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Merit-Time Adventure

Reviewed: 09/05/2009

Webby Earns Her Over Wings...

So now we continue the Ducktales rants as it's regular episodes until near the end of this volume which has two shorts. I see that this will be the second episode for rant purposes featuring Doofus Drake. So let's rant on and be surprised shall we....?!

This episode was written by Sharman Divono. The story is edited by Tedd Anasti and Patsy Cameron. Sharman Divono is yet another cartoon writer starting with Riche Rich in 1982 and yet another one who sneaked into Nelevna productions as a writer; this one being Droids and Popples. Sharmon also wrote and did voices for Garfield & Friends and Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures. That is about it actually.

We begin this one at a lighthouse flashing on the coast AFTER HAPPY HOUR (After Dark) as we pan west to a large boat in the fog. We know this because a foghorn is blowing as it sails. We then cut to the front deck and two old geezer birds in blue uniforms and green hats walk to the front as they talk about sea monsters as Mr. Quackerbill tells him that the sea doesn't surprise him one bit. That would be Archibald Quackerbill the old sea duck dog so to speak. He is voiced by Jack Angel which I have mentioned before in my re-rants. His aide is voiced by Frank Welker (the animal voice god and god to cartoon series everywhere. Without him; you're sunk). We go to the deck shot as we get a good view of Duckinsack Island. Yeah; you know it's Ducktales when nearly every landmark and city has the word duck or a duck reference in it. Quackerbill'a aide would be glad when the Lucky Duck (the ship for those who don't speak Mallard.) is safe in Duckberg harbor. And I'm mistaken as Archibald addresses him as Captain Mallard (same voice so no real big deal) as they are responsible for Scrooge's cargo. He keeps speaking stereotypical pirate with his “arrs” that I'm beginning to suspect him as a heel; however, the roar beckons and someone rocks the boat as the old sea duck dogs sway like mad. Sadly; the bump onto the floor was wussy as Captain Mallard looks overboard and sees his worst nightmare come true: The birth of Drake Mallard. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! BLAM! OUCH! Ummm... Weakest shot ever Drake. Okay; it's really a green sea serpent with red eyes and a lot of yellow teeth.

Everyone on deck runs away like scalded ducks complete with Hanna Barbera running sound and looping effects. Sadly; TMS is animating so it is not a classic. The green sea serpent eats some of the boat and that's enough to shake the boat and cause Mr. Quackerbill to fall into the sea much to Captain Mallard's appalled sense. Captain Mallard calls for all the lifeboats as the boat is now at a 45 degree angle and the back explodes into flames. Huh?! That makes no sense at all since the serpent ate a section of boat and not the oil line which would have caused the fire. Mr. Quackerbill floats on the Scrooge cargo box (marked helpfully as such with a gold dollar sign) as the green serpent comes up from the water (after diving down first). Quackerbill turns around and his left eye opens wide in shock and fear and then the green serpent dives at him and eats him! HOLY CRAP! Would have been even more so if TMS animated the spot perfectly (it looked a little like he was bobbing for apples and Quackerbill disappeared after getting caught). The green serpent float off stage right as we cut to Captain Mallard, Quackerbill's real aide (a brown bull dog in a black vest and green shirt with black hat voiced by Frank Welker I think.) and another dogsperson in a blue hat, black coat and blue pants rowing the life boat as the aide points out the obvious to Captain Mallard. Mallard asks if everyone else is safe and Mister (as he is addressed) states that it is as the fire goes on in the sunken ship and we see the crew scattered in lifeboats.

So we cut to morning as the Lucky Duck is still bobbing on halfway in the sea as the fire has been subdued and a helicopter in an orange, white and red color scheme flies over flown by Launchpad of course. He declares the Lucky Duck a dead duck (death reference #1). I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Scrooge is with him as the ship spins around and Scrooge wants to leave; but Launchpad wants to stay. I guess this is payback for being so overbearing in Catch as Cash Can story arc. We cut to the cockpit as LP is wearing scouting gear which indicates that he's the Junior Woodchuck scout leader. See; LP wants to stay to see the boat sink for good and make lots of bubbles. HAHA! Scrooge blows him off because he needs to be at Duckinsack Island for the official Coast Guard Inquiry. So Duckberg is in someplace in Canada? Ooooookkkkkkkaaaayyyyy; this could work out. Launchpad decides to recoil and leave as we pan east to the nephews, Webby and Doofus (YAY!) with his camera wearing those goofy Junior Woodchuck raccoon hats. Doofus is giddy over this wreck as he takes pictures. I see the nephews are wearing matching red scarfs and blue shirts just for the special day. Webby gets the pink one of course which is pretty silly if you ask me. Why can't Webby wear blue? Molly wore blue overalls (and a pink shirt); so why can't Webby?

