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The foreshadowing of Cartoon Duck Syndrome....
Here is one of those historic moments that probably got more pop than it deserved in hindsight; but still it shows the connection of Ducktales and Darkwing Duck a lot more obvious than the connection between Ducktales and TaleSpin. It also shows that TaleSpin doesn't have a monopoly when it comes to recycled plots or episode titles (Double'O'Chipmunk anymore? I wonder if Dale was taking notes from this episode too?). It's the first historic episode of the great struggle between two organizations I don't really care about: SUSH VS. FOWL. How does it do? Let's rant on and find out shall we...?!
This episode was written by Ken Koonce and David Weimers. Oh goody; that's #3 for this duo! The story is edited by Tedd Anasti and Patsy Cameron.
We begin this one at the airport like all good spy episodes do. So we pan over to a plane that he already landed and the stairs are down. There is a name on the wing of the plane in red letters; but I cannot tell what it is. We then cut to a near shot of the door as a duck in a trench coat, white scarf and brown hat wearing the SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT as he walks down and we get to see his face and he looks like the mean version of Launchpad. He walks into the airport quickly as two dogspersons sharing a newspaper wearing slightly darker brown gear and blue pants. #1 sign that they are the bad guys: They are sharing a NEWSPAPER together. One of them has a mustache by the way (the right one) and the duck in question is Bruno according to the heel spy #1. They go after Bruno (and even rolled the newspaper up properly; how nice) as we walk behind him and Bruno sees them in the corner of his eye so he goes through the conveniently placed luggage chute much to the surprise of the passengers (all dogspeople by the way). The two heel spies are SHOCKED but not APPALLED by this (yet) and they follow. We then see Bruno go down the steel chute and his voice sounds like Launchpad (Terry McGovern).
The heels follow in the other train car chute yelling and losing their hat in the process. Both chute come out and head towards the landing strip (wasn't Bruno going into the airport or something?) and Bruno climbs out. He pushes the car backwards (while getting his luggage apparently) and that allows the heels to crash land into it with an off-screen good bump. The spies are covered in luggage stuff as Spy #1 gets someone's crown. Ah; I see Miss Duckberg's luggage has arrived. Man; is she going to be pissed when she finds this out. Bruno does the worst laugh this side of a heel and then bails as the spies go after them. Maybe he shouldn't have laughed and just bail. Bruno runs towards the white airplane and it flies away from him; so we get some Hanna Barbera running sound and looping effects as Bruno manages to get onto the wing of the plane with his baggage. Man; WD-France did a better job with Kit's grabbing onto the plane than these animators did. He gets on struggling on the left fin (Democrat!) as the spies stop to pant like dogs (oh the irony!). Spy #1 points to the yellow/blue line plane and head towards it as a dogsperson wearing a blue baseball cap protests this outrage (Terry McGovern). They show him their peace officer badges to him as if that makes them babyfaces all of a sudden.
So we cut to Bruno Von Beak (according to Chris Barat) as he crawls onto the back of the plane and makes it to the left wing (Moonbat!) near a glass window. He then sees the spy plane coming towards him on the back shot and then jumps and free falls off of the white plane and lands right onto the flag pole on top of a tower. Of course; in real life, he would be dead, but whatever. Nice spring action from the animators by the way. He then slides down the staircase on the railing as some citizens look on in disbelief. I'm in disbelief over the good music that they are playing here. Sadly; it's DUMBASS SPY ON FIRE~! And of course the yellow plane spots him and does a hyperbole. So he opens a man hole cover on the street floor and dives into the sewers in one motion. The two spies of doom drop down with their yellow parachutes (thus making Bruno look like a reckless stunt devil.) and they go into DA...HOLE (God bless Baby Plucky) at the same time. Logic break #1 for the episode beckons as they went head first into the hole; but came out feet first when they start riding on top of the subway train.
So we get the crawl on the subway train to waste some more time. Bruno jumps through another door below into the subway car and then opens the door to his right and jumps out doing some of the stiffest flips I have ever seen this side of Kuzo and then does the Ron Tussien spot into the steel pipe pole with a wussy bump. Bruno flips up and gets his luggage as he goes to the door of the subway; but it opens and everyone gets out in a FCC FRIENDLY RUSH OF DEATH. That is some cheap animating there guys. I'm guessing Wang Films is doing this episode. Bruno wonders why this went so wrong as we get the scene changer as we head to an apple fruit stand near a building as we see a dogsperson wearing the SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT with a brown hat and a green trench coat reading the newspaper. #1 sign of a stereotypical spy: He always reads the newspaper in places you don't normally see people read newspapers. We then see Launchpad arrive with a package (in his regular digs) as the spy whispers to LP. He (Jack Angel) has a delivery for him.
So those who were chasing Bruno were the DIA Spies I see. The short one is Terry McGovern where the taller one is voiced by Barry Dennen. Barry started his career with the live action goofy television series of Batman as Fred in 1968. He did some cameos for live action television; but did some really interesting movies including The Secret Cinema, The Juggler of Notre Dame, Jesus Christ Superstar (as Pontius Pilate), Fiddler on The Roof as Mendel, Madhouse and The Kentucky Fried Mouse. He also starred in the Superman III movie and The Dark Crystal among others. His only notable roles in live action television were Beau Geste and Oppenheimer before getting into voices in 1985. He did mostly live action television cameos and cartoon cameos from 1985 onwards with Pirates of Dark Water being the major one. Ducktales is his only DTVA credit by the way. He also did video games as well; and was Fatman in Metal Gear Solid 2 (both Sons of Liberty and Substance), The Dark One in The Mark of Kri, Singing Groom in the Manhood movie, and Mr. Canewood in Tokobot Plus. His last credit to date is Turning Point: Fall of Liberty video game. Launchpad apologizes for the confusion between him and someone else; namely Mr. McD see. The contact is angry and calls him insane. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.
