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Ducks Of The West

Reviewed: 09/07/2009

Welcome aboard the Scooby Doo Episode of Doom!

Well; since TaleSpin and Ducktales share a lot of things; it's time for Ducktales' take on the old wild wild west. So how did they do compared to Citizen Khan? Let's rant on and find out shall we...?!

This episode was written by Richard Merwin. The story is edited by Tedd Anasti and Patsy Cameron. Richard Merwin did the animated series of Police Academy, Mister T The Animated Series (in fact several of his written episodes have been reviewed already on the Agony Booth website), Star Street, and Bucky O'Hare & The Toad Wars!

We begin this one with the far shot of the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM. And then we cut to the sky with the nephews are playing with their gray remote control airplanes near the greenhouse and their treehouse. Louie is still acting like a goof as there are fighters are dinnertime according to him. Dewey blows him off for that one. Louie still doesn't get it though as Huey starts having trouble with his remote control device and then all three planes start diving and dying like crazy. They call for a mayday which indicates that they may be showing off here. So we cut to the street corner as we see Scrooge's limo as we cut inside to see Duckworth speaking for the first time since like forever while Scrooge is in the back seat enjoying himself for owning an oil company. Geez; that is just asking for a heel turn at some point. Duckworth of course is his usual unemotional self as now Scrooge doesn't have to pay for premium gas. Of course if he doesn't pay for it; then it cannot be premium gas anymore.

Then it's just regular gas see; well in Scrooge's case anyway. The limo arrives at the gas station of doom and it looks like one of those old model type stations from the 1960's. The gas station attendant arrives in a banana-yellow shirt with a blue hat arrive at Scrooge's window on the left side as Scrooge tells him to fill it up with premium gas and the attendant stammers like Honker on a bad day. He is voiced by Alan Oppenheimer who started in 1964 with The Defenders and did mostly cameos and small token appearances until 1975 when he got into voice acting and did Fraidy Cat. He also was one of the replacement voices for Mighty Mouse; but did not voice it first. He was Captain Finnerty in Eischied and the Overlord in Blackstar. He was Skeltor in the first He-Man series and appeared as the mayor in Mama's Family. His DTVA debut is the Wuzzles as the suckiest joke in the land Rhinokey and Crock although he has been in Disney live action movies like Freaky Friday (the original 1976 one). He also appeared in other DTVA shows as cameos including TaleSpin as Principal Ed Pomeroy, Berrybowum in Gummi Bears and Captain Kernal in Rescue Rangers. That's about it actually. His last credit is the recent movie 9 as The Scientist and The Secret Life of Bees. Yeah.

So he has the scary task of informing Scrooge that the gas station is all out of premium. Scrooge isn't amused; but he chooses unleaded instead. Sadly; the gas station is also out of unleaded. Scrooge asks for regular (funny how he's so cheap in anything other than gasoline.) and they are out of that too. Scrooge climbs out of the limo window and blows him off for it as the attendant stutters like Honker after getting bullied by Drake. Now I see who's been taking notes on how to deal with Honker Muddlefoot. So we cut back to the nephews checking on their remote control airplanes and they proclaim that they are out of gas. Who in their right mind would sell gas powered remote control airplanes?! Don't these whippersnappers know about BATTERY operated aircraft? And wouldn't gas powered be too dangerous of a fire hazard for children to use? Huey proclaims that they should head to Scrooge's gas station as they take their airplanes and bail stage left. So we cut back to a side shot of the limo at the gas station as Scrooge continues to blow off the attendant as they told him his Texas oil fields wouldn't go dry in 50 years. Scrooge is on the phone and I see a logic break as Scrooge looks like he's outside on the side shot; but clearly inside on the inside shot of the limo.

