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Super Ducktales Part One
Because Regular Ducktales Cannot Contain Fenton's Ego....
So now the Bubba story arc has ended and the show had jumped the shark; the writers needed something to make up for it for the NBC debut of the Wonderful World of Disney. I believe this is the first DTVA movie to run on the Wonderful World of Disney about a year before Plunder and Lightning did. And really from a character standpoint at least; they got the job done with the debut of three new characters which included the debut of a mallard who makes Darkwing Duck look like the weak ass that he is. Welcome to Super Ducktales; the ego of Fenton Crackshell; aka Gizmo Duck. This story arc actually made some historic benchmark in forbidden content as well; which Toon Disney snipped for it's 1995 run as you will see. It is also really the first big episode for Ma Beagle as well. Now to be perfectly honest; I stopped watching Ducktales in any meaningful way at this point when I was a kid since Rescue Rangers was getting more over at this point; and I saw the uselessness of Bubba in full sight. So; I'm ready to be surprised as an adult for this story arc. So let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written and story edited by Ken Koonce and David Weimers. I'll assume that because the story editor is not credited here. And Jymn Magon is the voice dialog director here! WONZA!
Opening Moment #1: So we get our third opening and the stupid shots of Bubba remain; only they replaced Bubba nailing the Giant Ass Warrior from The Duck Who Would Be King with Gizmo Duck in a dark forest getting nailed by a stray bomb and a small shot of Fenton on a dock with the blunderbuss. Why not just replace the whole thing and get rid of Bubba's Woodchuck hat? It's not like Bubba doesn't appear in the other scenes. Magica's laughing with Poe is changed with the nephews riding with Gizmo Duck. Okay; that is pretty cool. Half of Tootsie's licking Webby is gone and replaced with Gizmo Duck on a moving metal chair which is really cool. Well; it is an improvement from Time Is Money I guess.
Opening Moment #2: The title card for this episode is Liquid Assets. This is one of those recurring themes that taken out of context was not a good idea in hindsight.
We officially begin this story arc AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) inside the chipmunk house and then we head inside as Big Time and Bouncer (with flashlight in hand) are tinkering on a table and wanting to fudge some blueprints it seems. Big Time wants Burger to help; but he is helping himself to the vending machines by using the old cheat method of pounding on it. Burger gets some fudge and gleefully answers that one for me. By the way; I didn't mention that Burger's name plate has a bite taken out of it. Hmmm; I wonder why? Big Time asks the question of wisdom: What's more important; Ma's birthday or his stomach? Hmmmmm...That's a tough one Big Time. Burger asks what does Ma's birthday have to do with fudging blueprints. Big Time crosses a big X on Scrooge's Money Bin as he claims that changing the blueprints will give Ma want she always wanted. He then crosses out the road and draws a red line. Bouncer talks about nest eggs and chuckles which goes nowhere fast. Okay; what is the point of this? And how would Big Time convince anyone that they are fudged when it seems to make no sense. So we go from dark skies to morning as a rooster crows as we get a shot of the Money Bin from far away along with a shot at Duckburg.
We head to Scrooge's bedroom (strange since that would be the mansion and it wasn't shown in the previous shot) as Scrooge is sleeping with a sack of money in purple covers. Now why on earth is it okay for Scrooge to sleep in purple covers in syndication; but Kit's was changed to navy blue in Plunder and Lightning? And isn't purple a GOOD color since colors are GOOD? That's what Sean Malstrom keeps telling me. Scrooge yawns as we cut to a shot at the window which so happens to have a binoculars like those you see on look offs in Cape Breton. I see Scrooge has been spending more money in recent days. Scrooge goes to his binoculars as he proclaims that a day without looking at his Money Bin is a day without sunshine. Strange since I rarely see this side of Scrooge in my life. I guess the writers figured that Scrooge needed some character development. He looks with the binoculars shot as the Money Bin stands tall and shines and then we pan down to see bulldozers and trucks plowing up the land. And Scrooge then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and then he gets pissed as we cut down to ground level to see a worker looking at the blueprints (hardhat, blue overalls, honey checkered shirt, brown gloves, red mustache, fat, voiced by Terry McGovern) as the limo zooms in and stops on a dime.
Scrooge comes out (complete with cane) and demands answers to this outrage. You know; dressed up in pjs is not a good idea of conducting business Scroogie. And how did Scrooge get his purple sock cap? The workman explains that they are building a new super highway and the Money Bin is standing in the way see. Scrooge grabs the blueprints and blows the workman off and leaves in the limo. So we return to the mayor's office as Scrooge storms in (still with pjs on natch) as a pig furry is working at the desk with paper filled to the brim (Chuck McCann). Scrooge demands that the city change it's plans at once. The pig furry is pretty scared of him (white hair, violet suit, red shirt, ribbon of doom and white gloves) as Scrooge doesn't want to move his Money Bin. Geez; these guys are really stupid since why would you build a highway to take a sharp turn into something unless it was to AVOID something. Doesn't that give away the fact that the blueprints are fudged. Then again; DTVA authority figures are stupider than the main characters. Go figure. Scrooge stands on the desk and shows the mayor the blueprints. The mayor no sells because the plan was approved months ago. How? The original plans were to NOT go straight through the Money Bin. If you cannot change the plans; then the Beagle Boys found a way. Logic break #1 for the episode barely three minutes in. Scrooge gets pissy and want them to build a tunnel, bridge and move Duckburg and the mayor no sells because you cannot fight city hall.
