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Catch As Cash Can Part One
Here we go again....
Welcome to Volume 2, Disc 2 of Ducktales; as we continue with yet another major multi-part episode and this time we take part two of Treasure of the Golden Suns and turn it into an epic story arc as Scrooge McDuck takes on Flintheart Glomhold for real to find out who is truly the richest duck in the world. I also believe that this is the debut of Doofus Drake and this four part story arc contains without a doubt the most hilarious scene in the history of DTVA. So let's begin again shall we....?!
This episode was written by Jymn Magon, Bruce Talkington and Mark Zaslove. The story is edited by Jymn Magon. The script is consulted by Tedd Anasti and Patsy Cameron and the teleplay is done by Len Uhley. Len Uhley you know from the Plunder and Lightning re-rant so I won't repeat him again.
Opening Moment #1: The title card for this episode is called “A Drain on the Economy”. Now THERE'S a fitting title card for the last three years actually. Also the overall episode title is “The Firefly Fruit Contest” which means the story arc's name was changed to create one of Jymn Magon's horrible puns.
We begin this one at a Middle Eastern Castle (!!!) and we zoom in as Scrooge and Flint are sitting at a table gambling (!!!). Huh?! Scrooge sees the oil wells and raises him one uranium mine. I'm starting to get why anime dubs cut gambling spots now. And worse off; he's doing it IN FRONT OF THE NEPHEWS! Oh noes! This could teach children how to gamble their lives away. I can just hear Al Khan say it now. Flint matches Scrooge with a deed of his now and Scrooge declares that the deed is a fraud and he wins the pot which is a green middle eastern pot (check the tip). Flint wants him to prove it and we go to a tug of war. It's sad to see two grown men fight over drugs like that; even more so when three kids are watching them. Thankfully; a peach colored wearing middle eastern dogsperson walks down the wooden stairs declaring that their wealth is equal. Considering that he has a sword; I would agree with him if I were you two. Besides; the future of his country is at stake. Dewey is confused over a bowl of fruit. The peach sultan puts on his green shades and declares that it's not just any bowl of fruit. He opens the pot and it reveals a flash of light which is the golden fruit. See, the sultan made a discovery some weeks ago in his country of Macaroon.
So that makes him the Grand Kishki of Macaroon which is voiced by the late Hamilton Camp (passed away in 2005); and was a folk song singer with Bob Gibson; before then going to television, film and theater in the 1970's. Hamilton is actually a stage name as Hamid was his birth name. He also started off as a child actor in films in the late 1940's and 1950's with Bedlam, Mrs. Mike, The Happy Years, Outrage and Dark City to name a few; and completed that era with Mardi Gras in 1958. He was Andrew Hummell in He & She, Keiser in The Feather & The Father Gang, Louie Morgan in American Hot Wax, Blacker in Nickelodeon (!!!) and Bentley in Heaven Can Wait. His voice acting debut came in 1982 with the Smurfs Springtime Special and The Incredible Hulk (1982 edition) as well as Greedy Smurf and Harmony Smurf in the Smurfs Hanna Barbera version. This was his DTVA debut; but his major typecast character wasn't until much later on in 1989 in Super Ducktales as Fenton Crackshell, also known as Gizmo Duck. He appeared in TaleSpin as Whistlestop Jackson and Seymour, Darkwing Duck as Jock Newbody and Gizmoduck, Bonkers as the crooked television commercial director, Aladdin the series as Ayam Aghoul, and Merlin in House of Mouse. He also starred in the video game Halo 2 as the Prophet of Mercy and his last credit was Bix Karew in Hard Four which was released two years after his death.
So we go to the circle scene changer (and you thought that would go after the Wuzzles debacle) as The Sultan of Macaroon (it's easier to spell by the way) is going down the steps by candlelight even though the green-blue tint lighting is in effect. We go to the foot shots which signal danger and the sultan steps down on some rotten wood since it breaks through and he free falls into the valley of shining fruit trees. Okay; this is really absurd even for Carl Barks. Excellent bump on the bum by the sultan though as he calls it firefly fruit (hence the original episode title which was deemed too boring by BS&P. We go to the circle scene changer again barely two minutes in as the sultan proclaims that they grow in the mythical caves of Macaroon. He eats one and goes a flashlight for his mouth as they make a light snack and allow for no electricity. I see why Scrooge and Flint want this fruit so bad now. The nephews are loving this as Macaroon would be rich overnight. However; Grand Kishke (according to Disney Captions) is not a business man (HA! Then why is he acting like one now?) and the one to market the fruit is the richest man in the world. Scrooge declares himself the richest man in the world which will earn a blow off from Flint no doubt. They insult each other with playground level insults as sultan yells for quiet. I agree; these two need better wit than this. Kishke wants to weight their MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH to see who is the heaviest and the winner takes the fruit marketing rights which the nephews point out.
