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Sir Gyro De Gearloose
Ah yes; the F-Bomb episode!!
I've decided to do a detour in my rants since I'm on the last disc of Ducktales and Duckman and Down & Out are really, really heavy on the pathos and get me down about three notches too much at this point. So; I'm going to do this episode first since it's the funnest one on the set. Strangely enough; despite all the episode appearances with Gyro; this is the only Gyro focused episode of the lot. It's also famous for another character; although not for any good reason. Although the problem doesn't appear in this DVD set; it does appear in the first run syndication cut of this episode. Hence the caption above. So; let's rant on shall we..?!
This episode is written by Mark Zaslove. The story is edited by Patsy Cameron and Tedd Anasti. I've already mentioned Mark Zaslove in my TaleSpin re-rants so I won't mention him again.
We begin this one on a street as the nephews are dragging a robot and they are all messed up with paint. HAHA! I see Gyro's inventions have gone nuts-oid again. The nephews are PISSED; and Louie has his baseball bat which is a bad sign for Gyro Gearloose right off the bat. The robot is a painting robot as Dewey proclaims that they will never get the fence done in time because Gyro's painting robot is smashed up. And then Huey and Dewey invoke eye contact violence on Louie. Louie claims it was him or me. It's a freaking painting robot Louie. What is the worst it can do? Tickle you in the groin?! That train left the station when Kit got it in Polly Wants A Treasure; albeit unintentional on Sun Woo's part. It only try to paint the limo which somehow makes the excuse slightly better. The nephews hope he has time to fix it as he has been busy lately. Louie then realizes that they might have to take a number as there are furries lined up as Gyro's house (and all of them are ducks. Does Gyro have a bigotry problem against dogspeople or pigs or something?!). We head inside to Gyro's work bench as Gyro is fixing something complaining about working and being here since dawn. Man; I didn't realize that Gyro became so reliable that about two dozens furries would line up to have him fix something considering that Gyro's only real clients are Scrooge, the nephews and maybe Doofus and Launchpad. I guess word of mouth does work in Duckburg. And then he turns around and sees the greatest sight I have ever seen happen to a useless gimmick: Vacation Von Honk (voiced by Benny “Jesus Christ Superstar” Dennen for the first time since Double-O-Ducks) in barrel pants without his goofy hat nor sunglasses. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Funny considering that the nephews and Webby are pant less. Yeah; I know Magon explained why (it makes animation easier); but it still doesn't change that fact one bit.
I see he still has his camera. Vacation Von Honk blows off Gyro's dressing invention. Now why would Vacation Von Honk need one since he wears the same outfit every time he goes on a vacation?! He then shows the dressing invention and it dresses itself. Now you know why that invention never took off. It's a technocrati invention; not a customer invention. That proves Vacation Von Honk is an idiot. I know he's a customer; but I wouldn't buy that thing because I can dress myself. Gyro considers fixing it and Vacation threats to book him a long, long trip if he doesn't fix it by tomorrow morning and then storms off. I don't think you want to do that Mr. Von Honk; that's doing Gyro a favor. And that's the last time we ever see him as he is only used to be a rag doll for my sick pleasure. Gyro wipes his brow as in comes a female duck in a purple dress (Okay; so Gyro isn't a bigot against dogspeople...but what about pigs?) with a purple ribbon in her blond hair (Russi Taylor) and she's a lot nicer in asking him to fix her toaster. Gyro agrees to it as he puts it on his table and plugs it in. He places two pieces of bread into the toaster and pushes down; it pushes up after five seconds and goes about 30 feet into the air and basically creates holes in his roof. HAHA!
Gyro proclaims that this is just a compensating screw loose; nothing to worry about and easy to fix. He screws it too much and he does the bread spot again and it spins around and does a hole through Gyro's table which actually allows the girl to blow him off; and then go into a hissy fit and storm off stage left. Notice that they keep calling him Gadget Man. Gyro has had enough of being called Gadget Man. I agree; if he was Gadget Man; he would be either a inspector or a boss in Mega Man. He goes off on this Grade A rant (for a dork) and then throws the toaster down onto the ground like a girl. HAHA! The toaster is destroyed of course right in front of the nephews' feet. Dewey thinks that they came at a bad time. NO?! REALLY?! Gyro notices the nephews and asks how he could serve them and Louie states that they only came to say hello. If there is one thing worse than bringing a gadget to PISSED OFF Gyro; it's being dishonest as to why you are here to see him. Even Gyro isn't buying it as the automatic painting machine is clear in Gyro's sights. The nephews proclaims that every time they use it; they think of him. Well; that's a half truth at least. Gyro goes over and uses the screwdriver to fix it and wonders about going to another time and another world where he would be looked up as someone other than a Mega Man boss character. Gyro storms out as the nephews still covered in paint are as confused as I am...
Post-Production Glitch #1: Half second black slug. I hear that every series with 65 episodes needs to have at least 15 of this in order to feed Michael Eisner's sick desires. Vince's turn on is ruining lives; Michael's is half second slugs.