See; Doofus is doing this so Launchpad can get a publishing deal on a book. I should point out that Webby is the only one who doesn't have merit badges on her green sash. The title is called Great Wrecks I've Seen and Had. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If that book doesn't sell millions then there is truly something wrong with this world. Scrooge then comes from behind the blue curtain and apologizes for interrupting their quest to get sailing merit badges. He needed Launchpad's help see as Doofus states that who wouldn't. HA! Scrooge then points out that there are lots of sailboats on Duckinsack Island anyway. The kids thank Scrooge for that as Webby is giddy because she'll get her first two merit badges in her career as a Junior Woodchuck. I should note that in Carl Barks' version (thanks for the information Chris Barat); girls aren't supposed to be part of the Woodchucks; but part of the Chickadees (which appeared on an episode of House of Mouse as a cameo by the way). So this was a clear BS&P decision and a really good one in my view. The nephews show their up yours attitude as they'll get 200 badges and then laugh it up. Wow; they are still playing with Webby's mind as the helicopter flies around and we go to the scene changer....

As we head to a sky shot of Duckinsack Island as the radio control operator proclaims Scrooge's company which is Duck Enterprises, chopper nine. He gives clearance to land as the Duckinsack Island Station. Scrooge then rubs it in to tell LP not to crash the chopper. 2:1 odds say LP crashes the helicopter in spectacular fashion. We zoom in and of course; NOTHING HAPPENS! DAMMIT! So we go to the scene changer as we are in town with Scrooge, the nephews, LP, Webby and Doofus watching over some dog and dogsperson sailors at the Sailing House of Doom. We know this since there is a white anchor and the house looks like it's shaped like a hull. The ship horn toots as Scrooge goes over as the Junior Woodchuck group looks giddy. Scrooge returns and tells them that he has made plans for them to use a sailboat called the little wave. Weird logic break: The nephews and Webby are not wearing their Junior Woodchuck hats (or any hats for that matter; except for Webby wearing her pink bow.

As if the pink shirt wasn't enough to show that she's Webagail Vanderquack.); but Doofus is for some odd reason. The group cheers for victory on that one as LP has his white papers (probably a restraining order to prevent him from being within 50 yards of any airplane in this episode from here on until the end) as the kids hug Scrooge as well. Then the fun stops as Launchpad blows the world tiniest flute (seriously; the thing looks like a golden flute) as the wet wilderness await them. The nephews do their Wacka-Wacka Woodchuck dance of doom and I see Fozzie Bear is going to sue them for infringing on his joke laugh catchphrase as we speak. Louie (I think; it's hard to tell them apart when they are wearing that Woodchuck gear) grabs Webby arm (who doesn't take part for some reason) and the Junior Woodchucks walk towards the docks. Scrooge is happy for about two seconds as the adults are murmur (which Open Office sees as a word by the way) and he goes stage right to investigate. Scrooge goes into the wooden building as the sailors protest this outrage from the green sea serpent as the rower for Captain Mallard leads the charge. Yes; it's the economy of characters syndrome; but at least it makes logical sense in this case. Scrooge rolls up his sleeves as he apparently is ready for a fight for some reason.

So we cut back to the Little Wave Sailboat of Doom as the nephews and Doofus are engaging in Ric Flair broomstick sword play so to speak. Well; one of them anyway. They are all wearing matching paint splashing bathing suits (purple/orange splashes for the nephews; green/purple splashes for Doofus) and orange life jackets (so we can be safe according to the DORA LAW OF DOOM) as nephew #2 comes in from the blindside and then goes after nephew #3 hanging from the yardarm as they play more pirate stuff. Good animation there from TMS as it's a draw since they are all RIC FLAIR BROOMSTICKS see. If one of them suddenly uses a Shane Douglas Mop; one of them would lose. We then cut to Webby sitting down in a croner of the ship reading her LIBERAL RED BOOK OF LIES THE KIDS EDITION~! POW! OUCH! Ummm.. I mean the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook learning how to use some rope. She's wearing a one piece bathing suit and pink trunks of course because she's supposed to be uncool see. Launchpad is manning the anchor (I think) wearing yellow/Red V trunks as the great pirate swordplay chase continues.

