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Launchpad's First Crash
At least in theory....
Well; happy Thanksgiving everyone and what better way to celebrate than with a special holiday rant where I give thanks to good old Launchpad for continuing to wreck his body and as many planes as Scrooge thinks he can stand before it becomes a losing venture. So we have a story about the very first crash for Launchpad McQuack. Well; at least in theory since I betcha Launchpad has a lot less brain cells now than he had for the first plane crash. So how does this crash..I mean story hold up? Let's rant on and find out shall we....?!
This episode is written by Michael Keyes and Anthony Adams. The story is edited by Tedd Anasti and Patsy Cameron.
We begin this one in the desert complete with lots of CACTUS JACKS OF DOOM and we pan up to see the white plane as Launchpad is flying it (duh); informing Scrooge that they will reach the copper mine before AFTER HAPPY HOUR (dark). We then cut to the cockpit as Scrooge is worried stiff because there are explosives (!!!) in the plane. Man; if there is one episode that is just begging to be black balled after 9/11; this one is it. It's nerve wrecking and dangerous; but he did get a great price on them. LP now understands why air freight companies turned down this shipment. Scrooge is counting on LP and LP agrees with him because blowing up is his gimmick. HAHA! Scrooge wants LP to take this one slow and easy. And then there is a thunderstorm as it starts to rain. LP is surprised by this and then makes the fatal error of going below it much to Scrooge's disdain and the plane cannot pull up as the lightning MURDERS the left props on the jet plane and takes a nose dive. Scrooge proclaims that he cannot see anything and LP blows him off nicely because it's the desert and they can land anywhere. Sadly; LP sees some mountain peaks with landing strips on it which are conveniently placed for LP to bounce on them and allow the plane to crash with a MAN-SIZED bump into the rock face on the left side of a canyon. Nice to see this desert was on the ball here eh? Scrooge and LP get out as the door gets ripped off it's hinges on the left side; but the TNT is perfectly fine and probably useless now.
So we go to the scene changer as we see Scrooge and Launchpad shivering under one of the wings wedged against a rock near a small campfire. LP then goes to this crashing book (check the air wing symbol on the front of the blue book) and proclaims that this is their 100th crash together. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Considering that LP probably lost a lot of brain cells in the process; I would say that is in theory. Scrooge blows it off because if the lightning hits the explosives; it will be the last crash together. Question: Dead or Fired? We get a pan shot with the lightning crashing near the explosives near the plane; but no incident happens. So LP brings out his harmonica to play it (I see why Alvin didn't have one in the Ruby Spears version of Alvin & The Chipmunks then. Dave Seville sold it to HIM.) and Scrooge orders him to stop because it's torture. I think Kit Cloudkicker would have something to say about torture Mr. McD. (tickling, fingers against the chalkboard, the WRAITH OF BECKEY...POW! POW! OUCH! Hey! Ummm....) LP asks him to remember the first time he said those words to him. Scrooge asks how he could forget and I smell....
...THE FLASHBACK OF DOOM~! So we head to Launchpad's hanger (which is not painted this time; but no logic break since it took place long before Magica's Magic Mirror) as we see Scrooge go into the hanger. Inside we see a young Launchpad (same voice as the original Launchpad; only young Scrooge and older Huey, Dewey and Louie had a different voice in the series. And in Young Scrooge's case, it's a voice a lot of TaleSpin fans should remember.) painting his plane. Young LP has the same voice mannerisms; only younger by the way. They greet each other as LP can fly him anywhere. It's ten cents a mile and the takeoff and landing are free. Now THAT is good value methinks. The plane in question is called the Sun Chaser. It's sad that Jymn Magon never considered making Launchpad a cameo in TaleSpin for Baloo's rival. And no disrespect to Ace London; but Launchpad is still funnier than he is. And more familiar to DTVA fans. And of course he is not painting the plane; he's gluing the plane parts together as the left wings drop dead onto the floor with a cute bump. HAHA! As soon as the glue dries indeed.
