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Super Ducktales Part Two

Reviewed: 11/29/2009

What is Magon's fetish with out of context puns?

Well; we continue on as this episode brings us the official debut of Gizmo Duck. I have no other witty retorts for this one; so let's rant on with part 2 of the story arc shall we...?!

This episode is written and story edited by Ken Koonce and David Weimers. The teleplay is done by Jymn Magon. I'll assume that because the story editor is not credited here. And Jymn Magon is the voice dialog director here! WONZA!

Opening Moment #1: The title card for this one is Frozen Assets. Nowadays; that card might be considered a mild sex comment if taken out of context.

Opening Moment #2: And like Time Is Money there is a recap done by Will Ryan that lasts 40 seconds give or take. Nothing to see here as this will be a given for the rest of the story arc.

We begin this one at the drained river as we see the golden wave of gold coins with Fenton being washed away. We then cut back to the broken dam as the nephews watch on in disbelief with Scrooge acting like Rebecca on Molly. Then we get a third cut to a road near the river above 15 feet above sea level as the Beagle Boys are watching in a green army truck. Umm; yeah. Big Time states that if the sand bags do the trick then the cash should end up where they want it. The cash wave hits the sand bags (which look like stones) and it flows to the left path as the Beagle Boys follow the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. And yes; there are four Beagle Boys on this mission (I wonder how Bankjob got involved since he was at the house?); just accept it and let's move on. Bouncer encourages the money some more as he drives and then we head to Ma's house on the hill even though it appeared to be on flat ground in the previous episode. Well; so much for keeping the continuity straight in this episode. We zoom in towards the house as Ma Beagle is in her rocking chair knitting a prison shirt. Seriously; that is what she does.

The rumbling occurs as Ma stands up and then she sees the wave of cash coming near her. So they broke logic just to prevent Ma Beagle from getting drowned and please BS&P. That is just peachy folks. So we go to the scene changer and we see a flooded forest with lots of gold coins and like TMS before them; Wang Films alternatives between gold coins only and green backs. Unless they are implying the green water near the hills of gold coins of course. We pan over to Ma Beagle near the edge of the Dollar Lake as the Beagle Boys arrive in their green jeep as she calls it a cash flow. And the alternation of gold coins and dollar bills continues in the near shot. Big Time apologizes for the lack of gift wrapping and proclaims that it's the thought that counts as he gets a weird hug from her. It's like she wants to kiss him; but cannot due to something I cannot put my finger on right now. We pan over to a hill of gold coins as Fenton pops out from the carnage and he is money drunk so to speak. He blabbers about spin cycles as Ma Beagle invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH on him and calls him a moron. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Bouncer asks about Wootsie and before we can see some mugging from the Beagle Boys....

...We head back to the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (sigh) as we go to the zoom in shot as Scrooge calls it a nightmare as his money is bogged down in the Beagle Boy's backyard. We then return to the worry room as Scrooge walks around a circle of the statue moping again. Apparently; that routine just isn't beaten down to the ground as it is. The nephews try to calm him down because Fenton tried. I think the nephews should not mention Fenton anymore to Scrooge in this episode. Scrooge blows Huey off because Fenton is a dunderhead and he tries his patience. And that is so true too as Duckworth enters and announces a dripping dunderhead. HAHA! And in comes a sulking Fenton Crackshell dripping like a dunderhead. Fenton pleads for an explanation to his actions before he gets kicked in the ass back to Boston. With that ego; I doubt Scrooge can boot him two feet out of the worry room.

Fenton brings out his Banana Branflakes Bucks for Ducks Business Brochure (And you thought Mr. Woodchuck was goofy?) and explains that the best way is to freeze the assets. Scrooge is pissed now and he reads Fenton the riot act for meaning liquid assets meant dumping his cash into the lake. Actually; that part WORKED Scroogie. It was the termites from Big Time that started the problem. Scrooge really threatens him asking him if his fried brain (HA!) means freezing the lake and Fentons stammers and cowers like the scared little puppy that he is. Scrooge then calms down because every so often a ray of brilliance peeks through. Coming from an old man who blasted Bubba for two episodes for no real reason other than insanity. Fenton gets up and proclaims that he is smart because his mother calls him “son”. HAHA! Scrooge grabs Fenton by the shirt and tows him out as the nephews follow them out of the worry room into the hallway. He decides to visit some of his biggest fans.