Nephew #1 goes between Doofus' legs and then gets on him from behind on his back. Nephew #2 tries to do the Tarzan spot as the music stops playing and Doofus ducks and Nephew #1 and #2 have a meeting of the minds. And it wasn't at the water cooler. Wussy bumps ensue as the spot was pretty screwed up by TMS. Nephew #2 bounces over to Webby with the rope in two bunches and wonders what Webby is doing. Webby invokes the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook that states that the main sheet must be checked for frays in the rope in case a strong wind happens. Now that's pretty cool on Webby's part to remember such things. If Janna Michaels was voicing her; it would be perfect and even cooler. But then Janna was barely four years old at the time of release so it was to be expected. Nephew #1 states that she's taking this way too seriously and Webby blows him off (YAY!) because she only has one for swimming. Remember that one for later on because I believe that statement will factor into the finish. The nephews tell her not to worry because with them on board the sailing merit badge will be a piece of cake. Wow; they are still thinking of her as nothing and now they are hiding that dishonesty. Doofus of course loves cake and it sounds delicious to him. HEE HEE!

Launchpad apparently rings him in as wacko and then pushes the red button. He then proclaims that he'll back up the ship under her own power as he blows the world's tiniest flute as he backs up the ship and turns it around 45 degrees towards the ocean. I want to see him bump a ship; that is what makes him funny. Here; it's a little dull as Launchpad clears his throat to annoy me and addresses the troops. LP asks them to know what to do and Webby knows to crank the main sail and she'll do it as he runs to the pulley that controls it and spins the wheel as the main sail starts to unwind. Then she gets a box to stand on and puts it near the wheel. Webby gets on and rotates the wheel which rotates the sailing arm around allowing the nephews and Doofus to duck. The sail goes full mast as the nephews proclaim that the merit badge is in the bag for her (so much for dishonesty) as Doofus asks what bag and the nephews get annoyed at him (BOO HISS!). Well; it's nice to do that they always have Doofus as a punching bag for mockery now that Webby has become untouchable. The nephews go swaying as the boat is at a 45 degree angle and it sails away from the harbor.

We then pan over to the boat building of doom as the sailors blow off Scrooge because they want no part of the sea serpent. We then cut to the soapbox as Scrooge, Captain Mallard and a coast guard sailor dogsperson (check the white suit and hat) are on it. The town hall is even shaped like a boat. This is like being in Nova Scotia now that I think about it. Well; Scrooge is Scottish and Nova Scotia means New Scotland in Latin; and Magon has been in Nova Scotia before so this makes perfect sense. The coast guard sailor tells Scrooge that he did his best to keep the nasty rumor quiet as Captain Malard blows off Captain Tan (according to Disney Captions. Chris has it as Captain Tann) which is quite cute since he looks like he's been in the sun for quite some time).Captain Tan is voiced by Brian Cummings by the way and has that snobbish like accent going.

Mallard is angry as hell for losing Mr. Quackerbill and tries to rally the troops to help as the troops say Arrr back in disdain. Mallard tells them that nothing in the seas surprises him. No one is buying it as Scrooge steps in to say that Captain Tan is doing everything he can and Quackerbill's bulldog aid blows him off for getting a sun tan and keeping his uniform pretty. BURN BABEE BURN! Captain Tan has had enough and he and Scrooge walk out. Tan thinks the notion of a sea serpent is absurd of course and puts on his SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT while Scrooge assures him that there are lots of creatures that sound absurd until you see them. He then tells Tan to contact him at the Little Wave for more information and Tan sells that. Scrooge walks into town as the evil music plays which indicates that bad thing are going to happen to Mr. McDuck. Like how the Little Wave has already left port. Scrooge gets whirlwind by the black truck and the back of it we see boxes of Scrooge's cargo. Oh; I smell foul play arising here. Scrooge goes dizzy and then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and runs after it protesting this outrage.

The truck goes to a junkyard and stops as the shadow is driving it. Knowing the Economy Of Characters Syndrome; it's got to be Sailor Captain Quackerbill. His two goons (dogsperson wearing red hair and mustaches; green hats and white Mickey Mouse gloves. One has a green shirt and brown pants, the other has a white shirt and red pants.) go over to the back (which looks like the side which is logic break #2 for the episode) and they pull away the wooden fence to get at Scrooge's cargo. Scrooge runs in and protests this outrage because this is his cargo see. Red Goon goes over and does the Mister T PALM SLAM OF DOOM to Scrooge's face and Scrooge is PISSED. The last thing this show needs is to do stuff out of Mister T's playbook. Then out comes a black and white dog wearing an orange/red shirt with a blue hat and brown pants.

