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Magica's Magic Mirror/Take Me Out Of The Ball Game
Take Me Out Of This Episode!
Well; we end the disc set with an interesting set of episodes as this was the only time in Ducktales history that there is two 11 minute episodes. One involving a magic mirror and another one involves baseball. And I'm dreading these two for very different reasons. So let's rant on shall we...?!
Magica's Magic Mirror is written by Richard Merwin and Take Me Out of the Ball Game was written by Tedd Anasti. Both episodes shorts are story edited by Ted Anasti and Patsy Cameron.
Magica's Magic Mirror: We begin this one with a far shot outside of Duckberg Stadium as the fans of various genders, races, species and clothes walk out. We then cut to a side shot as the nephews and Scrooge come out. Huey then declares that the Duckberg Mallards are the greatest baseball team in the world. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And of course they lost....again! BWHAHAHAHAHA! Major sulk fest ensues from the nephews. And you thought the Mount Allison Mounties from 2001 were terrible?! I don't think fans need to be reminded of Saint Mary's blowing them out 101-0 in AUS football now do we? They ask if Scrooge brought his lucky dime with him and of course he did; which means he is only lucky. Oh boy! I believe this is our first (for rant purposes) on the battle between Scrooge protecting his lucky MacGruffin Vs. Magica stealing his lucky MacGruffin. And then in comes a gypsy lady wearing a purple cloth hood with black high heels that make her look an d sound like Magica Despell. Oh wait...Magica and Scrooge have a meeting of the minds; and it wasn't at the hotdog stand. Magica proclaims that an evil man is after her as we see some dogsperson who dresses and looks exactly like those characters from Spy Vs. Spy video games; coming towards her. Magica then gives Scrooge the GOLDEN MIRROR OF VANITY and Magica declares that it's worth more than gold itself. It also sees the future as Scrooge stammers like an idiot. The SPY Vs. SPY dogface stalks further as Magica puts the mirror inside Scrooge's suit and tells him to not make funny faces and say:
Magica: Mirror, mirror made of gold. Show me what the future holds!
….at the same time. He can look and make funny faces in the mirror though. Now you would think that Magica's broken Russian accent would have gotten Scrooge to take the hint on who it is; but I guess he has Launchpad Airhead Syndrome today. Magica grabs onto Scrooge's beak and Scrooge nods as the nephews are confused. I'm confused that Wang Films can animate the background character so well throughout all this. Magica gets off an Italian reference to goodbye (A shout out to the fact that the Bark's character is Italian; thank you Chris Barat for mentioning this.) and wraps her cloak and runs off. Then we see Magica running into an alley and a dead end. And here comes the SPY VS. SPY rat of doom to corner her and Magica is going to get it (Chuck McCann voicing him). He then goes into his violin case and gives her the pizza she ordered. BWHAHAHAHAHA! She wasted all that time giving the mirror to Scrooge so to avoid a pizza delivery boy thinking that he's from a video game?! She changed her mind as she swears off the anchovies and pineapple pizza from here on out. Let me guess; she has no MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH and he wants the mirror as payment. She flings her cape and thanks to the Wii blue flash she turns into a vulture and flies away much to the shock of the Cosplay Spy Vs. Spy of Doom. He proclaims that the Gangster Guy Pizza Place doesn't pay him enough to put up with this. HAHA! Maybe it's time to take a job at a normal pizza place. I wondered where the Themed Pizza Place gimmick from The Weekenders came from?
So we see Magica practicing the fine art of not being seen as she sneaks on Scrooge's property and hides inside the woodshed (the same one from Send In The Clones natch) and turns on the lights. She takes off her hood and brings out the second MIRROR OF VANITY as it is great grandma's two way mirrors; akin to a non-verbal transmitting television. Her great grandmother's name is Tragica. Geez; I wonder why she is called that? Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge! She places the mirror on the wooden table as she proclaims that she can give Scrooge any phony future she chooses on him. She brings out her black kettle pot (because you somehow have to keep Shawn Michaels away.) and some magic dust and puts it into the pot. There is a puff of smoke (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING AND QUACK PACK EPISODES!) as she brings out something black (looks like hair to me) as she hears a limo coming and peeks outside through the door as Scrooge's limo is going up the driveway. I see logic break #1 for the episode as there is NO gate in front of the property. That is awfully weird to see.