So we logically go back to the flooded forest of cash flow as we see Bouncer and Burger water skiing on a motor boat (I wonder what that striped outfit Ma was knitting was going to be. Good attention to detail there). We then go the edge as Ma Beagle is relaxing in the sun wearing a purple bathing suit, a yellow rose cap and purple shades. She sighs and holds onto two gold bars as she calls this the golden years of retirement. Bankjob is buried in gold coins (still wearing his regular outfit minus the shoes) as Big Time is building a sandcastle which is made of..sand? Doesn't that kill the CONTINUITY the writers were shooting for? And Big Time is wearing black and white striped underwear as he like building sand dollar castle as he tries to put a gold coin on tip; but the green backs blow away as there is a blizzard in our mists. Big Time shivers like mad as Bankjob proclaims that it feels like an Arctic front and then he recoils in reverse! HAHA! He calls it cold as Ma shivers and gets snow on her shoulder blades as it's colder than an Eskimo's Jacuzzi. I heard of those one; those are manly hot tubs too.

The motor boat stumbles as the lake turns to ice instantly and Bouncer and Burger bounce off and collide into Big Time while sliding into snow as the amount hits 20 cm within thirty seconds. Big Time is on bottom and he hates Jack Frost nipping at his nose and then bloodying it. And yes; he literally means it as that red crimson stuff. I betcha new Disney doesn't let anyone get away with THAT one. I know 4Kids doesn't. Bouncer wonder why it is colder then the judge's last sentence and Burger doesn't know. Geez; what a shock that is? The heels run into the house and shut the door down as the snow ends up on the doorstep. We then go to the far shot of the frozen area and flooded lake as we pan up to the cliff to see Scrooge, the nephews and Fenton looking on which indicates that this is a fake storm. Scrooge is giddy because it's winter in July as we cut to a shot of seven big ass fans blowing dry ice. That shows how much of a windbag Fenton Crackshell really is. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BLAM! HEE HEE! Missed again Drake. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! We pan over to the edge as the entire place is snow covered along with the truck in the background on the Money Bin. And Fenton does the end around just to show how much of a windbag he is. See; make the joke and then pay it off. I could have gone to my “This is just what this episode needs: More windbags” joke (okay I just did; but whatever); but Fenton came up with the idea so it works just the same. Scrooge and the nephews find the perfect way to counter the big ass windbag: climb down the cliff and completely ignore him. HAHA! Fenton gets it and he slides down the hill and makes it to the frozen lake as we pan over and slips and slides. I must have caught a bad master image on pause because the picture is blurry right now. Scrooge knocks on ice and calls it as hard as Launchpad's head. Just softer than Fenton's head. Even softer than Drake's head. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... I guess Drake finally solved the problem with missing me.

And speaking of the hard airhead; Scrooge grabs the transmitter and we go to the truck as Launchpad is sitting down with his feet on the dashboard reading a Beagle Boys comic. That is treason in the Ducktales world my friend. His transmitter emits static as Scrooge calls for LP and LP does the anvil sound even though he misses the glass window by about three feet. And you thought Sun Woo's wrench blowing on Colonel Spigot in Flight School was bad? The comic book gets torn up on impact of course (which makes no sense at all) as Scrooge orders him to put down the comic book and commence Operation Ice Tongs. Now if you cannot guess what that implies then you have no business reading this rant. Launchpad salutes him as he orders his helicopter friends (about ten orange helicopter clones led by LP who has a blue helicopter which changes to orange on the flying shot) to do the whirly bird. Ooooookkkkkayyyyyy; that is more disturbing than the writers had intended as they have ropes and the world largest ice tongs. Ummm; yeah. And they used the stock music Ride of the Valkyrie. Again; can the copyright holders apply their logic consistently? I don't think so Tim.

So we head inside Ma's small living room near the fireplace as the Beagle Boys sit in front of it as Ma wants Burger to throw another stack of wanted posters on the fire. HAHA! Burger grabs some from the pile and throws them into the fireplace as the cancer music plays. There's a really odd choice of music for heels methinks. The cancer music must be drowning out the sound effects or this episode is in stereo with no mono option since Burger hears helicopters whirling; Disney Captions picks it up; but the audio on my DVD doesn't. Big Time (with ear muffs on) proclaiming that this is not a fire roaring; it's a helicopter soaring. Nice way to violate the rhyming rule there Big Time. I hope you are proud of yourself. The Beagle Boys come out of the house as the roars get louder and we replay Rise of the Valkyrie. We see the helicopters in the sky (Kudos to Wang for keeping LP's helicopter blue) as we pan down and see the ice tongs pick up the frozen lake into the sky and I assume the Beagle Boys' house to boot. Ma Beagle pumps her fist in outrage because Launchpad has done the old Kit Cloudkicker trick: Steal from the people who stole from the company. Oh wait; the image on the ground in the far shot was Scrooge and the nephews as the helicopters fly away with the frozen ice of money. This whole thing just makes Rebecca's idea in I Only Have Ice For You seem so plausible now since it's basically the same thing.