Ah yes; this is the rant debut of Dogface Pete; Duckberg's answer to Disney's version of Pete. You know; the one who debut on the first iconic Mickey Mouse cartoon Steamboat Willie? I'm guessing Jim Cummings is the voice of Dogface Pete and I don't like this guy one bit (Note From The Future: Nope; it was Will Ryan voicing him). Pete then admits that it's Scrooge's but it isn't any more because it's legal salvage the moment his ship went down. Now that makes no sense at all since he clearly STOLE it and...Oh wait; Dogface Pete is a jackass heel; why am I not surprised?! I wish we can go back to Webby and LP right now because this is getting silly. Dogface Pete calls himself a bloke who got his cargo and tells Scrooge to take a long walk off a short pier. Ooooooo... That was a sick mental illness joke there Pete. Scrooge is angry as Captain Mallard steps in and informs him that the law is on his side and there's nothing he can do right now. Scrooge then gets a little evil as he tells Dogface off as this isn't the end and then walks off stage left. Captain Mallard warns Pete not to screw with him as Dogface is a little worried now of being stood up by Mallard.

So we go to the Little Wave AFTER HAPPY HOUR as the lighthouse continues to shine as Scrooge tells the kids and LP the situation. Scrooge believes that Dogface Pete is in on the green sea serpent business. Why do I get the feeling that he is not in spite of the fact that Dogface Pete is such an asshole who takes advantage of laws just to screw honest working paranoid ducks? We head inside the small dining area of the ship as Doofus is at the stove making dinner as the kids, LP and Scrooge are sitting at the table. Doofus puts the sea biscuits and puts it on a plate as he calls them extra yummy. To whom? A sea serpent. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! CHOMP! OUCH! Ummm...That really hurts! Doofus gives one to each (and they look like they expanded into pancakes when they get onto the plate, natch) as Scrooge gets confused like Zummi Gummi; and then the sea serpent invokes the roar to scare the ducks out of their wits. Well; as loose as TMS' stiff animation would allow of course.

Launchpad is hoping and praying that this was his stomach and of course it is not. Everyone runs out to the deck and they see the Sea Serpent in a Hardcore Chomping Squash Match~ against the ship known as the Sea Bird which is a poorly drawn white ship by the way. He chomps on the front of the hull and that causes the ship to sway as Doofus points out the obvious sea biscuit pun. The sailors on board man the lifeboats and bail on the far shot as the ship seems to get better drawn by the second. The serpent then decides that it enough for one evening and dives down into the ocean blue. We go to dawn as with a far sky shot of the harbor as the tugboat tows the sunken Sea Bird towards the docks. So we cut to the wood pier as the kids, Scrooge, Launchpad, a police dogsperson and Captain Tann are on it. Doofus gets all giddy inside because LP would have serped the last serp of that sea serpent. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If only Doofus; if only. That would be a main event anywhere in the Wrestling for Dollars world. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Captain Tan is not amused as he writes it down on the white notepad.

So we then logically see Scrooge in a pirate's disguise (Geez; how girly can you get with that purple coat on Mr. McDuck?) as he is trying to ride a Cyan colored bicycle and is having great difficulty in riding it. Okay; that was really funny as Scrooge blows off his lack of bike riding skills. He also have one black patch on his right eye and a fake black mustache to boot as he flips over the bike and drops with a cute bump and even sezs D'OH! HA! I knew Homer Simpson was stealing from Ducktales. I just needed the evidence to prove it. The goons are not amused as Dogface Pete orders his goons to get back to work. Scrooge uses his red hat to hide his face as Pete bails stage left. Scrooge carries his bicycle into the cargo garage and dumps it as he goes inside proclaiming that he'll catch Pete in the act on the sea serpent thing and prove that he's breaking the law he swears he is within it. Scrooge grabs a cargo box which apparently has all the $ signs removed from it. How about that?!

Scrooge staggers into the factory as he barely dodges two yellow cargo carriers as the rowboat guy from earlier is working for Dogface Pete now. Huh?! Wasn't he with Captain Mallard earlier? Never mind; my head hurts as Green Goon grabs his boxes and blows him off calling him shorty. Whatever guys. Green Goon walks away as Scrooge breathes a sigh of relief and calls his zillionaire work a safer occupation. Then the roar sounds as everyone panics on cue and the green sea serpent crashes through the factory and destroys everything in sight. Dogface Pete and Scrooge bump into each other and fall down as Scrooge's cover is blown. Dogface Pete sees him and Scrooge flees from him. Dogface Pete then turns babyface to yell at Scrooge to look out; but the green serpent has got him off-screen as Pete just looks scared to death holding the back of his head. The Green Serpent of Doom drags Scrooge out of the factory as Scrooge screams for help pretty good and the serpent leaves stage left to end the segment 11 and a half minutes in. Just an average episode thus far.

