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Ducky Horror Picture Show

Reviewed: 11/08/2009

Where is Tim Curry; the Evil One when you need him....?!

Well; Saint Hallows Eve might be over; but Ducktales keeps it going on with more monsters and a parody based on the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Sadly; as I see in the credits, Tim Curry isn't in this one. So let's rant on shall we...?

This episode is written by Richard Merwin, Patsy Cameron and Tedd Anasti. The story is edited by Tedd Anasti and Pasty Cameron.

Interesting Moment #1: We begin this one with a B&W shot of a foggy graveyard and there are Christian Cross tombstones and if you look closely when the Frankenstein monster growls at Dewey eating popcorn; there is a tombstone with a small cross on top of the slab. 4Kids would have a field day turning all those crosses into rectangle slabs. This just goes to show you how tolerant Disney was compared to 4Kids and even Nintendo today (and Nintendo in 1987 was as big of a editing BS&P monster as 4Kids is today.).

The nephews scream that this is horrible and are thankful that it's only a movie. HAHA! I agree; that Frankenstein monster groaning sucks as Louie screams again; and of course he is out of popcorn. This is like the kids version of getting drunk to keep your composure while watching crap on the screen. Huey and Dewey are not amused and so they stuff the popcorn box right on Louie's pinhead. Ah; I see Rebecca and Huey were exchanging notes on Rebecca doing the stuff bowl of popcorn on Baloo's head which I found a lot funnier since nothing is funnier than the chaos and mayhem caused by the WRAITH OF BECKEY. Dewey motions to Huey as he gets off Quackeroonie #1 for the episode as we go to the far shot of the cinema with the Frankenstein monster still growling in the Wii Thunderclaps.

Apparently; this is Scrooge's Monster Movie Marathon and it's a full house. Considering all the monsters he has faced; he seems unfazed by a monster movie nowadays. It's the Scroogerama Dome as we get a pan shot of the crowd and it's deader than Undertaker matches. And I mean; ZERO animation occurring. Huey claims that it shows only quality monster films as Frankenstein gets a tree which looks clearly like a prop. HAHA! I see this is a rib on Don Glut's future career along with Katerine Victor's former career as an actress before she did assistant work for Disney. It's one of those crazy “You have to be backstage to see this” moments that flew under the radar instead of the one with Butterbear's voice. And I see two more Christian Crosses as tombstones in the background. It amazes me how much Disney Television Animation got away with in the late 1980's and early 1990's. Babysitter shows this isn't. He throws the tree into the screen and growls as the haunting music continues on.

And so we pan to outside the Scroogerama Dome AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) and we know this because it's written in golden letters and has a neon sign picture of Scrooge McDuck's face. Oh; and it also has a top hat for a roof; just to put it over the top. I see Scrooge's ego is not in check in this episode which may or may not be a good thing for the episode quality. And the flashing effect is awesome as the nephews are outside pondering if there are monsters in the real world. I wonder if half duck/half human qualifies as one. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! POW! POW! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Ummm.... Huey will let them know if they run into one and then they run right into the Frankenstein monster from inside the movie screen; only in color. And yes; he's green with a duck bill as the nephews panic on cue. Only Louie keeps his ground as the monster growls and everyone bails stage right (Louie has to be grabbed like Scrappy Doo though) and we get some running before Scrooge tells them to stop because it's his friend known as Arnold Schwarzenfeather. Arnold in a Z-grade movie? Yeah right as Bill Cosby would say.

We then see Scrooge in the limo with Duckworth driving as usual. Scrooge explains that he's only here to drum up publicity for the Monster Movie Marathon. See; he's an actor on low budget horror films and Arnold simply wants to direct low budget horror films as Scrooge is happy because he proved the critics wrong to say that the Scroogerama Dome wouldn't make a dime. Sadly; I have no clue who Arnold is and judging by the Stan Blather voice; I'm guessing either Peter Cullen or Jim Cummings. So we go to the scene changer as we cut the limo driving and we go inside as Scrooge and the nephews talk about monsters. Scrooge admits that he has seen beasts and business partners who made his feathers stand on end; but not monsters like Quackenstein, Drakeula and the Wolf Duck though. Arnold waves at them in such a funny way as Louie sulks on the fact that they are make believe while watching the back of the limo. Man; you know it's Disney 1980's when there are NO SEATBELTS in the limo.