Scrooge states that it is only 20 years ago. Maybe your oil got way too popular and therefore ran out quicker. Have you thought about that Scroogie? Scrooge is pissed off and declares that he's going to Texas to check out his oilfields himself. Funny logic break: the telephone is a regular phone on the left side of the limo inside the door; but it didn't appear during the previous scene until right now. That's two logic breaks in thirty seconds. The nephews then run in with their planes asking for 2 cents each on the plane. Man; gas is so cheap even in 1987 compared to today. It would be 60 cents for each plane nowadays; assuming gas powered remote control airplanes even exist today. The attendant proclaims that they are out of gas of course. Huey wonders why they are out and Scrooge tells them that he is going to find out. Scrooge tells them to hop in because they are going to Texas as Huey loves this because they get to play cowboys and Indians. Ah yes; that old racial stereotype game we all loved to play decades ago before PC'ness made it look so offensive in hindsight. They hop in before circling the gas attendant in a cute spot as they ask if they can ride horses and Scrooge proclaims that they may have to since horses don't use gas. But they can make gas: the NEIGH-o-line gas. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...

So we cut to the airport as the limo arrives at the airport and apparently still has enough gas to make it there. I guess they fill it up at a competitors gas station. That has to really piss off Scrooge to no end; but what can you do at this point? And I'm proven wrong as Duckworth stops at the small airplane and declares that they are out of gas. We know this because on the close shot; the needle is at E. E for easy way to piss Al Khan off. Scrooge is lucky to get there though as Scrooge and the nephews hop off. Scrooge tells Duckworth to push the limo home and take the rest of the afternoon off. Duckworth is not amused by THAT order but sells it anyway. He is going to snap at some point; I just know it. Anyhow; the nephews all see Launchpad who apparently magically appeared out of nowhere (what a shock?) and they greet him. Scrooge tries to enter the plane telling Launchpad to fly the jet and fast. However; Launchpad informs him that it's been out of gas for a week. Scrooge isn't amused by that one as this is a catastrophe and a disaster all rolled into one. Launchpad and the nephews think about it and Huey tells them that they have an idea and he is not going to like it. So that logically leads to the airport inside as we see a sign with green wings and Flintheart Glomgold's face on it. HAHA! Scrooge calls buying ticket on Air Glomgold the ultimate humiliation. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. They walk into the hallway as the nephews warns him he wouldn't like it and Scrooge gleefully tells them that he wasn't informed that he was going to hate it. Sadly; that is all the humiliation he actually gets as we logically go to the scene changer to....

Texas and a desert area as we see a ranch with a wooden fence surrounding it and no horses to speak of. We pan over east to see a blue jeep riding into the gate as Scrooge proclaims that this is where they are staying as his oil fields are nearby. The nephews are excited as this is their first time ever at a dude ranch. Which would be considered sexist today. Now it's merely called a ranch. We see a dogsperson wearing all brown with a toothpick in his mouth (ah; even in the cartoons we love today there was no smoking allowed which is fine by me as long as it's merely a guideline and not a hard law to follow.) and a green sash around his neck. They stop in front of a cowboy dogsperson wearing a 10 gallon hat, a brown cow hide coat and a red sash around his neck. This is Tex Doggie (according to Disney Captions; Chris has it as Tex Dogie) and he's also voiced by Alan Oppenheimer. He's the host of the Lucky Duck Dude Ranch. The nephews go over and ask him if he's a real cowboy. Tex sells it as such because his name is Tex see. The nephews want to check out the horses; and Scrooge allows them to go by themselves because he has business to attend to. Then a red truck pulls in as the nephews run off stage left and another dogperson wearing a pink shirt (A cowboy wearing pink? Yeah right?!) with a brown vest, a five gallon white hat and a sash around his neck. He also has a brown mustache and a piece of green wheat in his mouth. He actually addresses himself as Wildcat. Sorry; but there is only one Wildcat in DTVA and he's Baloo's mechanic. Scrooge blows him off for being late and Cowboy WildCat (Chuck McCann. Funny since WildCat was the focus character in Citizen Khan) states that he was out of gas. Scrooge proclaims that there is a lot of that going around here and gets into the passenger side of the red truck and closes the door. They drive away....