The adults blow it off as absurd and too dangerous. HA! Wait until Rebecca Cunningham gets the absurd and dangerous ideas of dragging an iceberg; or the mid-air fueling station. Then you'll know what DANGER is all about. Kishke declares the winner doubles his fortune and then there will be no doubt who is the richest duck in the world. I betcha they agree to the terms. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good as Flint and Scrooge walk out while Kishke gives them ten days to bring their MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH (which is LESS time than the second part of the Golden Suns epic mind you. And this one goes FOUR episodes for crying out loud!) as the sultan walks upstairs. Flint proclaims that he is going to do whatever it takes which is codeword for cheating of course and he walks upstairs laughing. Sadly; the loser doesn't get to eat Flint's stereotypical hat again. I guess BS&P got the message on THAT one.
So we logically go to a look out tower in a prison as three dogsperson guards in brown security uniforms are guarding with billy clubs and the binoculars. We pan south east as Bouncer Beagle (Chuck McCann) is telling Bigtime that they need to get out of jail again as we see the Beagle Boys for the first time in NINE episodes walking around in a circle as Bigtime blows Bouncer off because they are watching them like buzzards. Geez; I wonder why. Perhaps because you BROKE OUT OF JAIL in the first episode of Treasure of the Golden Suns. Apparently; there are now four Beagle Boys as one of them apparently has turned to a life of crime natch. That leads to a ground shot as a air ballon of a cow with a blue hat (Huh?!) flies overhead as Burger and Al Khan Whizzer (see the first episode I ranted on for the joke) comment on the flying dairy balloon. Big Time blows him off as a deadhead (death reference #1) of course as Bouncer wonders about Thanksgiving as the balloon opens it's chute and four gas masks drop from the balloon. Big Time realizes the MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN now and he orders the Beagles to put them on. I betcha the whole place get the gas and the officers get knocked out...I check the DVD...Damn; I'm good as the prisoners get knocked out by the knockout gas.
Then a rope ladder gets brought down as Bouncer rubs his head and everyone gets on as the Cow Balloon of Doom hoists the Beagle Boys up to the balloon basket and Big Time proclaims that there is only one person stupid enough to break the law to free them and he calls out for his mother. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sadly; it's clearly a male driving the balloon as he turns around and blows Big Time off. Big Time asks why he busted them out as Flint wants them to do a heist for them and Big Time agrees because nothing is too tough for them. They busted into the Pentagon and Fort Knox with no problems see...But they refuse to go to Scrooge's Money Bin because they busted into it 300 times and failed badly. Flint declares WAR on Scrooge and agrees to give them the equipment they need in exchange for their manpower. Sounds fair to me as Big Time Beagle shakes hands on that one. Naturally; Big Time gets off a really lame pun (Let's get moo-ving!) as we logically go to...
...Scrooge reading the newspaper and he's not too happy about the Beagle Boys escaping prison again. He crumbles the newspaper up as he whines about Flint threatening him and the Beagle Boys escaping. Geez; I wonder why that they escaped in the first place Scrooge? We see him at his desk throwing the ball of newspaper which misses Louie's head by inches. Figures since Louie was slaughtered the most in Quack Pack. Scrooge is panicky because if he loses one penny in the next nine days, Flint will be the richest duck in the world and Flint wins the contract and becomes richer. I think we get the point already; no need to jackhammer it into us Dewey, Huey and Louie. I get enough of that in the new cartoons as it is. Scrooge then hears the Anti-Beagle alarm. We know this because a red siren light is going off on his desk. The nephews and Scrooge bail from the desk as it changes into a Central Control Computer System and the green curtains get shut down. Scrooge and the nephews sit down (must have been installed with the vault combination in Scrooge's Pet) as Scrooge turns on the map.
