Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The web master has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the web master and no one else. The web master has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at mailto:gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
Beaglemania
Reviewed: 02/12/2012
...Is Running So Wild; It Needs A Bullet!
Remember the Time Teasers episode where the Beagle Boys sang a trio song and impressed the natives? Well; it's time to bring that device out of the closet and try something out of the Beetles. I'm beginning to wonder if this is going to turn into a cartoon version of High School Musical?! Still; how does this episode do?! So let's rant on shall we..?!
This episode is written by Mark Seidenberg.
We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and down in the basement as Scrooge is giving the dollar bills a bubble bath and drying them on clotheslines. Duckworth just stands there; probably wondering about Scrooge's sanity at this point. Scrooge puts the dollar bill through the ringer and Duckworth pins the bills on the clothesline. Apparently; in Duckberg, Scrooge can launder money and get away with it. Megaupload was clearly in the wrong world here. And then we hear rumbling and crashing as Scrooge is annoyed. Duckworth goes up the stairs as we cut to a television set showing a freaky hair band dogsperson telling everyone to rock and roll. And we see the nephews (san hats) dancing with Webby, Bubba and Tootsie. So this is yet another episode with Bubba not speaking. Do I sense that Dewey and Webby dating at some point? Hip Hop references ensue as Bubba rocks and Tootsie rolls. This is really just a sequence on stage as the Hair Band Rocker of Doom explains that we are two days away from a contest giveaway of money and probably a recording contract. The nephews cheer; so Duckworth puts a stop to that by turning off the television. The nephews are not amused as we cut back to the basement as Scrooge tells the kids that he has cleaning to do and doesn't want any music from Wayne Ferris. Okay; that is just cold Scroogie. Huey is pleading because rock and roll is awesome. And he has a black portable radio just to rock to. Memo to kids: Just leave the mansion and enjoy some rocking with Launchpad. I'm sure he would approve. Scrooge blows rock and roll off because their music sucks. Duckworth even references Frank Sinatra and some other guy which earns a blow off from the nephews as they call Scrooge a fuddy duddy. Well screw you nephews! Frank Sinatra is awesome! Rock and roll is great; but that doesn't mean Frank Sinatra automatically sucks because he doesn't do rock and roll. Scrooge blows it off because he has work to do and the kids walk upstairs calling Scrooge more ancient than Bubba. Bubba is as confused as I am. This all sounds familiar to me...Oh yeah; the fangirls who defend the Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana today. We go full circle...
...and then segue to the Beagle Boys hideout AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as the Beagle Boys are watching Duckberg's Most Wanted: The Mugs & Thugs section. We get mugs of Brainstorm Beagle , Bombshell Beagle (looks like a solider of fortune) and Bankroll Beagle. We have Big Time, Burger, Bouncer and Baggy along with Ma Beagle as they are loving the family albums. Oh; and they are still in the Top Ten list of most wanted criminals too. The heels like that as we hear the announcer proclaim that it's time for a word with our sponsor. Which is the promo from the Hair Band Punk Rocker who has the money in a glass electric guitar. So Ma has a Krackpotkin plan in mind which is to steal the money away. Big Time mistakes this as being songbirds; because they are really jailbirds. Ma blows him off and sheds tears because if this get pulled off; Ma will be criminal mother of the year. So we head back to the nephews' room as the nephews (san hats) are piling up pillows. Why; I have no idea. The kids all sit down in front of the television and the animators have a “Back To The Future Kaboom!” moment as they are under shadows while watching the Hair Band Punk Rocker do his spiel. So we cut to backstage as a black shirt dogsperson is tuning up his Gedo fashion sense electric guitar. We pan over to see the usual hair bands including a dogperson version of Michael Jackson flipping it's lips. The cow like furry with the Gedo sweater and weird hairstyle decides to take notes and here come the heels who don't even bother with the pre-tense of disguises. They just bowl in and shove everyone easily. They get to the glass electric guitar as Burger wants to tiptoe on the 20's. Sadly; these guys are idiots because they are on stage behind the curtain as the Hair Band Punk Rocker Guy is still cutting promos on stage with the camera and lights on (and more light/shadow characters which seems to be a Wang trait. Wonder if Kaboom was watching these episodes for pointers?) and he wants to get rockin which involves raising the curtain and the Beagle Boys now wish they went with the disguises. Big Time is the first to notice of course and the heels turn around. The HBPRG doesn't seem to notice as the heels call themselves the Beagles. You know this guy is dumb as a box of hammers when he falls for the obvious name. Anyhow; the HBPRG asks about what song they are going to sing and Burger claims that they only know how to sing-sing. Does that involve soap on a rope? AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...