Man; the Sun Chaser looks like a big ass model airplane. I wonder if Launchpad had a hobby and it just went out of control now? Launchpad and Scrooge shake hands and of course LP shakes with the glue brush with Scrooge not looking. HAHA! See; Scrooge is looking for a pilot with nerves of steel. Well; I think LP qualifies as one. You have to in order to crash planes like that. And naturally Scrooge cannot get the glue brush off his hand as LP asks who he looks like. HAHA! Scrooge wants LP to have the nerve to fly him to the Thick Of It Forest. And people accuse TaleSpin of such puns?! Scrooge gets popped out of the glue brush and takes a really wussy bump into the props off-screen (UGH!) and then he blows Launchpad off for not being even ten cents a dance and walks out. Launchpad pleads with him cutting the price down to one cent a mile as he is in front of the door and Scrooge reconsiders the hard bargain and Scrooge agrees to the terms (I think) and they shake hands as this is Launchpad's first job. HAHA! And as we see LP wasn't the only one who lost some brain cells in the deal. Launchpad then takes out the golden harmonica and plays it to torment Scrooge for the first time. HAHA!
So we logically go to the thick forest (which is your average forest area with a river) as the Sun Chaser barely flies into the air. We zoom and pan over to the right as Scrooge explains that the Lost City of Diamonds is at the floor of the crater as we see a volcano in the distance shot. We then cut to the close up side shot as Launchpad is flying the Sun Chaser while Scrooge is holding the map. Sorry Dora fans; this map doesn't scream like an idiot. And it doesn't have much detail either judging by the red X being the only thing on it. Launchpad proclaims that he might be able to land next to the big hole. Scrooge should take this as a bad sign right off the bat. Launchpad flies a hyperbole over the volcano to take a closer look as the volcano contains a smaller hole. Then Launchpad tries to pull up; but the DA...HOLE sucks them in like a vacuum cleaner. Now this episode really sucks. HAHA!
Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Shaun Desmond.
Launchpad does a loop-de-loop for only 15 cents and it forced into DA...HOLE (god bless Baby Plucky!) as there is screaming and Scrooge demanding answers to this outrage. They go through the hole some more as Scrooge loses his top hat and then flies out of his seat on the left side of the wing yelling out for LP. See; this is why you must obey DORA'S LAW...So then Scrooge would be safe see. LP tells him not to worry (HA!) and Scrooge threatens to fire him if he's not saved. So LP does a 180 degree spin upside down and Scrooge uses his cane to grab the stick and get back into his seat. Okay; that looks a wee bit contrived for my liking there folks. And there is a control stick in the back seat? So we go to the front shot of the Sun Chaser going into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHA!) as Scrooge uses his cane again to get his top hat. Launchpad then sees it getting warm. We know this because there are golden sun like currents pieces being shown here. They dive down as LP hears drums and Scrooge proclaims that they are doomed...DOOMED I SAY since they are nearing the Earth's molten core. Ummm; you can say dead on this show Mr. McD. This isn't 4Kids Entertainment.
Launchpad proclaims that it's Passeroonie. I see who has been influencing the nephews all this time with their Quackeroonie nonsense. They fly out into the central part of the volcano as LP proclaims that there is one thing they can do and that is to hang a left and that's exactly what he does as he flies into another large cave to the southwest to waste more time. They fly out of the cave into the clouds as Scrooge blows off Launchpad as an airhead for the first time. At least in theory. We then see a jungle complete with a lake that is boiling due to the high amount of heat. If the lake is 100*F then the whole jungle must be at least 150*F which means that the mallards should be roasting by now. Of course logic is not a cartoon writer's strong suit so we'll move on. The plane manages to crash land next to the lake as we see some dogperson natives (second time with natives no less) losing it's wheels in the process and then bouncing with wussy bumps onto the ground before stopping.