Sadly; Scrooge sees nothing..AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Scrooge then sees the vermin as we see people scatter away which leads to the obvious question. Why were they there in the first place? Are they protestors from the Communist Socialist Party or something? Anyhow; here comes the steel Beagle bus so you know Flintheart is SERIOUS BABEE! We cut to inside as Bigtime Beagle has the MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HARTS proclaiming that this is the moment the Beagle Boys have been waiting for. HA! As if the first 300 times wasn't THE MOMENT right Big Time? And they are ready as apparently Flintheart's first piece of equipment is the cloning device from Newton Gimmick. At least they haven't visited Larson and Gary....yet! Big Time tells them to fall out and the CLONES OF ABOMINATION run out making sure to make Big Time Beagle their doormat on the bus. HAHA! Big Time is the next Jimmy Hart. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! The Bouncer Clones all pull the black iron gate down with ease as we cut back to Dewey proclaims that the Beagle Boys called their cousins. Somehow I doubt that as the nephews want the police to help which is a smart move; but Scrooge refuses because it's his fortune and his fight. I guess it costs extra user fees to call the cops in Duckberg. And it's their annual picnic as he pushes a button which doesn't exist.....
So we cuts to Big Time as he tells Boom-Boom and Banzai Beagle to blast the wall apart. I didn't know the Beagle Boys had a Japanese cousin? Banzai Beagle loads the shell into the bazooka as Boom-Boom is set to ready, aim and fire. Sadly; Scrooge was ready for that as a trapdoor opens from under ground and the hands of death uses a cork plug to plug the bazooka. I think you can guess what happens to them when Boom-Boom fires it. Boom-Boom go Bye-Bye. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Next up to the plate is Buckeroo, Beanball and Blitzkrieg. So Blitzkrieg was a Beagle Boy before becoming a pro wrestler in WCW? Well; live and learn unless you are the Beagle Boys. Then you just make up absurd names starting with the letter B. I wonder if their father is Bastard Beagle. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Buckeroo, Beanball and Blitzkrieg Beagle charge onto the property; but the tennis net bounces them out of the episode and in Blitzkrieg's case, into professional wrestling which in these days is one notch down the dignity scale. Not so good bumps; but they are off-screen into some trash so it's fine.
Next up is Bifocal and Bumpkin as this is turning into a squash match now. Also; Babyface and Butterball Beagle run after. Babyface (Terry McGovern) is wearing the propeller cap by the way and actually appeared in other episodes after this. They dodge bombs as Bouncer and Bulls-Eye join in for fun. What is this; a World War One drill or something? Babyface get tripped up by the pink flamingo which has to be the silliest stop yet. Good bump on the face though by Babyface which was probably the reason why the spot was done. Bifocal gets squashed by the hand trees which begs the question: How stupid do you have to be to run IN the middle of two trees clearly shaped by hands? Bulls-Eye and Butterball run forward over the trap though as we cut to the top of the money bin as the IRON GLOBE OF 199'S drops from the top and rolls around the roof like a marble on a water slide. Okay; this episode is now officially overbooked. Bouncer tells Bulls-Eye to look up as Bouncer bails; but he looks up like an idiot and he gets MURDERED by the iron ball. HAHA! Bulls-Eye indeed. He jumps over the ball and is at the entrance; but there are two door panels clearly shown which is the signal for the next trap as Bouncer acts cocky and then gets MURDERED by the pancake squisher. Bouncer is now Bounce Flat Beagle. AHHAHAHAHAHA! I see he's auditioning for Darkwing Duck and that spot I think got him into In Like Blunt so blame him for all the Warner Brother spots various characters (including the main male characters from Rescue Rangers) tried to do. Bouncer blows himself up like a balloon and then goes punch drunk and drops dead which makes no sense at all.
So we cut to Big Time Beagle (who hasn't done any work at all except act like Jimmy Hart on speed) on top of the bus and he orders then to charge making sure to charge up the charge if you catch my drift. Everyone mutters as Huey is in his chair inside the Moneybin proclaiming that they got it. See; this is what should have happened in Gummi Bears when the ogres tried to get in Dumbwin the first time with the sleeping sand. Al Khan Whizzer Beagle has his white riot gear on which is a major fashion faux pas for him. He mocks Scrooge's security and then gets MURDERED by the loaded black boxing glove. THAT'S RACIST! Al Khan Whizzer goes flying out of the money bin and maybe out of the episode. Excellent MAN-SIZED bump off-screen and that is more to his speed.
Burger's turn (also in riot gear) as he does the smart move and crawl under the punching glove as we cut to Big Time Beagle with the radio transmitter as he asks Burger is he's still alive while the other Boys are bandaged up with various injuries. We head inside as Burger proclaims that he's near the vault right now and he should turn the corner as a vault like door (probably the fake one no doubt) opens and there is a white smell smoke coming out of it as Burger is overwhelmed by it and forced to the vault door. Burger walks and sees a cheese sandwich on top of a mouse trap. I think you can guess what Burger does next right?! Yeap; he's REALLY STUPID. I wonder if Drake and Burger exchanged notes on the subject. Big Time tries to stop him; but no dice as Burger get snapped as we see Burger coming out of the Money Bin with a big ass mouse trap on his nose. HAHA! Sure; it shouldn't have stopped him from moving on; but it's funny so I'll let the first logic break of the episode slide. Burger proclaims that he's in a real pinch. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.
