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The Ducktales Movie: Treasure Of The Lost Lamp

Reviewed: 06/11/2011-06/14/2011

The Treasure Of The Extended Love In Is More Like It!

Time now for the Father's Day Specials. Last year; I did the Fluppy Dogs special which bombed badly; and I also did For Whom The Bell Klangs re-rant two years before which was a great Kit-less episode. So now; I'm aiming for the middle quality wise with my first official rant on a movie that was released in the movie theater here. It's The Ducktales Movie.

Seriously; Michael Eisner actually decided to take the DTVA show Ducktales and turn it into a movie. Now personally; considering how successful Ducktales was on television; it didn't sound like a bad idea at the time. Of course; in the end the movie bombed badly making less than $20 million at the box office. I has no clue if it made a profit or not (Note from the future: It broke even, so the answer is none of the above); but I think the biggest problem was that the movie was basically an extended episode of Ducktales more than anything else and really didn't do anything historic or groundbreaking. In other words; out of nowhere and going the same place was the verdict. As I said earlier in the TaleSpin rants and elsewhere; Eisner should have slotted Plunder and Lightning as the cinematic movie because it felt like one even on television (and as I said before: Why bother spending $7+ when I can get it better on television for almost nothing?) and needed to be one.

P&L was the origin story of TaleSpin; it would mean something and it would have been awesome and give Disney the big stars it needed to thrust Disney into awesomeness and shut up a lot of Michael Eisner critics in the process. Plus; this was released five weeks before Plunder and Lightning on Disney Channel and made $18 million; which means about 2.5 million people max saw it. I don't know how P&L the movie did on DC; but syndies were doing around as high as 11.4 million. If all of them saw the movie without repeat viewing, P&L could have made nearly $80 million and made a decent profit. Sadly; that would also imply that Eisner was a jobs value exec and not the demographics exec we all knew he was even in 1990 so it didn't happen. Eisner decided bashing Bugs Bunny was a better route than actually building up TaleSpin. And people are surprised when Warner Brothers and Fox were kicking their asses six ways from Sunday?

Anyhow; I have never seen the movie from start to finish, and I'm ready to be surprised like I was with Fluppy Dogs; even though the end result of that cartoon was a joke. So let's rant on shall we..?!

This movie is written by Alan Burnett, Ken Koonce and David Weimers. The movie was directed by Bob Hathcock and there is no story editor. Bob Hathcock you should know as a producer of The Smurfs and various DTVA programs. Maryoku Yummy and Strawberry Shortcake: The Berryfeast Princess are his most recent credits. His debut is Goober & The Ghost Chasers (I wonder if copyright was the reason for one of Fenton's lines being edited out in Super Ducktales?) and Charlotte's Web both in 1973. Ducktales is his DTVA debut. He has 30 animation credits, 16 producer credits, 22 director credits, and nine art department credits. The animation is done by Walt Disney Animation France and additional animation is provided by Annie Mate Animation Services London (!!!) and Pacific Rim Animation Productions...and it shows almost from the outset actually.

We begin this one with a ground shot of an abyss with a vulture circling. We get the Disney Movietoons logo centered on the screen. A note: From what I have heard from various people on Toonzone: Even though the entire film was created by studios which were a part of Disney's Television Animation division; Disney didn't want to create confusion and the thought that this movie was a television movie and thus we have a division like this. I found this quite pointless since it did not help nor hurt the movie in anyway. So we pan south and then east as the Ducktales movie logo is shown and here comes a airplane out of control. Take three guesses who is flying it and the first two don't count. Inside, Scrooge is panicking as Huey (I think) wants to go faster; while Scrooge wants to go slower. You know; if I was not a fan, I wouldn't reveal Launchpad's name until we actually see him flying. That would create suspense. Of course this was made for Ducktales fans only and thus rendered useless anyway for obvious reasons. We then see the plane fly down the abyss side out of control still. We finally see LP flying like he's too focused (I see he's too numb to fatalism now which is a character development I didn't need) as Scrooge asks if LP is doing stunts in flight school and LP admits in roundabout terms that he didn't go to a flight school. Scrooge is not amused at that one as LP claims that he took a crash course. HAR HAR! Scrooge is flustered as the nephews don't have a care in the world as they watch from the window. LP's flying seemly gets a lot better as time goes on as the rocks crumble down the steep hill and nearly MURDER Dijon with a shovel on the sandy ground below. Oh goody; it's our first 1990 character from the Ducktales series; and maybe one of only a few characters to truly get over.

Dijon is voiced by Richard Libertini and according to the USIMDB: Richard Libertini was born in E. Cambridge, Massachusetts, to parents who had come to America from southern Italy. Having grown up in a household where both Italian and English were spoken, he developed an ear for foreign accents. A facility he would later use to advantage on stage and in films. He graduated from Emerson College in Boston, and for a while earned a living as a trumpet player in the Boston area. Later, he moved to New York, where he teamed up with two former college classmates, MacIntyre Dixon and Lynda Segal, to create an off-Broadway revue called "Stewed Prunes." (This was during the coffee house revolution in the 1960s. Bob Dylan was playing around the corner.) The show was quite successful and after running a year in New York they took it on the road. While playing Chicago, he was asked to join the renowned Second City Improvisational Theatre Group, an association which continues to the present.After a number of years doing stage work in New York (Woody Allen's Don't Drink the Water (1969) and Paul Sills' "Story Theatre" (1971) among many others) he eventually moved to L.A. where he began doing films. Three of his most memorable characters are the Spanish-American dictator in The In-Laws (1979) with Alan Arkin and Peter Falk, the Tibetan Mystic in All of Me (1984) with Steve Martin, and Lily Tomlin and the justice of the peace in Best Friends (1982) with Goldie Hawn and Burt Reynolds. Other films include Fletch (1985) with Chevy Chase and Popeye (1980) with Robin Williams. His debut was in 1968 on The Night They Raided Minskey's and was as Shelly in Family Man. Ducktales is his DTVA debut in earlier DTVA episodes in the two parter The Golden Goose and Attack of the Metal Mites. He has 112 credits to his resume and has appeared on the Johnny Carson show in 1990.

So we get a shot of the under wing as the flying continues as one of the nephews points out that they are at the dig site (as if Dijon with a shovel didn't get that one away?) as Scrooge proclaims that there is a hidden chamber somewhere in the bowels of this very site. Oooooooo. Huey (the nephews and Webby are here by the way) asks if it might be the treasure of Calli Baba and his forty thieves. Wonder if those 40 thieves were females? Or something more problematic? So LP flies around the nicely designed columns as he tells everyone to put the seats in an upright position which Scrooge gleefully answers that one for me since the plane is upside down. The Arab natives are apparently workers (this could be considered racist; but Scrooge is considered a slave driver regardless of race, religion, sex or talent.) who are using a pulley system to get someone (or something up) to the surface; but LP's flying distracts them and the pulley system backfires allowing one of the workers to do a headbutt into the wooden structure. The plane turns around and LP tries to fit the plane into the middle of the columns (much to the panic of Scrooge of course; much to the joy of everyone else of course) and manages to stick the plane in between two columns using the wings. I'm calling that logic break #1 for the movie since the columns were spread out a lot more on far shots.

LP tells everyone to remain seated until the airplane comes to a complete stop; which of course the wings crumble the columns just enough for them to tumble like dominoes much to the panic of Dijon and the workers who flee of course. The dust settles as I wait with baited breath on Scrooge Wants To Strangle Launchpad #265 and we slowly zoom northwest to see Launchpad turn on the landing gear as the workers return. Oh; and the airplane is upside down again in case you care about those kind of details. The doors opens and everyone pops out with Webby walking in last as the males make a duck pile and Scrooge finally gets on LP's case for destroying ancient ruins. LP dust himself off and claims that it could be something new. HAHA! Scrooge is pissed on THAT one. The workers run in telling Scrooge that they found something and so we do a scene changer less than three minutes in. We see the ducks looking on as the workers heave ho on the pulley system and they pull out the CHEST OF DEMONS. Well; not quite, but close enough eh?