She proclaims that his lucky dime will be hers and he'll believe anything. So we head inside as Scrooge walks in to his office and that's logic break #2 for the episode since it's the same room as his Money Bin. And the chair is supposed to be green. He takes out the mirror and with a bad attitude; he makes the worst funny face in history. Scrooge calls this ridiculous along with the funny faces; so you know that funny face really did suck. He puts the mirror on the desk and then walks out as we cut back to Magica inside the woodshed blowing him off because he must try the mirror see. Magica then hears whistling and climbs onto a chair to see Doofus Drake skipping down a hill with a sandwich. Oh goody; this is going to be a really fun episode short after all. Magica goes to her bag and brings out the video camera and then walks out and hides behind a tree to capture some footage of Doofus skipping to his lou almost as good as Toadie does. Magica tells him to smile as he's on Magica's camera and then stops taping and heads back inside. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.
So she heads back to her bag and brings out a cheesy colored television set (portable of course) and connects a cable to the television camera and then places the portable television onto the table as the smoke gets more intense and then the mirror reveals that the nephews are inside the office with the mirror making funny faces which are slightly better than Scrooge. Louie tells Huey to get on with it and Huey chants the deadly spell word and they see some electrical sparks and an image of Doofus skipping to his lou earlier on and he's eating a chili dog. Man; you have to have an iron stomach to handle those dogs. Huey asks if this what the future holds and in comes Doofus with the chili dog asking if they are ready for the picnic and the nephews scatter out like scalded ducks with the mirror. Huh? What was so scary about Doofus Drake? I don't get it at all.
Doofus wonders where it all went wrong in the relationship as we cut to Scrooge in his blue lazy chair which has a banana yellow towel with a red dollar sign on it. Was that chair is bought with blood money? AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The nephews run in with the mirror telling him about seeing the future as Doofus skips in eating the rest of the chili dog still as confused as ever. Scrooge blows them off of course because they are seeing things. Of course they are; they saw Doofus eating a chili dog. How do you explain why they got so scared? Dewey claims that they are honest and now Doofus wants to see into the future as Huey gives him the mirror and tells him how to do it as we cut back to Magica blowing off Doofus' face and remembering to call him a doofus in the process. HAHA! So I guess Magica is screwed as we hear an airplane engine roaring which signals the arrival of Launchpad McQuack. She looks out the window and sees LP flying in another plane that he'll likely crash before this episode is over.
Magica goes over to the table and creates LP out of clay and places him into the toy airplane she brought out from her bag along with some wires and it's the perfect future for Doofus. Funny how Magica is a magic lady and she's using SCIENCE to foil her opposition. It's LP on a stick so to speak as she spins the props. We cut back to Doofus Drake with the mirror as he asks it to show him what the future holds as Scrooge doesn't look amused by this at all. We get a front shot of the mirror as it sparks and it shows the fake Launchpad in a plane as it struggle to maintain altitude. Now you would think that Doofus would have realized that LP has no coloring on his entire body and realize that this is a trick; but they don't call him Doofus for nothing you know. Then we cut back to Magica as he dumps Clay LP upside down into a clay made chimney and then smashes the mirror over it to force the point as Doofus proclaims that he is going to crash right down the chimney according to Huey.
So we cut back to Magica going to the window and seeing LP flying away as she must make sure he crashes down the chimney for real in this future see. So she uses the zap finger and that kills the props on Launchpad's plane and his plane takes a nosedive. LP bails out (which contradicts his motto of crashing WITH the plane natch) and opens the banana yellow parachute. Gedo Fashion Sense: BEGONE FROM MY TELEVISION SCREEN! He drops into the chimney and lands with a very good bump inside the fireplace as the ash inside makes him cough out. LP crawls out as Scrooge cannot believe this as LP proclaims what goes up must come down. HEE HEE! Scrooge has the mirror now as he admits that they saw him crash before it happened and therefore this mirror can tell the future.
Post-Production Glitch #1: Sloppy half-second black slug. Oh come on Eisner! Why can't you wait until the end of the short for that to turn you on. There was no need for that since the scene returns the same way.
So we return as Scrooge has the mirror and wonders what the future holds for his MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH! He then makes some funny faces and they still suck like crap as he starts chanting the spell of doom and then we cut back to the woodshed as Magica as a bag, and a model train set on the table. She pours diamond salt into the carts as Scrooge finishes the spell and the mirror sparks and it shows his sparkling diamond mines in Nosen Beak. We cut to the mirror shot as there is a eclipse of the sun and it turns into AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) within seconds. Of course Magica is using a black piece of paper and a flashlight for that. You know that smoke is giving away the fact that this is a trick; but Scrooge will probably explain it away as fog. And then Magica brings out some rocks and drops them onto the carts to recreate an avalanche. Scrooge then commits logic break #3 for the episode stating that it's an earthquake. No Scrooge; it's an avalanche. Major difference there pal.
