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Catch As Cash Can Part Two
A SEA MONSTER ATE MY ICE CREAM!!
Just a small preview of the most hilarious scene in DTVA history. Wow; I'm up to ten episodes ranted in a month too. So let's rant on and find out if the episode measures up to the hype shall we...?!
This episode was written by Jymn Magon, Bruce Talkington and Mark Zaslove. The story is edited by Jymn Magon. The script is consulted by Tedd Anasti and Patsy Cameron and the teleplay is done by Anthony Adams. Anthony Adams was BARELY starting his career as a writer at this point as he did an episode of Foofur before this series and then did She Wolf of London soon after this. He believe it or not is a teenage rock guitarist and was in original plays and musicals. So for the ADM: if you think the Jonas Brothers was JUST an isolated incident; witness Anthony Adams and be proven wrong again. That's why I don't like you as a group.
Opening Moment #1: The title card is called A Whale of A Bad Time which gives away the joke in advance. I think they should have gone for A Monster Of A Bad Time or A Sea Of A Bad Time so that there is some suspense to the whole episode.
We begin with a shot of blue sky and then pan down to a sky shot of Scrooge's Mansion as we cut to the window where there is a massive heatwave (check Huey's #1 fan in the background) as Huey is listening to unconfirmed reports of a giant sea monster sighted near the Marinara Trench on the television with Louie and Dewey on the bunk bed. This is the third such sighting according to the reporter (Peter Cullen in his Optimus Prime voice) as Huey is amazed at all this. According to Louie; these are fish stories on par with Loch Ness monsters and straight A report cards. So these ducks are straight B students? That's not bad all things considered. At least you're not straight F students; if you are not implying that already. Dewey wants to listen in to the reporter as we see a dogsperson with glasses, brown hair, black suit and black tie which reveals that he is doing the news. We know this by the globe on the northeast area of the nephews' television screen. He says nothing of note other than the fact that there is seven days left before the big weigh in. Huey turns off the television as we see the anime split screen in the nephews television set which apparently is enough for Huey to blow Flintheart off as a hothead old penny pincher. Okay; that is overkill Huey. You had me at hothead old pincher there. Dewey blows him off because it's hot and he fanning himself as the air conditioner is busted and there are zero ice cubes. Geez; Scrooge is SO cheap if the AC is busted. Louie suggests that they go over to Scrooge McDuck's ice cream factory and mooch a sample.
So that logically leads to the ice cream factory which is pink in color and has Scrooge's picture on it. And it's RIGHT BESIDE THE DAMN MONEY BIN. Okay; this pretty much gives away the whole scheme in advance. I mean; why build an ice cream factory beside your money bin unless you were using it for something other than ice cream; if you catch my drift. The nephews make it to the front door and we get a near shot of Scrooge holding an ice cream cone with the cone having a dollar sign on it. Like you cannot make it any more obvious than that. Apparently; there are 131 flavors of ice cream which is BS since most ice cream factories churn out about half that in real life. He must mean 131 ways to sneak his money to the weigh in. Louie proclaims that the factory was put up fast and I say: Doesn't that reveal something so obvious guys? If Scrooge had built this five miles away and used a special suction machine then this would make total sense.
We see various ice cream trucks in the background and one being driven as the nephews follow it out back. And then we see a pig security guard (voiced by Hal Smith) telling them to scram as the nephews try to introduce themselves as friends of Scrooge McDuck. Okay; this is not out of place so at least Scrooge is making an effort to not make this look obvious. No dice as he blows them off and pushes them out because he doesn't care if they are Frosty's sister and that Scrooge left instructions for no one to be let in. Which includes nobodies like them. HA! Thank you for basically exposing Scrooge's plan there pal. I suspect he will be fired soon. Dewey calls him a grouch but Huey decides that forgetting him is a better plan and flag down an ice cream truck as we see another ice cream truck driving and the guy in it looks like either a zombie or a really convincing zombie robot. Either answer is acceptable at this point as the second one drives out and no sells the nephews running. The nephews call him a rude dude and there is something fishy going on here. Well; of course there is guys. No one would hire bad ice cream truck zombies unless something was fishy if you catch my drift.
So we go to the scene changer as the nephews arrive BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (Sunset) at the mansion as we cut to Mrs. Beakly and Webby inside the dining hall waiting for the nephews to arrive as Webby wants to eat; but cannot because Mrs. Beakly has manners see; but the nephews run in and show none to Beakly as they want to talk to Scrooge. Beakly is pretty PISSED on that and explains that he's at the airport loading his money and won't be back until tomorrow. The nephews try to leave; but Beakly goes all fussy on them and they are frozen as Scrooge left strict instructions not to be disturbed. And they should sit down now as the nephews sell lest her fussiness turns to violence. The nephews swear in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (shoot) and Webby asks if she can eat now. I smell a gag coming for her as we head to a shot of the mansion AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we head to the nephews room as they do a crappy version of the “WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH” snore spot from episode #2 and then they hear ice cream trucks and go to the window wondering what is going on. Man; these mallards are light sleepers as we see the ice cream trucks driving down en masse. As if this doesn't give away the scheme even more so.
