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The Status Seekers

Reviewed: 10/25/2009

I'm Seeking The Status of Master Ranter!

So we continue on with another Carl Barks written story and it's all about your status. Which is just another word for popularity; only in the rich man's context. Raoul must be popping a gasket over this one. So let's rant on shall we...?!

This episode is written by Carl Barks (!!!). The story is consulted by Tedd Anasti and Pasty Cameron and the story editing plus teleplay is edited by Jymn Magon. That's two for Carl thus far.

We begin this one with a shot of the money bin from the western side in the morning which looks like it happened after a big rain storm. Okay; that is pretty different. We pan over to the front lawn on the hill as Scrooge is doing the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM (I can just see Drake Mallard taking notes as we speak; even though Scrooge's version of it at least has some context in that he's playing around) as he is the snapper of the football and we see the nephews with helmets (color coordinated I might add) and football shirts. Strangely; no pants; nor pads to protect them. It's fourth down and goal to go and the spectators are hushed with anticipation. Well; there are no spectators to begin with; but this is role playing so I'll play along. We cut to Mrs. Beakly lying on the blanket with her arm on the BASKET OF YOGIS with her pom-poms looking quite bored. HAHA! I think she said it all about Drake's promo cutting. At times; I know it puts me to sleep. The gab is so boring even Dewey blows him off for it and wants the darn ball hiked already (his words, not mine). Scrooge agrees to soon as the elephant leaves. Yeah; I'm as confused as you are. The nephews turn around and Scrooge hikes the ball to Huey and we go long for the old Hail Mary Pass of Death which only works about 1% of the time in these last second situations; but when it does it is awesome.

Scrooge easily goes through the defense as Dewey and Louie call it unfair. Yeah right?! If you were stupid enough to fall for an obvious trick like that; then you deserve to lose in terrible fashion. I see the mud is clearing up faster than I speak as Mrs. Beakly suddenly wakes up and is on the pom-poms cheering for Mr. McD. Mrs. Beakly clearly does not know anything about football as it's the end zone he's going; not home plate. Figures knowing her stereotypical mannerisms. Scrooge goes down the hill and Huey throws and Scrooge catches it easily; but the MUD PUDDLE OF DOOM trips him up and he falls flat on his face in a neat bump. HAHA! He fumbles the ball; and it somehow goes into the passing black limo on the left side into the window. How about that?! Considering how weird footballs bounce; I'm not going to call that a logic break. A woman gasps in horror (I guessing Joan Gerber here since she sounds like a snobbish Mrs. Beakly) and orders Vincent to stop the limo. The female gives the football back to Scrooge who is muddy all over (and even wears a dollar sign football uniform) and tells Scrooge to get the football game off his property before Scrooge arrests himself. HAHA! Scrooge pleads with her that he is Scrooge McDuck and the female snob blows it off as nonsense because the richest duck in the world would NEVER find time to play around.

She's got a point according to Sean Malstrom; the rich guy rarely finds any time and when he does; it's usually about finances. And Scrooge would never wallow in the mud as she order Vincent to go to the new car dealer because this one is dirty. Who; Scrooge or the car? The car looks mighty clean to me as the limo speeds away and Scrooge eats mud water. HAHA! Mr. Beakly comes over with the picnic basket and tells Scrooge not to pay that snob any attention. Which she has a point since the limo driver has a name (Vincent) and she doesn't. The nephew tell him that he can play football anytime he wants because he's the richest duck in the world; mud or no mud. Scrooge isn't amused as apparently the snob has a point. He wants to attract rich clients; he needs to start acting rich. Funny since most successful rich folks often act like regular Joe's and Jane's in real life. Mrs. Beakly states that it's fine to do as long as he eats his peanut butter sandwich before cleaning up. I'm guessing Scrooge will accept the cleaning but not the sandwich. And of course he refuses as he wants to lunch with rich folks and common food is not for him. He throws the football to the nephews and then walks out stage left.

So we head to the recycled background (in this case; the restaurant from Dime Enough For Luck) as we see Joe the hotdog man (A pig furry wearing a hot dog vendor gear and an orange bow tie with red hair. Voiced by Alan Young) putting mustard on a hotdog as Scrooge arrives. Joe asks him if he wants the usual and Scrooge says no and wants to eat in there. Now that is funny considering that Gladstone Gander and Scrooge ate there about three episodes ago and now he's acting as if he never ate there. Joe blows it off because they charge two dollars for a glass of water. And they charge like two dollars today in most family dining outlets for a bottle of water which fills about 1 ¼ glasses worth. It may be expensive in 1987; but today that is pretty cheap. Scrooge wants to show class see and Joe blows him off (and throws the hotdog onto the grill as it bounces and disappears off-screen) for that since apparently; Scrooge is accusing his hotdogs of having no class. Considering that many prudes think the hotdog is the universal symbol of a dick; I think Joe's case is going downhill fast into the muddy puddle below. They argue and Joe basically loses his customer right there. Well; as much as Scrooge wants to be with rich folks; he was Joe's customer and it was on Joe to prove otherwise; so Joe is to blame.

