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Time Teasers

Reviewed: 09/12/2009

Nothing more symbolic that getting your gun replaced with a wiener.

It's hard to believe; but we are at the end of Disc 2 already in about six weeks. That has to be a new record; even for my rant career. So we end with of course the Time Freeze Device; thus giving SquareEnix another magic spell to steal from. Is it any good? Let's rant on and find out shall we....?!

This episode was written by Anthony Adams. The story is edited by Tedd Anasti and Patsy Cameron.

So we begin this one with the far shot of the Money Bin and we pan east to see some bluebirds tweeting (but not on Twitter see) and flying towards the east as we go to the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM. We hear Scrooge yawning as he blows off the nephews for being late to breakfast again. We go inside the dining room as Scrooge is sitting in his chair at the end of the table as Duckworth gets in his ten seconds of work for the episode (to show Zipper how it's done) pouring orange juice into the glass. See the nephews have yet to learn that the early bird catches the...and then the nephews run in wonder what there is to eat. Wow; that was fast. Barely 17 seconds after Scrooge said that they are late too. Maybe they were trying to find their clothes Scroogie. Have you ever thought of that? After all; it's tough to find three matching shirts in that house. Oh; and they don't have their baseball caps on to show that at least they have some manners. They of course miss Duckworth by about three feet; but the power of suggestion allows Duckworth to struggle to maintain balance on his ultra ass stack of pancakes.

Wow; he went from pouring orange juice to grabbing the stack of pancakes. This guy IS a magic man. No wonder he snapped in Duckworth's Revolt. The nephews sit down as Scrooge lectures them about his golden pocket watch and the nephews say that they know. Considering that they were only about 30 seconds late tops; I think Scrooge is being a wee bit more piss antiness than he usually is. Duckworth serves pancakes as Scrooge reminds them that they are delivering cargo orders for Gyro's Invention of the Month club. So Gyro has a life after all?! SHOCKING!!! Huey wants to go to the Duckberg Mallards baseball game this morning and do Gyro's deliveries in the afternoon according to Dewey. And it's bad manner to stand on the chair Dewey; not to mention doing pointless zoom in shots to boot. Scrooge of course wants the nephews to stack all of his coins by date and value by dinnertime. The nephews don't like that; but Scrooge tells them that he can only trust them to do it. No wonder Duckworth snapped in...well; you know. The nephews agree to it as Scrooge expects the nephews to be there by noon as he pours syrup on his pancakes.

So we logically go to Gyro's house on the far shot as Huey is whining since it's 10 o'clock and the baseball game is starting. We then see the nephews park their bikes declaring that they might miss the Mallards actually win a baseball game. If that's the case then why haven't the Mallards been contracted yet? I mean; how in the world can you make that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH if you lose every game. Unless they are the opposite of the Harlem Globetrotters and they find funny ways to LOSE a game that makes people want to come back just to see if they find a funny or unique way to lose another one. Anyhow; Louie states that there isn't enough time to do what they want to do and everyone else wants us to do. These mallards so do not know about time management; or when to say no. Gyro opens the door and asks them to come in since he has the deliveries ready to deliver so to speak as they go in and we pan over to see Gyro's latest invention for the Invention Of the Month Club: a combination hair dryer/popcorn maker. And you thought Buzz's inventions were off the wall? At least Buzz's make some sense and are funny. Unless you are a Kit fan and don't like symbolic trashing of a character if you catch my drift (See Baloo Thunder).