They are going to check this out for Scrooge as we cut to a pan shot of the driving ice-cream trucks as the nephews use two skateboards and a crowbar (the redneck choice for keeping airplanes steady; recommended by 9 out of 10 pilots named Baloo. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm..) as Louie unpicks the blood red lock easily and then they hop inside calling this easy as Eskimo Pie. They notice that the lockers are warm and open one and it reveals MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH! Okay; the plan is really a genius, except building your factory about 100 feet from the money bin is only going to make it obvious for the heels later on. Dewey then accuses them of stealing Scrooge's money. Umm; if you say so Dewey. Huey proclaims that they follow and see where they are taking it as we head to the docks to a huge tugboat ship as the gold is being put onto a conveyer belt as we see a short How It's Made promo as Louie notices a man in dark clothes which his clearly Scrooge McDuck. The back of his head is a dead giveaway as Huey grabs a sack of money and climbs out of the truck and blows the Dark Scrooge off and dumps a sack of money right on his head which is a absolute sick bump as he get knocked out cold. Louie has the crowbar as Huey jumps onto his chest (this is like QP Huey on Enlightened Wu; only a lot less racist) and demands answers as he lifts the sack of money and of course it is Scrooge. I called it 30 seconds before it happened.
They ask what they are doing here as Dewey wonders why Scrooge is stealing his own money and Scrooge grabs his beak to be quiet because Flintheart's spies are everywhere. You know; it's too late Scrooge. Maybe you should have built your factory about five miles away from the money bin and then it would have been a lot less obvious. He doesn't trust Flintheart (so it was HIM that drove Kit into being the cynical being that he was) as we cut to the docks and see the double periscope as Louie puts all the pieces together on this scheme that I put together about three minutes ago. Well; at least we got the Scooby Doo thing out of the way so we can get into the real fun of the episode. Dewey calls this slick as Scrooge is using two boatloads of ice cream to carry the money towards Macaroon. The periscope of doom sinks into the sea as Scrooge puts the sack of money onto the belt and proclaims that he's the richest duck in the world..and so we logically go to....
ATTENTION ALL DISNEY TELEVISION FANS: We come to the most hilarious scene in DTVA history. The following contains scenes of violence, extreme laughter and bad imaging of mental illness. Viewer discretion is strongly advised! AND NOW FOR THE FUN PART OF THIS EPISODE......
It is morning as we get a shot of the mansion and head inside to the dining room (which the table has turned round and they sit in comfy red chairs. I guess Duckworth changed the area; or it's a new area. No logic break there; just odd. We see Scrooge ask for the maple syrup in a nice way and Webby offers it as Dewey is the only one who isn't at the table. I also see the nephews took their hats off in respect so this must be special pancake day for the family. Webby tries to take a bite of her pancakes; but Beakly stops her because Dewey is not here and here comes Dewey proclaiming that Mr. Wimpleman is here to see him. UH OH! Let the funny stuff commence as Scrooge addresses him as his accountant (he must have several of them) as he tells Dewey to show him in as Wimpleman comes in. He's a dog with freckles and eyeglasses (man there are sure a lot of blind people in Duckberg) wearing a fashion faux pas blue bow tie; brown suit and brown pants. Mr. Wimpleman (Tony Anselmo in a rare non-typecast Donald Duck role) also has the weirdest nasal voice I have ever heard as he greets Scrooge. Scrooge asks Wimpleman to explain his presence as Wimpleman has good news and bad news. Scrooge wants the bad news and Wimpleman proclaims that some of his goods from his factory got lost. Scrooge wants the good news as Wimpleman makes the most fatal error of his career as he proclaims that only a boatload of ice cream sank as Scrooge's reaction to it is absolutely priceless.
Wimpleman proclaims that a sea monster has been sighted and it's far too late for Scrooge to back off as he goes absolutely bats*** insane as he grabs Wimpleman and destroys the entire pancake filled table. Wimpleman runs away like a scalded dog (OH THE IRONY!) and Scrooge jumps onto the table and he cannot be stopped as in his own words: A SEA MONSTER ATE MY ICE CREAM! And he just keeps going on and on like a madman and then jumps upside down and takes some really sick MAN-SIZED bumps ON HIS HEAD about 15 times (Seriously!) as Beakly eats pancake. HOLY FREAKIN CRAP?! No wonder some people think Gyro Gearloose is a total wuss (See episode #3 of Treasure of The Golden Suns for the same spot Gyro did; but needed a pogo stick helmet). Beakly pulls the pancake as she thinks that it's some ice cream as Huey grabs onto Scrooge's ass and tells her that it's really his fortune as Scrooge pushes out and continues to go psycho crying like a baby as Webby proclaims that she'll never get to eat now. That gag would have worked better if they didn't try it out last night and Beakly was a heartless bitch which she isn't. Besides; the real gag is still going on so who cares what Webby thinks; Scrooge is MONSTER OVER now.