See; LP needs to take the brown luggage to Geneva as he gives it to Launchpad. LP agrees to it; but asks who is Geneva. HAHA! LP seriously needs to brush up on his geography skills. He wonders if it's a new girl in town and the spy blows him off addressing him as Bruno. Man; these spies are as stupid as the agents working in Quack Pack. Sadly; the DIA spies show up OUT OF NOWHERE and grab Launchpad as we are going to see J. Gander Hoover; the spiritual precursor to J. Gander Hooter in DARKWING ...DUCK! Oh goody; SHUSH is back to bore me out of my skull again. They walk Launchpad stage left as LP tells them that he has two deliveries to do already. They'll have to wait their turn see. Sadly; there is no dice on that one. And I see logic break #2 for the episode as the contact is gone magically even though the spies could easily see him and GRAB HIM for the same crime. Time constraints can be such a bitch sometimes.
So we logically go into the Headquarters of SHUSH (a dark office) as the green lamp is shined onto Launchpad who is sitting on a chair as a fat duck in a black suit and pants demands that he tells him everything he knows and addresses him as Bruno (and the voice is clearly Peter Cullen's so I guess this is J. Gander Hoover). Oh; and this is his last chance; so you know that he is SERIOUS BABEE! Launchpad tells him that he is not Bruno as the door opens and in comes Scrooge who looks really pissed off at him. Launchpad asks him to tell them that he is not Bruno and that he doesn't know anything. Scrooge agrees with him because it is like a Teflon pans and that nothing sticks. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. J. Gander Hoover has old eyeglasses on as we see the DIA agent arrive with Bruno in handcuffs as they caught him in the subway. Well; the short one anyway since the tall one was IN THE DAMN OFFICE at the time. I guess he went to assist him after a struggle with Bruno as he came in I guess. Otherwise; that looks pretty contrived to me. They realize that Launchpad has an uncanny look like Bruno does and Hoover sees this as MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH.
He calls him Launchpail which Launchpad blows off and Hoover sezs whatever. I see the running joke for Time Is Money has already started as Hoover needs a spy who can impersonate Bruno Von Beak. A double agent who can locate FOWL. Oh goody; this is the first time that SHUSH and FOWL battle it out together. And somehow this has the best chance of being the best one of them all. LP blows it off because he doesn't know the first place to look for chickens. The short DIA agent proclaims that FOWL means Foreign Organization for World Larceny. Of course Foreign was considered too offensive for BS&P for they agreed for the group to come back as the Fiendish Organization For World Larceny. Which makes perfect sense when you think about it. Hoover proclaims that LP is the only one who can stop the leader known as Doctor Nogood. If only he was the true leader of FOWL Hoover. Otherwise; how does he explain FOWL in DARKWING...DUCK now?! Scrooge tells him not to do it because it sounds too risky. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is Launchpad were are talking about. I think it's too risky for SHUSH; but Hoover proclaims that Doctor NoGood wants to destroy the world's money supply and Scrooge recoils since nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING when it comes to that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH; and wants LP to sign up. Scrooge takes out his black pen and Launchpad grabs it as he signs on the dotted line on the paper Hoover gives.
So we go to the scene changer into a hallway towards the science lab of the organization of SHUSH. We know this because there is the words DR. G. in black letters; a light bulb and a sliding ruler on the front of the door. Hoover and LP go inside as Hoover explains that he needs to get LP familiar with the technology they use. We get a shot of the science lab and pan over west to see Gyro Gearloose sitting down at a table wearing on some high tech shoes. BWHHAHAHAHAHA! I wondered how Scrooge knew about this place. And I see what Gyro has been doing on his off days from being in episodes too. LP blows off Hoover's insulting name (Launchpail of course) to him as he notices Gyro. See; Gyro does this because he cannot pay the rent inventing things for Scrooge. Geez; I wonder why....cheapskate....Gyro is called Doctor G according to the DIA as he shows him the black toupee for him to wear on his mission. LP wears this proclaiming that he's supposed to look like Bruno. Gyro then explains that it's a toupee pistol, a wig .45 see. Gyro wears the toupee and pulls the hair to fire a pistol at it. Okay; this is as awesome as Dale's bow tie camera; only it will never get past BS&P ever again. I can dig firing bullets from my hairpiece. Why didn't Vinnie Mac invest in one for his announcing duties for Wrestling For Dollars?! Launchpad calls it hairy as they go to the table and LP takes the blue comb and asks if it's a special comb for the hairpiece. Gyro calls it a telephone comb. Man; LP better not have dandruff in that hair; or there will have some clogging up in those pipes. AHHAHAHAHAHA!