So we head to a shot of Gyro's house as everyone has left (I guess word of mouth has poisoned Gyro's reputation. As if he cared. Mass customers relations are not Gyro's strong point as with all geeks and nerds.) as we see the nephews coming in hoping that Gyro is feeling better. And then we get the CARTOON HOUSE EXPLOSION OF DOOM as the nephews are horrified as Dewey hopes in roundabout terms that Gyro didn't destroy his spinal column. Everyone runs into the house and they see Gyro doing work on what would become known as the Time Tub (Time Teasers anyone? It also became the prequel to the Shortcut later in Time Is Money) which Gyro calls here the Sometime Tub. Gyro does the finishing touches with his wrench as this is a time machine using a tub to sit in. The nephews are impressed by this and so am I. See; it can not only take him back in time; it can break all reality. This is one of my fanfic plot devices in Unforeseen Impact (which was a sequel to an unwritten fanfic story in my AeroStars series about Gregory AeroStar's first trek into different realities; all based on the decision beings make in time and space. Doctor Who type stuff. Only it uses tears into reality which are sewn up by two time gods: Spirit Alpha (beginning of time) and Spirit Omega (end of time). UI was completed more as a story to sew up what happened to Molly's father and basically to expose Molly to harsh reality that Rebecca and Kit tried to protect her from and the most harshest was the connection between Molly's father and his demise and Kit's status as an Air Pirate. It's a painful story from start to finish; but it does have a happy ending; but Molly isn't the same Molly we know and love ever again after this.).
He climbs on his pile of junk and proclaims that he wants to be somebody like a poet; an artist, a knight even. Why build a Sometime tub Gyro? Why not just buy a VCR and get Mr. T's Be Somebody; Or Be Somebody's Fool? Sure; it's terrible for most of us; but for Gyro it would actually be an improvement. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... He decides on the knight and I cannot take him seriously with that plunger of his. I was right in skipping Duckman today; because this episode is so fun to watch and mock. Anything but a Gadget man as Gyro jumps down and takes his clothes on a stick. The nephews try to give him his tool belt (in case of emergency; bring a magnet! HAHA!) and Gyro grabs it and throws it away. Why? Because he hates being Gadget Man see. And he destroys the table and shelf toppling everything down. The nephew back into the tub as Gyro still has the magnet and takes a bucket to his head. HAHA! Some stuff (including the SHANE DOUGLAS MOP OF DOOM – So that's why he's in a rut then!) falls on Gyro and that starts the machine and the tub spins around like a toaster and then disappears with the white screen.
So we head outside about three miles from the castle as the Sometime Tub appears and spins around some more before coming down to the grass. Huey cuts the Wizard of Oz promo (you know which one). Then we go to the closeup and somehow the tub is now about a mile away from the castle. Explain THAT one kids?! Gyro points out that there are knights coming. That leads to a king (check the crown and red robe) and a blue robe and hat (with white stars) wizard with a banana yellow sash riding a jackass. HAHA! I'll get to the king in a moment; but we cut to the wizard on jackass (trust me; the nephews know this better than I do...and yes; I have seen this episode basically from start to finish) as he addresses himself as Moorloon the great wizard with a German accent (voiced by Barry Dennen). Ah yes; this guy who's German accent would cause some real problems later on. I'll explain when we get to that point. And he will protect the king because he's a great wizard. Moorloon turns around with his jackass and invokes the HAND OF GOD on the blitzing Black Knight and his horse (Barry Dennen's third voice).
The jackass drops Moorloon on his ass with a wussy bump (no really; I'm as shocked as you are) and bails stage right. As least the bump matches the character this time. All it needs is the squeak sound and he could audition for Lord Chuckles The Silly Piggy. He could call himself Lord Moorly The Silly Ducky. AHHAHAHAHAHA! ZAP! OUCH! Ummm...And we get the off-screen “I cannot look” spot from Gyro and the nephews as Moorloon gets horse stomped. HAHA! The black knight circles around as we see Moorloon up with a horseshoe up his ass! HAHA! Too bad it didn't make him jump for joy. Moorloon tries the holy sphere and throws it; but the Black Knight bounces it back and right into Moorloon dropping him on his ass with a much better bump this time. So the The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past team stole that trick from this episode. I feel so betrayed; or I would be if this is how great games are great. In that case; Zelda RULEZ~! Dewey has had enough as Huey has his slingshot ready and wants to get the refugee from the junk heap. Gyro then has a MIMI JOKE PLAN up his sleeves.
He looks for a bike tire and wait a minute? Wasn't the point of being somebody was that Gyro didn't want to act like a Gadget Man? We see the knight's horse circling Moorloon. Man; this knight is REALLY STUPID. PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY ALREADY~! And then the king's horse shows up and blocks the way just as the black knight is about to blitz again. D'OH! And the king is forced to duck as the crown sails in mid air after a pass from the black knight. So much for that one King Artie (Richard Erdman for the first time since Launchpad's Civil War). We circle around again as we cut to the Time Tub as Gyro uses the slingshot bike tire on a Y-pipe (Gadget Man? What's that? Me not know how those two go together?) and Gyro invokes the SHANE DOUGLAS MOP OF DOOM and it works. By god it's works! IT'S A MIRACLE! Eat your heart out Dick Flair! Okay; it only forced the black knight to be snagged on the saddle and bounce onto the ground with his horse out of control. BUT IT WORKED DAMMIT!
