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Maid Of The Myth
Now we go from getting a Doofus focus episode; to a Mrs. Beakly focused episode (the first one since Golden Suns I might add) as she gets kidnapped and become a Valkyrie Opera Singer Turned Chariot Racer~! Ummm; yeah. Let's rant on and see if opera and cartoons mix better than video games shall we..?!
This episode is written by Anthony Adams. The story is edited by Patsy Cameron and Tedd Anasti.
We begin this one at the Duckburg Theater AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as a number of formal wearing furries are walking outside and going inside. Then we go inside as the formal dressed furries take their seats as the music warms up. We pan to the northwest as we see Scrooge, the nephews and Webby sitting down. In regular clothes I might add. That gives new meaning to the term sticking out like a sore thumb. Scrooge proclaims that Mrs. Beakly is singing here and if she wasn't he would come. Huh? Scrooge dislikes opera? See; operas are long, boring and you cannot understand a word. That's because they are usually sang in Italian or Greek or Norwgeian depending on what European playwright is doing the production I guess. The nephews claim that opera could be worse since they got lousy seats needing binoculars. Webby blows it off because Mrs. Beakly claims opera is exciting and the males respond by sleeping and snoring in their seats. Oh yeah; that wasn't intentional in the very least no siree. To make matters worse; the nephews are doing the “quack-quack-quack” snore I hate which is not a good sign for the episode quality as Webby states that it's for charity. And the males snore some more as the half waken eyes reveal that they are screwing with her mind now. And now Webby is mad and does the Gruffi pose as the Rise of the Valkyrie music begins to play as we go to the far shot of the stage and then the curtain rises to reveal Mrs. Beakly dressed up as a viking with fake blond hair. Notice the armor and the circles on top positioned in the correct position where breasts and nipples would be. Oh those cooky animators at TMS; what will they think of next?
And she's wearing the blue circles belt which indicates that she'll turn into Cookie Monster later on in the opera. Or maybe not. She of course is singing on top of a glacial mountain singing to the tune of the Rise of the Valkyrie. The viking soldiers are at the base of the mountain and we get the roll call of the dumbest, wimpiest vikings in history. There's Quacky McSlanty, Gyro Gearloose (check the glasses) and a few others as Mrs. Beakly trips and does the cannon ball MAN-SIZED bump down the stairs and knocks over the soldiers like dominoes as everyone laughs their asses off. I agree; that is the funniest thing I have ever seen Mrs. Beakly has done. I say to Hoppo: BE JEALOUS! AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm.. Quacky McSlanty breaks his spear on that one too as we continue with Mrs. Beakly singing without wasting a breath. She is like the wrestling opera singer after blowing a spot so badly and then getting up to continue as if nothing had happened. She then backs up and bumps into a tree as it comes down and Mrs. Beakly manages to catch it and return it from whence it came as the crowd laughs that one out of the theater. She then sings on the far shot of the stage with a tree in her hands (laugh all you want; but Mrs. Beakly can hum extremely well).
And then we go outside to a northwest pan sky shot as we see at the harbor three viking ships (and one of them on the far left has the sails of the Japanese Flag! I cannot tell the other two though) as we cut to the docks to a pelican fisherman with a lantern and has a smoking pipe (that is the fourth time I have seen someone legit smoke in Ducktales and NOT be cut by Disney) as the viking ship come in and he panics and bails (Terry McGovern) The lantern gets sideswiped and the dock is on FIRE! The ships dock and down comes a duck dressed as a viking with long brown hair and a beard. He also has a sword. Then we see more viking blitz the docks as the stevedores at the dock panic and drop their cans of soda in a box. One rolls to a viking's feet and two vikings surround the dogperson stevedore in purple (Terry McGovern). The stevedore asks if they are a dream and of course they aren't.