Scrooge storms off and storms into the rich snob eating outlet as he demands a table. The matire'd (a dogsperson in butler gear; Frank Welker) sells with the list of stuff to eat as Scrooge blows him off for saying we. The matire'd corrects him because he speaks French and English see. He must be from Canada. Everyone seated is chirping on that one as they continue eating. They make it to the table and of course Scrooge messes up his attempt at French as he sits down with the menu. Man; that menu list looks purple and fancy and cheap all at the same time. Scrooge swears in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE (great Scot!) as he sees the prices. Now today; those prices would be reasonable. Still; Scrooge wants to make a good impression to the snooty folks. I don't think burying your face in the menu is a good start Scroogie. We get some shots of a blond haired dogsperson in a pink dress who looks more like a cross dressing man and two business men who look like oversized chipmunks in business suits with one on the Paul E. Dangerously cellphone and the other is checking the paper ticker. Oh; and they all are drinking the WE KNOW IT'S RED WINE ALCOHOL BUT WE'RE NOT TELLING ANYONE. Scrooge then pops up and proclaims to Garcon to give him the most expensive dish on the menu.

...And then the last person Scrooge ever wanted to SEE walks in and greets him. HAHA! This episode just got better as the patrons are SHOCKED AND APPALLED. Scrooge is mostly APPALLED; everyone else is mostly SHOCKED. Scrooge hides underneath the table; but Launchpad still finds him. See Scrooge owes Launchpad a lunch (probably for saving his ass in the last episode no doubt.) and he dropped in. LP grabs a bread stick and munches it in a way that he is smoking a cigar. Okay; that's one way to say screw you to the anti-smoking censors. Now I fear for Launchpad's life as Scrooge demands to know how he found him. LP ran into Joe and he was as steamed as his hot dogs. HAHA! Scrooge tells him to show a little class and Launchpad doesn't get it because little class is his middle name. Still; LP has more class than Baloo ever did (My Fair Baloo, A Touch of Glass anyone?) as he still is munching on the bread stick like a baby (after dipping it into the melted butter pot) as the matire'd wheels in the tray with the silver platter under the silver dome. And considering that there is a burner underneath; I smell flambe commencing at six o'clock. And Damn; I'm good as Launchpad panics because the food is ON FIRE~!

Scrooge tries to calm him down because it's only a flambe; but it's no good as Launchpad runs over the flaming meal; and jumps onto about five tables (Seriously!) as he goes to table six and grabs the SQUIRT WATER BOTTLE OF CLOWNS (why do rich snobs always get the clown devices when it comes to water?). Okay; I take it back, Baloo has more class than Launchpad now. I'll go sulk in the corner right now....Okay; I'm back. So Launchpad speaks in French (his excuse part sounds too English to make it work perfectly though) and starts spraying as Scrooge eats periods of rain. HAHA! Scrooge sulks on that one as his social standing has sat down and died. Okay; he didn't say die; but it is implied. And of course we cut to outside as Scrooge and Launchpad are both thrown out of the restaurant with wussy bumps onto the ground. Ah; I see Wang Films is animating this episode. Launchpad's bump is better on the count that he squashed Scrooge good and on freeze frame it looks like LP is doing pushups on Scrooge's midsection. HAHA! Scrooge of course screws up his French worse than LP does. Now you know Scrooge should just give up this rich folks stuff just on that account alone. LP suggests skipping this joint since they don't serve burritos. I betcha Scrooge groans on that one. I check the DVD.... It's doesn't happen. BOO HISS!

So we go to the street BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (Sunset) and a far shot of the Money Bin as we zoom in and into the vault as Scrooge is sitting on his gold coin mountain sulking while he sling shots gold coins onto a target with a slide down. Okay; Scrooge has truly lost it if he's resorting to target practice. And I'm deeply disappointed that Flint nor Launchpad is not plated on the target. Now how is Scrooge supposed to live this down? At least with someone to have a personal grudge with; it would make sense. Otherwise; he's insane now. The slide goes down into the piggy bank as Scrooge sulks about not being invited to fancy parties. Considering Launchpad; I can see why. Scrooge then jumps up and proclaims that he will take his rightful place in the social fabric. Okay; this could be fun as we go to the rich snob hotel AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as the limo arrives and the snob female blows Vincent off again because she wants the bigger car see.