So we head to the docks in the morning as the limo drive around and there is a boarded up mansion sitting near the coastline. Now I see why the mansion is abandoned: It's ON THE OCEAN~! That is just asking for a hurricane to blow it away at some point. Scrooge asks Duckworth about his latest investment and Duckworth calls it a colossal blunder. HAHA! Duckworth comes out and opens the door for Scrooge as he sees it as a million dollar money maker. So they sold it to him for a million dollars. That's kind of an expensive price tag there Scroogie. Scrooge goes to the wooden pillar and admits that it's going to need to be fixed as he recoils on wreck and chooses place because it's the new Duckberg Convention Center. He then taps his cane on one of the wooden pillars and I betcha the whole thing comes down on top of him like Jenga. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good, although only the front came down on him when Scrooge leaned on the pillar.

Duckworth is thankful that the next butler convention is in Dogburg. HEE HEE! So we get another scene changer as we see dogsperson construction workers (in blue shirts and pants) bringing supplies from the truck and walking towards the wreck. We pan over to see a workman informing Scrooge that the pier tilings must be repaired. The workman so happens to be a pit bulldog as apparently everything must be replaced and they need more money for it all as Scrooge is handed a bill. Scrooge screams badly on the last one as he whines about money being his two favorite words until now. HAHA! Scrooge claims that he never lost money on a project and he's not about to now as he'll make this work even if it costs him every dime. Luckly; he is $77 billion dollars worth; so he shouldn't have any problems with money at this point as the bills pile up in his hands.

The workman is voiced by Neil Ross who started voice acting directly in 1977 with the Little Magican. He got off the ground as Keith in Voltron, Buzzer and Shipwreck in G.I. Joe, Hook, Spring and Bonecrusher. He was also in the animated An American Tail as Honest John. He did several characters in Spiral Zone, Leoric in Visionaires: Knights of the Magical Light, and was in the movies Back to the Future Part II and Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland. He even did a cameo in Roseanne as a wrestling commentator. However; his really juicy credits comes from the fact that he was an announcer for videos showing the calenders of Playboy bunnies from 1986 to 2001. Seriously; he did soft porn with a straight face. He also narrated Nova the PBS series and was part of the Academy Awards and Emmy Awards. He was also Captain O.G. Readmore in the ABC Weekend specials. Ducktales is his DTVA debut and was in TaleSpin as an Squadron Seven member in Bygones, Dopey Ghost in Bonkers, Quack Mallardson in Darkwing Duck, and an additional voice in The Little Mermaid animated series. His resume continued to be more impressive as time went on; including being in the movie Being John Malkovich, Donkey Kong Country animated series (!!!), Family Matters in a cameo, Doctor Doom in Fantastic Four in 1994, Superhuman Sumarai Syber-Squad, and in video games such as Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge, Onimusha 3, Call of Duty, Ninja Gaiden Sigma, various Metal Gear Solid titles and Mass Effect. Garfield's Fun Fest and Absolute Zero were his most recent credits. He also did Son of The Mask movie and narrated A&E's Biography among the 230+ credits that he has thus far.

So we get another scene changer and we see that the Convention Center is fixed up with pink, red and purple paint. We then pan over to see Scrooge shaking hands with a duck in a brown trench coat, brown hat, brown pants and a blue bow tie. Mr. Wolf (Dick Gautier for the first time since Horse Scents no less) proclaims that he is having his convention here and Scrooge is thankful to have him and his MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Well; that didn't take too long at all. And considering that his name is Mr. Wolf; I would be very careful if I were you Scroogie. He howls as there are 50 of them and they need rooms see. Scrooge howls on the rooms part just to amuse me. Considering that this guy howls like that; I think that pretty much gives away his real self.

And boy; Louie is going to feel like he's a kid in a candy store, a bull in a china shop and Tommy Dreamer in a weapons match at the ECW Arena. And we all know these 51 people are going to wreck the joint for Louie's amusement and to really screw up Scrooge. Scrooge has no problems with that as he rings up golden dollar signs in his eyes. Okay; it's time to retire that spot because it's getting annoying now. So we cut to Scrooge opening the door to his mansion as he gives his top hat to Duckworth and proclaims that he, Mrs. Beakly and the nephews are going to help him make that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Duckworth finds that very touching as Huey and the nephews along with Mrs. Beakly run in and asks what's up. I've been asking the same question with Chip when it comes to sticking them up. Scrooge proclaims that the mansion will now become a hotel. Scrooge is willing to give 50 homeless conventioneers (really Scrooge? That sounds really low to me.) a place to spend their money as he laughs.