So we get a shot of the Money Bin AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Read: After dark) as we see the Beagle bus bouncing around like the buildings in a Disney on-line video game. The door opens and Big Time Beagle comes out with the masked steel suit as he is mad and he's not going to take this crap anymore. He walks in as the pancake squisher (logic break #2 for the episode since it should have been used on Burger earlier) fails badly and we see Scrooge and the nephews proclaim that this is trouble. Scrooge bails as he wants to handle this himself and the nephews stall for him. This is turning into a bad wrestling match as Armor Big Time goes up the stairs and the flamethrower don't work either. Man; that suit must be heat proof as well since it should have caused Big Time to have a fever. Not a logic break; just weird. The nephews try every control on the CPU; but it fails as Armor Big Time is inside the office of Scrooge and near the vault. The nephews bail behind the chairs which still makes them a million times better than the Quack Pack nephews.
They would probably bail before Armor Big Time even gets a foot onto Scrooge's property since their function is flinging forks into the ceiling declaring there's nothing to do. We then cut to inside the money bin itself as Armor Big Time uses the metal cutter (which makes Scrooge's whining in Scrooge's Pet even more weak now) to cut a Star of David (first one in DTVA history I should point out...) and he goes inside. I didn't know Big Time was Jewish...and man; this is not going to look too well for Jymn Magon's reputation. You think that symbolism is bad; wait until Magica DeSpell makes her debut. Then the television critics will really have something to complain about. Sadly; logic break #3 for the episode beckons as the star vanishes into thin air as Scrooge brings in the tank. Okay; this is REALLY STUPID and logic break #4 for the episode. How in the hell did he keep THAT thing in the money bin? Scrooge pops from the tank and cuts a Clint Eastwood promo in him. Yeah; like that is going to scare him Scroogie? I think the logic break scares him more as Big Time proclaims that the suit can withstand a 60 MM shell which is pretty impressive methinks.
Sadly; the technology isn't advanced enough as Scrooge bought 61 MM shells to the tank party. I guess Scrooge felt overkill wasn't needed for these stupid Beagle Boys. I would have went for 70 MM shells myself. Big Time does some counting on his hand (despite only having one finger tops) and now he's scared. HAHA! He gets blasted out of the money bin of course and takes a really sick bump into the windshield of the bus and one of the injured Beagles was inside directly in the line of fire. HOLY CRAP?! I'm surprised that he wasn't impaled by the glass. Big Time tells him to drive already and the bus finally drives away before any more damage can be done to them. The nephews come out from the CPU cheering victory as we see Scrooge on a picnic table scaffold putting bricks into the SCOOBY DOO SNOW ANGEL SPOT. If he was trying to make me not notice the obvious connection; then he failed on that one. Sadly; it's not over yet as this will slow them down only and he needs something to really stop them so he can rest.
So that logically leads to morning as we see a big ass band-aid on the vault door (How silly can you get?) as the nephews pace outside waiting for Scrooge as he's been working in the Money Bin for hours. Louie calls Scrooge nutsoid and Dewey blows him off because Scrooge is sane. Thank goodness it's Scrooge; if it was Kit then Dewey would look silly in more ways than one. Scrooge cuts his sing-song promo because he has something to show them something as they open the vault door and Dewey mocks Scrooge's mental state as he has created the BIG BERTHA TANK OF DEATH which was later recycled for TaleSpin. How in the world can Jymn Magon say TaleSpin wasn't a Ducktales spinoff with a straight face? I mean the parallels are right in front of our faces that it isn't funny anymore. At least this tank doesn't break logic; it just breaks Scrooge's mental state.
Scrooge climbs up asks about the beauty of the tank as logic break #5 for the episode beckons as he states that he had it stored in his warehouse. So much for not breaking logic there Scroogie. If anyone opens the door; then kaboom as Scrooge acts insane. Dewey then tells him it's time for a nap and I say I agree. He needs one because the logic breaks are mostly ON HIM. Scrooge slams the vault door as he agrees with the nap as the cannon trap is in effect; but Scrooge forgot his cane and tries to open the door vault again (much to the pleads from Louie not to) and Scrooge gets blasted out of the money bin and breaks through about five different buildings in the process (I smell 9/11 cut here) and one of them involves a dogsperson lady taking a bath of course. And then the bullet goes into a pile of mattresses in a warehouse; and then bounces back through the holes as the lady jumps back into the tub with a towel around her breasts.