Two of the workers set it down near Scrooge who actually takes his glasses and swears in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE (Bless me bagpipes!). It's so nice to be doing this kind of show again after dealing with the same swearing in Fish Hooks. Scrooge notices the engraving of Calli Baba on the bronze plate on the chest and laughs as the workers are impressed of Scrooge's rope cutting using only a cane. Dijon gets the evil look of doom because he was the heel in the Ducktales television series see. Scrooge breaks the lock and opens the chest to reveal...Wait for it....Calli Baba's dirty laundry. HAHA! I know this because Scrooge whines about searching for 40 years. So this project has been in the works since he was in his mid 20's? Dewey gets buried in the clothes of course much to the nephews laughter. So Dewey was cursed by Calli Baba's clothes and became the best nephew in Quack Pack. I guess Huey and Louie shouldn't have been giggling at his expense after all. Did I mention that the plump worker has an eye patch on his left eye?

Webby thinks the box is pretty and Scrooge is not impressed; but the workers certainly are. Louie then notices a scroll with the royal bronze seal of Calli Baba in the gray robe pocket and Scrooge grabs it. He pulls the seal off of it and opens it. Scrooge proclaims that it's a map. Thankfully for us; it's not the map! Everyone ooo's as Scrooge proclaims that this dig is not a lost cause after all as he walks stage left. Dijon is near the cave site as the sun is setting slowly grinning with evil intentions as we see a robed magician's shadow on top of the abyss above in a neat visual. We go to the next scene changer as we are seeing an image coming from a crystal ball as Dijon addresses the magician as Merlock.

Merlock is voiced by Christopher Lloyd: He began acting by age 14 and started apprenticing in summer stock. He took acting classes in New York City at age 19, some at the Neighborhood Playhouse with Sanford Meisner. He appeared in several Broadway productions, including Happy End, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Red, White and Maddox, Kaspar, The Harlot and the Hunted, The Seagull, Total Eclipse, Macbeth, In the Boom Boom Room, Cracks, Professional Resident Company, What Every Woman Knows, And They Put Handcuffs on the Flowers, The Father, King Lear, and Power Failure. His first major motion picture role was as a psychiatric patient in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Prior to this, he appeared uncredited in the 1970 film Airport. However, he may be most remembered for his roles as Reverend Jim Ignatowski, the ex-hippie cabbie on the TV sitcom Taxi, and the eccentric inventor Emmett "Doc" Brown in the Back to the Future trilogy of science fiction films, for which he was nominated for a Saturn Award. He portrayed the villain Maj. Bartholomew 'Butch' Cavendish in The Legend of the Lone Ranger a role he has played numerous times in various spin-offs and incarnations. He also played notable roles as Klingon Commander Kruge in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Professor Plum in "Clue", Professor Dimple in an episode of Road to Avonlea, the title role in The Pagemaster, the villain Judge Doom in Disney/Amblin's Who Framed Roger Rabbit, a wacky sound effects man named Zoltan in Radioland Murders, and Uncle Fester in the big screen adaptations of The Addams Family. In 1999 Lloyd was reunited onscreen with Michael J. Fox in an episode of Spin City titled "Back to the Future IV — Judgment Day" where Lloyd plays Owen Kingston, Mike Flaherty's (Fox's character) former mentor who stops by City Hall to see him, only to proclaim himself as God. That same year, he starred in the movie remake of the 1960s series My Favorite Martian. Also in November 2007, Lloyd was reunited onscreen with his former Taxi co-star Judd Hirsch in the (Season 4 episode) "Graphic" of the TV series Numb3rs. Ducktales is his only DTVA appearance. He has 162 credits to his resume; not including 33 self credits. He debuted in Airport in 1970 and Time The Fourth Dimension is his most recent credit due out in 2012. He is also PBS villain The Hacker in Cyberchase.

Merlock is a purple robed mage (with golden trim) with a green sun crystal amulet and is a gray dogsperson with a gray beard and evil porn mustache. Dijon I will mention in the future since he's in the television series (he's also a dogspeople in Arab clothes by the way) as he does some Superman promos to amuse me as Merlock proclaims that he deserved to be rewarded for his questionable antics. Dijon wants a mountain of MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH as Merlock wants the map. Of course Dijon is such an idiot that he forgot to STEAL the map first. So Merlock grabs him and threatens the POWER OF THE PUNCH; so Dijon explains that it's nine against one basically. However; he did steal a pocket watch, books of matches, dental floss and two tickets to a festival. HAHA! Merlock is pissed off of course. He clearly does not know the meaning of the phrase: Do not look a gift horse in the mouth. He drops Dijon like a bad habit as it's clear from the lack of CGI that we are in Sunwoo animation now. Dijon offers the floss as Merlock wants to know where the map leads. Dijon claims that it's in the middle of the desert where the sand burns like a hot kabob. Merlock is not amused; but he decides to let Scrooge search the area for him. Dijon likes this move; so Merlock appoints him to be Scrooge's guide. HAHA! Dijon tries to weasel his way out of this one; and you can pretty much guess the result of that. Dijon decides to accept and Merlock invokes the green light off-screen and turns into the vulture from the opening. So the opening sequence DOES have a point after all? Merbird flies away. PECK! OUCH! Ummmmm.....

So we head to a shot of the burning sun as we pan down to see the nephews making fart sounds...oh wait; it's the camel walking in a funny way as we see the camel from the sand dunes, my mistake. Webby gets the one with a pink umbrella while Launchpad is in summer gear. Take one guess which way he is riding the camel. HAHA! Scene changer again as Dijon's camel leads the way through the sand dunes. I don't understand having a scene changer here as Dijon wipes the sweat from his forehead and squeezes sweat from his clothes. Scrooge has the map of course and starts reading it while wearing Guy Ladouce's outfit. Scrooge claims that the treasure is under the gaze of a mount Bagdude (which happens to look like a Easter Island statue in the middle of nowhere). More bouncing from the nephews on the camel. The nephews don't see anything and there isn't even a mirage. Launchpad feels that they took a wrong turn at the last sand dune as his camel trips over the conviently placed roof of a ancient ruins and Launchpad is ejected from the camel and does a forward roll and lands on his head. Good thing there's a lot of sand to cushion what little good brain cells LP has left after some 75 crashes or so. So now Launchpad has crashed a camel. Scrooge gleefully blows him off for that as Launchpad claims Dumpty is the camel's name and he had a great fall as he kicks the conveniently placed triangle roof of a pyramid and does the foot grabbing spot of course.

The nephews run in and start digging with their hands as they realize that this is no mini rock either. Dijon tries to cool himself with his only known fan but the prop breaks off and Scrooge orders him to start digging as he drops the shovel right on his foot off-screen. Dijon's selling is poor to say the least. Thankfully; Scrooge and the nephews join Dijon into the digging with shovels this time. We scene change after about six weeks of digging judging by the height of the pyramid and Merbird returns and sits on top of the roof with an evil look. PECK! OUCH! Ummmmm.... We zoom down towards the ground near the entrance and cut to Dijon bracing himself on a shovel and faints on his face. We cut to Scrooge as he translates the heliogyphics as he proclaims that he has found the entrance as he twists the golden knob of Calli Baba's engraved coin. Well; this must be the place since Calli is no longer using bronze anymore. The big ass stone door raise as everyone except Merbird is in awe. Merbird grins in an evil fashion instead. PECK! OUCH! Ummmm...

Scrooge enters first and finds a torch and brings out the lighter which seems to be so cheap that it take three tries to start it; but then when it works it's almost like a flamethrower. He lights the torch and we get a closeup of the torches flame as Scrooge looks around and finds another door telling everyone in a poorly acted matter that it's time to go in. LP grabs Dijon for no real reason that I can think of as the nephews are giddy as they enter. Dijon not so much as Launchpad forces him in (Dijon's attempt to weasel out implies that he wants to make love with a camel. Ooooookkkkkkaaayyyy.). We walk for a while down the hallway towards a lion's mouth as one of the nephews asks if they will see a mummy; which Dijon wants to see. Only it's his mommy instead. Scrooge pushes on though as he stops and tells Webby to stay close because there are dangers lurking in them hallway filled with ugly monster like statues. LP thinks it's doesn't look dangerous and then trips and the flamethrower trap spews flame. So Dijon acts like Scooby to Scrooge's Shaggy as the nephews run in. Louie pushes on the square button which Sunwoo misses by six inches; but the flamethrower still works. How did Sunwoo NOT mess up P&L Part Four; I'll never know.

