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Duck to The Future
Even Scrooge knew the meaning of content and values; why doesn't Eisner and Iger?
Welcome kiddies to our first rant of Volume 3 of Ducktales. So now we have our Back To The Future reference; I can safely say that time travel will be involved in this one. And yes; the caption does play a huge role in this episode. So let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Ken Koonce and David Weimers (that's #4 for the duo!). The story is edited by Ted Anasti and Patsy Cameron.
Opening Note #1: Well; Disney Captions is now in a white font...and they still screw up the Woo-ooh part of Ducktales as it is now Ooh-Woo-ooh! Seriously; is Disney Caption that dense? Or is Disney in general sending a message that they don't really give a damn about DTVA. Well; figures knowing them. Oh; and they also got a few parts of the song wrong (Looks behind you; not Watch behind you. Bad and good Ducktales; not bad and good luck tales!).
So we begin this one with a shot overlooking the city from the Money Bin and we zoom in towards Scrooge's mansion as we head to the front of the gate on a sidewalk as the nephews and Doofus are having a lemonade stand going on complete with watch tower (which Doofus is in the eagle's nest. Somehow I find that a little disturbing for a lemonade stand.). Various dogspeople pass by as the nephews make the lemonade all you can drink. It's only a penny which is probably why this stand is going to go bankrupt by the end of this episode. The nephews proclaim that their lemonade is selling like hotcakes. So a person decides to give out a penny and we cut to the watch tower as the nephews tell Doofus to step on it and he smashes the lemon in the bucket with his feet. Ah; I see this spot was recycled for Pizza Pie In The Sky. The juice goes down the chute and into the cup; and then drops into the pitcher as Louie throws in some sugar cubes and then the juice is pour into the glasses. The man in the blue suit tries it and of course it's so sour as hell that he cannot pucker up to say that it's terrible and then walks out. That lemonade is now sour-aid. Must be Doofus' special elixir. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Doofus jumps down and wants some of that elixir of his and drowns it down as Webby appears and wants to help; but the nephews blow her off again.
Damn; they are STILL acting like sexist boys. And naturally; it's Huey blowing her off; what a shock?! Webby blows them off in kind and swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (Gee whiz!) and then storms out. Man; you know these nephews have a problem with the opposite sex if she cannot even work with them on anything. So Scrooge walks in wondering what they have here. The nephews show off their profits at 56 cents; which means 56 people bought their lemonade and 56 of them will never come back for more. These nephews need to learn how to KEEP a customer and make profits. Scrooge then asks if that is net or gross and Huey confuses that with Doofus' lemon stomping. HAHA! Scrooge asked how much the material cost. And they of course spent all their allowances which means that they spent six dollars and made 56 cents; so they lost $5.44. HAHA! Huey doesn't get it either as Scrooge tells them to make changes; smaller glasses; less waste and advertise. I disagree. How about rising the price to 50 cents and making better lemonade. Content and values people! CONTENT AND VALUES! Why can't Scrooge get that who is a guy who is rich to the gills? Scrooge needs to study his business plans better as the nephews proclaim that they'll be as rich as him. Scrooge walks out and tells them in good time perhaps.
So we cut to Scrooge walking down the sidewalk pondering about the nephews taking control of Scrooge Enterprises as we see a Fortune Telling store where Magica Despell is hiding. She hide away as Scrooge doesn't suspect a thing while pondering about seeing THE FUTURE~! We then see a fortune telling wagon (check the eye inside the Mickey Mouse glove sign) as Magica is dressed up in front of the wagon as the Mysterious Lady from Magica's Magic Mirror; only in more pink. If he falls for this; then he has Launchpad Airhead Syndrome this week. And of course she nearly blows her cover by saying stole instead of told. Naturally; as I expected Scrooge doesn't suspect a thing as he doesn't expect himself to believe he can REALLY see into the future. I'll give Magica this though; she at least didn't break her cover by showing off pentagrams out of the wazoo. Magica proclaims that she sees the future so well she doesn't have to buy a newspaper because it's old news. Yeap; LP Airhead Syndrome is present this week as if the Broken English accent doesn't already give Magica away. Scrooge is pulled by his suit into the wagon as we cut to the fortune table as Magica is in her devilish chair (check the demons on the back of the chair) as Scrooge is in a regular chair. No pentagrams here either; although there is a badly mangled peace symbol on the front of the purple tablecloth.