Scrooge jumps down from the table (and still going on all this time) and manages to do the best magic trick of the land by pulling the table cloth from the table and somehow the nephews stay on without tripping or even selling the thing. Scrooge eats the table cloth and now the nephews have to stop him before he starts eating Webby as the nephews and Scrooge do some whirlwind spots which shows Scrooge looking like a dog on one spot and then the psycho Scrooge finally stops as the tablecloth became a makeshift straightjacket over him. Scrooge proclaims that he has all the psycho stuff out of this system and then he hops away as he is going to salvage the rest of his fortune which completely clinches the most hilarious scene I have ever witnessed. I know excellent business men aren't this paranoid and psycho; but really when disruption is in effect; you have to be paranoid and a little psycho in order to be serious about winning. That is why the spot is not only apporos in one sense; but also extremely funny. Sadly; it's a little less funny then it used to be in 1987 since I know mental illness a lot better and this could be offensive to some people. It doesn't offend me because despite my mental state; I'm not THAT thin skinned. I might not be thick skinned; but even I have my limits the other way. I still think the scene was incredibly funny and now the episode has to FOLLOW THAT which might be a lot less funny later on....
So we head to sea in a tugboat as Scrooge and the nephews are in diving suits telling Beakly on the near shot that they are going to dive down there. Mrs. Beakly tells Scrooge to be careful and Webby tells him to watch out for the sea monster. Scrooge (who manages to get his top hat in the diving helmet; the cad) tells her that there is no such thing as sea monsters. Scrooge and the nephews dive in and we go underwater as there are no sailing ships around so the money must be safe. Sadly; there are three navy officers (check the anchor symbol on their diving uniforms) with spear guns ordering them to halt. Scrooge comes over and protests this outrage because it's his ship because he owns the ship. The dogsperson (Peter Cullen) with the red hair blows him off because the ship is officially quarantined by the Navy. Scrooge blows him off because he's going down there and the frogman proclaims that he's going to shoot anyone who gets too close with his spear gun. Okay; that is a credible threat there Scroogie. Scrooge insults him as a mop-hugging (HA!) barnacle brain (Double HA!) jar head (oooo..fighting words there Scrooge.) and tries to blitz the frogman and Louie grabs his ankles because there are less painful way to get his money back. DAMMIT! And this blow off was going so well too.
Besides; I think Scrooge could take him too. So we cut to a far sky shot of the liner as Scrooge and the nephews use a turtle's belly as a slave. Well it took ten episodes before they mocked TMNT, might as well accept it that they are jealous of TMNT's ratings. See; this is how you walk underwater according to the LIBERAL RED BOOK OF LIES THE KIDS EDITION~! POW! OUCH! Umm...The Junior Woodchuck Guide Book as they get over the barbed wire fence (pointless since swimming above it all would have made sense as well; but they were hiding from the guards so it was to be expected. We cut to the shot of the ship as there is a huge hole and the money is gone. Although Scrooge and the nephews have to swim in to waste more time before they finally see the same thing as there is nothing but fish as it's empty, DUH! Scrooge then accuses the Navy of stealing his gold; which of course they didn't. Even the Navy wouldn't blast open a ship like that. I predict that the frogman will find them and surround them in about thirty seconds from now... I check the DVD.... And I am so good as the flashlight shines and the babyfaces are forced to freeze.
So we get some good music for a while and then we cut to Donald Duck's FCC Navy Ship from outside as Dewey comments on it. So this is Donald Duck's second episode in Ducktales and that one was fun so let's see if he can do it again. We cut to inside a naval hallway as a navy uniformed guard takes the QUACKEROONIES OF DOOM with a navy sailor with a pistol with the longest pipe I have ever seen behind them. Louie hopes that they can say hello as the door opens into Admiral Grimitz's office (so claims the aide which is voiced by Chuck McCann) and Disney Captions actually gets his name right. OH MY GOD! They look so stupid now after the Admiral Clemons incident. Do these guys even CHECK their work before releasing it?! Scrooge storms in and demands answers to where his cash is; calling him a pilfering piranha. Admiral Grimitz rises from his chair (a dogsperson with higher rank uniform and voiced by Peter Cullen again) as he officially makes his DTVA debut for rant purposes. He is basically a tweener as he is considered a commanding heel to Donald and a freedom fighting babyface to everyone else.