.as we head to the oil wells as we see a far shot of the field and a steel building beside it as Scrooge digs sand around proclaiming why his oil fields have run out of gas as we get coloring mistake #1 for the episode as the red truck has turned brown. How about that? Must be prone to rust I guess. Scrooge asks why this might happen and WildCat has no idea how this happen. Figures knowing that his selling is somehow worse than Sandy No-Sell Sweetcheeks. They exchange notes and Scrooge tells him to try harder as he gets sand in his hands so to speak. So we cut to the fence as we see various cowboys and cowgirls (one pig and two birds) sitting on the fence. Check out the weirdo on the far left with the arrow in his ten gallon hat and the star splashes on his green shirt. That smile is so Barney-ish I swear to god the men with the white coats and the net are looking for him as we speak. We pan to the right and see the nephews with cowboy hats and boots with matching color sashes around their neck. How sweet is that? Louie speaks in the old dumb Texas stereotype accent just to get into the act as we cut to the wooden gate as one of the cowhands (with a blue shirt on) opens the gate and here comes Tex Doggie on his horse riding around and showing off for the audience. He is such a wuss. Kit Cloudkicker would be doing flips and handstands by the time Tex does his ride'em cowdog.

Too bad he was working in a mine in Citizen Khan to try and do that. The nephews of course are amused easily as Tex stands up and has his pistol ready as Louie continues with the Texas accent as Tex is jawing on his red sash while shooting the pistol and manages to get about 25 bullets into the steel cans on the fence. They flip their cans and it spells TEX. Tex calls it shooting and trick riding simultaneous (that accent of his is lame by the way). Everyone pops for that one which shows that it doesn't take much to impress a Texan. Dewey points out the obvious without realizing the irony as Tex stops in front of the nephews and cuts a promo on the Lucky Duck Dude Ranch. So explain the female cowboy in the audience Tex? You are just going to ignore her or something? He rides away and warns the nephews to not go into the old ghost town as the nephews are confused. Yeah; because it just isn't a bad wild west episode without a ghost town. Tex explains that the ghost of gunslinger Jesse Jones haunts the town see. With his white buffalo (Frank Welker of course) as Tex rides away hoping that they have a good time. The nephews get giddy as they ultimately decide to ride a horse; go to the desert and stop at the old ghost town all at the same time. You just knew the nephews would want some real decent action instead of seeing Mr. Wuss Texan himself Tex Doggie.

So we cut back to the oil field as the Oil Pumper of Doom is running (so that was the steel building) and Scrooge orders Wildcat to throw...THE SWITCH! Wildcat pulls the black lever (WRONG LEVER!) and Scrooge hears some noises as Wildcat cannot decide what it is. Scrooge looks over and then gets blasted with hot air. HAHA! Kind of like his plans for this oil field at this point. I think this is the work of ELF myself; and they just found ways to do it without attracting attention. Scrooge is helpless at this point as he airs out his grievances to WildCat. Then a car sound beckons and a white Texas limo with a dish and a hot tub on top of the roof (along with golden spurs on the tail wings of the car) arrives in front of the oil field. Scrooge realizes who it is as WildCat gets dumber and dumber by the second. The door opens and it's J.R. Mooing who is the richest oil tycoon in all of Texas. He is another dogsperson wearing a cowboy gear (brown, red and blue this time. Voiced by Frank Welker) and he greets the duo by tipping his hat. Judging by that Barney smile; he is probably a babyface at this point. He is impressed by the hard working antics around here.

J.R informs them that the land is running out of oil and Scrooge wonders how he knew that. Which now makes JR the heel by proxy. JR offers to help them out by selling them some oil rich land and WildCat tells Scrooge that they are out of places to drill oil at this point. The price is of course half of Scrooge's fortune as Scrooge blows him off for robbing him. Ummm; he's not robbing you Scrooge; the land is valuable and therefore very expense. You are just so cheap. Scrooge rolls up his sleeves and tries to go after JR; but WildCat stops him as JR is in the car driving (Wow; he is self made in more ways than one) as he greets him again remembering to insult him as a City Slicker. HAHA! That is so true too. He promises to talk to them again later of course and then drives off. That evil look pretty much gives him away as a heel right there. Scrooge proclaims that JR has a point and he'll lose all of his fortune if he doesn't find oil soon. WildCat then gets off the burn of the episode by stating that JR cannot take any fortune if there isn't one left. Scrooge gleefully blows Wildcat off for that one. HAHA!