We logically go to the scene changer and I'm disappointed in this ending without further incident. I was hoping Scrooge would try to fight City Hall and then the mayor brings out the blunderbuss as a symbol of gaining power from a barrel of a gun. Not a smart move there guys. So we head inside the worry room as the nephews comes in. The nephew even CALL it a worry room so you know that was contrived. We pan over to a statue and Scrooge is walking so hard that the floor is crumbling in a circle. Geez; that spot is too old for this show. Not as old as the quicksand spot; but still. Scrooge proclaims that he has to move his money bin and the nephews call it heavy. Funny thing: Disney Captions said boney bin and that's exactly what was said in the audio! I think Alan Young might have been sick during the recording as the nephews follow him in the circle as they wonder how to move the bin with all the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Scrooge stops as the nephews hit backside and drop with wussy bumps complete with Hanna Barbera pan sound as Scrooge realizes that it's harder now since he has to move three cubic acres of liquid assets. And thus the episode card ironically enough. Louie thinks that it means there is a leak on the roof and Scrooge corrects him as another term meaning cash. I doubt it's all that technical Scroogie. And it's going to be like emptying the Pacific Ocean and he needs an accountant. It might as well be a qauck accountant. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See; I can make funny use of the duck pun too, Disney.
So we logically head to the peanut factory (complete with smoke stakes smoking (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING AND QUACK PACK EPISODES!) as we head inside the bean factory (close enough) as we some How It's Made stuff going on as two bird furries count beans in the jar. HAHA! The bird with brown curly hair and tongs (wearing the white coat with blue tie) puts it into the BARREL OF LAUGHS and adds two beans to the jar. Then one of the bean counters (a duck who looks like Young Scrooge in his early days) blows off this bean counting as boring. Is that him? Is that Fenton Crackshell? He asks Carter about it and Carter no sells and adds seven to the next jar as Fenton wants a job where success means more than a full jar of beans. And then he gets giddy as the SEXY WOMAN OF THE DAY (in a blue dress, blue skirt and has blond hair) walks in with folders and Fenton wants a date with her and only a good job will get him that as Fenton addresses her as Gandra Dee. He leans on the conveyer belt and bounces his face on it before resuming the count of beans. HAHA! Yeah; that is Fenton Crackshell; the duck who puts Gusto Gummi to shame because while Gusto is vain; Fenton is full of himself and he's REALLY STUPID. And apparently; he has a kick ass gimmick as well later on that puts Drake Mallard to shame. We'll get to that later on.
I love Fenton and he should have been the spinoff character instead of Darkwing Duck; but then again when Ducktales was to this point; the show was falling and Fenton couldn't get enough heat to justify a full show. He is voiced by the late Hamilton Camp. Gandra Dee is voiced by Miriam Flynn and she started as a telephone operator in To Be Announced. She went on to First Family, The Tim Conway Show and was Maggie Weston in Maggie. She played mostly bit roles in live television (including Riptide under her complete name!) along with movies such as Class Reunion, Mr. Mom, Vacation, Home Sick, Stealing Home, Christmas Vacation, Lonely Hearts and Babe. She then went on to cartoons with Foofur in 1986 and then to Taz Mania, What A Mess, Might Max, The Tick, Duckman, Life With Louie, and several more recent Batman shows. She is known as Mildred in Chalkzone, Coop's Mom in Mega XLR, and was in several Land Before Time OAVs (from #5-#13). Ducktales is her DTVA debut and was in Darkwing Duck as a cameo. Her latest credits are the upcoming Born to Be A Star, Fifty-nothing, Married Not Dead, and the last credit is Nowhere to Hide as Priscella. Interesting note: She won an award for a play called: Sexual Perversity Among The Buffalo in 1978. Yeah.
And Fenton wastes no time in cutting his first true full of himself promo as he wants status, recognition and a boss who remembers his name. And then Gandra stops no selling and calls out Fenton as she walks towards him. Gandra informs him that he did a great job and broke the bean counting record. His boss was going to tell him; but he forgot his name. HAHA! It's ironic that everyone remember Who Shot Mrs. Burns and yet; Burns' routine for Homer was based on THIS scene. This is why when it comes to copyright; the entertainers and copyright holder have lost their moral high ground. One might be stealing and lots could be research; but I betcha the holders cannot apply that consistently. Fenton bounces his beak again (a really weak shot no less) and then walks away on the far shot. He walks out the door and it's AFTER HAPPY HOUR (that early? Where was the sunset?) as Fenton mopes around. He goes to the lamp post and reads a wooden sign that states that help is wanted as Scrooge McDuck needs an accountant. He rips the poster and he won't get paid. Sure; let's rub it in that Scrooge is a greedy bastard why don't we? Fenton then invokes his first famous catchphrase: Blabbering Blatherskites!
Now THAT's how to take god's name in vain without screwing over BS&P. It's things like this that make BS&P a GOOD thing. He wants to move up in the world and impress Gandra Dee see. So we logically head to the Money Bin as there is a long lineup of people who want the job. There must be a million furries in this show who want to be a slave since there is no way that many people would accept Scrooge's job for peanuts. Nice to see the real reason for this as to cover up the fact that there is no construction in the scene. So we head to Scrooge's office as Scrooge goes to his intercom and calls for Mrs. Featherby (I believe this is the first time I have heard her name since ranting on this series actually) as he wants the first victim....ERRR..I mean first applicant. The first guy comes in and is a dogperson wearing brown hair, a blue shirt, blue pants and sneakers. He looks like a bad Freddy Jones (Frank Welker) as Mrs. Featherby is behind him (a duck wearing a purple dress with pink jewelery and purple high heels. I believe she has glasses on and has white old ladies hair. The first victim sits in the red hot seat (how fitting this is?) and tries to say his name but he is interrupted by Fenton from the door with his briefcase. Yeah; Fenton does the old full of himself and REALLY STUPID routine all at the same time. I wonder how Tad Stones can sleep at night knowing that Disney picked Kennedy Cartoons for the Ducktales/Darkwing crossover and that single handed ruined the series.