Gyro then brings out the world's tiniest box which contains exploding cufflinks. They are also the remove pin, Count 5, throw type too. He clicks the shoes together and they spring like an elevator thus they are elevator shoes see. Launchpad is in awe of this as Gyro introduces the bowtie camera before our very eyes. Sadly; the joke doesn't apply because it's a television camera and not a flash photography camera. Oh wait; Gyro takes the black bow tie and pulls on it. HAHA! Launchpad's eyes get all dizzy after the flash. I see Dale WAS taking notes on this episode as we speak. Gyro puts it down and show him a cool red car which looks like a snow mobile as Launchpad is impressed with those set of wheels. 2:1 odds Launchpad crashes it before this episode is over. Gyro brings out the cheesy remote control as he explains that it can be a helicopter or a boat. He calls it the Thunderclutch Whirly Thingy. I call it the Thunder Quack Version Zero myself. LP is liking this as Hoover decides on his final name which is Double-0 Duck. Huh?! Oh come on Hoover! That is just asking to blow someone's cover. I think Launchpail was the best name to use here and you blew it?! No wonder Hooter replaced you in DARKWING...DUCK! He likes the sound of that by the way as he proves that he is not the sharpest knife in the drawer either.
So we head outside the D.I.A. Headquarters (Note to self: Never show thy name in front where everyone can see it) as Launchpail (who is apporos in this case) goes to his brand new Turbo Teen-equse car. He hops in as Hoover throws in the suitcase and tells him to disguise himself as Bruno, go to Switzerland, find FOWL's hideout; find Doctor NoGood; call on the comb and DIA agents will be sent in to arrest him. Chances of Launchpail remembering all that: Zero. Chances of LP remembering one of those things: 5:1. Hoover shakes hands as the Gobot Car turns into a helicopter (check the prop at the back) and then flies away. Man; that's the first freeze up my DVD has suffered. Must be the slight pause on the dual layer disc I guess. And of course we get a wussy off-screen crash by Launchpail; just to be LP. Launchpail returns (torn to pieces DUH!) and salutes Hoover; asking him for another Thunderclutch. So we REPEAT THE SCENE again and LP gets it right this time as we then go to the bland map as LP does his blue path of flying past various landmarks as he goes to France and finally crash lands in Switzerland, DUH! All off-screen and wussy of course.
So that logically leads us to Geneva, Switzerland as the buildings look like something out of the old 1600's era of Eastern Europe. So we cut to a street corner near an old lamp pole as Launchpail dressed up as Bruno looks around. He yawns and checks his watch as the Geneva contact (a mole with a snarl; glasses; a tall black hat and a brown trench coat, voiced by Peter Cullen of course) arrives right on time. His next contact is New Deli and the password is pastrami on rye and hold the mustard. LP gets it as he slaps the back of the slurring contact in hopes of making him PC I guess. LP bails and we go back to the bland map again as somehow LP has managed to get his Thunderclutch working again. He flies around with more blue mark and makes it to India and crashes with a better bump off-screen. So we logically head to...
A red mark with a helicopter noise as he returns to Geneva and crashes off-screen again as we return to the street corner as LP is in Middle Eastern gear carrying a basket with a green cobra snake. Oh boy; if some hilarious thing doesn't happen here; then I'm going to be so disappointed in this episode. The contact returns and he's upset that no progress has been able as LP proclaims that they chased him in New Deli because they want the pastrami on rye. HAHA! The contact grabs him by the coat and blows him off as it's not New Deli, India! It's the new deli called Nate'N'Yodel's New Swiss Delicatessen. HAHA! Next time: more details, less holding of the mustard! AHHAHAHAHA! LP gets it; but the contact stops him because the new contact isn't there. Then he tells him to go to New Deli and look for Feathers. LP blows him off because he's looking for chickens again. HAHA! See; make the joke and then pay it off. So we go to the bland map again as LP remembers to stop at Iraq for a filler-up. Oh man; that is some rib that should be cut on Toon Disney; but likely will not be. So we continue on and get another crash landing off-screen. Man; that Turbo Teen car is taking a wussy beating if you catch my drift.
So we cut to New Deli as LP with suitcase walks in and there are snake charmers and other stereotypical folks from India wearing turbans. Nice to see all the racial stereotypes in India present and accounted for. LP calls for Feathers and gets none from the citizens as a chicken gets offended by the accusation. HAHA! So we cut to the Feathers Club as a brown bulldog guard wearing a white suit, red turban and black shoes is guarding the place. LP calls for Feathers and he points to inside as he goes into the steamy place. Funny since a pictures of Feathers is ON THE DAMN POSTER outside on a wall where LP could clearly see. HAHA! So we go inside as we see various international stereotypes watching on in their seats at the table as LP walks in and we pan over to the stage. The announcer (a brown dogsperson wearing mostly white with red socks and brown shoes- Chris Barat doesn't have him listed; so I'll stab at Jack Angel or Chuck McCann here) introduces Feathers Galore and then in comes Feathers who is a duck wearing red hair, a purple vest, a pink bustier and orange pants with sandals. She seems to have the same human feet syndrome Gyro has; only they are white. Explain THAT one kids! She's also wearing golden rings around her neck and arms (one on the ankle too) by the way. Launchpail goes all wonza and sexist on us as he calls her a chick. I thought that word was forbidden on DTVA until 2000?! She goes over to Launchpail and LP asks for a pastrami on rye and to hold the mustard. Feathers (Tress MacNeille in Lady Bane's voice) goes over and whispers 407 as LP is confused. Feathers calls it her room number and to meet her upstairs in five minutes.
