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Time Is Money Part One
The Story Arc That Made Ducktales Jump The Shark.
Well kiddies; we finally made it to the third of five multi-part episodes in Ducktales and this is the very first one that introduced us to two new characters to the Ducktales universe. Sadly; by the time this was all over, fans were completely repulsed by at least half of the new duo. I don't know what the writers were thinking when they thought that introducing a duck from caveman times and his dinosaur sidekick was a good idea as it made even Monty look like a pretty decent character. If you want to know why no one has any sympathy for the caveman struggling for respect in our world in those commercials you often see on television nowadays (You know; so easy a caveman can do it?); look no further then the new season of Ducktales. But all this occurred during the peak of Ducktales' popularity. Is Bubba really THAT terrible? Well; let's begin with the first of ten straight episodes based on two stories which introduce as many as five major characters to the universe and find out shall we...?!
This episode is written by Jymn Magon and Bruce Talkington. The story is edited by Jymn Magon and the teleplay was done by Bruce Talkington.
Opening Moment #1: The Disney Television Animation brass decided that it was time for a new opening to introduce a new character to the series. It's basically the same opening with the same song; but they replaced four really cool shots with four REALLY STUPID shots.
Example #1: Remember
Gyro's awesome training wheels lance sequence? It's been replaced
with Bubba The Cave Duck slipping on a banana peel while holding an
egg. Which he no sells anything. Yeah; who's idea was it to kill the
Example #2: Huey running away from the Beagle Boy Fire Breathing Dragon dressed up as a matador. Which is replaced with Bubba in a Junior Woodchuck hat (which is lame) and one with Bubba beating the head of an Asian warrior (BIGOT!). The second shot was actually the best one featuring Bubba and that's not saying much.
Example #3: Huey's escape up the cliff with the Beagle Boys chasing him which is a really awesome spot and that is replaced by an ultra lame shot of Bubba being scared by a T-Rex and then running away. And then they really grind my gears by replacing the high five robot hockey construction players with a shot of Webby hugging and getting licked by Tootsie. Why replace the coolest shot of the opening with one of the worst shots in the opening? What is Gary Krisel thinking? I think they replaced that shot later on with Bubba doing a dance which somehow is WORSE. The Scrooge hat grabbing from a train cart spot is still kept and that one could have been replaced. Why not just half the number of shots since Bubba isn't a focus character except in this story arc? Give one for Bubba and one for Tootsie and be done with it. I believe this opening kept going until Super Ducktales and then they replaced more shots with Gizmo Duck.
Opening Moment #2: The title card for this episode is Marking Time. Okay; that one is making sense considering the events. I just wish Scrooge never did this in hindsight.
We officially begin this one with the pan shot of the desert as we head to the edge of the sea as we see Flint and Scrooge bicker about selling something. Hmmm; where did we see this before? Oh yeah; Cash As Catch Can episode #1. We cut to the camp as Scrooge calls Flint a bandit and accepts the offer at 20 as the nephews in their Junior Woodchuck hats look on. That was complete with can stabbing as Flint chuckles on that because he knew he would be stupid enough to pay for something useless. He gives Scrooge the western most island (which is shaped like Donald's head by the way) for $20 million dollars and Scrooge offers $10 million out of his hat which means the four bills he gave total $5 million a piece. So there are $5 million dollar bills in the Alternative U.S.A then? Okkkkkkkkaaaayyyy. He talks about his good hat as Flint gives him the deed as he has until noon on Friday to pay him the other ten million or the deal is off of course and the down payment is gone. Sadly; Flint doesn't add the stipulation of Scrooge eating his stereotypical hat of course. Flint chuckles again as he boards his cruise ship as Flint continues to laugh on board and Scrooge proclaims that he hopes that the bean counting machine blows up in his face.
Flint calls him all wet as his cruise ship turns into the world largest sea-doo and naturally Scrooge eats water waves. HAHA! Scrooge spits out some water for fun as the nephews arrive with the map (which doesn't talk like it does in the LAW OF DORA) and Dewey is confused as the other islands are worth a fortune. Webfoot Island (as seen in the shot which has a Ferris Wheel and some weird water slides coming from the island) is a world famous resort complete with animated sailboat. Dewey points out that Pinkfeather Island pumps out ten million barrels of salad oil a year. I guess salad oil is becoming the new crude oil of the week. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! And we get a shot of the island to force the point. The nephews wonder why he would pay Mr. Sneakypants a fortune in a worthless island as we pan over to a rock near the pier as it rises and out comes the camera to watch on. We then cut to inside the room of Flint's cruise ship as Flint is sitting back in his high tech chair watching the television camera complete with enough red buttons on a console to start a war. Scrooge and the nephews walk off the docks back to camp as he states that he has yet to make a bad business deal and he isn't going to start now. He decides to show them the secret as the helicopter rock camera follows them.