Scrooge calls him a nut. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Fenton then lays on the desk and shoves his calling card to Scrooge as he is Fenton Crackshell. You don't know the half of it dude. He is also the Banana Bran Flakes Buck for Ducks Brochure Course. How can ANYONE even in Ducktales; say that with a straight face is beyond me because I cannot stop laughing. That is knee slapping funny. Scrooge wonders what that means and Fenton states that he gets his diaploma if he gets two more boxtops. HAHA! A little less funny when you realize that this is a joke on diploma mills in real life. The sane adults console and Mrs. Featherby grabs Fenton by the legs and carries him away from the office with Fenton literally screaming that this is his big break. HAHA! You certainly made a first impression there Fenton. The door closes as Scrooge apologizes for the funny interruption as he asks what the victim would do with one million dollars. The man states that he would invest it in stocks, bonds and stable commodities. Scrooge then blows it off because it's a trick question see: He would never give anyone a million dollars. HAHA! Considering that he gave Flint 10 million dollars and a chance to eat his stereotypical hat; color me unimpressed.
He pushes the orange button (which was former red on the far shot) and the chair goes flying and the man flies out the open window stage right. You know Scroogie; maybe you should reconsider that one since he probably will get that one million dollars from the lawsuit that will follow this. He pushes the next button as he wants victim #2 as Fenton pops up from the open window (huh?) and wants Scrooge to give him the job. See; he can balance a checkbook and of course he balances a checkbook on his beak. HAHA! Scrooge then goes to his conveniently placed goldfish bowl (Wow; someone actually remembered Scrooge's Pet I see) and then throws the goldfish right into Fenton's mouth. What a heartless bastard this Scrooge fellow is? I smell a PETA boycott in your future as Fenton free falls and Scrooge closes the open window and the fenders. He returns to the desk and tries to press the button on the intercom; but Fenton somehow enters from the fireplace. There is a chimney with the Money Bin? Logic break #2 for the episode six a half minutes in. He still wants Scrooge to think about this and Scrooge wants him to go away; but the ashes get thrown around as Fenton drops on his ass with a wussy bump and everyone coughs.
Scrooge decides to give Fenton a chance as they dust off and Scrooge asks for qualifications. Notice that the blunderbuss is conveniently placed above the fireplace. That'll come into play soon enough. Fenton sits in the red chair as Scrooge asks him what school he went to. Fenton blows it off because schools are for fish and he's a fish out of water. He's a duck without a cause. He's a mallard who is full of himself. He's the only guy who can put Drake in his place. BLAM! HEE HEE! Missed again Drake! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! He keeps going on and on as Scrooge scratches his head on all this. Scrooge basically states that he has no qualifications and Fenton agrees with him. So Scrooge pushes the button and the trap door opens and Fenton drops. Man; that device must be so smart to remember that despite having only two buttons at his disposal. Logic break #3 for the episode as Scrooge calls Mrs. Featherby for someone else as she brings in victim #3 as Fenton suddenly pops up with the red chair (strange since in the opening credits; Mrs. Featherby and the victim were NOT in the background on the same shot) and Scrooge is peeved. He grabs Fenton and it is tug-of-war city as Fenton grabs onto the desk. Now at this point; Scrooge would have called the police in real life; but since this is DTVA the police are stupider than Fenton; so this tug-of-war will have to do.
Mrs. Featherby helps out as Fenton breaks a handle on the desk and throws papers away for fun. The pulling continues as the sane adults are gaining on Fenton as Fenton pleads for mercy as Fenton continues to pull on anything bolted and not bolted down. Fenton wants Scrooge to give him a shot and then we get the historic Toon Disney cut as Scrooge gets the blunderbuss from the fireplace and shoots at Fenton! Scrooge misses by a mile as Fenton counts 465 and Scrooge wonders what. Fenton calls them shotgun pellets. Scrooge is SHOCKED at this as Fenton claims to have a knack for a photographic counting memory. Scrooge then takes some coins and tosses them into the air and Fenton counts them right down to the penny. Funny since before on the far shot; they were all gray; but on the near shot; there are pennies which are a different color than other coins. Scrooge puts the blunderbuss down and hires him on the spot. Fenton jumps for joy and then Scrooge asks for his name again and Fenton's beak drops on cue. HAHA! Funny how Disney felt that was a mimic act even though the gun's beak would have been close to hitting Fenton in anyway.