So we go into the red room (with lots of pictures) as we see all the rich folks in their rich gear. One of them clearly looks like a marine officer. I guess the two chipmunks from earlier are the replacements for the pig furries that usually come. I guess the writers figured that they need more diverse spieces in this series. Cannot say I blame them. Oh wait; there is a pig furry in the scene; never mind as we pan left and see Scrooge McDuck in his usual gear walk in as the dogperson butler (with Mickey Mouse gloves, English eyepiece and first place golden seal purple ribbon and purple bowtie and black hair, voiced by Alan Young. Now that is a run on sentence.) blocks him telling him it's for VIP's. And being the richest duck in the world is not a VIP; only an old bean. Scrooge knows that because this is the Association of Status Seekers; hence the title. HEE HEE! Scrooge shows his 72 kijillion dollars (well; the 72 part is correct; but it's really billion) and the butler blows him off because he wants status see. Something the patrons are dying to own. Scrooge counters that one by saying that he owns the hotel and that's enough for the butler to recoil and show Scrooge around.

Scrooge and the butler walk as we pan right and the butler introduces Gloria Snootlick who is a dogsperson lady in a purple dress with a lot of golden expensive necklaces. We know this when she walks; there are some many necklaces on her neck; I'm surprised her neck isn't broken as a result. Although; only two peral necklaces are really around her neck I should point out. Then Lady Delardo (A pig fury in a pink dress, white hair; a blue hat; is fat; has the world biggest diamond gallstone around her neck and a fancy wheel barrow to wheel it in because it's TOO FAT. Chris has her as Lady De Lardo which I agree with- Joan Gerber) wheels in with her big diamond on a wheel barrow. No one out status' her see. Another snob walks in behind her; but Scrooge comments on her limo driver's driving skills so she's ignored.

Next up is a driver called Doctor Kunstenweimer (thin dogsperson in a black suit, red bow tie and gray pants with gray hair and looks middle aged. He's voice by Terry McGovern. Interesting enough; Chris has him as Doctor Kooncen Wiemers which is basically a corrupt version of two last names of writers: Ken Koonce and David Weimers. I guess they were originally supposed to write this story; but Carl Barks stepped in.) and he shows a flip note papers of all the Rolls Canardlys. That sounds way too awkward to be considered a legit pun on Roll Royces. Apparently; you need ten to get status as Scrooge asks about the duck in very old clothes drinking from a teacup with a painting on his back and the butler proclaims that he owns a pink Fakasso. He eats like Launchpad on a binge as the butler tells the story of him selling his father's gold teeth to buy it. EEEWWWWW!! Scrooge talks about cutting the food costs and the butler blows him off because he is #1 of the Status Seekers for one important reason.

He then shows as a picture of a clam shell with painted monsters in it called Breath of A Salesman. That looks like the characters from the opening sequence of Bill Cosby's abortion of a movie: Leonard Part Six. Scrooge proclaims that it's almost as ugly as the Mask of Kuthululu. Scrooge thinks the Mask is hideous and the butler blows him off for it as he tries to walk away claiming that he got rid of it and then the butler is SHOCKED to hear that Scrooge once OWNED the mask and all the Status Seekers surround Scrooge asking where it is and they will gladly pay for it. One million dollars for one; up to ten million. Scrooge wonders if this is enough to get into the Status Seekers and Lady De Lardo proclaims that she would be the new president. The butler is taken aback by this as Scrooge walks out as Scrooge ribs him and mocks him before walking out twirling his cane. HAHA! Should have kept your mouth shut there; old bean.