So we get the heart scene changer as we go upstairs in the motel which apparently hasn't had an inspection in 10 years if the boarded up room is any indication. LP is there with the suitcase and is now wearing a black tuxedo with a red rose. Ah; I see the James Bond has finally got into LP's head. He sneaks over quickly as we make it to Room 407. We know this by the golden numbers on the door. LP knocks on the door and it opens like a machine door up (Now I know this motel is whack!) and we see inside to a pink painted room with Feathers Galore lying down in the most sexiest position she could be allowed by BS&P on the pink coach. I see she traded her belly dancing outfit for a more classy purple dress and a blue scarf with purple gloves and high heels. She starts charming him to come in as LP is getting hot under the collar which is standard among sexy girls in DTVA. We go to the left side shot as Feathers has the blue control panel (which matches her blue scarf; how cute!) as she pushes a button on it and the door closes and gets iron barred. Okay; I can accept this as long as there is no sex involved. LP likes the place as Feathers doesn't suspect a thing and throws him down onto the couch. LP wants to talk about business as Feathers isn't amused at Bruno's party poopiness.
Feathers wants to do some kissy-kissy stuff and of course Wang Films blows the kissing spot badly. She didn't even touch LP despite LP not moving an inch. He gives the suitcase to Feathers as Feather tells him that she'll give it to NoGood at the New Deli. This should give away the place right in advance if you haven't been paying attention already. Feathers plucks the bow tie and that is a mistake as she gets FLASHED. HAHA! Never trust a guy who can take pictures with his bow tie. Right Dale? AHHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummmm... LP proclaims that it was a going away present from his mother as Feathers claims that Bruno's mother passed away. LP responds to that it is a going-away-for-good present. And reason wept again. Man; it's going to be a great flood at this rate. Feather sees the funny picture and then throws it away because she wants some more kissy-kissy stuff. The kisses are much better animated this time around as LP tells her to be careful as she rubs the hairpiece and of course the Wig .45 goes off with a pistol shot. I smell another Toon Disney cut coming here. LP warns him that he has killer dandruff (death reference #1 for the episode). HAHA! Yeap; that hairpiece does contain some killer dandruff. They are as big and thick as .45 bullets I see. And she brings on the kissy-kissy stuff for the third time and that's the best animation of kisses I have ever seen thus far.
Then the telephone comb rings and Feathers wonders what it is as LP stutters and walks into the closet (oh boy; that's the kind of irony I don't want to see in this cartoon) to comb his hair or speak into his comb. It's the same thing anyway as we cut into the closet (which is about half as big as the bedroom natch) and takes out his comb to answer it. It's Hoover I suspect as we cut to J. Gander's office as Hoover is speaking on the phone. Why does he use a pink feather as a pen on his desk? Isn't that just asking for a pounding from the manly folks in SHUSH?! Anyhow he's calling for progress on his spy. LP calls this terrible since Hoover never told him about Feather Galore dating Bruno. HAHA! Hoover blows him off as mere details and tells him to hurry up on finding Doctor NoGood and time is of the essence. LP comes out of the closet (HA!) and we see Feathers Galore up on her feet and she bails to powder her beak so to speak. She heads into the bathroom. The logic here is wonky since the bathroom is at the back wall where the couch is in the middle and there was no room on the first shot in the room. And LP entered as if he was coming from the hallway instead of the closet. This is as bad as Golden Suns Episode 4 by the way.
So we see Feathers in the bathroom taking out her blue purse and going for his pink brush which is a transmitter of doom I betcha. I check the DVD....And damn I'm good as she calls for Doctor Nogood for real. We then cut to Doctor No Good's office as he is on the phone at his desk as Doctor Nogood is petting his black cat who is sitting on his lap. We pan up and see that Nogood is either a dogsperson or a pig. I'm guessing fat dogsperson since he isn't pink in color as Feathers informs him that Bruno is behaving really odd and could be a double agent or an imposter. And his kissing sucks by the way as Nogood tells her she knows what to do and to give him one more kiss which is the KISS OF DEATH. HEE HEE HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh and before you ask if that is a pun; Feathers really does call it the kiss of death. Mere mortals cannot do such things to get characters over. She puts the phone back into the purse and brings out the poison lipstick and puts it on her lips. She walks out of the bathroom and returns to the bedroom as LP is sitting down looking like a dumb statue. Feathers lies down beside him on her belly getting as sexy as the Disney BS&P would allow and wants some more kissy-kissy stuff; but LP walks backwards away from her. Nice to see LP hate such tactics even though he is as dumb as a box of hammers.
LP wants to leave; but Feathers jumps over and blocks the way out which is pointless since the door is barred. Ah; I see the iron bar has changed into a chain lock with a keyhole now. Logic break #2 for the episode as LP is going nowhere. Well; I guess Feathers wants to be sure that he doesn't escape I guess. The blue scarf comes off (OHH MAMA!) and she does a front flip and it's the double kick of death to the kisser. Good shot too; but Wang Films slightly screws up the spot as we get a sick bump by LP into the table with the picture and vase of roses which somehow none of it breaks. Except for the picture and the table leg of course. LP sees chicken stars as he is dizzy. HAHA! Feathers gets mean as she approches LP; but LP throws the frame away and bails stage right. He then runs into the next room (I guess) and tries to shut the door; but the POWER OF THE PUNCH breaks the door in the middle. Now THAT's one tough lady there. LP runs inside the powder room (I think) as he proclaims that the kissy-kissy stuff means so much to her. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. She keeps missing (although not by much) as LP dodges her and she takes an ultra sick bump into the brick fireplace barrier. HAHA! Feathers comes out and completely no sells the shot. Man; that lipstick gave her ROID RAGE. I guess Larson and Gary have gotten into the beauty business which is a sad commentary on our DTVA social fabric all in a nutshell. LP dodges her again and she rams herself into the wall breaking it with another sick bump...