After the commercial break; we get a pan shot of the destruction as Captain Mallard, Dogface Pete and some more sailor are mumbling among each other as Captain Tan arrives and admits now that there is a sea serpent and therefore Scrooge is really convinced. Also the fact that this clears Dogface Pete of any wrongdoing. Then we cut to more crying from the nephews (Huey anyway which sounds a lot more convincing then their act in episode #2 of Catch As Cash Can) see the last of Scrooge's rental bicycle. There are nothing but wheels left as Launchpad proclaims that they will never crash together again. Okay; that is really funny considering how Scrooge wishes LP would STOP doing that. Doofus isn't quite convinced Scrooge is dead and even Webby thinks Scrooge is too tough to die like that while sniffling. Man; Russi Taylor's acting has improved on the emotions department. Webby proclaims that if they go after the serpent; they'll find Scrooge.

The nephews aren't so sure; and Webby proclaims that the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook proclaims that they shouldn't give up. Umm; you don't need a book to say that Webagail. We got hundreds of cartoon episodes in history saying that same message. I think you're just showing off now. The nephews agree as Doofus wants Launchpad to get that monster with his bare hands and then flops onto the ground as Launchpad warns him not to overdo it. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Psychological projection much there LP? We then cut to Captain Tan addressing the sailors to inform them that all ships will be confined to port until further notice. Dogface Pete and Captain Mallard have a conference of whisper yelling as the nephews see them as pretty chummy. Doofus wonders if they are talking about him and LP; as the nephews think it's like Bonnie and Clyde the two thieves of doom. Captain Mallard tells Dogface Pete to meet him at the docks at nightfall and Dogface Pete tells him that it better work as the kids get very suspious of their actions.

So that logically leads us to the docks AFTER HAPPY HOUR as we see the Little Wave sail out of the harbor as LP is on the front deck wondering why he gets caught into these silly tactics of the nephews. Doofus pops from the front window and tells him that he's brave and bold which of course leads to the Webby sshhhing him in response. HAHA! Doofus apologizes since he couldn't hold it in so to speak. So we go to morning again as the Little Wave is in open water and there is a lot of wind because that is what this episode needs: More windbags. Launchpad is wondering about something as Webby tells him near the pully wheel that the main sail will stop flapping if it is trimmed just a little bit. We cut to the nephews on the sailing arm with the rope attempting to trim the sails a little. Of course; if LP was doing it, he would cut the sails a bit with some heavy duty scissors. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Webby then turns the pully wheel clockwise and the sails stop flapping and go stiff. Webby then questions the nephews about studying the chapter on sailing as Doofus actually has a sword in his hands. WHAT THE HELL?!

The nephews claim that they skimmed through them while playing pirates. In other words; no. Doofus plays with the sword just to amuse and scare me at the same time as Launchpad arrives with the net dummy. Well; that just writes LP into a corner doesn't it?! Doofus then proclaims that there is leftover sea biscuits in the icebox and LP calls him his little buddy and gets all cutesy with the snacks of Doofus' choosing. Doofus then runs into the dinning area and takes out the icy sea biscuits from the icebox. You know that is cold when THAT happens. Doofus then has problems as he carries the biscuits out because they are heavier when they are frozen. Riiiiiiigggggghhhhhhttt. I think he's showing off for us to show up Webby if you ask me. The nephews run in and help with Doofus as they carry the biscuits outside. We then cut to Webby noticing Launchpad's green sash as having a lot of merit badges as we see Doofus and the nephews carrying stuff out of the area as Doofus tells Webby that he got them from surviving catastrophes on land, sea and air. Webby looks at the green sash and she finds out that LP doesn't have a merit badge for swimming. UH OH! I think we know where this episode is going.