Then it's Halloween and the viking aren't so sure about that one. The stevedore thinks that they aren't real vikings and of course the vikings giggle on that one as the stevedore bails stage right. The tall viking grabs a soda can and shakes it; then opens it and it's the spraying cola can. HAHA! They get pissed...for about two seconds as they slurp and figure that it's all okay. They then steal the soda cans from the boxes and load them onto the ship as the Vikings set the entire docks on fire! This is just great as the tall and short viking get back onto the ship (and they stole a television I see) as the shorter viking (the one with the all hair beard) bows before Auric (Disney Captions have him as Yoric for some strange reason) as he turns around and he's the viking with the Valkyrie helmet (instead of the horned ones the underlings are wearing) with one square tooth, spear and lots of hair as he hears something which is Mrs. Beakly's hummimg.
Auric is voiced by Kenneth Mars who started as a book publisher on Car 54 Where Are You in 1963 and The Trials of O'Brien in 1965 before landing as Harry Zarakardos in He & She in 1967. He was also in the movies Viva Max, The April Fools and Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid along with The Producers and What's Up Doc? He was Inspector Kemp in Young Frankstein, The Parallax View and Night Moves as Nick. He did mostly cameos in television; but landed a major role in Fernwood 2 Night as W.D. 'Bud' Prize and the same character in America 2 Night. He started voice acting in 1980 with The Fonz & The Happy Days Gang as an additional voice. He was Vultor/Buzzard in the animated movie The Adventures of the American Rabbit and was on Teen Wolf as Mayor Marconi. Square One fans would have seen him as Hans Balpeen during the Mathnet segment; and he was Mr. Potato Head in 1986 on Potato Head Kids. He was also the master mind in Police Academy 6. Ducktales was his DTVA debut (and he would be Vulcan in A Ducktales Valentine); and he would be in TaleSpin as Professor Buzz and Hemlich Menudo; Darkwing Duck as Tuskerninni, Bonkers as Sourpuss Clown, Tarzan The Animated Series, and The Little Mermaid as Triton (both animated series, movie, Kingdom Hearts video games, prequels. House of Mouse etc.). He would go on to be Grandpa Longneck in the Land Before Time OAV's (from #2 to #12), Malcolm In The Middle as Otto Mannkusser and in video games such as Soldier of Fortune 2: Double Helix and Freelancer. His most recent credit (not Kingdom Hearts related) is Miley Cyrus' own show Hannah Montana as Gunther. He has over 190 credits to his resume and was himself in Group Madness, She Na Na, Carol Burnett and ABC Comedy News.
The short viking (Kenneth Mars) thinks it's wolves while the tall Viking (I'm guessing it's the ram handler viking which doesn't matter since both he and Thor are voiced by the same man: the returning William Callaway.) thinks it's WildCat. Ummm; Wildcats sound more dimwitted than that; more than you actually. Auric wants them to come as we return to the stage to see Mrs. Beakly singing surrounded by the fake vikings. I just realized that the second viking on the left of Quacky McSlantly in the red glasses is Vacation Von Honk. So there you have it folks: both one note gimmicks in the same room beside each other for the only time in this series. And we cut to the front door of the theater and the door slams open and here comes Auric and his vikings. Now do you understand WHY I gave Dances With Bigfoot a negative rating?! Everyone is in horror as the vikings raid the aisle and steals as many rich items as they think they can stand (which is a lot). Scrooge is starting to warm up to this audience participation as he would chuckle.
The fake vikings see two of the vikings (short and I'm guessing the ram herd viking with red hair) coming from backstage and they bail stage left like a bunch of scalded ducks with the armor off. And Mrs. Beakly; like a wrestler performing in a burning building continues her humming without as much of an interruption. They get charmed as we pan up to the catwalk and Auric swings like Tarzan and outclasses Kit in a way by kidnapping Mrs. Beakly and by himself getting her to stop humming!! How about that?! Scrooge actually LOVES this opera now. And the hardcore opera watchers weep in sorrow. Like I give a damn. Too bad the one with Sewernose was the BETTER opera; if only because the writers played that one on sheer intentional comedy instead of playing it to make Mrs. Beakly blow spots unintentionally. Webby calls it romantic (HA!) as Scrooge and Webby duck to allow Mrs. Beakly to scream badly while Auric swings out of the theater. The viking bail out as a pig furry slams an ax next to the right side of the door.