Joey Styles: We just fixed that wall!
LP grabs Feathers by her legs and pulls her out as LP goes through DA...HOLE and then drops down in front of the club (so it doubles as a motel I see) and jumps into the OUT OF NOWHERE Turbo Teen car. I'm tempted to call logic break #3 for the episode here; but it's a remote control car; so that lops it off good. LP drives away as the guard does nothing but stare as Feather Galore comes out and hops into her vanilla hot rod limo. Oh goody; a car chase scene in India. That is SO new to me. NOT! That leads to the SCOOBY DOO CAR CHASE SEQUENCE THE INDIA EDITION~! Launchpad then goes to the CHEESY REMOTE OF DOOM to find the helicopter switch while swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (darn). Sadly; he pushes the wrong buttons and the whole thing turns into a boat and it stops on a dime in the middle of the road as Feathers goes way too fast to be healthy and manages to dodge the car; but misses Launchpail anyway. Now THAT is what I call being LUCKY! LP pushes more buttons as it turns into a car and goes in reverse as it speeds away stage right. Feathers follows him as we go up the mountain hill to fetch a pail of Spyro Nuts. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Hey; the joke makes perfect sense here and I'll use it when I see fit.
And then down the hill the same way as we cut to the front shot of the road as they are neck and neck giving as much eye contact violence as humanly possible. Feathers does the side bump good on the car and LP blows her off as giving women drivers a bad name. And LP is giving males a bad name too in insulting her like that. BOO HISS! Sadly; Feathers drives away missing LP completely; but LP is driving towards the left as he blows her off and drives off the cliff of doom and free falls towards the river below. LP goes for the cheesy remote control and pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) as I wonder how he knows NOW which switch to use. Sadly; it breaks off and LP is screwed stiff, what a surprise. He yells for help inside his comb phone and the DIA Operator (Tress MacNeille again) absolutely crack me up by telling him that all lines are busy. HAHA! LP yells as the car continues to free fall. Man; that thing is taking forever to fall down as we end the segment nearly 12 and a half minutes in.
Note #1: Doctor No Good is voiced by Rene Auberjonois who started in 1964 in the movie Lilith, Brewster McCloud and the MASH movie in 1970. He appeared in mostly bit roles on Saturday Night Live, The Jeffersons and other live action productions until he started voice acting in 1980 with The Fonz and Happy Days Gang. He was in Superfriends 6 as DeSaad, The Skull in Last Unicorn, Benson as Clayton, and Professor Genius in Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland. Ducktales is his DTVA debut and has also been in Darkwing Duck as a cameo in The Secret Origins of DARKWING...DUCK; The Little Mermaid as Chef Louie (in television series and sequels), Aladdin as Nefir (television series), Marsupilami as Chef Louie, Renard in Tarzan (television series) and House of Mouse. He also directed Star Trek Deep Space Nine (and was a big star on it as Odo) and Marblehead Manor. His most recent credits are the Uncharted 2 video game, Boston Legal, Random! Cartoons, Saving Grace and Avatar: The Last Airbender. He also did Odo for the Family Guy: Stewie Griffin Story special. Rene was also in Mel Gibson's movie The Patriot.
After the commercial break; we continue on with LP free falling and trying to make the car stop pooping on him. He then grabs the red parachute and kicks the car which conveniently turned into a helicopter as he jumps out. HAHA! LP thanks the lucky stars that he has his parachute on his back and wait for more hilarious stuff with baited breath. And he pulls the string and it is really a raft. HAHA! LP free falls faster with the raft on (How does that work?) and he splashes into the river with a resounding splash. LP is on bottom of course. And of course he's only in about knee deep water as he throws away the red raft and runs to the shore which the Thunderclutch lands right beside it. Well; that just render everything pointless doesn't it? Not to mention that LP didn't get killed by knee deep water. That's isn't exactly a good cushion to land on isn't it? LP gets in and breathes a sigh of relief as we go back to the bland map as LP proclaims that there must be a connection to Doctor Nogood and Nate 'n Yodel's Deli. NO?! REALLY?! As if the fact that the spy was telling him the contact in there was gone didn't proclaim the obvious? He overshoot and goes to France before finally crash landing in Switzerland of course just to get the silly thing out of the way. So we logically go to...