Magica asks what he wants to know as the crystal ball grows Wii and there is a green snake inside. Oh my goodness; video game conspiracy nuts would have A FIELD DAY with this show and DTVA in general. Scrooge asks her if his businesses would be in good hands in THE FUTURE~! Okay; the green snake is an accent on the crystal ball; my mistake. Magica gets all fortune telling giddy as the crystal ball turns green and apparently there are dark clouds in the future. Wow; there are peace symbols everywhere below the crystal ball which is odd for a heel. There is red clouds and thunderclaps and then the crystal ball goes blank as the future is very bleak. Scrooge wants more; but Magica swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (Curses!) and proclaims that it's the last time she buys a crystal ball at Pick'n Save. HAHA! If only the QP nephews had heeded her advice; then they wouldn't be in a lot of trouble. That wouldn't improve the characters much; but still. Magica asks him if he would like to go into the future to see for himself; and Scrooge would like to; but Gyro's Time Tub is still in the shop for repairs. I wonder if LP crashed the Time Tub at some point? Or did Gyro do it in Time Teasers; and we didn't see it? Both answers work at this point.
So Magica brings out the SANDS OF SATAN'S TIME (check the nasty devil on top of the hourglass) as she proclaims that they can zap him into Time & Punishment. Okay; just the future. Scrooge then asks how he gets back and Magica stammers as he should take the subway and Scrooge blows her off for THAT response. By now; it's clear that it's Magica Despell. However; Magica proclaims that subway is very awesome in the future and Scrooge decides to go for it. And CONTINUITY wept tears of sorrow. Magica's Magic Mirror; I'm just saying. Magica opens the top of the hourglass and throws the sand on Scrooge McDuck and he disappears instantly after the broken English spell. Afterward; Magica finally blows her cover and reveals that with Scrooge gone; she'll finally get his lucky dime for good this time. Yeap; this is round two of Scrooge protecting his McGruffin against Magica stealing his McGruffin. So we logically head to a far shot Duckberg IN THE FUTURE~! And other than the change in looks; it seems that the future still has a decent amount of trees left. We zoom in to a busy street which has shiny metal on the ground as a zip air car goes whizzing by as Scrooge re-appears on the street. Scrooge looks around and there is not a dark cloud in sight as Scrooge blows Magica off for using a bowling ball to predict the future.
Scrooge gets on the conveyer belt beside a dogsperson wearing a green suit which looks like something out of the Green Lantern's wardrobe and asks him about McDuck Enterprises and the dogperson (Hal Smith) blows him off because it's Magica-McDuck Enterprises. UH OH! I think the dark clouds are about to strike him right about now. Scrooge asks him how to get there and the Green Lantern guy tells him to take any bus since all them lead to the Enterprise. Scrooge asks where the bus is and the bus arrives just in time for the guy to blow him off. Scrooge goes into the bus on the left side as the driver is on the right side driving who is dogsperson wearing light greenish brown with a banana yellow bowtie. I see the future still worships Gedo at this point as Scrooge asks for the fare and it's $500 exact change. Scrooge is not amused by that and decides to walk as he asks who is responsible for charging these outrageous prices and the bus driver (Terry McGovern) tells him it's the Enterprise of course. In other words; we are in Shere Khan's wet dream; only Shere Khan's Cape Suzette was as close as he got to this reality.
Scrooge is not amused by that as we cut to Magica-McDuck Enterprises (which has Magica's head on top as a statue which shows that Scrooge isn't vain in the very least.) as Scrooge walks to the front door and ponders about why this has happened. It's simple; Magica stole your lucky dime and this is the justification of why Scrooge must protect it at all costs. No matter how contrived it actually sounds. Scrooge goes to the front door (a glass door spinner) and the intercom female voice (June Foray) absolutely cracks me up by asking for a $100 fee. HAHA! Nice yellow flash there as Scrooge isn't amused by that and tries to push on the spinning door; but no dice. Scrooge then notices an open hole in the left side and Scrooge gets in to that; but then we pan back to the spinning door and Scrooge gets thrown out as the intercom blows him off. HAHA! Now I see why that hole was there; to trick the robbers in thinking that they are going to steal carte-blanche.