Bertha Bullet then goes back into the money bin and then into the cannon which of course explodes on impact as we cut to a park as a bunch of police officers (Chuck MacCann and Alan Young) are eating lunch. Geez; that's a lot of burgers they packed as they ask if they heard something and of course they don't. Then we cut to a far shot outside of the money bin as the bin gets crumbled as Big Time sees this as their chance. However; the cannon somehow stays somewhat intact (Logic break #6) and fires down allowing the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH to sink down into the underground depths of hell. Scrooge and the nephews get up as apparently Bertha took most of the damage and the bin is still standing. Scrooge goes over to DA...HOLE (god bless Baby Plucky!) as he sees four Beagle Boys with a wooden ladder run towards the bin and that ends the segment almost 11 and a half minutes in. This has been fun; but the logic breaks are really silly here.
After the commercial break; we go to an opposite shot as the four Beagle Boys with the wooden ladder run towards the entrance of the money bin and then pole vault as Scrooge goes to the conveniently placed glass safe of doom and breaks the glass to bring out STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD. Oops; wrong show as he brings out his blunderbuss and the boys run in from the hole and grab the nephews. Bouncer Beagle throws a brick into the blunderbuss hole and if Scrooge's fires it you can blame him for Drake's stupidity. I check the DVD....and it misfires; but doesn't explode. Huh? Explain THAT one kids?! The blunderbuss is limper than my sex life as the boys shove Scrooge away from the vault door and go inside much to Scrooge's protestations. They then notice that the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH is gone into the basement according to Huey.
One problem: Scrooge proclaims that there isn't a basement as Big Time proclaims that it went down the storm drain. You know; this is pretty good either way because Scrooge loses his money regardless if Flint gets it and Flint can win that way and assure himself that Scrooge never gets it back. The Beagle Boys walk off for some swimming and then pin Scrooge to the vault door just to be dicks. Ummm; I would have grabbed the nephews as well and use them as slaves. Oh wait; never mind. I forgot that the nephews must ALWAYS be protected. Disney's orders you know. Kit Cloudkicker would have a field day with the nephews. Which version; who cares?! Scrooge gets down and tries to fit in the hole on the bottom of the vault; but no go. However; the nephews plop down to the sewer system as the money has dropped downstream as expected. The nephews swear on their Woodchucks honor that they'll find it. Sadly there is a three path fork in the stream road; so the nephews can only hope on their Woodchucks honor.
So we cut to the nephews walking down the sewer stream whining that they'll never find the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH at this rate before the Beagle Boys do. I think you're way ahead of the game in terms of finding it at this point; so I wouldn't really complain right now. Dewey wants a boat and Louie asks where to find one IN A SEWER. Dewey finds his boat which is a rusty old oil barrel of laughs. Man; that has to be painful to ride on; but the nephews need something even if it could cause illness later on. So they stop the barrel and Huey refers to Chapter 56 of the LIBERAL RED BOOK OF LIES THE KIDS EDITION~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...I mean the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook on how to make a canoe using their Junior Woodchuck penknife. I wonder if that's the same knife Kit used in Louie's Last Stand?
So we head to a red fox (!!!) wearing a red suit with a pencil in his blue cap throwing a ball and jacks on the desk. Then he hears a weird bong and in through the door runs Scrooge demanding to know if this is the department of water. The fox blows him off as this is an oak counter top and asks how he might serve him. Scrooge wants the blueprints to the water systems or he's ruined. You know; telling someone they might be ruined isn't a good way to get something Scrooge McDuck. You sound like your panicking as the fox asks if he's kidding and Scrooge blows him off because he never kids about MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. The fox gets upset over Scrooge's treatment of him as he has another set of blueprints as Scrooge demands answers on that while holding the fox's ears. The fox (Frank Welker) tells him some guys were in there asking for the same thing. Scrooge asks if they look weird and the fox answers that he did notice that they were wearing black masks which brings out the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY from Scrooge. Scrooge takes the blueprints and storms out as the fox drops on his ass with a wussy bump welcoming him despite getting no thank you from Scrooge. How nice of him....