Scrooge gets a real chuckle out of this inside as even the nephews are having second thoughts about the “fakeness” of this opera. Kind of like questioning the fakeness of professional wrestling right Doctor D?! Scrooge thinks that this is all for show and then a viking steals his pocket watch (with a dollar sign on it natch) and Scrooge changes his tune quickly and runs after the viking. The kids run as the TMS animation sucks here as they make it to the door and stop on a dime as Huey examines the ax and proclaims that it is real. Louie notices that those ships are real as we see the viking running down the street. I don't want to be the spoilsport around here; but doesn't someone notice that THE DOCKS ARE FIRE?! Dewey deduces that they are real vikings or really good actors. NO?! REALLY?! They steal a shopping cart load of stuff for fun as Mrs. Beakly continues to scream badly as everyone gets onto their viking ships. Webby notices that they kidnapped Mrs. Beakly and the babyfaces run after them THROUGH THE DAMN HELLFIRE; but the ships have already left the port by the time they get to the docks.
So we head to morning as Scrooge is in his speedboat on the microphone with the Captain thanking him as Scrooge explains to Launchpad (in the driver's seat on the left side. No wonder anime purists hate dubs since they would reverse this scene) is driving with the nephews in the backseat. See; the viking ships were spotted by a fishing boat off the coast of Greenland. Huey proclaims that the speed boat LP has will get there in no time as no one is wearing life jackets this time. How about that?! Must be a really early episode in production since BS&P stepped in with the life jackets since then. The nephews nearly fly over the side as the speedboat leaves the docks. So we head to near Greenland as the speed boat dodges under glacial ice as Launchpad proclaims that Greenland isn't very green. HAHA! Dewey has the binoculars and he stutters when he claims that there is no sign of the vikings. Is he stammering because he's scared; or is he because it's very cold and they forgot to pack some fur coats like in later episodes? Scrooge orders LP to stop the motorboat and LP sells it as Scrooge asks everyone to listen. We then hear the viking sing to Rise of The Valkyries. And it's annoying as hell as the males cover their ears.
We then cut to the viking ships sailing as the vikings are laughing as ram handler viking shakes another can of soda with short viking and they open it and it sprays in their faces again. They babble and laugh like idiots of course. We then see Mrs. Beakly sitting down in a chair doing the Gruffi pose which indicates that they didn't kidnap her to kill her at least as Auric asks her to sing while addressing her as Brunhilde and fair. Mrs. Beakly no sells and man that voice of her sounds like a male as she demands that they take her home. Auric claims that they ARE taking her home and Mrs. Beakly gleefully blows him off for that one. So we cut back to the speedboat as Scrooge has the binoculars and a blanket covering him as he tells Launchpad not to get too close to the ships. And Launchpad has nerves of steel since he has ice all over his ice while driving. HAHA! So we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE O.J. WHITE BRONCO EDITION~! We head to an island of green paradise within ice as the ships slowly sail in and we see the slender viking wearing vanilla blowing a ram's horn at the front of the ship.
We then cut and zoom into the village as the denizens (in traditional European outfits; mostly dogspeople and female) stand near the edge and cheer. The motorboat sails in and an icicle from the ceiling manages to come down; forcing Scrooge to panic. Launchpad gives full gas by pushing a lever (WRONG LEVER!) and they dodge the icicle easily. So we then cut to the beach as the ships have docked and the vikings unload their spoils of victory...that they stole from Duckburg of course. And Mrs. Beakly gets the Macho King royal treatment with orange blanket too. Mrs. Beakly gasps as she loves this reception as we cut to near a house and see a female duck with blond hair wearing a pink robe; purple shoes, a tiara and lots of gold. She is Griselda; the queen of Auric who isn't impressed in Rebecca Cunningham fashion. Auric tries to suck up to her with Scrooge's pocket watch and she takes it looking happy in an instant. We then get more unloading the plunder and Griselda wants answers to Mrs. Beakly's royal treatment and arrival in general (Tress MacNeille). Auric calls it not exactly plunder.
