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Rage against the veggies and the Lurch butler wannabe...
Well; here comes the second of the story arc's “Scrooge fires someone and aliens get to cause chaos and mayhem” and this time as the episode name implies; Duckworth is in the center of it. This is also Duckworth's very first focus episode for rant purposes. Considering that Chris Barat has already warned me about the problems with mixing ducks with space (unless you count LP's head of course); I'm not exactly looking forward to this anymore. Then again; after Luck'O The Ducks last week; I'm ready for veggie aliens. So let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode was written by Dale Hale (VIOLATING ANIME DUB CONDUCT RULE #12 IS EXTREME!). The story is edited by Tedd Anasti and Patsy Cameron. Dale Hale actually got some semi fame as a writer for a number of DFE cartoon shorts in the 1970's and the 1960's show The Alvin Show (the prelude to the Alvin & The Chipmunks show from Ruby Spears by the way). He also wrote a Tiny Toons episode, Potato Head Kids and some Shelly Duvall Bedtime Stories episodes. He was also a storyboard artist on Lassie's Rescue Rangers and a story director for The Roman Holidays. This is his only DTVA appearance by the way.
We begin this one IN SPACE near a planet I don't know and don't care about. And then we get the CRAWL OF DOOM which looks really sloppy (Huh; a Star Wars crawl in a DTVA show? The only way that works is if there is some awesome Star Wars music to go with it and Disney doesn't have anything to do with Lucas at this point) and so a giant spaceship which looks like a giant ass sea shell rockets towards the planet as a voice proclaims that he has one in his sights and addresses Brigadier Broccoli. We then cut to inside as we see maybe the funniest sight of them all: Half Man/Half Vegetable wearing orange space suits. One of them is a Broccoli while the other look like a clove of garlic. Lt. Garlic is voiced by Michael Bell who started with ITV Television Playhouse in 1957 and then went on to do some late 1950 movies such as First Man Into Space, I Was Monty's Double (if that happened; maybe Montarey Jack would not suck), Subway Into the Sky, V.D., and War is Hell.
He did mostly cameos in television roles in the 1960's and 1970's with a few movies on the side like Blue, Point Blank and Thunder Alley in the 1960's and Airport, Brother John, The Proud Rider, See the Man Run and Summer of 63. He started voice acting in 1973 in a few ABC Specials, The New Scooby Doo Movies and Speed Buggy. He was The Riddler in Superfriends among one of his roles in various versions of the brand, Chief in C.B. Bears, Major Bludd in G.I. Joe, Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk (1982 edition), Lance in Voltron, and Prowl in Transformers G1. Again; like a lot of voice talents who really got into the business and got over; there are way too many to list. Ducktales is his DTVA debut and his major star calling was Quackerjack in Darkwing Duck, did several one shot villains in TaleSpin, cameos in Bonkers, Aziz in Aladdin The Series, Martin Hacker and Pal Joey in Gargoyles (and Chornicles, Quack Pack and even as recently as WITCH (Drake) in 2006. He did Drew Pickles in Rugrats, Naugus in Sonic The Hedgehog (the ABC Saturday dark version), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and All Grown Up. After 2004; most of his roles were as a voice in video games with Lost Odyssey, Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror, Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, Age of Empires 3, Doom 3, NARC (2005 edition), Xenosaga 2, Call of Duty, and his most recent credit Alpha Protocol among others. He also became a narrator in the movie Gamers.