King Artie wants the strange device as a conversation piece for the next royal party. Moorloon and Artie goes over to the Time Tub as the king calls it a good show and calls Gyro a knight. Gyro is SHOCKED at this because they didn't call him Gadget Man. Of course he didn't Gyro. The word gadget hasn't been invented yet. Artie circles around and loves the bucket on his head and likes Gyro's unique form of jousting too. See; Artie usually just holds onto his lance. Moorloon wonders if it's jousting or magic. Artie then welcomes them to Quackelot (which explains the duck references to Moorloon and Artie) as the nephews think he's King Arthur. Artie blows it off because King Arthur is a dull son of a bitch. Artie is a king who loves to PAR-TIE! I see Dale and Baloo would fit in quite nicely in this kingdom. He jumps from the horse and does a dance giving us a really intentional shot of his ass dancing. Artie wants to pray for some names and Gyro addresses him as Sir Gyro De Gearloose. I'm sure Jymn Magon would claim that Gyro was doing a James Bond impression like Kit Cloudkicker does. Except like Kit; Gyro acts odd (and it's clearly more unintentional than Kit's who managed to pull back and make it look more convincing). Artie wants him and his squires (the nephews) to come with him to the castle for the royal party. Gyro is so happy to do this of course.
So we logically head to the heel castle of doom. We know this because there is fog; dead trees, the castle looks deranged and there is a blue flag on the right side. Lesdred (I know it's him since his Peter Cullen voice gives it away) is ticked off that the black knight has failed to dispose his uncle who is King Artie. We head inside to Lesdred's office as Lesdred (dogsperson wearing all black with black hair, gray shirt, white Mickey Mouse glove for the fashion faux pas and has gator like teeth and the evil porn mustache) blows off the Black Knight and he takes off the helmet and he's a white swan. HAHA! Opposites do attract after all. See the Black Knight has been fighting against a bucket head Gyro and Lesdred blows him off. 2:1 odds Disney Captions will call him Les Dread. He really blows the swan off by yelling into the top of the armor! Now THAT'S a bad ass heel.
The opposite knight apologizes and I'm wrong as he is addressed by Disney Captions as Lessdred. Personally; Les Dread is going to be my spelling for it because it makes the most sense for this heel and it's totally badass. Les Dread flops onto his chair and proclaims that he's tired of always being second best. (Flintheart: Join the club bitch!) See; Artie had more treasure and parties, and brains. Quite frankly; Les Dread has better knights since Moorloon seems to be the only one who can fight and he sucks at it. I'd say he's got something to work at. The black knight calls it true and Les Dread isn't going to let that stop him from taking the throne and the crown. He got Dukie visions in his head; which is not healthy since it always leads to pinched noses and bad Gummi Berry Juice recipes. Thankfully for Les Dread, his nose is much smaller than Dukie; so it will be harder to pinch. He also wants the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. And he also has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN. Before What About Mimi was invented too!! Cue the evil laugh as we logically head to....
...The dragon cave as the black knight swan is forced into the cave by Les Dread. And there are bones everywhere; so you can understand why the black knight isn't thrilled to be forced in. So we head inside the cave and there is a Red/Yellow Spotted Dragon snoring. So it better have lightning abilities along with fire breathing or I'm going to be so disappointed. It's just not the same after playing Final Fantasy during my childhood. The black knight comes in and throws a rock proclaiming that it's from King Artie. I didn't know dragons have brains. The rock nails the dragon with a weak shot (what a surprise?) and he won't sell anything as the black knight proclaims that King Artie states that his mother works for scale. That's not an insult; that's a compliment! No wonder this black knight sucks so badly.
More rock throwing and no selling from the dragon make Gregory Weagle something something (you know this sequence is too funny when I have to invoke something from MUGEN to explain the action) as the black knight claims that his father has a white soft underbelly. So the father was a Frost Dragon. That partially explains the yellow spots on the dragon then! That last boulder actually makes the dragon sell as he wakes up (trust me; it wasn't the insults that woke him up) and the red dragon spits...green flames?! Okay; that is different. I guess his mother was a cross between a fire dragon, a yellow dragon and a zombie dragon. The black knight blocks with all his might and his armor and shield melts...and then we cut to King Artie's castle before he burns to ashes. Which indicates that the black knight inside is dead. Cinema 101 people! When will we learn that?!
We head to King Artie's Castle. We know this because it's building look solid and clean and the red crown flags are whipping more violently in the wind. We head inside the dining hall as all the denizens of King Artie's train are seated and having a feast including Gyro and the nephews. I see Moorloon has joined in for fun. King Artie raises his gold goblet and praises the bike tire slingshot Gyro made. And it's powerful too as Gyro swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (oh shucks!). I see some fair duck maidens seated and standing in the king's presence too. Moorloon is not impressed about Gyro's abilities and wants to demonstrate his magical powers against Gyro's technology. Moorloon jumps out of the table and performs the Earthquake Shake and it's so powerful that the entire film seems to split literally in two (and not evenly I might add) complete with thunder and lightning. HAHA! King Artie casually tells him to knock it off because he is trying to have a conversation. HAHA! This episode is too damn funny to mock. Moorloon sits down and disses Artie for ignore him because he's the royal magician. I think you can sum up Moorloon nicely with what he rides on in the first scene he is in: A jackass (and Rupert The Bear actually allowed the word jackass directly in his cartoon despite being rated TV-Y (TV-C in Canada)). He does the Gruffi pose and hates Gyro with a passion. If you want to insult him; call him Gadget Man. That will make him sell.
