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Launchpad's Civil War

Reviewed: 12/23/2009

More Like Launchpad's Whacky War To Me....

Yippee; we have another Launchpad focused episode and this one is one surreal experience to be sure. Think civil war re-enactment that's actually the real thing (in the context of the Ducktales' world of course). So how does this episode do? Let's rant and find out shall we...?!

This episode is written by Pamela Hickey and Dennys McCoy. The story is edited by Patsy Cameron and Tedd Anasti. Pamela is just another cartoon writer who started in 1984 with the only really notable credits being on the newest Astro Boy anime series, ToddWorld, Growing Up Creepie and Cosmic Quantum Ray. Dennys almost mirrors Pamela Hickey's USIMDB credits by the way so I will not repeat myself here.

We begin this one at Launchpad's Hanger as we see Launchpad, the nephews and even Doofus (YAY!) cleaning LP's bi-plane. Doofus talks about his plane getting dirty when he crash lands. Launchpad is pumping air into the tires of the Joy Rider as he claims that it can takes sums of punishment. And of course LP puts too much air into the tires while trying to relate a story about flying over the Big Cheese Mountain range. I wonder if he spotted Monty there too. At least that BS story would be plausible in Monty's own head. And there was no visibility as Mount Limburger; the biggest mountain in the whole range jumped right in front of him. I said this about Fenton and I'm going to say it to Launchpad: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO THAT JOY RIDER?! It seems to be gaining muscle mass as the tires inflate. And of course he's screwed as the tire pumps him like a jackhammer. HAHA! He lands feet first into the bucket and does some sliding and drops into the tires to get buried in a tire tomb. HAHA! The kids try to help him from the carnage as we cut to the entrance to see a dogperson wearing blue; a helmet and glasses with pants, a white scarf and a red bicycle. He rings the bell and proclaims that he has a Quack-a-Gram (What is this? PU Quack Revenge Name Week?!) for Launchpad (Frank Welker)Launchpad is tied up by the tires and tries to grab it from the boy; but he's basically a rocking tire chair. HAHA! He does have enough to pay the boy and the boy thanks him as Doofus grabs the Quack-A-Gram.

Doofus reads the gram (in the usual writing that we cannot read; but 4Kids would STILL edit because according to Al Khan; it gives the impression that kids can read from paper see. And that's bad. Why? I don't know...) as the people of Duck Ridge cordially request the honor of his presence and participation in the annual Civil War pageant. As in Civil War re-enactment for those who don't understand the concept. Huey is amazed because the civil war happened a long, long time ago. Now do they know why America had a civil war? LP asks if he missed it and Huey explains that it is an anniversary celebration which contains the re-enactment of the Battle of Duck Ridge. BINGO! They want him to play the part of General Rhubarb McQuack. Yeap; this is another in a series of Launchpad family reunions of sorts. LP remembers him as his great-great grandfather. LP claims that he is a civil war hero and it runs in the family. The chuckling gives it away that the General was a sucky one to boot. LP takes off the tires as Louie states that he has to be there by tomorrow. Doofus is upset because LP was supposed to take them on a field trip for the Junior Woodchucks, and LP decides to take them long as the trip as he gets the tires off but spins around the bucket and drops on his face and belly. HAHA! Launchpad can only giggle on that one.

So we head into the skies in the Joy Ride as Launchpad is flying behind the clouds (with the nephews and Doofus sitting in the front seat of course) as they are above their destination where his great-great grandfather was a hero. We go to the front shot above the sky as Doofus has his camera ready for the LIBERAL RED BOOK OF CRAPPY PICTURES THE KIDS EDITION~! POW! OUCH! Ummm..I mean the Junior Woodchuck scrapbook. Launchpad decides to let him do it and Doofus decides to shoot the camera right in LP's face. You know if he wanted to be stupid; at least buy a bow tie camera and do it that way. It doesn't have the flair without the bow tie involved. And the Joy Rider takes a nose dive and is forced to do a hyperbole on the right pan shot as several dogspeople in period clothing are forced to duck. A dogsperson with a hat and purple coat wonder if this is Mr. McQuack. There is a dogsperson with greasy black hair beside him in a brown coat which indicates that he is the heel for this one. So we get the Loop-De-Loop for only 15 cents as the Joy Rider lands and crashes into the chicken barn duh. And man; that wood crashes like paper. HAHA!

