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Attack Of The Metal Mites
Now That Explains Dijon Well Doesn't It?!
So we finally start the first planned Disney Afternoon era episode of Ducktales with a bunch of termites, Gizmo Duck and the debut of Dijon our Middle Eastern stereotype from The Ducktales Movie. YAY! This should be fun at least. So let's rant on shall we..?!
This episode is written by Jeffrey Scott. I think this is the first DTVA script that he wrote as he would also write My Fair Baloo and Paradise Lost later for TaleSpin in 1991. I should also point out now that there is no change in the opening as it is the same one that have been using since Super Ducktales. That's why you haven't seen a new opening moment segment on these rants.
We begin this one with a shot of Duckberg near a tree and then we pan over to a lab and head inside as Flintheart Glomgold is using the magnifying lens on a purple bug and blowing off his scientists for spending so many years creating it. He gets into the red haired scientist's face with the jar of bugs as we hear glass shattering in the background and the red hair guy claims that these are not your normal purple bugs. They are metal mites you see as Flint grabs the jar and throws it against the wall shattering the jar. The scientists inform him that they eat metal; not are metal as we get the bug crawling around and eating metal objects and destroying stuff including forcing an electrical machine to break and spark in green slime. Flint then gets giddy and grabs a bunch of bugs and proclaims that this will destroy Scrooge's fortune. Now where have I seen this plot before? Oh yeah; King Igthorn. Anyhow; the bugs Flint is holding is actually a segue way to Scrooge's Money Bin as he is holding a handful of gold coins. He treats them like human beings of course since he loves that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. He tosses the money and some of it lands in front of Fenton who is annoyed and using the accounting machine to count the money. Scrooge apologizes because he's allergic to money since he rubs money and he breaks out in a rash of cash. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Fenton checks his records as we get some rapid counting and it comes out to over $154 million. Huh? Has Scrooge been losing money? Scrooge checks his account books and Fenton was one penny short in his counting and thus Fenton is forced to start counting again. That spot would be lifted for Flight School with Colonel Spigot doing it to Kit Cloudkicker I should note. So Fenton swims in the money (and apparently the law of heavy metals doesn't apply to Fenton anymore) and he pops up in front of Scrooge who has a pink feather to write with now. Fenton spits out the remaining penny and Scrooge gives him the okay sign that he got it all counted right. Fenton claims that Scrooge wasted a dollar to find one measly penny and Scrooge claims that it's a small price to pay as along as the money is all here. Then he dives onto the money stage left and we don't see him dive in. Fenton is as confused as I am over that spot.
So we head to Flint's mansion and into Flint's office as Flint is talking to Dijon. That's right; they introduced this guy without any build up at all. Although to be fair; this is not his first appearance as that was the Ducktales Movie a few months earlier. However; the problem is that most fans of the series probably never got to watch the movie and thus didn't see Dijon's first appearance or origin story. At least TaleSpin fans got to see the Kit origin story on free television a few months later after this. Dijon naturally has a speaking problem as Flint blows him off because it's Glomgold. Dijon does his usual "talk over head and be annoying" promo and then gets whacked in the head with the blue book. Dijon takes book and puts it in his coat to steal it. Flint gives him the jar and Dijon is stupid enough to open it and allow the mites to crawl all over his body; eat the metal belt buckle and make Dijon drops his pants showing his underwear. Basically; the guise of this is that Dijon sneaks into the Money Bin, unleashes the metal mites and Scroogie is no longer Richie. This sounds simple enough for Flint to laugh about. So we scene change to a far away shot of the Money Bin and then we pan over east to an alleyway where Dijon is practicing the fine art of not being seen. Now I find this stupid since he's still at least two miles away from the Money Bin; then again he's the stupid Middle Eastern Stereotype and thus Disney likes to offend. So Dijon bails towards the F BANK OF DOOM as an F Bank Truck arrives and stops on the left side of the building. Then out comes a security guard with a sack of money and we have a meeting of the minds. And it was not at the racial sensitivity course.