...an alleyway in Switzerland as LP hides behind it and practices the fine art of not being seen. In broad daylight? That is really whack! We then see Feathers Galore on the wide shot as we run into Nate 'n Yodel's New Deli. We know this because there is a hotdog picture sign hanging in front of the building. Otherwise; it's just a goofy house with blue window trim. LP follows her inside and we cut to inside the deli (which looks like something from New York City in the 1980's) as a pig furry wearing butcher gear and a black bow tie is reading the newspaper. Obvious sign of a heel: He's wearing a black bow tie in a butcher gear reading the newspaper. LP asks for where Feathers is and the pig asks him about it (Jack Angel). LP states that he is looking for Feathers of course. He of course has never seen her before which just cements him as the heel right there. So in comes a dogsperson in brown Swiss gear having red hair carrying a wheel barrow filled with Swiss Cheese which I see is Monty's order. POW! OUCH! Ummm.. He addresses the deli guy as Fritz (the cheese guy is voiced by Barry Dennen) and then LP gets a brainstorm as he disguises himself as a baker with a phoney black mustache and comes in with a wooden board of French Bread.
Fritz blows it off because he didn't order any fresh bread see. He didn't order anything else other than pickles as LP foolishly plucks his mustache which allows the Wig .45 to go off again. Geez; that was close to someone getting there LP. So we logically go to the scene changer of doom as LP re-entered disguised as a stereotypical German carrying a barrel of pickles that Peter Piper picked....apparently. He tries to get into the storage room which Fritz points out and then in comes a dogsperson wearing a green suit and hat with his barrel of pickles as he blows him off for being an imposter (Barry Dennen again) as LP is in a pickle. So we cut to outside the deli as LP get thrown out of course with a wussy bump onto the ground. Sigh. So LP sees his way in as there are about three or four pickle barrels left. So we logically go back inside as the pickle dogsperson continues his work as he places the barrels into cold storage and then walks out. And it is freezing in there judging by the amount of ice inside as we see LP pop from the barrels making as many pickle squish sounds as humanly possible. LP sniffs himself and tries to go for the door; but it's locked. He sells the cold by shivering as he goes to the fake thermostat and twists the knob which of course opens up a secret door into a secret passage. LP calls this fishy and it's not just the red herrings he has been given in this episode.
LP walks down the steps as the door slides closed behind him. LP walks down a bit and then sees an underground complex filled with computer panels and a hole in the center. Doctor No Good is up to no good. Somehow that is a double negative which means Doctor No Good is up to good. No wonder Mr. Hardcore is so screwed up. They have Cartoon Duck Syndrome to boot. I knew DARKWING..DUCK was such a bad influence to video games. I just needed the episode to prove it. LP practices the fine art of not being seen and then hides behind a wall as two green masked guard wearing all green (including gas masks) smell something like pickles. LP then sees his method of escape which is a floor level cage door and he opens and crawls into DA....HOLE to escape. So that logically leads us to inside Doctor No Good's office I betcha as LP flings the exit cage door opens with his face (HA!) and exit through DA...HOLE (I see a trend happening here). We pan right to see that there is a table with a globe sticking in the middle and a large computer map in the back. And man; for a ducky version of the real world; it's drawn awfully badly. LP sneaks up to one of the table and notices Doctor No Good's name on a cheesy triangle wood block in red letters.
This is enough for LP to get his telephone comb and call the DIA as the operator states the agency. LP tries to tell them to send their troops; but cannot give the address as he ducks for cover as a laser sound beckons. So the double doors slide open and in comes Doctor No Good (who happens to be a dogsperson) and a duck assistant who looks like a Frankenstein duck in a tuxedo with the world smallest hat. No Good proclaims that very soon the world's money supply will be ruined as he continues to rub his cat. I wonder if this is the same guy in human form in Quack Pack. He explains that his troops will break into underground Swiss banks (Get it?) and spray vanishing ink on the money inside the vaults making the money worthless blank paper. He uses the yellow spray on a bill to force the point of course. LP listens on from behind as talks about being the richest man in the world as LP tries to practice the fine art of not being seen; but the pickle smell gives him away I bet as Doctor No Good has a craving for pickles I see. The cat screams and drops off his perch as the bell sounds and LP is screwed as the heels turn around. Damn; I'm good. LP goes for his comb phone as Hoover blows him off for hanging up; but it's too late as No Good and his henchman duck servant grab him.
So we logically go to a floor shot with No Good, his servant and his cat looking at LP as No Good wondered when he would show up. I bet LP is in one of those goofy death traps you see in James Bond. I check the DVD...Not quite as No Good demands on who he's spying for calling him a good likeness to Bruno. LP blows him off because he'll never snitch on the DIA. D'OH! No Good addresses his cat as Flower by the way (Frank Welker of course) as anyone from the DIA should meet his other pets. He addresses the servant as OddDuck (which is apporos in this case since he looks rather odd to me) as Odd Duck grabs LP and they walk out as LP tells him not to push because he likes pets. Just not snakes as he has sworn off snakes since Golden Suns episode #5 though. They push him into the steel arena of death as the door closes and now LP is face to face with the lion that will be recycled in TaleSpin's The Bigger They Are The Louder They Oink. And there are two lions and Feathers Galore inside just to make LP's day even worse than it already is. Feathers blows him off because she's in this death trap because of him. LP asks what he did to force her into this and of course she gleefully answers that one for me. LP wants to let bygones by bygones on this issue as he suggests some backflip kicks on the lions as she tries it; but she screams off-screen and jumps into LP's arms like Scooby onto Shaggy. I betcha we NEVER see that spot ever again in the new Disney. You cannot have the females look scared now can we? Even if it is an animal she's scared of. Even if it would balance her character out a place. Pushover equals sexist right gals? Right Nightflight?! The lions slowly stalk on the closeup shot and that ends the segment sixteen and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we continue to repeat the close up shot as Feathers is now a crowd and she's too pretty to die (death reference #3 for the episode). LP then realizes that he has elevator shoes and clicks the heels to harshly as the spring shoes work; but they short circuit and LP lands on his face in the dirt with a resounding thud. HAHA! Good bumping there too. Feathers helps him up and asks for any more tricks and then blows off LP's shoes as the lions continue to slowly stalk our hero and female heel. LP grabs Feathers and tries again and this time it works as he raises to the sky as Feathers is HAPPY because Bruno would never save her as Launchpad proclaims that he is no heel. HAHA! I love shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot comments. And yes; the joke works in this case. Now he cannot get down (D'OH to Gyro!) as they are at the floor level of the underground complex as Odd Duck notices them and Feathers panics again. She somehow manages to get onto the floor even though she couldn't be anywhere near the middle floor. Logic break #3 for the episode for real as LP struggles to walk on his elevator shoes. Odd Duck runs in and then Feathers invokes the KARATE MOVES OF DOOM and cuts the steel out of the elevator shoes allowing LP to walk onto the middle floor. Well; that leaves Feathers out of the Teach Drake Mallard sweepstakes.