Nice off-screen bump from Scrooge as he swears in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE (Curse me kilts!) as he replaces his hat and then goes to the intercom and places $100 into the slot and then goes in without further incident. Scrooge then walks into the main lobby and down the stairs towards a wooden door (I guess Magica DOES have some mercy) as he storm into the office where there are various furries (strangely; more dogspeople than ducks this time) waiting as Scrooge demands to know who is in charge here. The female dogsperson (red hair, purple dress, dark skin, white gloves and pink earrings. Voiced by June Foray) tells him to wait in line since it's payday see. Scrooge proclaims he isn't here for a paycheck and the secretary tells him about turning earning over to the boss for the work of the Enterprises tax. Then her intercom buzzes and she goes over to the screen intercom and switches it on and there is an older Huey (slightly weird hairstyle, black suit, red tie; but same baseball cap.) as he addresses her as Miss Woods. Interesting this Chris Barat missed that one as Huey wants lunch. She informs him that they are on their way as we see a chef dogsperson (brown hair; brown mustache) wearing the weirdest blue/cyan outfit I have ever seen bringing two platters with covers in flowers. Scrooge sees something in this and walks away.
Now the old Huey, Dewey and Louie are voiced by the late Avery Schreiber (passed away in 2002) who started in the early 1960's with a role in Vacation's Playhouse, and then was Captain Manzini in My Mother The Car. Avery was in The Monitors, Operation Greasepaint, and Don't Drink The Water. He also made cameo appearances in television series such as Get Smart and The Ghost & Mrs. Muir (the basis for TaleSpin's episode Her Chance to Dream which was originally code named; The Ghost and Miz Cunningham.). He continued on into the 1970's with Southern Double Cross, Deadhead Miles, Escape, Airport 1979, Swashbuckler among other movies; and television shows such as the Dukes of Hazzard, Wonderbug and McCloud among others. His first Disney production was Christmas At Disney World in 1978 as Geppeto. He started voice acting in 1980 as Mouth in Misunderstood Monsters, Octagon in Thunddar the Barbarian and was a cameo in the Smurfs. Ducktales was his first and only DTVA appearance. He would go on to be in Robin Hood: Men In Tights, Blossom, The Russian Room, The Lay of the Land and then ended his career with Dying on The Edge in 2001 which is quite spooky considering that he was diabetic and suffered several heart attacks before his death.
So we head to the open door as Scrooge enter with the third platter wearing the same absurd outfit as that goof chef from earlier. Scrooge walks in as Miss Woods is typing on her computer and doesn't suspect a thing. Scrooge waltzes into the room (huh? Isn't the office of HD&L on a higher floor) and sees the grown up nephews (again wearing matching outfit which means some things never change) as they want to buy, sell and trade. Scrooge runs in and proclaims that they grown up and out. Huey goes to his intercom to call Miss Woods to run him out of the office. Scrooge then blows his cover as Huey ponders it over and ask if he deliver his lunch yesterday. Scrooge stammers as the nephews have no time for games as they have businesses to ruin see as Scrooge is SHOCKED AND APPALLED by this treatment and asks for answers as Huey proclaims that 40 years old it started with a lemonade stand. They picked up a few tips from Scrooge see. HAHA! See Scrooge; CONTENT AND VALUES~! How could an obtuse business man like you MISS that?!
Dewey proclaims that Scrooge went missing afterward and Magica stole his lucky dime as Scrooge is now APPALLED and wants to see Magica because he wants the lucky dime back. Why not just tell them you are Scrooge McDuck Scroogie?! Scrooge tries to run out as the nephews grab him and tell him that no one messes with her. Scrooge wants them to help him and Huey goes to the intercom to tell Miss Wood to get the police to bring a paddy rocket. There is a nut on the loose. Scrooge; a nut? Launchpad I can understand; but Scrooge is hardly nutty to begin with. Scrooge realizes that he is had and runs away stage left as two nephews try to block the door; but Scrooge bowls them over like bowling pins. Now that could have worked; if the bowling pin sound effect was there; but no dice. Scrooge goes outside through the spinning door. Scrooge realizes that he has to get to the past before Magica steals the lucky dime. Scrooge wonders how and then proclaims that he'll take the subway in roundabout terms. So we logically head to....