The security guard blows him off as Dijon helps him up and teases stealing the money; but the security guard is way too close to him; so Dijon puts the money in the guard's pocket. The guard walks off in a huff as Dijon waits for him to be out of sight. Dijon goes towards the truck and calls himself a clever little devil and releases the metal mites from the jar right there. All of them I might add. Yeah; Dijon is such an idiot. I should point out that Wang Film's animating of the mites eating the truck is so bad that the truck poofs out like magic as a result instead of crumbling. Really bad form there guys. They do show the twisted hunk of metal though so it's not a big loss. Dijon tries to steal the sacks of money; but here come two guard with their pistols set to racist profits. The mites crawl up the officers and before they can even shoot, the mite eat the guns and then crawl down. Obvious logic break: The mites do not eat the belt buckles of the officers. I realize that it would hammer the underwear spot to the ground; but it makes more logical sense to do that spot in this context. Dijon cheers for victory; but the mites don't care about Dijon and they eat the manhole cover which Dijon is stupid enough to be standing on and Dijon free falls into the sewers and loses the sacks of money. The mites apparently cannot eat sacks and they crawl away and are basically out of control now. Dijon seemly teleports over to the sewer vent (which the bugs completely ignore despite the bars being made of metal for another logic break) and Dijon proclaims that Flint will be pissed off now. NO?! REALLY?!
So Dijon does the dumbest thing imaginable: Instead of using the jar and actually running after the bugs and catching them; we scene change to see him at a payphone talking to Flint and calling him Bloomgold. Seriously. What an idiot this Dijon fellow is?! No wonder people think Disney is so racist. Anyhow; Flint is not amused and yelling at Dijon for being stupid as all the bugs have escaped and they eat the phone booth Dijon is in. Flint proclaims that Dijon is ruining everything. Now there is a real comment if I ever saw one; which is bad news for Ducktales' future in general. So the bugs crawl to the bean factory as Flint is mad and then catches himself because that factory is owned by Scrooge. He then orders Dijon to follow the bugs and keep them in control of screwing Scrooge out of his investment. Dijon runs away remembering to annoy Flint by calling him Goldfish on the way out. I'm SHOCKED Scrooge didn't think of that insult first quite frankly; that would be a step above the usual playground insults those two fling every time they starting fighting. So the bugs go into the bean factory as the workers are scooping beans from a conveyer belt into cans. Then the bugs come in and eat the cans and one of the workers think that the cans are defective. No sir; those bugs are defective. I'm just saying. The dogperson with the hard hat panics thinking that the beans are alive and eating the machinery right on cue. Everyone flees from the factory in a panic as the bugs eat the factory.
Sadly; since Wang Films cannot animate a collapsing factory properly we quickly scene change to the sidewalk in front of Scrooge's mansion at the gate. We see Webby and the nephews (Louie) with a lemonade like stand as we discover that they are giving away free soda crackers and some of the denizens start taking them. Then we pan over to a real lemonade stand as Huey and Dewey are selling lemonade for a dollar (still better than the $2.25 lemonade in a bottle that the businesses sell; so I cannot complain) as everyone mobs the two nephews and Dewey has to tell them to relax. Huey then sees Scrooge in the window and asks how they are doing and Scrooge calls it better than expected. Then Fenton arrives with Scrooge at the window as Scrooge has the Gruffi pose and wants to do a cracker/lemonade franchise. You would think that after what happened in Duck To The Future and Yuppy Ducks that Scrooge would take the hint and NOT be trying to leech ideas off of his nephews. They are hardly shrew Scroogie. Fenton informs him that the bean factory called and they told him that his bean factory is going to pieces. Scrooge panics and they run off to the bean factory which is logically the next scene as Scrooge parks the limo and both Fenton and Scrooge run into the factory as it is ransacked by the saw blade sound effect. Scrooge swears in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE (Blow me bagpipes) as the beans are alive. Fenton grabs a conveniently placed mite and corrects Scrooge right away.