Brigadier Broccoli is voiced by George DiCenzo who began his career producing, stand in and starring in Dark Shadows in 1969. He also produced Shoot it Black, Shoot it Blue. He also was an assistant producer in House of Dark Shadows and Dead of Night: A Darkness at Blaisedon. He also starred in Going Home, Across 110th street, and several other television moves in the 1970's. He also did some television cameos including the Swiss Family Robinson, Kung Fu, The FBI and Aspen. His voice acting started in the 1980's as Captain America for the 1980's editions of Spiderman, and he did some work on He-Man and She-ra mostly as Hordak. He also played Captain Louis Albano in Rock And Roll Wrestling (odd since Captain Lou was ALREADY doing Hollywood stuff at this point of his career), and continued to do live action movies and voice acting. Ducktales was his DTVA debut, and his only appearance. He did appear in a few cartoons like Batman and Animanics soon after this and even voiced characters in Grand Theft Auto Vice City and Mafia: The City of Lost Heaven. His most recent credits are A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, Hustle, Stateside and Judging Amy. Broccoli tells Garlic not to insult it by calling it weird; but to fire at it and Garlic sells it WITH RELISH (his words, not mine) as the beam fires at the planet into a bathroom in which an elephant lady (Check the pink bow on top of her head; who is completely naked; but no naughty bits showing anyway) in a bubble bath scrubbing herself with a brush. She gets pulled up (with bathtub I might add) into the spaceship (so it's a tractor beam?) as Broccoli calls her strong enough (and there are two Broccoli soldiers on board by the way; along with a Squash anthro in a space suit) as Garlic leers at her like a pervert.
Broccoli's voice sounds like a better version of Yugi. This just shows how CHEAP 4Kids is when they could have hired George DiCenzo and the product would have improved. Not much mind you; but still. Garlic calls her nice and fresh and the elephant lady (Joan Gerber) blows him off of course. Broccoli calls onto Sergeant Squash (who has a cow horned helmet and weird red boots) to put her to work to test her and Squash salutes him. Sergeant Squash is voiced by the late Steve Susskind (passed away in 2005) and started with Archie Bunker's Place and was Harold in the third Friday The 13th Movie. He also appeared in the movie Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, House, Round Trip To Heaven, Witch Hunt, Sandman, Ping! and Sing. Ducktales was his only DTVA appearance and in fact appeared in very few animated series in his career (Gobots, Batman The Animated Series, Godzilla the Series, and Monsters Inc.). He mostly was in cameos in television other than Barney in Married With Children, Get Real and NewsRadio. He also appeared in the video game Dead To Rights and Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. His last credits were Jake In Progress in Dog Gone Love.
Squash goes squish squash (his words not mine) on the elephant lady and drags her bathtub out of the cockpit and into the garden. Lots of Hanna Barbera sound effects ensue as Broccoli has his pointy white stick in hand as he has one more planet to extract captives from and that is Planet Earth as we see it on his map screen. So we logically go into space with a shot of planet earth and then zoom in and then cut to Scrooge's Mansion and the fountain is flowing as we cut to a shot of Scrooge's limo and to the back as Duckworth is cleaning it with a cloth and bucket. This guy has never heard of the word Armor All. There are sparkles about as we go to the front shot of Duckworth still cleaning as the nephews dressed up in a broccoli suit with badly drawn potato sacks (I'm not fooled fellows) stalk him (HA!). Duckworth is not fooled on that one, DUH! But he plays along as the starch is out of his socks as the nephews blow their cover anyway. See; they ask him about the Creepshow Marathon. Five scary movies in one including the dreaded Vampire Butler movie. They then separate from the disguise and try to suck up to him to take them along.
Duckworth refuses even though he wants to do it because he has work to do including mending holes in Scrooge's wallet. Scrooge HAS GOT TO invest in more sturdy wallets methinks. And there are moths in that wallet along with cobwebs in his credit cards. He USES credit cards? That's whack! I thought he would use some of his MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. He also has to clean bubble gum from Scrooge's cane and prepare dinner for five dollars of less (Word: MacDonalds!). He calls it bliss and apologizes as Huey throws down the mask in disgust. Huey then asks Duckworth to live a little as we cut to Scrooge in his second office sitting at his desk with a green chair counting coins like he is playing Jenga. Dewey then blows Scrooge off for making Duckworth is slave. Scrooge doesn't take that well as his Jenga stack goes down hard.