The subway station as the SUBWAY OF THE FUTURE races through gate 8 (A & D) with ease. We head inside as Scrooge is stuffed in between passengers who look more miserable than in an ordinary subway. Scrooge then sees the subway official (Hal Smith; a pig dogsperson with the same look as the bus driver; only with a green hat and sleeves) and asks him about the subway arriving in the present. I betcha he blows him off with laughter. I check the DVD....Not quite; but close enough as the subway stops and everyone runs out including Scrooge into the station. Scrooge blows off the fortune teller. Maybe it's time to realize that anyone who uses Broken English is probably Magica Despell in disguise. That's the pay you pay for Launchpad Airhead Syndrome~! Scrooge then gets inspired and realizes that there is a way out of this as we runs to...
We cut to a far shot of Gyro's House which looks pretty much the same as it did 40 years ago which is a bad sign for Scrooge right off the bat. Scrooge knocks on the door and it opens to reveal Gyro who is pretty much the same except for the white hairdo. A note: With the exception of HD&L; all older version of the characters are voiced by the same voice talents that did the original voice of the character. This will shorten the rant a little bit. Scrooge proclaims to him that he's Scrooge McDuck. Scrooge asks for the Time Tub and Gyro forgets. Somehow; this sounds normal for him as Scrooge orders him to think and Gyro realizes that it's over there turned into a birdbath. HAHA! Of course; there is only a birdbath statue in the Time Tub with a duck that looks like a rubber duckie. Scrooge asks him to fix it and Gyro asks for his name again and Scrooge states him name again and then we REPEAT THE SEQUENCE FROM EARLIER! Normally; I would hate this spot; but it damn sure works here. Scrooge is so flustered as he swears in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE (Oi, SCOTS!) as he tells him that he has work to do as he grabs him and we logically go to...
….The scene changer as Gyro is trying to fix the Time Tub as they remove the birdbath from the Time Tub and Scrooge is in it. Gyro is as confused and absent minded as ever as Scrooge continues to blow him off. Gyro pulls on the lever (WRONG LEVER!) as Scrooge dons the black striped helmet and the Time Tub spins-o-ramas. It flies into the air as a robot police guard on a zip scooter notices him speeding while hiding behind a bulletin board for Cola which looks too much like an advert for Coke. So we head to a building as an old guy call it his crash course. Take one guess who this guy is. We head inside as we see Launchpad (other than the goofy glasses, wrinkled up face and cane; he's exactly the same old Launchpad) proclaims this weeks lesson is how to survive a wreck without becoming one. HEE HEE! This is the best school EVERAH~!
We then go to the far shot near the left window as Launchpad wants some homework and of course the Time Tub shatter the glass and it''s STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD....Oops; wrong show. The Time Tub gets destroyed of course; but Scrooge is not a wreck. He passes the course and he isn't even a student. Launchpad loses his glasses and goes all Velma on us while protesting this outrage. Jealous much there LP?! The robot police guy (wearing the same helmet as Scrooge minus the siren. Take one guess who built that robot. Voiced by Terry McGovern) as he jumps in and tells him that he'll take care of this. Scrooge realizes that it looks like LP as Scrooge is under arrest for a 101 and a 506. Let me guess; speeding and crashing. Well; not quite, it's illegal use of a birdbath. HAHA! Scrooge protest this outrage as he is taken to the window as Launchpad gets his glasses back on and calls him a fruitcake. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Psychological Projection much there LP?! LP calls it some promise and a real good crash and that ends the segment exactly ten minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to a tree like building and than pan over to the Seattle Space Needle Prison of Doom inside Duckberg as Scrooge continues to protest this outrage because he's Scrooge McDuck see. We head inside the holding cells as the robot blows him off because he's an imposter and Scrooge went missing 40 years ago. Scrooge claims that he can prove it and wants to make a phone call. Yeah; that really worked with non-furries and Launchpad; sure Scrooge. The police robot decides to sell and unleashes from his chest the red phone of doom. Scrooge grabs the phone and asks for the cost. HAHA! The police robot calls it free and his civil right. Yeap; this is Shere Khan's future world. Scrooge dials up the phone for the nephews and the Russi Taylor intercom voice cracks me up as he must pay $400 for three minutes because the Magica-McDuck telephone system tax is in effect. HAHA! And the jingle is reach out and crush someone.