Artie wants to talk about science with Gyro and he wants him to demonstrate. Gyro decides it's okay since he isn't making any gadgets see. So he brings out his magnet (just for such emergencies such as this) and throw it at a suit of armor about 100 feet away and sticks right in the heart. That is one strong ass magnet since in real life; you need to be about 4 inches away to do that with the same magnet Gyro is using. But that is fuzzy cartoon logic for you. The blue dressed duck lady (Russi Taylor) wonders how Gyro did that. Gyro explains that it's a magnet; but Gyro wants to talk about Quackalot stuff instead. Why? Because he doesn't want to be a Gadget Man see. And they all answer the same way: Ummm; no, not really Gyro De Gearloose. We then cut to the nephews eating wieners on a stick. HAHA! As I said before in Heavy Dental; I hope that we never see these nephews selling hot dogs with their name on it. Something tells me that Disney would have a boycott on their hands. Even more so if they were Quack Pack nephews. Huey calls this the life and it's sort of like one of Scrooge's BBQ's. Minus roasting the weenies over an open fire. I betcha the red dragon comes in through the open window and burns Dewey wieners (both ways) to ashes. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good. And HOLY CRAP; that flame actually made contact with their heads and they come out with minor injuries which looks like small cuts that are trying to bleed; but cannot. Okay that's it! I'm officially declaring the nephews NUTS! I thought Kit Cloudkicker's one inch bullet away from the head in Plunder and Lighting Part Two was nasty?! If this doesn't get cut by Toon Disney; then Disney ought to be ashamed of themselves. And then we see the red dragon's head and neck roaring and breathing flame outside against an open window. And that ends the segment nine and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head outside the castle as we see the red spotted dragon looking on as there is smoke coming outside. Man; he did more damage than I thought he did to Dewey's wieners (both ways). More breathing flame into the open window as everyone flees outside the door proclaiming every king for himself. Well; King Artie did anyway. Coloring mistake: When Gyro runs out; his red hair is now white. Unless this is a sign of him being allergic to green flames and red dragons of course. Figures; knowing him. More flying and green flame breathing make Gregory Weagle something something (that's TWICE I had to do that MUGEN Homer promo) as Gyro, Moorloon, King Artie and the nephews hide behind a cart of barrels with the red WE KNOW IT'S ALCOHOL BUT WE ARE NOT TELLING drink King Artie gets on Moorloon's case for being a wizard and being able to stop the hellish-spouting beastie. Brimstone is DTVA's sub for Hellfire by the way (as said in Pizza Pie In the Sky) before it turns the castle into cinders. I am so digging this episode. And then the red dragon invokes the POWER OF THE PUNCH and destroys a castle wall as Moorloon proclaims that he doesn't do dragons. I don't blame him; he couldn't stop a wimpy swan in a black knight suit of armor to save his life. I noticed that there are Christian Crosses on King Artie's crown as Moorloon wants a knight to do it; more to the point Gyro De Gearloose. HAHA! Gyro gulps and stammers on cue. He is Honker's nephew. AHHAHAHAHAHA! ZAP! OUCH! Ummm...At least I didn't call him Gadget Man. POW! OUCH! Ummmm..
Huey knocks on barrels and King Artie proclaims that it's the royal beverage which is cider. I don't understand why people who hate censorship think cider is not an alcoholic beverage. A lot of ciders have alcohol in them; more to the point apple cider. That's why there is a difference between apple cider and apple juice. I can understand censorship haters for dubs that have alcohol changed to juice or tea; but cider is a gray area. Usually it's falls closer to alcohol due to being near pubs. Cinema 101 strikes again. The nephews ask Gyro if they can rig up an anti-dragon device and Gyro scratches his head and thinks why not. Notice how he doesn't seem to be thrilled doing this? It's because he's still being Gadget Man despite the fact that he went to this era to get away from it. They are building this episode up perfectly and it's no surprise since TaleSpin writer and co-producer Mark Zaslove is writing this episode.
So we go to the scene changer as Gyro and the nephews wheel the cart of one barrel which has a hose attached to it. Umm; if this is cider; then we are going to see one dead dragon since the alcohol inside the cider will basically flame up in his belly and explode in his chest killing him. Which would be true; if BS&P wasn't around. The nephews jump on the pumper and on three they use their web feet to jump and push as we have the CIDER SHOWER OF DEATH right in the red dragon's mouth. Well; the red dragon is not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer (sharper than the swan black knight of course) as he tries to counter; but only blows bubbles. Heh; I guess that is quick burning off alcohol. It's animated; what did you expect?! The red dragon hiccups and flies away so badly that he is drunk to the gills. I told you there was alcohol in that cider; but would you listen to me? Noooooo....