So we cut to the motorboat docking as Scrooge, Launchpad, the nephews and Webby (huh? She was on the motorboat? I didn't see her at all. Logic break #1 for the episode) jump down and cross the YELLOW SWAMP OF DEATH on the stepping stones. Launchpad proclaims that they should have called this place Greenland. I guess this is Iceland considering that difference as Webby asks why it's so warm. Dewey steps onto the rock and notice that it's the gold hot springs that keep the whole island warm. We then get some more walking as they see villagers chattering about on street level without a care in the world; so the babyfaces hide behind a wooden cart filled with hay. Huey asks how are they going to sneak into the village. Louie of course states the obvious problem of sticking out like sore thumbs. As opposed to Mrs. Beakly? AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm. Launchpad then points out the answer which is on a clothesline near a house.
So we go to the scene changer of doom as Launchpad dresses up like a viking. He thinks he looks great in the get up. Now if he gained 100 pounds or so; he would be PERFECT for the part. Sadly; for him the suit isn't in fashion anymore outside of acting as he tells Scrooge that someone is coming. And then here comes a shepherd girl with a spear and a tiara which I'm guessing is Swanwhite (Tress McNeille) as she skips around the mud patches and hails Launchpad as a brave warrior. HAHA! Brave in funny; lobster in fighting as they say. And then we get the white SONIC RAMS OF SPEED (seriously; they run in as if Sonic was teaching them how to run) as Launchpad of course screws up his greeting. Launchpad then puts down the old black cape on the mud trick that they should retire and the white rams stomp on it splattering mud which misses LP by two feet. Huh? So BS&P allowed no life jackets and no fur coats; but somehow splattering mud into LP's face isn't allowed?!
Swanwhite asks LP for forgiveness since they don't understand the noble gesture. They don't misunderstand it; they hate the noble gesture because it's older than mud. LP calls her beautiful and she walks across the mud with no effort at all and then Swanwhite proclaims that LP is not a viking. BUSTED! See; real vikings have no manners, no tenderness (apparently; neither does the MPAA considering their decision when it comes to R to NC-17 content difference. Sally Struthers had a saying about it too) and of course no beard. Although when it comes to TaleSpin and even Ducktales; they knew how to grow a beard in terms of quality. Of course; that isn't what Swanwhite had in mind. Launchpad sweats like bullets as he is starting a trend see. Swanwhite loves it and calls for her rams which are addressed as Starlight and Starbright (Frank Welker I presume.). So half of the vikings have no names other then Thor and Auric and yet both rams have names? Swanwhite runs off stage left as Launchpad proclaims that she really, really loves him as we see Scrooge and the kids dressed up like a perfect viking with Scrooge gleefully pointing out why she really, really likes him. HAHA! Webby gets the head of course as Scrooge grunts and struggles as he claims that this is going to suck. Launchpad claims that it will not suck. I think this is revenge for all the stuff Scrooge said to him over the series since it's clear that Scrooge is on bottom for this disguise. Just walk like a viking better of course.
So we head to the well as short viking, medium viking and ram handler viking (the one with girly spiral hair in the front of his beak) are exchanging notes on the left side of the well. They then notice Launchpad and the struggling Fake Viking walking as Launchpad runs interference claiming that they missed the raid and they would like to work with them in the future. And Launchpad whisper yells to Scrooge that it worked as they walk slowly stage left. Sadly; Launchpad is an airhead and steps onto the shoelace attached to the shoe of the struggling Fake Viking and they fall down like dominoes. The short viking grabs the helmet on the way down when it bounces up and it reveals Webby. BUSTED! Scrooge blows off Launchpad; but then realizes that he is seriously (insert swear word here) as the nephews are exposed and the vikings surround them to end the segment almost ten minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to the CHOP SHOP OF DEATH outside and then zoom in as we see ram handler viking with an ax and short viking surrounding the babyfaces. Where is Webby in this? Or did BS&P think girls being too close to ax's is a no-no? Short one wants them fed to the sharks. We then hear the other vikings cheer in the background as they are having their feast. The ram handler viking with the ax wants them to by fed to the polar bears. So he's the one who MURDERED Colonel Spigot's grandmother then! I just needed the evidence to prove it. The vikings pop on that one as Launchpad has a suggestion to feed them and let them go. If this works (and I doubt it); then the vikings are beyond the pale stupid on par with letting Kit go free from the execution squad in The Time Bandit. And they no sell with axes. Huh? How did short one get on now? We then cut to a nephews shot of the feast on the left side and we see Auric and Griselda sitting down on their thrones looking quite impatient. Launchpad chuckles on the throne shot that it was worth a try. Auric isn't thrilled by feeding them to the shark despite the thrill the sharks get as short one would say as the vikings laugh in the background.