The phone then reveals the Mickey Mouse hands and takes Scrooge's wallet in the process as Scrooge calls himself a tightwad before correcting himself and asks for the nephews to show up. So we go to the scene changer as Scrooge is sitting on the bench and we see two teenagers arrive in future gear and one of them has a pink bow and dresses in pink like Webagail Vanderquack. Oh wait. Scrooge is amazed as she introduces herself and Doofus who Scrooge proclaims has really changed. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! He looks exactly the same as the old Doofus; only taller and wearing red gloves and boots. Yeah; Scrooge he's REALLY changed. See; Webby found him as she IS the telephone operator. SCORE!! Doofus gives the robot police officer the deed to the house and $12,000 for the bail as Scrooge realizes that Magica runs the police department as well. Geez; the free phone is such a sick joke. Scrooge is released as he asks them to take him to Magica to get the lucky dime back and Doofus refuses it for a million bucks let alone a dime. Scrooge isn't amused by that since it's the first one ever made see.
So we logically go to Magica's fortress as the helicopter car lands near a forest as Doofus explains that no one ever sees her. Everyone gets out (I guess Doofus had a change of heart) as we pan over to see the front door as the metal soliders (all painted red see) march into the building. No one can sneak into the building of course; but Scrooge hates being sneaky and prefers the direct approach as he runs in much to the protests of Webby and Doofus. Webby and Doofus follow as the iron door closes and Scrooge bangs on the door and demands that they open up. Out comes a robot guard who looks really weird (almost similar to that robot fellow from the new TMNT series- voiced by either June Foray or Russi Taylor) who demands that they state their business and Scrooge asks for Magica and the guard blows him off with no exceptions to DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) until Scrooge tells her his name and the robot recoils and realizes that it is Scrooge and therefore Magica is here to see him. The doors open and I smell a big fat trap commencing at six o'clock.
The toy black soldiers of doom march them in and open the next door as we go inside the TEMPLE OF OZ (I'm guessing the Wizard of OZ had some influence in this episode) as there are torches and a kettle with smoke pouring out of it (AND THAT IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING AND QUACK PACK EPISODES!). One of the toy soldiers proclaims that the mystical maniacalness will see them now (nice of him to blow off Magica isn't it? He's voiced by Terry McGovern). The soldier proclaims that it's was nice knowing them and runs away like a scalded robot. More crackling and thunderclaps ensue as black smoke beckons and the face of Magica arrives on the green smoke as Scrooge blows her off, naturally. Magica then admits that she sent him on a one way trip to the future as Scrooge calls her out as the fortune teller. NO?! REALLY?! Like the broken English didn't give THAT away Scroogie?! Magica blows it off because she is a fortune stealer see. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there. Magica laughs as Scrooge proclaims that he'll get the lucky dime back and no sand zapping will stop him. So Magica counters with the zapping lasers to force them to dance. That somehow is not cool unless it's a bullet shooting gun doing it. But it's THE FUTURE~! So it's perfectly all right. The group gets zapped and they disappear....
So we logically head to inside a prison dungeon cell as Webby, Doofus and Scrooge re-appear inside of it. Scrooge is upset at this as Webby asks what they are going to do and Doofus goes to his beeper proclaiming that he uses it in situations like this. NO?! REALLY?! Scrooge thinks that it's for help and Doofus agrees in the loosest sense of the word. And if you cannot guess who it is; you have no business reading this rant. So we head back to the room of Launchpad's Crash Course as Launchpad continues to teach and everyone else sleeps on their desks while it happens. HAHA! Some things never change in THE FUTURE~! He is talking about the crash of 1929 which he confuses with the 29th crash. HAHA! I say it's the 29th crash since the show is in 1987. Then his beeper goes off and he confuses it with his pacemaker. HAHA! Launchpad finds the beeper and realizes that Doofus is in trouble and walks slowly out as class is officially dismissed. Sadly; no cheering from the students though as we head back to the dungeon cell as Webby and Doofus sit together (Did I mention that they are married in this reality?) as Scrooge paces around wondering if LP is stuck in a time warp. Well; it's no logic break because even Scrooge knows what the phrase: loosest sense of the word means.