Scrooge and Fenton dodge metal objects dropping on them as some birds enter the factory with a old style video camera. That's what those cameras looked like in ancient Egypt. Then we see a yellow duck like mallard in a blue suit, red tie and very gray hair. The guy on the microphone is Walter Cronduck from Allowance Day I should note (probably voiced by Frank Welker). Flint is watching from a monitor in his office and laughs it up as the best news he has seen all week. Then we see the fire department truck arriving as we somehow see the same dogperson who was scooping beans into a can earlier on the metal catwalk as the mites are eating the catwalk. How stupid is this guy I have no idea. Scrooge then whisper yells to Fenton to call the fire department. Fenton points out that they are already here. D'OH Scroogie! Just whisper into his ear Scrooge; it's not like we don't know that Fenton is supposed to bail and become Gizmo Duck. I realize that this is a motif for Fenton to be clueless on the context of Scrooge and Scrooge blowing him off; but we just heard him say change to Gizmo Duck. And by we; I mean Walter Cronduck. And of course we break logic as Walter ignores it and Fenton proclaims that he has to call his mother and bails. So we cut to storage as Dijon arrives with the glass jar and talks sweet nothings to the bugs. Sadly; the steel storage area gets beaten and Dijon gets entombed by boxes of beans. Dijon proclaims that he got beaned by the beans. HAHA! I love real comments that aren't supposed be real comments. And that was a MAN-SIZED bump Dijon took too.
So we cut back to the catwalk as the dogperson bean scooper yells for help. Yeah; now you call for help after doing the dumbest thing by staying INSIDE the factory. Idiots! Of course the real reason for this idiocy is to allow Fenton to bail behind the boiler and cuts his OH MY GOD promo which somehow is heard from the Gizmo Duck suit despite being about three miles away and the suit comes in and attaches to Fenton and Gizmo Duck appears by smashing himself into dozens of bags of beans as they go flying. HAHA! It doesn't make sense; but it sure hell funny so I'll let it slide. Gizmo pops from the beans and spits them out claiming that he hates them. Which is comedy since he use to COUNT them before he got the job of being Scrooge's accountant and personal bodyguard. Gizmo Duck saves everyone as it's clear that everyone in his bean factory is stupid and hanging from various metal objects. It's time for Scrooge to invest in a FIRE ESCAPE PLAN~! Gizmo Duck also grabs Dijon and Dijon thanks him for that. So Gizmo wheels outside and throws everyone out and then comes back in. The workers bail while Dijon is lying on his face. HEE HEE!
So we cut back to the catwalk as the dogperson is still yelling for someone to save him and Gizmo Duck wheels up the wall and gets in front of him and invokes the LEGAL HAND OF GOD to allow him to cut a full of himself promo. HAHA! The dogperson tells him to shut up. BOO! HISS! He has just turned heel in my eyes. Gizmo Duck cuts another full of himself promo as he invokes the Go Go Gadget Water Pistol; but it turns out to be his letter paint sprayer as it sprays Chinese letters?! Okay; that is different and it does make Gizmo Duck REALLY STUPID. The mites no sell and eat the footing underneath the idiots and they free fall. So Gizmo Duck invokes the Go-Go Gadget copter and saves the dogperson as the dogperson acts in a sarcastic manner. So we see Gizmo wheel the worker out of the factory and in front of the press and he wants the dogperson to thank him like the full of himself mallard that he is. The bean factory finally crumbles and the animation is much better this time as Walter proclaims that the bean factory has bit the dust. Flint laughs and tosses papers for his amusement after hearing that one. Then we see the bugs crawling out of the bean factory rubble. So we see Dijon with a sack of nuts, screws and bolt and he does the path of destruction spot as the bugs follow him towards the Money Bin. Scrooge and Gizmo Duck notice him right away and Scrooge panics right on cue. Sadly; Dijon didn't quite think his plan all the way through and ran out of metal objects in his sack. I shake my head in amazement here. Oh wait; it's him wearing the sack on his head.
The mites bail stage right while Dijon bails stage left and returns with more metal objects and tosses them into the path of mite for them to eat. Scrooge then kicks Gizmo's ass and orders him to stop those damn bugs. Gizmo's tire almost goes flat on that response and Gizmo Duck salutes him. Gizmo Duck wheels in and gets in front of the bugs and orders them to stop. Oh yeah; you're basically dealing with a termite that eats the opposite material to the ones who ate Gummi Glenn out of their homes in King Igthorn. This will not work. Dijon then asks Gizmo what is the opposite of stop and Gizmo claims that it's go. Dijon then gets him the ANVIL OF NEIDHARTS and bails stage left. That might be the smartest thing that Middle Eastern Stereotype has done: Make Gizmo Duck look REALLY STUPID. Gizmo throws the anvil away and the mites eat them. Gizmo Duck then proclaims that they are under arrest for eating the bean factory without a permit to come to dinner. And you thought Thembrian laws were whacked out? Gizmo brings out his Go-Go-Gadget Lens and we see in his hands about a hundred tiny handcuffs. Memo to Gizmo Duck: Use those plastic ties next time you full of yourself, really stupid mallard. Seriously; this is so predictable that Gizmo Duck should have the words "REALLY STUPID" stamped on his forehead. And then the mites eat Gizmo Duck's left arm showing Fenton's left arm. Wait; I thought Gizmo Duck was made of a special plastic because the thing looks so plastic to me. So Gizmo then goes for the Go-Go-Gadget Vacuum Cleaner Nozzle. Now this episode REALLY SUCKS! HAHA!