So we head to the Club Fed prison as the butler arrives at the Prison Gates (with barbed wire to show that it is a prison after all) talking to another butler standing guard behind the gate. He has a picture frame with him as he proclaims that if he got arrested; he would demand to be sent here. I doubt that the courts would ALLOW such a thing in real life; but whatever. The gate opens and the Club Fed butler (Alan Young; so the one I called a Club Fed butler earlier must have been Charles Upstick III – voiced by Terry McGovern) walks inside as the Blue-blooded Beagle Boys will see him. There are rich Beagle Boys in this series? So we go inside to the living room prison as the blue polo shirt, blue shorts Beagle addresses Bearnaise Beagle (Chuck McCann) and asks if he wants to play polo. The purple polo shirt, blue short Beagle is Bearnaise, the blue polo shirt one is Bicep Beagle (Chuck McCann) and he refuses because they did that yesterday while eating grapes. So the green shirt short one playing croquet is Bonaparte Beagle (Frank Welker) and I see Bearnaise is the rich version of Burger, Biceps is the rich version of Bouncer and I guess that makes Bonaparte the rich version of Big Time. So the prison door opens (check the iron bars) and in comes the butler who proclaims that Charles Upstuck the 3rd (III according to Disney Captions. What is wrong with Disney Caption saying third? Is there some fear and loathing for that I'm not getting here) is here to see them.

Charles walks in with the picture frame as Bonaparte addresses him while having the mallet on retainer just in case. Charles has a job to do as Bonaparte would like to do it; but the Jail Bride Prison Golf Tournament is next week as he goes fore on a ball ball and it bounces destroying a vase. See; it's just not chaos and mayhem without a vase being shattered. Charles shows him the original Van Goat picture; which looks like a picture of some dogsperson with red hair and a purple shirt. I would be wary of such of a thing Beagle Boys. They like it of course as status supreme as I see a yellow seaplane picture on the back wall in the background on the Beagle Boys shot. It's a deal struck and then the butler returns and Bonaparte Beagle absolutely cracks me up by telling the butler to inform the warden that they will be escaping for the next week or so. I just spit my drink hearing that one. It's right up there with the prison voice in Darkwing Duck saying: Thank you for not escaping. The butler walks away and closes the door.

So we head to the harbor as the seagulls wail and about 20 sail boats sail in the harbor. Seriously; I think Wang Films is trying to show that they do not suck. Well; at least they can take solace that they aren't as bad as Sun Woo; or Kennedy Cartoons at this point. One of the nephews (Geez; even Disney Captions is too lazy to pick a name for the nephews on that one) proclaims that every status seeker is following them as we cut to Scrooge's sail boat to the back as Scrooge chuckles on that one. He hopes to lead them to the Mask of Kuthululu. Ah; I see Launchpad and Mrs. Beakly are here; but no Webby like in the last episode. I don't know why other than not to put a girl in danger; but what about Molly guys?! And of course we do need funny business on this cruise so Launchpad gets to stay. Scrooge then tells everyone to get down below as he pushes on the WHEEL OF MORALITY and the sailboat is really a submarine in disguise. HAHA! Lady De Lardo blows him off on that one calling him a nobody. Now how many snobs OWN a submarine?

I would think that would be enough to gain him status; but since the PLOT DEVICE OF DOOM is in effect; of course it's not. And the sub has a dollar sign painted in gold of course as we cut to inside the sub as Scrooge is on the ladder to take the sub down and the nephews salute him as Captain Scrooge. The nephews push some buttons on the control panel and the sub DIVES, DIVES, AROOGA, AROOOOOOOOGGAAAAAA! The rich snobs protest this outrage which leads me to the obvious question: Why would Scrooge want to lose them as he sezs? Isn't the point of this mission to find the mask and sell it to the highest bidder? Unless Scrooge has decided not to sell at all; to gain his status..Okay; I get it now. Scrooge is on the submarine floor as he asks for lunch and we pan over to the table as Mrs. Beakly brings out her basket and it's the peanut butter sandwiches again. HAHA! The nephews cheer as they go to the table and Scrooge isn't all that amused. I don't get how exciting it is to have peanut butter sandwiches; but then again, I eat them en masse so maybe I'm just biased.

So we go to the periscope as Scrooge has it and since they are out far to sea; it's time to look around. The peeper looks around and then notices a black sailing ship about a mile away from it. I'm sensing that this is the Blueblood Beagle's ship as Scrooge tells Launchpad to zig to the south and try not to hit anything. And zig isn't seen as a real word by Open Office by the way. So Launchpad pushes some buttons and we are underway as Scrooge and the nephews meet at the map as Huey asks where they are headed. As if the map doesn't give it away. Something tells me; the nephews failed at geography somewhere in their lives and they are winging it at this point. Scrooge uses the cane and points at a duck's side face which is the Island of Ripantero. At least it isn't Florida; the manhood of America. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...See; he got the mask swapped for a bushel of emeralds. Mrs. Beakly yells at Scrooge to come over to the periscope and Scrooge wonder what is wrong. Mrs. Beakly tells them the ship is still gaining on them. I'm guessing this IS the Beagle Boys' ship as Scrooge wants ACTION now!