Scrooge sneaks outside to the white deck and watches as he overhears Dewey proclaim outside to Duckworth that he is so useful he can be as rich as Scrooge is. Duckworth is content because MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH is not important. Scrooge is SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order) to hear that one and then he magically appears from the left side of the garage proclaiming that he's gone off the deep end of his scrub bucket. Speak for yourself there Scrooge McLogic Break #1 for the episode. Duckworth is SHOCKED as I am as Scrooge pokes the cane on him blowing his off for saying that money is not important. Duckworth is confused as Scrooge gets all weepy eyed on it and then he fires Duckworth on the spot and tells him not to come back until he loves the big butts....he means bucks (Disney Captions screws it up and probably edited it to make it big buts; but the context is clear on what Scrooge said. So they cannot say butt on DTVA?). See; he cannot fire his nephews for acting like piss ants; but he can sure fire Duckworth. That is kind of like punishing Triple H for Shawn Michaels sins for coming up with the idea of hugging their clique buddies and breaking character in the MSG incident in 1996. And I betcha this ends pretty much the same way it does for Triple H. Duckworth walks out sulking as we go to the bus stop BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as Duckworth has his bags packed along with his vacuum cleaner as the nephews cry for him because they will miss him and he's no longer Scrooge's slave see. Even though they are responsible for Duckworth getting fired in the first place. Now he's a slave of a different kind: A slave of the hopelessness to having this episode really suck. HAHA!
Ron Sparks: It will suck more than Sean Desmond.
Duckworth blows them off because he loved serving Scrooge and then he takes Dewey's hat and dusts it off with a feather duster as he yearns to scrubbing floors and dumping garbage. And now he must go out in the world and make big butts...I mean big bucks. That's the price I have paid for watching Super Duper Sumos. They all sit down as Duckworth puts the hat back on Dewey and Huey wonders if they could get him something...And then the tractor beam fires and they get pulled up into space as the vacuum cleaner is left behind along with his luggage. We then get them going through the meteor shower as I explain that this logic doesn't make sense either. Unless the tractor beam protects them from the elements of space which would make their heads pop and die from lack of oxygen. That's why I'm not tempted to call this a logic break. Duckworth points to a spaceship that is pulling them towards it. He then takes out his pocket watch and blows them off for making him miss his bus.
They get pulled in through the door and then get zapped magically into the same spot the elephant lady was in (ah; I see they recycled the stance the nephews were sitting in for Quack Pack's Transmission Impossible) as Garlic blows him off as strange aliens. The nephews call Garlic out for psychological projection. Nice to see finally someone was paying attention. Dewey demands answers to this outrage and Garlic blows him off with words and his stinky garlic breath. I see why the bad breath spot has been jack-hammered to the ground: They watched this episode for pointers. Louie holds his beak as he calls this close encounters of the weird kind. Huh? That sounds awfully lame Louie (even more so considering he's the jokey one in this outfit); shouldn't it be close encounters of the stinky kind. Broccoli goes over to his computer and pushes some buttons and the screen reveals a pig in a servant uniform holding a tray of wine glasses. Broccoli calls this research. I call this, DUH! That's what a butler stereotype is supposed to be.
Garlic calls them perfect and orders Squash to show them the garden as the door opens and the nephews and Duckworth are forced inside as we see various slaves getting whipped as they work inside the garden! A watermelon alien is banging on the drum to the beat as the work continues by the alien slaves. Then we get some more whipping from the lashing vine whip alien and then some more shots of slave working as we see the elephant lady wearing a vanilla ballet outfit using her nose to water the plants. EWWWWWW! Then we see a chomping alien slave chomping at weeds as a four arm alien on another cut back blows him off as there is a much faster way to kill weeds (voiced by Alan Young) and that's with four ray guns. That's death reference #1 for the episode six and a half minutes in. He shoots the weeds with all four of them of course as we cut back to the front entrance as nephew declares that this puts their flower garden to shame. Geez; and today that would be called gay by the Anti-Disney Movement. See; this is why entertainment value is so important because no one has a leg to stand on when it comes to morals.
