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Treasure Of The Golden Suns Part Five
Reviewed: 08/03/2009
HIC! HIC! GOLD! HIC! HIC!
I couldn't have said it any better myself. We now come to the real good stuff as the first four episodes were merely a warm up for the REAL fireworks to start. Now we put the babyfaces together against El Capitan in a battle of wits, gold and who can act like a drunk the best. I smell first full monty episode coming. So let's rant on shall we....?!
This episode was written by Jymn Magon, Bruce Talkington and Mark Zaslove and the story is edited by Jymn Magon.
Opening Moment #1: The title card for this episode is “Too Much Of A Gold Thing”. I think that is a fitting title for the chaos and hiccuping that is soon going to follow.
We begin this one in a bay with a rowboat as El Captain is wheezing about gold again. He also has the telescope which is awesome in one sense; but it's fashioned in banana yellow. El Captain decides that Scrooge is at the Valley of the Golden Suns by now and that he'll just follow him and grab the treasure. And then he'll MURDER Scrooge with his Gedo-laced telescope complete with evil laughter. Ooooo....that would be deadly to both Scrooge's head and his fashion sense if that thing connects. Sadly; he whacked his hand on the miscue and he sells it like a madman. HAHA! Well; with him that is completely apporos. The green parrot who were perched at the beginning of the scene watches and like what he sees as we hear a plane coming and he flies away. So we pan up to the sky to see the supply plane arrive as Huey tells Scrooge to calm down on the side shot outside. Their destination is the Quackawacka River (oh boy; that pun just deserves to be mocked. Must.... resist....) as Scrooge gets all angry because he's been through a lot of trouble. The nephews are pumping up a raft while Mrs. Beakly goes over the clipboard while Webby reads the LIBERAL BOOK OF RED LIES THE KIDS EDITION~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Damn; even Webby's not immune to reading the Junior Woodchuck Guide Book.
Huey is scared stiff of Scrooge's attitude and Beakly goes all doctor on us as she proclaims that he has....wait for it....Gold Fever! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! She has started it already and we aren't even two minutes into the episode. This episode is going to be one of those fun rants no matter what the episode quality ultimately becomes. She grabs Webby like Molly which indicates that she is six years old or less as the nephews are confused on this Gold Fever stuff. I am too; please enlighten us you old hag. POW! OUCH! Ummmm.... Beakly explains that Scrooge is itching for wealth so much that he forgets what's important..and just to make me laugh; Scrooge scratches his head on cue as he goes into the cockpit to annoy Launchpad. LP is on headphones as he tells Scrooges that the landing spot is just above the falls. Scrooge tells LP to speed it up because he wants the gold see. So he uses his cane to push a lever (WRONG LEVER!) and we go to the side shot as the supply plane speeds up and the male adults take a decent bump into the back wall.
So we logically cut to a river bank which looks like something from Bob Ross' paintings (wonder if the background designer was a fan of his?) as the supply plane take a nosedive and heads straight for El Captain's rowboat as he panics (duh) with great selling from him as we cut back to the cockpit as LP uses the cane to un-stick the lever (WRONG LEVER!) but no dice. You just knew there would be a defect on this supply plane and for once it isn't named Launchpad McQuack. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm.... We cut back to El Captain diving from his rowboat into the river as Launchpad finally gets the lever (WRONG LEVER!) to work and the plane does a hyperbole and just misses the boat. Nice animation from the palm trees as El Captain pops up and protests this outrage as the boat finally overturns on him. OUCH! That has got to leave a mark. We then cut to the river sequence shot (repeated about three times) as the supply plane bounces off the water a couple times (good bumps I might add) and then comes to rest. Everyone runs into the cockpit as Webby asks what happened and Scrooge lies through his teeth saying that only Launchpad's seat broke. If only that were true Scroogie as Launchpad blows him off using a tailfin as a nice way of saying ass. And then the blue seat broke as Launchpad gets launched backwards; but the seat belt only gives him a wussy bump. HAHA! So Scrooge was telling the truth after all. Or Scrooge sabotaged the seat. YOU THE VIEWER DECIDE!
