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Bubba's Big Brainstorm
Which Seems To Be “Be Worse Than Scrappy Doo”...
Well; I guess we have to get through this one. I have been dreading this episode for some time. There is some relief in the fact that Bubba didn't turn into another Monty and that the writers tried to get him over and just left him in the background; but boy this episode sure killed him off as a character. It's the old standby “gain smarts and be a jerkass for no reason whatsoever” plot which I hate in hindsight now. I'll explain when we get to that point; if I am in a good mood. So let's rant on and get this one over with shall we..?!
This episode is written by Mark Seidenberg. The story is done by Mark Seidenberg and Evelyn Gabai.
We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and head into the book room as Scrooge is at a desk working and Duckworth is annoying him to go get some rest. Scrooge is hitting the book and using the magnifying glass to translate an ancient map that will lead him straight to the treasure of ancient thinkers. So he wants to stop being enlightened? Good luck getting that past BS&P Scroogie; you're going to need it. Scrooge claims that he needs to be a genius to figure this out; and here comes the nephews calling themselves geniuses which we get another Hanna Barbara sound effect for no reason at all. Scrooge blows them off for playing games with him; so the nephews show them their report cards; which is straight A. I am so not buying this crap. Then Bubba arrives and he is wearing a green question mark dunce cap as his report card has straight Z's. Yeah; let's just flush this episode down the crapper right from the start. Even worse; Bubba cannot even get the word flunked right as apparently the writers think rhyming is so cool to violate ANIME DUB CONDUCT RULE #12. He of course worked hard to earn those awful grades which in any other universe would be a felonious insult. Scrooge asks if he learned anything; and Bubba “ponders” this one over and he learns “recess”. Which is one word I'm sure the teachers were relieved of hearing somewhat; even more so “detention” and “dismissed forever”. So Bubba tags Tootsie and we chase for a while to waste time. That ends up with Bubba headbutting Scrooge in the belly and Scrooge getting entombed by the books on the desk. Whatever guys. Scrooge blows him off as he wants something done about this while he studying the map. The nephews usher Bubba out realizing that they have their work cut off for them. No crap Sherlock Jones'!
So we scene change to Gyro's house as Bubba is on a stool (NOT THAT ONE!) as Gyro measures his head and deduces that Bubba's brain is too primitive and slow to keep up with the rest of the students. No crap Einstein! So Huey asks if there is anything that can be done about it; and Gyro goes to his closet and fishes out a metal lid to a pressure cooker and puts it on Bubba's noggin. It's a thinking cap according to Gyro and it will make him smarter. So he twists the knob on the thing and Bubba acts like a poor man Scooby Doo and runs up the walls and ceiling before dropping to the floor. The nephews run over to console him and Bubba's voice changes into regular Frank Welker Scooby Doo snob. Oh lord; here we go, the beginning of hell has arrived. No; I'm not ready to explain why this is so stupid yet. That's coming up soon. And he rubs his ass too as the nephews are amazed. Bubba invokes the Gruffi pose and asks like a jerk that if there was any doubt. Oh god; this is painful to watch. Gyro decides to test him with a complex formula and Bubba goes to the blackboard and answers it. I have zero clue what the formula is; other than Gyro not solving it in years. Then Bubba decides to mix two chemicals together which turn it purple and then explode in his face dropping him in front of the nephews as the explosion somehow changed the color from purple to green. Yes folks; this is THAT KIND of episode today. The nephews claim Bubba's brain is bust. No nephews; these writer's brains are bust and they are insulting me. Gyro adjusts the helmet and proclaims that things are not built in a day. I wish they Gyro never built that horrible thinking cap now.