And then the right wall crashes with a MAN-SIZED bump off-screen and we pan over seeing Launchpad in his white plane car of doom as Scrooge blows him off as usual. LP asks who it is and Scrooge gets flustered as Launchpad slowly hops out and greets him because he finally got back from his vacation. HAHA! Scrooge blows him off in kind as he wants to get out of here. Everyone runs out except for LP as he slowly walks out because his bones are brittle after 4,892 crash landings. BWHAHAHAHAHA! Ironic that he talks about not being a wreck in his classes and he's a hapless wreck here. So we head to the prison cell door as the toy soldiers goes to it and notices the prisoners have escaped. No really? I'm as shocked as you are. The toy soldiers go out to the front door as we see Scrooge and company hiding behind the bushes. I see the soldiers are not too bright; or have poor vision; or this is logic break #1 for the episode. Either answer works as Scrooge tells them to get the helicopter car going and that he won't be long. Webby pleads for him not to go because it's too dangerous. Scrooge tells her that he cannot as if he is going to be stuck in this future; he'll have to start a new fortune. And he'll start with his first dime (how ironic eh?) as he walks off. Webby and Doofus are worried as the segment ends barely 15 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we pan from the building over to some bushes as Scrooge is behind them. Scrooge then notices that there is a trash heap and slide outside the building and the junk pile contains metal parts from the toy soldiers. So we get some shots of the toy soldiers marching in and out and then to the bushes as Scrooge is dressed like one. Too bad he doesn't have any walkers; or this plan would work out really well. Sadly; Scrooge couldn't find any boots either; but he easily gets inside anyway. The door slams shut and then he foolishly goes into the toy soldier car wash just to annoy me. I think anyone who has seen a car wash spot knows what happens here. So we head inside the storage room as Scrooge enters with his robot helmet off and looks around as he ponders how he is going to find that dime with all those burglar alarms. Then he notices the black mop and puts the end of it on his chin. EEEEWWWWWW! And he has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN in mind as we cut to a hallway inside the building as Scrooge arrives wearing a metal hat, green suit, spotted bow tie and a metal briefcase. Okay; this episode was going along so smoothly and this is the first major stupid move it has done. I mean; there is no reason for Scrooge to do this. Just dress up as the toy soldier and he would be fine. But no; he has to do something REALLY STUPID. He uses his cane to knock on the door and the small hole in the middle opens to reveal a toy soldier as Scrooge asks if Magica is home. The soldier asks who wants to know and Scrooge counters as he is part of Avon Alarm. The soldier refuses and Scrooge decides to leave; but warns him of having her valuables getting stolen and he gets thrown in the scrap heap. The soldier recoils and opens the door letting him in.
Man; this is pretty stupid as Magica's face appears on the smoke and she is mighty pissed off. I agree that plan is REALLY STUPID for anyone to fall for. Scrooge asks about the alarms and Magica proclaims that they are from the Enterprise of course. Scrooge blows her off because those alarms are inferior see. Magica agrees with him since the nephews were always cutting corners. Scrooge proclaims that anyone can get in if he could and sets up his metal briefcase and digs in to reveal horn alarms, bell alarms, siren alarms, talking alarms. Wonder if there is the joke alarm? If so; then we can prevent Rhinokey from going into the Improv to MURDER his audience. AHHAHAHAHAHA! That one never goes out of style. And it's really cheap too. And the talking alarm does speak about the vault being ajar (Russi Taylor I presume). Scrooge asks what she needs most protection from and Magica proclaims it's the Lucky McGruffin...ERRR..I mean lucky dime. So we go to the front of the pillar and there is the lucky dime on the pedestal with a crystal holder (shaped like three triangles coming together with eyes) protecting it. Scrooge laughs on that one and it is pretty crappy. Scrooge blows her off as Magica tells him to shut up before she zaps him into nothing. I believe this is the first DTVA episode for someone to say those nasty words...