Scrooge's face is priceless on THAT one as Dewey goes to the window and on the side shot he notices the supply plane is caught in the current. Scrooge notices the runway is running away and wants to go into the sky as Launchpad is standing up now (Hmmm; I don't remember the control panel being vanilla colored..) as he pulls the rope and proclaims that the going gets tough; the harder they fall as everyone screams on cue. No matter how screwed up Scrooge gets; Launchpad will always be #1 when it comes to (insert swear word here) up. Scrooge protests this outrage as LP realizes that it'll take a minute to restart the engines as he panics and Louie proclaims that they don't got a minute because he looks out and there is another waterfall. And this one looks a lot more believable as Launchpad still cannot get the engines going so he tugs on the rope and forces the supply plane to sink just to cause Mrs. Beakly to panic. Luckly the supply plane is so big that it becomes like a canal and it stops itself about five feet away from the edge without further incident. HEE HEE! Sadly; they lost the rest of their supplies too.
So we go to the scene changer on the left red wing flap of the supply plane as Scrooge and the rest of the gang (minus LP of course because he cannot hog the action for the rest of the show. It might not get everyone else over see.) are on the raft (inflatable; kind of like Scrooge's sex life now. POW! OUCH! Ummm....) . Beakly wants them to come along (with life jackets of course) because this discovery will be very educational and drier. Yeah right Beakly; you're coming along because Scrooge has Gold Fever and someone has to save him from himself. Scrooge tells LP to get the supply plane floating again and then answer him when he shoots a flare up from the flare gun. It's nice to see that weapon being used again. Launchpad salutes him and then Scrooge orders the kids and female to row because the treasure is upstream. There's another scene you'll never see again according to Night Flight's views on Disney. Then again; Disney is run by lawyers and the 700 Club; so I'm not shocked. Louie gets pissed off on that and calls him Captain Greed as the nephews get the paddles and start rowing. That insult was lame; now Bumble Scrooge is AWESOME; sadly Butterbear already trademarked that one and you don't want to get Butterbear on her bad side when she has packed heat if you catch my drift. Scrooge goes into slave driver mode (which is funny considering how much he was one during this pilot and that leads to another....
….scene changer as the raft hits a green skinned rock. Oh; and if you cannot tell who is under the water; then you have no business reading this rant. Scrooge of course blows it off because he has no time for detours. You do not want to get on an crocodile's bad side Mr. McD. No matter how bad your Gold Fever is. Scrooge pokes it with a stick and here comes angry crocodile. I already like Baloo and Kit's adventures with them in Plunder and Lightning since there were 20 of them; and they had to cross the river without a raft. Only using their legs and a lot of awesome jumping and dodging. Scrooge invokes the paddle on the jaws to stop it from biting and it dies away with a broken jaw I guess. Scrooge calls him a reject from the luggage. This guy is a bigot to all anthro crocodile people; well...in TaleSpin. He should be ashamed of himself. Oh wait; it's Gold Fever...never mind as the nephews and Webby notices about 12 gators surrounding them. Well; Jymn is moving up at least as Beakly blames Scrooge for all this and wants him to do something. Scrooge agrees and he invokes the dagger much to the panic of Mrs. Beakly and pops the raft to escape. That spot was later recycled for To The Rescue in Rescue Rangers by the way. Funny how TaleSpin's way was simply run and bop the gators whenever possible.
So we play bounce on the river for a while as they bounce off a rock with a wussy bump and the gang all falls into the river while the raft flies away like a balloon running out of air into the jungle. Good bumps though as everyone minus Beakly lost their life jackets (or was Beakly wearing the only one? I cannot tell..) when they pop up which tells me those jackets are defective as well. Where did Launchpad get that supply plane? I'm putting 2:1 odds it came from the FCC Navy as some sort of joke. Huey calls it some ride. I disagree; Kit and Baloo's spot with the gators was some ride and they all did ALL the work to make it fun. Beakly apologizes for underestimating him and Scrooge forgives her. Kind of since he wants his gold as he is scratching himself good. Dewey notices something and it's a stone pathway that leads to the valley as Scrooge manages to get on the path himself and the gang walks on it without incident as Beakly takes off her life jacket off-screen. And then El Captain appears from the foreground and speaks some Spanish and wheezes as he has shrunk about a foot or so since we last saw him. Man; that overturned boat must have crushed his spine.
So we get another scene changer as Scrooge and company go through the jungle pushing red leaf trees in their wake. Huey asks Dewey about the strangeness of this road and Dewey answers that there is not a burger place in sight. Huey corrects him because why build a road if the valley is supposed to be a secret. UH OH! The nephews deduce that this pathway is a trap. NO?! REALLY?! The nephews run to tell Scrooge to stop; but his foot triggers the spring rock panel from the floor and the nephews blitz Scrooge and drops him down on his face with a good bump as two wooden logs on ropes smashes into each other with MAN-SIZED bump. Man; another two seconds and Scrooge would be Scrooge Patties. Do you get fries with that order? AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Scrooge recovers and proclaims that he knew they were there all along. Yeah sure; your voice isn't helping state your case one bit. Dewey blows him off on that one. Like that face is telling him that he's not lying. So we cut back to Launchpad on the top of the plane playing with the pulley rope as he states his MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN (I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader) and then inflates a big ass inner tube which is orange color. And I thought Quack Pack overplayed this?! Suddenly LP has this craving for a large cup of coffee.