So we cut to the nephews' room as the nephews are playing a board game. A board game that they cannot figure out. Yes; these are the nephews; being dumb! Bubba walks in being a smartass as he has become now as now he can self-adjust the cap on his own. Bubba talks like a jerk in front of the boys and by the way; these are the nephews who are starting to get sick of the angle already! GOD, I'm sick of this episode already and we are barely three and a half minutes into this thing. And just to make the nephews even dumber than dirt; it's a freakin puzzle; which anyone with half a brain could figure out. However; the nephews act dumb (I think) just to allow Bubba to solve the damn puzzle. Huey talks about straight pies being round; even through Bubba was talking about “pi”, the science one, not the cooking one. Bubba claims that anything can be done if you put your mind to it. Believe it or not; that is the most likable thing Smartass Bubba sezs in this entire episode bar none. Dewey wants to play baseball; but Bubba no sells because he wants to read. Yeah; because a geeky nerd cannot play sports at all because it's “beneath” him. I can understand the point if Bubba was a fatass like me and had no energy to do such a thing; but this just insults me to the Nth degree. Louie proclaims that they have just struck out. No, Louie; Bubba has struck out as he is MURDERING his own character as we speak.
So we head to Bubba's cave which seems to be getting more and more like a Flintstone episode by the day. Bubba of course has no books on him while the nephews carry more than their body weight in books, apiece. Wow; even Pop-A-Bear's more generous to Kit getting that spot more than this asshole. Apparently; he borrowed every book in the library except for the coloring books. That's right folks; painting is considered a “DUMB” hobby. God you writers have such contempt for the color stylists and the painters of Wang Films. I can understand getting mad at Pacific Rim Animation for coloring mistakes; but even Wang Films, with their logic breaks, animation mistakes and such, don't usually make coloring mistakes. Usually. The nephews drop the books as Bubba takes one and talks about Scrooge being pleased with him. Sure; why not? It's not like BS&P would love to turn him heel outright; and thus you are his vessel for such a turn. Then Tootsie blitzes and tackles him down; and licks him like Dino on Fred. And naturally; since Smartass Bubba is an asshole; he blows her off. Oh man; I'm starting to realize how awesome asshole Bumblelion (aka Bumble Scrooge) was now. And he does the Gruffi pose and blows off his own cave. He sits on his rock and then tries to read and then jumps off and blows off the rock of course. The nephews are shocked and appalled. Join the club, my dear sirs we are dealing with an ass here.
So we head to the mansion AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Scrooge is in his nightgown running in the hallways yelling that someone has stolen his books. He runs into a room and notices that Bubba was the one who stole his books and he's sitting in a chair wearing a purple nightgown and reading about the evolution of some bug I don't care about. There is a benefit to the “less talk, more rock” format; and this is a prime example of it. Scrooge is amazed by this as Bubba proclaims that he has ideas to boost his profits as shown on his notepad. Scrooge loves this and offers him to stay in the mansion as a reward. Okay; I got to admit, they booked this scene right since Scrooge loves Bubba as this because it benefits him. And Bubba seems to have no trouble with Scrooge anymore. It doesn't save the rest of this episode; but this scene doesn't insult me like the rest of it. Scrooge proclaims that they could learn something and the nephews blow it off because they miss the old Bubba. Smartass Bubba blows off the old Bubba for being dumb past the Stone Age. And now we sink back into the crapper again as Dewey blows him off for having rocks in his head. Dewey's calling him dumb? How does that work as an insult? Calling him a geek would have made it work as Bubba blows it off and continues his calculations with the notepad and an accountant calculator. He also promised to finish his homework for Mrs. Quackanbush; which the nephews point out that he flunked first grade. So that's the reason why they are in a one room school. So they can be in the same room together. It all makes sense now. Bubba isn't quitting yet because he has a plan to win a college education in one week as he adjusts the knob; which is symbolic in the least of what Bubba has become.
So we head to that one room school of doom as Bubba is showing off the second law of thermodynamics to the class as he's wearing an actual school uniform for no reason whatsoever other than to insult everyone in the room. Mrs. Quackenbush is PISSED as she puts the dunce cap on and gives Bubba the diploma, cap and then she packs her bags and tries to leave. Louie asks where she is going and Quackenbush proclaims she's going back to college and the class is dismissed. Wait; so she's a first grade teacher and she needs to return to college, for...WHAT THE HELL?! This makes no sense because if she's even a sixth grade teacher; then why should she need to go back to college? They don't teach that law until Junior High at the very least. This also insults me because it makes Quackenbush look like a complete idiot. And this is NOT the worst thing in this episode either. The students are stunned as we head outside and everyone leaves of course. The nephews walk behind Bubba and they want to go to the movies which Bubba blows off because it's “beneath” him see. I called it thirty seconds before it happened. Normally; this would be cute; but in this case, it...you guessed it. The movie has the word killer in it by the way. He is going to the university to listen to a lecture on waffle irons. Really writers; you cannot come up with anything complex just to kick us the viewers down any further than you already have? Bubba leaves to brainstorm more ideas for Scrooge as Louie calls him as much fun as Scrooge at a coin toss. Now THAT I would like to see; because damn it if it doesn't give me some entertainment value compared to this episode.