Ma Beagle is behind the curtain as she writes on a notepad and gives the note to Baggy and Baggy just fumbles over the words before Big Time reads to to stop embarrassing himself. The song they are going to sing is the Boogie Beagle Blues. Apparently; tongue twisters are bad for Baggy. So Big Time goes to the microphone and we begin to sing. I am not going to call this; since it's just a bad American Idol song. They blow up the drum set with dynamite as the crowd pops for this. And people hate it when the Jonas Brothers do this (minus blowing up the drum set)? Ma claps with approval as we have Bouncer with two pistols in his hands (!!!). Yes; he shoots the pistols by the way and Burger eats a guitar for good measure. They are not even trying to hide the fact that they are the Beagle Boys and no one in the crowd cares. Well; that's Hollywood for ya. How many actors and actresses have been arrested and charged with crimes again? The song finally ends and HBPRG runs in and calls it as the Beagle Boys have won the challenge and the money in the glass electric guitar. That's right folks; the Beagle Boys won a legit contest square and legal; and they got the money by not stealing it. Burger gleefully sums this robbery up doesn't he. So we head to KDUK radio studio (with big ass D on top of the building) and then pan down to floor level and then go inside the studio as a pig Elvis who sings so badly that he has to mangle the words to avoid infringement. Thankfully; the heels storm in and hip shove Pig Elvis backwards (and it's a padded room too) and he slams into the conveniently placed cake as it slams into his face. A bird furry (with a brown vest, yellow shirt and tie) walks in demanding answers to this outrage. Ma demands a contract; or the heels will sic the FLAMETHROWERS OF DEATH on the studio. Okay; that was pretty direct. The bird furry sells and gives them the contract. Burger gets all giddy and wants to sign on the dotted line right now as he has the contract. Big Time grabs the contract; and signs it himself.
So we head back to the nephews' room with the kids (minus Bubba) as Scrooge is dismayed by an issue of Rolling Duck that the Beagle Boys are into music and have taken over KDUK studios. The nephews ask why this is so bad. After all; they are actually earning money (sort of) this time and not screwing around with Scrooge. Scrooge then admits that he owns the radio studio KDUK. Which begs the question; would using flamethrowers be equal to signing a contract under false pretenses? So we head to the studio known as KDUK as a dogperson disc jockey has a record and puts it in the turntable proclaiming that this is the Beagles who are number one with a bullet. And the Beagle Boys aren't kidding around either as they literally have guns pointed at the disc jockey's head. This leads to a segue to Scrooge's office as he tears his hair out and hates the Beagles. At least this time; it's for a different reason other than the usual fuddy duddy response. We then see Mrs. Featherby taking notes and telling Scrooge to suggest killing the contract, but Scrooge blows it off because they are making him millions as we see various workers (I think this is the same sequence they used in various Wang Films animated episodes) putting money bags in from wheel barrows. Mrs. Featherby goes to the door and she gets MURDERED by the Beagle Boys and Ma who are running away from their fans. Ma uses the pistol and fires a shot to threaten the fans to back off. Ma shakes Scrooge's hand (that had to feel dirty) and admires the sack of goodies in the vault. Ma gives Scrooge a list of demands which Scrooge blows off because it will cost a fortune. Ma blows it off because it's in their contract and if Scrooge violates the deal, they split. There's one problem to this: Scrooge can simply end the deal now and the episodes ends in less than a minute. Sadly; Scrooge is stupid as she and the heels get into the conveniently placed out of nowhere helicopter as they go through the window (allowing Ma to cut a promo before leaving) and the helicopter leaves as Scrooge claims that he'll be ruined. He's right; just not in the way we think he will be. So the fanboys and fangirls break down the door and use it as a bridge to squash Mrs. Featherby (Again; what is this no male on female contact rule again?) and head to the window. The kids (with hats and Bubba) walk in and Scrooge is shaking and stuttering like an idiot to end the segment eight and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to the Money Bin Desolate version as we go to the vault and the Beagle Boys dive into the money and the law of heavy metals has forsaken us. Bouncer thinks that they do not have to work ever again. However; Ma Beagle pulls him up and blows them off because they are porn stars. I think she really said pop stars; but I edited it myself into porn. They must work out literally as we segue to Ma being a fitness trainer in the training room as the Beagle Boys pump up. So Ma blows the whistle and wants them to take five as Burger goes to the conveniently placed fridge and brings out a chocolate strawberry bubble gum cake. Ooooooo; I guess it's called a Death By Bubble Chocolate. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ma grabs it of course because Burger needs to cut down on sweets so fans don't call him the Flab 4. The other heels sleep the break away as Ma wakes them up. Big Time blows off this as torture and Ma counters by grabbing Big Time's red shirt. See; they are going to look the part from the inside out as Big Time gets dropped. So we head to the record shop as the Beagle Boys are now dressed like punk rockers which makes no sense, but whatever. Burger is dressed like one of the Greasers in Darkwing Duck I should note. Bouncer is not amused but Ma doesn't care and the fans all rush in as the heels are forced to sign autographs. So we head into a golden hallway as Scrooge shows off the picture of gold records as they have gone gold seven times. If I did the math; they sold 3.5 million units. Pfft. 29 Wii titles have already done that; along with 25 DS titles. Not impressed at all guys. Big Time thinks that Scrooge will approve of this; but Scrooge blows them off as degenerates who should be in jail, but tells them to keep up the good work. The heels sell it as praise. Ma wants them to leave to continue their work; but the heels want to ask for suggestions from Scrooge first which is not a good idea as Ma blows them off and cuts a “This little Piggy” promo; only using Oz jokes. Ma shows her fist and Big Time sells as the heels bail stage right.