So we cut to a phone booth on the edge of a crosswalk near the park AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Mr. Wolf is in the badly drawn phone booth (complete with Al Khan writing as in no writing on the phone at all) making a call and there is a pig furry in a purple trench coat, banana yellow tie, green pants and brown shoes with bad greasy hair. The bully checks his watch as Mr. Wolf tells the operator to connect him with Swannsylvania 6000. Well; at least they didn't use duck this time around for a pun. The moon is becoming full and the lump in Mr. Wolf's throat moves up and down as he howls in a neat spot. And then we cut to a tree as a owl with glowing red eyes hoots out loud on the perch as we pan over to lots of bats flying and the scary cave as a voice calls this Monsters Unanimous and refers to himself as Count Drakeula (Alan Oppenheimer for the first time since Ducks of the West). We head inside to see a Dracula type duck answering the phone inside. Strangely; the shot at 4:48 into the DVD appears to have someone balancing upside down on top of Count Drakeula which makes it so odd. Oh wait; Drakeula is answering the phone upside down. My mistake as usual as we also see a Quasimodo type character who looks like a really ugly old duck. I'm guessing that is Quackimodo (Jim Cummings) as Drakecula feels kind of blah when Mr. Wolf asks about his feelings.

And so we go to the split screen with Drakecula and Mr. Wolf (Wolf is left screen, Drakeula is right surrounded by a white line) talking about curing the blahs. When Drakecula hears that they will be headed to the Duckberg Convention Center; Drakeula goes blah and then drops onto Quackimodo with a really good bump and then turns into a bat as the phone line snaps. Okay; that was a really awesome sequence of events as Quackimodo blows him off for fooling around since they have work to do see. He writes the invitations and he will get started on the water balloons. Funny crackling from him as Drakecula turns back into himself and calls Duckberg a town he can really sink his teeth into. He then spins around in his cape and then falls down with a really good bump flat on his face. HAHA! I'm really going to enjoy this episode for sure as we return to the phone booth as Mr. Wolf is still on the phone (and the booth is still drawn as poorly as before) as the pig bully furry is knocking on the door telling him to hurry up (Jim Cummings for sure since he has the heel Pete voice going). Mr. Wolf apologizes; but he still has to call his Mummy. HAHA! The bully has had enough as he wants Mr. Wolf to tell his mommy goodbye and calls him a wimpy little nerd. Mr. Wolf takes exception on that one as his teeth get bigger by the second as the bully mocks him on that one. And that proves to be his fatal mistake as Mr. Wolf growls and changes into a wolf man with torn red shorts as the color guys change his pants from brown to red. How about that?! Par for the course with Wang; but with Mr. Wolf around, I'll accept this logic break. The booth gets destroyed of course and the pig bully's hair turns white like a ghost sheet and he bails stage right like a scalded dog. Or in this case, ham. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Mr. Wolf howls at the moon on that one.

So we head to the nephews' bedroom (check the triple bunk beds) as they are sleeping and then they wake up instantly on the howling. Huey is on top as he checks the window and wonders what a wolf is doing here in Duckberg. Louie is hoping that it's a werewolf (HA!) as Dewey blows it off as just Scrooge doing a monster movie promotion as he is on bottom. Wondered who drew the short straw for tonight. More howling as the nephews rise up like zombies on THAT one. The nephews run out (complete with color coordinated undershirts) and decide to ask him to be on the safe side. So we head to Scrooge's room as Scrooge is sleeping and snoring like a baby. He of course is mocking Duckworth for calling his Convention Center a blunder in his sleep. We zoom in and see Scrooge in purple hugging his piggy bank which just has to be the most disturbing thing I have ever seen him do in this series yet. The nephews climb onto the bed and that wakes Scrooge up as they claim that a wolf is howling and Scrooge thinks that it's a were wolf unintentionally which Louie thought that he guessed right. HEE HEE! The nephews asked if he hired an actor to run around howling like a were wolf. Scrooge of course denies that he heard any howling and reminds them that there are no such things as werewolves, Quackensteins or vampires.