So we head back to the Money Bin office as the workers are loading up more money in his vault as Scrooge is loving all this cash Bubba has given to him. The nephews are surprised as Scrooge twirls around a green hula hoop because it is popular again according to predictions made by Bubba and he shows the profit charts going as sky high as Nintendo was from 2006-2010. Sadly; 2011 is the worst year ever in the company's history as they got their first loss in 30 years. Huey blows off Bubba as a know it all. Okay; at this point, the sarcasm would have been fine because Bubba is clearly an asshole now, but they were SICK of this right from the very start of this. So; all it does is make Bubba's jackass attitude justified since he's smart and they are not; and therefore they being sick of it is clearly out of jealousy. Plus; this makes everything that happens after this even worse in hindsight. Scrooge tells them that they are at his new location which is the Think Tank which we head to which is a glass building with security. What is that security you ask? A sign that glows in banana yellow letters beeping that reads “Quiet Please. Genius At Work”. I shake my head in disbelief and continue inside as Bubba is sitting on a pillar as he has a black suit on now talking to various experts and execs. We zoom in to a television as we get some crappy footage of products Bubba would like to sell; including the elevated bow tie for shorter necks. I would take this guy more seriously if it had a camera in the bow tie. Nothing is cooler than taking pictures with your bow tie. Ask Dale about it.
So we head in a room as a female announcer duck is wanting to know about Bubba the genius. A pig fury (who I swear would be lifted for TaleSpin) wants him to do his homework; a female duck wants him to solve a crossword puzzle that has seven words and means like a tuna fish. Sickass? I don't know what it means. I'm not sure the writers do either. The duck secretary wants everyone to go away (funny since half of the denizens are ladies.) because Bubba isn't seeing anyone. The nephews are pissed and they sick Tootsie on everyone to force them to bail. Tootsie knocks down the door inside. Then Scrooge magically appears OUT OF NOWHERE asking if they have an appointment. Wait a second? You didn't ask them that BEFORE you went to the next scene? Oh lord; why do you test me so? The nephews want Bubba to play with them and Scrooge proclaims that he doesn't have time for childish games. See; he's looking at the map and translating it for him. So wait; you are doing this NOW? Why didn't you ask him to do this from the very start?! Bubba figures it out and Scrooge ushers everyone out as he wants that treasure of the ancient thinkers now. So we finally go into the air in Scrooge's dollar sign airplane. Now at this point; it would be smart to have Launchpad involved because Luck'O'Ducks had it and it basically saved it from being a negative star episode. Sadly; there is NO Launchpad involved and it's Bubba piloting the plane. Wait; he has a PILOT'S license? Since when? I now officially hate Bubba The Cave Duck now. And just to make it more insulting to me; they reference that Bubba flies better than Launchpad. Oh; god help us all. The nephews blow him off as hot air. Is that really the best insult you guys could come up with?!
Now at this point; this was merely a crappy episode with an asshole character; now watch as the writers break logic, reason and sensitivity all in one fatal swoop. Yes folks; they make it over the island and we get rumbling as the ancient thinkers are trying to shoot down the plane with...lasers?! That's right folks; lasers! And we go to ground level as we see three dogspeople in ancient armor looking like blacks shooting lasers from spears. I crap you not guys! They are ancient thinkers and they act like barbarians; plus they look like African Americans. They shoot off the wings with ease (riiiigggghhhttttt) and the plane takes a nosedive to end the segment 11 minutes in. So we break logic, reason and be vaguely racist all in one fell swoop. We are projected to have our first negative episode in DTVA at this rate too. And I fear this episode is going to get even WORSE now....