It shows a dummy (HA! Speak for yourself Gyro.) with a pink cover in a hairdryers chair; and there is a place to put the corn in too. Gyro: Corny Hairdresser. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I suits him quite well methinks. He tries it and it actually works too well as there is popcorn everywhere. Huey calls it a winner. It sure is Huey: A winner for greasy haired dorks everywhere. AHHAHAHAHAHA! ZAP! OUCH! Ummm.. Gyro goes over to his work table and proclaims that he has something AWESOME (read: dorky) lined up for next month. He grabs the golden compass (read: the plot device for this episode) as he calls it the Time Teaser. Hence the title of this episode as he tells them to not let anyone take their hats while he's gone. The nephews are confused as Gyro invokes the Time Teaser and he disappears from sight in a golden light. Dewey then gets off Golly #1 for the episode three minutes in; after about two episodes of golly free action. And then their hats magically disappear. HAHA! See; make the dorky crack and then pay it off. Gyro then reappears with their hats as Huey goes all Quackeroonie on us. Louie wonders how he did that and Gyro flips their hats back on their heads as he states that he was moving too fast for him to see him. The nephews want to try it and Gyro agrees to it as he goes over to the table where the goldfish bowl is (complete with stylish M for Marilyn) and invokes the fish food on it and the goldfish jumps and just as she does that Gyro invokes the Time Teaser of Doom and it stops the fish in mid air. Huey proclaims that is like being a fish out of water. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.

Haste and Stop all in one device. Square takes notes; and I nod in approval. Gyro proclaims that this is not all as he opens the door and everyone outside has stopped cold on the streets. I see one logic break in this: How can the nephews still be moving? Unless there is a certain radius you can be in to be protected from the Stop spell. I hope that they explain it better because it's going to cause problems later on if they don't. Gyro states that everyone is frozen because Gyro and the nephews are moving so fast and then he clicks the Time Teaser again and everything is back to regular speed. This is a pretty great technique for How It's Made guys. Gyro proclaims that anyone who owns this will have all the time in the world. Do I smell plot device commencing; methinks? Gyro then makes the error of putting the device on his desk and then climbing up to the top because he has a dish to rewire so to speak. The nephews wave goodbye and they have a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN cooking: Steal Gyro's device and use it to complete everything they need and then go and watch the baseball game; and help Uncle Scrooge. So they go over to the device as we cut to Gyro at the television dish on the roof putting two wires together and we got sparks flying. 2:1 odds that this scene was cut for Disney Channel airings. Huey pushes the button as Gyro falls down DA....HOLE (God bless Baby Plucky) and he stops in mid air with wires wrapped around him. HAHA! Now that is the perfect picture of a lifeless dork right there.

So we cut to a sky shot of the street as Huey declares that the Time Teaser is great as we see the nephews riding their bicycles (with their stuff on it) on the street. See; they can finish their deliveries and catch the game...all without any traffic to slow them down too. HAHA! And that is exactly what they do as we cut to the baseball stadium outside with various furries frozen in time on one of the weirdest pan/zoom shots I have ever seen. Then we cut to home plate as a pig catcher is frozen along with a dog furry in gray baseball gear (with a red Q on the uniform to boot) looking quite cocky (sleep walking it seems literally) as he is frozen in time and near home plate about 15 feet away. We see the frozen crowd with stuff thrown in mid air. See; this plot device works great because TMS can be so cheap in animating the episode and still look good because the plot device can cover up the obvious fact that this is television animation. Although it does have the downside of giving animation studios ideas to do that regardless of the plot device. We see the nephews in badly drawn blue seats as they proclaim that watching frozen baseball isn't fun to watch or play. Huey proclaims that they'll have to restart time to enjoy the game so he invokes the Time Teaser and everything restarts as the slightly stiff animated crowd boos the home team out of the building. This is truly the ECW Stadium. AHHAHAHAHAHA! And for an added bonus of funny; we cut back to Gyro's house inside as Gyro finally falls down with the wires and takes a good bump onto the wooden floor. HAHA! That is called getting your manhood rewired. HEE HEE! Gyro gets up and notices the Time Teaser is gone as we cut back to the roof of the baseball stadium as the Ganders are clobbering the Mallards 16-0 AT HOME. I've seen worse defeats out of the Toronto Bluejays (22-2 anyone?) AT HOME; so these guys are like ECW fans.