Squash gives them hoes (NOT THOSE ONES!) and orders them to get to work because they'll be doing it the rest of their lives. Squash roars and that causes the babyfaces to drop with wussy bumps onto the floor. The nephews protest this outrage and Squash does some squish squashing with his leaf fist to force the point. Like I'm going to take THAT seriously. The whip man whips Huey right in the ass on recoil. HOLY CRAP?! That was a good shot too. Although Kit taking a whip to the cheek bone was even more nasty; made more brave and bold by Kit no selling the shot in Mommy For A Day (evidence that Kit was abused at some point in his life. Stockholm Syndrome anyone?). Huey sells this one though and thus is a wuss compared to Kit; but still braver than QP Huey. He probably would have died and went to Nothing To Do Fork Flinging Heaven. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Louie calls Duckworth out on this; and Duckworth proclaims that they have no choice as Squash slaps his back and the nephews are forced to tend to the garden.
So we logically go into the cells as various aliens are sitting inside as Garlic opens the cell and the nephews and Duckworth go inside with Squash. Squash takes the leg irons of death and puts it on Duckworth as he gets hung on a meat hook (which is pretty disturbing for a TV-Y show). Squash then backs the nephews up with the irons as the nephews blow him off because they are LIBERAL RED BOOK LIARS~! POW! OUCH! Ummm....I mean Junior Woodchucks and they have rights. Why don't you ask Kit Cloudkicker about Citizen Khan? At least he TOOK IT like a man even though it TOOK OUT the wind of the entire episode. They run around the place shoving aliens aside for a while. They hide underneath the bed as Squash blows them off and he will squish them flatter than a cucumber pancake. It's funny how BS&P protects the nephews like this and yet Kit is only about 2 years older than the nephews and he gets the leg irons without as much as a peep. Even worse; Webby gets tied up in Luck O'The Ducks (will so do the nephews; but still) although Molly is so spunky that she probably would have avoided that situation anyway.
The nephews crawl underneath the Squash's legs and blow him off as a pumpkin head and he calls out their foul language. I guess pumpkin head equals S***head in veggie alien speak. More running as Duckworth orders them to stop resisting and not to make trouble. I love it when Duckworth is willing to make the nephews stop protecting themselves. It's getting absurd in my view. They get the shackles at last as Squash cuts a bedtime promo and then pets Duckworth on the head for being a coward. He would be the ultimate dog to put down in Gidget's Pet Shop. POW! OUCH! Ummm...Now remember Duckworth is on the meat hook and the nephews have leg irons on? Well...
We get the scene changer of doom and we see Duckworth sleeping on top of a bunk bed with no leg irons and the nephews on the bottom bunk sulking without leg irons on. How about that?! How did they find the key for those things? Logic breaks #2 and #3 for the episode and the first ones I don't accept. The nephews then finally blow off Duckworth as a chicken and proclaim that he loves being a slave for you so to speak as Duckworth wakes up and hears all. Duckworth's spirit just seems broken after hearing that and that blow off just made things worse for him overall. The nephews wonder how they are going to get out as the lights go out and there is nothing but the WHITE EYES OF PEEPING DOOM. The creatures tell them that it is hopeless and they should give up. (I'm guessing the voices are Joan Gerber and Alan Young here) Huey apologizes for even asking as we return to the garden as the watermelon alien continues to bang on the drums all day. The whipping continues from the Whip Leaf (just for fun) as the slaves all walk towards the garden from the hallway as Duckworth admires the piping that goes towards something as Duckworth points to the elephant lady's nose. The elephant lady states that the pipes all lead to the control room of the garden.
Sadly; it is locked from the inside. Duckworth calls them jolly smart; but not smart enough for Duckworth see. So we logically return to the cells as one Broccoli guard (remember there are two broccoli soldiers in the ranks in the ship) as there is a lit candle inside as Duckworth addresses the aliens (including the elephant lady) and suggests a rebellion. The lizard alien (voiced by George DiCenzo) blows it off and everyone laughs their asses off at his expense. The nephews wake up and notice as one alien (Michael Bell I assume) calls it the best joke of the year. Sorry; but the best joke of the year was Microsoft showing off Project Natal. Duckworth doesn't call this a joke as he proclaims that the aliens had no right to make them slaves as the lizard alien accuses him of being a slave on his own planet. Duckworth then invokes context as he was a servant who chose to work for Scrooge and had no regrets doing it. Now that's the Duckworth I remember; a servant to his own ambitions. You cannot buy that kind of character as he was at least honest enough to admit that he did it by choice. Similar to Mrs. Beakly coming in actually. The creatures aren't too keen about this since the aliens have weapons and they wouldn't stand a chance.