The chicken flew the coop and there is no wolf in the hen house. Or something like that. The greasy haired brown coat wearing dogsperson states that there cannot be any doubt as they rise to their feet. The chickens continue to cluck, feathers fly and they fly away as Launchpad, the nephews and Doofus walk right out of the hen house unharmed. Unless you count LP's chicken on his head. HAHA! Launchpad introduces himself as the great-great grandson of Rhubarb McQuack of course. The purple coat wearing man wants to shake hands carefully and they do as Doofus gets the trio another picture and this one causes a little less damage to the eyes than before. The purple coat dogsperson addresses himself as Mayor Rufus B. Pinfeathers who is voiced by Richard Erdman who started in token roles in various movies from 1944 to 1953 (with Rebound and The George Burns and Gracie Allen show being his only television appearances.); starting with Mr. Skeffington and ending with Mission Over Korea and Stalag 17. He then got a major role on television as Pete Morrisey in Where's Raymond in 1954 and was Sgt. Jasper in The Swamp Fox mini series in 1959 on Disney. He then went on to do cameos from there on Perry Mason and minor roles in movies (Stewardess School, Tomboy etc.) before starting voice acting in 1979 with Scooby and Scrappy Doo, Space Stars and the Smurfs. Ducktales is his DTVA debut and while he did return for Sir Gyro de Gearloose; Ducktales was the only DTVA show he was on. He has done mostly small cameos recently (Joan of Arcadia, Judging Amy, Boomtown, Felicity); and a few television movies including the upcoming Operating Instructions as Henry. He also directed Teenage Tease in 1983, The Brothers O'Toole and Mooch Goes to Hollywood; along with a few episode of the Dick Van Dyke Show.

Rufus is part of the Duck Ridge Historical Society and they are honored he accepted their invitation. Launchpad calls the honor all his as he takes the chicken off his head. Spoiled sport! The dogspeople are shocked to hear this which pretty much gives away the dishonor of Rhubarb right in advance. Launchpad takes the chicken off his head and it laid an egg. HAHA! That is so symbolic of what is going to happen to Launchpad it's not funny. He intended to uphold his double great grandfather's name. BWHAHAHAHAHA! If only he knew; if only he knew. The brown coat wearing dogsperson with the greasy hair proclaims the he will as Rufus addresses him as Colonel Beauregard DuBark (Chris has him as DuBarque which makes sense since he's supposed to be French – voiced by Alan Oppenheimer returning for his third episode I see). He is the founder of the Duck Ridge Historical Society.

He is also owner of the Duck Ridge Civil War Souvenir Shop. Doofus flashes the camera some more as DuBarque proclaims that his shop accepts all major credit cards. DuBarque's ancestor General Elijah DuBarque fought against LP's double-great grandfather in the Battle of Duck Ridge. And I betcha he won in a squash match too. Doofus flashes the camera some more at the hills as Launchpad holds onto Beau (since it's easier to spell) claiming that it's tough to have that loss hanging over his family. Riiiigggghhhhht. LP has sympathy for Beau good sir. HAHA! Launchpad has his Airhead Syndrome on full blast today. Which means this episode is going to rock; I just know it. Beau is pissed off; but Rufus restraints him as Rufus doesn't want him to upset the apple cart if the apples are still on the tree. Rufus goes over to a dogperson soldier in uniform as he has Rhubarb's uniform all ready for LP to wear in the parade. He goes over and places the chicken on the soldier's head as he tries on the cowboy hat and uniform. Launchpad is giddy over the uniform and the upcoming parade. Everyone huddles together as the soldier is confused and Doofus takes another picture with the flash....

And that logically segues into the actual parade as the streets of Duck Ridge are filled with kids and denizens on the sidewalk as the marching band plays. I see a goose is playing on a golden flute in the band too. And a parrot. The animation is classic TMS anime style as we see two police motorcycles and then an orange old car being driven by Beau with Rufus in the front seat; and the nephews, Doofus and Airhead Launchpad in the back seat. Doofus still has his camera set to profits as Launchpad soaks in the only good moment that his double great grandfather doesn't look like an idiot. Even though it's LP and he still acts like an idiot here. Huey talks about being on the side of the parade for the first time as an old lady with glasses and in purple (Russi Taylor) notices General McQuack...and I bet she blows him off. No; she does one better; mock him as his hero as the crowd laughs in the background. Louie asks LP why they are laughing at him. Well; it's simple Louie; Launchpad is acting like an idiot as usual. LP claims that they are happy to see him. And Launchpad gets his eyes flashed by the camera flashing of Doofus again. HAHA! LP has got to learn to tell Doofus: No Flash Photography! He waves like a stunned idiot as we head to the stage (which contains a Confederate Flag no less (and gives away what happened to Rhubarb in advance if anyone knows their Civil War history 101.