The nephews proclaim that his diamond mine will be wiped out; but only if there is a total eclipse of the sun according to Launchpad and how often does THAT happen. Dewey then resorts to the LIBERAL RED BOOK OF LIES THE KIDS EDITION~! POW! OUCH! Ummm..I mean the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook and it states that one is happening tomorrow afternoon. They breathe a sigh of relief and then get the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as Scrooge must warn them. Launchpad offers to help because he always has some spares in the plane business. Geez; I wonder why LP. Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge! Magica watches from outside (logic break #4 for the episode since she still outside the woodshed) and proclaims that she needs to get there faster than they do; so she invokes the blue Wii flash and turns into a vulture and flies stage right.
So we logically go to Launchpad's airplane hanger (Hint: TaleSpin was built out of the loins of LP's airplane service as Jymn Magon pointed out. I still consider that a spinoff even in the most decayed sense.) as Magica lands on the right side of it and changes back into herself. She then invokes the double zap hands and cuts the wings and fins off of Launchpad's red baron plane. Oooooo; that is KNASTY of her to do something like that. She turns into a vulture and flies away as we cut to the picnic as various friends from Ducktales gather around the park including Gyro, Mrs. Beakly, Webby, Doofus and even it looks like Flintheart's son (check the junior version of Flintheart's dress). We pan over to Doofus playing a yo-yo (Kit Cloudkicker, Time Bandit. I'm just saying.) as Scrooge's limo drives away as he asks about the picnic and Scrooge blows him off because he has his future to worry about. We then go to the scene changer as Launchpad and Scrooge are in the red baron plane as the engines are on and the props begin to spin. They drive and the wings get clipped fully and there is no lift for this red baron as Scrooge blows LP off. LP responds with the obvious and then we get the off-screen MAN-SIZED bump and crash into the lake back tail up. Sadly; we get a logic break in the sound since they should have crashed about three times BEFORE they crashed into the lake. Bad sound effect timing guys. Scrooge and Launchpad are in the lake as Scrooge gets a fish on his head. HAHA! There are few things as perversely funny than a fish landing on Scrooge's head. That ranks right up there with a pie fight with the Beagle Boys. Scrooge wonders what to do now as Launchpad tells him to look into the mirror of his. Scrooge declares it a good idea as he grabs the mirror from the suit and does some really sucky funny faces on it and asks the mirror what the future holds.
So we cut to the mirror shot as it sparkles and we see Magica trespassing on his property as it's the woman and then we see an inflatable Scrooge waddle in and give her a fake dime. She thanks him for the good decision. Geez Richard; that's foretelling Scrooge's sex life a wee bit too obvious now don't you think? This of course is the only way to save the diamond mines as Scrooge takes out his dime and reveals that it's the first McGruffin...ERRR..I mean first dime he ever made and kisses it as he is going to miss it. So we logically return to the mansion as the nephews are at the window watching for LP and Scrooge to fly over and there is no dice to be had. Huey has the binoculars and Louie notices the mysterious lady with Scrooge (the inflatable one of course) as Magica takes the video camera tripod away (oh boy Merwin!) and Scrooge gets deflated in a symbolic moment. Somehow; this scene is a bit over the line for a TV-Y7 cartoon now I do think. The nephews proclaim that something weird is going on here. NO?! REALLY?! I guess Magica has a disturbing sex dream that the writers had to expose.
Magica takes the deflated Scrooge and runs into the woodshed as the nephews decide to check it out. We then cut back inside the woodshed as Magica Despell takes off her purple hood and places all into her bag (which seems to be changing style as this episode marches on.) as she proclaims that there is only a matter of time before Scrooge gives her the lucky dime. She giggles as we cut to outside as the nephews do the human chain ladder spot (Huey has his cap backwards for no reason whatsoever.) and they have Magica Despell so BUSTED! Sadly they topple and drop to the ground with wussy bumps and then they run away into the bushes complete with Hanna Barbera looping and running sound effects. Out comes Magica as she looks around and sees nothing as the nephews sneak in from the left side of the woodshed and head inside. They notice all the science stuff Magica used to trick them into believing all this nonsense and Huey grabs the mirror and proclaims that three can play at this game so to speak.