To zig east, zag north, run in circles, dive and then double back twice. Yeah; like LP will REMEMBER all that yes siree! He only about four levels above Dale in the smarts department. They circle around; bashing a fish in the process and Scrooge watches the periscope again and the ship is still there. Scrooge is dumbfounded on who is following them as we head to the black ship as we see the sonic radar in front as Charles laughs with the Beagle Boys behind him. HAHA! And damn; I'm good as he hid the sub-sonic beeper inside McDuck's cargo crates. Okay; how did they do that? The Beagle Boys wonder why he hasn't picked up the sound and Charles uses a stick to reveal a jellyfish as it's the love call of one. HAHA! Now that is sound naval thinking there. But it still doesn't explain how he got the beeper into the crates without Scrooge or anyone noticing.

Bicep Beagle wonders if it would attract other jellyfish and Charles doesn't care since jellyfish don't need a status symbol and the heels laugh badly. So we head back to inside the submarine cockpit as Scrooge is pacing around figuring a way to lose that ship as Louie strikes the Gruffi pose; just to annoy me. And then there is rumbling as the babyfaces slip and slide and take wussy bumps along the way. We go to Launchpad on the left as that is a 6.8 on the Richter scale. Dewey has the periscope and they are in big trouble as a big ass jellyfish is hugging the submarine. Okay; that is so perversely funny. And no Dewey; he is not as big as the Astrodome since he's about ¾ the size of the submarine at best. Scaling is not your strong point I see. Escape plans; yes, obeying scale, FORGET ABOUT IT~! BUTTA BING! And the jellyfish wraps itself around the submarine which ends the segment 11 minutes in.

After the commercial break; we head inside the sub as Mrs. Beakly and the nephews slip and slide while Scrooge hangs on to the periscope while finding about 15 different ways to say that this is bad. Don't be afraid to tell us how you REALLY feel Scroogie. Louie asks if they could fire torpedoes and Scrooge states that there aren't any. Who does Scrooge think he is, Baloo?! Dewey gleefully blows it off since he has eaten chili with more fire power than this old tub. Oooooo...that is fighting words to a sailor Dewey! And then they get the MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN as they take all the spices along with the hot red pepper and the chili. So Kit Cloudkicker STOLE from the nephews for his plan in It Came From Beneath the SeaDuck?! I am SHOCKED AND APPALLED. Oh wait; just APPALLED. I'm not shocked that Kit stole something. They place all the evil stuff in a box Louie got from Launchpad's side. Of course Kit only uses hot red pepper and a box of Frosty Pep (and it took one guy and a girl) to do it; but he STILL STOLE the idea from them. Of course they are stealing from the Saturday Night's Main Event Halloween Special; only doing overkill to it. They open the torpedo tubes and fire away as the box somehow gets eaten by the jellyfish.

How does that work since the torpedo are at the front of the submarine and the jellyfish was no where near the front. Logic break #1 for the episode and that one I don't accept. Yeap; Kit's version of this spot is a lot better. The jellyfish is annoyed and then inflates into a balloon and the submarine pops from the water into the air. Bicep calls it the Goodyear blimp eating a submarine sandwich. HAHA! And man; that's ANOTHER real life company brand reference; this time, a tire and the blimp that they brand during live outdoor events. Scrooge looks in the periscope as it was a nice try; but now they are airborne as Launchpad launches into a promo in his natural element. HAHA! Scrooge blows him off as Launchpad orders them to sit on the wooden crates and Launchpad changes the cables into the plug as it's time to rock and roll as the jellyfish gets the good old RED OCEAN SHOCK TREATMENT OF DEATH~! Excellent selling from the jellyfish on that one as it finally let's go and they free fall right into the drink causing about $50,000 in damages inside. Mrs. Beakly eats picnic basket for good measure and I see a coloring mistake as Louie's hat is now red and his head is much smaller than his body. Mrs. Beakly basically sums it up for me as she gets the basket off her head. Scrooge wants to get back on track; but Launchpad isn't ready yet as he takes out his crash card and crosses out submarine. HAHA! The only ones left are a skateboard, a motorcycle (huh? That's pretty disappointing), a jet plane, a bicycle, a tank, an air glider, a scooter and a snowmobile. See it's from his insurance company and ten more crashes gives him a toaster. HAHA! Huey is not amused by that.