We then go to the nephews close shot as Louie states the obvious score and Huey proclaims that they ALWAYS LOSE. And it's still the first inning. Okay; that is officially worse than ANY team I know in the MLB. Huey then gets inspired (I think the Chili Dog he's eating is giving his flashbacks he DOESN'T need) and winks as we cut to the Ganders pitcher (I thought that they were the Queer Ganders since the city of a team uses the front letter on a uniform? Whatever...) winds up and we have the pitch....He's a rat by the way as Huey invokes the Time Teaser and everything stops again. The Mallard tries to swing; but he's frozen solid as well as everyone else. Man; that floating windup the pitcher uses really makes him higher than a kite. The nephews then run onto the field as Huey goes over and puts the frozen baseball at the middle of the plate because even a loser team like the Mallard can HIT THE DAMN ball there. Louie turns the big dog center fielder around to face it from behind. Dewey goes over to the third base side and removes the dog's black belt. The nephews return to their seats as I see a pig rich man drinking a bottle of wine on the right side of the screen. In a baseball game?! That is whack! Huey restarts time again and the batter hits the ball to deep center field and it bounces off the yellow wall and inside. Ummm; check your internal logic there.

The ball bounced on the wall and then down; and since it did; DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) state that it's a home run. Logic break #1 for the episode. Because of course we have to pay off the third basemen losing his pants in the middle of a game silly. The crowd tells the idiot to run (Peter Cullen) as he finally gets it and runs. These Mallards are REALLY STUPID. Wonder if Drake Mallard is the owner. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm..The runner reaches third base easily despite a good throw from the center fielder; mostly due to the fact that he of course loses his pants. They are blue spotted by the way. We cut to the nephews getting giddy because they can stop time on every pitch and make the Mallards cheat...ERRR...I mean win their first game ever. Which means that they'll get contracted after the season is over because the fun of seeing them lose in funny and unique ways would be OVER. The crowd chants Mallards for the first time in a long while as we go to the rat pitcher winding up again for the pitch and he throws it. Which means Huey stops time again as it's a warthog furry frozen in time as the batter. Dewey puts the ball in the front this time. Louie goes over to shortstop who is fat and tall with one good eye (his right one of course) and pulls the hat over his eyes and then jumps down. Huey goes over to left field (or is it right field; I know it's not center) as he blows a bubble from his pink gum and it goes right in his face. Funny how BS&P has zero problems having a boy do that spot properly; but when a girl does it, they have to have the bubble gum disappear in an instant.

Huey puts the gum into the mitt of the pig furry. They return to their seats and restart time as the blind shortstop is more blind than ever and the ball reaches right field (or is it left?) as the pig furry grabs it and tries to throw the ball; but it's stuck in the mitt with bubble gum. The Mallards must be so beyond predictable if the nephews are able to figure out what play is coming. He gets bopped by the paddle ball effect and gets knocked out as three runs come in to score (that is logic break #2 for the episode since only one runner was ON base in the game). So the Mallards get inspired as they hit more balls good and they send about 30 men to the plate in the first inning and score all 16 runs back to tie the game as we see the scoreboard spin like crazy.

We then go to the crowd on the scene changer as two dogspeople wearing matching hats (one brown, one gray), and matching suits (brown with orange tie, blue with red bow tie) as the blue suit fan (Peter Cullen) cannot believe that the Mallards are winning 32-16. So we cut back to the same rat pitcher in some recycled footage (Ummm; in real baseball we would be up to our fifth relief pitcher by now if someone allows 16 runs in the first inning.) as Huey stops time again. Louie then notices the clock is at 11:45 am (a baseball played in the morning?) and Huey proclaims that it's time to go that even the Mallards cannot lose this one since it's the last inning. The nephews run out of the stadium as we see Bankjob Beagle (with pistol) and Babyface Beagle (with money sacks) running away pointing at the security guard who is tied up and gagged (Hey doesn't he look like the police officer we saw in Golden Suns episode 1?) . The nephews need to do something as they go over to the Beagle Boys and tie their shoelaces to their shoes; take the money sack and then in one of the funniest screw jobs taken in the wrong contexts to be sick and wrong; they replace the gun with a hotdog. Nothing more symbolic than shooting from you wiener. AHHAHAHAHAHA! ZAP! OUCH! Ummmmm...