And so we cut to the scary cave inside as Drakecula and Quackimodo are licking up the invites. We are going to see as part of the monster convention with Quackenstein, The Thing (Marvel is panicking right now) and the Creature of the Blue Lagoon. I guess this is a normal swamp rather than an oil filled swamp. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Quackamodo never forgot about the creature's last pool party. A note: Frankenstein is copyrighted so much that Konami changed their Frankenstein monster names in Castlevania in Japan to just The Creature which makes little sense. Oh; and Al Khan is going to have a heart attack as the names of the monsters are on the letters. Drakecula felt the food was soggy; but it did have a wet bar. I just love it when DTVA manages to slip in an obvious alcohol reference like that and it gets pass BS&P. A wet bar is a small bar used for mixing alcohol drinks. They laugh some more and lick some more invites which includes The Mummy, The Daddy (SCORE!), The Killer Pumpkin (making Doofus look bad in Nothing To Fear and getting off Death Reference #1 for the episode). Sadly; Quackimodo claims that someone killed him and turned him into pumpkin pie. HAHA! Drakecula crumples up that one and throws it into the garbage. I see they are crappy guys when it comes to recycling. Bigfoot gets one and Quackimodo is worried about her dancing skills. So Bigfoot is a she in DTVA?! Never knew that. Well; you live and learn unless you are Scrooge. Then you just make that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. And of course it wouldn't be complete without...THE BLOB~! Sadly the Phantom Blot is currently in prison on kidnapping and stealing charges so he probably doesn't get invited.

So we get the scene changer as we see a postman dogsperson slowly coming up to a mailbox with a letter and places it into the slimy mailbox and then bails stage left just as....THE BLOB rises from the water and squeals before grabbing the letter and sinking down into the depths. We then cut to a river in front of a water fall as the same postman dives with scuba gear on and puts the letter into the mail box clam which chomps on his hand. HAHA! He no sells it though since the water deflected most of the damage I do believe and then he swims up before the Creature of the Blue Lagoon arrives (basically a Sea Hag who looks like a mutated version of the sea hags from Cash As Catch Can episode #3). And so we logically go to the house of Quackenstein as Quackenstein is sitting in his chair reading the newspaper. So the scary monster has been reduced to being Fred Flintstone as Mrs. Quackenstein (Joan Gerber) talks to her hubby about going shopping in Duckberg.

And unlike Mr. Quackenstein; Mrs looks like a regular duck in a white dress with boxing promoter Don King's hairdo. The house is pretty damaged as Mrs. Quackenstein has the invite as she wants to break in the new Monster Charge Credit card. Quackenstein gets up and kisses her while holding onto the neck as Al Khan has another heart attack at the writing on the Monster Charge Credit Card. Now if only he DIED from one of those heart attacks; anime would finally be dubbed in a respectful manner and not this overkill garbage. Or maybe not. Mrs. Quackenstein offers more orange juice in a Kool-Aid like pitcher and he no sells that as he is in a Wii blue/ red striped jogging suit and white sneakers as Mrs. Quackenstein tells him to have a nice jog. HAHA! He looks like the duck version of Sexy Reggie. And the light bulb hanging on the ceiling shatters of course because that is pretty funny when a zombie no sells it like that. And he goes through the wall of course as Mrs. Quackenstein proclaims that she is the luckiest ghoul in the world. HAHA!

Joey Styles: We just fixed that wall!

And so we head to the Convention Center AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Scrooge is talking to Mr. Wolf while Duckworth is at the limo standing at attention as usual. Scrooge asks why they wanted to meet on a full moon at midnight. Mr. Wolf claims that this is the only time they can let their hair down see and he howls again as Scrooge is getting worried now. Mr. Wolf tells Scrooge to not be alarmed about the group being a little different. HAHA! If only they were a little different there Mr. Wolf. Scrooge laughs it off as he doesn't care as long as they carry a major credit card...and then he catches himself and asks how different. HAHA! I smell screw job in your future Mr. McD. And then Scrooge panics right on the bus honking as we cut to the edge of the docks and see a pink bus (!!!) as Drakecula (with the horn honker), The Creature from the Blue Lagoon, The Mummy, THE BLOB~ (with cameras in tow) and Quackimodo with purple water balloons. Minor mistake: Drakecula states that the the blob is here despite him being in the same bus as him. Mr. Wolf should have said all of the greeting dialog as Scrooge groans and pulls his hat down as Duckworth is SHOCKED AND APPALLED.