So we return to the black ship as Charles has the telescope and he blows off Scrooge for outwitting that uncouth blob. Bonaparte proclaims that they are headed off to the island of Ripantero. We know this because the submarine is shown near a coastline on the telescope shot. Charles proclaims that this is where the mask is and it's full steam ahead to the Beagle Boys. So we go to the scene changer as the submarine lands on a wooden dock which looks badly animated. Scrooge thinks he has won; but Louie shows him the error of his ways as we see a shot of of the black shot docked with rope on the sand dune with the harpoon gun on retainer. Scrooge is not happy with that and orders the nephews to get the crates as the nephews seemly are getting fed up with Scrooge at this point. So we head into the jungle with Launchpad carrying the crates now as Scrooge, the nephews, Mrs. Beakly and Launchpad walking north. Scrooge proclaims that they couldn't have gotten far and therefore they can still catch them.

And sadly; Scrooge doesn't look where he is going and everyone falls down a tiger trap with wussy bumps onto the ground. Scrooge doesn't recall any tiger traps and here comes Charles to blow him off as an old bean again. Scrooge mocks him as Charles Stick'Em Up III. What? No witty insult for the Beagle Boys? I am so disappointed in you Scroogie. Bicep wants to rearrange his face while showing his Biceps (and thus living up to his name- man he is thin skinned...); but Charles wants them to forget these lowlifes and go for the Mask of Kuthululu. They wave goodbye and walk off as Scrooge finally groans on cue. About damn time you did that, old bean. AHHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummmm.... Scrooge is now more determined to take over as President of the Status Seekers. I agree; this guy IS a cheat and a no good son of a bitch! Huey tells him to stop squawking and help them as the nephews put the crates on top of each other as Launchpad climbs up and calls this skin deep. I knew those crates were going to be used to escape somehow. So we logically go...

.into the village of Kuthululu (I think) as we see the Hawaiian like natives playing and meditating as we pan over to the chief of Rippon Taro (as Chris Barat states in his notes- Chuck McCann) who is a fat mallard with a security guard hat and grass skirt on sitting on his throne in a raised straw/bamboo house. Which all have one wall removed despite having windows. Charles is here along with the Beagle Boys as Charles offers a studded diamond watch which the Chief refuses of course. See; when light he works, when dark he sleeps. No need for the clock see. And yes; he speaks really Broken English here. Charles then decides to offer him a golden limo contract; but Scrooge arrives and blows him off before he can speak. Man; no wonder Team Rocket is so screwed, they have been taking pointers from this guys. Figures; considering James' back story. Charles is not amused as Scrooge tells the Chief to forget this scoundrel. HA! Now tell that Kit; he's a boy scoundrel too. POW! OUCH! Hey....

Scrooge offers a solid gold Squawkman. Now there's evidence that Ducktales and Darkwing Duck are in the same universe...and yes folks; this is what we USE to listen to before Apple iPod arrived with the iTunes store to destroy Sony in the process. And considering Sony's tactics as of late; they deserved it too. Charles offers a Gadillac (take one guess what pun he is saying) and Scrooge and Charles counter that with about six different things and the chief no sells those deals. Hey suckwads; why don't you ask him what he REALLY wants? He is a CUSTOMER after all! See; he has no need for such things as Bonaparte Beagle proclaims that they are status symbols in Duckberg. In Ripantero though they are big junk according to the chief. HAHA! Malstrom is got to be loving this. The chief walks out on them stage left as Charles and Scrooge sulk in defeat.

Louie then asks what is the status symbol here and the chief proclaims that he envies a big ass tummy. Launchpad proclaims that it's the symbol that carries a lot of weight. Hoppo would be in her dreamland here. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm.... I cannot even praise her anymore. DIVA! Mrs. Beakly then goes to the basket and brings out the peanut butter jar. And the chief gets all giddy as he accepts the deal and McDuck wins as he cheers for victory (for being the social king of the jungle) while Charles wonders what went oh; so wrong. Simple really; peanut butter is useful to the chief because it brings him happiness. Just like this cartoon brings joy to people who watch it. See Rescue Rangers, TaleSpin, Darkwing Duck, Gargoyles, Kim Possible and such. See Wii and DS. See NES. See hardcore scream in agony. See Malstrom laugh his/her ass off. See me join him; since I got a really big ass to laugh off.