So we head to a cliff in the mountains as Fenton is on top of the ice flow (I wonder where he was in the whole sequence?) using the jackhammer which will probably be stolen by Gosalyn at some point jack-hammering the point home. Fenton stops and finds a nickel and throws it to Dewey who is sitting on a rock. Dewey grabs it and marks it down. They only have $247+ to go as Dewey gives the nickel to Louie and tells him to run it up to the Money Bin. Louie runs up the hill as we see a far shot of the Money Bin in a new place as Louie wishes that they were in the valley. Now in any other universe; the story arc would be over completely; but since Gizmo Duck isn't here yet; I fear that the overbooking is going to take place now. So we head into Scrooge's drawing room as Scrooge is watching outside with his binoculars (they have been loading up on this device in this story arc haven't they?) as he complains about being hurt since he cannot see his Money Bin anymore. We then see a shot of the freeway being built with cranes as Scrooge realizes another problem: How does he know that it is safe? That is a good question as he needs a fail safe way to protect it. Then the phone rings and it's one of those old style ones used in TaleSpin which shows just how cheap Scrooge is.

Scrooge picks it up and answers it as it is Fenton at a payphone (well; it is HIS dime anyway, so that statement is pointless) near a gas station (with a background shot of the Money Bin on the cliff). Fenton explains that the money bin is full and the assets are lukewarm. Scrooge is pleased because every dime is accounted for. Fenton agrees; except that dime he used to make the call. HAHA! Scrooge wants to know what dime and Fenton has the glass case and it was the shiny one. UH OH! Fenton took Scrooge's number one McGruffin....ERRR...I mean dime. And you thought the nephews were reckless in Once Upon A Dime? Scrooge is PISSED now because that was the number one dime he earned as he calls Fenton an idiot. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Fenton cuts his OH MY JONAS promo (yeah; I stooped to using that one, so shoot me.) because he thought it was used for emergency phone calls. HAHA! Scrooge throws the phone down and orders it back or he is fired as a gunshot goes off on Fenton's side of the phone. I wonder if Toon Disney cut that one out? Fenton thinks that he is mad. NO?! REALLY?!

So we head to Gyro's house as Scrooge asks Gyro to help him get a robot guard to guard his money bin. We zoom in and then cut to inside Gyro's lab as Gyro is working on a flapjack flipper for the national spatula convention as Gyro points out. Scrooge pleads for Gyro to do it because the birdbrain lost his number one dime and he doesn't know what else can go wrong. Gyro is done as he pushes a button on the green remote and we see the flapjack flipper which has five Mickey Mouse arms which pours batter from a green pot kettle (in order to allow Shawn Michaels to watch this episode), heat on the metal surface and flip them. Now there is a handy item to use and maybe it can get me to love pancakes again. Or maybe not; since I don't have maple syrup and butter. It goes too fast and it's shooting flapjacks time! Gyro and Scrooge hide underneath the table as Scrooge eats flapjack and Gyro states that he will start on the security robot after all. Scrooge is happy and then he runs out and manages to not get pancake batter on his face despite all the flapjacks coming to him. How about that for fuzzy logic?

Scrooge reminds Gyro to make sure it doesn't allow anyone near the bin. He closes the door as we head to the telephone company building. We know this because it has glass windows and a telephone picture on top. We pan down to ground level as we see Fenton proclaim that it is the telephone company. Was that really needed? Unless there is something witty to say; then it is wasted dialog. Although with Fenton; this would be apporos, knowing him. Fenton runs into the building as we go to the telephone teller (green dress, purple glasses, brown curly hair and is a duck. Voiced by Kathleen Freeman) giving a sack of coins to a police officer with red hair and a mustache (huh? It doubles as a bank too?). He walks away as Fenton arrives and the lady proclaims that it's Duckville Telephone (huh? Shouldn't it be Duckburg Telephone?) and for him to deposit ten cents. HAHA! That just cracks me up and her voice just makes it more so. Fenton tries to explain to her that he is trying to get back the coin he put in one of their phones this morning. Considering that this is stealing; I don't think she is going to buy what Fenton is selling. I'm SHOCKED Scrooge is quite frankly. She explains that all coins are deposited in the First Interfeather Bank. Fenton notices the bank guard walking out the door and runs after him as the lady cracks me up some more. The bank truck drives away as Fenton chases after it.