I betcha that doesn't get pass BS&P ever again) as there are light blue uniform wearing soldiers talking to each other and dark blue soldiers leaning near the podium where the forbidden flag is. The tires are heard and we see the parade car come out and everyone gets out. Well; LP would if his uniform didn't get stuck in the car door. HAHA! LP does a bump into the car door with his back for fun as Rufus tells him not to act like an idiot until tomorrow. Rufus asks about an inspection of the troops as they have been rehearsing for weeks see. And so is LP as he gets the uniform to let and takes an off-screen MAN-SIZED bump into some trash we don't see; but it's still funny. So we head to the street as an old soldier with a sword (I'm guessing for General Rhubarb – Alan Oppenheimer) raises it up and readys the men (a short duck and a tall dogsperson.) on his command.

Someone forgot the short duck to find some boots. And he commands them to flee and they bump into each other and panic. HAHA! They then run away as the nephews show up asking why the soldiers ran away. I agree; being afraid of little kids is the lowest thing you can do. I guess they are W.C. Fields soldiers. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Doofus flashes the camera to gain some evidence to show these soldiers as children haters. Dewey then deduces that General Rhubarb didn't win this battle. NO?! REALLY?! We see them running behind LP, Rufus and Beau as Launchpad proclaims that they need a pep talk from their leader; the great military genius who led the McQuack Marauders to victory. LP has no idea what an re-enactment is; but then again I love him with Airhead Syndrome so screw everyone else. LP tips his hat down too much and of course he crashes into a black lamp post. HAHA! Good MAN-SIZED bump too there. Rufus decides that it's time to break the news to Launchpad and Beau cannot wait to see his face when LP finds out that Rhubarb was a total failure in life and in war.

So we cut to Launchpad talking to the Larry, Curley and Moe of Civil War Re-enactments as LP gives the pep talk about recreating a great battle in the Civil War. The three stooges giggle with their backs turned of course as LP is so dense that it's funny. This will be their finest hour. For Launchpad's it's already happened as they must work as one to win the battle. Launchpad's pep talk is so hilarious given the context that this is an re-enactment and LP's treating it as if the civil war is happening RIGHT NOW! The Three Stooges laugh their asses off on THAT one. Now they know how I felt when I was laughing my ass off and doing spit takes on LP's dancing in The Lost Crown of Genghis Khan. Rufus and Beau enter as Rufus explains that he cannot win this battle and LP interrupts him because his double great grandfather was a hero in which Beau gleefully blows him off since it was his troops who won the battle at Duck Ridge. Rufus apologizes for confusing him and looking to be very ignorant as Doofus steps in and proclaims that Launchpad is not ignorant. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I know this is Doofus; but even I think this is too funny. Dewey gleefully tells him to get back to reality. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Dewey wants answers to this whole thing as Rufus decides to tell them the story of the Battle of Duck Ridge...

So we get the thrilling flashback as we go to the real Duck Ridge (complete with tied down hot air balloon) as we see the troops with General Rhubarb on horseback. Rufus talks about the eagle eye man in the observation balloon whistled to them (a dogsperson with red hair) signaling that DuBarque's troops were advancing. The general had the advantage and the high ground as LP has his telescope but the horse gets in the way. HAHA! So the horse smiles and moves his head allowing LP to look down at the town below. He sees the troops coming from below and all LP had to do was draw his sword and charge. However; as Rufus so gleefully points out the poor fool/gallant ancestor; couldn't even draw his sword as there is only holder. HAHA! That will teach him to buy a sword at the Dollar Sword Store. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Everyone is confused because one cannot lead the charge without a proper sword. So that's why General McQuack failed then! He didn't have the balls to break DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) as Rhubarb tries to get the blade out of the holder as Beau rubs it in some more on the pan shot down as the troops run in uncontested. McQuack then tries to charge himself (with the blade in the holder); but jumps off the horse and gets tingled up in the ropes attached to the air balloon. The balloon is brought down as the troops were so ashamed that they ran away from the hill stage left and were never seen again.