So we cut to inside the Beagle Bus as Big Time is reading the blueprints while Bouncer is driving the bus as he has quickly recovered from his injuries I see. Big Time gives the directions according to the blueprints as Bouncer honks on the horn for no reason other than to be a knob. He makes a left and of course he follows the directions exactly to the letter as he crashes into a store window and out the back of the wooden garage (Huh? In 1987?) and then crash lands into the elephant fountain nose first with a wussy bump. Sigh TMS. Big Time blows Bouncers driving skills off as apparently they went through a meat shop with the hot dogs grabbing the windshield wipers. So we cut to the sewers again as the nephews are rowing their oil barrel canoe as for the first time; the Junior Woodchuck Guide Book actually works! IT'S A MIRACLE! Louie is rowing on the back of the barrel as Dewey plays look out. And they notice all the sacks of money below the sewer grid below the street. Now they have to wait until Scrooge arrives who is probably out looking for the money himself.
We pan up to the grill as then we cut to the street as Scrooge is on the street following the pipes. This makes the Beagle Boys look like safety saints in comparison. He makes it to the grill and the nephews yell out to him which makes sense since his foot is ON the sewer bars. He looks down and notices them on his sacks of money. Now I see a logic break #7 since it's mostly sacks of money; but that makes no sense since most of his gold were NOT in sacks to begin with. And people wonder why I think TaleSpin is the better series? Scrooge kisses the sewer grill on that one. EEWWWWWWWW! GROSS! Thankfully; Scrooge spits the stink out in response. Finally; someone does the spot properly! Scrooge then asks if it's all there and Louie proclaims that it is. Never mind that none of the money was in SACKS to begin with. Huey then notices a floodgate and taps it with his foot saying that as long as it doesn't open they are safe. I betcha the floodgates open and the money and nephews going flying down into the sewer drain some more. I check the DVD...Damn; I'm good as Scrooge screams in disdain over this outrage. Scrooge turns around and sees on the far shot the Beagle Boys doing something which Scrooge proclaims that they are pumping the money into the reservoir according to the blueprints as Scrooge hides behind a mailbox. Well; at least it's not a puppy as Scrooge walks forward....
So we cut to deeper in the sewers as the nephews in their boat barrel float as the money goes flying. They go into the sewer waterfall and dive into the water forcefully and then Huey order them to grab the iron bar so that they are safe. The nephews sell and hold onto the black iron bars and ride on them while watching the money float away. Louie wonders how they will catch up to the money now as we cut to an alleyway as the Beagle Bus rides around as they arrive at the back of the reservoir. Big Time and his boys walks down off the buss with their miner gear this time and a blue bag. They'll need more than that to get all of Scrooge's money; unless they plan to stuff the nephews in their and bury them alive like bodies in a body bag. They go to the porthole as Burger wonder what is in the bag. I put 2:1 odds that it's a snake. Big Time calls it a surprise for the nephews. UH OH! The Beagle Boy go down into the sewers as we cut to the nephews walking on dry brick land now which makes no sense since we didn't see anywhere where the nephews could walk down. Man; this episode has been fun; but the logic is pulling my hair out. Huey then notices one of Scrooge's coins as they make a really notable track. 2:1 odds this is the Beagle Boys doing.
They get to another fork in the sewer road as Louie now is asking if there are alligators in the sewers. In Saint Canard; the answer is yes since Gumbo was a gator. Huey goes to the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook (heaven forbid I get punched again by the Bark fanboys.) and here come the Beagle Boys in their gator costume (check the hands; I'm not fooled guys). The nephews try to bail; but they have a meeting of the minds; and it wasn't at the Home Depot. They run stage right as Big Time and Bouncer take off their disguise mask and Big Time climbs down mocking the nephews for being so scared. Burger waves bye bye as we cut to the nephews running down the sewer drain as the nephews blow off the Water & Power Department for fluoridation and alligators and they want bottled water. Man; that just went over my head there Jymn. Then again; Magon was an expert in silly relevant history like that. You won't see that in the new cartoons.