Scrooge walks off and mocks Charles again as the chief goes to his treasure hut and grabs the mask which looks really ugly as Mrs. Beakly wants to bury it. Or give it to me for Halloween Parties at Reboot. Either one works well. Launchpad gives him happy scales to him as the nephews are not amused by the joke. The chief eats the peanut butter with his hands chuckling and feeling so happy. We then cut back to Charles as Bonaparte Beagle tells him that he must be devastated. So that means that we are going to spend the next six minutes or so with the return to Duckberg with Charles against Scrooge. And Charles strangles his pocket watch on a necklace as he has not even begun to fight..Somehow that works better on babyfaces, old bean. POW! OUCH! Ummm... He snaps the pearl necklace and that ends the segment exactly sixteen minutes in.

After the commercial break; we cut back to the submarine as the nephews are carrying the box containing Scrooge's offerings and other supplies back onto the sub. They are tired as they cannot believe that peanut butter is worth more here than the crates filled with fancy do-dads. Well; Scrooge got emeralds in exchange for the mask itself; so that tells you about the chief in a nutshell. He's chubby and likes to have Halloween Parties every night. Huey then grabs the golden lock and it snaps from the crate as the nephews discover a tracking device. NO?! REALLY?! As if they didn't know that Charles was tracking them from the start. Again; I just don't understand how this whole tracking thing makes any sense. Dewey then throws the tracking device away after blowing off Charles again as a nerd. Nah; he's more of a dork than a nerd as the device lands right into the black ship and bounces with a good bump. Scrooge and company arrive with the mask as Scrooge tells them to cast off as they are headed back to Duckberg.

The nephews cheer for victory on that one as we have the scene changer and we go to the side shot of the sub as everyone is relaxing on top of the sub in lawn chairs. Mrs. Beakly questions Scrooge's love for such an abomination as this mask. Geez; grow a thicker skin Mrs. Beakly; it's not THAT ugly. Scrooge stammers and claims that it's one of a kind..and with that ugly face; I agree. The tongue sticking out really accents the abomination doesn't it Mrs. Beakly?! Launchpad pops up from the porthole thanking the lord for small favors. Dewey calls it a total gross out as Disney Caption missed the total part. I see Disney Caption is par for the course in this episode as Scrooge is playing and kissing the mask. Scrooge calls this a sign of true status as Charles suddenly blows him off as we see the black sailboat in front of them and they are packing my nemesis from Final Fantasy 2 US: the heat ray of death. Biceps fires it to force the point and it destroys the periscope as Launchpad ducks on cue. LP gets bonked on the head with a croquet club (there's shrapnel in that ray gun?!) and LP cuts a Socrates promo before screaming his head off.

Charles calls it the latest in aerospace lasers because they have more status than Scrooge. Wrong; old bean, it's because BS&P has more status to force you not to use bullet shooting guns for your weaponry. Charles demands that he hand over the mask now and Mrs. Beakly raises her arms up; but Scrooge refuses anyway. Mrs. Beakly wants him to get rid of the hideous thing and Scrooge no sells that. So Charles decides to change his name from old bean to fried bean and orders Bicep Beagle to light up his life. So we get a far shot of the sub on the side as Bicep Beagle readys the laser and Louie tells Scrooge to give up the mask because it's not worth the status seeking anymore. And then the shadow arrives and it's the big fat jellyfish from earlier as it drops onto the heels. Okay; that is the weirdest deus ex machina twists I have seen ever in DTVA. How stupid do the Beagle Boys have to be to NOT see that the jellyfish was blocking out the sun and not realize that it was coming beside them?! The heels want their lawyer as they struggle; but there's no dice as the jellyfish has them good. Charles demands that the babyfaces release him; but Scrooge no sells as he tells Launchpad to lower his arms and get them out of here. Scrooge tells Charles to put some spice into his life and then excuses the jellyfish as they sail away in the sub stage left.

So we go to the party filled docks as Lady De Lardo and her gang of status seekers are happy to see Scrooge and congratulates him for finding that stunning mask. At 18:28?! Scrooge is happy as now he is one of the Status Seekers. They then tell him not to do anything unbecoming of his title. Scrooge asks what it is and Lady De Lardo reminds him of the fiasco in the restaurant. Scrooge proclaims that it's his friend's fault and they don't want to see him near Launchpad again. And no one football games as Scrooge is really hot under the collar at the seekers and then runs off near the edge of the pier as social climbing is making him afraid of heights. And here comes the nephews, LP and Mrs. Beakly with the peanut butter cracker treats ready on a silver platter. Scrooge stammers like such an idiot that the nephews and Launchpad are finally seeing what he thinks of them in that they mean nothing to him anymore. I believe this is the first in the series of Scrooge goes too far and the family turns on him spots. Scrooge claims that he needs these people and they are important to him. Sadly; the turn stops there as the Beagle Boys (who brought reinforcements with a red polo shirt thin ferret like Beagle Boy I see) with mallets as they back up the status seekers and orders them to raise their arms in the air; and no one will be physically discomforted. Okay; that is lame, but it's in a good way as I betcha the Status Seekers panic and sell.