So we logically go into the desert as the nephews are riding west (HA!) on a gray horse as Louie is singing a Texas song so badly that Louie would be shot in the face by Dick Cheney just for being such a bad singer. Yeah; I went for the low blow; but seriously, the singing is crappy. Oh wait; it's Huey which somehow makes it worse. He calls Dewey Deadeye Dewey which at least sounds witty. Louie is Lonestar Louie as they are riding on the range like real cowboys....and doing a decent job of it; bad singing notwithstanding. Louie of course screws up on the Texas accent as we cut to the ghost town. We know this because there is no one in the town and there's nothing but tumbleweed being animated by TMS. We pan over east as the horse rides into town with a lot of wind blowing. The horse is called Gluefoot as it stalls while Huey tries to get it to sell properly. Gluefoot goes all Scooby Doo on us (he even sounds like a crappy Scooby Doo which means Frank Welker is voicing him.) as Huey wonders what Gluefoot is scared off. There are currently just buildings and tumbleweeds. Maybe he hates the howling wind. That can be scary when it turns into a tornado.

And then on the front shot we see the dreaded white buffalo roaring and running like crazy. It blitzes the horse and of course we get the dreaded Scooby Doo scare spot and run away spot complete with Hanna Barbera looping effect. Strangely no Hanna Barbera running sound effect. That is kind of sloppy there sound guys. So we cut to a wooden house dressing room as we see Scrooge looking in the mirror (something Mr. Hardcore hates to no end) as he dresses himself as a legit cowboy. If he's trying to disguise himself; he is failing since the dollar signs on his hat give him away. Why wear a porn level mustache Scrooge? He also does the Texas accent and it sounds much better than Louie. I guess age does play a better role in acting the part so to speak. We see that this is actually Scrooge's cabin as WildCat and his cowhand (Alan Oppenheimer) as Scrooge proclaims that he'll get the land for a song which is a cowboy song. He then sings a cowboy song which sounds good; but he cannot resist involving MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH in it. Go figure as WildCat and the cowhand are standing there not exactly amused by all this. Scrooge opens the door and walks out as WildCat and the cowhand blow him off for having an 11 gallon head.

So we head head into the ghost town of doom at the horse gallery as Louie slowly opens the door on the zoom shot as he thinks the white buffalo is no longer on the roam. So the nephews and the Scooby Doo horse can play. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Minus the rabbit of course. The nephews tell Gluefoot to stay inside and the horse is quite glad to accept that. So we cut to a town shot near the BARREL OF LAUGHS as the nephews practice the fine art of not being a ghost town! The nephew head to the saloon (of course) as the door is so high; the nephews only have to slightly duck their heads to get inside. We go to the inside shot and the whole place is deserted of course; but other than one overturned table; there isn't much. Louie wonders if they will run into Jesse Jones while looking for a drink and Dewey points to somewhere and tells the rest of the nephews to ask him.

Man; these nephews are REALLY STUPID as we see the GHOST OF JESSE JONES with a shadow face, red sash and all gray gear except for the leather boots. He blows off the nephew cowboys as greenhorns as he brings out his guns much to the SHOCK of the nephews (Scooby Doo style I might add) and he fires at their feet and tells them to dance. The nephews sell like crazy as the shot miss by about 2 feet. Pretty scary when you consider that KIDS are involved in the spot; however, it's even scarier in TaleSpin when it comes one inch away from hitting you in the head (a scene Disney was forced to cut because of it). Jesse Jones laughs badly as he continues to shoot as the nephews continue to dance off-screen as if he needs to do that to get Disney characters to dance. Dancing is IN THEIR CONTRACT silly. That officially ends the segment ten minutes in.