Scrooge and Launchpad get out as that is LP's first crash, and a disappointing one to say the least. LP calls it a beauty and it's clear that he lost some brain cells on THAT one. Then the shadow beckons as we see a blond fat native wearing fur skin shorts, fur skin bra with pink stars on the breasts (4Kids would paint those stars out by the way) and fur boots. In fact all the females are like that only in different colors. The blond one looks like a deranged Hoppo. Scrooge calls them fierce female warriors. NO?! REALLY?! The blond warrior speaks gibberish as Launchpad blows her off because he's McQuack and a pilot. Well; at least he still remembers his name and title; sort of. He asks for ten cents a mile and his wrist is grabbed by Grunta as Scrooge is forced to join him by the other warrior to see Queen Oofa (Chris Barat has her as Queen Pupa. Personally; Queen Oofa makes more sense here since Pupa sounds more like a bee warrior.).
Grunta is voiced by the late Linda Gary (passed away in 1995 due to brain cancer) and started in 1971 with the Daughter of Frankenstein movie; followed by Joyride to Nowhere in 1977. She then went into voice acting almost right away after this with a few movies on the side like Cruising, Switch, Father Frost and a few Land Before Time OAV's. Her main voice routines were in Spiderman as Aunt May Parker (including as her final credit in Spiderman 1995 edition), Blackstar as Maria, He-Man and She-Ra (Teela, Glimmer, and various female roles), Various ABC Weekend Specials including the Velveteen Rabbit and The Magic Flute; and Batman: The Animated Series as Dr. Nora Crest. This is her DTVA debut; but far from her only appearance in DTVA; or in Ducktales for that matter as she'll appear in at least two more episodes after this one, she was the Spinster in Gummi Bears, Principal Fransworth in Darkwing Duck, Muffy Vandersheme in TaleSpin, Helga in Bonkers, and made a cameo in The Little Mermaid Animated Series. So we logically go to....
The tree villlage as we see some kids on the far shot chasing each other as we cut to inside a small throne room as we see Queen Oofa (Joan Gerber) getting confused on the question of men being in the area. Now I'm starting to understand where that moonbat Leonard Shalain got his book The Alphabet Vs. The Goddess ideas from. Thank you Ed Brayton for that one including revealing that there is an iPhone application out there that can make your phone fart. Seriously. And Ed said it with a straight face too. Now do you understand why Nintendo doesn't allow every Dick, Jane, Harry and Spot to develop on their systems and make money off of it? Oh and Queen Oofa is wearing the same outfit as the other warriors; only more Wii'ish and without the bra and plus the bronze gloves and crown. Launchpad tries to show that he is a man; but it doesn't work. I cannot take Launchpad seriously as a male. Oofa then gets it as they are babootas (Chris Barat has it as Babutas by the way) and they had run away see and they are all gone. And instead of getting run out of town; Scrooge and LP get the heroes welcome and exit stage left. I guess they aren't Super Feminists after all; they are just misunderstood. They get slammed into wooden chairs and then get Macho King's throne spot as they are carried out of the throne room. Okay; that was kind of pointless. So we head outside as various female warrior tribes-people are trumping with shell horns and chanting Babootas over and over. We then pan over to see the line of female warriors carry Scrooge and Launchpad in chairs as LP proclaims that they are going to be made kings. HAHA! If only Launchpad; if only. Scrooge blows him off because they need to get back to the plane.
So we logically go to the boiling lake as the airplane is sitting down and somehow has it's wheels back. How about that?! I smell logic break #1 for the episode right there as we pan left to see Scrooge and Launchpad sitting in their chairs near the lake as Scrooge whisper yells to Launchpad (well; it was going to happen at some point.) asking him if he can fix the plane so they can get out of here. LP is magically wearing pink flowers like he's in a aloha from Hawaii for logic break #2 for the episode as he asks what's the hurry as the female warriors dance around them in a circle. They then bail stage left and of course this is just a real setup to MURDER the babootas as Launchpad blows Scrooge's worries off because if they were going to kill them they would have done it honestly by now. Scrooge hopes he's right; but he's wrong as the GIANT ENEMY CRAB OF DOOM rises from the boiling lake. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How sad is Sony's E3 2006 showing when they had to have to resort to using a monster from a Disney cartoon (and a one shot episode at that?!). If LP and Scrooge manage to turn him over and hit his weak point for massive damage then Disney has a basis for a lawsuit right there. The Giant Enemy Crab grabs the chairs and Scrooge panics. No really. I'm as shocked as you are.