Sadly; they don't get it and Scrooge has to tell them to stick the arms up. Launchpad wants to leave; but Huey is against it because Scrooge needs them. Mrs. Beakly agrees as she opens the dome to reveal the sweet treats and she want to give them their just desserts. So we cut to the pillar with the mask on as the red shirt Beagle Boy grabs the mask and talks (I'm guessing Chuck McCann here) as Scrooge wants to take them because it's basically 20 on 1. Lady De Lardo and the gang refuse of course since they hate getting their hands dirty. And then the red Beagle blows his cover and calls him old bean as it's Charles in a convincing Beagle Boy disguise. So he's Upstuck Beagle all along. And he had me fooled too. And then Dewey swings in Tarzan style as Charles stammers on cue claiming that he's not; so Dewey takes the disguise off and now Lady De Lardo is PISSED write a stern note to the committee about this. These people are so out of touch with reality that they could work for the WorldNutDaily. Dewey lands on the table and the nephews throw melons at the Beagle Boys as one of them eats melon. I believe it's the Burger look a like as this is an apropos time to depart. Bonaparte and Bicep try to escape; but Mrs. Beakly and Launchpad block the way and it's sticky buns time~!

Bonaparte gets creamed with the deadly sweets and drops knocked out against the pillar as Launchpad has the CLOWN SPRAYER OF LAUGHS. I just knew that would be involved again at some point. It always popular with Blueblood episodes. Bicep gets sprayed with egg nog as he goes over the rail and into the drink. Then Scrooge goes after Charles with some football and tackles Charles at the one yard line near the end of the dock as the mask falls from him. Scrooge walks back with the mask in tow. Scrooge thanks his crew and Lady De Lardo sort of thanks them; but they cannot stay at the party. And now Scrooge is PISSED off as his friends had the common sense to do the right thing and the snobs blow him off and walk away. Wow; that makes John Dee Rockafeather and her snobs more respectful to the common people than the Status Seekers. The Status Seeker are now officially the worst snobs in DTVA history as Scrooge is happy for it and throws the mask into the drink.

And naturally; the Status Seekers panic; turn around and jump right into the drink. HAHA! I see the Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue has started early. No surprises since the nephews somehow managed to get on that program. I guess Eisner didn't want people to think that he was using the program to pimp TaleSpin now do we?! The Status Seeker fight among themselves into the drink in probably the most entertaining part of the episode (and for the babyfaces to boot). Scrooge throws the ribbon into the drink and calls them not a bad lot....Yeah; these guys have mental illness and that isn't rare according to the doctors. Scrooge claims that they like playing in the mud more than they do and the babyfaces laugh. Would have worked better if they really WERE playing in the mud instead of Halifax Harbor; but it works anyway. We zoom in to the laughing to end the episode at 21:10. Much better than My Fair Baloo; and funnier too. Although I could have loved it more had it not been for the ultra contrived tracking device and deus ex machina jellyfish. **** ½ (90%).


Normally; when I say that an episode plotline is better than TaleSpin (which happens actually); it's usually a little better and makes for the better template. The Status Seeker is one of the first where I can safely say it's a lot better than TaleSpin; in this case My Fair Baloo. While the Status Seeker turned out to be lower than My Fair Baloo's snobs; Charles Upstuck III was pretty smart for a heel and he had his version of the Beagle Boys. I'm guessing the reason why Flint never considered them is because they are so full of themselves despite being clones of Big Time, Bouncer and Burger Beagle. The jellyfish homing device was pretty funny although the set up was forced and it caused a pretty silly and contrived logic break with the jellyfish on the heels later on even though the homing device tactic made sense. I thought Scrooge did well for himself and I did like the way the common men managed to defeat Charles and get the mask from the chief because it's a real lesson in knowing your customer. You have to make him happy and peanut butter did the trick nicely. I also love the finish as the snobs got their just desserts for being idiots and then we realize that they are pretty much a case for mental illness or over use of drugs or both. Launchpad was Launchpad of course as there were few logic breaks (one I didn't accept which lowered the rating a bit) and the animation was excellent. So Carl Barks delivered in spades after a half decent effort in Back To The Klondike in episode rant #6. So we finally finish disc one with Nothing To Fear. So.....

Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.


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