After the commercial break; we get more dancing as the nephews continue to dodge bullets that are missing by three feet as we cut back to Jesse Jones firing like crazy. We are up to 0.6 Trigun at this point which is a new Ducktales record thus far. Sadly; he runs out of bullets just as the last dance was going to be saved for him. You know you are screwed when THAT happens. He goes to reload as the nephews are tired of dodging and then they run out of the saloon like a bunch of scalded ducks. The ghost isn't impressed at all since he wasn't ready yet. Cowards! It was getting good too as Jesse comes out reloaded and shoots some more as the nephews missing them of course. So we cut to the white Texas house which seems to be the only place where there is green grass growing. JR proclaims that he is going to show that city slicker Scrooge a thing or three. We cut to inside the living room as JR looks in the mirror and it is a typical hunters paradise complete with the cactus' growing near the door. JR proclaims that he is going to soak him for that worthless piece of land of his; he is going to humiliate him see. The mirror shot is sloppy for some reason as Scrooge enters in and greets JR with his Texas accent. I don't think this is going to take much to really screw him JR. Scrooge calls himself Wild Bill Duck and drilling oil is his game. You're not fooling anyone Scrooge McDuck.

JR realizes that it is him right away and decides to play cowboy games with Scrooge anyway. After all; this is Texas after all. JR decides to toy with him by proclaiming that he thought he knew every oil tycoon around these here parts as Will Bill is not from Texas; but from Oklahoma and Louisiana. Remembering to use ie instead of a to sounds like a sloppy Texan I guess. He is looking for some land to buy and JR is game in selling a piece of land that was going to be sold to a dumb city slicker named McDuck. Scrooge of course nearly blows his cover and his mustache; but recoils and puts it back on. JR is not fooled anyway so Scrooge is hosed either way. Scrooge (in bad accent again) giggles as he proclaims that he doesn't want to sell to the likes of him. JR decides to play with him by having Scrooge engage in some cowboy games and the winner will take all. This is not going to end well for Scrooge; I just know it. JR calls him a chicken and Scrooge foolishly agrees to the terms and shakes on the deal. I shake head in shame in response. Scrooge asks what cowboy games are involved and JR tells him to wait and see which is not a good sign for Scrooge right off the bat. Scrooge is now got that goofy look that indicates that he's screwed as this will be a humdinger so to speak.

So we cut back to the ghost town as more tumbleweed is animated by TMS as we see a close shot of the nephews hiding behind a water box as Deadeye thinks that they lost him. Sadly; another bullet fires and misses Dewey by about a foot as Huey blows him off and they bail stage left. Jesse Jones goes to the horse gallery and opens it as Gluefoot is running scared out of there as Jesse proclaims that they are sitting ducks. If only Jesse as the nephews hide in front of the alcohol wagon thinking that Jeese hasn't seen them. Except that they saw Gluefoot running away and Jeese was right beside it with a clear view of the alcohol wagon. Man; that is either a bad logic break; or the nephews are REALLY STUPID. More shooting and the bullets strike the wooden oil barrels as Louie gets hit with the oil like it's blood and faints down. The nephews notice the oil barrels and they go to MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN #1 and they unhook the oil wagon and the BARRELS OF LAUGHS roll down and chase Jesse Jones away; but the barrels hit right on target and Jesse gets flatten. The nephews realize that Jesse Jones isn't a ghost and there is oil in this town. NO?! REALLY?!

The nephews now have to get out of there and tell Scrooge and then they run into an alleyway wondering how they are going to get back to the dude ranch without a horse and then they notice the white buffalo again. Only this time he's tied to a wooden stake and groaning and sobbing. That Jeese is not only an oil thief; he's an animal abuser to boot. Nice CONTINUITY with the oil still on Louie's ten gallon cowboy hat by the way. The cancer music hits as they untie the white buffalo and befriend him. Dewey touches his face and proclaims that it's white paint. One problem with this: Dewey's hands are pure white. How could he tell? Bad, bad logic there fellows. Apparently some one painted him to scare them. This is turning into a Scooby Doo episode now. They ask the white buffalo if they can take them back to the dude ranch and he agrees to the terms as the nephews hop on his head and then get bounced right onto his back with wussy bump. Huey does some more Texan talk and the white buffalo turns around and walks away.