Huey then wants to consult the LIBERAL RED BOOK OF LIES THE KIDS EDITION~! POW! OUCH! Ummmm....I mean the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook as the book sezs to stay alert and use your marbles which Dewey brings out a bag of marbles to pay off the obvious joke. Webby uses the umbrella to point to the next entrance which is all blue/green lighting which indicates that we are finally in Sunwoo animation ground now. Speaking of ground; we see Dewey on the ground taking out a blue marble and flicking it. Wait; wasn't Huey the marble flicking champion in Pearl of Wisdom? Logic break #2 for the episode as Dewey hits the OUT OF NOWHERE conveniently placed switch on the floor. That looks too fake to be taken seriously in this movie and the ugly Japanese frog statue shoots a spiked morning star into the wall with a decent bump. Dijon needs to reconsider his contexts of injuries when it comes to spiked crushing objects I see as Scrooge is not amused either. So Dijon gets the torch passed to him and Scrooge shoves him because he's his guide see. Dijon slowly walks around the bend as we have mature lighting now as the nephews want Dijon to go faster. Dijon offers the torch to the nephews before the nephews panic allowing Dijon to conviently miss the brown switch on the floor. At least this one blends into the floor better.

Dijon gives Dewey the torch and offers to trip the trap and he does allowing the big ass cog wheel of golden pain to roll down and Dijon dodges easily. Dijon thinks he's clever; so the big ass cog wheel of golden pain squashes him flatter than Alexander the Grape. Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! The trap splits into two as Dijon is perfectly intact proving that he is truly god. Not god in the sense of awesome character; but god in the sense that he's a cartoon character. Note the difference. Sadly; Dijon drunk routine needs work as he and the gang are now on the conveniently placed trap door and it opens and they all freefall. Logic break #2 for the episode; since there was no button to trigger the trap. We slide down the slide towards the fork in the slide as the ducks go right (Republican!) and Dijon goes left (Democrat!). Sadly; there is no third slide here. More sliding down as they meet again with Dijon retaking the lead and part of the slide crumbles allowing everyone to drop down with decent bumps into the green/blue lighting room. Dijon of course is on bottom and that ends the segment at 10:27. Decent start so far....

After the Youtube break; we see the kids drop on the adults as one of Dewey's yellow/blue marbles exits the bag and bounces towards a blue diamond switch on the floor and then rolls around the crescent moon edge on the floor (You can't tell me Baba didn't intend that to happen.) and after some gasping; the marble bounces onto the diamond switch and the wall door slides right and everyone is in awe as we see a rope bridge connecting to a pillar containing a golden bowl of treasure. Note the sunlight in this scene as everyone runs in as Dijon places the torch on the wall holder and joins in. When Scrooge's jumps into the bowl; the entire walls turn blue despite seeing nothing but brown walls and sunlight. That's logic break #3 for the movie. He finds a statue of Calli Baba and calls him an old dog. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. The kids jump in as Dewey grabs a diamond which shows dozens of his eyes. Launchpad dunks his face in and gets gems in his eyes and then shakes it off. Yeah; that was a mouthful indeed LP. Dijon takes a few of the gems and coins; but then stops and notices that there is a lamp in the bowl. Which there is blue pearls string against it.

We see that Louie has somehow teleport to a spot away from the bowl as he opens a CHEST OF DEMONS to reveal more goodies. Louie notices a coin pop and it rolls off the edge into the abyss below as Louie looks over and panics. Scrooge is crowned (HA!) as he pops up and the gang notices that below the pillar there are three big ass lobster like gold crabs which LP calls sumo wrestling scorpions. If you are going to make that joke guys; make them not look like lobsters. Logic break #4 for the movie. Scrooge blows it off because they are safe on top of the pillar as we see Dijon climb in and tries to grab the lamp; but recoils are Scrooge blows him off. Dijon gives the run around promo of being innocent; but Scrooge orders him to get the sacks of course. Dijon is thankfully and slithers out of the bowl and runs stage left out of the area. He runs past the conviently placed lever on the wall as we cut back to the ducks. Dewey asks how Scrooge is keeping all of this treasure and Scrooge claims he isn't since most will go to museums. That contrived selling tells me that Scrooge is not doing this in an selfless way...and he proves me right because he wants the tax break that goes with it. HA! Yeap; that is Scrooge to a T. Sadly; it's the one that makes him a heel in Disney's eyes according to Nightflight. Too bad it's also weapons grade projection on Disney's part. Webby notices the lamp in the middle and grabs it. She thinks it's a tea pot as Scrooge grabs it and uses the MAGIC LENS OF DOOM on it. Scrooge blows it off as an old oil lamp and hardly worth taking. Webby asks if she can have it for her tea set and after some pretty pleasing on Webby's part; Scrooge relents and gives her the oil lamp in exchange for the pretty tiara. Scrooge proclaims that Webby can never say that Scrooge never gave her anyway. That's funny considering that he was the one who gave Webby a home with Mrs. Beakly. They both embrace of course.

Scene changer and we see a shot of three sacks of treasure near the stone area in front of the rope bridge. We zoom right to see Scrooge shoveling the last of the treasure into the fourth sack pretty much by himself. Huey asks if Launchpad can carry it as LP seals the sack and tries to carry it; but stumbles towards the edge forcing Dijon to brace him near the edge to counter. The edge crumbles quite a bit; but Dijon stablizes LP and LP thanks him. Dijon decides to carry the load himself and walks away remembering to kick LP in the face; forcing him to grab onto the edge as Dijon walks away with the sack on the rope bridge. Okay; I can see how they got the other three sacks across now. LP is helped up by the nephews and Scrooge. This would have been more dangerous if they were only half of the height between the edge and the floor and that would make the lobster scorpions more threatening.

Merbird flies in OUT OF NOWHERE (how did he get in from the top when there is no window?) and grabs the sack and transforms back into Merlock. Thank goodness I can stop mocking him. POW! OUCH! Ummmmm.... Merlock runs to the torch as he offers to light up the guide. Scrooge runs in smelling two desert rats; so Merlock lights the bridge on fire with the torch as Scrooge backs away. Tarzan spot ensues as Scrooge plasters against the wall and then jumps up to avoid the bite of the scorpions. Ah; so that's why the pillar was at that height. Scrooge climbs up to the pillar and blows off Merlock and Dijon as thieving dogs. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. So Merlock blows them off and pushes the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and the pillar sinks down slowly towards the scorpions. HA! Scrooge calls their prices too good to be true as the nephews start cutting ropes near the basket as Scrooge does his cane-fu with the scorpion. Then in one of the most silliest moments in DTVA history; Webby runs in does some smack fu on the second scorpion coming behind Scrooge and whacks it off the pillar.

The ropes are cut as LP grabs the turtle shell and it's turtle time. Guys; the TMNT movies did almost $202 million for the first one in 1990, the second one did $78.7 million, III did $42.3 million and the latest one in 2007 did $95.6 million. I think you get the picture on why turtle jokes are pointless in a $18 million gross film. One of the scorpions gets on top and claws through the shell easily as LP goes all Hacksaw Jim Duggan on us. Okay; I like that kind of joke as they bump into the wall and we reverse ho as Scrooge threatens to give LP the heave ho as they go through the conviently placed opening in a cave where the scorpions cannot catch them. The ducks are in a cave which leads to a flowing river as the turtle shell is overturned. Scrooge plays lookout as the nephews stuff their backpacks into DA....HOLE (God bless Baby Plucky!) which I doubt will work as LP and the nephews put the overturned turtle shell into the river. LP boosts the backing up Scrooge into the shell as the nephews and Webby get it. LP pushes the boat and dives in just before the scorpions can claw him and it's the old river ride turtle style.