You just knew he is going to screw up somehow as we get another scene changer as we head to the side of a mountain which has conveniently placed steps as Webby calls it an escalator. Beakly corrects her as just stairs and they will have to walk up these ones. Apparently; Webby has never seen stairs before which begs the question: Scrooge's mansion uses an escalator? I thought Scrooge was too cheap for that. Scrooge proclaims that the sooner they get it; the sooner they get to the valley as he scratches himself again. So everyone climbs up as they get up to step 238 (according to Louie) as Dewey asks Mrs. Beakly about that funny twitch Scrooge is having. He must mean the scratching himself since it's no twitch. Beakly calls it the next symptom in Gold Fever as they make it to a green patch just below the summit and it's death reference #1 for the episode as it's a dead end. Scrooge gets all bitchy because he has come too far to quit now. He goes to the bushes and notices a gap in the mountain and demands a tree limb from the nephews. Scrooge manages to pull away the bushes and vines to reveal a stone rock cut like a door. They use the tree limb against the left side of the door and they pull like they never pulled before. The tree limb breaks near the door; but the stone door opens anyway and there is a lot of golden lights. Again; is Sun Woo doing effects animation for TMS or something? Everyone gets blinded as the females complain about their eyes; and Scrooge tells everyone to follow him. Everyone runs into the light as Mrs. Beakly doesn't like this one bit. Well; I'm digging this episode; so let Scrooge learn the hard way on this one...
So we go back to the supply plane on the water fall as Launchpad has the hook and rows with his big ass inner tube and sings the row boat song; which out pops a snake just to make this episode seem more complete I guess. He claims to hate snakes and then recoils by claiming to love snakes. Sadly; he is going to hate this one as the snake wraps it's coils around his legs and Launchpad backlashes into the water. The snake drags him across the river like the Undertaker dragged Hulk Hogan on the cement floor with his motorcycle on an episode of RAW back in 2002. The hook rope stops as it's life line is at it's end so it's tug of war time using Launchpad as the rope. HAHA! He gets dragged underwater as LP realizes how a worm feels now. So we cut back to inside the Golden Light Valley as Scrooge and the gang are inside and they see big ass Golden Sun Medallions (about seven or eight of them) surrounding the inside of the valley. One of them shines brightly on the far right side as Scrooge proclaims that he has found the treasure. We notice that they are in front of one of the discs which has a mass of 2.3 tons apiece according to Scrooge.
They exchange notes on the amount of gold seen as Scrooge declares it all his with that heelish look of his. Webby points down to the one right below them on the path. Huey proclaims that it looks like the sun coin from earlier as Scrooge proclaims that it's made of the same stuff too. Scrooge jumps onto the disc from the top and bangs on it as he declares it as pure gold. Then Scrooge stoops to Drake's levels of stupidity (as in REALLY STUPID) as he jumps on the disc as Webby asks what is he doing and Scrooge tells her to help him shake the disc loose. I see Drake has cribbed this episode as part of his character which is the worst career choice in history. Dewey and Louie join in the stupidity (fun stupid; but still) as Huey calls him nuts because they'll never be able to carry this back home. Beakly declares that the Gold Fever is getting worse as they all jump on the disc and the weight of Beakly alone (which is about 60% of the weight of Baloo and Hoppo each) is enough to cause the disc to rumble and then it deattaches from the wall and starts to slide down as the gang falls down and Beakly screams for help to end the segment nine minutes in.
After the commercial break; we continue with the Golden Sun Coin Disc sliding down the valley wall with great neck speed down into the jungle below as the gang get on top of the disc as Miss Beakly calls this ridiculous. Ummm, no actually Len Uhley getting Kit to admit that he was an Air Pirate past the censors was ridiculous. However; this comes close though as Louie points to a big hill (which looks like a green spike) while getting off death reference #2 and orders the abandonment of the disc. Scrooge of course hold on like Linus holds onto his security blanket. Dewey panics and then the nephew grab onto Scrooge's feet and not once does he laugh in response. I see another another symptom of Gold Fever: Complete immunity to tickling. Everyone jumps except for Scrooge (who no sells of course) off of the disc with Dewey cutting a Bombs Away promo while holding onto Scrooge's foot.