So we go to the scene changer as we head to the First Interfeather Bank (helpfully labeled on top with two white feathers and a weird red F on top.) as we see Fenton run in panting. He goes to the bank teller inside (who is a duck who is fat, blond hair, purple vest and shirt and has two buck teeth – Russi Taylor) and he states that he wants to exchange a dime for one from the phone company. Okay; he is trading and I think it's a fair one. Although I betcha she charges him two bucks for the surcharge fee. Banks LOVE surcharges. How do you think they get all those profits? She would love too; but there is something more important as Fenton goes all Sean Malstrom on us. Sadly; the bank teller points out that the Beagle Boys are here as they have a cannon barrel for a gun. HAHA! Finally; they paid off the joke the government should have paid off. I guess someone in Disney doesn't want anyone to get any ideas right? I mean why else would they black ball Flying Dupes? Bouncer then really cracks me up by calling this a hiccup. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now THAT would be a witty, deadly attack if the hiccups were catching. Big Time shudders and flusters as he corrects him. Over pooper! I think Big Time is projecting Fenton into Bouncer which would be a very unique form of psychological projection for DTVA; by calling Bouncer a lug nut. Fenton is confused and scratching his head as Bouncer takes the sack of coins away stage left.

So we head to a shot of the Money Bin on the cliff. Scrooge is yelling at Gyro to get on with it as we cut to Gyro on the soapbox announcing that it is a great pleasure to present his state of the art, fully automatic and totally indestructible security system as Scrooge does the Gruffi pose looking unimpressed. We then get a shot of the van and Scrooge blocks him off for that one. Gyro proclaims that it is the van as he presents (complete with remote control the GICU2 (Hal Smith) as it transforms into a giant robot with machine guns and rocket launchers. Okay; I think Gyro should lay off watching Transformers for the rest of his life. This is not healthy for his psyche I see. Scrooge is giddy because he apparently likes things that go kablooey. I see the FCC Navy H1N1 device we bugged on Scrooge in All Ducks On Deck is functioning perfectly. POW! OUCH! Ummm....Gyro explains the GICU2 as it is fully automatic and doesn't need the remote anymore as he throws it away and it bounces on the ground.

The GICU2 thinks there is an intruder and it shoots lasers from the machine gun. Yeah; it's clearly a gag on Transformers and anime editing practices and not a BS&P decision. Too bad it give Al Khan and Toonami too many ideas to use. And the remote control get destroyed with laser gun and rockets. Yeah; the robot is overbooked; what a surprise. It creates a crater as the GICU2 blows into his machine gun which Wang Films screws up. No really; I'm as shocked as you are. Scrooge is giddy since Gyro is a genius. He's also insane which is par for the course with him. Scrooge tries to walk away to count his money; but the GICU2 thinks Scrooge is an intruder and starts beeping. This is not going to end well; I just know it. Scrooge tries to go to the soapbox; but the laser fire turns it into sawdust. Between LP airheadness; Gyro's insanity and Fenton's vanity they could form a rock band. They could call themselves Heavy Mental Metal. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Scrooge runs away and hides behind Gyro ordering him to turn the damn thing off. Gyro cannot because he blew up the controls. D'OH! Scrooge panics as the GICU2 backs up Scrooge and Gyro towards the crater and then we get the radar shot of Scrooge and Gyro shivering like timid rabbits complete with rapid beeping which ends the segment nearly 11 minutes in.

After the commercial break; we see GICU2 on the left side shot ordering them to have five seconds to leave the premises as Scrooge suddenly cops a brave attitude and blows him off as a scrap yard refugee. Geez; that lobster courage is so like you Scroogie. NOT! GICU2 starts the countdown and the babyfaces bail as Scrooge uses the cane on Gyro to escape into the forest. Scrooge pants as he wants to know what is with that overgrown toaster. Scrooge demands to know why it is shooting at him and Gyro explains that Scrooge said that he didn't want anyone near his bin. HAHA! We do a shot of the GICU2 guarding the bin as Scrooge blows off Gyro for being too efficient. Gyro thinks that Scrooge is praising him and his voice sounds like a little kid as Scrooge pulls on his black vest and orders Gyro to create another security guard and make sure it has a brain. Sadly; the GICU2 notices Scrooge yelling and it's eyes flash and we begin the whole intruder thing again. Then it starts shooting lasers from it's head (huh?) and that causes tree branches to be cut and that topples over Scrooge and Gyro into a wooden tomb.