Mr. Quackenstein (who doesn't have a voice here unlike Arnold) pops from the roof and lifts the roof off of the bus and throws it away. Drakecula loves it because it is now a convertible. HAHA! The monsters climb out of the bus laughing and walk towards Mr. Wolf as Mr. Wolf tells them to calm down as he tells them it's a good place to unwind in which Quackimodo states that it's true unless Mummy is involved. HAHA! Drakecula proclaims that he is too wrapped up in his work. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Mr. Wolf addresses the monsters as this convention is more than just having fun and it's time to make some progress in their struggle for monster rights. Considering that Scrooge basically created a hotel and convention center and accepted the group (without knowing that they are monsters of course); I think this is a good start already. However; Mr. Wolf growls and turns into the red panted wolf man and proclaims that it is time to PART-IE! Dale would be in his element here if he wasn't so afraid of real monsters. Scrooge shakes in morbid fear as the monsters cheer on cue and they approach Mr. Wolf and Mr. Wolf slaps Scrooge off the pier and into the ocean blue with a resounding splash. Mr. Wolf proclaims (in his normal voice) that last one in the Convention Center is a blob and everyone enters as Mrs. Quackenstein is the last one in. I see logic break #1 for the episode because I thought only Mrs. Quackstein didn't join the pink bus guys. On another angle; this would have been really funny if the blob WAS the last one to enter (he was the second last guy to enter). Scrooge pops up and is having trouble swimming which ends the segment 10 minutes in. Oh; this is really going to get good now.

After the commercial break; we head to the docks in the morning as we pan over and see that the Convention Center is a complete mess. HAHA! We then cut to Scrooge in the water, climbing up the pier trying to stop those monsters from causing any more damage and then he is grabbed by a police officer (Peter Cullen) who blows him off for trying any crazy money making scheme. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Scrooge wants the monsters stopped and he blows him off because it's another PR stunt in his eyes. HAHA! Disney Caption misses some of the most absurd parts of the PR stunt from the police officer; but no big deal. Scrooge turns around and sees the whole place trashed with balloons all around as he groans and wails on cue. HAHA! The officer leaves mocking Scrooge for one of his patrons making werewolf calls. HAHA! Scrooge tries to reason with him that the monsters were real; but no dice is forthcoming. He checked the pink bus; but it is gone and much of the docks are trashed as well as the officer blows him off for that (I came on a purple pogo stick. HAHA!) and implies jail time to Scrooge is he causes any more public disturbances and then finally leaves. Scrooge looks around and wonders if he is seeing things. And then we see Duckworth hiding underneath the limo saying that he saw the same thing he did. Duckworth informs Scrooge that they trashed his blunder and left onto the pink bus to check into their hotel.

Scrooge panics right on cue as we see the nephews as pink/purple bellhops and Mrs. Beakly dressed up in her usual dress; only more formal black and white color plus a hat as the pink bus is at the front entrance of their mansion. HAHA! The monsters get out and Mr. Wolf howls at the moon as I see logic break #2 for the episode as he should be normal by now. And again; I cannot tell the nephews apart here; but I'll assume it's Louie asking why Scrooge didn't tell them about this. Oh wait; they think these monsters are really actors for the monster movie promotion as they looks almost as fun as the real thing see. Drakecula cracks a really funny pun as the monsters laugh it up. Louie relates DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) of hotel management. The customer is always right; courtesy is good business and the bigger the baggage; the bigger the tip. Minus the third one; that applies to ALL businesses guys. Oh well; they at least got the customer experience rules pat down. Now can they execute it? The nephews run stage left as we go to the scene changer as nephew #1 has the CHEST OF DEMONS as he and the creature walk in as #1 proclaims that he's lucky to have a water bed. HAHA! The creatures blows bubbles for my amusement as nephew #2 brings in the Mummy's coffin with the Mummy following as #2 proclaims that they won't run out of bandages with him around and they need them.

The Mummy only groans on the pan shot. Nephew #3 has the suitcases of Mr. and Mrs. Quackenstein as they get the honeymoon suite. They even get to knock down a few walls. HAHA! These nephews are so nice to the customer that Scrooge has to be having a heart attack of his own. And when he does; you can faintly hear Al Khan laughing all the way to the bank. Mrs. Quackenstein proclaims that he will as we cut to outside at the front door with Drakecula (with his casket luggage) and Quackimodo with his purple water balloons. Drakecula wish he knew about Quackenstein's wife being here as Quackimodo blows off Drakecula's sex life. Drakecula responds by trying to dig up a date. HAHA! They laugh and Drakecula get tangled in his cape and nails Quackimodo good as they land flat on the ground with their faces and destroy all of Quackimodo's water balloon. Well; at least Scrooge can take solace that there will be no water balloons in his kisser during this episode. At least in theory.