Auric proclaims that he wants something more interesting for a deadly punishment. Scrooge wants to make a suggestion and Auric blows him off because the language is that of a whimpering dog. HA! So Scrooge changes his tune and blows Auric off for being a trembling lamb who whines through the whiskers of a goat. Ooooooo... Now THAT is Scottish Fighting words there Scroogie. The vikings are not impressed as Scrooge calls Auric out and wants a real challenge to decide their fate. Auric likes that: man against man. So he decides that it's a chariot race. Yeah; he went for the BS&P special route of course. If Scrooge wins; they win their freedom including Mrs. Beakly (and Webby standing next to her); their fair Brunhilde. If they lose; well, they lose everything and probably their lives to boot. Except for Mrs. Beakly and Webby who will probably suffer worse. No need to explain that one as Auric calls out the man who will challenge him and out steps....Launchpad? Oh this is going to be fun as Scrooge actually agrees to it. After all; fatalism is his game as Auric loves this and the ram horn blower from earlier blows his horn and we get some rumbling and then from the door shot we see a Viking (with a deer helmet) stopping a pair of black rams with large horns calling them the Wingammo! Okay; that is a kick ass name that someone in the horse racing industry should steal. Auric introduces Thor (William Callaway) who is the mightiest viking of them all as Mrs. Beakly and Webby embrace each other on the close shot. The crowd hails Thor as we get a profile shot of the black rams rubbing their hooves on the ground and the crowd hailing Thor. Thor whips the rams to keep them quiet and then enters the CHOP SHOP OF DOOM while the rams snarl outside. The shadows engulf Launchpad as he chuckles as he does call this a challenge.
So we head to a far shot of the ram stables as the ram handler viking walks with the nephews, Scrooge, LP, Webby and Mrs. Beakly. We go in as the handler goes for the special racing rams as Launchpad would say. The handler returns with the oldest rams this side of Valhalla (as helpfully pointed out by Mrs. Beakly). The handler laughs (giving away that he's trying to stack the deck in favor of Thor) as they are the “only ones” available and “apologizes”. The handler laughs it up as he walks away stage right as Launchpad thinks some perking up and practice will help as the old white rams bleat weakly...and then wheeze badly. The gang feels like this is going to be difficult as we head to a right pan shot near a house as Launchpad gets onto the chariot as the babyfaces urge him on. Launchpad takes the reins and flips them after a count of three; but the rams jump up and then drop dead. HAHA! And the chariot gets destroyed of course as Launchpad takes the wussiest bump I have ever seen this side of Getting Antsy. LP proclaims that this is not what he had in mind. NO?! REALLY?! Mrs. Beakly wonders what they can do now as then we see the saving grace as Swanwhite (with Starlight and Starbright) ride in her chariot. Launchpad greets her and asks about giving her pointers.
Swanwhite proclaims that she heard of Thor's trick (in other words; he KNOWS that the vikings are stacking the deck for him) and she has come to help him see. LP doesn't want any help; but Scrooge nails him with the Rebecca elbow to shut him up. That is one devastating elbow there Scroogie. Scrooge is grateful for any assistance she can give to them. She offers to give him her chariot and even up the score with Thor. Scrooge calls this great and wants Launchpad to start practicing as the black haired white rams look not amused at Launchpad crash a plane a minute McQuack. Launchpad gets onto the chariot as Swanwhite explains that it takes special commands to race rams and she wants to see how good a student Launchpad is. Launchpad gets giddy and shouts giddy up while whipping the reins and the rams run for about three second then jerk down so hard, Launchpad flies out of the chariot and takes a wussy bump onto his face. HAHA! See kids: Never screw around with a lady and her pair of rams. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Launchpad asks what other commands do they know.