The aliens all walk away apologizing to him as Huey grabs onto Duckworth's neck proclaiming that they will rebel with him. The nephews apologize for calling him a chicken and Duckworth is glad they did because it allowed the aliens to think they had broken him see. Duckworth then shows the map which contains various ways to escape as the boys go Quackeroonie on it. So we logically go back to the garden as the workers continue to work and Duckworth goes to the front entrance and the door opens to show a Broccoli Science Guy in a white lab coat and Duckworth tells him of a leak being found by the Squash guy as he runs into the garden and Duckworth enters inside. Duckworth goes to the pipe and knocks on it as we cut to inside with the nephews getting the signal (and it's crimson blood red in there too) and Huey twists the wheel on the door.
They go down as the Broccoli Science Guy hears them and runs back as Huey orders them to push the button and of course Huey is too stupid to get within the three feet needed to get Dewey to push the DAMN button. How dumb can you get?! Man; this episode was rolling along quite well too. He finally pushes the red button and the door closes and Broccoli Science Guy takes a perfect face plant into the door with a MAN-SIZED bump. HAHA! Now that's the spirit guys! I think the Science Guy is voiced by George DiCenzo as well; but like most of the aliens, Chris Barat is no help to me. The nephews cheer for victory as Squash arrives to grab Duckworth and is near the door heading outside as he threatens the nephews to open the door or the coward goes into orbit without a ship. He opens it and there is a lot of wind as they finally break logic for #4 for the episode for obvious reasons. That ends the segment 11 and a half minutes in. Much better than Luck'O The Ducks for sure.
After the commercial break; we see Squash and Duckworth struggle at the door to outside space as the nephews wonder what they can do and Huey proclaims that they follow Launchpad Golden DA RULE (FAIRY GODPARENTS!): When in doubt; push a lot of buttons. Sounds like a fair rule to me. Huey and the nephews go to the ship's control panel and they push buttons with their hands and feet like crazy. Of course Donald's golden rule would be to smash the panel with his head. Louie then pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and a panel from the ceiling opens and the laser beam nails Squash right in the ass. HAHA! It's PUMPKINHEAD ON FIRE time as he runs through the door with the Scooby Doo Snow Angel spot of course (which at least makes sense here since he is an alien natch) as the slaves cheer for victory. Elephant lady blows some water onto the ground and that allows Squash to plant his ass on it. Traitor! I just knew she was working for the dark side. Or maybe not. Duckworth struggles towards the button on the left side of the door and finally presses it to close the door. Duckworth breathes a sigh of relief that the logic break existed in order for him not to die from reality. Duckworth proclaims that there will be milk and cookies when they get home which brings in Garlic and his two Broccoli soldiers complete with SHOCK STICKS OF DEATH~! Ooooo....they must be the Mountie's new special Constables for the RCMP.
Huey is SHOCKED as he pushes a square red button and the hatch opens and the veggie heels get grape tombed. HAHA! More cheering like mad as the stickiness of the substance is probably grape gum as Commander Broccoli (it's easier to spell by the way) walks in and demands answers for this outrage. I'm still demanding answers on why 4Kids was so cheap in NOT hiring George DiCenzo for Yami. Duckworth wants answers as well as Broccoli blows him off for questioning him and wants to turn him into plant food which is great for Garlic and Squash as we get logic break #5 for the episode. Damn; can these writers get their Economy of Characters straight or something. Duckworth responds by revealing that the nephews can destroy the plants on the space ship with a press of a few buttons as Commander Broccoli has been out threatened. Duckworth asks if he likes them frozen or boiled. I like them grilled by the way so I'm out of luck here.