And bottle water is just tap water guys. So we cut to Big Time checking the blueprints and he doesn't figure since Scrooge's money should be here. I see Baloo stole that line for Plunder and Lightning Part One from Big Time. Then we hear growling and see a real alligator coming (check the lack of stitching; I'm not fooled guys!) and Big Time slaps the gator thinking it's the Beagle Boys playing a joke. You are sooooooooo dead Big Time. Of course the other three boys are behind him pointing out the obvious that they aren't playing a joke and Big Time should get the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY right about....now. The Beagle Boys bail stage left as the gator chases them as it's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE BEAGLE BOYS EDITION~! The nephews make it to another floodgate (check the lever (WRONG LEVER!) on the right side of the door) and lean against it wondering if they hear anything. Huey blows off the gator as a walking suitcase which is funny since Big Time was carrying a blue duffle bag earlier. Louie thinks they are safe; but he leans on the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and it opens the floodgates and the nephews going flying into it as the segment ends 17 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we see the nephews sliding down a water slide (HA!) and they fly right into the water tank which contains the MONEY, MONEY,YEAH, YEAH and the animators got the logic right this time. Man; does that make TMS look weak from the earlier finding of the money by the nephews. They thank Louie for finding the money and Louie can only shrug on that response. Now they need to find Scrooge as we see Scrooge on the sidewalk (good for him not to jaywalk anymore) and then realizes that the city's pumping plant has monitoring equipment. Well; duh! He sees the monitoring plant and runs right in as he notices a red light, a yellow light and a green light and swears in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE (bless my kilts!) as he realizes that it's under this very building. He goes over to the conveniently placed wheel turner piper and turns the wheel which doesn't work as the glass breaks and it's STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD...Oh wait; it's only the Beagle Boys, my mistake. Bouncer and Burger pull the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and the wheel at the real pumps as they bring the ladder which has gone from wood to steel in a matter of moments. Good thinking there TMS! And you can blame Big Time's promo for this crappy Darkwing Duck episode Easy Come, Easy Grows.
So we cut to the nephews as Huey cannot believe this is happening again as the floodgates open again and we get the SEWER WAVE OF DEATH as the nephews screaming is terrible and contrived. Just wait until the next episode and you'll really see contrived acting from Russi Taylor; I assure thee. Scrooge is game and turns on his wheel of fortune and the nephews get swamped the other way in the water tug of war. At least the writers aren't protecting the nephews anymore in this episode. They get sucked into the big ass pipe in the background along with the sacks of money and then we get a cross-section pipe sucking spot just to waste time. Then we go to the split screen as Scrooge and Big Time continue to turn the wheels of fortune. You can tell this show was made in Japan just by the obvious anime spot they pulled off here. They blow off each other as the water meter reads into the red danger level and it breaks and spins around as Burger points out that there is too much water pressure. The wheel pops out (of would have if TMS animated one which they didn't) and Big Time proclaims that it's time to abandon ship which is lame. It should have been abandon water plant. The Beagle Boys run away like a bunch of scalded dogs (and since they are dogspeople; this is completely apporos) as there is more steam in the plant than in a hot tub. Scrooge breaks his wheel of fortune and he bails out stage right proclaiming that the place is going to blow; DUH! That leads to the water pillars of doom rising from the street as Scrooge eats water from the hydrant and takes a decent bump with his place on the sidewalk. OUCH! That is going to leave a mark.
Scrooge gets rained on as the nephews continue the pointless pipe sucking spot cross section as we cut to a penthouse condominium building as a female condo saleswoman (voiced by Hal Smith (HUH?!)) explains how awesome the drapes, furniture and carpet is. And the saleswoman is a pig female who seems to have a bare chest as the red coat doesn't even cover it. Bad, bad form there TMS which explains why it was voiced by a man; the pig is a male cross dresser. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! They go into the room with the dogsperson couple (and one of them looks like the male from Horse Scents apparently) as female dogsperson (Joan Gerber) states that it's perfect while the male (Frank Welker) isn't so sure making sure to call her princess. The pine green dress with red pearls on her necklace is certainly an eyeopener since we can clearly see parts of her bare back. Geez; did Disney get PG-13 all of a sudden? The salesman pretending to be a woman shows the kitchen which has a pink fridge and red cabinets as then we hear the rumble as that SHOCKS the buyers and then we cut to the sink as it spits out money. This makes the “It Prints Money” jokes for Nintendo look like the dumb jokes that they are. Dollar Ice Cubes comes out the fridge which has turned from pink to blue/green. How about that for a logic break?! And then just to break logic again; the oven spits out sacks of money which makes no sense at all since an oven doesn't have a water pipe.
The buyers and cross dressing salesman bails like a bunch of scalded dog; or in the cross dresser's case; ham. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm....We pan to the kitchen side as the pipes burst out with money and it fills the family room as the couple and cross dressing saleswoman pops out and the couple agrees to the apartment. The saleswoman brings out a pen and paper to sign the deed over; but the nephews pop up and steal it from her and then bail like a bunch of chickens. The three buyers who aren't ducks go to the elevator as they need to stop them before they reach the lobby. They go inside the elevator; but the nephews pop out from the planter and go to the elevator control switch and pull it which we cut to the lobby as the three non-mallard people walk out; but don't see the nephews. They try to go back in; but the elevator door closes and the elevator is switched off as they bang the doors in protest. The saleswoman of course screws up (more to the point TMS) the pushing of the buttons.