So we go to the country side as the limo drives towards the mansion with really scary organ music as the limo stops on a dime behind the torn roof pink bus. Scrooge walks out and then eats water balloon. HAHA! Me and him just walked into THAT one as Quackimodo laughs it up on the roof of course tossing another water balloon in his hand. He throws another one down; but Duckworth invokes his black umbrella to shield Scrooge from any more funny stuff. Well after Take Me Out Of The Ball Game; I'm not surprised at all by this. Logic break #3 ensues as Quackimodo now has a half dozen water balloons in his left arm when he had none to begin with. Scrooge and Duckworth run into the house as they dodge water balloons. Scrooge tries to go upstairs to talk to the nephews but he is forced back by THE BLOB~! He gets the slime treatment for his trouble as the blob slinks away. HAHA! Scrooge groans on cue as Duckworth proclaims that there is a first time for everything. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. We then cut to inside the bathroom as the Creature is swimming in an overflowing bathtub, and just having a good time splashing. HAHA! He even has a Rubber Ducky just for the occasion.

Ernie would be proud of him. And I don't mean the one from TaleSpin. We then cut back to the steps as the slime is still there as Scrooge has rain drops pouring on his head as he wants answers to this outrage. Duckworth seems to be loving every moment of this as Scrooge runs up the steps towards the bathroom which we see the water leaking out of the bottom of the door. Scrooge foolishly opens the door and we have the bathroom water wave as it swamps Scrooge. Logic break #4: The slime should have still been on him when Scrooge opened the door. Well; that kills the perfect monty right there sadly. The flood goes down the steps as Drakecula gets off the funniest suck your blood promo I have ever heard and turns into a bat and flies away. We then cut to the nephews with three bushels of apples as they are knocking on the door proclaiming that they got the apples he ordered. The bat comes to them and changes back into Drakecula as he thanks them. The nephews grab their necks in horror as they realize that Louie's wet dream has finally come true. Thankfully; Drakecula only bites apples as he shines one on his sleeves and eats it. See; it keeps the dentist away as it gives him shiny teeth. Apples are good though so I'll let him slide on that one.

We then cut back to the bathroom as the water is gone (the damage isn't though) and Scrooge manages to come out. I notice the Red Cross First Aid Kit in the background and I mention this because the Red Cross owns the symbols and it is usually cut due to copyright reasons. It has nothing to do with religion since the Red Cross is very secular. And there is Quackimodo on the right side of the door just as Scrooge squeezes water from his suit. He offers to let Scrooge blob for apples which of course the THE BLOB is inside the basket containing the apples. HAHA! Scrooge absolutely gags on that one as Drakecula runs in and blows Scrooge off because party games are fun. I betcha he trips on his cape again and plops right onto the Quackimodo and the blob. I check the DVD...Nope it doesn't happen as Drakecula has a pin with a tail on the back as Scrooge blows him off because you have to be blindfolded to play that game. Drakecula corrects him because he's pinning the tail on the Invisible Man (Chuck McCann). SCORE!

He pokes him with the needle and the Invisible Man hollers as he runs away from Drakecula. We then cut to inside as Mrs. Beakly in the kitchen with a bone of kibble and bone that Mr. Wolf ordered. We then see Mrs. Beakly and the wolf man talking about a low taste diet as Scrooge runs in and informs Mrs. Beakly that the monster is real and I betcha Mrs. Beakly faints dead away after screaming her lungs out. I check the DVD...She didn't faint though; but it was close as she runs away stage right. Scrooge then blows him off good (with his cane in tow no less) for costing him a pretty penny on the investment. Scrooge orders them to pack up; get on the pink bus and file on out of here as the song goes as he opens the door. Mr. Wolf finally changes back to his duck form and he calls Scrooge out on Monster Racism and Scrooge agrees with him on THAT one. Yeap; Scrooge is now officially a bigot. That's a sure sign BS&P will treat Scrooge as a heel in the new Disney. So Mr. Wolf trumps him by asking for their money back and Scrooge instantly recoils right on cue and decides not to be hasty as he closes the door.

So the nephews run down the stairs and they greet Scrooge as Scrooge walks to them and asks them if the monsters scared them too badly. Nephew #2 states that they aren't scary once you know them. This is so great it must bring a tear to Ed Brayton's eye to see children knowing how bigoted and dumb the adults are. Irony is such a fickle muse in this world. Kudos to the writers for doing this scene. They also give out big tips as they plead for Scrooge to let them stay and he gets to split the tips with them. Scrooge states that he cannot afford to kick the monsters out as he cries and bawls with a hanky because if he does kick them out; he'll suffer his first business failure of his entire life. HAHA! Duckworth must be loving every minute of this. The nephews console him as he blows his nose on camera. He could still break even as long as the monsters don't cause any more major destruction.