Grimitiz blows him off because he doesn't have it which proves my point earlier. Scrooge wants to know who and Grimitiz blows him off because it's a matter of national security. In other words; the Navy didn't steal it and an evildoer did and Grimitiz cannot give details on it. Scrooge threatens to call the president and have him do KP until he's 83. In other words; he'll be doing Kim Possible until he's 83. Yeah right Scrooge?! Considering the ages in that show; that's not much of a threat. It'll only balance the show out further and make your show look weaker. Good pounding on the table to sell the idea though. Grimitiz blows him off and Scrooge gets onto the table and tells him to stay out of the way. Scrooge storms out with the nephews and slams the door so hard; half of his books fall down from the selves. Man; that is one unstable room as Grimitz orders his aide to bring in Seaman Donald Duck. All right! Now Grimitz is doing something good; use Donald Duck to do his dirty work. Hey; Donald Duck is funny and you don't send a humorless dog to do a funny cartoon duck's job. AHHAHAHAHAHA! I can see why Cartoon Duck Syndrome wasn't so bad; even though it would turn that way a few years after this.
So we get the scene changer as Grimitz puts all his books back onto the shelves and the doors open and in comes Seaman Donald Duck. Donald Duck salutes him and then slams the door hard causing the books to fall down again. HAHA! Memo to FCC Navy: Invest in more stable book shelves next time. Grimitz tries to lose his temper much to Donald's concerns; but he recoils as this happens all the time. Riiiiiiiggggghhhhttt. Are we on Candid Camera or something sir? Grimitz explains that Scrooge's ship was sunk by his new super secret sub as Donald looks excited as Grimitz fixes up the place and proclaims that Doctor Horatio Bluebottle was the thief who just happens to be the inventor of the sub. Geez; I wonder why he stole it? Anti-war; pro-terrorist guy perchance?! Donald asks how he could help and Grimitz simply tells him to keep him out of his hair (as if he had any to begin with HAR HAR!) and don't let him out of his sight. Donald salutes on that one as Grimitiz goes to his desk and gets an invisible beeper and pats Donald's back to stick on it as Donald proclaims that he'll let him know about it. They salute each other as Donald gets to join Scrooge and the nephews and Donald is excited while we get a good shot of the red beeper on his back just to force the point. Donald then casually walks out and doesn't forget to slam the door again and the books go flying again complete with musical tune just to piss Grimitiz off. HAHA! Like I said: Don't be cheap with book shelves. That's the lesson for the day kids. It's always the never spoken morals that get a show over so good.
So we logically go out to sea as the yacht of Scrooge's follows behind the second tugboat filled with gold as we cut to inside as Scrooge and Donald are sitting on top of the mountain of gold. Scrooge is thankful for Donald getting permission to come along. Donald eats his sandwich as he proclaims that he and the admiral are buddies. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Donald Duck is so damn funny to even mention that; even more so since Scrooge has his blunderbuss off trigger during the whole conversation. Scrooge blows him off as Donald just sits there and whistles as we cut to the yacht as we see Dewey with the compass telescope (in gold no less) as Beakly assures Huey that Donald will be all right and they are keeping an eye out for things if funny business occurs. Business that doesn't involve Donald Duck doing the funny of course. Webby has her camera ready to get a good picture of the sea monster as Beakly tries to tell her that there are no such things and then....and then she uses the telescope and panics. Webby gets all giddy like Molly Cunningham on speed and the nephews see that it's not a sea monster; but a giant whale which completely kills the continuity of the joke they were shooting for. The KILLER WHALE OF DOOM swims towards the boat as it grabs onto the top of the boat and shakes it. Sadly; it's clear that it's a robot (the steel like top of it gives it dead away) and this is one of those time where a CONTINUITY ERROR would have helped create some suspense. The nephews scream badly and that ends the segment almost 11 and a half minutes in.
Interesting Note #1: Okay; now I'll explain myself on the joke not being paid off here: Even though the writers of this episode forgot; Don Rosa didn't forget for some reason and he would be hired to write two episodes of TaleSpin as a retirement gift. He wrote the episode It Came From Beneath the SeaDuck which is my favorite episode of all time which features Kit and Molly fighting a giant sea monster. A real squid like octopus and in one of them “stars are aligned” moments; the sea monster did what Scrooge went psycho over, as he for the finish ate Molly's ice cream (known as Frosty Pep which was filled with Hot Red Pepper; a spot lifted from Saturday Night's Main Event Halloween Show when a kid put hot red pepper into Roddy Piper's Halloween Chocolate.). I find it quite hilarious that the writers killed the joke for Ducktales; but Don Rosa himself paid the joke off in ANOTHER series. Now you see why people called TaleSpin a Ducktales wannabe. Another “stars are aligned moment”: The episode title is based on It Came Beneath The Sea and guess who wrote that movie. If you said the late Hal Smith; you win the no prize.