So we logically go to inside Ma's house as Ma is whipping up someone evil on the stove with the black kettle. Well; so much for keeping Shawn Michaels glued to this episode. The male Beagle Boys sit at the table chuckling as Burger praises Ma for the good cooking of green slime. Ma Beagle states while eating some from the pot with a crowbar as it was clipped from Better Cell Blocks and Gardens and it's Slabber's Sirloin Stew. That doesn't sound bad at all as Bankjob call Ma the best. Ma proclaims that she deserves the best as she rubs her fist into Bankjob and then blows them all off for losing Scrooge's cash. HAHA! Big Time defends himself by saying that they robbed a bank for her and Ma takes the sack of dimes blowing them off for it. There is a knock on the door and Ma answers it to reveal Fenton Crackshell BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) looking nervous. He is their new neighbor see and he wants the proverbial cup of sugar. Ma hides the sack of dime under the table and they disappear on cue (bad one Wang Films) as she has a tin cup. Fenton bows to her and calls her a lady as Bankjob gleefully corrects him on that one.

Fenton gets the tin cup as Ma asks if he needs anything and Fenton asks for an extra bag of dimes which completely blows his cover. Well; say it with me...Fenton is REALLY STUPID. Ma asks the boys about inviting their new neighbor to dinner as they surround him and Fenton asks what they are having. HAHA! Don't ever change Fenton; you make Drake look so lame now. The Beagle Boys offer him a knuckle sandwich as they pound their fists into their hands and I think it's safe to say that Fenton is seriously (insert swear word here). So we go to outside the house as there is banging and clattering along with the house dancing like a drunk. Fenton gets thrown out (with no off-screen bump either) as Ma threatens to give him pound cake for desert if he comes back. Does that come with strawbabies? Because then; I would like to have some. She slams the door as Fenton is face down on the ground looking all right except for the dirt on his shirt of course. And then he cuts the most lame Bug Bunny promo I have ever heard. What? Is “That means war” trademarked for some reason?

So we go to failed MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN #1 as we go inside Ma Beagle's house as she is reading a magazine in her rocking chair while Bankjob is reading on the table with a magazine of his own. There is a knock on the door and Ma Beagle answers it as it is Fenton Crackshell in a blue with red flowers trunks, a red torn belly shirt, blue shades, a black mask, a green hat and a painted black nose on the beak. This is going to backfire since the beak is a dead giveaway. He greets Ma and calls himself Bermuda Beagle. Nice to see Fenton gets the B name scheme of this group despite BS&P not getting it. He hugs Ma and proclaims that he is back after 20 years of being lost in the Bermuda Triangle. He kisses Ma as he goes inside and Ma rubs her cheek and is confused because he doesn't remember a son named Bermuda. Ma still buys it because she has more boys and a toad who has warts. Fenton then blows his cover in a funny way: By remember the old place. Bankjob gleefully points out that they didn't live here 20 years ago. Fenton doesn't care as his cuddles up with the boys since they are a family. A screwed up family; but a family nevertheless.

He shakes hands and goes to Big Time as he swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (by gum) states that anyone who disagrees with him is a low down worm can take it up the ass with a forklifter out of his hide. Ma Beagle checks out her scrapbook as Fenton wants to play hide and seek to have a Beagle bond. Burger claps his hands badly as he thinks this is goody and asks who wants to be “it”. Fenton wants to flip a coin and it's the old Shaggy coin trick: Heads I win; Tails you lose. I hear it's popular with irrational people too. Fenton asks for a bag of dime and Ma Beagle orders a stop to the proceedings calling him a canine counterfeit. He shows Fenton a B&W photo of her in prison gear with her children in prison. Yeah; this family is seriously screwed up. I don't see how this trumps Fenton as a fake since she only claims that there is no Bermuda. Fenton does however aid her evidence by sweating and telling her he was adopted. And so we go to outside and Fenton finally gets popped out of the house like a rocket. But not out of the episode; so siree. We couldn't punt Drake out of one; so why should we have better luck with Fenton. Nice undressing of yourself there Fenton Crackshell. At least there was a wussy bump off-screen this time around.

So we head to the front door as Fenton arrives in a red box doing the box feet spot and he takes a MAN-SIZED bump onscreen into the wooden wall. That just makes the previous bumps look really weak and obvious. It's a candy vending machine as he knocks on the door and it opens to reveal Burger as he looks around and sees a candy vending machine on the door step. Burger slobbers over it as he hugs the machine and wants Ma to give him some dimes as Ma Beagle steps outside as she ponders and sees the one thing blowing Fenton's cover: His webfeet. D'OH! Ma proclaims that the machines doesn't work with dimes; it works on slugs as she punches the vending machine hard about 20 times (seriously!) with some nasty haymakers on each shot and then Fenton shouts that it is right in the goobers. To Toon Disney: She didn't hit him in the groin at all; it was the mid section. Wang Films screwed up and you assumed that she punched him in the nuts; but it didn't happen.