You can tell the duck puns are coming fast in this show. TaleSpin a Ducktales wannabe?! Where did they get these ideas?! Parody to Jungle Book I can understand...Adaption from an aborted Ducktales spinoff; maybe. But come on people! And so the disc flies into the temple as it get the Gong Show treatment. Good bump too as Scrooge recovers getting confused on the bong sound and heads to the green spike without a nary reason to stop and reflection. Just like the video game industry actually. Webby asks Beakly about the status and she proclaims the fever is getting worse. I guess so if Scrooge loses the cartoon characters only weakness. Scrooge pulls away at the vines from the green spike and we get more golden light as he realizes that the discs are only loose change compared to this green spike. The nephews wonder what it is and Scrooge gets off this gem....
Scrooge: It's gold (hiccup)! An entire building of gold. (hiccup)!
And then you realize that Miss Beakly has got the illness wrong. This is not Gold Fever; it's much worse and much more fun. It's....wait for it.....Golden Alcohol Syndrome. That's right folks; they created an illness that is similar to being drunk. Oh that cooky Jymn Magon and his band of job based values entertainers! This is the first in many ideas that were super over at DTVA; but would also be declared a BS&P nightmare. I mean; the new Disney would NEVER do this angle at all. I don't think they did this angle ever again after this. And the reason is quite simple; the symptoms are similar to alcohol abuse. Considering that Disney is run by lawyers and the 700 Clubs along with the Southern Baptists; you do not want to get on their bad side. Although this is the least of their concerns (Remember the Cola Cult from Rescue Rangers? Remember Kit Cloudkicker's past?) as we saw much worse and more popular attacks of Disney from the 700 Club in feature (which all had to do with sex because sex is the great evil to them) which were debunked (except for the porn Rescuers incident which turned out to be true according to Snopes.); but that didn't stop Disney from editing the scenes to prevent that connection.
The sad thing is that DTVA is probably the worst offender of these dark acts (as the PTC calls them) and none of them batted an eye. It was always the shorts or Feature or the theme parks. The only one who cared was Peggy Charmon who was after children's television in general; so she at least wasn't showing a bias towards Disney. Which tells me how much heat DTVA was getting at the time since no one except those who were not hypocritical were denouncing it. Even funnier is that DTVA has done a lot more dark acts than the new Disney EVER COULD. At least with the new Disney; it was reduced to being vain (something the old Disney did in spades; only less contrived.), commercialization (same thing; only with fake stuff) and some cringe worthy moments (which old Disney did a lot more of.). And also; they called TaleSpin gay back in 1990, just like they are calling the new Disney NOW! We go full circle. I think we should judge the new Disney show on merit to entertain rather than the morals because when it comes to morals; DTVA doesn't really have a leg to stand on. DTVA is certainly more entertaining on the whole than the new Disney which is the only thing that counts in my view; thank you. I'm sure a lot of the public agrees with me on that value; even if they don't agree on what entertains them.
So we head back to rant as Louie wonders if this is the place and Scrooge proclaims that it is. Now he wants help finding the door. Well; the hiccups have actually helped lower his selfish streak a bit as we get the scene changer as we see that they found the door which is all made of gold complete with Golden Sun symbol. Scrooge gets giddy as he wants to remelt the gold and remake the Statue of Liberty out of solid gold. Now THAT would be symbolism at it's finest and I mean that in the nicest way possible as Scrooge is getting drunker by the second. Miss Beakly rubs on Scrooge's shoulder blades as she asks Scrooge to signal for Launchpad now. Scrooge stammers and calls it a good idea as he gets out his flare gun and shoots the flare into the sky and then it explodes on cue which is the second time that a gun was fired on Ducktales. We would be up to 2.8 Trigun in TaleSpin by now as Scrooge proclaims that even Launchpad the idiot cannot miss them one. Which I would agree if LP wasn't playing Tug Of War with a snake; with HIM being the rope. And so we return to the river as we cut to underwater with Launchpad screaming for help which is slightly screwed up since there are no sound water effects from the voice. The snake makes up for it by tying itself like a bow against a tree root on the ground below as the pulley rope is coming apart at the seams. That allows Launchpad to whiplash back up while losing his boots in the process and then he flips over the supply plane and over the falls hanging by a thread. HAHA! Launchpad blows off the snake as now he hates them. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.