After the commercial break; as we get the killer sub whale to continue shaking the boat like it's his bitch as we cut to inside as Scrooge and Donald race on gold without any success whatsoever as Scrooge swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (Holy Jonah! I was hoping Disney Captions screwed up and said Holy Jonas just for a laugh at their expense.) and they drop into the mouth of the machine whale (which is clear from the red pipe structure as the nephews bawl their eyes out in such a hilarious fashion on par with Cubbi's “It's Not Fair!” blast from the episode Up, Up & Away. With all due respect to Russi Taylor; she tired but it still sounds like a middle age woman trying to act like a child and it fell flat. Personally; the scene itself is quite awesome; but I feel a little cheated. If they used real children acting; this scene would have been beyond awesome to watch. The FCC Navy sailors manage to pop up which drives Huey insane (Webby and Beakly's crying is much better by the way) as he goes for the safety inner tube; but Dewey shows the error in thinking because they were still in the hull. And here comes the FCC Navy to the rescue according to Louie as the ship appear in the distance while Beakly and Webby sell the sob spot so damn well. So we logically go into the belly of the Killer Whale Sub as Scrooge and Donald pop up and they are all right with no injuries whatsoever. Which shows that Donald also has the same gravity laws of heavy metals applied to him as Scrooge.
Donald and Scrooge proclaim that they are alive as Scrooge realizes that both boatloads of his fortune are here as he deduces that this is a machine as Donald blows his cover because it's the FCC Navy's stolen sub and Scrooge is not pleased with that. Donald explains that there was an inventor named Doctor Bluebottle as we cut to the FCC Navy ship inside as Grimitz shows a blueprint of the killer whale sub to the other babyfaces while a sailor sails the ship. Grimitz answers Beakly's question of a whale in order to out maneuver anything in the water. It's called the S.S. Moby (Funny since Moby Dick is legal in Disney Television Animation. See Bad Reflection On You Part Two for the moment.) and it's so fast no one can catch it. Sadly; sonar and torpedoes don't work on it as Webby is getting panicky now. However; Grimitz proclaims that they'll find him because a homing device he put on Donald will work as he goes over to the world computer map and pushes a red button on it as we see a missile like yellow symbol in the middle of the screen and Huey is happy as now they can hunt that tin fish even though a whale is a mammal. Oh well; it's fake so it really doesn't matter if it's a logic break or not.
So we cut to an elevator glass like device (in a sub? It must be a HUGE sub for that to be installed) as we see in the background enough weapons to take down an entire country. Scrooge even points it out to me so you know the FCC Navy is as insane as the US government under George W. Bush. The elevator goes up to the control center (I think) as Scrooge and Donald walk out from the elevator and slowly walk towards the control room. We know this because there is a joystick on the front of the door. That sequence looks quite choppy since there was no door where Donald and Scrooge were walking to; but it was a monitor screen. I'm calling logic break #1 for the episode 13 minutes in. Scrooge proclaims that they need to stop this madman at any cost as they open the door and Scrooge peeps in ssshhing Donald.
We then cut to the monitor screen as Doctor Bluebottle (Chris Barat sezs it's Chuck MacCann voicing him in Burger Beagle's voice I might add) as he tells Flint (on the screen) that this worked like a charm. Like there was any doubt who was behind Bluebottle's misdeeds. Remember that Flint was going to do anything to win and he meant ANYTHING. Flint tells Bluebottle to stay under water for six more days until he wins the weigh in contest with Scoorge as Scrooge hears on from behind the side control panel as he states the obvious. Flint also tells him that he'll rig the No-bill Prize as well for Bluebottle. Okay; he didn't really say that; but it is implied. Doctor Bluebottle is just a midget dogsperson wearing a cyan blue coat, black bow tie and red shoes. He is also old with a white beard and oversized glasses to show that he's not a heel scientist stereotype; although the white gloves do not help him in any way. He also has Wimpleman's nasal voice over too which made me think Tony Anselmo was voicing him even though it's really Chuck McCann (so sezs Chris Barat).
He is really giddy about it since he missed it ten straight years because FCC Navy projects are DQ'ed from the running. Well that makes sense since the FCC Navy is WAR while No-Bill has a peace prize. See how easy that was to figure out?! And then Flintheart outright says that he'll rig it in his favor this year more or less. Bluebottle proclaims that Einstein and Fermi will have to share honors with him and then laughs so badly that it's too funny not to mock. Flint then drops the cover of Time Magazine, Newsweek, Popular Mechanics and Scientific America. HOLY CRAP?! And you thought the Shell scene from Shell Shocked was just a one time thing? And people still think TaleSpin is IN THE SAME UNIVERSE AS DUCKTALES?! Flint proclaims that Bluebottle owes him one and cuts the conversation short and then the screen does some red target signals as the super sub voice (Joan Gerber) screams as Bluebottle that it's red alert time and the screen shows the FCC Navy ships and airplane coming to him. Bluebottle is SHOCKED and APPALLED as he wonders how they found him.