The flashback of doom ends with Rufus proclaims that he still cannot win the battle at Duck Ridge; but he is still the star of the little dramatization. They couldn't have the celebration without him as Launchpad seems certain that he won't do it as Beau goes to him and tells him that he'll do the right thing. You know what; I have a sudden urge to boycott Spike Lee movies now. Beau calls him a gentleman of the highest degree. If he is talking about degrees of being an idiot then he's right on the money. He is incapable of disappointing the throngs of anxious citizens. He even brings in the old lady OUT OF NOWHERE (she was standing there now? Even though we NEVER see her? Logic break #1 for the episode) as she is anxious. Or dampen the spirits of their darling children as he brings in a little pig boy with a red baseball cap and dogperson girl with blond hair. They both look forward to tomorrow (Frank Welker and Russi Taylor) as that sounds so scripted I swear Beau paid them off like the video game industry does reviewers in those so called non-bias magazines. They ask if he will stay and LP keeps saying you will stay. HAHA! Airhead syndrome; gotta love it. Beau calls his an idiot and tells him to say I'll stay. I love real comments and aren't supposed to be real comments. And Launchpad proclaims that he'll stay...and calls Beau an idiot. HAHA! Beau wipes his face with a cloth on THAT one.

So we head to the horse stable as we see the brown horse LP will be screwing around with chomping on hay. Doofus asks if it's a real horse. Well; if it has a mane; it's a horse you doofus. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Doofus calls him some cartoon character. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Psychological projection much there Doofus?! The horse's name is Grace the direct descendant of General Rhubarb's horse. Grace gets flashed as well for Doofus' amusement. He backs up and drops his ass right onto the tub of water conveniently placed behind a box and a pail. Nice to see someone was on the ball there, eh?! Rufus claims that the two will look grand as Launchpad is worried about riding a horse. He gulps as Rufus show him the double great grandfather saddle to boot as Beau tries hard to contain himself before he laughs his ass off. Launchpad walks away stage left with the saddle as Doofus flashes him with the camera and he crashed off-screen to another MAN-SIZED bump. Okay; now Doofus is just showing off now. Huey thinks it's hot here and the nephews decide to get a soda and look around the town for a while. Dewey offers Doofus a walk; and Doofus no sells because he's going to hang around and finish his film. And notice how the fence disappears on the shot? Logic break #2 for the episode as the nephews walk away from him. We then go into the gift shop as we get some really decent gifts displayed on the glass window as Huey admits that Beau's souvenir shop is the biggest store in town. Geez; how convenient is that?

He makes a fortune in souvenirs as it has everything from the civil war to boot. There is even a cannon conveniently place in front of them on the sidewalk too. Doofus then runs in screaming for help as he tells them that Launchpad put his saddle on backwards and the horse ran away with him. In other words; the normal Friday night stuff. It's a false alarm. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Doofus doesn't know where he went and of course he got a good picture of him. Oh; how convenient as Dewey wants to do a search and here comes Launchpad on backward saddle with his horse as the search is over according to Huey. But the funny stuff keeps marching on as Launchpad continues to ride in town (complete with a hung Confederate flag in the background, natch) as we get some watching on from the kids commenting on LP's horse riding skills. They notice LP going up Duck Ridge and go after it as we see Grace climbing up the hill. How about that for skill?! She IS a cartoon character. AHHAHAHAHAHA! STOMP! OUCH! Ummmm...We go to the 3rd person adventure video game shot as Launchpad crashes into some bushes leading up to a cave and then into the cave as Grace finally throws LP off her (what a shock?!) and LP flies into the air and then takes three really sick bumps on his ass and then another really sick bump right into the rock wall with his beak. OUCH! That is going to leave a mark. On LP's beak. We zoom in as LP proclaims that it takes a lot longer to crash a horse than an airplane. HAHA! He thanks progress as he wakes up and see three old soldiers with rifles looking for a firing squad (all dogspeople- one is Alan Young, one is Alan Oppenheimer and the other is Frank Welker) and wants voluteers as they cork their rifles and point them at Launchpad to end the segment nearly 12 and a half minutes in.