Louie unties and ungags the security guard and then gives him the pistol; putting it in his hands. Dewey and Huey place the money sacks (Huh? I guess there were two sacks since we saw Bankjob Beagle's hand open like he was grabbing something else) and then the nephews bail away stage right. Then Huey restarts time as the beagle boys are SHOCKED AND APPALLED that the police officer is shooting at them. Bankjob Beagle goes for his gun; but it's a hot dog and it slips out of his hands with ketchup AND MUSTARD~! You know your sex life is dead when THAT happens. The Beagle Boys try to bail; but they get tripped up by their shoelaces being tied together to their shoes and they go splat with wussy bumps and then they inchworm the hell out of there. The shooting continues as the two inchworm boys crawl into the green car (driven by Big Time it seems) and they drive away much to the disdain of the nephews who are on their bicycles ready to ride.

So we cut to the green car as it drives away from the scene. Babyface isn't happy about losing the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH; but Bankjob blows him off because it's small change. So they have a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN: Rob from Scrooge's Money Bin again; attempt #302. Bugle Beagle (the driver so it's not Big Time this time around voiced by Brian Cummings) likes that as the car drives around the bend. We cut to the Money Bin as we get a pan shot of some movers moving stuff from his Money Bin (and some of them look like the same guys who put the super lock combination on his vault from Scrooge's Pet too) as we cut to a pan shot of the green car driving as Bankjob Beagle has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN up his sleeve so to speak. Babyface likes this because Bankjob has NEVER had one of those and he gets some eye contact for his troubles. Well; he has Hoppo's weight; so it's apporos. POW! OUCH! Ummm... We cut to the nephews as they have one minute left until noon so they'll have to stop time once again. And so what happens next? We cut to Scrooge in his bathing suit on his pocket watch proclaiming the same thing the nephews did. Scrooge then decides to think about punishment for the nephews while he dives into the Money Bin and then get back to work. Huey then invokes the Time Teaser and of course Scrooge stops in mid air on the dive as we cut to outside as we see the movers frozen in time moving (and one of them is from Scrooge's Pet) as the nephews run into the Money Bin. They go into the vault and decide to let Scrooge down easy.

So Huey invokes the Time Teaser and Scrooge screws up his dive and falls on top of his coins. HAHA! I guess that proves that it does take skill to dive into your money lake like Scrooge usually does. Scrooge demands answers for this outrage. I want an answer to why Scrooge is wearing that silly bathing suit of is and those silly orange boots? Huey tells him not to get upset because they are right on time and Scrooge is dumbfounded as to why they showed up OUT OF NOWHERE. And then Gyro walks in much to the shock of the nephews as he has a reason for this. You know Gyro is a humble dork when he cannot get mad at the nephews for STEALING his device. So we cut into the office as the Beagle Boys are dressed as movers (check the blue shirts) which would be fine if they didn't wear those stupid masks on. Gyro decides to demonstrate by invoking the Time Teaser and he disappears as we see some flashing off the coat rack and then Scrooge realizes that he has his top hat and cane OUT OF NOWHERE. One problem: There was no hat and cane on the coat rack. Logic break #3 for the episode as Scrooge calls this fantastic. No; I call this logic breaking from TMS. Gyro returns as Bankjob is loving this device as they go inside. Gyro proclaims that he can do a days work in a few minutes as Scrooge isn't so sure because it seems a little unnatural to him. And then Bankjob Beagle steals the device from Gyro and bails as the nephews and Scrooge realize who they are. Bankjob, Bugle and Babyface get together to have the time of their lives as they invoke the Time Teaser and they disappear before Gyro can grab them. The Beagle Boys laugh at his expense as Gyro can only stand there on a zoom shot and that ends the segment nearly 11 minutes in.