So we cut back to outside as Launchpad and Scrooge meet up with Magica dressed up as the mysterious lady. Magica greets them and then Scrooge takes out his lucky diamond and tells her to take it so his diamond mine can be safe. Then Dewey runs in and breaks it up as he asks Scrooge to check the mirror again just to be safe. I think Magica's hope chest is gone now. Scrooge decides to take up on the offer and takes the mirror out as Magica stammers as she realizes that she is totally (insert swear word here). Scrooge then breaks logic by not making a funny face at all when asking the mirror what the future holds. We then go to the mirror shot and he sees clay Scrooge on top of his clay mansion. Scrooge takes it as his own home sort of. And then in comes Louie's hand as they bring out a big ass clay doll of Magica Despell (Why doesn't she wear those fangs in the real series? That would make her so badass.) and grabs onto Scrooge demanding that he gives him the lucky dime. Somehow; I doubt Magica speaks in a German/Broken English accent there Louie.
The LP plane on a stick flies in as Giant Ass Magica sits on the roof as we cut back to inside the woodshed as Huey proclaims that he'll save him as he jumps in and pounds Magica Despell into silly putty. I guess this is payback for Send In The Clones which is downright wimpy of him as Scrooge demands answers to all this. So Dewey calls the mysterious lady out on a con game and pulls off the purple hood to bust Magica for real. So Dewey grabs the mirror from Scrooge as Magica calls them meddling imps and invokes the zap hands as it reflects off the mirror; into the woodshed; off the second mirror Huey is holding, out of the woodshed into the first mirror Dewey is holding and then it zap Magica right into her heart and she disappears as there is only some black ash left. Well; we already had one on screen death in Ducktales; so two isn't going to make any difference on the BS&P of this series. It might in future series; but it's too late for this one. Launchpad proclaims that she left in a hurry as we cut to an ice mountain as Magica re-appears below a goat on top of the tip of the mountain and Magica grabs onto the tip with her life as she proclaims that the lucky dime will be hers. Well; we got about a dozen or so plots related to this McGruffin; so there will be lots of chances to steal that dime from him Magica. The goat bleets....
Post-Production Glitch #2: Another half second black slug...GRRRRRR!!
So we return to a recycled shot of Scrooge's Mansion as Scrooge thanks the nephews for getting him out of a jam. We head into the broken logic office of Scrooge's as Louie proclaims that Magica had them all fooled with the magic mirror trick. Scrooge opens his dress drawers and places the mirror into the right drawer (NOT THOSE ONES!) and declares not to be worried so much about the future. We then hear Huey (he's the only one not in the scene by the way) as he wants to ask about his future as we cut to Huey dressed up as the mysterious lady and then he blows his cover as he has got his baseball glove ready and they are going to the Duckberg free picnic as Scrooge calls this a future worth looking into. Everyone runs out stage left on the vault shot (which makes the whole logic break even more glaring) as Scrooge yells out for baseball. Which is what the next episode short is all about. So that ends the episode at 10:46. Wow; this was a lot better than it had any right to be. Logic breaks from Wang Films dragged this one a bit though. *** ¾ (75%). And it all goes downhill from there folks....
Take Me Out Of The Ball Game: We begin this one as we go to a zoom shot of the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as we head into the nephews' bedroom as the nephews and Doofus in baseball gear (with gloves and baseball bats! You can MURDER someone with one of those Doofus!) as they do their LIBERAL RED BOOK OF LIES CHANT~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...I mean their Junior Woodchuck baseball team spirit chant. And since this is a team sport; they made absolutely sure that I cannot tell the nephews apart again. They run out as logic break #1 for the episode beckons 15 seconds in as Doofus has a black bat magically appear out of nowhere when they run out of the room. Swell; this is going to be painful to watch as we see Duckworth on the stairs slowly going down the steps with Scrooge's luggage. Duckworth remembers to lift the luggage as the kids run down the steps by the way; proclaiming that they are going to win this game. Doofus then drops his black bat and then trips on it and slides down the carpet out of the house with Scrooge and LP looking on. HAHA! The nephews stop as Scrooge demands answers to this commotion in motion. See rhyming is cool and therefore it pisses off anime purists.
See; today is the big game which is the Little League Championship game. It's between the Junior Woodchucks and the Beagle Brats. Hmmm; you suppose this has something to do with the Beagle Boys? Nah; couldn't be...I mean; how could anyone allow their kids to play little league without feeling the shame of their fathers having acute criminal records?! I also wonder how rich Mr. Woodchuck is to have finance an actual baseball team that can MAKE it this far? Launchpad is given the baseball and LP doesn't want to break their hearts as the nephews are not liking this. See; Scrooge is heading to Europe and Launchpad is the only one available on short notice like this. Nephew #1 proclaims that it's against DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) to play without a coach and Scrooge gives the game ball to Duckworth and he is now the coach. Oh boy! Let the frustration begin so to speak. Duckworth isn't so amused by this because he doesn't know how to coach a baseball team; and only knows the sport of cricket. So Duckworth is of British origin I see. We see Launchpad and Scrooge going towards the helicopter as Doofus looks on. Scrooge tells him that he has faith in him to succeed. The nephews reaction to it tells a different tale however as they decide to resign to their fate and tell him not to worry since they have a great team. Oh; are they going to find out how important it is to X and O in any game and the need for a good coach as the helicopter engines turn on and it rises into the sky. They tell him all he needs is to get a uniform and Duckworth is confused as hell. This is going to be a problem I just know it. The yelling gives that away.