After the commercial break; we see Grace and Launchpad huddled together in mortal fear of being MURDERED by ghost soldiers. The soldiers proclaim that the horse and LP look awfully familiar as the kids arrive and swear in DUBBED DUCK STYLE (Holy Quackamole!). The soldiers think Launchpad is Rhubarb McQuack and that he has aged well. Now if they are truly real; then we have a logic break since the Civil War took place about 100+ years ago. LP gets off a religious reference (heavens to helicopters!) as they are the lost soldiers of General Rhubarb McQuack as they get flashed by Doofus and the guns go off. Okay; the joke is seriously overplayed now Doofus. Their guns go away as they huddle and surrender. And we accuse France of this somehow? Huey proclaims that they cannot be taken prisoners as Doofus proclaims that LP has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN in mind. And then panics of course. LP gets up and gives them the attention and the soldiers salute without question. LP tells them to be at ease as he is Rhubarb's grandson Launchpad see. The soldiers call it real unfortunate sonny. And then we go to the cave with a hole on top as the soldiers sulk and sleep and eat in disgrace for the loss at Duck Ridge. We pan over to the Merriquack the river patrol boat during the war (which the soldier points out).

They have been hiding in secret all this time and living on beyond the point that they should be living at. And they have been there since they lost because of their idiot captain Rhubarb McQuack. They apologize for having such an unpleasant memory for them. At least they don't hold a grudge against Launchpad himself...yet. LP proclaims that he has unpleasant memories and of course he doesn't remember them. I don't think we need to go there LP. We get some water splashing and here comes another old soldier named young Billy (The Bugle Boy with the white mustache who is older than dirt – Alan Young) with two buckets of water. The soldiers introduce the boys to him as Launchpad asks why he is young. See, young Billy lied about his age so he could join the army. I wondered what possessed Eric Kulas to get into ECW?! Hmmm...Nah; couldn't be. He could also blow a good charge since they lost because of that lousy, rotten, bungling, polecat McQuack lost them the battle of Duck Ridge. I'm wondering if they are going to expire if they keep gasping like that.

Launchpad asks about their time in the cave as we hear another voice and then see near a scarecrow (which looks like General Rhubarb) as it's good old Eagle Eye (the one with the long white beard, RIC FLAIR BROOMSTICK OF DOOM and glasses, Brian Cummings) as he is the lookout as he uses the broom as a gun. HAHA! And he of course keeps his glasses off so he pratfalls over a pumpkin and eats pumpkin on the way down. You know what; I have a new found respect for Barney O'Tourek after seeing that spot. I can take them being old and a little over the top with their hate for Rhubarb; but that pratfall was insulting to me. And of course he could have seen good if it wasn't for that meddling McQuack and his stupid horse Disgrace losing the battle of Duck Ridge. Yeah; I know I made up that name; but Grace is the second in command so there you go. I see the gasping has tired them out which is good attention to detail there. Launchpad thinks that they are really in a rut. NO?! REALLY?! Eagle Eye gets his broom on cork and decides to leave as the soldiers want him to stay with the visitors but he is on guard duty and has to leave see. He gets a little too excited with Grace (thinking that she is a female dogsperson) and Grace backs up towards the STOVE FROM HELL (helpfully pointed out by Dewey) and takes some hot coals right in the horse's ass. HAHA!

She sniffs the smoke (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVING RATING AND QUACK PACK EPISODES!) and jumps into the air and grabs onto the spike ceiling in Scooby Doo fashion. I see Gluefoot was her husband. AHHAHAHAHAHA! STOMP! OUCH! Ummm... And of course the spike column breaks and drops onto the ground in front of the ducks and soldiers. There is one of those out of context things that will cause problems; trust me when you see it 15:31 into the DVD. Then more spikes fall down as we get the shot of the roof shooting spikes (Helpfully pointed out by Doofus of course) as everyone runs out of the cave like scalded old dogs and ducks. Oh; the irony! Eagle Eye wants the Merriquack moved and the men wheel it out successfully without any further incident as the cave gets caved in and the chickens flee. Well; that was quick and pointless wasting of time. The soldiers sob on cue because they cannot return to Duck Ridge in shame since it would be too great. They have no place to go as LP finally blames Rhubarb of being an idiot. So he calls on the troop and proclaims that he cannot change the past; but he is going to give them a second chance to redeem themselves as he thinks he is pointing at Duck Ridge as solider #1 blows him off as the other way. HAHA!