We then go to the entrance of the scary cave as Scrooge and the nephews (in dark shadows no less) walk in while Scrooge explains that he was trespassing....ERRR...I mean checking out the island last week as the cave contains fossils and bones. The nephews are in awe as Huey tries on a dinosaur bone mask on for fun as they have hit the mother-lode of merit badges. Dewey takes pictures of the side gray wall with a craving out of stone as those must have been tough times. I see that they are already foreshadowing the debut of the new characters already. Scrooge blows it off because it's no more dangerous. See; Flintheart and dinosaur have about the same brain and Flint is a big fat cheater unlike a dinosaur. Okay; he didn't say that cheating part; but it is implied knowing this series. Huey giggles on that one when Scrooge knocks on bone and Flint takes exception to that one.
Louie wonders why Scrooge would buy a cave filled with just rocks and Scrooge grabs two black stones and uses the cane to crumble them and they shine into diamonds. Umm; yeah I'm buying that one Scroogie. Dewey and Louie gets them to look at and Huey is in awe again. I'm guessing Flintheart is getting steamed at this point. Scrooge then proclaims that it is not as he USES THE CANE on a big ass black stone and it turns into the world shinest diamond in QUAKERIA as it blinds the camera and forces Flint to bail behind the chair. Flint then jumps up and gets his SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT to put on as he realizes that he has been out done by that cash cobra. HAHA! Flint then stops the camera and decides to blow up the beak of the island as he demonstrates when he goes to the computer screen of his island chain. Yeah; when in doubt, cheat. I see he cheated by magically taking off the sunglasses too. He does the cut throat signal and then gets onto the phone wanting the Beagle Boys. Because you just cannot have a multi-part story arc without them.
So we cut to the island AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Scrooge and the nephews are sleeping in the tent in their sleeping bags. Scrooge of course gets the Scottish style sleeping bag while the nephews get the white ones. Scrooge is so giddy to harvest his diamonds that he even uses a diamond as a pillow. You have to be insane to try that in real life. He tries to sleep; but then the radio somehow turns on and Scrooge wakes up protesting. HAHA! The nephews brought their red boom box as they want to listen to a tape of the Screamin' Sky McFly show (which Disney Captions calls Screamin' Sty McFly for goodness knows what reason) as the screaming forces Scrooge up right away and the nephews move to the beat (Terry McGovern is Sky McFly by the way) and McFly reminds them to get rude, dude and to bop till you drop crazies as we do a pan shot of outside the pump tent. HAHA! So we cut to a far shot of the pump tent as the music is STILL GOING ON while we see nearby a CACTUS JACK OF DOOM Big Time, Bouncer and Burger with the pick axes and the PORNO BARRELS OF LAUGHS (Helpfully labeled XXX as such) as they practice the fine art of not being seen; but Burger's bare feet keep screwing them. HAHA!
Big Time blows off Burger's squeaky shoes as Burger gleefully answers that one for me. Which is countered with Big Time whacking his barefoot with the shovel and damn; that was a weak shot. They continue on as the squeaky feet continue and then we cut to Big Time inserting sticks of TNT into DA...HOLE (God bless Baby Plucky) as Bouncer inserts some dynamite in the barrels for good measure and then Burger squeaks and pick some holes in the ground while Big Time inserts the TNT sticks. They are as deadly as cancer sticks you know. AHHAHAHAHAHA! So we go to morning as we cut to Flint as the plunger as the Beagle Boys return with the lead wires as the plan is set to cheat and screw Scrooge out of his MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. I see Burger is still not yet fixed his squeaky feet. Big Time gives Flint the wire as this is a lovely day for an explosion. I'm sure Grimitz would be proud; after all, he does love stuff going kablooey (until projection happens to him of course). Flint simply wires the box and calls it a wakeup call. So he proceeds to invoke the plunger and the island explodes, DUH! There is hellfire and brimstone on the island as it cracks into two and the ocean water channels in. So we cut to Scrooge and the nephews waking up in the tent as ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE. Scrooge looks outside and orders the nephews to abandon tent as they sell and the big ass rock falls on the tent squashing the boom box and everything else inside. Dewey gets off Quote Gem #1 of the episode....
Dewey: Somebody's trying to rock us to sleep.
I don't care if he didn't say death; that is so funny and so ironic on SO MANY LEVELS. Everyone runs into the cave as Scrooge drops on his face about ten feet inside and pants. Scrooge is ticked off and wants to MURDER the one who did this. And here comes Flintheart and his Beagle Boys as Flint tells him not to fuss since it's not his property anymore. That look at 6:28 on the DVD is downright creepy to say the least. The nephews point out the obvious for us as Scrooge protests this outrage because he bought the island fair and square. Which is true; but Flint is a dirty cheater so I'm sure that he will point out that he own the western most part of the island which is now the duck bill. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good. Complete with deed I might add. Bouncer tells them to make like a bakery truck and haul buns. Scrooge claims that he'll be back and Flint hopes he does because he owes him ten million dollars and then chuckles. Considering that Scrooge is $70 billion rich; he could have paid the ten million and be done with it; but then again, he would lose out because Flint is still a dirty cheater and everyone knows that he is cheater.