She nailed the midsection. Baloo's beak groin shot is closer than this. There was no need to cut that line out; none whatsoever. So we go to the scene changer as the Beagle Boys are sleeping in their bunk beds AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Bankjob (I think) has the sack of dimes and they are wearing pink night caps just to look silly. We zoom in to the Beagle Boy with the sack of dimes as we see the star wand poking him as we see Fenton Crackshell dressed up as the...wait for it...the Reverse Tooth Fairy. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh boy! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! That dress and blond hair just make Fenton look so girlish doesn't it. No wonder Gandra Dee doesn't notice him. Bankjob wakes up confused as the Reverse Tooth Fairy has a deal for him which is to exchange the sack of dimes for the sack of teeth. Sadly; Big Time grabs his arm and proclaims that she is going to need them as he is wearing a purple robe with purple night cap and so we go to outside as Fenton gets beat up off-screen while the house gets loose again. And then we fade to black nearly fifteen minutes in....

So we head to the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as we zoom in and hear Duckworth saying that Scrooge is in a rut and that is absurd. So we head inside the worry room of doom as Scrooge is still walking in a circle with the statue and the line is about as deep as Scrooge's head. Okay; this spot is seriously overplayed now. Scrooge cannot help it as he lost his number one McGruffin...ERRR...I mean dime and he cannot relax in the money bin due to the dumb ass robot van with machine gun lasers. Might as well go all the way on this one. The telephone rings (inside the worry room?) and Scrooge answers it as it's Gyro stating that the you know what is ready for his approval. Scrooge proclaims that he is happy and will be right over. So we head inside Gyro's lab as we see the security system which is basically white armor with a television monitor, cyber gloves (that Nintendo wishes it didn't make), a cyber helmet with eye shield and unicycle pants. And thus; the seeds of Gizmo Duck is born~! Learn to love it; learn to live with it. Diamonds are forever and so is Drake's jealousy. BLAM! HEE HEE! MISSED...POW! OUCH! Ummm...

Gyro calls it a self propelled security system of incredible strength and fire power. It's bullet proof, fire proof, knuckle proof and goof proof I hope. Gyro calls it the Gizmo Duck as Fenton pops up from the window looking beat up to the gills. Fenton rubs his hands as he wants to use it against the Beagle Boys as Scrooge and Gyro don't hear him. I guess the hearing is going for them. Scrooge wonders why they need someone to wear the iron pants (nice payoff joke from Duck Of The Iron Mask; but too late anyway) and Gyro explains the obvious for him and me. Scrooge wants to hire someone and makes sure no one uses it so Gyro will program a secret code phrase no one uses as Scrooge leaves the house without incident. We pan to a close shot of the window as Fenton wants that suit and if you notice; he is STILL selling the beating from the Beagle Boys. Now THAT is attention to detail there. He needs to distract the whacky inventor (SHOOT COMMENT! SHOOT COMMENT! RA! RA! RA! OUCH! TOO HOT!) as he gets those evil intentions and practices the fine art of not being seen. So we head inside Gyro's house as Gyro goes to his bookshelf and grabs a book from it as he proclaims that he'll find a great code word in the dictionary. By the way blabberskites means nonsense in dumb crap by the way. So he activates the armor using that word while the armor beeps and pops.

He then hears some popping and swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (good heavens) as it sounds like his aerial popcorn fireworks display as he runs out of the house. And the fireworks explode in the sky and the popcorn comes raining down. HAHA! Now that is a pretty neat invention for long summer night. Gyro swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (shoot which Disney Captions gleefully ignores) because now he has to launch a butter and salt rocket to go with it. On the other hand; it makes for a low fat snack over those lethal movie popcorn products that consumer groups hate with a passion. Fenton practices the fine art of not being seen and goes inside Gyro's house and then he shouts as this is his chance to borrow the armored tuxedo. Yeah; that will maintain your cover; sure Fenton. He tries it on for size and of course he does it all wrong and then he said the fatal promo of doom as he walks away and the suit starts to crackle as Fenton turns around and panics.