Everyone cheers for victory as they return as the only real damage done is that the right side of the castle IS ON FIRE! However; King Artie seems only concerned about Gyro's good show. He wonders why the dragon was so ticked off as Moorloon is not impressed and calls him lucky. And then he calls him out on his gadgets. So there you go; Moorloon is responsible for inventing the word gadget which will haunt Gyro Gearloose for the rest of his life. He does a really wimpy Kit Cloudkicker kick on the ground too as King Artie calls him incredible. He loves that gadget too and then Gyro snaps right on cue. HAHA! Nice to see Mark Zaslove write that cheapshot in for my pleasure. King Artie loves something that will crank out crown shaped party hats. Okay; now this is an AWESOME king to hang out with. And I betcha Gyro will be PISSED off on THAT one. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good.
Interesting Moment #1: So we head to Moorloon's room as he is in agreement with Gyro for a change. HAHA! Moorloon tries to bang the magnet on the table; but no dice because it is not metal see. HAHA! However; the real funny part (which for moralists it was heinous) was when Moorloon bangs it on the table he yells: “WORK! WORK! WORK!”. On the DVD version; this is what Moorloon said. In the first run syndication; this is what he said as well; however, the Teutonic/German accent of Moorloon had him sounding more like “F***! F***! F***!”. And yes; it rhymes with duck. Donald Duck seemed to have the same problem in his shorts in the past. This was the infamous F-Bomb episode of Ducktales (and probably started the Donald Duck F bomb scare later on since no one but Peggy watches DTVA allegedly.). And since it was clear as day that the accent was trouble; in the second run syndication it was re-voiced without the accent to make it sound like what Moorloon was going to say in the script.
Amazing enough; Baloo's unintentional F-bomb was kept in Plunder and Lightning Part Four because it was partially blocked somewhat by Kit and Rebecca's cheering; or that one would have been re-voiced as well. And it's difficult to find good boy actors who have good talent these days and Ginny McSwain wanted no part of Alan Roberts at that point (According to Jymn; apparently; Alan had attitude problems with Ginny which explains why he only got one cameo role after TaleSpin was over. Sad because Alan Roberts was actually a really good voice for Kit and he gave Kit a part of his character that R.J. Williams couldn't give that made him awesome: the dramatic tragic side that made him look fragile at times. RJ Williams was better at the cocky side of Kit; which as I said was an important part of Kit becoming such a believable and almost realistic character. The kind of guy who can be legit tough in one moment and then as fragile as an Internet Tough Guy. Now let's continue on with the rant....
Moorloon sobs really badly declaring himself a failure. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Everyone loves the Gadget Man. Too bad he doesn't like himself Moorloon. And he wants to make gadgets like him as we cut to outside as Sir Gyro De Gearloose proclaims that he will show them that he is a noble knight and daring and brave. He closes the visor and it's en grade time as he jousts forward with the horse covered in purple and banana yellow. He tries to slay the knight hanging from the gallows (a doll one obviously); but the lance drops down; hits rock and Gyro gets thrown into the air and where he lands I don't really care. Got to like Dukie promo cutting on Ultra Cool Sidekick Toadie. He actually manages to land with a sick MAN-SIZED bump into the stone fence. HAHA! And then he drops on his back as the nephews try to help him up and take his helmet off; but it won't budge. So Dewey gives Huey the Swiss Army knife (set to can opener; how fitting) as Huey opens the helmet top like a tin can.
Gyro asks if he knocked off the dummy and the nephews say no. Liars! We all know he did; if only he knew WHO the dummy was. HEE HEE! POW! POW! POW! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Ummm...Gyro proclaims that he is not giving up as we cut back to Gyro on his horse again and he closes the visor again and cuts his promo. We blitz again and this time the lance is on a wooden training wheel. HAHA! That is so awesome to watch and fitting considering how Gyro is failing every time he tries to be a knight; but succeeds when his Gadget Man skills come into play with his knighting. I'm loving how this story is going. And this time; he MURDERS the real dummy as there is almost no rope left on the hangman gallows. The nephews cheer in the background of course. Gyro takes the visor off and proclaims that he is a great knight. Huey is grateful for him and asks him about going home. Gyro blows it off because he doesn't want to go home. He is born to be a knight see as the nephews look like they are screwed again.
So we head to Quackalot Castle AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark and a lot of drinking) There is a full moon rising as we zoom in and then go inside Gyro's bedroom for the night as Gyro is in his night gear with no blankets and dreaming of being a nasty knight lancer. We then pan over to the nephews sitting on the bed as they wonder if Scrooge is worried about them by now. Louie proclaims that even if Gyro sent them back home; they don't want to lose him in this time. The nephews decide to stick with Gyro because he's their friend see. And then they hear door slamming as we head outside the hallway to see Moorloon walking and blowing off Gyro and his gadgets. I think he wants to MURDER someone. With the magic that makes Zummi's bad magic look like Tellah's?! Yeah right! I think Gyro is perfectly safe as the nephew open the door behind his back and look on. The nephews decide to press on the spying gig as we head to outside near a forest as the nephews are on a horse and they notice Moorloon going towards a draw bridge.