We then go to the scene changer as we return to JR's house as we head to the fence and see JR riding on his horse waving with his cowboy hat and having a good time as Scrooge and WildCat look on from behind the fence. Scrooge blows it off as he thinks any cowpoke can do it and WildCat blows that off for me. Scrooge is going to get absolutely squashed here and he deserves it for thinking that he can cheat a cowboy like JR. Or even WildCat for that matter. Scrooge is on the fence as he grabs his sticky gloves because he needs all the help he can get. WildCat agrees with him on that one. We then cut to see JR's cowhand (Chuck McCann) (the one with the geek shirt and red sash) trying to keep Scrooge's horse at bay long enough for Scrooge to get on it. JR goes over to him and asks if everything is set and the cowhand tells him that El Diablo is the worst they got. Man; that sounds more fitting for Recess than this cartoon; but if you say so JR Cowhand.

JR then decides to do screw Scrooge by unfastening the belt on the saddle for good measure. Yeah; it's cheating. However; Scrooge is being dishonest in trying to act like a cowboy when he isn't even close. Scrooge jumps down and states that here he goes and WildCat can only say yup. So we get a shot of WildCat's reaction while Scrooge rides El Diablo off-screen. Man; BS&P must be in a foul mood this episode if they...oh never mind. We see Scrooge riding horsey and surprisely; he is actually putting on a decent effort. He actually lasts about thirty seconds before the saddle comes out and El Diablo absolutely kicks the saddle and pops Scrooge right out of the ranch and maybe out of the episode real good. Okay; the last one I doubt, but whatever. It was a really good spot and done properly by TMS. Scrooge actually hits the fence flush and manages to stay on at the same time. Scrooge goes all dizzy (he must feel no pain from his hurt groin at this point) as the gloves paid off. WildCat can only say: Yup. We then see JR on his horse waltz in and blows off Scrooge because he has all the points thus far.

Scrooge is not amused by that so we go to the scene changer and see JR with his pistol taking it out quickly and shoots as he hits the target on the slap hand pretty well. JR calls this some fancy shooting as then he goes to his coat and invokes the sticky glue into the holder. Funny since we saw glue on the handle when JR was using the pistol to shoot and now it's gone. Another bad logic break by TMS. JR gives the gun belt to Scrooge and Scrooge ties it another his waist proclaiming that he'll show him some fancy shooting. Scrooge grabs the gun and it goes off in the holder and he almost literally shoots himself in the foot. HAHA! He only hits the golden spur on his right boot of course. BS&P RULEZ! Scrooge giggles as he is slow on the draw. So we cut to the Lucky Duck Dude Ranch AFTER HAPPY HOUR (After dark) as JR's car drives into the parking lot. It stops and JR really drops Scrooge off onto the ground with a wussy bump as JR tells him that he has lost his entire fortune and he doesn't have a home on the range. He waves goodbye and drives off as Scrooge's mustache comes off and that ends the segment 15 and a half minutes in. Man; these logic breaks are tearing my hair out in an otherwise good episode.

After the commercial break; we go to the far shot of the Lucky Duck Dude Ranch as we zoom in and see Scrooge get up and swear in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE (Curse me kilts!) as he is in a real mess. That will teach you to try to play on JR's turf on something you don't know how to do. The nephews do a better job in being cowboys than you do to boot; just to make the pain even worse for you. Scrooge's Cowhand arrives as we see Gluefoot is at the ranch now as Scrooge asks where his sidekicks went. Scrooge's Cowhand states that they were riding on Gluefoot and Scrooge panics that they could be lost in the desert alone and scared...and of course white buffalo rides into the ranch with the nephews just to make Scrooge sound more paranoid than usual. The nephews inform Scrooge that the ghost town is a fake and Jesse Jones is a fake too as Scrooge is confused on what is going on. The nephews hop off as Huey tells the white buffalo that he is free now. The white buffalo nudges on Huey and then runs away free as a bird now. Scrooge then notices oil on Louie's hat and asks where they got it from. Louie states that they got it from a barrel in the ghost town. Scrooge then tells the lads to saddle up because he thinks he knows where to find his missing oil. So we go to a scene changer as Scrooge and the nephews ride on horses and they find a watering hole and the horse stop and start drinking. Scrooge then finally admits that his spine is hurting and has done a lot of adventuring; but he is no cowboy. He tried to be something that he is not ; but he and the nephews are tough and the nephews agree with that in unison.