He didn't mean it as the electricity engulfs the entire suit and the armor force fits right on Fenton's chest. Fenton tries to force it off of him; but no dice as the rest of the suit dances around the room and force fits onto Fenton's arms and torso; followed by the helmet and unicycle as Fenton comments on being canned like a tuna. Funny spot: When he transforms fully; they actually SHOW a blue background with a can of tuna for a split second. I thought subliminal advertising was USELESS? Fenton turns around and opens the visor as he looks in the MIRROR OF VANITY (Now that is so ironic on SO MANY LEVELS) as Gyro enters the house and he wants to know who it is eating popcorn. Fenton stammers and redoes his visor as he calls himself the guy Mr. McDuck hired. Okay; that would convince me without blowing the cover. Although the voice is a dead giveaway on who he is. Thankfully; he changes his tone of voice to declare himself Gizmo Duck. He then cuts his first full of himself promo with the suit on. HAHA! Eat your heart out Drake Mallard. He tries to go forward; but since Fenton is REALLY STUPID; he drives backwards and goes through the wall complete with Scooby Doo Snow Angel Spot. He wheels back in and Gyro offers Fenton the instruction book for his troubles.

So we head back to the living room AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Ma Beagle is relaxing in her rocking chair (Jeepers; she must CARRY that thing; or her sons do the same as implied by Burger in the scene) at the fireplace with the Beagle Boys. Bankjob walks in with the small present as since the other birthday present flew away; he is offering her one. Now that is called giving the thought and making it count. And it's from a heel of all people. They stole her some of her favorite perfume called Cell Block Number Five. Ma grabs the present and she blows it off and throws it away as it shatters off-screen. It's a poor substitute for losing Scrooge's MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. And then they hear the tires screeching as Big Time wonders who it could be. They open the window as Fenton calls them all out as we get the shot of Gizmo Duck in the forest ordering the surrender of the bag of dimes. Big Time mocks him as the guy who got sent by the man who bugged them all day.

Fenton nearly blows his cover but recoils because he is from McDuck Enterprises. I think that pretty much blows his cover right there since Fenton also works for Scrooge. Fenton calls himself Gizmo Duck of course so Big Time tells him to duck this and he throws a lit bomb towards Gizmo Duck's unicycle and it blows up of course. The Beagle Boys laugh as they think that Gizmo Duck is dead. Let me explain something guys: If we couldn't shut up Drake Mallard even by killing him; then what chance in hell are you going to have against Gizmo Duck? The smoke clears and Burger points out that Gizmo Duck is A-OK. And that bomb was weak as hell as Fenton blows them off for doing a BBQ job on him. He is armed with elbow to air missiles see. Ma Beagle wants some dog racing and they run out of the house and into the green jeep as Fenton calls them out on the purloined coins. Yeap; even in machine mode; Fenton is still REALLY STUPID. Ma Beagle tells him to eat dust and the jeep bails away and that leads to the SCOOBY DOO CAR CHASE SEQUENCE THE JEEP TO UNICYCLE EDITION~! This goes on for a while as the jeep goes into the freeway as Ma blows him off as Mr. Aluminum which is about the same as Mr. America I guess. They go through traffic dodging; but Gizmo Duck keeps the pace up.

So we head to the freeway toll as Bouncer takes the ticket from the holder and the barrier goes up and the jeep rides away. We know this because on the side in purple letters it sezs: Please Take Ticket. Gizmo Duck does the same and rides off behind. Well; that was OUT OF NOWHERE and went pretty much the same place. Just like user generated content right Sean?! We go to an elevator as four dogpersons of various ages and genders come out and then they scream and bail in opposite directions as the jeep rides into the elevator. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Do we really need to do this type of booking? Folks; welcome to the CDS era right there and I have to live with it as a TaleSpin before it goes away. The elevator door closes before Gizmo Duck can get in so he takes the stairs. This is the kind of redo routines that laid Darkwing Duck low; and they think it's proper to do it in Ducktales?

Gizmo Duck stutters as he wheels up the stairs and then we go off-screen to a shot of the tallest building which of course comes OUT OF NOWHERE. And I betcha it goes the same place as user generated content. So the elevator door dings on the top floor inside and the jeep rides away; but the door opens beside it and Gizmo Duck follows close behind. So we go to the 3D Video Game shot of the Beagle Boys running over every dogperson and bellhop in the hallway they can get. So they are in a hotel room. Why didn't they BUILD THIS up and give it context? Ma Beagle blows off the screaming as we cut to Gizmo Duck checking the instruction book while wheeling around. He threatens the midriff missiles on them which has got to be the funniest thing on the damn suit. Oh that cooky Jymn Magon and his entertainment as a job writers as they come out from his torso and they miss the jeep altogether and destroy the brick wall and shatter some windows in a really neat visual outside.

Joey Styles: We just fix those walls....and windows!