Post-Production Glitch #1: Another half second black slug. What; has Eisner lost his sex drive so much that he needs these to turn him on?
We return to action with a sky shot of a baseball field which looks like a cheap field you see in a small town area. We zoom in west and we see a foot shot of Duckworth wearing the funniest polo gear I have ever witnessed. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! This guy would be totally unfazed by the phrase: Fashion Faux Pas. He tosses the baseball a few times in the air and comments on his washing skills as the nine players of doom (five of them are ducks including Webby (check the pink ribbon on her head), three dogspeople, and one pig. A third of them are female by the way) are confused and shocked at all this. Nephew #1 comments on the starch and Duckworth asks what they should do first. Nephew #1 states that they need to warm up as a baseball drops in out of nowhere and we see a smaller version of a Beagle Boy with a glove walk in and grab the ball. So let me get this straight: The Beagle Brats are all criminals (check the black mask and white board with lack of numbers on)?!
What kind of city allows convicted criminals to play baseball outside of a prison cell? And why are the Beagle Brats dressed up as mini versions of the Beagle Boys? Isn't that setting them up for a life of crime or something? Well; this scene proves that Kit Cloudkicker was not the only child heel in DTVA; although he would be the only one who would turn babyface (twice!). We then cut to the close shot of the field as they have finished their warm up and the Beagle Brat pitcher (Brian Cummings- check the Doofus voice) and he tells them to moidelrize them! Huh?! That somehow is a threat? And that word doesn't exist in Open Office's world. Everyone leaves the field as Duckworth blows them off for such language. I agree; don't use words that Open Office doesn't understand. Otherwise; you are a potty mouth at worst and an idiot at best. The Woodchucks take the field as they are ready to pound them into hamburger and make the creeps cry for their mommies. Um; they only have one mother Webby. It's Ma Beagle. And only in this baseball league would Webby's Quackerpatch Doll be considered as a legal baseball glove.
Dockworth isn't happy with the conduct of his team and proclaims that he needs to give them instructions in mannerly conduct. UH OH! I'm guessing Duckworth is going to lose his creditability from here on out. Duckworth walks beside the Beagle Brat's dugout and speaking of the devil lady herself; there is Ma Beagle herself watching on (June Foray of course in her Grammi Gummi voice) as she was worried about the Junior Woodchucks having a new coach; until she saw Duckworth of course. She calls him dumber than Launchpad McJerk. Wait; who is this McJerk fellow and why has he engaged in identity theft?! She has a good breast size going there as the pitcher proclaims that they won't have to cheat in this one. And Ma Beagle blows him off because they are the Beagle Brats see. They must cheat because it's for the good of Beagle Boy's tradition. Or something like that. So we then go to home plate and we get a good shot of the umpire yelling in our faces to play ball (Terry McGovern) and then we head to another sky shot of the baseball field as the Junior Woodchucks are the home team in this one DUH. So we see Beagle Brat #1 with about seven bats in his hands (seriously) and it's batter up time. Doofus is the catcher in this one and Beagle Brat #1 drops all but one as the Beagle Family cheers on from the stands including Big Time pulling the hat over Burger's eyes for our amusement.
Wow; if this was all about the cheating of the Brats; this episode would be awesome, but with Duckworth around, it will be barely good at this point. I see the Beagle Boys have toddlers and small children wearing the same black masks. Man; this family is seriously (insert swear word here). So we go to the mound and it's Huey (I'm calling him Huey even though it probably isn't him; for clarity reasons) in the wind up. He throws the first pitch and it's an easy swing and a miss for strike one as Doofus falls on his ass. Beagle Brat #1 strikes out on three pitches; all swings and misses much to the disdain of Ma Beagle as some of the Brat blow bubble gum in the dugout. Ah; the joys of dull stuff during a baseball game. It makes Christian Nation freaks go ga-ga over. So we have Beagle Brat #2 step up and he's wearing glasses instead of a black mask; making him the only one with any sense whatsoever. He seems to have the Sherman/Peabody face on this time around as he hits the ball to third base and he throws it to the dogperson with an excellent foot on the first base to catch it for the tough out. Dewey and Doofus cheer while Ma Beagle continues to chew on peanuts in disgust in the dugout as we continue on with Huey on the mound and it's the pitcher Beagle Brat hitting the ball to deep center field as Ma Beagle gets on her feet and claps as Webby makes it to the fence; climbs up it and catches the ball with her Quackypatch doll for the third out as the brats get a goose egg to start on the wooden scoreboard to force the point.