Magica has some yellow flashes and that was a lot more disturbing than I had intended as Scrooge grabs the crystal holder and proclaims that he'll have to take it to the shop and he'll be back in a few days. Sadly; the fake mustache comes off and he's so BUSTED! You know you are screwed when THAT happens. Scrooge runs stage left as Magica realizes that it's him. NO?! REALLY?! The only guy who is barefoot in the entire city and you didn't notice?! Scrooge runs out of the room as the soldiers follow with Magica in her Macho King Throne of Doom. Okay; this is pretty contrived if you ask me, but I'll play along. So we cut to the greedy nephews (as Magica called them) walking in as they notice Scrooge stopping on a dime and realize that they have the boss' lucky dime. NO?! REALLY?! Louie orders themselves to go after him as Scrooge runs towards the front door; but it gets shut down. Scrooge then turns left and goes into the yellow storage room which is really the place for the trash (with banana yellow paint on the walls too; just to annoy me) as the JAWS OF HALF LIFE grab Scrooge's coat and he gets put on a small conveyer belt and slides down the slide into the trash heap. Damn; I knew that slide would be used somehow in this episode.
Wussy bump on the landing though. Webby and Doofus are at the helicopter car as Webby calls out for Scrooge. Scrooge runs into the car and wants Doofus to step on the gas. Doofus corrects him since they use dilithium crystals now. I wonder if that is the future of batteries? Scrooge blows him off on that and the helicopter car rises up as Webby asks him what he is going to do now. Scrooge ponders if he can find a way to get back to his past as the black ship chases them. Webby wants them to take them with him as the Black Car shoots and it causes the helicopter car's paint to turn blue and then turn yellow instead of it's cheesy orange. How about that?! More shooting and it's on the tail section as it goes into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHA!) and a puff of smoke. We go to the cockpit as Magica demands Scrooge give back his lucky. UH OH! Remember the nephews don't KNOW that is Scrooge? See if Scrooge had revealed himself earlier; the nephews might have considered what they did earlier. Louie is piloting of course as Huey asks if she said Scrooge. Don't answer him Magica....
Louie wonders how he disappeared 40 years ago and Magica reveals the time sands to force the point. More shooting from outside as Magica proclaims that she is going to use it again to make him disappear for good this time. Sadly; Disney Caption missed one key word that would have made the sentence make sense. Huey and Dewey finally turn on Magica (I see Kit is taking notes as we speak) and takes the controls from her. Of course she cannot do that to their Uncle Scrooge. See; they were sad heels all along. The black ship goes into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHA!) as Magica orders her goons to let go. Sorry Magica; it isn't going to happen. Of course the laser fire on the helicopter car puts them into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHA!) as Launchpad decides to overtake Doofus. Why? Because he's the crash expert see. Both ships dive and crash with MAN-SIZED bumps onto the ground as the black ship crashes into a tree. Launchpad calls this like old times. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.
Magica pops out of the black ship (I guess the nephews died or got killed by Magica when it crashed) as Scrooge jumps out and runs stage right. Scrooge puts the dime in his suit (now his old suit which is logic break #2 for the episode as I missed the changeover from the green suit.). Scrooge wants the time sands; but Magica no sells until she gets the lucky dime back. So the hourglass breaks in two and Scrooge has the sands to himself. Scrooge chants the spell and of course he confuses roam with Rome as he poofs into Ancient Rome as a barefoot berserk warrior (wearing leather armor, steel sword, steel mask and an iron shield). Magica of course is with him as she steals the sand and calls him a fool. HAHA! Magica throws the second half of her sand and of course she confuses night with knight and they poof into the middle of a jousting match between two knights in iron armor and horses galloping. Ah; this must be Dumbwin's School for Lazybone Knights. The one Tuxford enrolled in. AHHAHAHAHAHA! STAB! UGH! Ummmm... No worries it's only a flesh wound. (Three hours later...)Okay; I'm back fully patched up.