So we then hear the roar again as Launchpad screams for help. The frozen sea biscuits and tray gets dumped onto the floor which proves that Doofus is showing off since they don't destroy the floor in the process; and they all run out. We then see Launchpad IN THE WATER trying to tread water as the net he had is on the green sea serpent. Oh right; now we are getting to the good stuff in this episode. Doofus is giddy than ever as he proclaims that LP caught the sea serpent and then blows the serpent off for messing with Launchpad McQuack. Seriously; Doofus is so awesome that it's funny. The sea serpent tries to bash his head on the water; but the net doesn't let go. Launchpad gets to the front of the Little Wave; but the waves keep LP from getting on board the ship. Well; with the life jacket on; he can swim somewhat as the serpent continues to have problems with the net. Which indicates that it's a robot sea serpent. He finally gets the net off and uses his head to capture Launchpad on top and then nods it to throw Launchpad onto the front of the ship with a wussy bump. Sigh TMS. The sea serpent dives into the ocean as the kids come over to help him. Webby pleads for Scrooge to come to her. So we logically go into a dark room near a box crate as we see Scrooge tied up worse than Kit Cloudkicker has ever had experiencing. Scrooge wakes up slowly and wonders what hit him? I'll tell you what hit you; a bad logic break (#3 for the episode) since you shouldn't be in the nephews trunks. Unless that is your underwear which is a major fashion faux pas for someone like you.

Scrooge then notices the Lucky Duck crate and realizes that he's inside one of Dogface Pete's warehouse. At least that is what he thinks anyway. Scrooge backs up and then TMS screws the spot as he was supposed to take the Swordfish statue of doom to the ass; but it hits his back and then he oversells the pain. Scrooge recoils and then uses the sword fish's nose to cut the ropes as he says pleasure things to him. Yeap; he's lost it, sort of. Scrooge walks around as we are clearly inside a cave now as the shadow appears from the waterway and Scrooge jumps behind some crates to hide. Scrooge pops from the crate as we hear Quackerbill and his real new aide (another old sea duck with a bad eye wearing mostly all blue sailor gear putting stone bricks (I think) into the sea serpent as they proclaim that they are going to get rid of the kids on the sailing ship. Man; these guys are looking for blood it looks like. They want to use the serpent to keelhaul the sailboat in one bite. Scrooge swears in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE (Curse me kilts of course) as he states the obvious. The serpent dives into the water as apparently those two duck sailors are deaf as well. Scrooge then proclaims that he needs to get the hell out of there and runs towards the water edge and finds the conivently placed diving equipment (two tanks and a mask) as he puts it on.

So we go to the scene changer as Launchpad is on the front deck of the Little Wave addressing the kids at they stand at attention (well everyone but Doofus Drake). He decides to make Webby the new captain of the vessel. Webby salutes him as LP nicely blows off the nephews for skimming on their studies along with him. The nephews reluctantly answer him as LP asks Webby to drive this vessel. And then on the far shot we see the sea serpent of doom rise from the ocean again. Then we cut to the ocean skin and out pops Scrooge in his bathing gear with the diving equipment on as he takes the masks off and he is SHOCKED and APPALLED. Scrooge panics as the Little Wave is ripe for the driftwood pickings as we cut to Webby at the sailing wheel proclaiming that it's BAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK. No fleas on you Webby as Launchpad and the nephews panic on the spot. And one more thing; where the heck is Doofus Drake? Is he getting a mid noon snack of something? Or is he being written out again like he was in Cash As Catch Can Part Four? That officially ends the segment 16 and a half minutes in. Okay; now this episode is getting really good.

After the commercial break; we cut to a shot of the sea serpent getting ready to draw blood as it's neck lunges forward as nephew #1 invokes the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE to try to repel the sea serpent. He manages to get it around it's neck and it's the Dragon VS. The Half Dozen Egg McMallards in a tug-of-war main event special. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! It seems to go nowhere as Scrooge McDuck swims towards the Little Wave and Webby notices him right away. She lets go of the rope and goes towards the edge of the Little Wave on the left side. That's the first mistake Webby has made in this episode I should point out. She is so HAPPY that he's alive as the male mallards are losing the tug-of-war. Man; Webby either has a lot of muscles in her I didn't see, or the writers just have to make the males look weak. I'll take the former for the sake of the writers. Even if it imply that Webby saw Larson and Gary before this episode started. The nephews decide to go with Webby anyway as that leaves Doofus and LP to pull onto the rope near the edge of the front of the ship. LP asks Doofus to join the kids; but Doofus refuses to leave him like that. Atta boy Doofus! Don't be such an idiot. Even if it's funny at Launchpad's expense. LP calls him a loyal but foolish one and Doofus thanks him for the praise. HAHA!