So we head back to the stable on a sky shot as the babyfaces plus Swanwhite watch as Launchpad races around the stable in a circle. By the way: left turn is Woweena and the right turn is Waalooga. Mrs. Beakly hopes Launchpad can tell which is which. Short answer: Probably he won't at 3:1 odds. See one mistake and Thor will win this one. So we head to a sky of the ice and ocean on a shining golden full moon DURING HAPPY HOUR (Two Drink Minimum!) as we pan over to Valhalla as we go to the front door of the CHOP SHOP OF DOOM as Grisedla watches from the door ajar. Auric wants Mrs. Beakly who is now the songbird of Odin to sing some more. Everyone cheers inside as they are having another feast in her honor I guess. Short viking does some more pop cap opening and spraying on himself to amuse me as Mrs. Beakly drinks a glass of water while the vikings cheer and whistle at her doing it. Perverts! She wipes her head with a pink cloth and decides to sing one more time as an encore. The crowd cheers as we see Griselda bring out the bag containing the volume reducing powder as she wants Mrs. Beakly's voice to be weaker. Considering Joan Gerber's acting as a voice actress; I don't think this is needed you jealous little queen.
We go to a far shot of the village as we pan over to a boardwalk bridge near a mountain as we see some of the vikings trying to pull down a tree with a cart of rams. See; they realize now that it's a fair match now and now they have to CHEAT TO WIN instead of trying to stack the deck since Swanwhite screwed up that part. We then see Thor and his Wingammo Toothgnashers rams whip from the west and stop near the short viking (Wait; shouldn't he be AT the feast? Logic break #2 for the episode.) as he is addressed as Ragoth (Chris Barat missed that one; although I think he means Raganrok which is the twilight of the gods according to Norse folklore. Sometimes Valkyrie Profile can be fun to sort out). Ragoth proclaims that the screwjob is ready to commence. Apparently; the viking near the tree is addressed as Snagnar (Chris missed that one too and he I think should be at the feast too at this time for logic break #3). See; he will cut the pulley rope with an ax which will cause the cart with the battering ram (get it?) and it will knock the supports on the bridge; causing the bridge to collapse with Launchpad's chariot with rams to fall with him. LP is mutton stew and dead and done along with his friends and Brunhidle. Thor is grateful as he might be the mightiest warrior of all; but he doesn't take any chances see. Thor and Ragoth laugh on the far zoom out shot and that ends the segment nearly 16 minutes in. This scene takes the Economy of Characters trope a wee bit over the line, I think.
After the commercial break; we go to a ocean level shot of outside the icy realm of Valhalla and the a closeup shot of the entrance as the ice is crumbling from the sides due to climate change, DUH! I love it when Disney can do that spot and not make it so obvious to offend anyone. I also notice that the ship magically appear on the final shot when the piece of ice falls down despite not being there previously. Logic break #4 for the episode. And so we head to the starting line (with a checkered flag on the starting line no less. Huh?!) as the vikings line the streets popping and both Thor (with Wingammoes) and Launchpad (with Starlight and Starbright). Well not quite as we head to the hut on the right pan to see Mrs. Beakly, the kids and Scrooge reminding Launchpad of the special commands to handle the white sonic rams. Launchpad at least has some knowledge of doing it so it's not totally hopeless for him. He does get speed up (Hiyah!) and he doesn't get stop as LP sits down tired. HAHA! Mrs. Beakly decides to get him some water. So we go outside to the left side of the huts (Huh? Weren't the huts on the right side of the finish line?) as Thor comes out with his whip to a popping crowd like Hulk Hogan on speed. He goes to his chariot as he notices the stacked deck isn't so stacked anymore. Ragoth informs him not to worry; since once he reaches the bridge, Sagnar will arrange the chop and he's dead see. Simple enough without the over-dramatics. Swanwhite notices them right away as she tells Starlight and Starbright to stay and then goes to the hut on the right side (oh screw it) as we go to the well and see Griselda dipping a spoon into the bucket and puts water into a wine glass.