Magica and Scrooge run stage right as Scrooge throws more sand into themselves and confuses Lemonade Stand with Custer's Last Stand as they are in the desert as Scrooge gets an arrow in his top hat for his trouble as we cut over to a stampede of horses rode by native American lead by Sitting Bull. No witty joke needed on that one. They are sitting ducks as Magica blows off Scrooge for that one and they bail stage left. Magica uses her sands to fly her away and they now appear inside an airplane filled with mostly rich pigs and dogspeople. Scrooge and Magica go towards the window and they are inside the famous Zeppelburger blimp. And the blimp is going to blow up at any minute. Wow; I didn't think they would go to this level of insanity. Magica goes to her half and there is no more sand left as she pleads for Scrooge to help her begging for mercy as she has the dime now. Huh? That makes no sense since it was inside Scrooge's suit. Scrooge offers her life in exchange for the lucky dime and Magica refuses because she stole it fair and square. Scrooge blows her off as the dime is useless if the blimp blows up with her and not with him. Magica is seriously screwed now as she throws the dime to him and proclaims that they need to get out this lemon as he throws sand on them and we go into a puff of smoke.
So we logically lead to the lemonade stand the nephews set up and the customers are hating the new lemonade as one kid (most of them are pigs I do believe) demonstrates with his overselling (Brian Cummings). He throws the glass into the street and it ruins Magica's dress. HAHA! Magica is pissed off and demands the dime to clean her dress and Scrooge pulls away because they had a deal. Magica proclaims that the deal is off now. Magica then decides to use the thunder smoke and she disappears away. Huh?! I guess she decided to return to her cave to figure out a better plan. After all; Scrooge might have used the sands to send her back to the Zeppelburger blimp. Scrooge enters and wonders what is going on as the pig kid proclaims that he has tasted water better than this lemonade as Louie blows his cover that it is only water. Doofus arrives with the purple sack as he calls it their tax. Louie called it a great idea too. Memo to Scrooge: CONTENT AND VALUES~!
Scrooge demands answers on where they got these bad business practices from. Scrooge basically yells at them for cheating people and that is no bargin as the nephews have no choice but to give the kids their money back. About time Scrooge realized that it's CONTENT AND VALUES are king. Not CUT AND STEAL! Scrooge then orders them never to do business with Magica Despell as Webby appears out of nowhere. Dewey is confused but accepts the offer as Scrooge tells Doofus to take care of Webby and invite Scrooge to the wedding as Scrooge walks away petting Webby. Webby then blows the whole concept off. HAHA! Scrooge goes towards the gate as the nephews ask where he's going and Scrooge proclaims it's to take a nap. He feels like he aged 40 years today as he winks to the camera and we circle fade out to end the episode at 21:16. Not as good as Time & Punishment; but it was really fun. Still; no matter how much Webby hates it; I think Doofus and Webby are in the cards for marriage; do you not think? And I still think the nephews will be greedy anyway; they just won't cheat in THE FUTURE~! Still; a few logic breaks prevented a perfect episode. **** ½ (95%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Our first episode is in the books and it was near perfect time traveling episode that shows the bad consequences of telling little kids to cut costs and corners without telling them not to cheat on customers. Of course; the main storyline was Scrooge being such an airhead to not realize that Magica was screwing him into a future that was bleak and make him stuck in it as a way to successfully steal the lucky dime. Although; I found getting the dime back pointless since if they came back; Magica would still not have the dime. I guess Magica went to the future herself; but it wasn't explained. Probably the only real logic break in the episode as I really like the thought of Doofus and Webby getting married and the nephews acting like little sad heels. It's not like they aren't the sneaky type of character as they were in the shorts.
Russi Taylor's operator voices cracked me up as always and old Launchpad is like original Launchpad only older and slower. I also like the importance of content and values being important to making and keeping customers. It would be utter madness to make people buy your product and steal from them only to make a crappy product. If only Microsoft would watch this episode and realize that. It's funny how Nintendo has figured this out and made profits while still making a really good product and resisted screwing customers and users over (unless you are Mr. Hardcore; allegedly.). I know a lot of people talk about the inflation episode being so important; but THIS episode is a lot more compelling for finance guys. Because the best businesses in the world made profits, they made customers and they kept them. No ors or buts. You need all three to reach that point. This is something missing from our businesses and it's the reason why people denounce capitalism. Okay; I have said enough commentary; I say this is a great episode marred by a few logic breaks and a few coloring mistakes from Wang Films. So next up is Jungle Duck which should be a downer of an episode. So....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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