After the commercial break; we return as the Beagle Boys return. And since they are fast in time; Scrooge, the nephews and Gyro are frozen in time. One problem; Gyro is now IN the vault when he should be outside. Logic break #4 for the episode as the Beagle Boy walk in and taunt Scrooge as they have the time. They laugh as Bankjob does a poke job on Scrooge's ribs and Scrooge sells it in normal time. HAHA! The nephews then notice that the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH is being stolen rapidly. NO?! REALLY?! Maybe you should have minded your own business when you screwed up their robbery of the baseball game earlier. Scrooge is not amused as Gyro proclaims that they are too slow. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Scrooge then notices some conveniently placed pile of money and tries to grab it; but the Beagle Boys steal that too. Okay; that was a wee bit too contrived for my liking there guys. Good bump from Scrooge though when he falls down as we cut to outside in fast time as the Beagle Boys run off with the wheel barrows of MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH from the Money Bin laughing all the way to the bank. We then cut to the docks as we see a frozen in time ocean liner with seagulls (with Beagle Boys and Scrooge's fortune) as Bankjob proclaims that they will have to unfreeze time to get out of the country.

They use the Time Teaser and everything unfreezes as we cut back to Scrooge doing one of the best stuttering jobs I have ever witnessed. Sadly; for the Beagle Boys they didn't have the foresight to pick up the trail of gold coins that they dropped on the floor and of course the babyfaces notice it and follow. Like a bloodhound as Scrooge would say. Then we see Scrooge slowly walk out picking up every coin out of the office. HEE HEE! Scrooge has never heard of a vacuum cleaner before. We then cut to the street as a green suit/pant wearing dogsperson with a brown hat sees a gold coin and tries to pick it up; but Scrooge slaps the hand away from him and invokes eye contact violence on him. He does tip his hat to him though before leaving to show that he has manners. Riiiiiighhhhhttt. Gyro and the nephews follow as Scrooge almost gets his arm cut off by a passing car on the street; but he recoils and grabs the coin on the street. Sadly; it's not his so he puts it in his top hat to give it a good home. Scrooge then turns around and he stuttering again as he sees the ocean liner slowly sailing away with his fortune. Scrooge runs on the docks; but Gryo and the nephews stop him lest he turns into Super Duck again. See; I knew the nephews were smart enough to realize Scrooge's abilities.

They drag Scrooge away as Scrooge protests this outrage while we cut back to the front of the ship with Bankjob on the wheel and Babyface laughing Scrooge off. We cut to the back of the ship as Bugle Beagle has the binoculars and he panics because Scrooge, Gyro and the nephews are after him in the motorboat. Bankjob and Babyface come out as Bankjob grabs the binoculars and realizes that he is going to have to freeze time again. Sadly; Babyface wants to do it as Bankjob foolishly moves around and the Time Teaser falls and crashes; shattering into a million pieces. I just knew that a Beagle Boy would screw this up sooner or later. The thing flashes like crazy and the whole ship disappears into thin air as Scrooge cannot believe this as Gyro points out the obvious. Gyro then points out that the Time Teaser has slipped back 100 years as Scrooge is taken aback by this as Bankjob and company at first see the docks of 1987 and then see nothing but a wooden cabin settlement dating back to 1887. Even though it looks more like 1787. We see the ocean liner reappear as they realize that there is nothing left in Duckberg Bay but them.

And a bunch of natives rowing on their canoes. These Beagle Boys ARE RACISTS! Oh wait; they are also heels. I should have expected nothing less from them. Babyface gets giddy since there is a Pirate Ship as he runs complete with Hanna Barbera running sound effect. We then see the pirate ship sailing near the bay (shouldn't the shot be reserved since we saw part of the ship on the left side next to the ocean liner) and then we see Dogface Pete (check the Will Ryan voice; I'm not fooled guys) dressed up as a pirate captain ordering his men (both dogs wearing similar pirate gear with really evil faces on) to fire as they are sea slugs. We cut to the far shot as the cannons fire on cue and they land right on top of Scrooge's fortune and the gold must have been a cushion because it does zero damage whatsoever. SOMEONE FIRE THOSE CANNONS! Oh wait; that isn't right. I mean; SOMEONE FIRE THAT PIRATE SHIP! That's better.