So we cut to inside the temple as the doors open by everyone as they go inside as everything is made of gold; even gold bricks on the floor, roof, ceiling and so on. The kids are in awe as there is more gold in this place than in the whole universe. They ask Scrooge if this is the gold and Scrooge gets on all fours and meow like a fat cat. POW! OUCH! Ummm.. I think Scrooge is hiding some scotch and whiskery from the censors and drinking it off screen away from Mrs. Beakly. Scrooge is all right as he gets up and calls Webby a doubloon. Considering how Drake does it; I think Scrooge called her stupid. Scrooge is in 24 karat paradise. He gets all giddy like a kid in a candy; a bowl in a china shop; like Tommy Dreamer in a weapons match in the ECW arena. And you know at some point; Scrooge is going to wreck the joint. They go into the room where the steam is coming from and it's a room filled with dead people and skeletons beside a pot of melted gold on a black pot under a fire which I'm sure will scare Shawn Michaels away. Mrs. Beakly calls this the final result of being drunk...ERRR...I mean Gold Fever and she gets fussy on Scrooge. It's sad because Mrs. Beakly's fussiness is completely apporos given that Scrooge is slowly going into full punch drunk mode that he could die from it and yet the angle is so awesome that it makes Beakly look like a fuddy duddy. Again; not a condemnation of Mrs. Beakly; just an observation.
Scrooge blows it off as a ghost story and destroys an innocent skeleton in process. I see the alcohol abuse is starting to worsen up real good now. Huey wonders what the pot is for and Scrooge calls it merely a heating duct and a waste of time. I just know that it's going to be used at some point; I just know it. So Scrooge gets really greedy and offers the boy some Joy Juice...ERRR...I mean his alcohol...ERRR...I mean an offer to check out the three doors in the back of the courtyard as the nephews scratch themselves and run past the females as Webby is SHOCKED and APPALLED as the nephews have gotten into Scrooge's alcohol stash....ERRR...I mean the gold fever is spreading. Beakly is aware of it and they must keep their heads afloat so to speak. Webby then notices on the ground a dead skeleton with a writing device and beside it is a picture warning. Beakly uses the Lezard Symbols To English translator book which reads man gets greedy; opens all three doors and then you're dead.
It's not that hard; but Webby decides to go to the LIBERAL BOOK OF RED LIES THE KIDS EDITION~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...The Junior Woodchuck Guide Book. How she got that from the nephews is beyond me; but she reads the pages as we cut to an entrance way as the nephews and Scrooge open door number one with some difficulty. They go inside and they find a mountain full of SUUUUUUUU....gold dust. HIC! As Scrooge would say. Well; not quite, but you get the picture. I'm amazed Scrooge can even walk at this point without stumbling. That is some weak sauce alcohol Scrooge is drinking. They play with it for a while as they have their own beach and dessert. Scrooge wants more though as he skis down the golden slopes and skids out the door as the nephews follow and they get punch drink. Oh boy Jymn; you are really asking for trouble now. At least this is merely an angle and not part of the character.
So we head to door number 2 as Scrooge opens it as it's filled with golden coins just like his own money bin as Scrooge is in awe and he goes swimming in it easily. The nephews run in for fun and try to dive in; but the LAW OF HEAVY METAL GRAVITY rejects them! HAHA! They bounce off the coins as Louie wonder how he does that. Scrooge is immune to heavy metals so he can easily swim in them; while others bounce off. It's his special skill see only used by the richest person in the world. Scrooge pops out of the gold coins as we cut back to Webby and Beakly finally finishing the translation that I did successfully about two minutes ago. It's another trap as they panic from the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and run stage right to stop Scrooge. However; Scrooge and the nephews are already at door number 3 (see; if I was there I could have stopped him BEFORE he even got to the FIRST door.) as they pull hard (it's always the third one that is most difficult to open.) as Beakly and Webby come out from the area to yell at them. However; it's too late as the door opens and the nephews backlash off-screen with MAN-SIZED bumps.