So we head to a mansion on a hill called Disgraceland. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. I'm sure Merlin Jones had the same idea for DTVA in general. We head inside the living room as the heels flop on the chairs and Big Time whines about wanting some sleep. However; Ma yells at them to wake up because they have more work to do which involves a studio session at 5 pm; then going to the Duckberg Mall for a public appearance at 6 pm; then play at the home for the terminally unfashionable. Well; they can always phone in that last one. Bouncer complains and Ma tells him to shut up as she pencils in more deeds as Big Time walks forward and has something on his mind. Ma asks what it is and Big Time fires Ma Beagle. Oooooooooo. The heels throw Ma out of the house and she proclaims that she'll do some business and does the Gruffi pose. No one messes with Mother Beagle and thus we fade to black to allow Michael Eisner to be turned on. It's hazard pay to suffer for your art as Ma Beagle would say in these situations... So we return with a shot of the Duckberg bridge and then to a building where a convention is taking place and to my surprise it's the Mother Of Criminals organization Ma was talking about earlier in the episode. Everyone in this convention is wearing black masks as Ma Beagle is attending and the group doesn't like that four of her sons have gone legit. She cries; everyone blows her off, and Ma proclaims that she will get them on the wrong side of the tracks again by hook or by crook. Judging by the animation; Wang Films did a piss poor job here since Ma is still beating on her chest when she was supposed to stop. So we head back to Disgraceland as the moving trucks have come in at the gates to bring in clothes, and even a bunch of groupies trying to sneak their way into the mansion.
We then pan over to the bushes as Ma pops up and she has a Krackpotkin Plan in store for her brats. She wants to put the heels on the road to ruin as she pops down and a rainbow haired duck from Rolling Duck has arrived on a motorcycle as she pushes the button to the intercom and addresses herself as Nina Quackwell. Could be dumber I guess. Ma sees this as money and runs in and sucks up to her more or less. Ma is her biggest fan, blah, blah, blah. Ma grabs Nina, throws her into the bushes and beats her up behind them. Well; that's all right since it doesn't violate the male on female contact rule. Anyhow; Ma dresses up as Nina and walks inside and Ma has no clue how to play the part and her body shape fools absolutely no one. Even the Beagle Boys in the living room aren't automatically buying it. Ma Nina claims that flattery will get you 10-20 years in prison. Well; that is good to know. Burger is the Greaser of the outfit and his sign is goofy eyeball idiots; or something along those lines. The audio is not matching with the video here; so I am going with facial expression to aid me. Ma Nina calls him slum brain because the interview isn't until midnight since the photo session comes first and to meet her at fourth street in Duckberg at midnight. Here's a word of advice: When someone asks to meet you in a dark street at midnight; that's a codeword that you are going to get violently mugged and you should call for police protection. So we head to the dark fourth street in Duckberg AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as the punk rock Beagles (I know the Beagle are supposed to be a play on the Beetles; but Mark has zero clue about the Beetles since they wore formal gear and casual gear that looks nothing like a hair band.) walk around and head into the bank wondering when the interview is going to start; and then the lights turn on and the police officers have brought their missile launchers as the Beagle Boys are under arrest. Burger insists that they were only here to do an interview; but the police are not buying it because they are the Beagle Boys. It's just like the police to arrest them on outstanding warrants. The heels are sent to the police wagon outside as we pan over to Ma Beagle pops up from the mailbox proclaiming victory and thinks that the kids will turn on the Beagles now that they are in jail. Ma has zero clue how rock and roll; nor the music industry psychology works...