Scrooge is happy to hear that as they head into the ghost town as the wind is even more obvious than before. The nephews and Scrooge carry their horses in this time as they go to the saloon. I guess Gluefoot has gotten over his fear of the town now that apparently they told the horse that it's a fake. The nephews look to the left and notices that the barrels are gone as well as the oil wagon. Scrooge proclaims that they must be hidden somewhere. Scrooge does the old split up routine from Scooby Doo as the nephews go east and Scrooge heads west. Scrooge walks downtown on the sky shot and then sneaks into the saloon. Umm; weren't they in front of the saloon when they parked their horses? I'm sorry if I'm not counting logic breaks in this episode because I want to get into the last quest of Final Fantasy IV: The After Years; so that's why I'm being quick here. Scrooge looks down to check for anyone and Jesse Jones's steps behind the saloon door and can see Scrooge just fine as Scrooge panics on cue. He opens the doors and Scrooge goes flying and no bump is present when he drops on his knees off-screen.

Jesse tells Scrooge to get on his feet as Scrooge assures him that he's no sidewinder. Scrooge gets up and states that he's Scottish for the first time as we get the gunslinger shot of Jesse as he calls him a fureign sidewinder which is even worse. Funny how they misused the word worst by Disney Captions even though Jesse says it. So it's typical Texas misuse of grammar. Jesse wants a showdown as he goes for his gun as Scrooge confuses it with hoedown because he has no pistols to counter him. Scrooge realizes that he has no gun when Jesse orders him to go for it and Scrooge runs away stage right. He's going for his gun see. Scrooge looks backwards as he is being chased by bullets and sees the bank. We know this because there is a dollar sign on the top. Funny how Scrooge can find the bank looking backwards even if the shot implies that it is in front of him. Scrooge enters the bank but forgets to close the door. So you would think that Jesse would go into the bank after noticing the door was open. Instead he runs away stage right. D'OH!

So we cut to the nephews going east as we get a swaying sign in the wind just to set the tone of fear so to speak. Sadly; Jesse notices them right away and now he's PISSED as he demands answers to this outrage. The nephews bail stage right and head for the sheriff's office and remember to close the door this time. We know it's the sheriff's office because it has a silver star on top. Sadly the door flings open and Jesse gets his hands ready to grab them as the nephews hide in the jail underneath a bench. Man; these nephews are REALLY STUPID to do that as Jesse slams the jail cell door and they are trapped. So we cut back to outside the bank as the door is now closed for no good reason. Man; the mistakes just keep piling up in this episode. We cut to inside as Scrooge pops up from the bank vault as he calls it the scariest thing he has ever seem. I think Drake is more scary than Jesse Jones at this point. Trust me Scrooge; I know from experiencing him. Of course there is a bank with no MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. HAHA! Scrooge opens up the bank vault door and decides to find the lads.

He runs off as we see the nephews in jail (how ironic considering what happened to them in Transmission Impossible) as Dewey grabs the bars; but no dice. HA! If this was Kit; he would try to go in between the bars to escape; but Citizen Khan proved that to be ineffective. Still better than Dewey's method though. The door opens off-screen and there is swearing in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE (Curse me kilts!) as Scrooge walks into some object off-screen and is in slight pain. The nephews notice his voice and yell at him to get them out of jail. Sadly; Scrooge meets them and Jesse Jones appears with his gun as he tells him that he is going to rot. Scrooge raises his arms as the jail cell door opens and Jesse kicks Scrooge into the cell complete with a decent bump this time. Scrooge proclaims that he'll never get away with this and Jesse locks the cell door and blows him off gleefully. Jesse than goes to a conviently placed lamp and twists it to reveal a secret passageway opening. Yeap; this is now a Scooby Doo episode. Scrooge tells the nephews to be quiet because he can hear an oil pump pumping as Scrooge proclaims that it is pumping it's oil fields dry. The nephews wonder how they are going to get out of here as the white buffalo from earlier arrives grunting. The nephews notice him right away and wonder if he can bust them out of here. They tie the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE to the cell bars and the white buffalo pulls like nothing else before and that causes the entire half of the cell to break open with MAN-SIZED bumps arising. The babyfaces cheer for victory as the cell door is now ajar as the white buffalo grunts in glee. The white buffalo runs off stage right as Scrooge and the nephew twist the lamp on the passageway and enter inside.