Scrooge takes a safer bump and notices that the room is filled with golden bar like Fort Knox. Sadly; one of the Golden Sun discs in the room turns clockwise 90 degrees and the rumbling commences as Scrooge hugs the golden bars like they were human beings...and being punch drunk at the same time. He kisses the bars (EWWWWW!); and then one of the bars loosens and it hits Scrooge right on the top of the head with a nasty bump and he goes into complete drunk mode with staggering. Oh yeah; like this doesn't conjure up alcohol abuse in any way no siree! And then completes the cycle by cutting a goldfinch promo and then fainting on his face as the Golden Sun death trap coin goes clockwise again and then all the rooms slam their doors shut along with the front door being locked and gated. Mrs. Beakly goes over with her purple hanky filled with smelling salts (I think) to wake up Scrooge who is on his back now. She proclaims that they need to climb out of here. And then it gets even more awesome as El Captain arrives with his rifle from behind laughing and wheezing like a sicko. Huey realizes that it's El Captain and are shocked that he is still alive. El Captain proclaims that nothing stops him from finding his gold as he hiccups as well. What is this; a contest now?!
So we logically go inside the heating duct room as El Captain forces everyone including a fainted Scrooge into the iron pot as El Capitan proclaims that he has waited 400 years for this and now it's clear who the guy is. He's the one who captained the ship and left Marching Slowly and Juan to rot in the Andes. But how could he have lived...unless he's a ghost or fallen angel. In other words; this is the template for William Stansbury from Her Chance to Dream. Only El Captain is a heel as Beakly calls him mad. HAHA! I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. El Captain agrees because he's mad for gold as he gets more punch drunk than Scrooge does. I guess his alcohol is better than Scrooge's. He goes limp on the wheeze laugh as Louie wants to know how he stayed alive and El Captain calls it sheer will power. That's a nice way of saying “I'm a fallen angel.”. That makes the whole Kit Cloudkicker Sky God theory a lot more plausible now.
He cranks the wheel on the well (I wondered what that thing was) as El Captain lowers the babyfaces into the lava pit below them as he has a date with the gold. This is getting even more awesome now as we cut to the pot as Scrooge recovers and wakes up moaning. Scrooge then starts to shiver because it's freezing down there even though it's 150 degrees plus down there; so claims Louie. I'm beckoning it's far higher than that; say 1500 degrees. Mrs. Beakly sezs it's the final symptom of alcohol abuse...ERRR...I mean gold fever and then Scrooge goes completely insane as he sniffs and discovers gold. UH OH! The alcohol is taking it's full effects now. AND NOW THE REAL FUN BEGINS.......Scrooge nearly goes over the edge sniffing as the nephews grab him by the ankles and Scrooges points out that the lava is really molten gold. That has got to piss off El Captain now as Mrs. Beakly proclaims that they are going to be boiled in it as we get to the far shot as the segment ends 15 and a half minutes in. Now we're talking awesome here...
After the commercial break; we get a sky shot of the molten gold again and a zoom out as Scrooge twirls around the rope and proclaims that this is the real treasure of the Golden Suns. Sadly; El Captain hears that one and overhears that there is more gold here than the entire world and that causes El Capitan to panic. NO?! REALLY?! This guy is so gold crazy; you think he was the richest dogperson in the world. He goes drunk on us and then re-cranks the wheel up while being crazy. This gold fever angle is only helping Scrooge; not killing him which is only making Beakly look bad. The pot rises to the top and then El Captain goes for his gun and orders the babyfaces out. See; he doesn't want them tainting his gold. I think it's already too late for that El Captain-o. Scrooge jumps out much to Louie's disdain and Scrooge stands his ground because he did it the right way see. Does it really matter at this point? Unless you are Malstrom of course? Scrooge goes drunk on the power of gold as El Captain blows him off. Considering that El Captain-o has the blunderbuss; I wouldn't want to get on his bad side. We saw what happened with Flint in episode #2.
I suspect the gun pointing here was cut by Toon Disney; but if it's not this only makes my theory with TaleSpin more complete as Scrooge offers him some gold; in the form of SHUUUUUUU...gold dust. Baloo would recycle this spot for Plunder and Lightning Part Three. Geez; no wonder people called it a Ducktales wannabe. They play tug of war for a while and the gun finally shoots. YES! YES! YES! It finally happened! The first episode in DTVA history to fire a bullet shooting gun. This is truly a history making day! Many more to come; I assure of thee, with the most fired from TaleSpin episodes. And for those who watch Ruby Spears and Hanna Barbera; this was a SHOCKING day for parents and groups alike. Wait until 1990 and then you'll REALLY have something to complain about. Scrooge and El Captain-o tug on the blunderbuss for a while and then they get into a fight with no dust cloud to boot! So it was the inability to animate it after all! It all makes sense now.