And so that leads us to the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE ODD DUCK EDITION~! At least this chase works here instead of just wasting time as LP goes to his comb phone again (Man; does No Good know the meaning of the phrase strip search?) and calls for the DIA again. And of course the operator cracks me up by telling LP to deposit 25 cents for the first three minutes as LP protests this outrage and the operator blows him off because a comb is not a phone in the phone company's eyes. HAHA! LP threatens to MURDER her if he lives through this (neat promo cut there LP!) and crushes the comb phone. Then he stops and realizes that he's not helpless as he turns around and takes his toupee off and then gets off the funniest Clint Eastwood promo I have ever heard to date. HAHA! Like I'm taking a toupee seriously as a weapon. Odd Duck walks a step and LP fires the Wig .45 and Odd Duck catches it with his teeth which would NEVER work in real life as proven by Mythbusters. He spits it away as LP calls this biting the bullet. HAHA! This episode is so great that SHUSH should be ashamed of itself for being so damn wussy in comparison. LP shoots three more bullets and Odd Duck catches them without destroying his hand whatsoever. SUPERBEING! He crumbles the bullets to dust as LP casually puts on his toupee and checks Feathers red hair for a beehive bazooka; which of course there isn't. Odd Duck has had enough of course and the goofy spies bail stage south down the steps. They run down the hallway of computer machines and hide behind a computer wall as Odd Duck runs pass them not suspecting a thing. What is this now Star Wars: Return of the Goofy Jedi? AHHAHAHAHAHA! ZAP! OUCH! Ummm...
Feather goes for his pink brush phone as LP blows her off for attempting to do her hair. Feathers slams the pink brush into his ribs and tells him to call the DIA. LP wonder why since she is working for FOWL. Feathers panics because they are trying to kill her (death reference #4 for the episode) and with those eyes; can you blame her. She also wants to work with LP. Sadly; the operator still tells LP to deposit 25 cents just to annoy him some more. LP blows her off again and she responds claiming to talking to a cordless toaster phone. LP tells her to cut the lip and send DIA troops to Nate 'N Yodel's Deli and fast. So we logically go to the conference room as No Good is on the metal soapbox telling his green masked dogsperson troops with guns to go to the banks of Switzerland and destroy their money. Just Switzerland? Why not the Swiss Bank Accounts around the world? How is this going to make the world's money useless? The troops no sell and walk out in multiple groups out of the tunnels as No Good pets his cat good again. You wish you were Doctor Claw No Good. No Good cheers onto victory and then the roof smashes and crashes as ropes fall down and down come red hatted dogsperson troops wearing gray suits and brown boots with badly drawn machine guns. And the remaining FOWL troops who couldn't leave are forced to surrender as the DIA troops draw their badly designed machine guns as No Good blows them off. I agree; someone should design better machine guns than that.
No Good pushes a yellow button on the wall (huh?) and then the wall opens and No Good bail through the secret door down the steps. They run down towards ground level; but the cat hisses as LP and Feathers have caught them at the pass. This just goes to show you that using Hoppo's See Food diet is a bad thing for heels. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... LP threatens to use his toupee on him; so No Good cuts a names will never hurt him promo. Geez; you think by now this evildoers would realize the dangerous power of something innocent like a hairpiece. He uses the bull rush to knock Feathers down on her ass to escape as LP goes for the Wig .45; but it is out of ammo. You know you are screwed when THAT happens. LP asks for some sticks and stones from Feathers and she orders him to go after him. Sounds fair enough to me; lest the PC crowd gets hissy if you catch my drift.