We cut to the nephews sitting around on the control panel as Huey wants to push a red round button as he flirts with it and Broccoli gasps in horror because apparently the big ass red button of doom will cause them to be gay. Or something like that. Duckworth invokes the Gruffi pose to annoy me as Broccoli sucks up and wants to chat over some nice onion tea. Now there's something that should be marketed in some way. Broccoli and Duckworth walk away as Duckworth orders the nephews to stand their ground as he will return soon. So we logically head to inside a hallway with a green clam shell like couch as the machine doors open and in comes Commander Broccoli and Duckworth. Broccoli offers Duckworth a seat and of course the seat is a Venus Fly Trap monster who roars. Duckworth declines of course as the plant is not happy with that decision as Duckworth does the Gruffi pose again to annoy me. Commander Broccoli goes to the window and explains the situation at hand.
He pushes a button on a control panel and the window changes to a television screen as it show the planet Vegedonia (planet earth with pink Saturn like rings) which was a perfect plant like paradise as we see Squash, Broccoli and Garlic bathing in the sun with beach gear on resting in the sand. We then cut to a meadow and the sun begins to dim to the moon and the planet turns to ice right AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark). The veggies freeze on cue as we then cut to the spaceship as the veggies all walk in (including potted plants of their children natch) like an ark as the spaceship flies around breaking some ice as we get a shot of the ship in space as Broccoli explains that almost all of their work force was destroyed; they had to borrow workers from other planets. I just love it when the heels would deny using the word slave. Duckworth rightfully blows him off for that one as I expected him too.
….And he is going to fight them no matter what the cost is as we cut back to the control room as the nephews watch the window of the workers. Shouldn't they be on the control panel instead? Huey blows off Duckworth for drinking a gallon of onion tea. The nephews decide to save Duckworth from himself (as Louie goes yuck on the onion tea. Bastard!) and they open the pipe above the control panel and then jump inside and then open another panel from the other side as they pan down to see a bunch of mini space cars. The nephews jump down (getting off Junior Woodchucks for the third time in this episode no less) and hop into the space car as they mean rescue. They close the glass hatch and drive away into the garden and remember to knock over Garlic and Squash in the process. And of course the watermelon is shaking his drum sticks in outrage. Why should he? Isn't he the racial stereotype of this outfit?
And of course the nephews don't know how to drive despite doing a better job than the Wuzzles do at driving. And of course Squash and Garlic are right behind them driving a space car as this is the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE VEGGIE EDITION~! Quackeroonie #2 beckons as the space car bumps the other space car. They drive into the hallway outside the garden and the chase continues as Garlic calls Squash a big gourd. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. The nephews bowl over two Broccoli guards as we get some FPS action. They of course bust into Broccoli's headquarters which leads to the FCC FRIENDLY OFF-SCREEN DESTRUCTION OF DOOM and then they break through the wall on the right side and now the glass dome is shattered (I think) as Duckworth and Broccoli are in the back seat.
Joey Styles: We just fixed that wall!
Duckworth checks on Broccoli and he's knocked out cold as Garlic accuses them of kidnapping Broccoli. NO?! REALLY?! Squash loves this as he can now take over as leader and go squish, squash. I guess that makes Broccoli the defacto babyface in this episode now. Garlic is not amused by this as the chase continues and logic break #6 for the episode beckons as the glass dome magically is back on again. Damn it Wang Films; this episode is really good and you keep ruining it! Sadly; the space car reaches a dead end (death reference #2 for the episode) as the nephews stop the car on a dime and it somehow doesn't crash into the wall. How about that?! The heels (two space cars; the second one has broccoli soldiers with shock sticks) as they stalk the babyfaces and Louie cuts a rock and hard place promo and Dewey counters with a first time promo. The veggies talk towards the screen and that ends the segment 16 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we see that the glass dome in the space car open as the awaken babyfaces are DOOMED, DOOMED I SAY~! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! They pull the levers (WRONG LEVERS!) and they close the tractor dome down. Huh? I didn't know the steering levers doubled as a dome closer? Who knew. The heels use their shock sticks on the glass dome; but no dice. Squash gets on top of the dome and jumps up and down on it with his usual squash promos. Good bumping on that one as the nephews realize that they are going to break through now. Duckworth then grabs the transmitter as the glass is slowly breaking as he informs the slaves in the garden that without their help he will die (death reference #3) as we cut back to the garden as the slaves hear Duckworth's message that it's time to end this madness of slavery. The whip leave guard is confused on the situation as the slaves put down their BARREL OF LAUGHS with the lizard one blowing the guard off and then stomping the oil barrel onto his foot with a MAN-SIZED bump. OUCH! That is going to leave a mark. Another barrel by the kangaroo alien on another leaf guard (there are two of them?!) with another good bump off-screen as the mob run like a mob and they are not going to take anymore crap anymore. I think Duckworth has earned his wings of overness in this series; don't you think? Too bad he pissed it all away in Take Me Out Of The Ball Game and that rant is next.