We then pan southwest as we see Moorloon goes into the castle via the drawbridge and the iron gate falls down and the drawbridge lifts up. The nephews then take the LEAP OF FAITH (TMS gravity is down again) and the nephews hold on to the draw bridge. I'm guessing that we are near Les Dread's castle now given the lack of leaves on the trees. They manage to walk onto a terrance and then go spying near a window as we hear Moorloon talking to Les Dread at the table as he proclaims that he had his differences in the past. Les Dread reminds him about turning him into a cockroach. Considering Moorloon's magic; I think he's fibbing on that one. I see the Black Knight lived on through the Red Dragon BBQ cave scene earlier. Moorloon claims that it was an “accident”. As the lead heel punk rocker heel in Jem would say to Raymond: You're the “accident”! Like I said before; this episode is way too easy to mock. It's like shooting fish in a barrel; both ways. He was trying for the Lufia Newt see. Moorloon has a proposition for him. Does Moorloon realize that you cannot start a sentence with a proposition?! Les Dread asks for money and jewels and Moorloon states that he has those; but..and Les Dread agrees without question. Moorloon asks if he wanted to hear his role in the MIMI JOKE ZON E PLAN and I betcha he doesn't because he is going to turn on Moorloon right away as revenge for turning him into a newt....
It doesn't happen. At least not yet as Les Dread calls it dirty and underhanded. See; Moorloon wants him to MURDER Gyro basically and he knows a secret entrance to inside the castle. He hates the gadgeteer too. The nephews realize that they need to get out of here and warn Gyro. And then they climb down the pipe towards the ground which has a conveniently placed window where the Black Knight is RIGHT THERE beside it to allow the nephews to be captured easily. HAHA! Now THAT'S being on the ball as the dumb swan knight just did the smartest spot of his career in a matter of thirty seconds. Louie gets captured last as he realized just how (insert swear word here) he really is and that ends the segment 14 and a half minutes in. Did I mention how awesome this episode is?
After the commercial break; we head into dungeon as the nephews are chained up against the wall. Sadly; there will be no torture on them as contracted out by the Disney execs; but this is close enough. Don Karnage would have a field day with these nephews as he did with Kit. The door opens and as I expected earlier; Les Dread turns on Moorloon and has him thrown in the dungeon as Moorloon takes a really good bump on his face. Moorloon still thinks he's on Les Dread's side. HAHA! You wish Moorloon. You think he has gotten over your bad magic tricks?! Les Dread proclaims that no one is on his side except himself. Geez; then what was the black knight and your guard for: Strawman duty?! AHHAHAHAHAHA! Moorloon whines about it because he told him how to get into the castle and capture Gyro. Les Dread doesn't want to MURDER Gyro; he wants to MURDER King Artie! To Moorloon: INSTANT FACEPALM! Moorloon realizes that he was such a fool. NO?! REALLY?! And the nephews are standing RIGHT THERE chained up waiting in wait to really blow you off for trying to MURDER Gyro. This is going to be great. That's why I called Moorloon the equal to the ride that he was on when we first saw him. No wonder Mark Zaslove got the second in command job behind Jymn Magon for TaleSpin.
Les Dread slams the door and laughs as he's off to capture Quackalot. And now it's PISSED OFF NEPHEW BLOW OFF TIME~! And it's really Grade A stuff that would make Scrooge and Flintheart hang their heads in shame. Even Kit Cloudkicker would blush at the double crosser being double crossed line considering what he did to Don Karnage...twice! Moorloon sobs badly as usual trying to justify his action and making himself look like a bigger jackass in the process. I am so loving this scene. Then in an amazing surprise; they stop (DAMMIT! It was going so well too. Time constraints I hate thee!) as it turns into the usual “You have this over the gadgets” and Moorloon proclaims that his gadgets are special. Counter with magic being special as they realize that Moorloon has been taken for granted like Gyro. Now Gyro I can understand him acting like a piss ant for being used as a Gadget Man; but Moorloon's magic sucks like crap so I can see why he deserves to be taken for granted. That's why the nephews should just verbally pound him to the ground until he submits. I wouldn't think any less of them for doing so..and it gives me laughs and makes Scrooge and Flint look like babies.
So we head into King Artie's room as King Artie is asleep with a big ass candlestick (and candle) on the table. It's also in front of the mirror which shows the vanity of having such a big ass candle. He hears shouting and wakes up wearing green PJ's. He thinks it's a party as he goes to the window and sees Les Dread's army (HOLY CRAP?! Les Dread's army is huge! Considering that he only had two other guys tops before this. I guess King Artie is the symbol of BE JEALOUS by everyone else. King Artie isn't panicking yet because they'll NEVER get through the castle wall. Under normal conditions; yes. But Moorloon has turned on you; so you just never know. And of course they discover the secret entrance as Les Dread on his horse ushers the soldiers into the entrance on the sky shot. I see there are a lot of people with a personal grudge against him. I guess King Arthur was pissed off by King Artie calling him dull and boring and decided to help Les Dread conquer the kingdom. And Les Dread is so heelish; that the last one in gets the rack. The Artie Knights get beaten, sacked and dropped down from the terrances to the ground probably dead from the fall.
We then cut to Gyro (in the exact same pose as his previous attempts) proclaiming that this is his time to prove himself as a knight. He charges as the horse starts his charge and it's the Training Wheel Lance Blitz of Doom~! I never get tired of seeing that spot. He goes through the knights without making contact at all; and then orders the black knight to stay away from the draw bridge which is partially up. So he lets go and the bridge comes down. And of course; the training wheel fails him and he gets his lance stuck and thrown from the horse. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not even his Gadgets are saving him now. He's like Kit Cloudkicker in It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck; only there's no cute little girl screwing with him. Gyro is pretty much doing it himself. HAHA! He falls into the tall grass with a decent bump as we cut back to inside as King Artie has his golden staff and tries to fight back which shows how clueless and brave and foolish he really is.