Ron Sparks: It's sucks more than Shaun Desmond.
So Gizmo tries that vacuum cleaner; but the nozzle is made of metal so you can guess what happens next as the mites eat right through the entire suit. Memo to Gizmo Duck: Bail out NOW! It's clear that the writers have made your suit full metal now and you are getting exposed. Gizmo calls this a big mistake. NO?! REALLY?! Like the itching you are doing wasn't an indications of your stupidity. The bugs bust through the suit and that ends the segment nearly 12 minutes in. Now we are cooking as Gizmo Duck is REALLY STUPID; but man the writers cannot seem to decide if the suit is metal or plastic. Oh well; this is Jeffrey Scott's DTVA debut so it is kind of expected that he would be green in places. Although knowing his rep on TaleSpin; he can write good scripts when he gives a damn.
After the commercial break; we continue with Gizmo Duck scratching himself as the bugs buzz saw through his suit and Gizmo Duck is exposed as GD is now Uni-Duckcycle. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Apparently; those bugs tickle which I find silly. Fenton drops on his face and apparently; he covers himself in shame. Okay; here comes the dumbest logic break in history: The camera crew runs in towards Fenton; Fenton covers his face in shame and then we cut over to Walter who proclaims that the bean factory has been destroyed and is heading for Scrooge's Money Bin. Now most of this is perfectly fine in the context of the episode; but with one exception. Walter NEVER mentions that Fenton Crackshell is Gizmo Duck even though he is exposed for all to see and they made it as if the cameras were rushing to him. WHAT?! I mean if I was Walter Cronduck; I would be trying to get an interview with Fenton Crackshell now and get his life story. They basically had to make it look like the camera crew was rushing in for no reason and make Walter look incredibly dumb (which is very insulting considering the character that inspired that creation to begin with) in the process just to protect Fenton's rep? This is absolutely stupid and it really injures the groove this episode was getting into. Nice going Jeffrey Scott.
Anyhow; Scrooge panics and runs after the bugs demanding the National Guard. As that is happening; we see Fenton hiding behind a building; so you know Fenton is smart enough to take advantage of Walter's gross stupidity. So the bugs continue their rampage by eating a stop light sign which in a cute spot panics and reads Don't Eat. I wonder what that would translate into from English to Picture Speak? Then we see Scrooge running into the street as a tank arrives and stops in front of it. Out comes a army soldier in a green outfit asking if someone called him. The answer is yes sir in case you didn't notice. Scrooge wants him to stop those bugs before they reach the Money Bin. The army dogperson takes out his binoculars and sees the bugs eating a fire hydrant and causing the water pillar spot. So the army dog wheels in his tank and stops. The army dogs demands that the mite surrender within ten seconds or they fire. Okay; this is so stupid because these bugs are not sentient; so they are NOT going to comprehend that thought at all. Plus; giving ten seconds to a bunch of bugs which destroyed an entire bean factory is just asking for your tank to be eaten within five seconds. And that is exactly what happens. And they even eat the missile that was fired too which renders the whole point of counting down from ten pointless. And the general's pants fall down too and his army hat was made of metal and it was eaten too. I wish Jeff would make up his mind about the logic of the belt buckle. The dogs surrender faster than France with the white flag. I think these army types are going to get a dishonorable discharge very soon in their future.