The creatures (including mud golems) run into the hallway as we cut back to the space car as the dome is broken and the nephews blow them off as salad bar rejects. The fists are up and here comes the mob as they blitz the soldiers with shock sticks. Lizard Alien dodges Garlic's stick and bites the end off of it. If that is all that it takes to defeat them; then these veggies are grilled in terms of creditability. Oh well; it was fun while it lasted though. TAIL OF PAIN swipes Garlic away stage left off-screen; but no bump is forecoming as we cut to the nephews being backed away by Squash. Sadly it leads to the conveniently placed ROOM OF HOES (NOT THOSE ONES!) and the nephews take some of the hoes onto the Hoe Train. Oh man; that was just plain stupid of me. The hoe sword fight ensue and they bash the shock stick away from Squash and knock him down on his ass with a decent bump to the floor. And in comes Whip Guard #1 to whip the nephews right in the ass. HAHA! Why they don't do this with the Jonas Brothers is beyond me. I'm sure that will improve their talents a wee bit. The nephews drop the hoes on cue and then counter by having Dewey grab the whip arm of the Whip Man Guard and Huey and Louie grabbing the other arm and then doing a whirlwind spot on him to tie him up.
The nephews want an early harvest as they run into the garden and we cut to more fighting as the four armed alien whacks some broccoli soldiers away while Elephant Lady blows water from a bucket right into some of their faces. Oh boy; that is just asking for fried broccoli stalks with those shock sticks around. Kangaroo alien plays golf with his tail on some more and they all get bunched up into a neat rope package ready for the big ass supermarket. HAHA! The nephews do the tying up by the way. That leaves Squash and Duckworth alone in the hallway as Squash has got his violent streak on and then blows Duckworth off as a coward. Duckworth then pulls Squash's helmet down over his eyes and undoes his belt which causes another whirlwind spot to annoy me as Duckworth proclaims that he has no wits to begin with. HAHA! The spider alien (!!!) then spins a web around Squash to stop him from spinning as we cut back to the garden as the nephews push on the veggie heels. Duckworth enters and everyone cheers for victory as Duckworth and the nephews get the football victory spot.
By the way; nice psychological projection on the funny faces part guys. And then the spaceship takes a nosedive just as Louie wants to go back to Duckberg. I just knew that CDS would be traced back to this episode since the episode should be nearly over by now; and there is still about 3 ½ minutes left. We slide down as the spaceship is completely out of control. Everyone hangs on as the heel veggies bounce towards the back wall and they blow off them for forgetting one little detail. Elephant Lady blows him off in kind as Huey blows off her because elephants never forget. Someone should tell Huey about the Republican Party and that might change his tune. Elephant Lady then cracks me up by wonder what an elephant is. Huey blows her off and then they slide down and they are forced to grab onto the lizard alien's tail as we cut to outside and see the spaceship heading for a green planet as pointed out by Duckworth.
Commander Broccoli has apparently regained his senses as he is tied up and tells Duckworth to release him in order to regain control of the ship and lizard alien blows him off because he cannot be trusted. Duckworth then takes the dagger and releases Commander Broccoli as he runs to the front and takes over the control. After all; it's either trust them to save you; or die. Kind of like Iwata's speech about video games actually. He pulls onto the stick and it does a hyperbole which should have saved them in any other universe; but the ship pulls back down as the gravity of the planet has caught them. D'OH! Duckworth runs in and pulls with Broccoli (with Squash protesting this outrage even though there is nothing he can do about it) and the ship manages to hyperbole enough to allow it to crash safely in a green area as the nephews proclaim that LP isn't even here to do it. HAHA! Quackeroonie #3 beckons as Duckworth calls this driving Scrooge to the bank. Somehow I don't doubt that for a second.