So we go to the shot of the Sun Gear as it toils and troubles clockwise and then the most iconic spot of the pilot occurs as the rumbling starts and the whole floor crumbles beneath their feet in sequence fashion. The women and children bail at once; as the well falls to it's molten gold death. Huey wants answers to this outrage; but gets none as the bricks falls in sequence in an awesome spot as Scrooge and El Capitano fight for the blunderbuss as Beakly tells them to stop the craziness. I agree for once as the two male drunk adults realize that they wouldn't be getting any gold if they are dead and that forces them into a truce. And so we get an awesome running sequence which ends with Beakly and the children getting to the ledge on the sides and then we see the awesome running sequence of Scrooge and El Captain from the opening sequence. Oh; and the temple crumbles into the molten gold of course. Scrooge and El Captain make the leap of faith and manage to grab onto the ledge as the gold bricks fall into the molten gold. Mrs. Beakly helps El Captain while the nephews get Scrooge up of course. And then truce is finally broken and they start fighting like a bunch of drunk children. Webby panics as she wants Beakly to stop this madness as the Sun Gear goes clockwise again. And now the walls are coming into the area as the whole building is about to collapse now. I betcha when the Sun Gear goes up to one complete rotation the destruction is complete.
Beakly grabs Scrooge McDuck to tell him that; but Scrooge blows her off because the greatest fortune is at stake. Beakly basically sums up the situation for him: Rich duck or dead duck (death reference #2 and #3) as Scrooge finally gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and the after effects of being drunk have worn off. That is the weakest alcohol Scrooge has ever had. El Captain wants to settle this; but the nephews uses the tree vines to lasso El Captain and hold him back. I'd say let him go and let Darwinism take over. He has lived 400+ years; it's not like anything can KILL him at this point. He's clearly a fallen angel. The nephews see the vines and the babyface climb onto them as Scrooge is sweating and realizes that he has no gold fever anymore. Well; no crap Sherlock, the alcohol has worn off on you. Sadly; El Captain's alcohol must be 100 proof plus because he won't climb up with them as the gold is still his. The block walls push him over the edge (oh man; that just writes itself Jymn) and he free falls; but stops short by about 10 feet. He is happy as a drunk would be as the babyface have made it to the surface as the nephews notice El Captain is happy. However; Scrooge is against killing him (why? He's a fallen angel. He's not going to die no matter what you do to him) and pulls the vines with him lassoed as El Captain protests this outrage. Beakly tells Scrooge to signal Launchpad again; but there are no more signal flares and they are stuck. You know you are screwed when THAT happens.
So the Sun Gear finally turns full time and that allows the discs on the sides of the valley to move 45 degrees towards the sun and they reflect light and then shine it down into the temple which makes contact with the molten gold causing it to bubble up and come up like a volcano. Which of course is enough as we cut to the supply plane on the far shot to see Launchpad notice the rescue flare. Yeap; this guy is an idiot, what a shock?! Launchpad runs into the cockpit from above and straps himself in as it is warp drive Scotty time. And you thought the Star War references were goofy?! He tries to push the red button; but gets nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Launchpad cannot believe that the thing is still flooded because he dried it. Launchpad tries more levers and button; but still nothing as we get some really creepy music as Louie notices that the temple walls are getting shorter. Which is true because since the temple is made of gold; they are sinking. This is getting ugly now as we cut to the supply plane as Launchpad is still pushing the buttons and still the engines won't respond as the walls sink down even more. Webby complains about the heat as Beakly wipes her forehead with a cloth to cool her down. That is not going to work on heatstroke Mrs. Beakly. Trust me on that one as we cut back to the supply plane and Launchpad suddenly realizes that he had the choke on. Oh yeah; because we need a really suspenseful plot by making LP look like an idiot. Oh wait; he already is. Never mind then; that was completely apporos.
The engines start as the plane makes an effort to cut some vines away and then flies towards the volcano (which was mistaken for a valley) as we cut back to inside as the adults are holding the children up on their backs and then we get a really touching scene where Scrooge apologizes for the mess and Beakly forgives him because he couldn't help himself. Scrooge thanks her for being there and they say their goodbyes. Thankfully; the supply plane arrives and lands below as the hatch opens and the babyfaces enter inside. Scrooge tells El Captain that it's time to leave; but Captain-o refuses of course because he'll never leave his gold again as he is selling the drunk angle well. Scrooge grabs the vines anyway and tugs him into the supply plane. The supply plane lifts into the air; but the rumbling causes the GOLDEN VULCAN COLUMN OF DOOM and it nails the plane; gold plating it as Launchpad has lost control. As if he was in control in the first place. The supply plane flies around as the discs and the sides of the valley crumble to dust as the babyfaces and El Captain bump like mad inside the plane for fun. That leads to the plane taking a rocket dive into the drink that would have killed anyone in any other universe; but the supply plane comes up and everyone is okay, DUH!