Anyhow; the carnage continues as we get another dumb spot as the termites eat the trim on the door and windows of a store and the glass and door fall down and shatter in the case of the glass window. The problem with this is; the trim on the sides never disappears AT ALL. And people wonder why Wang Films sucks almost as much as Sunwoo? There is your answer right there folks. We see Dijon stealing a slingshot and proclaiming that he loves window shopping. Ummm; yeah Dijon, you were supposed to get the bugs to get to the Money Bin already. So we cut back to Walter Cronduck calls this incredible as the bugs eat all the cars and the camera get eaten too by the crew. Geez; this seems to be a message about how awesome plastic is. Not that I mind plastic at all; even if it is an environmental problem to deal with. So we cut back to Flint watching the television as the signal goes dead and Flint is forced to turn on his old radio as Walter proclaims on it that they are multiplying. Huh? How? We pan east to the park as Fenton is hiding behind a tree and he proclaims that the bugs are hurting his chances of being a hero and staying as an accountant. Fenton hides himself admitting that the suit is what made him super and not himself. I guess being vain and stupid doesn't count as quality traits in the Disney superhero business after all. I'm still confused as to how the bugs multiplied though.
So we scene change to Scrooge running towards Gyro's house and inside as Gyro is working on something. Gyro apparently heard the whole thing on the radio and he has the solution to it which is a makeshift robot that chews bubble gum. HAHA! Scrooge is absolutely flustered on that one as we scene change to a sidewalk as Gyro brings his invention near to the bugs and Scrooge calls Gyro out of his mind. NO?! REALLY?! How many times has Gyro been out of his mind? Answer: Every time he has been on screen. So Gyro takes a piece of bubble gum and turns on the machine and the machine chews the bubble gum as the mites head towards the robot and Scrooge blows it off because it's not working. Gyro begs to differ as the bubble is blown and the mites eat the robot; but get stuck to the gum bubble. It bounces and the mites get stuck to it as Scrooge cannot believe that this is working. There is one major problem with this though; the bugs are NOT dead yet and thus the bubble will keep bouncing and bouncing. And I notice that Walter is a liar since there are the same amount of bugs now as there were before he claimed that they are multiplying. Bad logic break there Scotty. I betcha the bubble will bounce right towards the Money Bin. I check the video...Damn; I am so good.
Scrooge blows off Gyro and calls him a bubble brain. That is just cold Scroogie; since everything was working fine until the wind blew in and screwed you. Blame Mother Nature for this; it's not like you capitalists don't do that every time man-made climate change is talked about anyway. So Dijon follows the bubble while Scrooge pulls on his face in horror. We then cut back to in front of the mansion as the kids are counting their money from their lemonade stand. They made $250 profit and Louie thinks they cannot top that. Huey wants to wager on that because they are going to give away chili peppers and sell water for a dollar. The kids crackle gleefully. Where have I heard of this sneaky, underhanded tactic before? Oh yeah; Gosalyn Mallard did it in Dry Hard. And come to think of it; these nephews are sounding more like the Quack Pack nephews the longer this series goes. Then they notice the bubble in the sky as Walter continues to show that he is an metal bug chaser as he does his usual spiel about the bugs heading to the Money Bin. The nephews channel the power of Bradley from Stickin' Around and proclaim that this is a job for the Junior Woodchucks.
So we scene change to the Money Bin as the bubble heads towards it. We then cut to the bushes in front of the bin as Dijon pops up and invokes the slingshot (you thought he stole it just for crap and giggles didn't you? Okay; that might have been one reason; but not the most important reason...) with a rock and pops the bubble allowing the gum to be a parachute for the mites to safely drop to the ground and assemble. Walter Cronduck continues his spiel as we cut back to Flint's office as Flint is sitting with his feet on the desk eating a bag of popcorn. He proclaims that destroying Scrooge's fortune is better than making his own. Well; you know that they saw the fall of an empire is more interesting than the rise of an empire... Flint is throwing popcorn on itself as we cut to the bugs marching and the kids with the binoculars spotting them. Okay; I get Webby wearing the dead raccoon on her head; but why is she wearing Dewey's shirt when she always wears the pink shirt? Anyhow; Louie consults the LIBERAL RED BOOK OF LIES THE KIDS EDITION! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...I mean; the Junior Woodchuck guide book and it claims that the best way to stop a bug invasion is with a moat. So I'm guessing the flamethrower is out of the question. Anyhow; the nephews run in (and apparently; Webby is staying behind for goodness knows what reason) as we cut to Scrooge, Walter, Gyro, and the camera crew who apparently found a spare camera. Scrooge cannot watch this; but then we hear a truck honking and then see Huey and Dewey riding a tractor with a digging machine on the back of it as it digs a hole around the Money Bin.