So we logically go to the trailer park AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we get Trailer Park Boys Disney Style. We zoom into the white trailer and then go inside as an old lady duck blond wearing green rollers, a pink robe, pink slippers is on the couch watching television while eating microwave popcorn. That believe it or not is Fenton Crackshell's wife (or mother; it's hard to tell) who is quite frankly; our first official bitch of DTVA. She is a lazy duck who leeches off Fenton Crackshell's work. Oh goody; now I see why the Gizmo Duck era didn't get quite over. I have finally found my Monty in this one. Mrs. Crackshell is voiced by the late Kathleen Freeman who starred in female roles in the late 1940's uncredited; such as The Naked City, Casbah, Behind Locked Doors, The Story of Molly X, Annie Was A Wonder and The Saxon Charm. She starred in 16 more movies mostly uncredited and one was a deleted scene (Cause for Alarm). She was Mrs. Chernowitz in Fireside Threate, Katie in Topper, Jessie in Letter to Loretta, Bertha in The Bob Cummings Show, Myrtha in Buckskin, Hilda in Bachelor Father, Hannah Wells in 77 Sunset Strip and many others (she has at least 270 credits as an actress). She was a dialog coach in The Love Machine and The Collector in 1965. She was Flo Shafer in the Beverly Hillbillies, Kate in Funny Face , Sophie in Growing Pains and Gerturde in Hogan's Heroes. Ducktales was her DTVA debut and her cartoon debut as well. She was in a few cartoons (Duckman, Johnny Quest 1996, As Told By Ginger and was infamous for Mrs. Kisskillya in Detention). She was Peg's Mom in Married With Children, and was in a few other shows. Besides As Told By Ginger; her final credits were Shrek as an Old Woman, Joe Dirt as Joe Dirt's Mother, Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, Jane King in Ready to Rumble and cameos in Becker and Batman Beyond.
So we see Mrs. Crackshell watching television as a woman proclaims that the doctor has only given him six more months to live. Weird since the audio sounds like complete gibberish. Well; this proves that Disney Captions is indeed a bunch of lazy sons of bitches. And the door opens from the right as Fenton comes in with a sack, a paper hat and a platter with a chocolate cake with a cherry on top. Okay; Mrs. Crackshell is his mother; which is cute since nowadays the roles are reversed. It's the boy in the basement while the mother does the work. Fenton has exciting news see and Mrs. Crackshell wants it to wait until Ducks Of Our Lives is over. You know you are in 1989 when this kind of thing would be acceptable. Not that I mind working females; because it was refreshing back in those days at least from the cartoon side of things. However; nowadays it is no longer fresh anymore and the fact that teams keep repeating it is a sign that they do not get real woman. Neither do I for that matter; but someone has to point it out sooner than later; even if it ends up being projection on my part. Fenton shows her the cake and party flavors as the woman on the television is Millionaire Vanderbucks. HAHA! So she has become an actor now after the aborted Scrooge merger. As they say; if you can act and look good; you go to Duckywood. AHHAHAHAHAHA!
Fenton wants to celebrate his new job as Mrs. Crackshell blows him off because she wants no crumbs since she swept last year. So that explains the jelly stain in the background on the trailer wall. Fenton is giddy because he went from being a $2.00 hooch to a $5.50 hooch. Okay; he only got a new job; but that is the upscale value he got out of it as a payoff. Mrs. Crackshell blows him off with Fenton's vain promo (I see where he gets it from) as she asks what is wrong with bean counting. The only thing wrong with it is that now Fenton is counting money (figural beans) instead of beans (literally). And even so Mrs. Crackshell; you look like Billy Graham after Vince fired him during this time too. Minus the steroid consequences of course. Fenton claims that it doesn't count which is funny since he GOT the new job because of his counting. See he wants to be important and wants more out of life. Compared to Mrs. Crackshell; Fenton already has it in spades beforehand. He is only showing off now; the cad. Mrs. Crackshell claims that they have everything here and Fenton asks her if she wanted something because he doesn't have enough and she gleefully answers that one for me: She wants Fenton to take out the trash. Mrs. Crackshell wants to return to her soap opera and Fenton puts the chocolate cake into the trash; take a sack and walks out sulking. Get use to this image Mr. Hardcore; today, you are now Mrs Crackshell. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...
So we head to a condemned wooden building (with enough pictures of good building to make you feel ill) as Big Time is disguised as a greasy salesman (despite not getting rid of the mask) on the steps and Bouncer tells him that he is coming. The limo arrives down the street as one of the Beagle Boys takes out a blunderbuss and shoots at the tires. It goes flatter than Mr. Hardcore's whining these days as Duckworth and Scrooge jump out to check the damage. Scrooge wonders what happened as Big Time disguised as BB Reality (yeah; that doesn't blow your cover in the very least no siree) states that it is fate and shakes Scrooge's hand. He asks if he is looking for choice property. Scrooge states that he is looking for real estate (how did the Beagle Boys know that?) but he has an appointment with his competitor and he's NEVER late for an appointment see.
Scrooge tries to leave; but Big Time BB states that he has the best bargains in town see. Scrooge of course turns around and proclaims that he is never late for a bargain. Now you would think that the mask would be a dead giveaway; but again Scrooge does have Airhead Syndrome from time to time. We then head to a forest with a large mountain in the background as Big Time and Scrooge exchange notes. See; Scrooge likes rocky top places and rock bottom prices. Big Time nearly blows his cover twice as he shows a report from the Air Force to Scrooge and then recoils before Scrooge can fully read it. Considering what Big Time said; I think we know what that is being used for. Scrooge proclaims that what is good for Uncle Sam is good enough for Uncle Scrooge. I guess doing the Gruffi pose is good enough for him too. Scrooge signs his name on the DEED OF DEATH which on the clipboard and they shake hands before Scrooge leaves. Big Time then waves goodbye before he proclaims that it is good enough for him as well. He pulls off the hair piece and laughs badly and that ends the segment ten minutes in. Okay story thus far....