They are doomed, DOOMED I SAY and then the female warriors come back and throw their spears at the crab off-screen which kills it (I think). So much for the possible lawsuit there. So we logically return to the village as Grunta and the female warriors are eating crab from the shells on the table. We then pan over and see Scrooge and Launchpad at the river washing dishes. HAHA! Scrooge blows Launchpad off because baboota really means crab bait. BWHAHAHAHA! Sounds like Sony PlayStation 3 to me guys. And Launchpad is a beanbag now. I think beanpole is more accurate for LP Scroogie; considering LP's size. LP calls it being a slave and the reason the men ran away. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Scrooge then blames Launchpad for all this naturally because as a paranoid businessman; it's NEVER the businessman's fault see. No wonder people hate capitalism now. Launchpad gleefully blows him off because Scrooge missed a spot complete with Gruffi pose. HAHA! Scrooge shatters a dish on the floor and then has that look of being seriously screwed there.
So we go to the scene changer as Launchpad and Scrooge are sweeping the grounds of the village. Grunta then runs in with her pink pearls praising them for good sweeping and good dish washing. She puts them around Scrooge's neck and Scrooge thanks her for being too kind. I think. Launchpad gets one for his troubles and then Grunta drags them stage left by the necklaces as we logically go to...The rock prison as Scrooge is holding onto the cell bars as he is fed up which Launchpad takes it as eating too much. HAHA! Scrooge blows him off because he doesn't want to be a cook even though he is good as one; so claims LP. I have to take that one with a grain of salt there LP. Scrooge then takes his beads (because he hates being a maid and throws them onto the ground breaking the glass coating to reveal diamonds. Launchpad blows him off for breaking such fine jewelry because Grunta's feelings are going to be hurt as Scrooge takes the glass lens and it reveals on the close shot; diamonds. Launchpad wants to polish then later because he's bushed. Scrooge then uses the necklace as a hacksaw because diamonds are the hardest substance on Earth and can cut through metal like hot butter. Sadly; the animation fails to show that at all which is logic break #3 for the episode. Launchpad calls him a genius and uses his necklace to cut the left side of the bars.
So we go to the scene changer and we go to a ground village shot as we see Scrooge and Launchpad running away from the village. Man; for a bunch of smart female warriors; they have piss poor security measures. We do see Grunta on top of the tree house lookout and proclaims that the Baboota have escaped and they are running. NO?! REALLY?! She blows the golden shell horn of doom as we go to another scene changer and see Scrooge and Launchpad arrive at the plane which so happens to have the wheels AWAY from the plane this time around. Can the animators keep this logic straight here?! The female wrarrior chant Baboota over and over again as Launchpad tells Scrooge to push the Sun Chaser into the lake since it will float. Scrooge sells and they go into the lake with the Sun Chaser making sure to sell the screams; but somehow; not move like crazy when they push the plane into the boiling lake. Bad, bad form there guys.
Scrooge and Launchpad finally get onto the Sun Chaser; but so does Grunta in a brilliant leap of faith. She growls as she crawls forward with the spear in her teeth on the close front shot. Scrooge pleads with her to back off and try to remember then as good babootas. Sorry Scroogie; she's not THAT dumb to fall for it. Grunta no sells; but then out pops the EVIL HENTAI OCTOPUS OF DOOM. Ah; just in time for some G-rated porn scenes I see. It grabs the plane as we get a really good animated sequence and Scrooge gets the POWER OF HENTAI and Scrooge proclaims that they are doomed. Well; that is true since tentacle rape is DEADLY BABEE! Launchpad gets it too and gets dumped into the water like a bobbing apple as Launchpad seems to be having bad flashbacks to his childhood. Launchpad gets forced down as apparently they have stop selling the fact that the lake is BOILING HOT~! I guess that's the POWER OF HENTAI. That ends the segment 10 and a half minutes in....