So we cut to Scrooge on ground level at the sidewalk as the nephews yell for him to look up. Scrooge notices that the condo is swelling with his money as he runs into the lobby and demands that the saleswoman allow him to buy the penthouse and the male portion of the couple swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (darn minute.) as he is going to buy it. Scrooge raises it to double; the couple goes triple so Scrooge trumps all by buying the entire stupid building and the saleswoman shakes hands with Scrooge as the building is his. The female portion of the couple bawls like a little baby and does a good job of it. Not like some certain nephews will do next episode. Scrooge calls for the lads to switch on the elevator and the elevator door opens and Scrooge goes in. The saleswoman wonder how he did that as we cut back to an alleyway as Big Time Beagle complains about losing three cubic acres of money. Burger then notices the building is leaning and swelling as he calls it the Leaning Tower of Moola. HAHA! So we cut to Scrooge and the nephews swimming in the money as Scrooge can now start his secret plans to ship it over to Macaroon for the weigh in. However; Big Time calls him out and nothing is going to stop them now.
Big Time is outside in front of the building and Big Time tells the Beagles to charge again. We got 90 seconds left in the episode so that shall be quick. The nephews wonder what they can do now as Scrooge suddenly cannot guard it anymore and feels so tired from a lack of sleep I guess. Dewey then realizes that they can cut the power to the elevator again and Scrooge calls it a good idea. Damn; I just knew they would repeat the spot to end this episode. The nephews swim through the coins as we cut to the Beagle Boys tying up and gagging the saleswoman and couple. I thought they left already; which isn't a logic break, just odd. Sadly; the plan backfires as Big Time has hammered the cut off switch into silly putty with Bouncer on bottom. They get into the elevator as we cut to Scrooge trying to pull the switch; but no dice. Scrooge then goes insane for real and tries to hide the money; but Huey tries to stop him because it won't work since there isn't much to hide it with. Kind of like my room nowadays. Scrooge goes to the plant as the nephews plead for him to become sane and throw the ice cube dollar right in his face; which snaps him out of it. Scrooge then cooks up a plan and proclaims that he'll give it to them and the nephews are SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order).
I'm calling the finish right now: The nephews and Scrooge throw money onto the top of the elevator and that causes the elevator to collapse and squash the Beagle Boys flatter than a pancake. The Beagle Boys laugh hard as they think they have a hope chest. Sorry Big Time; I've seen the chest and there is no hope for you. Damn; I'm good as they say. Or because it's too obvious in this case as the nephews and Scrooge throw more sacks of money onto the top of the elevator. The elevator cables finally snap and the elevator shaft free falls and they bump like crazy out of the elevator door into the lobby. Predictable; but TMS animated it very well; so it wasn't a loss at all. The Beagle Boys are done as the police officers finally arrive (one with a pistol and one with a billy club) and the chief of police (Chuck McCann) asks if they surrender. If someone has a loaded pistol; I would certainly do what he says as Big Time and his boys wave the white flags to give up. Big Time looks like a wimp now as we cut to see the nephews cheering for victory as Scrooge yawns and wonder if he really did and then faints dead away. He is sound asleep for the first time in about three days as he snores like my dad while the nephews use a money sack as a pillow under his head to end the episode at 21:15. A pretty fun episode; but it felt kind of flat as TMS and the writers broke logic out of the wazoo. Ironically enough; the finish was too predictable; but it was the best thing animated in the episode. *** (60%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; the first episode in the second major story arc of the Ducktales series is in the books and while it was a solid effort; it fell flat due to the ten or so logic breaks and mistakes in TMS' animation. I did like the attempt of the break in by the Beagle Boys at the beginning of the episode which looked mighty fine; but once Scrooge invoked the tank in his own money bin; the episode got quite silly. Plus; I called the finish about 30 seconds before it happened which to TMS' credit was well animated so at least the writers looked good after looking pretty bad throughout the entire episode. The chase was fun; but it was also really silly. At least the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook worked this time and I also see that the logic break from Bigger They Are; The Louder They Oink wasn't a monopoly after all in the Beagle Boys ditching the crocodile even though we didn't see it. Overall; a solid middling episode, but it could have easily been a **** episode if the logic breaks were so glaring. So next up is A Whale Of A Bad Time which contains the most hilarious scene in DTVA history. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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