Then in one of those moments that annoys me; we see Louie and Webby with the water hose. Wait; we clearly didn't see Webby run in so how did she teleport over to here now?! And why did Webby change her clothes to a blue shirt. Did BS&P step in after some feminist group complained that Webby was turning into a sexist stereotype?! Come to think about it; maybe this is the episode Nightflight was talking about and the only one the user saw in it's career and inflated it out of proportion. So they use the water hose to spray water into the hole and the mites are actually stopped in their tracks. Scrooge cheers for victory; but here comes Dijon as he trips, falls into the moat and creates a Dijon Mustard Bridge to allow the bugs to crawl across easily. IN YOUR FACE SCROOGE MCDUCK~! I can just hear Flintheart yelling that at his office right now. HAHA! Poor nephews; their plan was actually working too. Walter of course is an idiot and waits about 20 seconds AFTER they cross before proclaiming that Scrooge is in trouble again. In fact; he was going to say that Scrooge's money is safe AFTER the bugs had successfully crossed even though Walter was clearly seeing the moat where Dijon tripped and fell. Scrooge faints dead away in Gyro's arms in response as we cut back to Flint with the red flag listening on and cheering for Scrooge's fortune to die. And Flint is now wearing a navy blue bathrobe for no reason whatsoever. He must have taken a bath in between shots. This ends the segment 17 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we see Dijon still lying on the moat with the bugs crossing as Scrooge has somehow recovered proclaiming that his fortune is now bug food. Then Fenton runs in and tries to inform Scrooge that he must resign because he's a spineless wimp; but Scrooge blows him off and they all run in and remember to bop Dijon on the noggin for his evil ways. HA! The nephews apologize for failing to stop the bugs and Scrooge forgives them instantly. Well; he had to since it wasn't the nephews' fault for Dijon hustling in and ruining the plan. Yeah; a Junior Woodchuck plan that would have actually worked too. Scrooge proclaims that they will do better and then the babyfaces all run into the office in front of the vault. Webby proclaims that the bugs will be here any minute and Huey points out that the door is made of metal and it will turn to Swiss cheese. Scrooge runs into the storage office and returns with...cement? Yeah; we are suppose to buy that Scrooge had wet cement prepared beforehand just for such a moment. So the kids and Scrooge start patching up the door with wet cement as Fenton tries to tender his resignation; but Scrooge blows him off in kind. So the bugs climb up the Money Bin and towards the glass window on the roof which contains gold plated metal framing. Ummm; yeah.
So we head back to Scrooge knocking on the dried up cement on the vault door and the mites chew through the framing of the window and crawl to the cement and they try to chew through; but their teeth get shattered as a result. They then try to chew through as a team on the weakest part of the cement; but no dice. The mite bail and Scrooge cheers for victory; as Fenton counts the mites in rapid fire for my amusement. Then the mites crawl up to the alarm system control panel on the wall and they chew through that. Fenton then deduces that the mites are attracted to metal and it's calling them. Fenton bails as the alarm system is chewed through and Scrooge panics like crazy. Okay; wait a second? How does that work? If only the door is made of metal; then they still cannot get through that way. Unless the alarm system has some gateway to allow them to get into the vault in the first place. Sadly; we never get to see such a thing; so I'm confused here. Scrooge bangs on the cement and the nephews run in with the spike and hammer and break the cement down to get to the vault door. Now if the writers had done that and the mites were teasing Scrooge to make him think they were going in that way and then come down and eat through the door; that would make sense. Instead we cut to inside as the video camera gets eaten up by the mite as they somehow went through a wire that is smaller than they are. Like I said; this makes no sense. The mites drop into the vault and Scrooge yells for his money. It's all over for Scrooge now...
