a chair and the wine bottle. Okay; this is turning into a classic ECW match now, so this could be good as El Captain wants the ship or he'll play castanets on their empty heads. Okkkkkayyyy; as we end the segment sixteen and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we continue as El Captain backs up the nephews as he demands that they give him back the ship of course. I don't understand this since the map is already theirs and thus the ship is useless already. Unless Magon has something else planned knowing him. The Beagle Boys grab some curtains and rush them and throw the curtain on the nephews which looks to finish; but they go flat and the curtain reveals nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING. Big Time Beagle stomps his feet on the floor which naturally springs the conveniently placed trapdoor of doom and they go all Warner Brothers on us and fall into the celler basement below coughing on some wooden barrels to break their fall and their backs. Sadly; the bumps were wussy. The nephews are at the back door and apparently it's sealed shut as Huey asks how Dewey knew there was a trapdoor there. Dewey proclaims that he didn't as we get a shot of El Captain yelling that they are getting away. The door opens as the nephews bail out and it's morning for no reason as they climb up the metal stairs and El Captain yells like a whiner complaining that he cannot lose them again. He sounds like an old Peter Parker losing Mary Jane twice as the Beagle Boys notice the nephews climbing up onto the top of the roof of the L'Orange Theater as they wish Scrooge was here because he beat these turkey dozens of times. Personally; he wishes he could beat the crap out of you if child abuse was legal even if you guys don't suck at all. Then the nephews get inspired because Scrooge is at the candy factory right now so they bail as we head to....
….the candy factory and into the chocolate vat as Scrooge explains to a goofy glasses brown haired female television reporter (Russi Taylor) wearing a banana yellow shirt (BAD GEDO FASHION SENSE BEGONE FROM MY TELEVISION SCREEN!); green skirt and orange necktie; about the chocolate being enough for the size of his moneybin. She then asks about his wealth and Scrooge explains that he is smarter than they are and tougher than they are. If that means he is not emotional on the toughness part; I agree with him. Malstrom would be proud of him. And so we cut to the roof as the nephew dive into the chimney easily; and Burger tries it; but he is just TOO FAT. We cut back to Scrooge and the television reporter as Scrooge proclaims that he does it all legit and square see. And Mr. Hardcore sneers on cue as I laugh in their faces because we know it's true. Why else would they sneer? BE JEALOUS!! We then cut to El Captain walking up the metal stairs panting that they are getting away which shows that this guy needs Wii Fit; STAT!
So we head back inside as female reporter and Scrooge as female reporter proclaims that his family must be very proud of him. Scrooge is taken aback by this as the female reporter explains what that is and Scrooge stammers like an idiot. UH OH! Scrooge is screwed now because he is too busy to HAVE one. See; the whole point of this episode was to create the family bond with the nephews and Scrooge screwed it up. Problem is; I was rooting for Scrooge to not have it. Thankfully; the break in sealed the deal and made it work. The nephews then break all logic and reason by walking on the power lines!! NOW WAIT A MINUTE! Were they not inside the roof tube just a moment ago? Shouldn't they be on ground level? Logic break #4 for the episode and the first one I don't accept at all. And it makes no sense for ducks to step on power lines either. Female reporters keeps getting on his case about family and Scrooge keeps stammering as he is busy see. And then he realizes that without the nephews he is lonely and then he starts praising them. OH TAG Scrooge! At least wait for them to prove their innocence BEFORE you praise them!
So the nephews are on the power lines as the Beagle Boys give chase and Beagle Boy snaps the line and waves it as the nephews lose their balance and are seriously (insert swear word here) as Scrooge pours on the praise as Big Time Beagle's plan back fires and the nephews do the Tarzan spot as Scrooge proclaims that he wishes that they are here so Scrooge can meet them and here comes the nephew as the glass shatters and it's STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD. Ooops; wrong show....and that had to smart despite no blood. BS&P RULEZ! The nephews fall into the yellow cake mix vat and then pop out with the wooden ship as they show it. Lucky for them; the Beagle Boys enter with a slightly safer bump as they fall into the bubble gum ball vat and that gets dumped out and that leads to the gumball sliding spot which is the second oldest trick in the book next to the banana peel of course. Female reporter wants them to keep rolling and the camera bird (Frank Welker) with the purple gear blows her off because they are rolling. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Everyone panics and all hell breaks loose as everyone bails except for Scrooge and the nephews as they come out and Scrooge demands answers to this outrage. They explain that there is a treasure map in the wooden ship and the Beagle Boys are after it and of course the Beagle Boys are RIGHT THERE which is enough for Scrooge to get it. Scrooge tells the nephews to leave and let him at them; but the nephews don't want to leave because we have to put the moral of teamwork together see.
Scrooge agrees to that and then he goes onto the catwalk and dangles the ship to the Beagle Boys and the Beagle Boys give chase. I think this is it for them as the nephews grab a rubber something from the machine and a pie. Oh boy; this is going to get messy as Scrooge runs away from the Beagle Boys and Scrooge sidesteps to allow Dewey to get the slingshot (and speak French) and Burger eats pie in the eye. Sorry; but that spot sucks. You know how that can be made better: Start with two bear cubs; one a 12 year old with a criminal past and one six year old spunky female bear cub who giggle like a real girl; add hammock slingshot; add green chair for speed; add red chair and Baloo for landing strip. Tickle in the ribs is optional but it adds to the family feeling. Burger runs backwards into Al Khan Whizzer Boy and Scrooge pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) with his cane (just to be cool) and that opens the trapdoor (sense a theme here?) and Burger and Al Khan Whizzer goes down faster than Mr. Hardcore's creditability after Michael Reigns proclaims that over half of Gears of War 2 gamers don't use HD. Dewey asks where they went and Scrooge proclaims that they are inside a tank of caramel. Sadly; Big Time and El Captain are still left to capture so to speak And of course; it's the hot caramel stuff. OUCH! That's got to hurt.