After the commercial break; we cut to the plane as Grunta continues to whack on the evil porn worshiping octopus while Scrooge seems to be getting choked out by the same octopus. Then Launchpad gets dumped in the back seat after a good ducking in the boiling lake as Scrooge wants Launchpad to do something. I thought Scrooge had it with LP? Never mind as Launchpad calls the octopus a bubble head (lame) and throws the diamond candy right into the mouth of the porn worshiping octopus. He groans as those candies must be MURDERING him as we speak. And wing-nuts wept tears of joy. He sinks to the bottom as Scrooge grabs his hat back from one of the tentacles and Launchpad proclaims that diamonds had to be hard to chew and swallow. Scrooge thanks him for that one as now they have to deal with just Grunta now (as Scrooge helpfully points out) as Grunta proclaims that they will pay and of course the punishment is that the lake now doubles as a waterfall (logic break #4 for the episode; since there was no sign of a waterfall on the earlier shots) and we get the rapid river ride as Grunta goes to the left wing and uses her spear to keep the plane from touching the rocks. Launchpad wonders what katoo means. And of course they go down the waterfall as the plane suddenly is too light and LP holds onto the tail fin and the plane suddenly takes off does a loop-de-loop for only 15 cents allowing Scrooge to fly out of his seat and into the front seat taking a face plant in the process. Launchpad uses the tail section fins to steer as we fly across the place for a while and than Launchpad allows it to land with a few wussy bumps near a cave. And it doesn't crash into anything as they are inside the scary cave of doom now. Launchpad dusts himself off as he took more bumps than the plane did.
Then we cut to a hole in the cave as we see male dogspeople (who look like midgets) in furry shorts; pink sea shells with white gloves and golden earrings. They jump onto the plane and shut Scrooge's beak in the front seat as he tells them to be quiet because they are Babootas see. Grunta sees one of them and basically kidnaps the dark skinned brown hair one (I'm guessing Frank Welker) as he blows her off because they are free now. And they must be very quiet as Launchpad asks why they are whisper yelling. The leader (I guess) explains that their great enemies are awakened by loud woogas. In other words; noises. In other words; giant ass bats. We pan up and damn; I'm good. Launchpad gets it as loud mouths as they walk into the cave for a while as Scrooge proclaims that they might be a friend of theirs and so they yell and scream as the midget cavemen bail like scalded dogs into tiny caves and the giant white bats with red eyes wake up and swoop all over LP, Scrooge and Grunta. Geez; how stupid can you get? This make the female warrior look a lot less dense now. And it was probably intended that way by the writers.
The goofs with attitude bail stage left as the bats continue to assault our heroes and then Scrooge tells Launchpad to bring out his harmonica as Launchpad blows that off and Scrooge orders him to play the highest, loudest notes he can as Disney Captions screws up the dialog from Scrooge here. Launchpad goes to his yellow scarf and uncorks his golden harmonica as the bats hear the sound and get so confused that they all have a meeting of the minds with each other. And it wasn't with Batman. AHHAHAHAHAHA! One bumps into a wall as Scrooge points out the obvious to me although having built in radar system sounds a little too robotic for my liking. Sadly one of them drops dead and it heading straight for the goofs. Everyone bails (with Scrooge barely so) as the giant bat takes a sick MAN-SIZED bump into the wall and nearly causes a hole (that was already there before the bat made contact). Launchpad looks through DA...HOLE and sees a bigger cavern as Scrooge and Grunta are having a bonding moment I'm sure he didn't need or want. Scrooge orders everyone through the hole because more giant ass bats are swooping down now. Grunta throws Scrooge into the hole and Launchpad offers Grunta to go first; but Grunta grabs him and turns him into a spear and throws him into the hole. Grunta then tries to go through DA...HOLE; but she's just TOO FAT! Launchpad and Scrooge struggle a lot to pull Grunta through; but they manage to pop her out and they all take wussy bumps onto the ground. The harmonica bumps better than they do as Scrooge proclaims that the bat were the guardians of the Lost City of Diamonds. And they are piss poor guardians at that. Grunta grabs the harmonica and gives it to Launchpad and praises his music. Aw; how sweet of her.