Bluebottle pushes a blue button (OH THE IRONY!) and he wants snooper sound as he uses the periscope to pop out of the water and focus on the main FCC Navy ship front as Grimitiz explains that he'll stun it with depth charges and hope Bluebottle surrenders. Dewey and Huey wonder about Scrooge and Donald and Grimitz hopes Bluebottle hasn't found them which is their fatal error as Bluebottle is now APPALLED that Scrooge is inside as he turns around the chair and tells the computer to find them. The voice computer decides to do a video search and the nine television screens all show various parts of the room and of course the bottom left one blows Scrooge and Donald's cover. Sadly; they are also behind Bluebottle's chair. HAHA! He points at the screen as he is clueless to the irony of it all and then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and then turns around as Donald blows him off for ignoring him. Blueobottle then pushes another blue button (He just doesn't get it doesn't he?) as he wants to flee like a scalded dog. Which is totally apporos in this case as he raises his chair into the air and then it turns into a chair airplane as it flies around the room. Now you know this sub is completely overbooked. Figures; knowing the FCC Navy.
He then invokes the double girly manhood laser on the ducks and they scatter. It's good to know that I can finally use my dick jokes on this guy. He should be Norton Nimuel's boyfriend. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! ZAP! OUCH! Ummm....Donald decides to get PISSED OFF (The FCC Navy and Eisner is not going to like this) as he goes to the control panel and pounds on the blue and pink buttons in which brings out the flamethrower which MURDERS Scrooge's top hat. Donald is just asking for a fleecing there as Donald apologizes for that gaffe. Oh; your sorry about doing that unintentionally; sure Donald. Bluebottle flies around and pushes another blue button which invokes the fire hose. This guy is making Norton's manhood look like a giant pussy now. Donald counters with the giant red umbrella (Wow...The FCC Navy thought of everything. No wonder the country is so screwed out of money.) and Scrooge eats water. HAHA!
Donald has had enough (duh) and then goes to the big ass red lever (WRONG LEVER!) as he threatens Bluebottle to knock it off of he blows up the ship. Bluebottle flies down and calls Donald's bluff on the self-destruct lever (WRONG LEVER!). Donald calls his bluff and Scrooge cheers for him to do it. I'm calling logic break #2 for the episode right there because Scrooge should be panicking. It doesn't matter if Bluebottle ultimately says that it's just a switch to dump Scrooge's gold into the deepest trench in the ocean (which he does say to blow off Donald); the ship blows up, the gold drops and everyone dies inside. Same result as Scrooge gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and tries to stop Donald which is enough of a distraction for Bluebottle to press another blue button (I sense a funny ironic trend going on here) as the rope spits from the top of the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and ties up Scrooge and Donald in a pretty neat spot.
Donald gets PISSED off that he rants like a foul mouth sailor and bounces like a manic with MAN-SIZED bumps on the ass. This episode just isn't complete without Donald Duck as the CPU voice calls out for dangerous noise levels and Bluebottle agrees as Bluebottle uses another blue button and the rope ties Donald's beak shut. Hey; mister, that's logic break #3 for the episode since he was bouncing most of the time. Try tying their knees; that should stop the bouncing. Bluebottle proclaims Game Over as he pushes yet another blue button (sixth time in the episode no less) as the JAWS OF HALF LIFE and grab the top part of the rope as Bluebottle proclaims that he is going to fire them out of the torpedo tubes and say hello to Charlie Tuna for him as he laughs badly. What is with all these real product promos on a children's cartoon show. Even more so; none of them are toys. They get dragged stage left as the segment ends sixteen and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; as the JAWS OF HALF LIFE continue to drag our adult male heroes much more smoothly this time around as there are explosions outside jarring their bodies a bit. We cut to outside the killer whale sub as there are navy depth charges (which look like red soda can exploding by the way) as Bluebottle is APPALLED that they found him. Bluebottle then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and returns as he pushes the yellow button (so much for continuing the blue button puns) to drop the babyfaces and demands to know who brought a homing device. Scrooge tells the truth while Donald goldbricks which Bluebottle goes to Donald's back and grabs the homing device as he drops the device on the floor and stomps it as TMS blows the spot when it crumbles as it was smashes about two times before the real smash occurs. So we go to Grimitz's homing device computer and it turns off suddenly. The QUACKEROONIES do not like the looks of this as the FCC Navy is ripe for the plucking (so sezs Grimitz) as we cut back to Bluebottle in the chair proclaiming that he'll destroy the destroyers now. Oh goody; Bluebottle gets to cause chaos, mayhem and show how much Norton is a wuss. He pushes on the Wii Wheel device (Geez; even Nintendo is promoting Wii here; and it doesn't exist for another 19 years or so) as the killer whale races through the school of fish and Scrooge and Donald bounce over the porthole and unwind. Okay; this is a neat spot but I thought there was a...Oh wait; the elevator is on the other side; my mistake.