After the commercial break; we head to Scrooge's mansion as Scrooge yawns again (what is with the crosses in the background? Did Scrooge convert for some reason?) in his bedroom in his purple covers and sack of money. Holy Recycled Sequences Batman! Scrooge goes to the window and ponders about the sight he sees when the Money Bin is moved. Sadly; his train of thought is gone as Fenton Crackshell appears OUT OF NOWHERE and greets him. HAHA! He is truly early to rise isn't he? You have to be to get enough doses of being full of yourself. Fenton jumps into the bedroom and asks Scrooge if he wants him to tally his sheets or change his bed. Fenton is just asking for a Bradley-equse beat down here and I love it. Scrooge grabs the purple covers and blows him off for tallying bed sheets. Fenton wonders that one because it said so in the Bucks for Ducks business brochure. I see he has infected Rebecca Cunningham with that in I Only Have Ice For You. Scrooge blows him off for that one as he asks why he is up so early since Scrooge has yet to have his silver dollar pancakes. I guess that is the cost of making them. One word: MacDonalds! Fenton grabs Scrooge to the FCC FRIENDLY CHANGE ACCORDIN (pointless since Scrooge has been stripped twice in this series; you are not fooling anyone BS&P!) as he wonders if they are tax deductible. Scrooge gets his clothes on as the pancake is barely edible. Then the money flies along with glasses and underwear. Seriously; what was Wang Films smoking on that sequence?
Fenton brings Scrooge out and his suit is on backwards, shin guard on his hands and his top hat is shoved up his ass. HAHA! Scrooge wants to slow down because his clothes are on backwards as Fenton shows teeth. So we head to inside the Money Bin as Scrooge swims on his money for fun as this is his last dip before the big moving day. Scrooge gets up the ladder and out of the vault as Launchpad (at 10:56) wonders where he is going to stash that cash. Everyone walks out as Scrooge is still deciding on matters while the Money Bin is being raised by cranes outside. Fenton wants Scrooge to stop the ticker tape because there are a million ways to store money. About the same amount of times Fenton can be full of himself; which is about three times as many as Drake Mallard himself. Fenton even mention his mother's favorite which is mayo jars buried in the backyard. I see where Herb got THAT idea from. Scrooge heads into the limo. And while I am at it; did Scrooge just FIRE Duckworth now? The limo driver has black hair and looks like a ferret. Scrooge proclaims that he likes his assets liquid see since he can swim in it. Oh boy; that line takes a whole new meaning nowadays. The limo drives away as Fenton suddenly has a MIMI JOKE PLAN as this is his chance to show Scrooge how ingenious he is at being REALLY STUPID. Okay; I made up the last part; but we know that it's true.
So we head to...say it with me...the worry room as Scrooge is circling around a statue causing more of the floor to crumble. Fenton this time storms in and calls it the lottery game of life. I call it being full of yourself; but whatever. Fenton joins him as Scrooge blows off his blabbering. Fenton tells him that he made his assets liquid and Scrooge asks what he means by that. So that logically leads to the lake as Scrooge reads Fenton the riot act since Fenton put his MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH in the lake. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See what happens when you make mild sexual jokes Mr. McD. I see Duckworth has been reinstated as Scrooge's limo driver. I guess Duckworth was as a convention or something. Scrooge grabs some gold coins from the lake as he calls it the worst idea in history. Fenton claims that Scrooge himself wanted his money to be more liquid. And it cannot get more liquid than the bottom of Lake Doughbegone. Oh man; that is so symbolic on SO MANY LEVELS. Scrooge then threatens to throw him into the bottom of the lake wearing a cement kilt. There are Scottish mobsters in Ducktales? Well; live and learn unless you are Fenton. Then you just get leeched by DARKWING...DUCK. BLAM! HEE HEE! Missed again Drake! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! Fenton looks inside the lake with his scuba goggles and there is about one cent missing from the pile; which so happens to be sticking on Fenton's goggles. In other words; it's all here. I thought Scrooge was clocked at $74 billion or so. Scrooge is relieved of this anyway as he proclaims that no one shalt know what is here as he goes over to Duckworth as Scrooge needs camping gear and radios. Duckworth isn't exactly thrilled of this.
So we head back to the mansion as Duckworth is loading the back of the limo with camping gear. The nephews bicycle in as Dewey asks if Duckworth is going camping. Duckworth tells them to perish the thought since this is for Scrooge see. Louie then gets pissed off at Scrooge going camping without them and that sounded really out of character for Louie. On the other hand; that is some Grade A voice acting by Russi Taylor. Scrooge left strict instruction for the nephews to stay with Mrs. Beakly. Jeepers creepers; it's Golden Suns all over again. Duckworth gets into the limo and drives off admitting where he is going. That is not smart Duckworth as the nephews are not impressed. So the nephews bicycle off to screw Mrs. Beakly and I say this: You would think Duckworth would realize that Mrs. Beakly cannot stop the nephews from anything. So we head to Lake Doughbegone as a yellow tent is set up near the lake and the binoculars in stereo are in full effect! Scrooge sees no one; but Fenton cuts his OH MY GOD promo (you know which one) as he sees three someones coming this way as a matter of fact. Take three guesses who they are and the first two don't count. Scrooge thinks that they are the Beagle Boys and Fenton wants to fight as he stomps stage left. So we cut to the nephews walking stage right and the net drops on top of them.