The scorekeeper guy pops up (dogsperson with a banana yellow shirt) as the Beagle Family boos that one off the baseball field. Big Time gets his hat over his eyes for his trouble as we return to Ma Beagle's dugout and she yells at them because nice guys finish last. Someone should have told Mr. Iwata that. It's the Beagle Brats team motto see. The Beagle Brats take to the field cheering and with a point to prove as we go to the Woodchuck's dugout and Duckworth acts like a complete dick as he scolds Webby for doing that awesome catch over the wall for the final out. And what a sexist Duckworth is?! Even the nephews NEVER...AND THE ROCK MEANS NEVER stooped to that low. Huey walks to the plate as Duckworth tells them that they will listen to him on the proper instructions of behavior. Yeah; he's going to lose the game because he cannot tell the difference between baseball and cricket. So we have our GOOFY GLASSES Beagle Brat pitcher on the mound and winds up with the pitch and cracks the ball into deep center field as the fielders miss it by a mile. Webby yells at Dewey to run. HUH?! Shouldn't it be Huey running? Or did it misread Disney Captions again. Dewey makes it to third and slides in safe; but Duckworth grabs him on the baseball (hello; that's interference you Jeeves wannabe) and takes out his brush and brushes the uniform off while blowing him off for soiling his uniform. Okay; the spot is pretty funny on itself; but the dick attitude of Duckworth is already starting to get overbearing even for me. The Beagle Brat on third base grabs the ball and tags Dewey out much to the SHOCK AND APPALLMENT of the team. Doofus does a face palm on that one. Well; it was pointless since Duckworth already interfered on the play and thus Dewey would have been out anyway. Besides; that would have made it a lot better instead of the tag out and make Duckworth into a bigger dick.
And so we go to the scene changer as Louie decides to steal and make it to second base. Doofus points out the obvious as Duckworth panics and then he goes over to second base as Louie is safe easily and orders Louie to return to first simply because there will be no stealing. Umm; that's coach interference again and Louie should be out. What kind of baseball league allows this crap? Louie tries to explain to him about how the game works and that this is a part of it but no dice from Duckworth as I expected. No backtalk either as Louie walks back slowly and the Beagle Brat with the ball at second base tags him out which officially ends the innings. Again it's pointless since Duckworth interfered with the play and he would be out anyway. Duckworth dusts himself off on that one as Ma Beagle is happy and the crowd is getting restless. Yeap; Duckworth has succeeded in completely killing the crowd. As if his stupid outfit didn't do it enough already. Huey proclaims that they are in big trouble. NO?! REALLY?! That of course ends the segment a little over six minutes in.
After the commercial break; we get another sky shot of the baseball field and I fear Duckworth's overbearing attitude is just dragging this episode down big time. At least the logic is solid for the most part and Wang Films hasn't screwed up much....Yet...So we continue on as Huey is on the mound and sweating bullets doing it. He throws the ball and the pitcher hits it hard into deep center field as the Beagle Family is popping for them now. It's nice to see that Duckworth's attitude has not killed the heels cheering in any way. The Beagle Brats apparently hit a three run home run as they run the bases and put a giant three spot on the second inning score board. Ma Beagle's telling them to run is pointless since the thing appeared to be a home run anyway. Then we see Doofus up to the plate and he swings and misses. He spins into the air and his rib cage lands right on the point of the bat and then twirls around when it lands. Great spot there for the easy strikeout. That's a big goose egg for the second inning for the Woodchucks as another nephews takes to the plate (I guessing this is the bottom of the third inning now) and hits the ball into deep center field as the center field brat (who looks like the pitcher from earlier; I guess he changed positions) and uses Newton Gimmick's expandable glove to absolutely rob the nephew of an easy home run.