So we cut to a dead end as Scrooge looks around and checks the wall as he is SHOCKED because it's not made of glass; it's made of diamond as he cheers for victory as he has found the Lost City of Diamonds. We then cut over and we see a city made of diamonds and overflowing of diamonds. Launchpad then gleefully states the obvious of the status of the city now. HAHA! Scrooge and company climb the stairs and then Scrooge dives into the diamonds and crowns and swims in them. I wonder if you can get serious cuts and injuries doing that; considering how hard diamonds are supposed to be? Scrooge pops up (with crowns and jewelry) and calls this a dream come true as Launchpad asks if that means wearing jewelry. HAHA! Scrooge blows him off on that one because he is now the richest duck in the world. I thought he already WAS?! Oh wait; this is a long time ago; never mind. He does some more diamond juggling which is weird since he couldn't do it to save his life in Jungle Duck. We then pan up and we see more giant ass white bats as they snooze (what a shock?) and LP wants to leave now. Scrooge agrees that they will as long as they take one of the diamonds and it so happens to be stuck in one of the wall.
Now you would think that he would take a few loose diamonds from the pile; but again, making him REALLY STUPID is the only way to make the plot more interesting. It also makes it contrived too as Scrooge takes a hammer while LP has his harmonica on retainer just in case. Scrooge grabs the stuck diamond and of course the walls start to crumble and the whole cave starts crumbling with it (note the cracks into the cave wall and ceiling). Like I said; how contrived can you get? The bats wake up and screech like mad and the goofs are forced to run stage left as they yell to Launchpad to run; but Launchpad drops his harmonica and it falls into the wave of diamonds as he stops to search for it. Grunta and Scrooge stop and she yells at LP to run as Scrooge yells to LP that the ceiling is going to collapse. LP grabs the harmonica on the rebound as we see the ceiling spike drop down and nail the diamond wave as LP runs away stage left. The diamond wave overtakes LP on the steps and he back flips onto the spike and uses it as a surfboard. It's SURFING IN THE DIAMOND CAVE~! The waves crash and swamp all including the goofs with attitude as we get a shot of the hole in the cave as the diamonds settle down completely into a diamond lake near the hole and that ends the segment nearly 16 and a half minutes in. This episode was going so well; until Scrooge and Launchpad decided to act stupid.
After the commercial break; we get a shot of the destroyed diamond city sparkling as Scrooge and Grunta pop up from the carnage. Scrooge places the diamond into his suit and we get a pan shot as Grunta and Scrooge yell out for Launchpad. Grunta helps Scrooge up as there is no response from LP and Scrooge sulks that Launchpad has died in a sea of diamonds. And of course the diamonds turn greedy on him as he confuses it with the weight in gold. He better hope LP didn't hear that one; or he was too dense. The white bats swoop down and they are really PISSED off. Scrooge and Grunta try to run; but the giant ass white bat grab them by their shoulders and fly away with them as the goofs with attitude scream for help. And so we fade to black since post production glitches turn Michael Eisner on see. We return at the other side of DA...HOLE as the cave breaks and the diamonds spill as Launchpad pops out grumbling. Then the midget leader tells him to be quiet as his midget army points their spears at him and tell him that they will feed him to the bats for waking them up.