They drop down and are about to eat the gold coins and then we hear Fenton scream his OH MY GOD promo and the bugs fly away from the Money Bin and attach all the way onto Fenton as now he is BUGGY GIZMO DUCK~! Oh come on; you had to see this one coming because it was the only way Scrooge could win this at this point. Fenton uses the remote control and that turns on the conveniently placed machine magnet which allows the bugs to attach themselves too. See; as Huey explains, they ate so much metal that the atoms made it easy to magnetize the little buggers. Cheap; out of nowhere, but effective nevertheless and it made sense. Scrooge plays with his gold coins in the vault for fun. The denizens outside the moat cheer as Walter Cronduck proclaims that Fenton Crackshell has saved the day and the Money Bin as we cut back to Flintheart crying and whining in his popcorn over these turn of events. The lesson of the day: When you have metal munching bugs; always have a spare powerful magnet on standby. So Flint throws the popcorn and trips and falls on his face like me after throwing my hat down and falling on the sidewalk sometime ago. Sadly; he doesn't frail like a fish shouting PG language.
So Scrooge and Gyro go over and praise Fenton for his job well done. Fenton isn't buying this because without the suit; he's a spineless wimp and officially decides to resign as Scrooge's accountant. Scrooge agrees to it on one condition; which is to get rid of the mites. Fenton agrees to that at least; and then he does a rapid count and then realizes that there is one missing. Scrooge panics like crazy and even claims that it will multiply (which is dumb because the mite is capable to eating all the money without such a convoluted manner); so Fenton grabs Scrooge's top hat and uses a small magnet and zaps the final mite which is on to of Scrooge's head. Huh? I don't recall Scrooge ever being anywhere NEAR the mite at anytime during the episode. Bad logic break there Scotty. Scrooge shakes Fenton's hand and praises him big time. He does understand if Fenton decides to resign; but Fenton completely blows it off and proclaims that once Gyro makes a new suit; he's back to being a vain, full of himself duck. HAHA! We wouldn't want it any other way. Fenton and Scrooge walk out as Fenton has a Krackpotkin plan for those mites; which with the proper control; they can be sentient enough to be used as a replacement for the demolition crew at the McDuck demolition company.
We get a full demonstration of Fenton using the magnet machine to let the bugs crumble a metal house and then get pulled back by the magnet machine after they are done. Now that is cutting your costs down. Then Dijon comes in practicing the fine art of not being seen as the fat bird worker with a hat hard pays Scrooge money and Scrooge has dollar signs in his eyes for the third time in as many episodes. And to think; they used to stay away from that spot throughout most of 1989. So we head to Flint's mansion as Flint is checking his gold coins and then out of nowhere; Dijon appears from the open window. Even Flint demands to know about this outrage as Dijon has some news to share with him. The bad news is that Scrooge is making billions with the wrecking business which makes Flint groan in pain. Dijon has good news because he decided to steal some bugs for Flint so he can start over with a new plan. Sadly; Dijon is still freakin clueless of the fact that the bugs are not sentient and therefore they crawl away from Dijon, Flint panics like mad and the mites eat all the metal objects they see in Flint's office. We cut to the mansion shot as Dijon apologizes and still gets Flint's last name wrong. How fitting eh? Glomgold screams like a banshee and that ends the episode at 21:15. Great story; bad logic breaks and some really weird spots from Wang Films. Dijon's television debut is clearly better than his movie debut although they could have done a better job editing this story since some of the moments really made no sense. Call it *** 3/4 (75%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Another day; another good episode featuring Gizmo Duck. Jeffrey Scott's debut here good; it was really good. However; there was a decent chunk of it which showed some major flaws in the story. The whole Fenton resigning thing wasn't built up enough for instance and Dijon's appearance should have been build up as many Ducktales fans didn't see the movie or didn't care about it. The logic on the metal was wonky at times and the whole getting into the vault by the security camera was silly and contrived. And there were some annoying logic breaks including Webby changing shirts for no reason. However; the story was very solid and Fenton was funny as usual along with Dijon and the finish and ending were so fitting for everyone involved; it was a fun and entertaining episode even if it needed more seasoning and editing in order to be a perfect episode. It's a nice debut for Jeffrey Scott; although he will always be known as the one who wrote the ***** episode Paradise Lost giving Wildcat his greatest moment ever. So next up is The Duck Who Knew Too Much; New Gizmo Kids On The Block and Scrooge's Last Adventure left in terms of Gizmo Duck episode before the big finale of Ducktales: The Golden Goose. Just five episodes left to go and this series is done in terms of television. So.....
Thumbs in the middle, pointing up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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