And then she fills it on the close shot with the volume reducing powder as she proclaims that Mrs. Beakly will squeak like a mouse for days. Now she wonders how Beakly is going to drink it. And there is Mrs. Beakly right there stage left asking for a glass of water. Griselda gives it to her and Mrs. Beakly thanks her for it and walks away stage left. She rubs her hands in glee as we head inside the hut as Swanwhite comes in with her spear exchanging notes with Scrooge on the situation. Scrooge tells her to take him there (I'm getting tired of the Ja pattern speech in this episode by the way) as Scrooge and Swanwhite leave while Mrs. Beakly enters and gives the wine glass of water to Launchpad. Launchpad thanks her and then guzzles it all down. Wow; Griselda is actually helping Thor and she's not even TRYING TO screw Launchpad since she wants to screw Mrs. Beakly for having Auric ignore her. Facepalm halfway; viking laughter the other halfway, here she is stuck in the middle of just another Ducktales love in. Webby asks him about the commands and Launchpad proclaims that he knows and then his voice turns absolutely breathless as he lost his voice. Terry McGovern is priceless when he does that. Huey wonders what he's trying to say. Umm; check the fact that he can barely speak and then deduce from there my dear nephews. Webby wonders what they can do now and Mrs. Beakly proclaims that they must do something. I'm betting Mrs. Beakly takes over the race completely now. That's my final word on the final four minutes of the episode.
So we head to the starting line as Auric arrives and demands to know where the challenger is from the outer world since Thor has already taken the starting line with his black rams. And then out comes Mrs. Beakly from the hut dressed up like Launchpad. I called THAT one easily enough; because this is DTVA and we treat our female stereotypes with the up-most respect and integrity. I mean the size of the challenger is clear that who she is. And the glasses of course. The kids tell her to be careful and Mrs. Beakly thanks them for the support as she'll need all of it to win this race. So we then see Scrooge and Swanwhite run towards the bridge on the path as Swanwhite states that they must get there before the chariots do. We then go back to the starting line as Thor and Mrs. Beakly take their positions to a cheering crowd. Ragoth tells Thor to be the first to make it to the bridge.
We then cut to Auric and Griselda giving the motion to signal for the horn blower viking on a soapbox. He blows the horn on his signal and the whipping from Thor begins along with the rein flipping from Mrs. Beakly and THEY ARE OFF at 18:17! It's neck and neck through the village as the vikings cheer on with Thor getting a slight lead. They go to the mountain side and then onto the beach as Thor keeps his lead; but Mrs. Beakly continues to keep up as it's only a full chariot and a half difference thus far. And then Mr. Beakly manages to go neck and neck on the left side; so Thor bumps the chariot against hers to knock her back into second place into the water with a resounding splash. Thor whips away with the black rams as Mrs. Beakly blows him off for having the worst manners in history while being all wet. HAHA! So she whips back into action and back on track as it's hiya Starlight and Starbright; what star does she wish tonight? I betcha she wishes to go back to being a maid and only doing opera as a hobby again.
So we see underneath the main track about ten feet below on an edge Scrooge and Swanwhite running towards the bridge as Thor is arriving. We then cut to Snagnar as the tree near the bridge supports (and the battering ram cart) setting his ax to profits. Thor crosses the bridge easily as we cut to Scrooge proclaiming that Launchpad is way behind now while Swanwhite notices that this is going to get ugly if Snagnar isn't stopped right now. Snagnar waits for the second place rider to come as Mrs. Beakly is nearing the bridge. Scrooge and Swanwhite then slide down the mountain side and Scrooge uses the cane on the ax to distract Snagnar. Scrooge blows off Snagnar as a cheating barbarian of laughs. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. So Snagnar does some axe swinging to spin Scrooge like a top and throws him stage left as Scrooge crashes with an off-screen sick MAN-SIZED bump into the tree. OUCH! Scrooge is dizzy as hell sitting down in front of the tree with the rope. Scrooge then ducks the ax; which conviently cuts the rope tied to the tree as he panics while the battering ram cart rides down the hill with Snagnar watching on with glee. We get a race to the finish which the battering ram wins easily as the battering ram cart smashes into the bridge supports and the bridge completely collapses before Mrs. Beakly can even get to the bridge. Ummm; wasn't the point of the cheating was to MURDER Launchpad with the collapsing bridge? So the vikings failed after all. D'OH!