After the commercial break; we see the plane taking a nosedive and the lasers keep shooting at it. We head into the cockpit as Bubba is piloting looking calm while the nephews and Scrooge are floating. Yes; Bubba is wearing his seat belt; while the rest don't just to make them look like dumb rednecks. Charming guys; real charming. And Wang Film's animating looks so bad that they don't even hit the back wall which makes more sense than floating around. The one thing keeping this episode afloat is now making mistakes. This is very, very bad now. Scrooge wants Bubba to do something and Bubba naturally is thinking and proclaims that this is beyond his control as Huey states this didn't stop Launchpad. So now Bubba is now book smart; but street dumb instead of being both street and book dumb. Anyhow; they crash into the side of the mountain and slam into the tree to stop. And now Launchpad is insulted because that crash is sooooo routine to him. We open the tailsection and everyone walks out as the nephews blow him off for being happy. Yeah; because smart people are such jackasses that they cannot be happy at anything. That is not only insulting; it's dangerous because it's the same demonization they use for atheists and secularists. And these guys know how to stop them too; it involves something like a gun, or a knife, or maybe dynamite. Real dynamite of course. Bubba talks about this being related to gravity. Wow; I now see Rolando in a new light now as the ancient thinkers arrive with their laser spears; and there are leaves tied to one of them now. And to make matters worse; they talk like a bunch of babbling idiot natives. I realize that this is supposed to be irony; but it's still RACIST irony. Yeah; this episode didn't get black balled; but Last Horizons did for 18 months. Yeah; I know Last Horizons was a lot more RACIST than this episode; but it was AWESOME RACISM at least. This episode insults everyone; not just a group of people.
So Scrooge wants a translation from Bubba and smartass Bubba has no clue what they are saying. Wait a second? So he is a piss poor translator now; after he figured out an ancient map with ease? Oh; this better lead to the helmet slowly dying on him because that would make sense; but at this point the writers are clearly writing for a pay check here. Through body motions though; it's easy to figure out that they have been captured and are being forced to walk towards the ancient thinkers city. Huey claims the old Bubba would have MURDERED these guys. This episode appears to be a BS&P rib now that I think about it. So everyone is motioned to the city as Bubba talks about the city (while Scrooge insults the smarts of the natives) and we see the chief of the city dressed in white and wearing a boot on his head. Not making this up. To make matters worse; he speaks almost perfect English and sounds like Dumptruck without the accent. Scrooge calls them science fiction rejects which does make me giggle which is the first funny moment in this episode almost 12 and a half minutes in! Bubba shoves him aside and apologizes for his bad manners (which only makes the nephews look angry instead of Scrooge). He proclaims that he is looking for the treasure of the ancient thinkers and the chief blows them off because he wants smart people and it cannot be opened otherwise. Bubba claims that his troubles are over and he'll find it for them. The chief blows them off as trespassers and orders them to be locked in the pyramid. Wait a second? It was YOU guys who shot them down with your logic breaking “spear lasers” that trespassed on your property. So that is YOUR fault; you didn't have to do that stupid, F'N thing.
So we head into the pyramid as the babyfaces plus one jackass tweener get forced into the pyramid and it is sealed behind them. Scrooge proclaims that they will never get out; but Bubba claims that this is exactly what he wanted to happen. The nephews blow it off because they think it's a prison. Bubba gleefully answers this for me as they walk to the vault door filled with gold and jewels on said door. The nephews call Scrooge out because the treasure belongs to the natives and Bubba calls the natives a bunch of jugheads. Yes; in the minds of the writers, smart people are racists. That is weapons grade projection folks and remember, millions of KIDS are watching this too. To make matters worse; Scrooge agrees with him and wants the seven course meal; because the gate is finger licking good. Oh god; I'm starting to write like this episode. That's horrifying square. Bubba explains that the jewels are part of the control panel and Scrooge of course pushes one of them and we have rumbling. Bubba proclaims that it's a self-destruct sequence and Bubba must think how to push the proper sequence to stop the thing or they are dead. And a smartass cannot say dead either. God I hate these writers today! The nephews keep blowing him off of course. He tries the sequence; but his finger slipped and he pushes the wrong ruby which the nephews blow him off as cracked. WHAT? He admitted that his finger slipped. His brain didn't crack; he made an honest mistake. He got the sequence right in his head. GOD!! Bubba tries a second time; does a flourish and the rumbling stops and the vault opens up.