So we return to outside the pyramid of Calli Baba as Merlock tosses treasure away on the ground looking for the lamp. We see Dijon claiming that it is in there and he'll be as pleased as pop. Sadly for him; Merlock has the royal stick of pain and bends it like a strongman demanding to know where it is. Dijon stammers like an idiot as usual. Merlock grabs him by the throat accusing Dijon of stealing it. On that shot; it appears Merlock has lost his head too. Silly sweat shop animators; you might be able to get away with that in a television series; but not in a movie we pay $7 to see. Merlock grabs the ankles and shakes Dijon and that goes nowhere. So Merlock yells at him to tell him where the lamp is. Dijon claims that Scrooge is a thief with beautiful children and acts like a moralist. Merlock no sells him and drops Dijon like a bad habit as he tugs on his green sun amulet with his teeth and transforms into a bird again this time on screen. Merbird flies away into the pyramid as Dijon goes into the pile of gold and tosses some away and acts like a goofball trying out jewelery and the big ass diamond. HAHA!

So we head back to the watering hole with a dripping waterfall as the turtle shell rides across it. LP wants to know where this all leads as Huey pops out to scout and LP doesn't want to know as we hit the underground rapids. We also get the low ceiling spot as everyone ducks; no pun intended. So they go down the badly designed whirlpool and that logically leads to.....outside in an oasis. Ooookkkkkaaaayyy. We then head to the shore on the west pan shot and see a couple of Guy Ladouce hats pop up and then the turtle shell popping up which makes no sense to me with everyone coughing their lungs out. Scrooge grabs his cane on the shore as Louie wants to do that again. Scrooge is not amused and sulks as he walks into the palm tree path. I know this because there is a downed palm tree there. Launchpad has Webby and proclaims that at least they are all right. Scrooge sits on a fallen palm tree and blows it off as Webby walks in with the lamp. I wondered where it was since we never see her have it during the entire sequence. Logic break #4 for the movie. Scrooge sulks about losing the treasure of the past 100 years as Webby offers Scrooge back the lamp. Scrooge nicely no sells as he rants about searching for 40 plus years without getting it and plans to get it back even if it takes 40 years more as Webby sits down with him and they embrace as we fade to black to turn Michael Eisner on.

So we return into the pyramid pillar chamber as Dijon walks in calling out for Scrooge wearing sacks on his legs. Heh. He calls for Merlock too which you would think would be the worst idea ever right now. Dijon looks over the edge as the gold coins fly and then Dijon is grabbed by Merlock demanding answers as we get logic break #5 for the movie since Dijon is wearing only underwear. When did he lose his pants? This makes no sense whatsoever. If this was a cheap underwear joke; fine, but at least show when he LOST the underwear so that the joke isn't OUT OF NOWHERE and goes the same place. Merlock proclaims that they vanished. No, not really. Dijon asks how and Merlock claims that they have the lamp and Dijon must help him or the WRAITH OF THE LOBSTER CRABS will be a tickle compared to his wrath as Dijon is placed over the edge to the waiting scorpions. Wait; that makes no sense either as we fade to black. That ends the segment at 18:35. This is feeling like a Ducktales episode now which is not exactly what this movie needs actually.

After the Youtube break; we head back to the city of Duckberg. We know this because we see the city and the words “Duckberg, two days later.” I'm sorry; but this pan is dull without the funny narrator from Spongebob Squarepants. We hear the phone ring as we head to Scrooge's Moneybin as Mrs. Featherby (or as Disney Captions sometimes calls her Mrs. Featherbee. Voiced by June Foray. Funny note: One critic who panned this movie lambasted June Foray for being in this movie which is funny considering that if he did the research; June Foray not only was doing Mrs. Featherby in the television series; she was Magica Despell a main character on the very same show.) answers the phone. She enters Scrooge's office with his lunch on a platter as Scrooge is at his desk. Apparently; they want to know what happened to the treasure. So Scrooge picks up the phone and yells that it's none of their business and slams the phone down. Scrooge fills his doctors bag as he rants about the press distracting him from his affairs as Featherby gives Scrooge a paper note paperclipped to a letter telling Scrooge that he's been invited to some ball which Scrooge blows off. I can say it; but I cannot spell it. Scrooge doesn't want to be reminded of failing to get Calli Baba's treasure again as Featherby tells him that he got it for a little while this time. Scrooge closes up the doctor's bag proclaiming that he cannot work and is going home. Featherby asks about the lunch and Scrooge yells at her to sell it and slams the door shut behind him. Featherby doesn't know what to make of that.

So we go to Scrooge's mansion on the sky shot as we head to the cafe dinner table as the nephews are sitting at the table eating as Mrs. Beakly gives Webby the polishing kit which is basically a sprayer that looks like Windex. Webby thanks her as she plops in front of the table all giddy. Webby sprays the Windex on the lamp proclaiming that she is going to have a tea party with all her dollies as Huey blows her off like the sexist that he is. Nice to see that the writers use the right nephew for that. Duckworth comes in and informs Mrs. Beakly that he has been summoned to pick up Scrooge since he's having a chippy day. Still better than a terrible day of course as the adults walk out stage right. The nephews decide to play outside today as Webby uses the cloth to polish the lamp and anyone who has watched enough Aladdin movies (both animated or otherwise) should know what happens next. It shakes violently as we get Quackeroonie #1 for the movie almost 20 minutes in; a new record for Ducktales actually. Huey gets all sharp and inspects the lamp before using his sleeve to rub the lamp and the lamp bounces some more. Dewey calls it a Mexican Jumping Lamp as the kids hide underneath the table and the lamp shoot out some magic dust as it bounces off stuff and we see a duck kid who looks like a genie. The genie yells that he's free at last and it's Shaboozie! I do not want to know what that means and I don't think the duck kids want to either.

The genie is voiced by Rip Taylor and according to the USIMDB: The nicknames "The Prince of Pandemonium," "The Master of Mayhem" and "King of Camp and Confetti" are but a few valid applications that have been thrust upon zany comedian Rip Taylor, whose unique blend of burlesque and self-deprecating humor has entertained audiences for over four decades. A clever, quicksilver comic, he has headlined the top showrooms of Las Vegas, appeared on scores of television shows, starred in various musical stage slapsticks and even toyed with dramatic material over the years. Born Charles Elmer Taylor under quieter and more normal circumstances in Washington, DC, on January 13, 1934, the raucous Rip began it all tossing out one-liners in nightclubs and had his first big break on 'Ed Sullivan (I)''s "Toast of the Town" (1948) TV show in 1964. The tacky costumes, ridiculous props, handlebar mustache, wacky wigs and manic confetti-tossing didn't take long to follow as professional trademarks, and they soon made their way into the 1970s pop culture. Frequently appearing on television, he appeared in everything from variety shows to talk shows (Merv Griffin and David Letterman) to sitcoms like "The Monkees" (1966). He was the gag man who delightfully wrangled out of every groan-inducing one-liner there was, eventually finding the perfect avenue for his brand of insanity via producer Chuck Barris and his syndicated TV shows of the 1970s and 1980s.

Rip became a favorite panelist judge along with Jaye P. Morgan on Barris' "The Gong Show" (1976), and later served as host of the equally tacky "The $1.98 Beauty Show" (1978). A mainstay in Las Vegas, whether as ringleader of a topless chorus line or opening act to a major entertainer, Rip also slayed 'em on Broadway ("Sugar Babies") and has demonstrated a fine singing instrument in musicals including "Anything Goes," "Oliver!" (as Fagan), "Peter Pan" (as Captain Hook) and in a 1999 production of "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" (as Pseudolus). On the more serious side he played Demi Moore's crusty boss in Indecent Proposal (1993) and showed up sans confetti as Kate Hudson's father in the Rob Reiner feature Alex & Emma (2003). For the most part, however, Rip has continued on his merry way in such campy film nonsense as Barris' The Gong Show Movie (1980); the "Exorcist" spoof Repossessed (1990) with Linda Blair and Leslie Nielsen; the foreign-made Il silenzio dei prosciutti (1994) [The Silence of the Hams] and Jackass: The Movie (2002). Beginning in the early 1960s, when he first provided additional voices for "The Jetsons" (1962), Rip has continued making voice-over work a viable means of income. His voice can be heard in such animated films as DuckTales: The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp (1990), Tom and Jerry: The Movie (1992) and Scooby-Doo! and the Monster of Mexico (2003) (V). Rip was nominated for an Emmy award for voicing the role of Uncle Fester in the TV cartoon series "The Addams Family" (1992).