I'm glad there is some honesty in these barbarians even though they are little better than the big woman warriors. And speaking of them; Queen Oopa and her troops run and she wants to seize them. I guess all of them as the baboota shh's them as well. We get a pan up to force the point as Queen Oopa grabs him and he pops out and blows them off because they are liberated see. Launchpad blows both of them off as he just wants to save Scrooge and Grunta from the bats. I see Launchpad has a good deduction meter. Sadly; it's funnier when his is broken. Queen Oopa gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY on that one as the chief decides that it would be in their best interest to save Grunta and LP wants them to work together as they all chant Save Grunta in front of him. And naturally they start arguing on who should follow them first. This gender harmony is going to take a lot of time I see; which is something we nor LP have at this point. Launchpad then blows them off and goes to the diamonds and orders them to follow him. Okay; this could work out. It's no worse than having Scrooge do it.
Speaking of the greedy blood diamond grabber; we cut to Scrooge and Grunta on a small pillar above the walls where they cannot climb anywhere as the bats continue their slumber and guarding. Grunta proclaims that they will wake up and feast soon as Scrooge continues to sulk over his greed; and then the rope plops down near him and he looks up to see Launchpad on the edge still alive. And Scrooge makes noise as usual on cue as Launchpad slides down the rope onto the pillar and orders him to be quiet. I think Scrooge will get the message this time around. LP throws the rope down further and climbs down as Grunta calls him great slave. This is one real comment that shouldn't be a real comment; but it is. Good rib on Scrooge as LP slides down and has to bump back as he wraps his ankle around the rope again like an idiot and nearly blows his cover. LP does a see no evil promo and nothing happens. Yet. The bat yawns and goes back to sleep as Launchpad untangles his leg and slides down to the floor along with Grunta.
Launchpad tells Mr. McD to hurry up as Scrooge slides down on the far shot and somehow the diamond falls out of his suit and drops down. Oh; that wasn't contrived in the very least, no siree. It makes the smallest amount of noise possible and of course the bats wake up. Geez; talk about light sleepers there. At least this wasn't LP's fault; but I'm sure Scrooge will find some excuse to blame him for it. The bat swoop down and annoy the goofs with attitude as Scrooge slides down the rope and LP forget what to yell to summon the horns. He also swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE too (rats!). Scrooge asks what he means by blowing the horns? Well; it's not a sex act Scroogie; so that option is out. There's really only two options after that one. So Launchpad yells at them to blow the horns and we cut to the woman warriors near the diamonds as they blow their golden sea shell horns in front of the midgets. I think that is the first time they understood English that wasn't broken. There is hope for these people. Or maybe not. The bats screech away through the cave stage left without any further incident.
So we return to the front of the cave as LP and Scrooge are on the plane and it's completely fixed to boot. How about that?! Grunta arrives with the harmonica and climbs up to give it to Launchpad. LP thanks her as Scrooge's backseat is filled with diamonds. That takes some whizzing. AHHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummm... Nice backhand there Mr. McD. We then get a far shot of the midget males and big females all together like one large family ready to share the land. This is not going to last; I just know it. They even get to share the duties of being crab bait; how sweet. NOT! Scrooge asks Launchpad to fly away (while doing some weak bonking on LP's head with the cane) before they ask them to stay for dinner of course. Everyone waves goodbye as the plane flies away into the sky. Ummm; not yet as the Sun Chaser is not way too heavy and they have to dump some weight and if you don't know what gets dumped before they reach the sky; you have no business reading this rant. Scrooge does make an effort not to throw his treasure; but it's not going to work here. Scrooge gets diamond eyes as LP proclaims that they will be trapped the rest of their lives and Scrooge grabs onto LP and tries to throw HIM out of the plane. HAHA! Sorry Scrooge; LP is too light to do that.