Scrooge praises him big time and he hugs Bubba as Bubba asks what he should expect from a genius. The nephews blow him off some more just to piss me off. The writers point of all this is that Bubba is supposed to be an absolute jackass, but it doesn't work at all because he basically saved their asses in that last sequence. The whole point is to hold Bubba in contempt; but throughout this whole thing, there is no way you can walk out of this and not feel bad for Bubba and hate the nephews. I would rather hang out with Asshole Bubba than the nephews now because at least Bubba speaks the truth; while the nephews simply blow stuff out of their asses at convenient times. So we see them at the vault and then we hear noises as the science fiction rejects open the pyramid doors and run in. Ummm; yeah, I don't get it either Louie. That ends the segment 15 and a half minutes in. When you say that this segment was at least short; you have a major problem here. We are really falling from grace here...
After the commercial break; we head into the vault as we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE ASSHOLES EDITION~! This sequence is weird as I think there was supposed to be a scene before this and post-production edited it out for some reason. None that makes it any good. The nephews continue to mock Bubba some more as Bubba has the map as we head to the fork in the road (there is a neat symbol on the floor so at least the background artists haven't forsaken this episode) and Dewey does his blow off. So Bubba calculates while Scrooge takes the left fork which makes no sense since he's supposed to be a populist and thus take the center. The nephews flip a coin claiming that it's never wrong and it is a same sided coin anyway; so they take the right fork. Yeah; because those pointy headed smart creeps are so EVIL now! GOD! It's so fitting that they take the “Right” path in this one too. Bubba calculates some more and he takes the center path. Yeah; the writers are so freakin stupid; that if they wanted to go all the way with this “Leftish Evil” meme; Bubba should have taken the left path and Scrooge take the center. Oh; and this is all rendered pointless as the nephews and Scrooge chicken out and take the center path anyway. UGH! Scrooge I can understand since he at least rationalized to take that path; but doesn't this contradict the nephews hatred for asshole Bubba now? GOD! And to make matter worse; we have probably the most racist logic break I have ever seen all time; all my life: The nephews and Scrooge run into the cave as the science fiction reject clearly see which path they took when they enter. So what happens? They suddenly get stupid and have no clue where to go despite clearly SEEING where they are going. UGH! UGH! UGH! I cannot be watching a Ducktales episode. This has to be an episode that somehow warped from Fanboy & Chum Chum's universe. There is simply no other explanation.
So the chief orders them to split up and take each a path; and we discover that the left path contains a flamethrower and the right path contains a tidal wave and thus proved Bubba was right all along. Yes; another trap which Bubba saves their asses again. At this point; a heel turn on Scrooge and the nephews by asshole Bubba would make him the default babyface by proxy now. Leaving Scrooge as a tweener and the nephews as asshole heels. Lovely move to kill whatever point you were trying to make there writers. So we see the asshole heels, tweener and asshole babyface walk into the main room as there is a metal sphere glowing Wii blue as they walk in. Scrooge can smell the treasure; Dewey only smells trouble as the walls pop up surrounding them and they then for some reason push right towards them. I'm not going to point out the obvious logic break here because it is such a waste of my time...CLIMB OUT YOU F***S~! The female riddler voice proclaims that right answers to her riddles will set them free. Bubba likes this challenge now. Isn't it funny that Bubba's crappy attitude is now the least thing that insults me now? And Scrooge is the only one who has done the least in insulting me? I'm not going to even bother dealing with the riddles themselves because we all know Bubba will easily get them out of this one and makes the nephews look like complete assholes again. And no surprise; he gets them all right easily. Like I'm buying that he didn't know the answer to the third riddle which was a mushroom. We get a horn flourish and it's a Monopoly promo before the walls pop down setting them free.