The nephews cheer for victory as El Captain in the back wall is untied and he goes through the emergency exit (helpfully labeled in red and white letters as such) as Scrooge orders the faces to stop him. That leads to El Captain to climb up the hill wanting his gold and acting drunk to the gills. Scrooge goes after him and wants him stopped. But El Captain makes it over the hill; and he is SHOCKED and APPALLED because the gold is gone and buried under a mountain of dirt as Scrooge sees it and laughs his ass off. El Captain is undaunted though and goes onto the top of the mountain of dirt and begins digging while acting drunk. Scrooge and gang realize that there is nothing that can save him as he is too far gone and only death will get it through his skull so they just walk off. Yeap; this is about alcohol abuse as Webby asks if he'll dig it all up and Scrooge proclaims that he might in 400 years time as they walk down the hill as Scrooge has more important things to consider. Like his new family of course as the kids welcome him back to the team.
Still; Scrooge feels a little empty because they got nothing out of the deal and then Mrs. Beakly sees a wonderful sight as the nephews realize that the supply plane is now solid gold. I'm sure the FCC Navy will love this as a parting gift. So we cut to the sky shot with the Golden Supply as the sun sets slowly in the west. Launchpad realizes that it was the gold that made it fly heavy so to speak. Along with his head; but that was a given anyway. Everyone is in the cockpit in their seats with their seat belts on (so we can be safe according to the LAW OF DORA). Scrooge is happy for this as Launchpad asks him about the next treasure hunt and Scrooge blows it off because there will never big a prize like that again. However; Launchpad then starts rumor whispering because apparently there are gold doubloons off the coast of Java. Scrooge proclaims that he doesn't want to be buttered up again and then hears the word gold and hiccups. Huey doesn't like this as the plane goes towards the sun northwest and I think Scrooge is bluffing on that one. We fade to black to end the episode at 21:18. There's the first perfect episode just five into my rant career on this show. ***** (100%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; the final episode of the pilot is in the books and the episode ended in an absolute bang rather than a soft boom like To The Rescue did. It was really awesome and they build the entire gold fever angle to perfection from start to finish as Scrooge get more and more punch drunk the more he got greedy which was a sight to watch. Even more so with the nephews which sadly would be considered really disturbing and enough to shelf the angle from any further use. After all; alcohol abuse is not a pretty sight and using it as a funny plot device is just asking for trouble. El Captain was ON his game in this one as he just couldn't shake his abuse and basically despite every attempt to save him; the finish was dead on perfect in that El Captain was a lost cause and gone and thus death was the only solution now. It's certainly a change from the “Stop abuse at all costs” plot line I see more and more of today due to BS&P getting spooked. Mrs. Beakly's role was good as well; but the angle overwhelmed anything that she could do and it came off as Beakly being a fuddy duddy; which is sad because she was in the right to be as fussy as possible. The nephews were all right; and Launchpad was Launchpad. Also; there were zero logic breaks and no animation mistakes which made the episode suspenseful until the end. So; the final episode did exactly what it was supposed to do even though it only assured second place in the best pilot episode nod to Plunder and Lightning. Again; logic breaks did it in and some silliness to boot.
Still; it doesn't matter if this wasn't the best pilot episode anyway. This is the thing DTVA needed the most, a real epic story arc to really get kids (and people like me) to watch and it delivered in spades. It was more than good enough and it lead to Ducktales getting the most references in pop culture since. Mainly because it was the first true 1980's animated series to get over without toys or real gimmicks. It just plain, sheer entertainment value with excellent animation (by television standards mind you) and very good plotting, pacing and stuff that made sense even if it was silly. If this show failed (in profits and quality) then you can kiss TaleSpin goodbye before it ever gets started. That's why that while I consider TaleSpin the best; I cannot ignore Ducktales because that show is what started it all. And TaleSpin has the most direct connection to Ducktales since it was supposed to be an aborted Ducktales spinoff. So we end the Golden Suns story arc and begin ranting on the regular episodes from there; with three episodes: Back to The Klondike (I believe that one is a remake of a Carol Barks story; but Chris Barat is a bigger expert on this subject than mine), Horse Scents (Take one guess what this involves?) and Scrooge's Pet (ditto). I don't know what to expect and I'm ready for any surprises that befall on me. So.....
Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you next time.