So we head to Gyro's place as Scrooge asks Gyro if there is some way to put that island back together as we get a shot of a typewriter using the iron tentacles (Wii blue and banana yellow just to bug me.) and then we pan over as a robot is zooming around and Gyro is fixing something. Gyro cannot put the island back together without tilting QUACKERIA and that is deadly see. It would be death by falling bookshelves. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! The nephews are looking at the table as they see some models of Gyro's plot device (The Time Machine Helicopter that looks like an alarm clock) and it disappears on cue after some pretty good special effects. Scrooge blows off the nephews for playing around and wants them to think of something. See Gyro is working on a portable phone booth; but he cannot figure out where to put the coin slot. HAHA! Ironically; we got the Nintendo DS and Gameboy out of this idea. No coin slot needed; just a cart slot and it was good to go as the pop culture guys would say. Scrooge sulks on that one as he goes to wall feeling that he is losing his touch. Geez Scroogie; you think it's bad now, wait until after these five episodes are over. Then you won't be the only one who has lost his touch.
The nephews continue to watch the disappearing clocks umm..disappear as Huey asks what they are. Gyro proclaims that he is discovered a new element called bombastium. That sounds like hydrogen to me Gyro which was the first element discovered. You seem to be drinking from Professor Buzz's coffee cup again. Gyro then pulls out a glowing neon like popsicle (which Open Office doesn't see as a word by the way) and Gyro thought it was a glow in the dark ice pop treat. When he applied power to it (touching the stick) it disappears as Gyro looks like he is a zombie right now. HEE HEE! Scrooge slides down on his ass sulking some more. Scrooge wonders if he could go be in time and stop the explosion as we cut to Gyro and nephews looking through the history books as he shows a picture of the Ancient Egyptians worshiping a ice pop treat as their god (see the ice pop at the top of the picture) and Scrooge suddenly gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY. Scrooge goes over to Gyro and asks him if he could invent a time machine that can send him back in time to stop the explosion. Gyro actually goes over to the big ass surprise covered in Linus' big ass blue blanket. Gyro opens it to reveal the Millennium Shortcut (a helicopter shaped like an alarm clock with a dollar sign on the side which indicates that he was going to sell it to Scrooge at some point even before he asked for it.) and it really looks cool.
So we head inside as Scrooge looks at the controls and is concerned as he thinks he needs an octopus to fly this thing. Gyro then proclaims that there is only one pilot suitable for the job. UH OH! I think we all know who he is. Where have we seen this before? Oh yeah; Treasure of the Golden Suns Episode #3. Scrooge blows him off for telling him that it was Launchpad. We get another scene changer as LP checks the freezer as there is no soda pop in there. HAHA! Scrooge pulls him away (on his ass no less) before more damage can be done to his beak which is frozen solid. HEE HEE! Scrooge tells LP to pay attention to how to operate this thing as Gyro enters with the ice pop treat of doom as it's the bombastium fuel; and it works as long as it stays frozen. Now that is effective fuel since you never run out basically. LP is confused as he wants to write some of it down and steals Gyro's laser pen. We know it's a laser pen because Gyro is yelling at LP not to use it. LP pushes on the button and shoots himself in the foot. HAHA! LP does the foot grabbing spot as Scrooge grabs the pen as Gyro explains that the laser pen is used to slice cold butter. Gyro apparently put in too strong a battery (Riiiiiigggghhhhtttt Gyro?!) and Scrooge offers to keep the pen out of reach of children not called the nephews. HAHA! Okay; I made up the last part; but it's clearly implied due to the fact that Scrooge is looking that LP the whole time. Oh wait; Scrooge really did SAY that as he puts it in his suit.
We go to the cockpit up front as Gyro inserts the bombastium into the freezing chamber under glass (stick down of course) and then set the destination. He then pushes the middle four black island for Duckbill Island. Gyro asks for the time and LP checks his watch and states that it's 10:30. HAHA! Gyro gleefully answers that one for me as LP giggles it off much to Scrooge's disdain. Scrooge wants to go three days back in time for this affair. Gyro pushes the invisible buttons as states that they are off to three days ago. Gyro then tells them to the left lever (WRONG LEVER!) when they are ready to go. Gyro walks off saying good luck to them as Scrooge asks LP if he can handle this as LP goes to the front and proclaims that it is easy as carrot cake. UH OH! This is not going to go well for Scrooge; I just know it. Sadly; he pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and pushes buttons like crazy because he does have to get his fatalism in at some point and the Shortcut takes a shortcut through Gyro's lab. HAHA! He destroys the place and the roof of course as it takes off like a rocket as we get a neat sky shot visual before Launchpad gets off Quote Gem #2 for the episode....