Launchpad catches himself of course and tries the left side; but the soldier blows him off again as the red ring on his belt slides down his ankles. If you cannot guess what happens next; you have no business reading this rant. LP explains that tomorrow at Duck Ridge they will re-enact the battle commemorating their loss. LP plans to give them their battle alright and LP is going to lead the charge as the chicken is on his head again. HAHA! He salutes him as the chicken bites his finger and as I expected him to he trips backwards and lands on his back with a decent bump. HAHA! Eagle Eye questions his troops on making sure he isn't Rhubarb McQuack. Billy proclaims that he guesses that it runs in the family. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. They shake their heads in shame and that ends the segment 17 minutes in. If it wasn't for the obvious logic break; this episode would be perfect....

After the commercial break; we head to the top of Duck Ridge as the balloon is stationed near the cliff. We pan down southeast to the ground near the street in town as the party has begun in earnest. We cut near the stands as Dewey has the binoculars ready with Louie and snickers as the town thinks that LP is going to lose this battle. Louie proclaims that they are going to show them what would have happened if LP was really there. I think this battle is going to end badly at this rate; I just know it. Louie asks if this is going to work of course. We then head to the balloon as the pig furry is sitting in the balloon; but the old soldiers come up from behind and sack him good like ham. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! We then pan over to the three re-enactment soldiers laughing their asses off as we see Huey come from the rock hiding place with a glass of lemonade telling them that lemonade is being served back here. The three stooge troops buy it of course and go behind them where we get the FCC-FRIENDLY PUNCH OUT OF DOOM off-screen of course. We zoom in and see the old soldiers come out proclaiming that they still kept up with the styles. They chuckle as Huey runs to the cliff edge and waves. Which leads to the pan shot ANIME BACKGROUND OF DOOM to ground level as Dewey and Louie proclaim that phase one has indeed begun.

They give him the circle sign and we get another anime background to reveal Launchpad on Grace the horse. We go to the starting line as we see Launchpad on his horse along with Beau on his. Rufus is on the podium with the microphone as he trusts that the boys know their roles. But if there are any problems; he'll prompt from his script. We then see Beau draw out his sword (wearing the gray uniform with red trim as there is another Confederate flag in the background) and proclaim that he will lead my brave soldiers forward to victory and the humiliation..ERR...defeat of the McQuack Marauders. The crowd cheers on as the old lady tells DuBarque to do it again while waving a flag of DuBarque holding the sword with his mouth. I betcha that doesn't get past BS&P considering what happened with Seton Hall. LP gets all evil and LP rides the horse towards Duck Ridge as we cut back to the podium as Rufus (Funny that he has feathers in his last name despite not being a duck; just noticed that now) is testing the microphone and clearing his throat to annoy me. Ah; I see they moved the cannon off the sidewalk (from earlier) onto the podium just for my amusement. He orders the soldiers to their faces as he has the rope to the cannon as we see Beau on his white horse in front of the gray uniform troops. Sadly; they don't get the cool red trim. Funny how Disney Captions claims that the soldiers are chattering when it's the crowd who is doing it.

So we head up the hill to see Grace climbing up the hill with Launchpad. She IS Gluefoot's husband and she knows it. STOMP! OUCH! Ummm... She turns around and the old soldiers cheer that Launchpad hasn't screwed up yet. Huey and Doofus come over and tell Launchpad not to do anything and then history will not repeat itself see. Launchpad loves this plan because he cannot lose; except at cards, sports, checkers, and video games. Thank you Doofus for revealing a gem I didn't need to hear as....So we head down to the podium shot as Rufus has the rope ready as he calls the gentlemen and ladies of the highest order. We get a shot of the old period folks and then back to the podium (and another shot of the Confederate Flag) as Rufus has the honor of saying: Let the battle of Duck Ridge commence! He shoots the cannon at exactly the 19 minute mark as the white horse neighs wildly of course. Beau takes out his sword and it's forward march as the soldiers march forward. We cut back to Launchpad as he takes his sword out of the holder...and it works! IT'S A MIRACLE! Launchpad then orders his troops to kick their ass (kick them in the pants) and Rufus is SHOCKED to hear that as he checks the scripts and finds nothing of the sort.