The two male adult babyfaces take some wussy bumps into the gold as we cut back to the killer whale sub diving up and it's time to play leap frog as the killer whale literally leaps over the FCC Navy's ship with ease and dives down allowing the babyfaces on the surface to sway as Dewey shows off his superb bumping skills. Beakly panics like a bitch as Grimitz goes to the FCC radio of doom as they soaked all their jets and he orders the destroyers to attack. The sailor on the destroyer ship as we cut to obeys him without question (I'm guessing Peter Cullen) as the killer whale appears about 500 feet in front of them and the sailor fires about six missiles and the killer whale counters with the big ass tennis racket as Grimitz swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (Holy Navratilova?! Good lord; parents groups would have a FIELD day with this episode) as he comments on the whales' backhand. Rise of the Valkyrie music plays as the destroyer gets destroyed by their own missiles. OUCH! That is going to leave a mark.
We cut back to Bluebottle laughing it off asking who said scientists don't have a sense of humor. In that case you can blame me for that. Well in your case anyway Horatio. We cut to inside the hull of money as Scrooge unties Donald's beak and he starts ranting like a maniac again. HAHA! He does a better job in timing the joke then Drake Mallard ever did. Scrooge grabs his beak gently as Scrooge proclaims that they need to stop the sub as it's too quick for Grimitz to stop. Scrooge asks Donald for the steering mechanism and Donald proclaims that it's under them. We then cut to another destroyer as the killer whale is ready for that and he swirls around like a whirlwind as we cut to Grimitz and the babyfaces as Beakly points out that he's causing a whirlpool and we even get to see the spot in action as the destroyer is like a water Tilt-A-Whirl. The navy crewman on board get sicker than swine flu as the ship goes down the drain so to speak as we cut back to Bluebottle laughing it all off as they will never take him for granted ever again. Too bad Norton didn't get the message here.
So we cut to Donald and Scrooge in the room as they are next to the control mechanism as Donald points out the buttons and glowing controls to boot along with the monitor. Scrooge orders Donald to smash the controls and Donald ask with what. Good question there Donald. Scrooge tells him to use his head and I betcha Donald literally uses it to smash the control panel. I check the DVD....DAMN I'm good. That is just too funny as Scrooge proclaims that this is how he exercises his mind. No wonder Daisy wanted no part of him. Too bad that it's funny though. We cut back to the FCC Navy ship as Grimitz admits that they need a lucky shot to win and he orders Destroyer III to fire it's depth chargers and Destroyer III sells as the soda explosion cans get fired down into the deep. The fishes dodge it easily which pretty much shows how useless they are as the killer whale subs dodges all as we cut to Bluebottle playing the depth charge as if this was a video game. Seriously; check the shot and try telling me it doesn't look like a video game. And Mr. Hardcore gamer goes more psycho than Scrooge on ice cream eating sea monsters. One depth charger actually makes contact and the places goes all Red October as the computer voices reads red alert and a malfunction as the steering mechanism is damaged. OH MY GOD! Grimitz's plan worked! IT'S A MIRACLE! The FCC Navy did something right! Pass the Kleenex! The Red Target Of Doom flashes on the screen as the Wii Wheel doesn't respond for Bluebottle. Horatio was certainly not working for Nintendo; that's for sure. Bluebottle gets mad as he pounds on the stick like a wuss as we see the killer whale sub sputter around drunk like El Captains' liquor.
So we cut to the steering mechanism room (excellent CONTINUITY to keep the red screen on the whole time as the whole thing is now destroyed as Scrooge had the hammer with him to clean up. Donald breathes a sigh of relief that they did it. Scrooge proclaims that the fireworks are coming as another depth charger hits RIGHT ON THE FRONT BUTTON and it explodes as we cut topside and see a water spout and oil coming out as the FCC Navy cheers for getting the sub at last before it does any more damage. Sadly; the QUACKEROONIES start bawling badly again (okay only Beakly and Webby as the nephews cry more like Kit Cloudkicker does which is a lot more mature by the way) as it means that Scrooge and Donald are dead. Grimitz apologizes for this even though that is a hallow apology at best since he had to stop the submarine. Like that is going to make the pain go away. Grimitz salutes them as heroes. Louie wonders if they are still alive and Grimitz no sells because even if they were there's no way to save them as the whale is going into the Marinaea trench. Which we cut to and see exactly that. God bless the FCC Navy! Wonder why so many of us went Anti-War? They watched this show.