So we cut to inside the oil pumping room as Jesse Jones mans the oil pump and we see a pool filled with oil. Jesse proclaims that it is working like a charm. Scrooge and the nephew walk in onto the deck as they notice a chart showing in blue McDuck oil; the white line being a pipeline (Scrooge's of course) and the pipeline leads to the ghost town. Now there is little doubt someone is stealing his oil now which leaves only two people left as suspects: Tex Doggie and JR Mooing. I'm picking Tex since we have seen JR at home for most of the episode anyway. The nephews grab the conveniently placed rope and it's the triple LASSO OF BANES TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE. The nephews lasso Jesse Jones good from the boots to the shoulders as Jesse Jones is now an inchworm standing up. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Scrooge goes over to the lever (WRONG LEVER! There is a lever there. I didn't see that earlier in the scene.) and pulls it to stop the oil from pumping in the ghost town and then it pumps in reverse as we return to McDuck's oil field as the fields rumble and there is now oil spraying everywhere including on Wildcat who sits there doing nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING. I wondered where Wildcat went.

So we go back to inside the oil pumping room as Huey wants to know who Jesse Jones really is as he takes off the face mask and it's Tex Doggie. Which is the most predictable outcome you could possibly get. Sadly; it's the only one that makes sense since JR Mooing couldn't have been there in the first place. Scrooge proclaims that the Lucky Duck dude ranch is out of business and McDuck Oil is back in business. NOW WAIT A MINUTE! I thought if JR won the bet; that means Scrooge loses McDuck Oil by proxy along with his fortune. Oh swell; then JR better be part of the scheme with Tex; or this is a huge gap of logic I see here. So we cut back to the front of the Lucky Duck Dude Ranch as we see the nephews, Scrooge, WildCat and JR at an open campfire as JR praises him for handling that hombre like a real cowboy. Huh?! And then he decides to let him out of the deal and admits that he cheated. SWEVERE! Goodbye bad logic break; hello good episode. Scrooge then offers the babyface some of his Texas Style Chili. The babyfaces minus Scrooge eat up and everyone goes fire alarm screaming on us as they bail to the nearest watering box they could find; drinking more than a horse would. HAHA! Scrooge proclaims that he might be a city slicker; but it's a hot time in the old town tonight. HAHA! Scrooge laughs to end the episode at 21:16. Just an above average Scooby Doo-equse episode with silly logic breaks and a neat SWEVERE. *** ½ (70%).


I'm going to be short on this one because this is basically a pretty good Scooby Doo like episode which should imply what you are going to see. I did like the JR turn at the end because they were dangerously close to breaking logic big time with Tex Doggie being Jesse Jones which made total sense in the context of the episode because there is no way JR Mooing could be the guy. JR was basically a jerk-off heel who wanted to make Scrooge his bitch and succeeded since Scrooge was way over his head. I also liked that he cheated because it made the twist ending even more convincing. Otherwise; most of the characters were place holders for the Scooby Doo mystery to follow. Tex Doggie was okay in his role; the white buffalo was good and everyone else was just there. There were a few logic breaks that looked silly; mostly due to TMS coloring mistakes and bad decisions on the writers part. This was pretty much a middling episode; but still better than Citizen Khan, that much I am certain. So we end Disc One with Time Teasers which is Gyro's new time freezing device. So....

Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.


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