Launchpad: Hey, congratulate me. That was my first crash from takeoff!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh boy! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's too bad the poisonous cave boy leech is going to take over at some point; because LP is having a blast. Scrooge gleefully blows off his mother for THAT one. Funny thing is; we DID see Launchpad's family in Ducktales at some point. Something none of the TaleSpin main characters (minus Louie's aunt) had. And no, Baloo's misadventures in the Balooest of Bluebloods does not count. They may be his decedents; but they are not his immediate family. Scrooge grabs the left lever (WRONG LEVER!) and tells them to hang on to their wallets (nice way of saying ass by the way.) as Louie proclaims that it's time to go. He pulls on it and we get a pretty lame sequence of the time machine disappearing (the old rainbow zoom trick) as the sky flashes while Gyro looks on from the window. Of course in real life; the bright flash would engulf the room as well so we have our first logic break of the episode and story arc at the ten minute mark. The flash stops as we cut to the sky shot with clouds over the ISLAND OF THE PAST as the Shortcut reappears from a Wii blue light and LP wants the number of the cement mixer.
They land down as the nephews point out that there are in the past three days ago; and LP proclaims that they are in deep crap now because an jet plane is headed RIGHT FOR THEM. Scrooge yells at LP to do something and I'm betting that he pushes the buttons, pulls the left lever (WRONG LEVER!) and takes them back to at least 65 million BC. I check the DVD...Almost; Launchpad actually flings the big hand on the magically appearing clock in the back of the cockpit about 1000 rotations. WHAT THE HELL? That makes no sense at all considering that the Shortcut didn't have any of that when we first saw it. That is logic break #2 for the episode and a big one at that. Scrooge tries to scream at him but no dice as it is way too late as the Shortcut disappears before the wings clip it (or they get clipped depending on your poison) and that ends the segment nearly 11 minutes in. That pretty much ends the awesome stuff of the story arc right there.
After the commercial break; we break the ice at once as we are clearly on the island in 65 million BC as the pterodactyls are screeching and howling as a volcano is smoking outside (AND THAT IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING AND ANY EPISODE INVOLVING A CAVE DUCK!). We go to the pan shot and then finally at 10:52 into the DVD; we finally see what would prove to be the biggest horror in Ducktales history as a red haired cave duck in skins is running away from a T-Rex (Frank Welker on all animal vocals here). Folks; welcome to the Bubba Duck era, the lowest point in Ducktales history according to many of the fans. The interesting part about this was that Bubba was compared to Scrappy Doo in terms are being absolutely crappy beyond belief; except Scrappy somewhat redeem himself in 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo; but by then it was too late and he became the uber monster heel in the live action Scooby Doo movie. I don't know which one; it's hard to tell when I haven't had the guts to watch live action remakes in full bloom. I did see Scrappy in one of them though while flipping channels which surprised me actually since I thought Scrappy was too poisonous to use AT ALL.
Bubba is a bigger stereotype than Scrappy ever was in that he was a cave duck who acted like one. In other words; he is like Monty which is that he is a gimmick character at best. Now if Bubba appeared in just the story arc and was left in his own time; Bubba would have been fine as his story arc debut was actually really decent (similar to the Monty situation in To The Rescue). Sadly; the (spoilers here) writers seriously believed that Bubba was ratings gold and they did pretty much the same ending that I would later see in the major story arc for Fairly Oddparents (The one where Crocker captures the fairies and rules the world) in that the parents found out about the fairies (which ends the series since the fairies would disappear from Timmy's life under DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!).); however everyone's memory is erased (at least they intentionally showed it instead of having it OUT OF NOWHERE) and go back to status quo to continue the series to this day.
So Bubba got pretty much a season to work with and as fans discovered for themselves; gimmicks sell T-shirts, characters sell tickets and Bubba was such a gimmick (and a major character from there on) that it made Ducktales jump the shark and they never recovered from it. Even when Gizmo Duck came; even when the GOLD WAVE OF DEATH two part episode came; even the Metal Mites; even the Ducktales Movie came, it was no good anymore. Bubba ruined Ducktales and maybe was indirectly responsible for Rescue Ranger's demise as well as Monty was basically in the same mold; only more likable due to his violent temper and BS stories. Although unlike Bubba who was mostly used as a tag along for the most part; Monty had many stories built around him to make him look like Super Mouse and try to get over in which he failed. Strangely; Tootsie who is Bubba's sidekick turned out to be more over than Bubba even though she was basically a gimmick transport character for the most part. Both characters are voiced by Frank Welker by the way.
So we continue on as it is the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE T-REX EDITION~! I'll give the writers this; at least they are willing to tease Bubba's death for us; even though we know it isn't going to happen. Bubba sees the conveintly placed big ass oranges of doom and uses them to fling right into the mouth of T-Rex. Well; that was an epic failure if I ever saw one. Bubba blows a raspberry (weak!) and then runs away as he is cornered between a rock and a hard T-Rex. Nice MAN-SIZED bump with the head by Bubba into the stone mountain by the way. Bubba groans as he is down and for Ducktales hopefully will die right soon. Keep dreaming fools. The T-Rex slobbers as he tries to go in for the kill as Bubba backs up against the stone mountain and cowers in fear; but his saving grace comes as the electrical buzzing beckons and in comes the Shortcut behind the T-Rex and it MURDERS the T-Rex's tail on impact. HAHA! Oh that cooky LP. T-Rex screams like a girl and whimpers as his tail is broken and he runs away stage northeast and sells a head injury. Explain THAT one kids?!