The Pirate Ship gets in close as we get the ADR pirate yell as the shoe wearing pirates use their grappling hooks to hook onto the edge of the ocean liner. Then we cut to the flag pole of the ocean liner and the black flag with skull and cross bones is on it as we cut to the pig pirate (wearing sandals by the way- Brian Cummings) checking the gold and there is not a gold doubloon in the lot as Dogface Pete is now Captain Blackheart. Okay; his full name is Captain Dogface Pete Blackheart. Same thing guys. This is not 1887 (or 1787); the Beagle Boys are in Dogface Pete's wet dreams. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm....Blackheart grabs onto Babyface Beagle proclaiming that at least he caught some slimy sea dogs. Damn; it's always the kid with the propeller hat that gets bullied first in these situations. Bankjob states that they are Beagles as they are scared stiff. They like pirates see as Blackheart seems to be game for that as he wants some entertainment; making sure to press the sword around the Beagle Boys throat. You know something; this is a pretty good gimmick Dogface Pete should use in Ducktales...or Goof Troop for that matter. 2:1 odds this is cut from Disney Channel too; unless it's only kids not allowed to get that spot (See Polly Wants A Treasure). The pig pirate proclaiming that it is Blackheart's birthday (AWWWWWW!) and he is having a party and therefore the Beagle Boys are the entertainment for said party.

So we cut to present time as we are at sea...IN A TUB! Complete with pipe shower head, speakers and red alert siren on the backside. This Gyro Gearloose fellow is truly living up to his name. Evidence #100 that he created Agent X. Scrooge and the nephews are inside as Gyro explains that this is the Time Tub. I guess this was his week after the Time Teaser invention for the Invention Of The Month Club. Who said Gyro has no life? Oh wait...Scrooge wants to know where his MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. I want to know when the nephews are going to apologize for CAUSING this chain of events. Gyro then takes out a wooden box which contains a thermometer and time places as he puts it into the sky. See; they burned a hole in the fabric of time which makes no sense either way and Gyro needed something to justify the obvious cartoon logic. They went back to 1687 which makes sense for the time period that the Beagle Boys are in; but didn't Gyro already say that they went back 100 years? That renders that quote false and a pointless waste of time. Gyro twists the shower head as he wants to land on the deck of the ocean liner; but they make it and land about ten feet short of the Pirate Ship. D'OH! We go to the bottom up shot as we see Blackheart and his crew pop up onto the edge saying that they have more entertainment for his birthday party. He laughs with the pirates as Gyro tries to push some buttons on his green panel machine; but they do nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING. Gyro shrugs as everyone is screwed to end the segment 15 and a half minutes in.

After the commercial break; we go to a shot of the Pirate Ship and Ocean Liner AFTER HAPPY HOUR (After dark) as we pan over to the island and see Captain Blackheart and his goon squad sitting at the wooden table drinking the WE KNOW IT'S ALCOHOL BUT WE'RE NOT TELLING DRINKS as Blackheart sings happy birthday to himself. Great animation all around as the pirate dance with their weapons and are happy. The pig pirate comes over with the birthday cake (complete with skull and crossbones I might add) and we all know what happens to cakes in cartoons now do we. About the same thing that happens to them in professional wrestling. There are about 20 blue candles on it as the pig pirates puts it on the table in front of Blackheart and he blows them out easily as his crew cheers. Well; it doesn't take much to amuse them I guess. We cut over to the pirate holding tent as a pirate is watching while Scrooge is blowing off the Beagle Boys for their stealing. Bankjob defends himself because he only wanted the money and Scrooge proclaims that he's getting his money back to his own time.

Gyro suggests hooking up his Time Tub to the steamers controls in order to return to their own time; or out of Pete's wet dreams. Same thing. POW! OUCH! Ummm.... Huey points out the problem of performing for Captain Blackheart and Scrooge proclaims that this is what they'll do. Scrooge and Gyro will perform first; then the nephews and while the Beagle Boys are performing; they will go to the ship as the whispering circle arises. Man; these pirates are dumb if one of them doesn't NOTICE that something is up with that circle. And why not just let the Beagle Boys perform NOW instead of later. Oh wait; I know. So the writers can pad the time up silly. Still; this could be good as we cut back to Blackheart opening his gifts and he gets a leather shoe for his peg leg. He calls them the swellest bunch of beach scum ever. Awww; that is so sweet of him to say that. Blackheart then proclaims that it's time to bring out the entertainment at 16:45 which means that we will spend the next five minutes or so on the 1687's version of America's Got Talent.