He goes to the microphone to General McQuack; but Louie literally pulls the plug on the microphone underneath before he can tell him that it isn't in the script. A man shouts out as Rufus notices that his microphone is dead. NO?! REALLY?! The troops and Beau stop as they see Launchpad's troops coming down the hill as they should have long ago as Beau calls Launchpad a lunatic. I love real comments that you know. Rufus is pouring papers on the podium as he cannot find anything in the script. Beau and the troops are stunned as the soldiers have got them cornered as they always want them...and then the fatalism kicks in for Launchpad as he wants to join in. Huey pleads for Launchpad not to do it; but Grace starts the Gish Gallop of Death. Dewey and Louie are not liking this from below as we get the binocular shot of Launchpad jumping over the cliff and naturally he tangles himself into the ropes this time around. HAHA! The air balloon gets dragged down as Rufus realizes that this IS in the script. See; Launchpad DID want to give Rufus what he wanted after all. No one stops the power of fatalism; not even Launchpad. Beau and the soldier rush to attack while McQuack is up (or down; does it really matter). Eagle Eye in the balloon does do something good for a change as he undoes the sand bags to get more altitude as Launchpad and his horse panic like crazy.

We then cut to the MerriQuack as Huey and Doofus get on top of it. Doofus tells Huey that the grits are loaded in the cannon and they can begin the second charge. Well; LP is out of the picture, so this should go smoothly. At least in theory. Huey tries to pull on the wooden brake; but it is rusted and will not budge. You know you are screwed when THAT happens. So we then see the balloon rise up into the sky as Launchpad panics again and then the saddle gets undone. No; really, I'm as shocked as you are. Launchpad drops like a stone with his sword and pushes on the wooden brake so hard when Huey bails that the MerriQuack gets started up again and goes down the hill. Doofus proclaims that he did it and started the second charge as he flashes Launchpad again with the camera. We see some cheering as everyone cheers for death. The old soldiers bail away stage left to avoid the charge as Young Billy is inside the Merriquack (I thought we forgot about him) with the cannon and he fires it calling them ornery polecats. The gray uniform soldiers eat grit and it tastes good to them I see. More shooting as Beau takes one to the face as well. The MerriQuack races into town with reckless abandon as everyone in the crowd bails from the stands and the MerriQuack crashes into it and destroys the stands of course. HAHA! Launchpad rises from the carnage (with Beau SHOCKED and APPALLED) with Doofus and young Billy as the old soldiers surround the gray soldiers with their rifles set to profits.

Beau waves the white hanky and finally decides to surrender. HAHA! The old soldiers cheer for victory on that one as we go to the scene changer as all the babyface players are on stage as Rufus states that it is agreed. Rufus decides that they will no longer celebrate the humiliation of the soldiers. And we get to say that behind the Confederate Flag too. See they were at the real battle and the rest were not. The old lady gleefully blows off the obvious logic break for me which makes her the smartest one in the entire episode. Beau clears his throat as he calls them gentlemen as the old soldiers are SHOCKED to hear that. Rufus proclaims that they suffered long enough and they of Duck Ridge wants to welcome them into the community for good. Everyone cheers on cue as we cut to Launchpad and the nephews (along with Grace) as LP asks where Doofus is. And there is Doofus on the front side as he has the camera and asks for some cheese. They give him some cheese and we get one final flash. We get the B&W stamp shot of the gang against a black background as Doofus proclaims that Rhubarb would be proud to end the episode at 21:16. Nah; I think he would BE JEALOUS! Minus the obvious age logic break; this episode was AWESOME! **** ¾ (95%).


Well; it was damn close but it didn't quite get over the perfect hump. This was a truly surreal experience for me since you don't normally see a civil war re-enactment on a Disney show; or a children's cartoon for that matter. I do see a few Confederate flags in one (Scooby Doo comes to mind) though. Launchpad; needless to say was the star from start to finish and everyone else played their roles well including Beau who turned out to be just a sub-tile heel as Baloo would say. I also loved the build up to it and the old soldiers as well. The only thing I thought was bad was the obvious logic break. It's a civil war and it happened over 100 years ago; so the soldiers should be dead actually or ghosts in this case. The only other thing that annoyed me was Eagle Eye's pratfall into a pumpkin, but everything else was dead on. Oh; and maybe Doofus' overuse of the camera of course; but at least he reeled it in about 15 minutes in. So; while I didn't get a perfect episode, I got an excellent one which was great considering the first one I ranted on earlier today. TMS' animation was great too; minus the anime background in act three. So next up is the Christmas Eve rants with Sweet Duck Of Youth and Earth Quack. So...

Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you next time.


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