That's the first cheating the Beagle Brats have done in this game by the way and it took them about half of the game to do it. The Beagle Brats put a two spot in the third inning by the way as the Woodchucks get a goose egg in their home half. It's 5-0 after half of the game. And then the floodgates open as every Beagle Brat just crushes Huey's pitching as there is nothing they can do as long as Duckworth is acting like a cricket dick. They are wiping them out as the Beagle Pitcher would say as Ma Beagle is loving this game a lot better than she did in the first inning. They scored ten runs in the next two innings to lead 15-0 after five innings of play. Now I see the first real logic break of the episode as according to Little League rules; there is a mercy rule and after ten runs; the game should be officially over and the Beagle Brats should win. I guess this league thinks mercy rules are for sissies.
Ma Beagle then brings out the BEAGLE BALL OF CHEATS and gives it to the pitcher for the rest of the game to be on the safe side. And of course; it floats like a maniac as the pitcher gets it and runs onto the field. He takes to the mound and uses the twist key to wind the ball up real good. Because it's you are going to cheat; cheat with style I guess. He throws it and it is the ultimate screw ball as the nephew at the plate strikes out easily DUH! He's dizzier than Jake Roberts on a night out as the dugout is SHOCKED and APPALLED by this game's progress. Webby also strikes out easily on the screw ball as Ma Beagle is loving every minute of this fifth inning. Doofus strikes out on the same pitch spot that I hate so much. Doofus is winded on that one. I like Grubby's version better as he threw three straight pitches at the same time and caught a Mud Blup looking on all three. He's got eight legs; so he can get away with crap like that. Thankfully; the sixth inning ends with only two runs allowed by the Woodchucks as it's 17-0. The same number of runs the Duckberg Mallards allowed in one inning in Time Teasers. Man; that is so sad when a Little League Team does better on their worst day than the Mallards do on their best day. This team is truly owned by Drake Mallard. BLAM! HEE HEE! Missed again Drake! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! HEE HEE! So now we are down to the final inning of this blowout. We cut to Duckworth as he realizes that this isn't cricket. JUST NOW?! It took six hellish innings of dickiness to realize that? Nephew #1 gets onto Duckworth's shirt and completely blows him off for it as Webby explains to him why this game is so fun and Duckworth realizes that he has been going this the wrong way. So when their turn is up; he wants them to play the game like...golf. I think Ron Simmons said it best to the entire plan of Duckworth's...
Ron Simmons: DAMN!
The team is SHOCKED and APPALLED as the nephew tries to plead with him that this idea isn't going to work. Duckworth blows him off because he's the coach see. Damn; that dick attitude is getting worse as Huey takes the bat to the plate sulking. The Beagle Brat Pitcher now has him where he needs to be as he throws the pitch and Huey buckles his knees and swings it golf ball style. It goes into center field for a base hit as Duckworth calls him a good lad. Hey; this MIMI JOKE PLAN might just work after all. We then see the pig baseball boy step up and hit it well; as well as Webby and another nephew as three runs score (which is kept with a stopwatch by the umpire in a pointless spot) and that cuts the lead to 17-4. The scorekeeper watches on from central control as another three run home run is scored and it's 17-7. Now the crowd is finally getting into this comeback. That leads to the I got it spot from two outfielders and they of course have a meeting of the minds...and it wasn't at the hotdog stand as the ball easily drops in their groins for a base hit. I called that ten seconds before it happened by the way. So it's now 17-14 as one of the nephews is on first base and a home run wins the game. I guess we are going to see a grand slam home run after all. We cut back to the dugout as Duckworth asks who is at bat and of course it's Doofus Drake who probably is the only one who got the two outs needed to make this scene happen. Doofus apologizes for this and Huey is flustered (check the right arm) on that one. Doofus gets to bat and batters up as Webby cheers him on; the poor bastard. Dewey yells out as well as Doofus' knees are shaking.
The Beagle Brat pitcher twists the key on his screw ball (because we just got to make this one extra special to win it in style see.) and throws it as Doofus swings and misses for strike one. Doofus goes all dizzy on that one. Beagle Brat pitcher throws the next pitch and Doofus swings and misses for strike two as his glasses drop off his face and he cannot see. Doofus walks around blind like Velma and then the Beagle Brat catcher smashes them with his foot as he was just claiming to help him (Terry McGovern) while the umpire cleans off home plate again. At this point?! The nephews declare this game to be officially hopeless as Doofus can barely see the ball with his glass as Doofus can barely see the pitcher let alone the ball. Duckworth then yells out to Doofus to pretend that the ball is a cream puff. Doofus likes that idea (I don't think he's blind since his eyes are closed; I think he has light problems with his eyes) as the pitcher throws the fatal pitch and of course Doofus imagines seeing the ball as it turns into a big ass cream puff. And he hits the ball into center field and it is over the scorekeeper's head for the fatal grand slam home run.