The pirates cheer as we cut to the tent stage as Gyro and Scrooge are up to start. Yeah; it's the DOUBLE CANE INCIDENT~! Gyro and Scrooge sing out of tune as they want a soft shoe and Scrooge gets MURDERED with a soft shoe right on the noggin. SCORE!! See make the joke and then pay it off. Scrooge falls down and I laugh out loud. They get the hook as the tomatoes fly and the goofs get taken off the stage before the pirates have a real chance to boo them off the island. The nephews are up next as the nephews get on stage and Huey tells them to get down and funky. He must have watched too many Dusty Rhodes promos to try THAT one. They break dance and that actually works as the crowd pops for that. This is like the 1687 version of the Jonas Brothers; only these nephews can act and dance. Sadly; I doubt that they can sing; but that's only one strike against them compared to the Jonas Brothers. We cut back to the holder's tent as Scrooge lays out the plan to the Beagle Boys as they do some entertainment while Scrooge gets the ship and blows the whistle on the ocean liner.

No matter how much the Beagle Boys deserve this fate, you cannot mess with time. It's unnatural and just inviting death and destruction. The Beagle Boys are confused on the swim part as Bankjob wants to know why they have to deal with the wolves and Scrooge gleefully answers that one for me. Scrooge proclaims that they won't leave without them and his word is LAW see. The nephews go off stage as the whistling and cheering goes on off-screen. The nephews tell the Beagle Boys that they are on. I guess the pirates want to be fair in this competition as the Beagle Boys get on stage as the pirates cheer for entertainment or death. Does it really make any difference in this episode? Bankjob asks if they are ready and Bugle blows is whistle to get into the spirit of things. The song is called; I Want A Girl and man if the lyrics are correct, I can sense the PTC being all over this even though this is old fashion values without fail. Their singing is actually really good which makes Scrooge and Gyro look like something out of Miley Cyrus grandparents. POW! OUCH! Ummm...They show a heart containing the first image of Ma Beagle for rant purposes or if CONTINUITY was used instead; Bitch Beagle. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm.. She has a purple daisy in her straw hat; how cute! The pirates are emotionally spent which is funny considering that this really isn't a pathos song at all. The babyfaces are impressed as even the guard is weeping which is the signal for the babyfaces to bail for the ocean liner.

They bail stage right as we cut to the Pirate Ship as the nephews and Scrooge are on top lowering the Time Tub down so Gyro can catch it. As that is going on we cut back to the stage as the awesome singing continues with Sweet Adeline. I guess that's Ma Beagle's real first name I guess. I see Babyface's shirt is too small as we clearly see his bare belly like a bad midriff out of Kim Possible. Why don't parent's groups bat an eye when a male does it? We then cut back to the docks as Scrooge and the rest of the babyface row the Tim Tub towards the ocean liner. Now the pirates and the boys start singing the song on stage together which is silly considering that now they have a clear line of sight to see the ocean. Logic break #5 for the episode as it's Wuzzle's Logic Break Season again. The Beagle Boys can sing; the Pirates can not which makes sense all things considered. We go to the far shot with more singing about a girl marrying my dear old dad. And so there is a fire going out as we cut to morning (already?!) at the ocean liner as Gyro explains that the Time Tub is finally secure to the steamer's controls. Gyro explains inside the wheel house that we pull some lever (WRONG LEVER!) and everything will return to Duckberg. Scrooge is happy as he tells Gyro to get in close to the shore and signal for the Beagle Boys. Huey asks why Scrooge doesn't just leave them there to rot and Scrooge proclaims that his word is as good as gold. After all; he needs some idiots to BE JEALOUS~!