The Shortcut is steaming (probably from Scrooge being pissed off by LP's stupidity.) as Bubba is in awe. Bubba goes over to check and then bails while speaking in caveman (HA!) as LP asks if Scrooge wants him to go out first. Scrooge tells him no because some idiot would think that he is the brains of the operation. I don't think that is possible Mr. McD. The entire ship shines like a diamond as the back opens and out comes Scrooge McDuck in the shining light. Okay; I can understand why they would overbook this; but it is not going to save Bubba in any way. Bubba appears from the rock and then bows to his master. Scrooge McDuck or Michael Eisner? Does it really matter at this point? Scrooge ignores him and looks at the trees wondering where they came from. And naturally he trips over Bubba and takes a lame pratfall. Oh please Scroogie! You could clearly see him even if the light was shining on thee. The nephews come out and ask if he's all right. Huey asks who it is and Bubba addresses himself as Bubba and starts harassing Scrooge. This became a recurring theme throughout the episode and it basically exposes Bubba as a gimmick.
Scrooge blows him off and tries to order him to stop making him pet on the head. It's nice to know Scrooge has some dignity in not making characters look like they came from the pet store. Scrooge wonders where they are as it doesn't look anywhere near his island as we go to the zoom out shot. Dewey proclaims that Gyro machine states that they are on his island. Bubba continues to make Scrooge pet him and Scrooge drops him like a bad habit with a wussy bump. Scrooge goes to the ladder as Bubba gets on all fours and follows him. Launchpad states that the little hand is on one million years BC. Now you know you are in QUACKERIA when dinosaurs and ducks were in the same era. In real life; the dinosaurs would be gone completely. Now I see why creationists (and Pat “Is he Gribbit's Son?”) get this era wrong. They think Flintstones was a documentary. Never mind that the cartoon is not a LIVE-ACTION show to begin with. Can you say FACE PALM?! I knew you could. The dong sound comes out (Al Khan gets bright idea #345 from it) and Scrooge cannot believe that they have traveled back that far in time. Dewey notices the dino birds screeching and proclaims that it can happen since this is Gyro after all.
So we go to the scene changer as Scrooge looks like he is in Hawaii and he sulks about trying to stop an explosion and he misses it by a million years; give or take three days of course. Bubba enters with a piece of stone and drops it near his feet. He then does the force pet spot and calls him Scooge. Okay; there's Bubba's second funny spot right there. The first is the force pet spot. Scrooge is not amused as he has been adopted by a kid who shampoos with swamp water. Man; I shudder to think how he would respond to Kit Cloudkicker now. So Huey does the Inspector Gadget eyes spot as he refers to the LIBERAL RED BOOK OF LIES THE KIDS EDTION~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...I mean the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook and Huey explains that it means Bubba pledges you his eternal devotion. So you can blame the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook for making Ducktales jump the shark then! I told you that book was nothing but trouble. Scrooge is not amused by that one either. Scrooge grabs the stone and notices that it has Bubba's face on it. He wonders if it's a Stone Age Valentine. Somehow; someone in BS&P is starting to get less amused as this episode is going on. Ironic; considering that they green lighted Bubba in the first place.
Huey calls it Bubba marker and that takes BS&P right out of it right away. It means everything thing he owes belongs to him. Probably for the Shortcut saving his ass from the T-Rex. Funny considering that LP was the one who started all this. Now that would have made for a better story arc. Not a better series mind you; but still a better story arc. Scrooge is shocked to hear that but out comes the MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN as if he can find the diamond cave and leave his marker and it won't matter to Flint if the cave is in a thousand pieces as he drives the Bubba marker down just to force the points. One; that he doesn't like Bubba and two he doesn't like Flintheart much better. LP is eating a banana the entire time like the idiot that he is and calls this brilliant. That is not a good sign for Scrooge if LP is approving of this plan. LP throws the banana peel away as Scrooge and the gang try to leave before Bubba comes back (Huh? I didn't even know that he left to begin with?) and Bubba of course comes back and Scrooge sulks over it as we see Bubba with the big ass egg (again from the opening earlier) and he slips onto the banana peel and I'm betting it cracks open right on Scrooge's pinhead. I check the DVD.....Damn; I'm good as Scrooge is not amused by that one either.
Again; this was pretty funny at first; but that is ALL Bubba can do and it gets driven into the ground faster and longer than Your Baloo's In The Mail. Bubba comes over and removes the banana peel and does the...say it with me..forced petting spot apologizing for the oopsie moment. LP's stance in the scene shows that he likes it when the heat is off him and onto Bubba. I wouldn't be so happy with that idea LP. See DARKWING...DUCK. Scrooge takes out a quarter and bribes him with it. He wants Bubba to go home see. Scrooge is a total idiot as Bubba gets home confused and then grabs Scrooge and walks away. HAHA! Well; this story arc was the funniest time Bubba ever was so I might as well enjoy it before the real crap comes in episode #3. Scrooge calls him a pea brain prehistoric. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Psychological projection much there Scroogie?! Scrooge yells for help as he loses his Hawaii gear and the nephews and Launchpad follow.