So we continue as the sea serpent starts to smoke (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING AND QUACK PACK EPISODES!) and twist around. So we cut to a motorboat as Dogface Pete, Captain Mallard and two other sailors (one a pelican ( wearing blue and looking like someone from Gillian's Island and the other a black tanned dogsperson wearing a candy cane shirt and white hat.) are in it with the harpoon gun which looks like something that they got from Seymour after the Moby Dimple incident. Captain Mallard tells Pete to get ready with the harpoon because we just have to have Dogsface Pete drag this episode down somehow. Pete hugs the harpoon like a human being because he stole it...ERRR...I mean salvaged it. They drag the rope down on the side of the ship as we get a close up of the motorboat going stage left. Scrooge notices the boat and is SHOCKED that Dogface Pete is playing babyface. Yeah; I know since Dogface Pete somehow plays a better babyface than a heel actually. Dogface turns around on the motorboat and is glad Scrooge is safe; so he gives him a harpoon to defend himself. Scrooge waves at him and then dives into the ocean again.

So we logically return as the sea serpent twists around as it is still smoking a chimney as we cut to Scrooge underwater with the harpoon and then is SHOCKED and almost breathes in water as he sees that the sea serpent is nothing more than a metal head with a submarine below. This would have been rather convincing if we didn't see Quackerbill and his real aide feeding the serpent steel earlier in the episode. Or even better; the Scrooge scene in the cave was never shown until the flashback. Scrooge swims towards the porthole and turns it with great difficulty and then enters inside the sub which is much smaller than the S.S. Moby I should note. Scrooge goes into the red hallway as the smoke is much more intense than usual. We hear Quackerbill coughing up a lung or two it seems as Scrooge walks down the hallway. Quackerbill swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (blasted engine) as the engine smoking is killing him (death reference #2 for the episode). His voice is killing me even more with that stereotypical pirate talk which at least fits in this situation as we head to the front of the sub as Quackerbill is at the controls and his old air aide is at the air pressure pipes with the wrench, whining because they cannot pull away from the sailboat and their engines are going to overheat. They need to get the lasso off the neck or she is going to blow. I think she's already blowing and it can cause cancer.

But don't worry; I hear the PS3 can cure cancer; so you guys should be okay. Oh wait; this is 1987. Sorry guys; you two are out of luck. Scrooge of course blows them off as he backs the heels with his harpoon and the two heels raise their hands into the sky looking a bit confused. So we cut to more side shots of the sea serpent blowing smoke and stops twisting. Doofus proclaims that the sea serpent has pooped out as the nephews cheer for victory while LP ties the rope to the front of the ship. Okay; that was more disturbing than you had intended Doofus Drake. The nephews do that goofy Junior Woodchuck Dance just to amuse me. Captain Mallard and Dogface Pete arrive from behind (of course) and they use their LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE and lasso a second line around it's neck. Webby gets to the wheel and turns the Little Wave around in a clockwise circle in order to help Pete and company with their ropes and the nephews are really impressed with her sailing skills. Pete thanks Webby The Little Wave Webagail for her help and they decide to sail stage left and tow the sea serpent in as the serpent is screwed stiff now.

So we cut back to Scrooge and he sways and loses his balance causing the harpoon to drop into the hands of the heels. Scrooge has got to get his ears checks if he's losing his center of gravity like that. Why not end the episode now Mr. Weagle? Simple; because we need Webby to save Launchpad from drowning to pay off the subplot of LP's lack of a swimming merit badge silly. Quackerbill invokes the harpoon and blows of Scrooge's lack of sea legs. Scrooge puts his arms in the air as Quackerbill tells him to not make waves; because he going to invoke the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and get out of here now. Scrooge demands answers to his heel turn and Quackerbill states that it's the love of the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. He went into the salvage business and eliminate the competition using his serpent head see. Scrooge calls him an underhanded crook and Quackerbill blows him off because he's an under_water_ crook. HEE HEE! That is so true; both ways. Quackerbill laughs like a bad pirate and then pulls the rope as we cut to the sea serpent regaining his composure and twists around violently as the green skin peels right off the steel structure from underneath. The face comes off as it is reduced to just the JAWS OF HALF LIFE.

We then go to a far shot of the Little Wave and the serpent as then we cut in with Doofus in awe of this as nephew #1 proclaims that it's just a construction crane. NO?! REALLY?! The serpent gets violent which causes the sailing arm to whack Launchpad in the midsection with a weak shot and then he get carried right over the edge of the boat and he yells for help as he falls into the water. Launchpad pops up and tries to swim; but he's drowning. Ummm; one problem: he's STILL wearing his bloody life jacket. Why doesn't TMS realize that one little problem? More so when we saw Launchpad swim all right WITH the jacket on. Webby stands on the edge and yells that Launchpad cannot swim. Well; he wouldn't if he didn't have the life jacket on. Otherwise; this makes Webby's famous save look a bit silly and pointless in hindsight. Webby dives into the water and swims stage left and manages to grab Launchpad before he shows of....ERRR...I mean drowns and then swims back stage right. Now this would be great if Launchpad was stupid enough not to have his life jacket on. As it is; it's just good. BS&P RULEZ! The nephews arrive with the big ass candy cane life preserver (HA!) and they throw it into the water blindly and Webby and Launchpad take some really good bumps off of it. Nice to see BS&P cut some slack on female kids taking bumps like that. Launchpad and Webby get onto the boat and then invoke the eye contact violence on the nephews; just to make the nephews blush. HEE HEE!