Jackie Gleason & His American Scene Magazine was his first appearance in acting in 1963; and The Toast Of The Town in 1961 was his first comedy gig on television. He has 73 self credits and 45 acting credits to his resume; along with two soundtrack credits (The Brady Bunch Hour and The Tom & Jerry Movie). Ducktales is his DTVA debut and he also appeared in Bonkers as Whacky Weasel, Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go and The Emperor's New Sckool as the Royal Recordkeeper. In fact that last one is his most recent credit. Grim & Evil is his most recent non-Disney credit.

Additional Notes: Since there is no known credits for the rest of the cast; they will be mentioned now. The additional voices are provided by Sherry Lynn Garris and Mickie McGowan (among others including Charlie Adler, Jack Angel, Steve Bulen (returning from Down And Out In Duckberg), Patrick Pinney and Frank Welker and those ones have already been noticed in other rants). Sherry has only two other works of acting: Gore Whore and Damselivs, Daughter of Helivs. Ducktales is her only DTVA appearance. Mickie McGowan does two things: additional voices and ADR for various movies which is around 50 titles depending on your poison. Her start was on the Scooby & Scrappy Doo show in 1983 for television and Cheech & Chong's The Coriscan Brothers for ADR. She also did ADR for Fight Club, Saving Private Ryan, City Slickers and Diehard 2. She also got a special thanks for Spirit of '76. Ducktales is her DTVA debut and she also appeared in Doug's First Movie.

Louie thinks it's a genie and Dewey deduces that it's not the tooth fairy. It could be both actually. Have you ever thought of that my nephews? The genie sees the nephews and then hides behind a table. The genie wants to know where Calli Baba is and if Rome fell. Webby states that she merely rubbed the lamp and apologizes. The genie decides to accept the kids as their new masters. He stretches out and apparently his foot was asleep for 600 years. He looks around the cool Casba. A pop-culture 600 year old talking genie? Riiiigggghhhhtttt. Anyhow; he wants to look like and becomes magical Sonic. He raids the freezer fridge and gets a ice beak for his trouble. He stands on the counter next to the $ mixer and then uses his poor ESP skills to deduce that it's a rug beater. Actually; that is closer than the genie would ever like to know. Huey corrects him as the genie takes a whisk and does some sword play with it. Sadly; his foot gets caught on the button as the whisks turn on and the genie gets caught in the other whisk. New warning label: Keep out of reach of small children and 600 year old genies. Whirlwind spot ensues and Louie unplugs it before it becomes too stupid to rant on.

Genie goes through the door and into the next room as the nephews follow him. The kids notice genie's voice talking about how Las Vegas being awesome because Ceasar moved his palace there as we go into Scrooge's reading room where the genie is reading a book on a stack of books. Sadly; Al Khan resigned from 4Kids so the joke is dead as a door nail. He's the ultimate speed reader I see as he is catching up to 1990. For most people these days; that spot make them look really bad. Genie speeds on the books to get to ground level and revolves around Scrooge's globe. Genie asks if it's Cinderella's ball (How did he know about that?) and Huey calls it a globe of the earth and genie blows him off before spinning backwards. Genie is surprised because he thought the earth was flat. So he is a flat earther? Oh; man he's already gone. Lucky; he is going to read about it to make sure anyway. Genie tries to leave; but Huey grabs him because he wants the wishes now. Wow; this was getting good until Huey had to go the cheap route. Genie blows him off as Louie claims that they are not fooled. Considering that genie looks like a kid; I think the nephews have been duped. Dewey forces the point and Webby some more as it's three wishes per master. Which means 12 different wishes among four masters; 15 if you count Scrooge; 18 if you count Mrs. Beakly. I don't think Duckworth wants anything right now; so he's out of luck.

Genie decides to give in swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (darn. Really? It's a movie guys; you can slip in a damn once in a while even in Disney movies) as he snaps his fingers. The kids surround him; and genie wants his space as he explains DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) of using the lamp. Dewey grabs the lamp and calls it user friendly; but Louie steals it because he wants the first wish. Louie wants to wish for a billion wishes; but genie blows it off. I see he's smarter than he looks. Huey wants to wish for peace and happiness; but that counts as a miracle, not a wish. So Webby grabs the lamp and wants to wish for a pet which genie approves. Russi Taylor is doing a great job acting in this movie with the kids which is nice to see; although it's not as awesome as seeing excellent work done on television with Ginny McSwain and TaleSpin later on in 1990. She rubs the lamp and wishes for a baby elephant. Huh? Seventeen million different pets and she chooses a zoo animal. Genie pleads for mercy; but his magic already screwing with him so he has no choice but to use his magical powers to create a baby elephant for Webby. And it has a pink bow and a leash; how cute! Genie blows her off and Webby proclaims that it's cute. HAHA! Genie also calls it big. Pfft. You never seen Tootise. She's as fat as her. THUMP! OUCH! Ummmmm..... See; the bigger the wish; the bigger the trouble according to Genie. You better hope Scrooge never gets control of the lamp; or that baby elephant is going to be peanuts in comparison.

Louie proclaims that he has a point (and so do I) because then everyone will be after him; the wishes get out of control and it's another one thousand years stuck in the lamp. Genie pleads for them to make small wishes instead (which is a good idea) as we hear Mrs. Beakly in the background humming. Genie somehow gets smaller than the nephews (neat trick) as one of the nephews wants to hide the elephant as Dewey gleefully answers that one for me. Mrs. Beakly walks in backwards with the RIC FLAIR BROOMSTICK OF DOOM sweeping up the place and bumps her ass against the baby elephant. I betcha Mrs. Beakly turns around; sees it; screams and then faints dead away. I check the Youtube video.....She runs away and so does the elephant in a panic. Close enough. The elephant climbs onto the globe as genie swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (oh shaboozies!) as he's in trouble already. No? Really? Dewey goes to the window and notices the limo Duckworth is driving has arrived in the driveway. We then cut to outside as Mrs. Beakly runs out the door as Scrooge is already out of the limo. Mrs. Beakly screams pink elephant and I see the Dumbo wine has taken it's effects. POW! POW! POW! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Ummmm..... Mrs. Beakly grabs Scrooge and they go inside as Webby struggle to get the elephant under control; but the elephant keeps destroying the book shelf.

Huey and Louie fumble over the lamp which is kind of stupid since all they have to do is unwish Webby's wish as the genie wants someone to stop the wish. So Huey grabs the lamp and rubs it proclaiming that he wishes Webby never made that stupid wish and the elephant is gone and all the damage is reversed as if nothing had happened. Well played my sexist nephew! Then all the kids take genie and hide in the love seat just as Mrs. Beakly and Scrooge arrive in the reading room and there is nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Scrooge accuses Mrs. Beakly of trying to get vacation time; but Mrs. Beakly proclaims that it was here; honest! She replaces some books and then stops and asks if Scrooge thinks she's crazy. Scrooge is about to answer here; but then notices the loveseat sliding out of the room. Damn; it almost worked too. We then cut to the nephews' room as everyone runs in and slams the door behind them and then barricades the door. The nephews think they have been spotted. No? Really? Dewey wants genie back in the lamp; but genie pleads for him not to and offers a mad house and a house of pancakes. So Huey opens the closet and genie hides in the closet. I am NOT going to crack the obvious joke here; it's too easy.