And then right on cue; the monsters hear something and come down the steps and completely destroy the door and the wall in the process as they run out. See; the life of the party is here as Scrooge and the nephew are SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order) as Mrs. Beakly and Duckworth appear and they see the monsters cheering as it's...wait for it...Ping Kong....who so happens to like playing ping pong. HAHA! This episode just gets better and better as we see Ping Kong (a 2000 pound gorilla of course) walking towards the mansion playing ping pong of course. Nephew #1 tells Mrs. Beakly that they need more towels as Scrooge runs in front of the monsters and asks them if he'll stay here. The monsters say no; as he will only hang onto the tallest building in the city as Scrooge breathes a sigh of relief....For about three seconds as he realizes that it's his Money Bin. So we cut to Ping Pong as he walks towards the Money Bin as the public scatters (probably those pesky anti-capitalists again) and the sirens blare as the police car arrives and the police chief orders everyone to remain calm. Ping Kong bangs his chest while playing the paddle the entire time and that ends the segment sixteen and a half minutes in.

After the commercial break; we see a far shot of the Money Bin as the crowd looks on from afar and the police car rushes in as Ping Kong climbs up the Money Bin. He gets to the top of the roof and beats his chest and growls and then coughs. HAHA! He probably has a cold from the elevation. Five police car surround the area as the bystanders look on from the barrier and a pig furry in a black suit and bow tie proclaims that this is terrible (Chuck McCann) while a dog with black whiskers in a brown hat, cheese tie and shirt and brown trench coat proclaims that this is horrible (Alan Young) as they get it that it's real and the police chief calls this a PR stunt. He orders the crowd to break up and go home as Scrooge arrives and grabs on the police chief's clothes wanting the Army and the Air Force called. That's a no-no Scroogie. The police chief peels him off and blows him off for the stunt. He then threatens jail time if he doesn't remove the gorilla within 24 hours (balloon or robot of course) as he walks out and orders the crowd to move along as there is nothing to see here. They move away showing Duckworth on the phone as Scrooge goes to him and he tells Scrooge that his lawyers called and his insurance doesn't cover monster damage. Scrooge groans on cue as he realizes that he has had his first major business blunder/failure. Same thing basically as Duckworth informs him (with that smile saying that he told him so) as there is some sort of riot at the Scroogerama Dome.

Scrooge cannot believe this one as we cut to the Scroogerama Dome as we hear the monster calling down monster movies and up with monster rights. This is just going great now. We see the monsters with picket sign with their faces on the signs crossed out with the no smoking signs. HAHA! Don't they realize that doing that is just going to make the people you want to be on your side turn on you?! Well; no one accused them of being the sharpest knives in the drawers (NOT THOSE ONES!). Although calling this a riot literally is false; but it's a riot to watch. Drakecula proclaims that conventions are fun as hell and it feels good to have a real purpose in working together to improve life for all monster kind. Quackimodo proclaims that they ran out of water balloons and Drakecula agrees with him. The scene changer continues on as the monsters continue to protest as the limo arrives as Mr. Wolf and the monsters proclaim that they have a cause now as the cinema gives them a bad name; turn people against them, make children afraid and they get nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING from it. Now THAT is a cause I can get behind. Sadly; they are not smart since the word Scroogerama Dome should have given them the hint on who OWNS the cinema; if the purple neon Scrooge picture doesn't ALREADY. Scrooge naturally stammers and admits that HE owns the theater. You have eight monsters who are protesting; and you think it's safe to ADMIT that. It doesn't matter if they are monsters; do you want to go out on the protestors who are protesting your product and come out and ADMIT that?!

Mr. Wolf is pissed as he refuses the financial arrangements and growls and breaks logic by turning into a werewolf again. Scrooge is finished now; but then his saving grace goes as a small little red haired dogperson girl in a red shirt with a blue/yellow star notepad and green pen wants Mr. Wolf's autograph (Joan Gerber). HAHA! She also has red sneaker as he is her favorite monster as more kids surround them and Drakecula cannot believe it as they are loved by kids. More autographs flow as the Quackenstein family pose for the camera man who is a dogperson (who isn't scared at all either) with more kids. And she wants a Muenster cheese with that camera which Open Office actually sees as a pro-noun! Mr. Wolf signs the girl's autograph and the girl hugs and kisses him on the cheek in a really great moment. No tears; but it's the correct booking decision. Mr. Wolf is so taken back that he returns to normal. Scrooge pops from the limo and tells Mr. Wolf that kids love monsters. Scrooge gets out and explains to Mr. Wolf that everyone loves monsters and are popular in demand. Scrooge gathers the monsters around and has a wee idea as they can howl at the moon.