So we cut to underwater with the sub as Quackerbill declares that it is going to blow as we cut to Scrooge noticing the conveniently placed hose and then grabs it. They lost pressure and now they lose their hope chest as Scrooge fires the hose on the pipes and we get more smoke than inside a burning building. The old guys cannot breathe as they cough and wheeze like mad. Quackerbill orders the abandonment of sea serpent submarine as we cut to the porthole as it opens. Out goes Quackerbill, his aide and Scrooge as they float to the surface. Scrooge just plain shows off like Gruffi on a speed spell. They all pop up from the ocean and then we cut to a ship and there is Captain Tan standing there with his sunglasses on calling Quackerbill out just to be a dick. And Quackerbill is under arrest of course as the two heel ducks cough some more and do the back stroke as Quackerbill swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (oh darn). Scrooge then swims over and climbs onto the Little Wave and thanks the kids are not giving up hope. Then we hear the world's tiniest flute sound again as LP orders the babyfaces to stand at attention. Everyone salutes Launchpad including Scrooge; lest LP crashes the sailboat for his pleasure.

Launchpad then proclaims to Woodchuck Webby (HEE HEE!) that she and only she gets the merit badge for sailing as the nephews cheer for her. Launchpad also notes that she has also got the merit for lifesaving (I find that a little silly but who cares?) as we get a shot of the badge of two naked ducks with one saving the other in the ocean. Awww; how sweet. Launchpad calls for Doofus as we see Doofus inside the dining area with the world's most warped record player as he turns it on (nice touch to show Doofus running into the dining area before LP gives the badges to Webby) and we get the horn fanfare as Launchpad sows the two badges onto Webby's green sash. She has now got three badges now. A start of a really good career in the world of the Junior Woodchucks for Webagail Vanderquack. LP puts the sash onto Webby as he gives the signal to Doofus to stop the record and Doofus sells it as he places the needle back into it's original position. The nephews then proclaim that pretty soon; she'll have as many badges as they do. Webby proclaims that it's not the badges that are important in that it's knowing how to do these things. Now THAT'S a good moral to know in real life. The nephews then want Webby to teach them how to do sailor knots and Webby agrees to it as the nephews exit stage right into the dinning area to get some rope. Launchpad then goes over to Webby and asks her to teach him how to swim. Webby agrees by saluting her scoutmaster as we cut to the Little Wave sailing away from the screen to end the episode at 21:16. A slow start; but it got really good once Webby started being awesome. However; it could have better if some annoying logic breaks never existed. At least Webby earned her crew cut for real since it's not her fault BS&P stepped in on Launchpad. *** ¾ (75%).


We begin the second half of volume 2 with a pretty good episode. Still; I couldn't help thinking that this episode could have been better if the finish wasn't BS&P'ed into a logic break. I really loved Webby in this one and in her big spot where she saves Launchpad from the ocean deep; BS&P stepped in and gave him a life jacket on it even though earlier on in the episode; he clearly had no problems treading water with the thing on. It made Webby's big moment look a bit weak. I also saw some blown spots with TMS and a few other logic breaks; but nothing really major. I felt the sea serpent physically was convincing; but they sort of blew it with the Scrooge in the cave scene; thus giving away the real villains a little too soon. Otherwise; I have to really give it to Webby though. This was one of the few times Webby looked awesome that didn't involve a real animal and it was really refreshing to see. Some will say that this makes the males look weak; but screw them. Doofus was is usual cute self as his better episode finally came quickly. As for Dogface Pete; I wish he was a real babyface instead of a tweener because his heel act is pretty insipid. Everyone else was just there to sink or swim and I didn't really care about them one way or another. Launchpad was Launchpad of course. Overall; a pretty good episode that could have better if BS&P would know when to stay away from creative. Next up is Scrooge getting the golden fleece. This shall be fun. So....

Thumbs in the middle pointing up for this episode and I'll see you next time.


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