The kids run to the far wall near the closet (not very smart there guys) as Scrooge storms in as the kids greet him in a condescending matter (not very smart there kids). Scrooge is not buying what they are selling and wants answers on what trick they played on Mrs. Beakly. The nephews goldbrick along with Webby which is funny considering that they are actually telling the truth this time since they didn't intend to play mind games to begin with. I doubt Scrooge will buy that bill of goods. Scrooge demands to know what is going on and the kids lie; but genie screws himself as his foot is on the conveniently placed skateboard and it slides causing him to pratfall on his face doing a roll in the process and yell. Scrooge opens the closet door and it's genie dressed up as a nephew with a yellow red cap. That's bad continuity guys. If they wanted to create a fourth nephew; dress him in a yellow shirt and cap and call him Yelldee. Oh and don't have him wear sneakers. Anyhow; lots of gee's ensue as Scrooge is flustered as Huey explains that he's a guest who wants to spend the night and sleepover so sezs Scrooge. The nephew plead for it as it's all Junior Woodchuck's honor as they put their hats on from the hat rack and salute which genie screws up of course. So Huey kicks Genie's ass and he corrects himself. Scrooge decides to give in as long as they stay out of trouble since he's in no mood for mischief. He walks out and closes the door.

So we logically get a far sky shot of Scrooge's house and pan into the sky as Dewey is flying a hand glider. He almost clips a tree with his leg though as we slowly cut to Webby sitting on a lawn chair as there are toys and stuff all around. We then pan east to see Louie bouncing on the trampoline as Huey wonders what next to wish for. Well; Huey already has wasted one wish, Webby has wasted one wish, and I'm guessing Dewey has wasted one wish so either they have no wishes left or they have 12 wishes left. Louie wants a speedboat which we see a toy train come in and Genie blows it off because there's no ocean. Huey realizes that he has a point and then has a wish in mind as he rubs the lamp and wishes for...wait for it...the world's largest ice cream sundae; but not too big. So the wish is granted as it is BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as the ice cream falls from the heavens and lands into the chocolate inflatable pool set. Sadly; for Huey, the cherry smashes right on his pinhead. HAHA! Genie checks the wind and he didn't take that into consideration. HAHA! That ends the segment at 28:05.

After the Youtube break; we cut to the chocolate sundae as Webby is hungry as Dewey mentions missing dinner. The kids ponder over going back home (at least Louie did) before finally blowing off and eating the tube sundae. So we go to Scrooge's mansion AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) and then inside as Scrooge is pacing in the front hall, Mrs. Beakly is worried and Duckworth is doing absolutely nothing. She asks if she wants to call the police; and Scrooge agrees....to hold him back when those rascals return. They are grounded for a month (only a month Scroogie?) as the kids are looking out the open gated window as Genie invokes the SPELL OF IMPLIED DRUNKNESS and Scrooge goes all punch drunk right when the kids enter the house. Mrs. Beakly proclaims that Scrooge has something to say to them as Scrooge teases the spell not working and then embraces them and wants to give them cookies and milk. And ice cream too. The kids refuse the request since they are full and sleepy. Scrooge proclaims that it's past their bedtime as the kids wave good night and walk up the stairs. Duckworth gleefully answers that one for me as Scrooge realizes that he has duped himself. HEE HEE! That's telling them indeed.

So we head to the nephew's room as the nephews put on their night gear giving us a chance to see Louie totally naked. That officially makes it only the second time a child has been butt naked in DTVA next to Cubbi from Gummi Bears. And then Huey strips naked to become #3. Genie is more interested in becoming a boy as he yawns and sleeps on the top bunk bed. Huey asks about the number of wishes left and there is only two left; Louie's last wish and Webby's last wish. We get a front window shot and he comes the shadow of Merbird as genie sees the shadow and turns smaller than a fist and hides in Louie's nightcap panicking like mad. Oh wait; we find out that it's only an owl on the perch as Huey gleefully points out. Genie pops out and turns to normal as they exchange notes on Merlock. See; his first wish was to live forever. OUCH! Calli Baba is stupid. All he had to do to defeat Merlock was to unwish Merlock's immortality wish like the baby elephant did. Actually; I believe that will be the finish too. Genie is in tear taking a goldfish bowl talking about Atlantis as he couldn't get reservations (this is one modern talking genie) and he wished for it to sink and Mount Vonsuvis blew it's top because Merlock also did as Genie sits in a chair and blows his beak with the tissues. The nephews think that Merlock has wasted his wishes; but Genie uses some magic to show the green sun tailsman as Merlock has unlimited wishes if he can combine the lamp with the green sun tailsman. This is why he is jumpy as Louie asks if he can wish for the tailsman and Genie calls it impossible. The nephews assure him that he has nothing to worry about as long as they are with him and thus we fade to black to turn Michael Eisner on again....

And so we get a slow pan shot of the property of Scrooge McDuck as we zoom into a nest of birds together and then they notice Merbird and Dijon flying in complete with the evil music of doom. Dijon wants him to drop himself anywhere so Merbird drops him into the rose bushes. HAHA! Merbird lands on the ground and does the green ring transform back to Merlock. I see Sunwoo has not cleared the budget limits on that one. Merlock looks from the bushes towards the house and asks if this is where Scrooge lives and Dijon unthorns himself claiming that it is. Merlock wants him to sneak in; but Dijon no sells because if Scrooge finds out; he will kill him (death reference #1 for the episode 32 minutes in). So Merlock backhands him right into the rose bushes with a good bump as Merlock tells him to stay behind. He'll try to remember him at award time as he transforms into a rat. HAHA! See; make the joke and then pay it off. So we practice the fine art of not being seen by Merodent as we hear the kids playing cops and robbers inside.

Genie is playing the robber of course in the hallway and he might as well be a duck version of a Beagle Boy. We see the nephews in their mini police cart (with Huey wearing a police helmet instead of the police hats) as they chase after Gene (who looks like the male version of Gosalyn Mallard I should point out) and Gene tries the getaway carpet. HAHA! Yeah; that getaway worked real well Gene; sure. Huey and Louie easily grab him as we see Webby near an open door with the world's smallest dinner bell. See; it's tea time as Dewey blows her off because they have official police business here. Webby claims that there is someone who want to play tea party with her. Webby winks at Gene (who has the mask off now) and grabs Gene's arm as he is forced into Webby's room.

We then get a closeup shot of the letter slot as it opens and in comes Merodent squeezing and plopping inside. Merodent practices the fine art of not being seen as Scrooge no sells going to the ball. Duckworth pleads to reconsider since he already made plans for Launchpad to fly him there as the door slams open from the foot of the stairs and Scrooge storms off blowing Duckworth off. Like I'm buying that Scrooge doesn't want to go to the ball because he didn't find the treasure. We ALL know why he doesn't want to go....WINK! WINK! NUDGE! NUDGE! Hint: He wants to save face and his life too as Duckworth follows him with the suit as we zoom in on the top of the stairs with Merodent looking behind the top stair railing. Sadly; Mrs. Beakly notices Merodent running around as Merodent stalks around the hallway for a while. He then hears Webby's giggle as we head inside Webby's toy stuffed room as Gene sits down at the table enjoying himself. When a 600 year old kid genie likes having a tea party; you know the nephews need enlightenment and fast. Genie puts a pink feather on his cap and climbs onto the bed pillar as he hyper-references the Boston Tea Party and Webby giggles him off for it. Wow; this movie has made Russi Taylor sound awesome. It's like she's a six year old now.

We see Merodent rubbing his paws in an evil manner; ready to strike inside, but here comes Mrs. Beakly with the RIC FLAIR BROOMSTICK OF DOOM and since this is 1990; it's still awesome. Merodent gets nailed (with the funniest splash of lime green paint for impact. Wow; the budget is running out special effects wise) and he bounces into the wall with a decent bump. Merodent recovers as Mrs. Beakly hates rats. I'm guessing literally here as Merodent gets whacked again and lands with a wussy bump on the chair. Well; it took almost 35 minutes for Sunwoo to do that. Then he bounces into the green curtains and hangs on. He hides behind the curtains as we cut back to the tea party as Webby pretends to pour out tea from the lamp. She then takes a small sip from the empty cup and talks to her Quackypatch doll. Gene is not amused as he blows it all off because there's no action. See all of Webby's stuffed animals are lifeless. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Webby proclaims that there is a way for her animals to enjoy the party as she brings out the lamp as Genie panics. Webby rubs the lamp and wishes that all her dolls and stuffed animals were alive. She clearly has no context in what is a small wish eh?