Fenton takes the net to Scrooge assuming that they are the Beagle Boys and shows off the nephews. Yeap; Fenton is REALLY STUPID. Scrooge gets on Fenton's case for bagging his nephews see and throws him away like wussy garbage. Huey wants answers as to why he's camping with this loony instead of them. HAHA! I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Scrooge claims that it's supposed to look like a camping trip when it is really top secret business. The nephews ask if they can pretend with him and Scrooge decides to let it go. After all; he knows that they will just come back like the leeches that they are. The nephews cheer on cue as we go to the scene changer with Fenton and Scrooge on binoculars duty (Fenton has the big ass version just to be vain) and the nephews don't think this is fun as they mope on a log because they cannot fish. Scrooge goes over to them and asks them to build some LIBERAL RED BOOK OF LIES BOOBY TRAPS OF DOOM~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...I mean Junior Woodchuck booby traps all over the lake. The nephews agree and walk away stage left looking like they teleported about 20 feet from the log. Louie thinks something weird is going on here. I guess so; it IS Lake Doughbegone after all. Huey wants to pretend that they didn't hear him and have fun anyway.
They nod in approval as we return with the GOOFS WITH BINOCULARS as Fenton's big ass binoculars have gone super-sized. How about that?! I wonder if Larson and Gary created binocular steroids yet. Look at 14:03 of the DVD! They are bigger than Fenton's body for goodness sakes! I think even Scrooge is questioning this as Launchpad contacts Scrooge on the radio. Scrooge takes the transmitter of doom as we cut to Launchpad on the giant ass tow truck as LP is towing the Money Bin literally. The truck goes down the hill with the Money Bin as Scrooge tells LP not to roll into anything. You are just walking into a trap there Mr. McD. Scrooge hears some clanks off-screen as Scrooge wants answers to this and LP declares that it's ONLY a fender bender. Riiiiiiggggghhhhhttttt. People scream, DUH! Scrooge asks why and LP calls them sissies because they never saw a shopping mall collapse before.
Yeah; LP has made history in crashing an entire shopping mall. It's time to send LP to the quack hospital to kill that fatalism illness he has. Scrooge is APPALLED by this as he asks how far is he from the mountain he bought and now the binoculars are TWICE Fenton's body weight. WHAT THE HELL IS FENTON DOING TO THOSE BINOCULARS?! Doesn't he know steroids are BAD?! We cut to LP on the truck with the transmitter claiming that it will take an hour depending on how many crashes he does as a billboard goes bye-bye off-screen. LP kills the transmission as the binoculars are NOW about ten times Fenton's size. That device has got to burst at some point. I'm wondering if this is some disturbing way of getting a philliac symbol into the show. If it is; KNOCK IT OFF GUYS! Scrooge wants to leave to check on the Money Bin before LP turns it into a has-been. He orders Fenton to watch the lake as we logically go to....
...an open field as we see the truck arrive with the Money Bin as a lot of damage has been done big time. HAHA! LP drops down from a rope and tries to explain that it was a hit and run. Scrooge doesn't blow him off though (BOO! HISS!); and states that it is here in One Piece. So Scrooge had the treasure from the anime all along. FACEPALM LUFFY~! We pan over to a small hiding place as the Beagle Boys watch on. Big Time motions to the others as they climb down the rope off the cliff while the mess with the Money Bin goes on. Most of the pieces are gone as the Beagle Boys climbs towards an entrance into a cave. Burger doesn't get it (what a shock?) as he asks how blowing up the Money Bin makes Ma Beagle happy. Big Time wants to blow it down right in Ma's backyard as we pan down and right towards a prison wall gray house which looks like something out of the Slack Jawed Yokel from the Simpsons. We head inside as we see more explosives and bombs than anything the FCC Navy has. One question: Does THAT make them terrorists now? Probably not; but it is close enough. Big Time grabs the plunger(complete with about four red wires and slides down the hill to the bottom. Big Time proclaims that it is show time as Burger and Bouncer join in for fun and Burger wants to do it. Big Time lets him and Burger gets giddy before invoking the plunger. The explosion happens as expected and the rumbling shakes Scrooge and Launchpad on top as Scrooge swears in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE (Blow me bagpipes!). LP gleefully answers him on that one and bails stage left as the entire cliff crumbles down and the Money Bin slides away towards the edge. Scrooge notices and gasps in horror while pulling on his face and that ends the segment nearly sixteen minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to the Slack Ma Yokel's House. POW! OUCH! Ummm...I mean Ma Beagle's place (weird since there should be a lot more trees in the area) as we see a red ribbon un-ribbed on the left side of the screen as the Beagle Boys are with Ma Beagle proclaiming a happy birthday to her. Ma Beagle (with party hat on in a major fashion faux pas for her) as we cut to the shot with the volcano in the background (I don't recall a volcano in this area; logic break #4 for the episode) as we see the red ribbon sparkle and the Money Bin is wrapped up in a neat little package. I wonder how they got away with it without Ma noticing. Not a logic break; just weird. Ma pulls on the ribbon and the banana yellow paper to reveal Scrooge's Money Bin in dramatic fashion. Ma Beagle gasps in amazement. She weeps because it is best present anyone has clipped for her. She wipes her eyes calling her boys wonderful. I would agree if they just kill the Gedo fashion sense in present wrapping. Otherwise; they are still too heelish for me. And then we fade to black and return inside the Money Bin as Ma Beagle blows them off as goofs because there is nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING inside. HAHA!