The ocean liner puffs smoke as the ocean liner sails towards the shore. So we cut back to Blackheart and his pirates completely asleep as it's the Rock-A-Bye Baby promo from the Beagle Boys as they are getting tired. However; their savior finally comes as the ship whistle blows. The Beagle Boys are relieved since they have run out of songs. Sadly; the pirates are clearly light sleepers as they wake up on cue. D'OH! The Beagle Boys decide to go for the big finish (Why bother since this is the big finish?) and they go all Yadda-Dadda-Doo on them with hats waving and then bail stage right. Which is enough for the dumb pirates to cheer for me. These pirates clearly cannot tell an ocean liner horn from a real one. So they finally get the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and Blackheart wants to go after them much to the whining of pig pirate who just wants cake. So we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE BLACKHEART EDITION~ and the Beagle Boys somehow disappear on the cliff hills. We then see a shot of the Beagle Boys climbing Skull Mountain as Babyface loosens some rocks and falls into the river and waterfall below. Okay; this episode is now officially over booked and it's time to mercy kill it before the episode starts to really drag down.

Bankjob and Bugle jump in after him and they pop up below the waterfall and swim towards the ocean liner on the far shot as Blackheart is on top of the mountain and wants them because great singing groups don't come along every day. We cut to the nephews lowering the rope ladder down for the Beagle Boys as they swim and avoid some more gunfire as we are up to 0.4 Trigun now. Gyro doesn't like this as the pirates are on the Pirate Ship and sailing with more gunfire. The Beagle Boys get onto the ship and they are forced to bail as Blackheart goes for his cannons and they miss by a mile. DAMMIT BS&P! You let them throw cannon balls onto the ship. It's not like they can do much damage anyway with this cartoon logic. Scrooge orders Gyro to throw the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and Gyro does that; but the short circuit forces Scrooge and Gyro away as Scrooge shows off some impressive bumping skills. More cannon fire as Scrooge orders Gyro to do it again. Blackheart has his telescope on the situation as we see Gyro use the world tiniest screwdriver on the box and it shocks him as the Wii light allows the entire ship to disappear right on cue. Blackheart orders his men to fire and they sell as the cannon balls hit nothing but water, DUH!

So we then see the ocean liner return to Duckberg without any further incident or cheering. So we cut back to the Money Bin as we see the limo of Scrooge ride away from the driveway as Scrooge proclaims that his money is save and the Beagle Boys are in jail once again for trying to rob Scrooge for the 302nd time. Scrooge wonders if the adventure made the six o'clock news. He turns on his portable television in the back seat as we see the news reporter (dogsperson with a black suit and glasses with brown hair- Peter Cullen) proclaim that the McDuck millions are back where they belong. There is also a baseball score as the nephews are giddy for that one. I spell 2:1 odds that the Ganders win by scoring 17 runs in the ninth innings to take the win. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good. Proving that the New York Mets have NOTHING on these losers from Duckberg. The nephews absolutely get flustered on THAT one as I giggle like a school girl to end the episode at 21:13. That will teach them to mess with the Stop spell! Average episode with a really good singing number near the end. Oh; and if Dogface Pete wants to look good; he would be a pirate instead of an idiot. *** ½ (70%).


So we end disc 2 of this volume with another average episode of the Beagle Boys stealing Scrooge's money with another one of Gyro's silly inventions. It was pretty fun for the most part with some logic breaks and some good break dancing and singing from the nephews and the Beagle Boys. I was a little surprised that none of the original Beagle Boys were used; but the ones that did play did pretty well. Blackheart was all right along with his pirate crew and I did like the nephews trying to cheat on a baseball game and then it got all paid off when the Mallards still couldn't win. No apology needed as they got the punishment they deserved for stealing Gyro's plot device. Gyro and Scrooge were their usual smooth selves and TMS' animation was pretty much on. Overall; just your average Ducktales love in.

Thus ends disc 2 of Volume 2 of the Ducktales DVD set. So if my calculations are correct, we have 3 thumbs up, 4 thumbs in the middle and 1 thumbs down albeit barely. A pretty mixed result; but still pretty good for a series that has run almost 23 years now. So......

Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.


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