Man; The Simpson's baseball ending was a lot better with Homer getting hit by pitch to win it all because it only made sense for a loser to win it that way. Doofus' turns him into super player and thus can play better without the glasses on. It nails a banana yellow bird (Good; I'm Doofus hates Gedo as much as I do) on the hyperbole and both Duckworth and Doofus get the football victory spot inside the baseball field from the babyfaces as they win 18-17 and thus make the Mallards into bigger losers than they already are. They of course drop like bad habits as the nephew proclaiming that this is the first error made all day. We then cut back to the dugout as Ma Beagle is sulking along with the rest of the Beagle Brats; wondering where the cheating went oh so wrong. So we cut to a shot of Paris as the Scrooge helicopter arrives in Europe according to Launchpad and if they end this episode with the baseball causing Launchpad to crash; I'm going to strangle the writers for that stupid logic break. I check the DVD....DAMN YOU Tedd Anasti! Launchpad gets bonked on the head with the baseball (duh); LP gets knocked out (duh); helicopter goes into a tailspin (duh); helicopter crashes into the water while Scrooge blows off Launchpad (duh) and Scrooge and Launchpad are holding on to cargo (duh). Launchpad grabs the baseball and he calls a funny European ball. Scrooge sulks on that one as I do and we circle fade Scrooge out to end the episode, the disc and Volume 2 at 10:48. Another episode that was better than it had any right to be; although Duckworth's dick attitude and terrible ending left me with a slightly sour taste in my mouth. Still a lot better than Luck O'The Ducks that's for sure and it ended about 12 minutes quicker too. ** ¾ (55%).
Errata: And I just realized why these episodes were so well as they are animated by TMS. Sorry for mistaking it for Wang Films improving.
THE REVIEW LINE
So we end this volume with two middling shorts which performed a lot better than I expected them to. My original thought of Magica's Magic Mirror was that it was way too short to mean anything and it deserved to kill Take Me Out Of The Ball Game and be a 22 minute episode since I thought Duckworth's coaching gimmick was heinous and it really killed Duckworth as a character for me. Well; Magica's Magic Mirror actually turned out to be a really excellent little short that was dragged down by logic breaks. I did like Magica's irony in that she used mostly science (with a little bit of magic here and there) to foil the good guys and Scrooge most of all. I think the Doofus thing was a bit absurd (and a BS&P decision if I ever saw one); but everything else made sense and their reactions were pretty funny. Although Scrooge needs to make better funny faces because they all look like a bad vampire movie. I also liked the ending as it did segue into the next short pretty well methinks.
As for Take Me Out of The Ball Game; it was also better mostly due to the Beagle Brats cheating at the right moments while taking advantage of Duckworth's cricket dick attitude. Duckworth turned out to be really bad; but not nearly as bad as I thought he would be (although the sexist comment to Webagail was over the line in my view. Makes me respect the nephews just a little bit more). And naturally; the finish was over the top stupid as Doofus' ball somehow lands in Europe on Launchpad's head even though the cheating ball stayed in the field for most of the game and hit a yellow ball and should have landed on the ground near the Money Bin instead of in Europe. That to me is a CDS ending as they could have made a lesson out of Duckworth's plot thread and then they ignored it for a finish that made no sense and was played just to get a cheap laugh out of Launchpad that was not needed. TMS did a much better job limiting the logic breaks and animation mistakes in this one; as compared to Magica's Mirror where they put Scrooge's Money Bin office in his mansion (and the vault door made it even worse). So in the end; we got some middling episodes that put a 22 minute abomination like Luck O'The Ducks to complete shame. As it should of.
So that ends Volume 2 of Ducktales; as this disc contained two thumbs up, six thumbs in the middle and one thumbs down. That's a grand total of 10 thumbs up, 13 thumbs in the middle and two thumbs down which is a really decent ratio for a series that lasted 23 years or so. I would say that most of the characters have had their great moments; but Webby and Duckworth seemed to be considered throwaway characters; which is sad because Webby can deliver a great episode when she isn't saddled with an animal plotline and Duckworth can go when he doesn't look like a dick. Sadly; the logic breaks are pretty glaring and when TMS is animating; it can be really frustrating for an animation studio that is supposed to have an excellent reputation. Wang Films is crappy; but it's expected to be. So; next up for Ducktales is Volume 3 as we have the nephews growing up and being evil; an episode written by a guy who could be enshrined in the Agony Booth Hall of Shame; Launchpad's story on his first crash; Gloria Swansong's DTVA debut; and the debuts of Bubba, Tootise, Fenton Crackshell and GIMZO DUCK~! So.....
Thumbs in the middle for both episodes and I'll see you next time.
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