I should have known that pathos moment wouldn't last. And in record time too; barely five seconds. She blows them off for making her live in it like the Old Lady In The Shoe. Hey; watch it Ma. The Old Lady In The Shoe gained fame and altruistic moments by being an spokeswoman for safety in Canada. Big Time doesn't understand and wonder what went wrong. HAHA! Fenton Crackshell's REALLY STUPID moment saved Scrooge's fortune. I betcha Scrooge will give him a $6.50 hooch raise after this. Or maybe not. Ma Beagle tells her three wrongs to make it right as they get bounced out of the vault and take wussy bumps onto the floors. Sigh. Nice coloring mistake to make the party hat red and blend into her hair to boot. We then cut to the top of the cliff with a shot of the Money Bin as we see Scrooge disguised as a blue shirt worker with a red tie and clipboard with pen. He proclaims that he will have the money bin back in five minutes. Scrooge bounces down the hill telling LP to wait for his signal. I was hoping for LP to crack on Scrooge; but it doesn't happen sadly.
So we head to the front entrance of the Money Bin as Blueshirt Scrooge arrives at the red iron doors. He writes on his clipboard as Bankjob (I can barely tell who is who anymore) runs in from Ma's house demanding answers to his presence. He is stopped by the CARD OF DOOM by Scrooge as he claims to be a tax assessor. Doesn't that just blow his cover by proxy? I mean who knows taxes better than Mr. McD? Blueshirt Scrooge claims that the property tax on this building cost $50,000 more or less. I see they brought the cartoon scribble into play as Bankjob gets the bill. And the place isn't zoned for Money Bin so that is a $75,000 fine. Scrooge asks if the Money Bin is earthquake safe and Bankjob doesn't know; so Scrooge writes up a $100,000 fine. He then asks for insulated and parking for the handicapped which pretty much gives away the facade right there; but I doubt the Beagle Boys will notice that. More fines on paper as it's $200,000 fine. Separate or all together? He demands payment or he gets the Money Bin back. Bankjob runs back into the house with the bills and Ma explodes causing the roof to throw up. Well; I guess that is a NORMAL thing in Ducktales after all.
We cut to Scrooge on the transmitter as he gives the signal to LP and then we cut to LP on the truck again bringing out the tow gear down the hill as Scrooge orders him to bring it to the other mountain he just bought. Oookkkayyy. LP sells it as usual. So we see Scrooge in the forest walking towards Lake Doughbegone as then he sees horror coming as there are dollar bills hanging out to dry. Then we see the nephews actually fishing and cheering that they screwed up Scrooge's little plan. Well; so much for control as Louie is throwing money into the air. Scrooge wants answers to this outrage and takes the bucket into the jaw with a pretty decent shot. OUCH! That is going to loosen some teeth. He gets knocked silly complete with stars as Dewey shows his big ass bucket of cash. Scrooge is pissed off as he wants the treasure thrown back into the lake as it is supposed to be buried. Well; you could have, I don't know TOLD THEM THAT Scroogie. Then you wouldn't look so sad. Scrooge dumps some cash into the lake as Fenton calls out for Scrooge and he's in the tree in a net. HAHA! Looks like one of the Junior Woodchuck traps was done after all. And it worked to boot; despite the fact that the bait was REALLY STUPID. Fenton talks about the leaves on tree as Scrooge decides to cut his vanity promo for him just to annoy me.
So we cut to behind the rocks as the Beagle Boys are behind the rocks as Big Time proclaims that he knew something was fishy about Scrooge going fishing. I see that there are four Beagle Boys in this episode not including Ma Beagle this time. Burger states that he led them to the cash just like Big Time said. Burger asks how they are going to get it out of the lake and Big Time states that it's simple. I know what it is; they blow up the conveniently placed wooden dam in front of the lake when we came here at first earlier on. The Beagle Boys walk away stage right as we get the dreaded scene changer with the nephews as they notice something as Scrooge uses his binoculars of doom and sees two balloons with the magnifying glass and then pans down to see Big Time using a pulley like a kite. Scrooge panics (DUH!) as the light flashes and the sun beam hits the wooden dam. Nice to see the writers were on the ball there earlier eh?! More blasting as Scrooge proclaims that they are trying to set the dam on fire. NO?! REALLY?! The nephews run in with slingshots as they will bring the balloon down; but Fenton comes in and shoos them away because this is no job for pipsqueaks. Why? So he can be REALLY STUPID and screw Scrooge over silly. So Fenton goes over to the conveniently placed cannon and fires a cannon ball from it. Now that just takes being OUT OF NOWHERE to a whole new level of silliness.
The ball flies into the air and where it lands, Scrooge better care. It misses the balloons by a mile and hits the wooden dam with a thud. HEE HEE! Scrooge is not amused by this at all as Fenton sezs oops. And when someone sezs ooops; it means that the dam is going to break free. I check the DVD....The nephews charge in with their slingshots and they destroy the magnifying glass and the balloons and sink them into the lake. Scrooge does some eye contact violence on Fenton as he can only chuckle and then cuts a full of himself promo. Scrooge proclaims that the Beagle Boys will not quit and if he loses it then he holds Fenton responsible complete with the pointy finger of doom. Fenton gulps on cue as we go to the scene changer as Bouncer and Burger dress up Big Time into some fool as Big Time declares that this cannot miss. They give him a jar of pink jellybeans (It seems that way) and he runs on the dam's top (I see it gained about a foot wide since we last saw it as Fenton is doing some REALLY STUPID poses with the blunderbuss. Fenton notices the Big Time Fly and gets in front of him holding the blunderbuss to his kisser. Fenton demands answers to what is wrong with this picture as Big Time Fly explains that he is a pest inspector and that the damn is infested with termites. Normally; I would point out the obvious. However; if Scrooge cannot figure it out, Fenton Crackshell has no chance in hell of doing the same. It will burst at any minute as Fenton cuts his vanity promo (You know which one) and asks what he can do. Answer: Be REALLY STUPID of course. Big Time Fly explains that you can counter termites with wood weevils. Remember; you cannot spell weevil without EVIL. Fenton asks where to find them and Big Time Fly and gives the pink jellybean jar to Fenton from his green coat. He states to put them on the dam and his troubles will be over....both ways.