The jeep drives outside as Big Time thanks Gizmo Duck for the escape; but they forget the obvious laws of buildings and they run through the roof and manage to drive to the other roof just to overbook this some more. Gizmo Duck follows; but misses by about three feet and then free falls down as he screams. We get the anime background as Fenton consults the blue book for making the thing fly and he realizes that there is a helmet copter just to make Gizmo Duck a robotic version of Inspector Gadget. He pushes a button on his head and he gets the banana yellow umbrella (thus adding evidence to the dead ringing Gadget) and if anyone has seen; oh two episodes of Inspector Gadget, there is a 90% chance that the umbrella fails within three seconds. And damn; I'm good as we go to ground level at a bank (how fitting) as a jeep drives out and goes into the back alley which of course is the one where Fenton free falls from.. Oh that isn't contrived in the very least; no siree. Ma wonders where Gizmo Duck is and Big Time doesn't see him. So Gizmo Duck drops with a wussy bump in between them. Ma Beagle orders the boys to toss him out and they do as the instruction book is left on the seat. Gizmo Duck follows as he lands on his wheel and the CHASE MUST CONTINUE!

We then head to a Merry Go Round Hamburger Joint and...HOLY CRAP?! Those mascots holding the burger look like Oswald the Rabbit. Seriously! I know it's a moot point now; but this was 1989 for goodness sakes. I wondered how they got away with without Universal suing their asses. I doubt Toon Disney cut this out; but HOLY CRAP! Gizmo Duck follows as we go round and round while Burger's mouth water the whole time on the 3D-FPS sequence. Burger wants to order something and Ma Beagle blows him off as a glutton. Burger gets all pissy on the front passenger side and cries like a little baby and then grabs the wheel because he's hungry. They don't call them stupid criminals for nothing as Ma Beagle loses control and blows off Burger big time. The jeep drives in a circle and bumps into Gizmo Duck which bumps into Oswald the Jester Rabbit in which his hat dislodges and goes on Gizmo Duck's head. Never mind that it is a plastic mascot. Burger runs to Gizmo Duck (with jester hat) with the sack of dimes as he will have seven Silly Meals, 14 bags of crinkle fries, 23 rootin'tootin' root beer floats and one diet cola. Gizmo Duck goes into his Happy Meal Voice and states that it will cost him a sack of dimes and Burger gives them to him. Gizmo Duck thanks him; calling him a sucker and stuffing the fool cap on Burger. HAHA! Finally; a joke sequence built up right.

So we head to the Money Bin complete with iron gate surrounded by barbed wire on the close shot as we pan left to Scrooge behind the sand bunker complaining that if he cannot get into the vault; all his businesses will fail. And then Gizmo Duck arrives with his number one McGruffin in his hands as Scrooge grabs it and kisses it. He then thanks him while completely blowing off Fenton for being feeble headed. HAHA! Scrooge wants his name and Fenton claims that Gyro told him that his real name was too dangerous and to call him Gizmo Duck. Scrooge then tells Gizmo Duck that there is one more job for him: Deposit the dime in his Money Bin. Fenton of course state that it is no problem and wheels in like the REALLY STUPID mallard that he is. At least we are getting a proper ending; sort of. Gizmo then panics as GICU2 notices him and he's ready to lock and load. More shooting as Gizmo Duck hides behind the bunker with Scrooge as he admits it could be a problem. GICU2 stalks forward shooting to kill with the machine gun lasers as there is more rapid beeping and walks into the shot to end part two at 20:31. Contrived overbooking aside; that was a really good episode. Too bad; the overbooking is going to get really silly later on. *** ¾ (75%).

Closing Moment #1: Wow! We get another preview for part three! Why didn't they do this for Time Is Money? I'm guessing the masters couldn't be found after all.


So we go into part two with another really good episode with Fenton carrying it kicking and screaming. Still; I cannot help it if could have been better with less contriveness and more buildup and context to the chase sequence between Gizmo Duck and the Beagle Boys; but at least they managed to avoid the episode from going all CDS on me. Again; this is all on Fenton Crackshell doing what he does best: being vain and really stupid (Reverse Tooth Fairy anyone?) and he played the role to the hilt. I also was surprised at the Oswald reference considering that Universal owned the rabbit back then (although Disney got it back; so it became a moot point in the end). I am also liking Ma Beagle more and more this episode progresses. She is shedding her wife stereotype image when she punched the vending machine 20 times. Too bad the punch to the groin shot didn't occur which indicates an edit; or a screwed up spot on Wang Films' part. Gyro's robot was awesome which included the anime lasers in machine guns. When the writers were on; they were on, and when not it was really glaring as demonstrated here. Overall; I came out happy, but it was your above average Ducktales love in with logic breaks and a little CDS. So next up is Full Metal Duck which shows more Gizmo Duck heroism; the debut of Megabyte Beagle and maybe if we are lucky, Scrooge goes to jail again. So.....

Thumbs in the middle pointing up for this episode and I'll see you next time.


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