So we cut to inside the sub as the red screen is still in effect as Scrooge proclaims that they are going down. Donald then makes me laugh proclaiming that what goes down must go up. Don't you love backwards logic as Scrooge gleefully corrects him on that. They go into the main room as Bluebottle is at the computer fixing the submarine up with the wrench and it only suffered minor oil loss and no major damage. An angler fish watches on just because as Bluebottle proclaims that he must fix the steering mechanism and then be underway. Donald and Scrooge then try to blitz him; but Bluebottle uses the HAND OF GOD to stop them because if they attack him; they'll never get out and a normal submarine cannot dive this deep since it would be crushed like an eggshell. Nice educational reference there doctor as he proclaims that they are stuck down here and without him; the boat doesn't float. Scrooge then blows him off as he goes to the big ass lever (WRONG LEVER!) as Bluebottle protests because it's the eject lever and thus he loses his gold. Scrooge pulls it anyway and the bottom of the whale opens up and dumps all his gold into the trench. This of course makes total sense since it completely justifies the next episode to exist and thus allows Doofus Drake to make his DTVA debut.
Although that one sounds like Creep In The Deep from Rescue Rangers and I didn't like that episode one bit. The killer whale floats up towards the top of the sea in dramatic fashion and pops up making sure to scare some seagulls in the process. The babyfaces (with telescopes and binocular) watch on and they are SHOCKED to see the whale has surfaced. Grimitz is SHOCKED and then he starts to order his destroyers to open fire. What a heartless bastard this Grimitz is as Webby manages to stop the execution with her cute voice because she sees Scrooge's top hat. Thankfully; Grimitz orders them to hold their fire as we get a binocular shot of Scrooge's arm waving his cane with his top hat on it. Everyone cheers in unison as we cut to the bridge as the nephews hug Donald Duck and Scrooge as the sailors on board cheer in the background. Grimitz walks towards Donald and Donald instantly salutes him before Grimitz starts telling him. HAHA!
Grimtiz thanks him for his heroism and he'll award Donald with the silver star (which Disney Caption calls a silver tar. Seriously; what are these guys thinking?!) as Donald just blushes. We then see two police officers with billy clubs escorting a handcuffed Bluebottle away as everything is all right for the FCC Navy. Sadly; Webby isn't happy because Scrooge's fortune is gone of course. Scrooge grabs Webby and tells her that it isn't gone, but stored for safe keeping. Dewey wonders how he'll reach it and Scrooge proclaims that Gyro will think of something and thus justify his existence in this four part story arc right there. Scrooge is just glad it is out of Flintheart's reach as we get a symbolic shot of the killer whale going belly up. HAHA! Nice to see Magon use some sick symbolism to complete this one. Beakly then points out the obvious for me as the babyfaces laugh it up with the FCC Navy to end the episode at 21:16. The streak of middling episodes ends at four with a killer good episode. Donald and Scrooge really carried this one and then some. **** ¾ (95%).
THE REVIEW LINE
We have gone midway through this one and I didn't expect this episode to do excellence; but it did in spades thanks to Scrooge and Donald Duck. While the storyline was mostly solid and there were a few logic breaks; this episode won me on sheer performance alone. From Doctor Bluebottle making Norton look like a wuss; to Grimitiz acting like a dick; to Donald Duck being Donald Duck, they all performed their roles well. And while the bawling scenes were well animated and fit the context of the episode; I think in the nephews' case it would have worked better if real kids were used because it felt just a little bit contrived. As if it was a middle age woman trying to act like a child. However; there really isn't much Magon could have done considering the cost of over runs this series had already according to Steve Huett.
However; this episode will be most remembered by the Sea Monster Ate My Ice Cream scene which was just plain over the top and while the scene is a little less funny due to the bad message it sends due to mental illness; it's in a way fitting since CEO's who take disruption seriously tend to be paranoid and sometimes they can be a little psycho. It's still a funny spot to watch. I also felt TMS' animation was dead on; minus the spot with Bluebottle killing the homing device dead (and that was a minor spot). Overall; this was a near perfect episode that really earned it's crew cut for performance of an otherwise good enough story. It needed it after the lackluster start in the first episode. Although it would have been awesome if they properly paid off the Sea Monster Ate My Ice Cream joke by having Webby's ice cream being eaten by the sea monster in the episode. Oh well; Don Rosa paid it off in TaleSpin; so it's a moot point now.
Next up is Aqua Ducks and I'm dreading this episode a little since it appears to be Sea Vs. Land again which I didn't enjoy when I was ranting on A Creep In The Deep. Although it has Launchpad, Doofus and Gyro so it might just work out. We'll see. So......
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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