Gene drops his cup and tries to resist; but it's no dice as the wish is granted and all the stuffed dolls come alive as Webby is loving this. Gene gets his ass bumped by a stuffed gorilla (real subtle there Disney) as a tiger growls in front of him. Gene offers a platter of cookies and that is met with all the animals blitzing Gene and it's the FCC FRIENDLY FIGHT OF DEATH in which Webby scolds. Yeah; like a bunch of wild stuff animals are going to take Webby seriously; suuuurrrreeee. Gene is on the table as the toys all open the door and let themselves out. Heh. So we cut back to the hallway as Mrs. Beakly is cleaning underneath the lamp table as the books fly for no real reason. See; she hates rats more than elephants. Mrs. Beakly backs up and stalks Merodent trying to goad it out. Then she looks inbetween her legs and we see the toys chasing after her. At least in theory. She screams upside down; drops on her ass which would have broken her neck and back in any sane universe other than this one and runs away complete with Hanna Barbara looping and running sound effect. Now you know you are watching a classic! She slides down the stairs as the toys chase her. Gene and Webby run out as Gene demands that she unwish the wish; but Webby cannot because that was her last wish. D'OH! Then the tiger runs out and then notices the green curtains where Merodent is. Merodent pops from underneath the curtain and Merodent is seriously (insert swear word here). Merodent manages to get down the steps as the curtain gets pulled down on the tiger and a duck toy quacks in the hallway. Whatever you say sir.

So we head inside Scrooge's secondary office as Duckworth is on the phone and Scrooge is doing some accounting at his desk. Duckworth proclaims that Launchpad isn't answering and thus is already on his way. BOO YAH! No one tries to screw Mr. Fatalism out of this movie as we see the duck wheels close the door in front of it. It nails the hat rack and Scrooge's hat falls on top of it. Scrooge walks up and tries to grab his hat off the hat rack (telling Duckworth that he's going to the ball in his place natch) and grabs nothing but air. Scrooge is surprised and then notices the hat on the ground. Scrooge tries to grab it; but the duck wheels away and lands behind Scrooge's rear end. So we play stalk the magic hat for a while and Scrooge fails at it. I see he has the same problems Kit had in Destiny Rides Again. Scrooge decides to ignore it and whistle and manages to jump in and grab the hat. Sadly for him; the hat rides Scrooge. HAHA! So we ride down the steps; around the office; up the stairs, out of the office and bump into the walls into the hallway as we pan over to the window as Dijon has finally decided to show up. Dijon checks around and then opens the window. This ends the segment at 37:29. Okay; the segmental Youtube version ends here so I'll be running a full length video with no breaks from here on out.

After the Youtube break; we see Dijon calling out for his master and the bouncing horse bounce causing Dijon to slam the window on his nose. Dijon sells his nose as Scrooge gets bounced down the steps by magical hat (I guess he went up the stairs after all despite not apparent at first. I'm guessing logic break by Sunwoo) with bad bumps abound as the gorilla plays on the chandlier and all hell breaks loose, living toys style. A fairy get behind Scrooge and whacks him with the magical wand complete with bell sound effect. Scrooge demands answers to this outrage as the tiger runs over Scrooge while chasing Merodent. Dijon watches on as Merodent gets bounced into horse and gets eaten by tiger. Dijon sells it as if he looks like he wants to throw up. Tiger looks proud of himself; but he's standing in front of the conviently placed door and it slams open as open tiger knows how Kit felt in Plunder and Lightning Part Three. In comes the BAD KIDS' MOVIE POLICE~! No, not really. Huey is wearing a robber mask for no real reason I can think of at the moment as they ram into the room and see the chaos as they are shocked and appalled. Webby has the lamp with Gene as the nephews want to know what she did this time and Webby hands Louie the lamp to make it all stop. Louie whines about because he has only one wish left; but since Scrooge is around, Huey realizes that the jig is up and Louie rubs the lamp and makes his wish to return everything back to normal. Gene turns to Genie and invokes the magic spell and everything undoes itself as the damage is reversed and the stuffed animal all drop dead. Sadly; Merodent is still in tiger's stomach.

Dijon gulps as Scrooge swears in DUBBED SCOTTISH STYLE because Gene is really a genie. No? Really? Mrs. Beakly arrives from the closet (probably the same one Duckworth often hides in. POW! OUCH! Ummm..) wondering about his mother. The nephews wanted to tell him; but only someday as Scrooge asks where Genie came from and Webby admits that it's from the lamp. Scrooge is giddy beyond belief because now he can have everyone's fortune as his eyes flash golden dollar signs. Oh lord; we do NOT need another Luck'O'The Ducks flashback. Seriously; we don't. And this movie has been chugging along smoothly too. Scrooge goes crazy over diamonds and diamond mines as he jumps up onto the top of the railing and then slides down and lands on his ass on the floor. Scrooge then calmly admits that this will take some time and thought. So we scene change outside Scrooge's house near the launchpad as Launchpad finally arrives with the helicopter nearly 38 and a half minutes in. HA! I knew the writers couldn't keep LP out of this movie for long.

LP beeps the helicopter as Duckworth looks out the window proclaiming that his ride is here. Scrooge blows him off because he wouldn't miss this party now that he has the lamp. He then finally has the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and he rubs the lamp and wishes for the treasure of Calli Baba as Genie goes all Shaboozie on us as the treasure of Calli Baba materializes right over the tiger and squashes Merodent flat. HA! Scrooge goes over and looks at an emerald and dresses up with jewelry to boot. He gets all evil about teaching those old fossils at the society for laughing at him as he orders Genie back in the lamp (since he is evidence see) as Genie no sells and wants Scrooge to have a heart. What heart Genie? The nephews plead for mercy and Scrooge wants none of it because Genie is not a friend; he is something something as Scrooge stammers like a vile idiot. The kids do not like this as Scrooge opens the lip of the lamp and Genie shakes hands with the nephews and says his goodbyes to them. The Genie whisks into the lamp and Scrooge walks out of the house as the kids plead for him not to take them as they follow along with Mrs. Beakly and Duckworth.

Meanwhile; Dijon opens the window (why bother since everyone is out of the house) and goes inside and practices the fine art of not being seen. He finds the treasure pile of Calli Baba and morns for Merlock which is stupid since Merlock is immortal. Yeah; Dijon is an idiot, what a surprise? Dijon then acts all greedy and decides to take some of the treasure in his hat which is the precise moment Merlock transforms back and pops up from the carnage demanding to know where the lamp is. Dijon proclaims that Scrooge has it.... So we logically head outside as the helicopter flies into the sky and Merbird carries Dijon by his shoulders into the air after him and since we fade to black here; we end the segment exactly 40 minutes in. Yeah; the movie is slowly getting worse although the drop in animation quality is more obvious than the storyline.

So we return as we head to a snowy forest with mountains in the background as the helicopter has already landed and Launchpad is tending to it. We pan west to the resort and then inside as Genie is channeling the powers of Brian from the A&W commercials. IT'S A PARTY! (shut off the valve) EVERYONE'S INVITED! (shut off the valve) BRING YOUR KIDS! (Shut off the valve! Like that...) FARRRRRRRTTTTTTTT! We cut to Scrooge with the lamp near a tree plant as Genie pleads to be let out of the lamp because there's a party. Scrooge blows him off as Genie promises to keep quiet if he is let out of the lamp. Scrooge decides to let him out as he puts the lamp underneath his shirt as Genie gets small and climbs into his pocket. Scrooge grabs him (because Genie likes two single men going for a party which is silly considering that Genie acts like a 12 year old boy) and puts him into the tree plant threatening to put him into the lamp again if he peeps. Genie complains about not winning the door prize as we cut to outside as Merbird arrives with Dijon and Dijon gets planted in the snow of course just as Merbird lands. Merbird transforms into Merlock again as Dijon pops from the snow wanting to take the bus back. Merlock blows him off of course as Dijon is ordered to take the rear entrance while Merlock takes the front. Oh and Merlock does the cut throat signal to force the point that if Scrooge passes him this time; it's out of Dijon's hide as we fade to black again. Man; I'm starting to believe that this was originally designed to be a television movie.