Scrooge prefers to have his clothes pressed when he's not wearing them. He notices the pathway to the treasure; thanks to Bubba presenting the pathway and we all run into the hallway and here comes a giant monster known as a green cockatrice. FINALLY! Something that pleases me for a change. And it took almost eighteen minutes to do it too. We bail and Dewey blows off Bubba some more as Bubba proclaims that the monster cannot pass an “Eye Q” test. Get it? It's comedy. HAHAHA! God; that was horrifying! Even more horrifying; the closeup of Bubba shows the animation is very choppy and in somewhat choppy slow motion to boot before returning to normal when they zoom out to show the monster chasing them. They hide behind a crumbled stone pillar as Scrooge asks Bubba to MURDER the beast and Bubba forgot where to start. That's right folks; Bubba's memory of his past was erased by the device when he is smart. See; smart people are complete “pacifists”. The problem is the writers have zero clue about smart people and have no idea what pacifists means even though they are implying it. Lord take me now! So everyone bails again as the cockatrice chases Louie, and Tootsie through a large crack in the wall allowing Tootsie to struggle getting through. Sorry cockatrice; as much as you are the most over character in the entire episode; you cannot save this episode getting past DUD at this point.
To make matters worse; Wang Film's animation of the cockatrice clawing at the crack is so horrible that there is no visible contact being made or teased. So we cut to above the cockatrice as Scrooge and Bubba are above him. WHAT? HOW? Scrooge calls him a rabble rouser which brings the total number of useless insults to about a baker's dozen now. Memo to Scrooge: Pop the helmet from Bubba's head. NOW! END THIS PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU! END THIS NOW! Bubba walks off as Scrooge wants to know where he's going. Bubba does the Gruffi pose (I just realize that he's wearing the same outfit Rebecca wore in The Bigger They Are; the Louder They Oink which is far better than this episode and better animated by Wang Films too) because he has better things to do. See; this is the point where Bubba's asshole attitude is supposed to cross the line; but at this point, can you really blame Bubba now? The nephews have utter contempt for him being a smarty “pants” (since he's not wearing any) and never had any gratitude for saving their hides at least four times in this episode! Sometimes; Darwin must take it's course because the nephews are turning into Quack Pack now. The only thing missing from this is the “Fire Eisner” chant. I have no idea how we didn't get that chant. Yeah; this episode has completely broke me now. Scrooge finally blows him off as a cold duck with no heart; which Bubba counters that he did it for him. Now Scrooge saying this is totally understandable because Scrooge never hated Bubba when he was smart; he just felt Bubba went too far. And yes he did; but Bubba was less of a jerk than the nephews were. That's why this episode sucks dick big time. Now Scrooge wants his family back; and having that family means having the old Bubba back. Bubba agrees to it without any questions and turns the knob to the left thus killing his mind and he's dumb again and wants to MURDER ass. Well; at least we are going to have some entertainment in this episode.
Helmet explodes; Bubba is back complete with Hanna Barbara running sound and lopping effects just to complete the Sidism of this episode. Bubba grabs the broken pillar and it's time to Bubba Clubba. And he MURDERS the cockatrice of course for my amusement. Sometimes violence does solve problems. Problem being a really crappy, wretched episode with a decent moment. And instantly; the nephews forgive him as if nothing had happened. Yeah; let's forget how much of an asshole you nephews were to him. It's not like the writers care anymore. Sadly; Bubba is distracted and gets whacked in the back with the cockatrice's tail and hits the wall with no impact stars nor cuts whatsoever. When Toon Disney shows more than Sailor Moon movies do; then you know America is racist. The nephews think Bubba is out cold as the cockatrice goes to him; but Bubba floats back up and jumps over the cockatrice. He grabs the tail and does the Super Mario 64 Bowser Toss of Doom and throws it right on the science fiction rejects and the chief squashing them on their bellies. Yeah right?! They were just STANDING there all this time right?! The rejects manage to get it off which looks like horrible animation as Scrooge and Bubba shake hands and make up. Which makes no sense since Scrooge and Bubba were fine until Bubba decided to rightfully turn on the nephews.