So we logically go to Bubba's cave as he runs with Scrooge in tow inside. Bubba then throws him down with a decent bump on Scrooge's ass. HAHA! Scooge is now home. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummmm...The babyfaces run in as Scrooge demands that he gives back his quarter and calls him a kidnapper. Umm; Scooge: Drake Mallard clearly kidnapped Gosalyn in Dawnly Dawns the Duck in Darkwing Duck. This is not kidnapping; this is man napping. AHHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummm....And then the nephews point out that Bubba lives in his diamond mine and Scrooge gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY. Scrooge then pets Bubba on the head as Bubba takes it like a good little kid. Well; Bubba did give EVERYTHING he owns to Scrooge when he saved his ass; so it makes perfect sense. Scrooge asks if Bubba wants a personal autograph on the wall. His spots are pretty cute as he agrees to it hook, line and sinker.
So Scrooge tries to use the pen laser onto the conveniently placed rock and the rock turns into a dinosaur. Okay; that was pretty convincing as Tootsie holds his ass on that one. He goes into Bubba's arm and it's Scooby Doo scare spot time. Man; that is so uncanny to someone I know from a previous HB series. Oh wait; I know: Scrappy Doo. Bubba cuddles him like a mother hen as the nephews point out the obvious and LP hopes she has her shots. And so Bubba punishes him by using Tootsie's foot to MURDER LP's foot. HAHA! So Bubba was the one who taught Molly how to mask her intentions by acting like a moron. There's Bubba's one major contribution to DTVA right there. Launchpad does the foot grabbing spot as Launchpad proclaims that she smashed his tootsy. And of course Bubba didn't name his pet in advance; so he calls her Tootsie now (Frank Welker again). Huey points out the obvious as Dewey slides in with a lump of coal as Louie blows him off because QUACKERIA science indicates that they don't become diamonds for another million years.
Scrooge isn't happy since he wants to take something priceless back. Huey consults the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook as we zoom out to see a large bone structure of a dinosaur which Scrooge thinks it's leftovers from a Texas BBQ. What a lame response that was considering the time period that they are currently in. Huey calls them the bones of a Rogetthesaurus. It is worth one million dollars to the Duckberg Museum. Not enough to pay back Flintheart; but it is a start anyway. The cash register sound goes off in Scrooge's head and that will really stew Flint's tomatoes so to speak. Ummm; yeah. He tells LP to load up the bones into the Shortcut right away as LP salutes him without question. We then cut to see Scrooge proclaiming that he is going to leave something for Flint to remember him by. Scrooge invokes the laser pen and craves out a dollar sign to prove that the cave is his...and of course Bubba does some piggy backing to bug Scrooge again. Scrooge tells the nephews to get Bubba away from him so he can work on finishing the work that needs to be done. So the nephews (Louie to be precise) puts in the tape to their red boom box and asks Bubba to listen to some tunes. Bubba is confused by this as Louie turns the radio on and it's Sky McFly again with more talking than actual rock and roll music. Bubba loves the music and dances like a goof. Well; it doesn't take much to amuse him which I expected from the start.
So we cut to a passage in the cave as Scrooge has laser craved about nine dollar signs on the walls of the cave as Scrooge calls this the last marker. Somehow I doubt that this is going to work; but we will see. And then LP runs in panicking as the fuel is melting on a stick like ice cubes in Egypt because the freezer is busted. Nice CONTINUITY from earlier in the episode by the way. They run out of the cave as Scrooge panics because they would be stuck here forever. NO?! REALLY?! Scrooge wants to know where the nephews are and LP states that he sent them off with Bubba. Scrooge panics as they could be anywhere on the island; but Bubba's howling stops that theory cold. Scrooge then blames Bubba for getting the nephews in deep trouble. Yeah; it's the true start to the Scrooge hates Bubba routine that they would drive into the ground so much that if my previous viewings of this episode are correct would be the first time Scrooge's family turns on him. Scrooge and LP run into the camera in search of the nephews and that ends the segment 17 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head into the prehistoric jungle swamp as LP is carrying Scrooge on his back. Wow; and Scrooge complained that Bubba was doing the same thing to HIM?! The rock music gets louder as Sky McFly's singing as so laughably bad that you could accuse him of being a hair band. At least back in 1987; the bad music was ON PURPOSE unlike today where there is an acute lack of talent. We then see that LP and Scrooge are stupid as the kids and dinosaur are dancing and rocking just for their amusement. Just not Scrooge's amusement though. Scrooge wants answers to this outrage (MUSIC HATER!) and Bubba finally strings his first true sentence of the episode right there. And you just knew rock and roll would be the cause of it. I don't know if I should be happy for him or strangling him at this point. He throws himself into Scrooge into the embrace position and Scrooge is sulking as he has been listening to Screamin' Sky McFly (which Captions still sees it as Sty.) according to the nephews. Scrooge calls this cruelty to animals. That means only Tootsie is harmed under that logic Scroogie. You are just a rock and roll hater. Figures knowing you. Scrooge tells them that they must leave before the bombastium melts.