So the knights surround him and they blitz him as we get the FCC FRIENDLY CLOUDDUST FIGHT OF DOOM which never ends well for the babyface in DTVA as Les Dread causally rides in as King Artie is caught and he calls him a blaggard. That is a nice way of saying You Bastard actually. The fact that Open Office doesn't see it as a word gives that fact away. Les Dread calls him out for being such a bad manners man as an uncle and King Artie proclaims that if he was a blood relative; he would long for a transfusion. I betcha that never gets said again in the new Disney as a joke. Les Dread decides to arrange that as he orders his men to throw him in chains. The two knight guards force Artie away as Artie threatens that Les Dread will pay for this. Les Dread states that he might but only with the money he stole from Artie's treasury. SCORE! After all; pay is something I buy; and Les Dread really has nothing to buy from Artie anyway. The old Lufia 2 Dekkar speech. Cue evil awesome laugh as he rides away on the horse.
We then head back into the dungeon as Moorloon paces around asking the nephews if he isn't really a bad magician after all. My answer: You are a bad magician. Not evil; just crappy. Funny; but crappy. Sometimes for the wrong reasons too. ZAP! OUCH! Ummmm...Okay; I'll continue on. Dewey claims that he is a great magician; but a bad inventor. Ah; no Dewey, he sucks at both. Louie is right about the moral of the story for Moorloon; but it doesn't matter because he sucks at the thing he does best too. Then he gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY (after thinks that he is relieved natch) and goes to the prison door as Huey finally blows him off. HAHA! Come on nephews! Don't be afraid to tell him how you REALLY feel about him! Dewey gets his attention as Moorloon bangs on the prison door and cuts a deal with him: Release them from bondage and they will help him redeem himself and save King Artie.
Sounds like a fair deal to me; although releasing the nephews from the chains and dungeon will be difficult considering Moorloon's lack of skills at magic. Moorloon agrees to the terms and starts casting the SPELL OF SATAN and I'm expecting them to be turned into frogs; but the chains disappears with a golden effect. OH MY JONAS! IT'S A MIRACLE! His magic worked! He is so smart! He is so smart! SMRT! I mean SMART! Personally; I liked him when he sucked so BOO! HISS! The nephews dance around as Moorloon calls that a simple spell. Probably the only one he can do properly. Now he's a Level 4 mage at this point. He'll have to get to level 10 before he can be considered a decent wizard. Moorloon needs his pouch in order to do some more things complex. The nephews decide to help him with that as they go over to the prison door and call out the royal guard and then we fade to black. WHAT?! DAMMIT! I wanted to see if they tried the “your shoelaces are untied” spot Kit did to Dumptruck in I Only Have Ice For You”.
So we head outside to a hill as we see the nephews and Moorloon on horses talking about how Moorloon turned the guards into newts. BS&P? What BS&P?! And they got the horses that they stole from them too. Moorloon giggles as he is now a level seven mage. Just three more levels to go and then he'll get over the hump for good. They see the castle is overtaken and the nephews realize that they are too late and Quackalot has fallen. The nephews then hear a groan and drop down from their horses to the tall grass. Huey and Louie grab Gyro's legs and pull him out with Gyro doing the worst selling I have ever seen this side of fake Vyse in Skies of Arcadia Legends. Dewey pulls off the helmet and it works this time. So Gyro has improved on that level at least. Gyro proclaims himself to be a failure. Maybe as a knight; but as a laugh machine, no way! Gyro realizes that he is only a gadget man as Moorloon proclaims that this is what they need right now.
Moorloon proclaims that knights are a sovereign a dozen and they all failed. They need something special and Louie needs a super duper mechanical marvel that only he can make. Gyro wonders what he could create against a thousand knights. Moorloon grabs the magnet that he stole..ERRR..I mean; borrowed from Gyro and it sticks on his armor...and then Gyro gets inspired on cue. See the whole point of the episode was that Gyro doesn't realize until why he IS a Gadget Man no matter how much he runs away from it: Because he thinks being special is completely wrong and creates misery. However; when trouble comes and nothing else works except for the special talent Gyro HAS; he realizes just how important being a Gadget Man REALLY is. And like A Bad Reflection On You before it; it is written in such a way that it doesn't feel contrived or forced and it's built up properly. Ducktales did it well half of the time; TaleSpin did it most of the time. And Mark Zaslove was one of the big writers for TaleSpin. Moorloon proclaims that with gadgets and magic; they will rescue the king. So that means both will redeem themselves in balanced formation.
So we head inside the throne room as Les Dread puts the crown on his head and sits on the throne while the white swan black knight (with helmet off guards beside him). He claims that purple is his favorite color and the white swan gleefully answers that one for me. HAHA! The wheels squeak as Les Dread goes over to the window wonder what the heck that could be. We then head outside as we see Moorloon, Gyro (out of his knight gear I see), the nephews and two bulls carrying the GIANT ASS ELECTRO MAGNET OF DEATH! Bye, bye Les Dread, we hardly knew ye. Les Dread blows off the black knight for being an obvious idiot. HAHA! He orders for the men to be called out and give him a hope chest. Les Dread: I've seen your chest and there is no hope. He wants to give Sir Gyro a warm welcome. So we go to the drawbridge as it is lowered already and out comes the knights. Louie isn't so sure; but it is showtime.