So we cut to the top of the Money Bin AFTER HAPPY HOUR as the spotlights are on and Ping Kong is beating his chest on the far shot. We then pan down as Scrooge thanks the police chief for allowing this and we see them and the crowd behind the barrier as the chief proclaims that he has no problem with a little chaos as long as it is organized. Nice to see the chief actually like certain PR Stunts as he blows off some patrons who cannot stay in line. We then cut to the front gate as Huey is calling for all to get their programs as the crowd enters inside. Louie and Dewey are handing out tickets of course as we cut back to the front of the crowd as Scrooge is talking to Mrs. Beakly who is dressed in a white dress with yellow daisies in her hair. She is complaining about having to do three performances a day. Scrooge tells Mrs. Beakly to chins up since the week is almost over as the spotlight is on her and it is on as Ping Kong grabs Mrs. Beakly (and she is barefoot and is a regular duck by the way) and then climbs up the Money Bin as the crowd is in awe. Mrs. Beakly does some Grade B acting calling for help as the two bystanders from earlier are cowards as usual. We then cut back to the crowd as Mr. Wolf walks in and tells Scrooge that it's another sell out.

There is enough profits in the shares now that they can hold the monster convention anywhere in the world. Mr. Wolf votes for Tokyo, Japan as he turns into a werewolf when he howls. I guess the howling causes him to change and not the moon so the logic break in the morning is popped out of the episode. Drakecula wants Great Neck, New York (A pun on Glen Falls; which is the home of Hacksaw Jim Duggan who was wrestling in the WWE by this time) as Scrooge tells them that they are on next. Damn; I wanted to know where Quackimodo wanted to host the convention next year. The monsters go stage left as Duckworth arrives with the refreshments and Scrooge proclaims that his monster show is a howling success. He has enough profit to rebuild everything and resume making money off of it as Duckworth is screwed again. Duckworth seems to take it well as Scrooge sips from his straw while the crowd ooo's and ah's at Ping Kong beating his chest as he apparently put Mrs. Beakly down (NOT THAT WAY!) on the spotlight shot. Scrooge calls this a colossal wonder instead of a colossal blunder. Duckworth's English accent is pretty thick enough to make it sound like he called Scrooge a pimp (instead of a pip in Disney Captions).

Ooooooo....That is pretty scary to say as Scrooge proclaims that he learned something important from this venture in that nothing packs them in like a live performance; not even a monster movie as we get another pan shot of the Money Bin with Ping Kong before going to the makeshift stage as the spotlight is on the trap door and out pops Mr. Wolf to a pretty good pop. And we end with a Monster Music Number as I am not going to call the spots here. I like Mrs. Quackenstein's scream by the way. It's pretty classy. And yes; the Creature from the Blue Lagoon does speak by the way (I'm guessing Peter Cullen here). Scrooge joins them on stage as they do the Broadway dance of Monsters on Parade which looks like a Russian dance and the crowd pops as the monsters walk away stage left and we cut to Scrooge tipping his hat and twirling his cane stage left to end the episode at 21:15. What an awesome episode this was and the performances of the monsters was so incredible that the logic breaks didn't matter as they were minor. We have our fourth perfect episode and our second straight right here. ***** (100%).


Now Ducktales is really getting into a groove as we have back to back perfect episode for the first time since my TaleSpin rants. The only downgrades in this episode were a few minor mistakes made by Wang Films; but that was it as the performances of the monsters were incredible. We got the cape tripping Drakecula who loves apples (and likes to pin tails on Invisible Men), Quackimodo's love for water balloons (and Scrooge getting one in the kisser when I didn't expect it to), The Flintston-ish Quackensteins complete with wall breaking jogging and Don King hair, THE BLOB~, Mr. Wolf who howls and got red pants and the biggest one Ping Kong who coughs and plays ping pong. Sure; they were all gimmicks, but they were funny gimmicks who had a character side to them; thanks to the angle of being smeared by monster movies. And all this chaos and destruction was all at Scrooge's expense and I laughed at all of it. I also love the nephews acceptance of them as a way to amplify Scrooge's (and the adults) bigotry towards them. We got a funny protest (nothing is funnier than unintentionally making yourselves the target of protest which is completely opposite of what you had intended and it was wrapped around the story of Scrooge coming close to failure on a business venture and then barely coming out on top. This episode lived up to the hype and then some as it was perfectly executed with no contriveness and the monsters looked like the babyface that the writers intended them to be. This is Richard Merwin's best episode to date and I doubt anything will top it for him. So next up is Till Nephews Due As Part. Can we make it three in a row? So.....

Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you next time.


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