So we head back to the area where Bubba was being chased by the T-Rex and the Shortcut has completely disappeared. UH OH! Maybe the fuel got tainted and some power caused it to disappear into certain nothingness. And I betcha Scrooge blames Bubba for that one. Thankfully; he doesn't here as he searches around but no dice is in sight. Huey suggests that Bubba help them find it. Scrooge blows off that suggestion because he couldn't drive nails into a snowdrift. Okay; that is really stupid considering that most people cannot do that anyway. I think Scrooge should have said drive a laser into cold butter. Then that would have paid off the joke about the laser pen and make sense. Dewey states that this is Bubba's turf as they are starting to slowly see the “I hate Bubba” attitude coming out of Scrooge now. Huey claims that he can find the whisper in the wind and he's now an honorary Junior Woodchuck. Which means as much as a laser going into cold butter. In other words; not much if at all. Bubba salutes on command and Woodchuck must be weeping in his grave right now. Scrooge accepts him and the kids cheer for victory over the fuddy duddy. Scrooge walks off as Huey tells Bubba to find a time machine. Bubba puts on his thinking finger (HA!) and then goes Oooga and then starts acting like Scooby Doo. And then he tells everyone to stay tuned as he found the scent. Ooooookkkkkkayyyy. Bubba runs stage right as the nephews state that he found the trail. Everyone follows him with the nephews riding on Tootsie in tow. Yeap; this is turning into a Scooby Doo episode now.
So we heads for the swamp as Bubba is sniffing the area and it sure smells FOWL. He walks under the swamp and then comes up from the swamp doing the dog flicking spot to amuse me somewhat. He then howls at the moon (a sure sign of being a lunatic) and then runs over behind the purple bushes and sees the T-Rex using a big ass boulder as he tries to MURDER the Shortcut on top of a hill. Man; he must be a hypocritical little irony to be doing that. Everyone else comes in as Scrooge proclaims that there isn't much time and he has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN in store. He asks for as many bananas as he can find as we go to the scene changer and see Launchpad near a tree of banana as he is eating them one by one while peeling the peels so to speak. He throws the banana peel into the pile as he has had enough of eating them. HAHA! You didn't have to eat them; just un-peel them. Scrooge is right; you are now officially an airhead. And Louie gleefully states the obvious to him just to make it even more funny. Louie grabs the peels and walks off as LP throws one away and blows him off for not telling him. Somehow; he is completely immune to the obvious. At least he is gaining some weight as we cut back to the T-Rex pounding on the shortcut with his injured tail like an alarm clock. HAHA! See; make the joke and then pay it off.
So we cut back to the nephews placing the banana peels on the runway as that is the last load and it's time to give the signal. Dewey waves his hands as we head to ground level as Scrooge uses his cane and LP tells Bubba and Tootsie to let it fly. So we pan over to see Tootsie pitching some conveniently placed big ass oranges (or melons depending on your point of view) and Bubba uses his club and whacks them as they nail the T-Rex right in the kisser. That is some selective logic there guys. The T-Rex stops selling and he is PISSED (what a shock?) and takes one right between the eyes for fun. Bubba mocks the T-Rex as it growls and I'm certain that he slips on all the banana peels and takes the big ass bump to end all big ass bumps. I check the DVD....He only SLIDES away...BOO HISS to BS&P. Land Before Time 1 was much more manly than you (and I betcha this episode was created to MOCK Don Blunt. That REALLY worked well in hindsight. NOT!). Launchpad waves goodbye when they return after bailing to allow the T-Rex to slide away out of sight. Everyone gets up to the top of the hill as Scrooge wants to get the hell out of here before Jerkzilla finds them again. And then the nephews stop him. Why? Because they want Tootsie and Bubba to come with them. Scrooge calls this crazy. Why the hell did NO ONE LISTEN TO HIM?! The nephews claim that they are friends. Yeah; and Bubba is in the entertainment business and he sucks. Scrooge proclaims that they don't belong in his time and in hindsight; Scrooge turns out to be the babyface of this one. If the nephews don't accept this then I will lose all respect for them.
They accept it (thank goodness- that's all I ask of them. It doesn't matter if they don't like it.) as Scrooge tells them to say goodbye and we get another pathos moment with the goodbyes. I got to admit; the writers are doing a really good job in trying to make this work and it is working. Too bad they pissed this moment away by having Bubba hitchhike onto the Shortcut. Russi Taylor's acting of the children is top notch as usual. No one can accuse her of trying to make this convincing. Like I said; I don't mind middle age woman voicing children roles; even boys because it often works in comedy situations. However; when pathos are involved, no matter how great the actress is; I still feel cheated. Maybe that is due to hindsight and seeing the amount of foresight Jymn Magon did with TaleSpin a few years after this. Bubba gets the red boom box as a gift as the nephews explain to him that they have to go home now. Bubba does the force petting spot on Scrooge again as he states that they are going home.