Big Time walks away giggling under his breath as we see Scrooge walking on the left side of the lake as the buzzing sound of doom beckons. Scrooge asks what is the chewing sound as we head to the dam as Fenton is popping pink weevils onto the dam explaining how he is eliminating Scrooge's termite problem. HAHA! Fenton is the personification of being REALLY STUPID. Scrooge actually thanks him because he is taking the initiative see. I see that CDS has infected Scrooge's brain. Even cartoon characters are not immune to it. And then the pink weevils chew up Scrooge's cane as Scrooge closes his eyes as he calls it a plan dandy idea...for Big Time to screw them over. It had to be said. Scrooge then drops on his face and notices the cane being destroyed. HAHA! CDS syndrome is not pretty kiddies. Scrooge uses the binoculars and there are wood weevils on it as Scrooge asks where the bugs are coming from. Fenton claims that it is in the jar and Scrooge grabs it from him and reads the note inside. One slight problem: Paper equals wood so the bugs should chew through it with their buzz saw teeth.
Scrooge takes the note and reads it as they are really super termites and the Beagle Boys will be spending his money in the morning. Scrooge is pissed off and he blows off Fenton for a plan dumb idea. The termites start buzz sawing through the wood as a piece falls into the lake as Fenton backs up and stammers because it is a temporary setback see. I think Fenton should get the blunderbuss because he needs some protection right about now. I don't think cartoon physics is going to save Fenton right now. Fenton drops off the dam despite the fact that he was going straight left and thus would go to the other side easily. So Quack Pack doesn't have a monopoly on this contrived spot either (see Feats of Clay and Donald's version of the spot). The dam is leaking as Fenton asks Scrooge to rest in a tax shelter while he fixes this problem. Nice Ron Tussien spot there Fenton; right on your head as the Beagle Boys giggle behind the rocks. Burger asks what is the next plan and Big Time sits down and tells them to relax because they do nothing since the plan cannot fail see. Bankjob wonders why as Big Time explains that he was watching Fenton with Scroogey and since he is messing up so badly; it should play right into their hands.
We then go to the front of the dam as the leaks continue and now golden coins are pouring out. The nephews and Scrooge try to plug up the holes; but to no avail. Fenton then hops in like a rabbit claiming that their problems are over and he has a bird whistle. Oooookkkkaayyyy. Scrooge demands to know how this is going to solve his problem. Fenton asks if he can read between the ledger lines as it will attract every woodpecker within 100 miles. Oh; and if you don't know what happens next then you have no business reading this rant. Okay; I'll let it slide this time: I betcha the woodpeckers eat the bugs and then they peck the dam into saw dust. I check the DVD...Damn; I'm good as Fenton sobs like a little baby. HAHA! Nice to see Scrooge has gotten over CDS. The nephews order everyone to run as it is going to break; but Fenton braces himself against the dam. Why? Because he's REALLY STUPID see. Fenton whines that his career is over and Scrooge gleefully blows him off for me on that as the dam finally bursts completely just after Dewey gets Scrooge and his cane away from the dam and the birds go flying into the air. The golden coins in the water wash away in a tidal wave to end part one at 21:01. Really good start in spite of some really bad logic **** (80%).
Closing Moment #1: Yes; there is a PREVIEW for part two of Super Ducktales; this time Frozen Assets. Like Ducktales; Will Ryan is the linking narrator and using the same voice to boot. Of course Will Ryan isn't mentioned in the credits like in Time Is Money. What a surprise.
THE REVIEW LINE
So we begin part one of Stupdor Ducktales....ERRR...I mean Super Ducktales with a pretty funny episode as it was the Fenton Crackshell show as he made a really big impression on me from the start and never let go. The word vanity does not do this guy justice. He truly makes Drake Mallard look like a total wuss in comparison. As for Gandra Dee; I haven't seen enough of her to get a proper view of her. However; I am going to hate the writers if they turn her into a dumb airhead blonde. We already have Launchpad for the airhead effect. Mrs. Crackshell just doesn't click with me as a fan; as while the whole role reversal of the young man being the worker of the duo is refreshing; it is negated somewhat by Mrs. Crackshell's stereotypical female television watching. And she is a jerk. The whole Beagle Boy plan is pretty silly since the logic of having plans approved despite them changing them at the last minute makes no sense. Plus; I felt that BS&P could have shown some heart in certain scenes. Otherwise; the plan of the Beagle Boys is pretty solid and having it as Ma Beagle's present is a neat payoff to introduce her. Launchpad and the nephews were themselves for the most part and Blueshirt Scrooge was pretty cute. Overall; this was another solid episode for Ducktales. Next up is Frozen Assets and the introduction of GIZMO DUCK~! You know you want him to exist. So.....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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