Female reporter tells camera man #1 to get it all like a heartless bitch getting all giddy inside and he blows her off for it as Scrooge and Dewey and Louie rush to find Big Time as Huey mans the fire hose and of course Big Time Beagle sneaks up from behind and grabs him by the collar. This seems to be a recurring theme in this series with the Beagle Boys always using Huey as their chew toy to get what they want (Send In the Clones anyone?); but maybe I must be seeing things. Big Time does the usual threat of giving him the ship or else. Or else what Big Time.?! It's not like you can do anything to the nephews. Disney keeps PROTECTING THEM! They are immune to any form of torture despite other kids being allowed to be tortured. Even tickling which Kit and Molly got. Dewey proclaims the obvious as Scrooge proclaims that it's not over yet and they have a whisper conference. Dewey and Louie bail as Scrooge proclaims that they will give him the wooden ship and release the Beagle Boy as long as they don't harm the boy. Big Time loves this as Scrooge gives him the ship and he blows off Scrooge's softness.
I think your hope chest is gone there Big Time as Big Time releases him and Scrooge and Huey walk away with Huey apologizing to him. Big Time cheers for victory and calls this a sweet deal. And of course Scrooge calls it sweet as he orders Dewey and Louie to pull the steel lever (WRONG LEVER!) and the vat of chocolate is poured slowly right onto the Beagle Boys. See this is why villains today LIE about giving back babyfaces. Because it leads to stuff like this. The chocolate wave of death flushes the Beagle Boys out of the candy factory as it oozes out of the windows in a neat visual as the sailing boat sails on the chocolate in a neat spot. Scrooge and the nephews are on the catwalk as they call this sweet revenge. I guess so since you MURDERED the female reporter and her cameraman too; YOU BASTARD! Oh wait; she's alright as we see the Beagle Boys captures by chocolate as she was standing near the pie stand. On second thought; MURDER HER TO HELL YOU BASTARD! I'm ashamed of you.
Scrooge grabs the ship from the quick drying chocolate (no logic break since chocolate solidifies quickly anyway) and admits that they were not lying about the Beagle Boys after all. The nephews take it well; but Scrooge insists that they deserve a reward for their services rendered. See; he was always a babyface, he just got carried away. Of course; BS&P demographic freaks focus of trends and not on story lines so don't expect them to get it. He then decides to move their room from the attic to the garage. Okkkkayyyy. The nephews giggle on that one as they take it well; and in comes the Junior Woodchuck Recruiter as he has about thirty merit badges for the nephews because they earn the record for the most of them in a short period of time. Huh?! How would he know this? Unless he was spying on them like a pervert?! SOMEONE REPORT THAT BOY SCOUT!! NOW!! The dumb police car use their muscles (because they have no brains see) and they carry out the Beagle Boy Chocolate Statues with a snobbish look on their faces as the recruiter asks which one will they go for next? I know; the one that will get you fired for being a peeping tom. Does that count?! They decide the next one as treasure hunting though as Scrooge agrees with that and he slaps skin four times and gets the hug for real as the family deal is sealed for good. We then cut to a far shot as we see El Captain blowing them off because Scrooge hasn't won yet see and tells them to beware as we finally end part one at 21:07. Plunder and Lightning Part One this isn't; but this was a really entertaining episode and that's all that counts. Besides; they got four more cracks at it. It was the logic breaks and several inexcusable CONTINUITY ERRORS that prevented the full monty; but it was still fun to watch. As for Quack Pack: BE JEALOUS!! **** (80%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; the first episode of Ducktales is in the books; and unlike The Wuzzles and Gummi Bears (and Quack Pack; but whatever) it really delivered in spades. Still; I couldn't help at seeing some of the errors and mistakes in logic in the episode. The Donald Duck goodbye was supposed to be a good pathos scene; but they screwed it up by screwing up the names on Dewey and Louie. Mistakes that shouldn't be made. Also; I felt that Scrooge's forgiveness to the nephews was a little too easy since I felt Scrooge was pretty reasonable for the most part and that like most business men who are successful; he was in reality and that he got carried away. Thankfully; the writers used the break in later on to finally seal the deal and make him look heelish; but by then; I just saw him too much as a babyface already who got carried away. This is not because the nephews suck (because they don't); it's because I have a different point of context on business than most people and therefore I have most sympathy for Scrooge than usual. Also the ending sequence was fine; but the power wire walking was silly (reminds me of Rescue Ranger episodes) and they broke logic with the chimney spot only for the nephews to reappear on the roof for no reason whatsoever. With that said though; those were the only four logic breaks and TMS was on their game throughout the episode. The Donald Duck Top Gun flashback was pretty funny and everyone did very well from start to finish in spite of the flaws. It is certainly aged better than some critics from Toon Zone who say that it is worse than Hanna Barbera episodes (OH PLEASE!). Next up is part two tomorrow and I look forward to more adventures in Duckberg; but if they want the Plunder and Lightning title; they'll need ***** episodes from here on. So.......
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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