Moorloon states that this will work as apparently the knights has helmets like the MASK OF VULCAN and decided to not bring the horses forward. They'll find out if this works soon enough as Moorloon takes the dust from his magical pouch and casts the SPELL OF SATAN (purple magic) as he throws it into the clouds and seeds them with thunder and a pinch of lighting. We get the thunder clapping all around which is really dangerous for the nephews and everyone else (death by lighting anyone?). I mean this is pretty crazy and Kit should know better than anyone else. The lighting still misses the magnet poles; but the power of suggestion lights up the poles anyway (helpfully pointed out by Gyro). Gyro goes over and pulls both levers (WRONG LEVERS!) and the purple electromagnet fires as three knights get pulled in due to the metal they are wearing, duh. Dewey of course gets off the LAMEASS PUN OF THE DAY (magnetic personalities) brought to us by Ed Brayton and his always thrilling DUMBASS QUOTE OF THE DAY. Everyone else gets pulled in for fun as the nephews run stage right to get the king. Oh goody!
So we head to the throne room as we see King Artie (in PJ's still) and the nephews along with Gyro and Moorloon walk in and see that Les Dread is not here. Huh? They wonder where Les Dread is and we hear him pleading for someone to get him down and then we see up in the ceiling Les Dread and the black knight (with some armors and swords to boot) stuck to the ceiling. HAHA! Now THAT is one strong ass magnet. I guess the crown King Artie is wearing is made of solid gold since it didn't fly up to the ceiling. We go to the closeup of shaking hands by Gyro and Moorloon (I say Moorloon has become the level 10 wizard now) as the nephews join in for the friendship hand shake. And then we get the glitch Michael Eisner wants in order to turn him on as we head to the sky shot with the Time Tub in the courtyard as the knights, Moorloon and Artie say their goodbyes to Sir Gyro and the nephews. Artie wonders why he needs to go because Gyro is such an awesome guy and all.
Gyro states that he is no longer need now that Moorloon has totally redeemed himself. Sadly; Moorloon still sucks at gadgets though. Gyro climbs in along with the nephews as Gyro proclaims that he has automatic dressing machines and toasters to fix as the babyfaces wave goodbye as Gyro twists the hot and cold knobs on the tub and the Time Tub spins around and disappears as the crowd yells long live Sir Gyro. We then cut back to Gyro's lab as the Time Tub reappears and spins around before finally stopping. Gyro is so happy that he climbs out and grabs his saw (and amazing enough; his lab is almost clean as a whistle. That's the first logic break of the entire episode at 20:29!) and kisses it. EWWWWWWW! He loves his tools, machines and gadgets. We then see the nephews looking at the clock and Louie wonders if the time is right. Gyro explains that he sent them back only one hour AFTER the time they left. Now THAT is great attention to detail. The nephews call him a genius of course as there was a knock on the door. We then see that it's the girl with the purple dress who had the toaster which created a hole in Gyro's work bench. She apologizes for her blow off and really thinks Gyro is the best gadget man in the entire world as we see that Gyro is blushing. UH OH! He has a new girl friend. She even brought flowers and sniffs them. Gyro proclaims that he wouldn't have it any other way. Gyro winks to the nephews and the nephews wink back at him to end the episode at 21:15. You know what this episode is getting. ***** (100%).
THE REVIEW LINE
I was right in picking this episode to rant on as the first one on the last disc; because it turned out to be as awesome as I remember it and then some. This in my view is Mark Zaslove's breakout episode as a writer because it flowed beautifully. From Gyro's funny failures as a knight (the top peak being the training wheel lance); to Moorloon's crappy but funny magic; to Les Dread's bad ass heel laugh to King Artie's fun parties; to the nephews getting chained up and captured so easily by the wimpy black knight; the black knight's really lame insults to a red dragon; to the red dragon's awesome green breath that should have fried the nephews' head to ashes. Plus; it came with an awesome story that reminds me of how A Bad Reflection on You was built: Slow build up of Gyro's hatred of being a Gadget Man; Moorloon showing how to BE JEALOUS and then both realizing that they were better off with their talents because they are the only ones who can do it during their time periods and were only taken for granted because no one else have the ability to do it themselves like those two. They redeemed themselves; we got a creative finish and Les Dread is defeated the only fitting way: Being stuck to the glass ceiling of his own ego. Maybe he shouldn't have turned on Moorloon after all. But that's bad ass MF'ing heelism for ye. Excellent TMS animation as always and only one logic break at the end (which is borderline since that girl at the end probably cleaned up the barn as an apology to her blow off on Gyro earlier.). I so love this episode and this is the episode I would show as a teaching tool for all new writers to see. There are many examples from TaleSpin; but I'll just be accused of being bias anyway. This one is my favorite and the best Ducktales episode in my view. So; next up is The Money Vanishes as we see Gyro screw up Scrooge again with yet another invention that the Beagle Boys get. Sound familiar? See Time Teasers. So.....
Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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