...because we scene change to the morning at the prison as the mob is outside cheering for the Beagle Boys. One in the crowd claims that they were framed. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Ma does not like this at all. It's funny how she can be in plain sight and no one notices that Ma Beagle is still at large. That's Air Head Syndrome for ye. The prison doors open and out comes the Beagles with Scrooge as the heels agree to pay the $5000 in bail money which is subtracted from the list of demands which include caviar and strawberry bubblegum ice cream. Burger is really pushing Scrooge's buttons here as Scrooge is flustered. The Beagles climb into the pink car and drive off. Scrooge proclaims that his bank account cannot take anymore punishment and then notices Ma Beagle in plain sight and blames her for the mess. Well; Scrooge does have a point there since she was the one who wrote the song. Ma Beagle wants to work together to screw the Beagles over; but Scrooge is against it because he apparently equates Ma Beagle to a terrorist and he doesn't deal with them (Okay; I realize that policy is BS in real life; but whatever). Ma Beagle counters that they cannot be popular forever and Ma Beagle's plan is to have them booked (with Scrooge's approval) on the Screamin Sky McFly show as Ma will replay Nina Quackwell again and then rock them to destruction in layman terms.
So we head backstage on the Screamin Sky McFly show and we discover that the HBPRG is Screamin Sky McFly. Which puts him in the same league as Suckyputt...ERRR...I mean Lilliput. The heels claim that Nina hasn't arrived with the new song yet; and Sky lives up to his nickname by screaming that Elvis McPigsy will take over their market if they don't before storming off stage left. Bouncer checks his watch and proclaims that they have thirty seconds left to come up with a new song. So Burger has one called “I Love Burgers and Fries”. HAHA! He also has a ripped white shirt as Big Time steals the paper and stuffs it into his mouth. HAHA! No one ever accused Burger of not being entertaining; that is for sure. Okay; maybe GeoX, but he has read duck comics so who cares what he thinks?! Big Time admits that Ma wrote the first song and they gave her the pink slip. Burger proclaims that this is more than they gave her on mother's day. No wonder Ma is so pissed most of the time. Anyhow; Ma arrives with a sheet of music for them to sing; but flings it away and asks what is in it for her. The Beagles blubber over this development as we cut back to the front of the stage as Screaming Sky bounces in and cuts his usual dumbass promo as he introduces the Beagles. The Beagles then plead for mercy and Ma takes it as agreeing to her terms which include my personal favorite; visiting mother whenever they are on parole. That's a keeper right there. So they take the song and bail as Ma looks evil anyway. So we REPEAT THE SEQUENCE from earlier in the episode (with the same “light/shadow” Kaboom-equse BS) and it's basically the same song; but sung off-key and basically sang as an insulting middle finger to the audience. Problem with this is that they are heels; but they were cool heels throughout most of it until now which renders them uncool heals. See NWO. See NWO Souled Out PPV. Long story short; the crowd is shocked and appalled as the crowd is pissed off; they throw international objects at the heels. Sky pushes them backstage and calls them rude dudes. Big Time blows off Ma Beagle for slipping a bum song and Ma grabs him by the ear and blows him off. Ma then goes to the car and everyone gets in as the heels agree to do whatever Ma tells them to do.
Ma is so happy to get his boys back as she drives off and the fans yell at them on the way out. Ho hum. So we head to Scrooge's office as he reads Rolling Duck as the BB has been bombed literally. Heh. Duckworth calls this terrible since Scrooge lost the money off the deal. Scrooge doesn't seem to care because he's signed up another act which is the one he wanted originally; Elvis Pigsly. Ummm; yeah whatever turns you on Scroogie. Elvis eats like a pig, Duckworth puts on the earmuffs and we circle fade out to end the episode at 20:58 aired. Just your average Ducktales love in and nothing more. *** (60%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; I have nothing else to say about this episode other than it had solid writing, Ma Beagle was cute as Nina Quackwell and it was basically the trapping of a rock band documentary without the drugs. Unless you count Burger's binging on food. I have nothing bad to say about this episode other than seeing too many repeated sequences from Wang Films and that shadow character trait they need several times throughout the episode. Yeah; I know this review line is so short; but really there wasn't anything of note that was truly bad; nor nothing that was truly awesome. So it's a middling episode in every sense of the word. The only other thing of note is this could have worked out a lot better had they used Bebop/Bugle Beagle as part of the trio; or the same cretins from Time Teasers. Then again; the writers seem to be writing for a pay check at this point in time. Next week is going to be brutal as Ma Beagle will try again to screw Scrooge by marrying him and taking his fortune in The Bride Wore Stripes and then there is Yuppy Dogs. Chris Barat called this episode worse than Bubba's Big Brainstorm; so I shudder to think how bad this episode could ultimately be. A second negative star episode in Ducktales? Stay tuned...So.....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.