The diamonds have to go of course (because LP has to fly the plane see) and Scrooge dives to the back seat and throws the diamonds out while treating them like human beings. And everything gets dumped including the jewelry Scrooge was wearing as the plane managed to hyperbole over the rocks and into the sky easily. LP has got to build a better plane in the future if this relationship is going to continue. The natives wave as the plane flies around for a while. The plane goes through the clouds and into the center of the core as Launchpad hangs a right and now Scrooge is worried since he's making sense. Even more so since they are flying near THE CENTER OF THE EARTH. Thought I miss that break now didn't I? We go through the hole as we get an FPS shot of Launchpad flying as the volcano erupts and the lava wave starts pouring on them. It's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE LAVA WAVE EDITION~! At least this one makes a lot more sense than the one in Dances With Bigfoot. They fly right out of the volcano just in time as they are now in China or Hong Kong. I cannot tell anymore. The volcano erupts of course as LP proclaims that they made it. Scrooge then takes the last diamond out of his suit and proclaims that he can make a profit off of it as a result. HAHA! He laughs as the plane goes stage right into the sky blue.
So we cut to the bank (I think) as we head inside as the female reporter from Golden Suns #1 (with Joan Gerber as the voice instead of Russi Taylor. Must have had a conflict of voice recording there.) shows off the demonstration of the Sun Chaser on display. I see she's wearing all blue this time around as the public is in awe because they are not just adventurers they are....heroes as Launchpad would say. She even has blue Mickey Mouse Gloves and purple heels on (which is a major sight to behold along with the violet purse. Who said anthros don't change their clothes in these cartoons?) and she isn't amused by the boast by LP as she proclaims that the Sun Chaser is the first plane to fly through the Earth. And logic and reason wept tears of sorrow on this day. Scrooge admits that they make a good team as he and Launchpad walk to in front of the Sun Chaser as LP gets off the funny pun of the day and the cameras go off. Sadly; the flashback ends right there as we return to the plane as Scrooge and LP are at the left side of the plane near the canyon now as the weather has turned sunny.
Scrooge admits that it was a penny a mile and still worth it in the end. After all; LP does the impossible and I have to concur with him. Flying through the Earth is pretty impossible to me. Sadly; they panic again because the TNT starts to explode as the sun is setting off the explosives. HAHA! They went from bad to worse. They now need the rain to come back since the lightning was less accurate than the sun. See; warm light does cause more problems than harsh storms. They grab the left strut of the plane because LP and Scrooge are going to do the impossible again. Scrooge doesn't like it; but time is not on his side as they grab the handles of the wing and start jumping off the cliff. The wing floats into the air as we have a makeshift hand glider as Scrooge wonder what he would do without him. Probably go less insane; but then Scrooge as being insane is funny; so screw him. LP hugs Scrooge and that is the fatal error as Scrooge protests but it's too late as the glider freef alls down and takes some MAN-SIZED bumps into the CACTUS JACKS OF DOOM. HAHA! I just knew they would get involved somehow. LP calls that one #101; at least in theory. Scrooge groans on that one as he pulls a needle from his suit and we circle fade out to end the episode at 21:12. Okay episode; but the logic breaks were too great and I couldn't buy Scrooge being this stupid. Fun while it lasted though. *** ½ (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Oh man; this episode was a big disappointment for me as a lot of it made no sense (flying through the center of Earth being one of them) and seeing Scrooge act stupid and in such a contrived matter; that it seemed that it was put there to pad the time. Wang Film's animating was fine; I just question the writers on what they were thinking in writing this. The cave warriors were pretty much nothing and the whole man Vs. woman thing just seemed put there just to suck. Grunta was the only one that seem to have any chemistry with LP and it was screwed over by Scrooge's lack of brain. Overall; it was basically Launchpad carrying this episode kicking and screaming with his funny stuff because if it wasn't for him; this is an easy thumbs down. In other words; a middling episode and a disappointing one at that because I felt that this would be an LP focused classic. Great ending too though. So; next up is Dime Enough For Luck featuring the debut of Gladstone Gander. Oh goody. So......
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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