Scrooge feels sorry for Mrs. Beakly as Snagnar laughs his ass off. And then Scrooge gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as she wonders what to do now. We then cut to see Thor racing around the bend down the mountainside as Thor giggles and wants to let them know Thor is going to win easily and he slows down and blows his horn. The horn blowing is so loud that it causes some ice above the mountainside near the bridge to crumble. UH OH! If you cannot guess what Mrs. Beakly does next; then you have no business reading this rant. She sings enough to create an ice bridge across the abyss and she crosses the bridge to continue the race. So we see Thor slowing down even more as he thinks he has a hope chest and won this race in a squash. Umm; I saw Mrs. Beakly's chest and there is no hope for you anymore. POW! OUCH! Ummmm...He rides into the village and looks back and tries to go faster with the whip; but Mrs. Beakly by sheer force of will from the sonic white rams ride right into the lead and crosses the finish line by a ram's head for the win. And who's to blame for Thor losing? Griselda, DUH!
So we head to the beach BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as Launchpad is still barely able to speak to Swanwhite as he wants her to come with them home. Swanwhite refuses because Valhalla is her home see and Eric wouldn't like it (Disney Captions has it as Erik) as Launchpad wonders if it's Eric the Red. Swanwhite claims that it's not and it's only his boyfriend as a tall, large viking walks in with red hair. Her boyfriend is not Erik the Red. Riiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhtttt. Launchpad turns around and realizes that his ladies man routine is so BUSTED that he can only say hi to him. HAHA! So we head to the beach as Mrs. Beakly; the nephews and Webby are in the motorboat which Scrooge is addressing Auric, Ragoth, Snagnar and Griselda. Launchpad gets into the motorboat as Scrooge and Auric agree on the terms to trade peacefully with the outside world. Ragoth and Snagnar agree despite thinking that it's not much fun at all.
Auric blows them off because they must learn to live in harmony with the outside world. I cannot take that seriously from viking who speak yeah with ja. Really; I cannot. Griselda does the Gruffi pose realizing that she is at fault for Mrs. Beakly going home now as Mrs. Beakly and Louie say their goodbyes to the viking faithful and they wave goodbye in response as the motorboat sails away through the entrance as Scrooge admits that this opera was exciting this time around and Mrs. Beakly thanks him for his support at last. Mrs. Beakly then rises up and proclaims that there is lots more to sing to him on the way home as she sings Rise of the Valkyrie again and the echoing allows the entire cliffs leading into Valhalla to shatter and fall into the icy water below. HAHA! We see the motorboat ride northeast as we get one more sky shot of Valhalla to end the episode at 21:16. Just another Ducktales love in with some really glaring logic breaks. Still; this opera was fun; although the one in Rescue Rangers was tons better. *** ½ (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; that was a pretty fun ride; although it felt like there were a lot of little mistakes that broke logic (Ragoth and Snagnar were at the feast the night before the race; only to magically appear at the bridge a minute later in the same sequence). On the other hand; Mrs. Beakly as an opera star is funny and the viking I found really good although I didn't find Launchpad's lady man routine as funny as it was in Lost Crown Of Genghis Khan; although I did like Swanwhite and her sonic goats. And I would have liked them better if they dropped the ja like speech that they annoyed me with. I also liked how Griselda in her trying to screw Mrs. Beakly just to gain approval from Auric; only for it to backfire and give Thor a false sense that he didn't need to cheat to win anymore and in the end she indirectly gave the race to Mrs. Beakly; thus assuring Auric loses Mrs. Beakly for good forcing him to like Griselda again. Got that? I still think A Case In Stageblight is the better opera in terms of intentional comedy value. And we also got Vacation Von Honk and Quacky McSlantly in the same stage beside each other too. So next up on our final double rants; we move on to Much Ado About Scrooge. So.......
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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