Anyhow; we see the nephews at a statue behind a pillar of white flame as one of the nephews has the book of the ancient thinkers as we see three dogs in spacesuits running. Yeah; apparently; the ancient thinkers were so smart that they used picture books instead of complex words with no pictures in it. UGH! Apparently; they were so smart; they lost their ability to fight back against the monster. There is one major problem with this; if that happened, then everyone must have went extinct; and yet there is a clear indication that the civilization was still alive and had laser spears. UGH! UGH! UGH! This is horrible explaining here and it makes zero sense whatsoever. The moral is supposed to be that being smart means that you don't care about anyone. F*** you Ducktales; F*** you in your asses, please! This finish sucks so hard. That means Ed Brayton doesn't really care about gays, or liberty or anything. Or Orac cares about people being saved by science based medicine. This is so right wing thinking; I swear the writers of Left Behind wrote this crap. I cannot believe this episode made television; I really cannot believe it. Scrooge offers the natives the treasure to read over as the nephews get off another insult to how they weren't so smart after all. Scrooge and the babyfaces all leave as Scrooge states that he has his riches which is his family. Fair enough Scrooge; if only to make this episode end. So we head to the mansion and into the hallway as the nephews have their baseball gear and they are glad Bubba is back to normal. Yeah; because being smart is for pointy headed evildoers like Ed Brayton. Screw you guys! There is a trail of books and the nephews run into the book room thinking that Gyro has fixed the helmet and he's smart again. Bubba sounds normal and we discover that he is not reading books; he's coloring in them and the nephews approve. That's right folks; the nephews approve of vandalizing Scrooge's collection of books he gathered over the years. Let's make the ending suck too while we are at it. The nephews calls it their Bubba (UGH!) as we circle fade out to mercifully end the episode at 21:12. Thank god this episode is over. I knew this episode was horrible enough to be the worst Ducktales episode ever; but when it comes to being horrible, my imagination was limited. This is Agony Booth bad and this is our first negative star episode in DTVA. Good job Bubba; you have now become worse than Scrappy Doo. I hope you are proud of yourself after carrying Bubbeo and Juliet. Call it -** (-40%). And that is being generous. Probably the worst episode I have ever seen before 1992.
THE REVIEW LINE
Normally; I would write a summary of the episode in general; but this episode broke me so much I cannot think of one other than this is the worst episode in the “Golden Age” era of DTVA (1984-1992); unless dirtysomething from Darkwing Duck can be worse than this somehow. So I'm just going to copy GeoX's review of this episode because it mirrors my views on this thing and it sums it up perfectly. Maybe the one and only time where I agreed with him on the crapiness of a Ducktales episode 100%. To wit:
The idea is that Bubba's so dumb that he gets straight-Z's on his report card, so he uses a "thinking cap" that Gyro's invented to become an obnoxiously self-satisfied, slightly fey genius with a British-ish accent, alienating HDL. Then they all go to some sort of native-island-y place to find treasure, where Bubba learns the True Value of Stupidity. The end. Seriously, the anti-intellectualism just drips from this episode (the know-your-place message reminds me of the awful "Superdoo," but this one's actually much worse). Note that there's nothing inherent in being smart that means you're also going to be a selfish, cowardly, vaguely racist (the way he brushes aside the notion that the treasure belongs to the natives on the basis that they're too dumb to appreciate it) jerk, but the episode at no point indicates that these traits are at all separate from the increased intelligence. The whole thing resembles some sort of crazed, nationalist rant about intellectuals sapping our National Vigor. And they can't even get that rant right: we're supposed to hold Bubba in contempt for being too cowardly to beat a monster with a club, but wholly unremarked is the fact that, just minutes ago, they would all have been horribly crushed to death if smart-Bubba hadn't been able to correctly answer a series of riddles. In all, this episode is quite repulsive. Seriously, Ducktales: f*** you. - Source: GeoX's Duck Cartoon Revue.
This episode broke me so much; I feel like Dave Meltzer after he watched the Christmas 2007 episode of TNA Impact (The one that featured the barb wire Christmas tree and someone on Youtube actually loaded the entire Bryan & Vinny review of that episode which features them acting which is infinite times better than Impact and this episode combined.) when he completely lost his mind. This episode is the same effect as me throwing out the windows and yelling “I'M MAD AS HELL AND I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!”. I don't know what else to say. Next up for Ducktales is much better episodes: The Big Flub and A Case Of Mistaken Secret Identity. But that is next weekend; on Tuesday I have to deal with Kick Buttowski with Gym Dandy and Detained which are not going to be much better really. God; I hope I can finish those ones and stop the pain. So.....
Thumbs way the hell down in hell for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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