So we cut to outside as the space ship door opens and out comes Broccoli, the nephews and Duckworth as he smells the air and it is pure and warm. Broccoli believes that this planet is good enough for them and asks for Duckworth to grant them their freedom and Duckworth agrees to it as we cut to a makeshift garden as the veggies work hard with their hoes and then we pan over to the cliff as the lizard aliens blows off Duckworth for not making them their slaves and Duckworth proclaims that if he did; he would be no better than they are. And the nephews call it pretty bad as Squash plops some dirt right on Garlic's head in response. HAHA! So then we cut to a fountain where Elephant Lady is in the tub with a pink bubble bath scrubbing herself again. She calls it to Duckworth and she points to a wooden bus bench over on the ground as the nephews and Duckworth sit down on it (after Duckworth does the feather duster job on it to amuse me). Duckworth proclaims that the bus company will be happy to see it as Commander Broccoli comes in and shakes their hands and promise to fight for the freedom of all creatures. Duckworth loves that as we cut to Broccoli inside the control room as the creature cheers for victory as he pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and that invokes the beam as he states that he'll never forget this day as the beam hits them and then goes into space scattering in five different direction. Huh? A proper ending? No CDS in sight? What is that?!
Everyone gets zapped onto their planets as we cut back to elephant lady's bathroom and see Elephant lady's bathtub reappear just where it belongs. We then cut back to the bus stop on day break (which means that they only spent one day tops in space) as a Hawaiian fat duck reading the newspaper stands around as the bench reappears OUT OF NOWHERE with Duckworth and the nephews on it. So he promptly sits on the right side of it to squash the nephews in between two adults. HAHA! Huey then notices Scrooge's limo driving and he proclaims that the driver needs some driving lessons as we see Scrooge driving the limo and it's logic break #7 for the episode because he's driving on the right side despite in other episodes it was driven on the left side. And I guess we now know who has been teaching the Wuzzles how to drive? I guess Scrooge graduated from the Launchpad School of Self Defense Driving. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Scrooge does manage to stop the limo though without further incident and notices Duckworth. Duckworth comes over as Scrooge agrees to let Duckworth delay his firing to..never as Duckworth agrees to it without any question whatsoever. Scrooge asks who is in favor of it and the nephews all cheer in victory. The fat Hawaiian duck then gets scared and then runs away for no reason whatsoever (Coward!) as Scrooge and Duckworth shake hands on it. Everyone gets into the limo (with Duckworth driving on the right side of course.) and Duckworth drives away to end the episode at 21:07. Bad logic breaks aside; this was a really fun episode and better than Citizen Khan would turn out a few years later. Duckworth earned his crew cut here although it makes the whole thing sadder in hindsight overall. *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; Wang Films really frustrated me with logic breaks and animation mistakes out of the wazoo; but Duckworth's performance more than made up for it and the result with an episode which was better than Citizen Khan was. Fighting Veggie Aliens is pretty funny and for the most part; the veggies were pretty much veggies that most children would consider heels. I also like the co-operation finish in this one because it did avoid the trap of being a black and white episode (with Garlic and Squash still consider heels while the rest are babyfaces now). Although I could have lived if the guy banging on the drum all throughout this episode wasn't a watermelon (THAT'S RACIST!). As I stated before; I feel that the episode was really built up well and it's nice that the nephews didn't get protected in this one as they got their butts whipped (literally) by the Whipman Plants. Scrooge was okay; although his firing of Duckworth is a little absurd, but he made up for it in the ending. Overall; this was a pretty entertaining episode; but it could have easily been a ****+ episode if the logic breaks were not there. It certainly makes up for the terrible leprechaun episode that's for sure. Next up is the final two episodes which are two shorts: Magica's Magic Mirror and Take Me Out Of The Ball Game. And have mercy on Duckworth's soul as it's all downhill for him. So...
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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