He pets Bubba in a really good moment and says so long to him as Scrooge walks into the Shortcut and the door closes. We then head into the cockpit as Scrooge puts in the Fuel Pop Treat of Doom (stick side down of course) as he tells LP to get them into the air and out of this time era. LP sells it as he pushes some blue buttons (logic break #4 for the episode since they were black earlier) and pulls a few levers (WRONG LEVERS!) as we see Bubba knocking on metal and crying go. And then here comes the T-REX as he uses the tail which they dodge easily. Bubba gets on Tootsie and bails as the T-Rex uses his mouth to drag down the Shortcut when it tries to rise. We continue the struggle with LP as he blows off the dinosaur bones as Bubba and Tootsie return behind the dinosaur as LP wants the bones dumped and Scrooge is against it because they are worth a fortune. Why? It's the T-REX causing the drag; not the dinosaur bones. Just LOOK to YOUR LEFT YOU AIRHEADS!! So what do the nephews say to him next? Why? Because it happens in nearly every fifth episode in this series. And Scrooge admits defeat and sulks. He tells LP to dump the bones and this is REALLY STUPID on their part. Bubba and Tootsie ride onto the dinosaur's head and he bashes his head a few times with some really weak shots; but the power of suggestion allows the Shortcut to fly away.
And naturally we cut to the nephews using the lever out back (WRONG LEVER!) and the bones get dumped (as they say bombs away which is a CONTINUITY ERROR from previous episodes) onto the dinosaur as the T-Rex eats bonehead. He growls and cannot shake the bonehead as Bubba and Tootsie hang onto the back end of the Shortcut. So we cut to the cockpit as Scrooge tells LP to get them out of here as Launchpad presses some buttons and it's a count down as Bubba and Tootsie enter the Shortcut from the back side. The door closes and Bubba is just outside of the cockpit as Huey notices him right away. Scrooge then turns around and then blames Bubba for the bad take off and dumping of the bones. OH TAG! What a dumb ass finish this is?! The T-Rex was at fault first of all for the dragging; it's your fault that you didn't NOTICE that and realize how dumb you and the nephews were in DUMPING the bones. Bubba hugs Scooge (as Bubba would say) and Scrooge pushes him back because he cost him a million dollars. I cannot believe that I am taking BUBBA's side on this; but let's face it, he saved Scrooge's ass. Sadly; Scrooge doesn't realize that the countdown is over and the Shortcut goes into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHA!) through time. And that officially ends part one quickly at 21:07. Great start, decent middle; terrible horrible finish. And Bubba's suck levels were kept completely in check and I'm warming to the guy. Then again; I warmed up to Monty in his pilot episode and look where he headed. **** (80%).
Closing Moment #1: We even get a PREVIEW of episode #2 of this story arc! It's funny how this might be the only story arc in DTVA that got one. I guess they decided that the episode wasn't completed. Even funnier is that Keone Young does voice here in the preview; but his name doesn't appear in the credits for this one. By the way; I'm taking that this is a given for the rest of the story arc so I won't comment on it anymore unless that changes for some reason. Besides; there is zero context to any of the scenes presented so I won't spoil them until we do the next rant. Oh; and Will Ryan is doing the narration here despite him not being credited either.
THE REVIEW LINE
And so we end the first of ten straight multiple part episodes with a good one. I felt that they handled Bubba's introduction well along with Tootsie's; and plus in the end I felt some sympathy for Bubba if only due to the fact that the finish was horrible in that the obvious logic break was that Launchpad could have clearly saw the T-Rex along with Scrooge and it led to redoing the same spot that they do about once every fifth episode and it was horribly forced since Bubba actually nailed the T-Rex (and be clearly shown doing it) BEFORE the nephews threw the bones out. It was Scrooge's and the nephews fault for being so dumb. Despite the bad finish; Bubba actually did very well for himself; but that won't last long since the first two episodes were actually very well written. It is the third and fourth episodes where the real crap of Bubba starts. I thought the Shortcut was a little bland; but the fuel make of neon ice pop treats was the real hook for the time machine so it worked out really well. And although I am getting tired of the usual plot line of Flint cheating on Scrooge after a payment; at least there isn't a bet involved although they played it as if it was a bet. And the Beagle Boys are still very cool (Burger squeaky feet is so fitting; no wonder the Beagle Boys never win). A few logic breaks were in; but the animation was in fact dead on most of the time which is great to see from Wang. Really good color shading as well which really look good. So this is a real good start and we go on to episode #2 as it's The Duck Who Would Be King, aka Finding Johnny Bravo's soul mate. So.....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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