So that leads to the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE NO GOOD EDITION~! That go into his lab of death as No Good makes it and than stops. Why? So he can take the big bump into the vat of acid in the background silly. That's how all goofy spy movies end. LP and Feathers surround him and LP invokes the exploding cufflinks (which looks like a brown mini hand grenade by the way) and throws it. Which overshoots it's target and explodes on impact into the BARRELS OF LAUGHS. I guess Gyro made them time and impact exploding as there is shards of wood everywhere which in real life would have torn LP to pieces. BS&P RULEZ! LP then takes the ultra big bump with an stray exploding barrel (Does that make ANY SENSE whatsoever?) and LP is knocked out cold and maybe dead if Disney allowed such a thing. Oh wait; I forgot about the Quackerjack incident, my mistake. Feathers bitch slaps LP in the beak trying to revive him and he's all right as long as she stops slapping him. And man; those slaps were wussy as hell as No Good goes to the metal ladder in the background and climbs up. LP follows him by clicking his elevator shoes and they go into rockets as he gets his head stuck in the wooden floor and LP has the FEET OF FLAMES. HAHA! Sadly his dancing sucks as much as his attempts at kissing. He takes the shoes off and walks onto the ladder as No Good runs towards the edge of the catwalk near the dreaded acid. I think you can guess what is going to happen to him now.
LP and Feathers have him surrounded again as he takes the conveniently placed vanishing vials (might as well label it on the wall while we are at it) and threatens to throw the vanishing fluid on them. HA! Why not? Then Square can steal the Clear status for Final Fantasy VI. LP counters with the exploding cufflink to threaten to blow him to smithereens. I say cufflink wins on that one and No Good blows him off as LP flicks the cufflink and it bounces off No Good's belly and down below the floor and explodes. HAHA! LP is seriously (insert swear word here) as he believes that his belt turns into a cannon as No Good proclaims that there will be better luck for him next lifetime. So he tries to throw the stuff and LP counters with the BOW TIE CAMERA OF HOT FLASHES. BWHAHAHAHAHA! As Dale proved; you don't screw someone who can take pictures with his bow tie. That spot never goes out of style as Feathers does the jump kick and of course No Good falls into the vat of vanishing fluid (or acid; same thing) and that is the first official on-screen death in DTVA right there as LP calls it his best snapshot. Of course I'm sure BS&P will be having a long talk with Ken Koonce and David Weimers after this episode airs. So we return outside of the Deli shop as the Turbo Teen car is outside along with Feathers, Hoover, Launchpad (in regular clothes) and Scrooge.
Hoover is getting on LP's case because he wants to make him a full time Double-O Duck see. Scrooge is not amused by this at all as LP states that he cannot because he thinks this job is too dangerous for him. BWHHAHAHAHAHA! That might be the first projection of it's kind that is so true that it's too funny. Scrooge is kind of thrilled that LP is working for him again as LP goes off to the car BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as Feathers grabs him and wants her to take her with him. LP refuses because he crashes alone as he tell her that her heart belongs to Bruno and cuts a Casablanca promo (you know which one) as Feathers is in tears as LP and Scrooge are in the Turbo Teen Car and he flies the helicopter away as Feather waves goodbye as she will probably be arrested for her involvement in FOWL by Hoover off-screen as we return to the MAP OF BLANDNESS as LP proclaims that he has lost something. Besides his mind? AHHAHAHAHAHA! Sadly; the Thunderclutch runs out of gas and crashes into the money bin with the best bump ever in the episode as we go to the circle fade to black with red dust and Scrooge blows him off as a double-O dope. HAHA! This ends the episode at 21:17. Did I mention that LP absolutely rocked in 1987? Too bad Wang Films screwed up an otherwise perfect episode. **** ½ (90%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Hey; I wonder why SHUSH VS FOWL always sucked; but this one didn't? Well; it's because this felt like a spy story as the organizations are supposed to be engaged in; rather than a super villain organization against a spy agency that depends on Drake Mallard to save their asses. Other than the usual Wang screw ups and logic breaks; this episode was perfectly written and pretty much the high watermark in terms of writing from the KK/DW duo. I also like Feathers and her chemistry with LP as well since she had some killer moves while at the same thing not being a total super feminist. Bruno must be a real lover if she can handle him so well with the kissing stuff LP couldn't handle. No Good and his henchmen were all right; although No Good is no Doctor Claw or anything. At least No Good got to die in this cartoon which was a big plus; but I betcha BS&P will never allow such an on screen death ever again unless he turns into a mutant or something like that. I still love the bow tie camera of course even though most of the gadgets were bland unless they were trying to screw LP over and then it was funny. Hoover was okay; but nothing special. This was all Feathers and LP carrying this episode kicking and screaming. Good ending as well with one more crash that turned out to be the best one which was MAN-SIZED and of course Scrooge's Money Bin is involved.
So what happened to these two organizations? Well; the DIA decided to change it's name to SHUSH in the time Darkwing Duck was released. J. Gander Hoover retired and was replaced by a much smaller J. Gander Hooter. He hired Sara Bellum and Grizzlioff (?sp) as well and had a relationship with Derek Blunt. As for FOWL; they kept the overall name scheme and only changed the F name to Fiendish. The Doctor No Good is changed to a leader by committee behind the shadows and they hired Stealbeak, Ammonia Pine, Ample Grime and they decided to change their entire troops into ducks dressed up as Kingpin's henchmen and made them ducks to complete the joke. In other words; SHUSH stayed a spy agency while FOWL turned into a super villain group which made it a mismatch and made me not like overall as SHUSH depended on Drake Mallard to save them. And Drake was hardly a superhero; as he was a bumbling hero in a goofy Zorro outfit. And what is Launchpad's reward for this (beside getting buried by Drake?)? Well; the next rant allows him to dress up like a Lucky Charms ripoff. Umm; yeah. I think we know who got the worst end of the deal. So next up in Luck'O The Ducks which should be a nightmare for me to rant on. So....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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