So we head back into the dinner hall as a waiter duck gives sodas for the captain bird and the duck sailor bird as Genie steals a cup of soda to go along with his pretzels, chips and cookies. Genie slurps as he calls this Genie party of one and then pops his head out of the tree and wipes his bill on Merlock's cape. Ooooooo.... Genie gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and panics. No really; I'm as SHOCKED as you are. He looks up and wants to warn Scrooge as we cut to Dijon taking the back door and opens it. He then practices the fine art of not being seen as we see the conveniently placed table lined with a white cloth and fine silverware everywhere. I see Dijon has a fetish for shiny silver things methinks. And no surprise he does some cartoon stealing to amuse me as we head to the hall away and a shot of the stage as a dogsperson with gray hair and a suit is at the podium addressing the audience. It's the standard Ducktales species guide: ducks, birds, dogspeople and one pig (Lady Lardo I bet judging by the hair) as the announcer proclaims that it's time for Scrooge to take the stage as Scrooge does so. Genie panics and turns into normal kid and runs in just as Scrooge is about to say that for 40 years that he brought to Duckberg the treasure of Calli Baba as Merlock shoves through. I see the usual guys from The Status Seekers are here; and Cinnamon Teal from Spies In Their Eyes even makes a cameo! Scrooge tries to tell them about the treasure; but gets his leg yanked off-stage by Genie. Merlock shoves through the audience as Genie and Scrooge are behind the curtains with Genie yanking Scrooge's foot. Genie explains that his old master is here and Scrooge realizes that it's the back-stabber Dijon used earlier. Scrooge wants to kick his ass; so Genie yanks Scrooge away with his cane because Merlock can destroy him. And so the chase is on BABEE!

They run up the stage of the resort hallway as Merlock chases after them. Then they run into the hallway and pick a room and slam the door behind them. Genie panics as Scrooge calls him a loon. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Scrooge tries to open the door; but Genie shoves a heavy desk off-screen to barricade the door. That slams the door shut and Merlock is not amused. He looks around as Genie shoves every international object at the door to barricade it some more as Scrooge blows him off for being so paranoid. Genie pleads for Scrooge to make a wish to get the hell out of here; but Scrooge no sells because the wishes are important. Genie asks about wishes or his life and that is not a trick question as Merlock is pissed off as he bashes the door and apparently turns into Merbear. Oh joy! Scrooge thinks he has a bear; which Genie gleefully answers that one for me. Genie pleads again; but Scrooge no sells because they stand their ground. Of course Merbear destroys the door so Genie throws the lamp up into the chandelier and then jumps into the air towards it and in a blue Wii light disappears into the lamp.

Merbear enters the room and destroys it; DUH! Then in comes Dijon with parachute silverware pants! HAHA! Merbear transforms back as Dijon claims that it's not his fault. Like he's going to buy that one considering that you have two sacks of silverware right in front of you Dijon. And Dijon has magically lost his pants again. Dijon claims that it's not Merlock's fault either (too late goofball) as Merlock orders him to search inside as Merlock transforms into Merbird and flies out the window to hunt them down. Dijon steals a bowl and then runs out as we pan up to the chandelier and the lamp. Genie talks about the lamp not being the Ritz and he'll get use to it after a hundred years. And now Scrooge is pissed as Genie and Scrooge manage to get out of the lamp to the floor. Genie kicks a wastepaper basket on his foot for good measure. Genie blows him off for yelling at him and Scrooge blows him off because Merlock is after Genie. Genie invokes the Gruffi pose claiming that he it's always blame the genie as he goes to the window. See; the Genie didn't do anything wrong because he has been used and abused. All he wants is to be a normal kid like the nephews and have about 30 different things as Scrooge blows him off and gets the picture. Oh man; they had a good pathos spot going and Scrooge had to ruin it! I'm sorry; but it doesn't work here. See; this is why I stand by my assertion that Plunder and Lightning should have been the cinematic movie for Disney Movietoons: Even in television form; the pathos scenes in P&L were pulled off well and Kit and Molly sounded like real kids. I cannot take Genie seriously because he's basically a comedy character voiced by Rip Taylor. It doesn't have the same effect and while this works on television; it doesn't scream “Walt Disney Movie”; it screams “DTVA television pilot” and it's in the wrong format. And Genie only made Scrooge more pissed off as a result.

Anyhow; Genie notices Merbird flying back again and panics. Scrooge proclaims that he will be safe in Scrooge's vault and orders Genie back into the lamp as the party is over. Genie goldbricks for a bit; but then decides to get into the lamp anyway. So we see Scrooge walk out into the hallway as Dijon appears in the far side of the hallway. Scrooge thinks it's clear as he runs around the bend and crashes into the rolling tray with a MAN-SIZED bump. Oh man; did we really need Scrooge to be that stupid to take such a pointless bump like that? Dijon runs in with his parachute silverware pants as Scrooge recovers quickly and apparently seems to grab the lamp; but the lamp stays on the ground. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? We saw him grab the lamp and then it somehow teleports onto the ground. Bad, bad logic break there guys. Dijon then trips onto the tray and does a sicker MAN-SIZED bump with his groin. OUCH! Now that was a quality bump there guys! Dijon sees Scrooge running away and groans; but then hears Genie yelling for Scrooge inside the lamp. Seriously; they did that bump just to advance the plot like that? Dijon grabs the lamp looking quite giddy and shakes the lamp wanting Genie to come out. He rubs the lamp and out comes Genie as Dijon cheers for victory and mentions Merlock. Dijon goes to the window; but Genie stops him and asks him why he should give Merlock the lamp. Dijon claims that his master will get the lamp which Genie proclaims that when he has the lamp; Dijon will be his master. Genie bows to his new master thus signaling Genie's heel turn which would have worked better if the Genie wasn't a tweener to begin with. Dijon likes the sound of Master Dijon. He should have his last name as Mustard; just for a laugh and an anime reference.

We then cut outside as Scrooge runs to Launchpad and the helicopter as Merbird is chasing him now. Launchpad and Scrooge get into the helicopter as Launchpad calls this a dull party. If only LP, if only. Scrooge pleads for LP to get him the hell out of here. So Merbird transforms into Merpanther (this is starting to write itself now) and drops onto the snowy ground below. The helicopter flies into the sky and Mercat cannot reach it anyway. Now how dumb is that guys! He has a perfectly fine form in Merbird; so he turns into useless Merpanther and fails at life just as I predicted it. So Merpanther chases the helicopter; then suddenly realizes what an idiot he is and turns into Merbird and flies into the sky. So we begin to Duckberg as it has become dark and stormy which is NOT a good sign for Scrooge right off the bat. The helicopter lands about six feet off the ground in front of the vault entrance as Scrooge drops down and tells LP to not bother landing since he wants no fatalism in this movie. Okay; he didn't say that; but it's implied. And of course we enter Scrooge's office and it's filled with riches as Dijon is sitting in Scrooge's desk with Genie pouring tea into a golden goblet on Dijon's request. Dijon grew a brain? Since when? Scrooge slams the doors open and he screams....badly.

Dijon greets Scrooge and looks like a badass in that white turban he is wearing. Scrooge demands answers to this outrage and Dijon proclaims that he was seeking his fortune and Genie swears that he didn't know that Dijon wanted Scrooge's fortune. Scrooge then grabs the OUT OF NOWHERE wooden lamp and it sprays gravy as Dijon shows the real lamp. So that's what Scrooge picked up after the pointless bump? Would have been more convincing if both lamps were in the same picture at the time guys. Anyhow; Dijon pushes a button and Scrooge is escorted out of the Moneybin by two green dogspeople as he is thrown into the Police Paddy Wagon driven by a police officer pig. Scrooge yells like a maniac as he blows off his security guards on the Christmas bonus and then discovers that it's Dijon's symbol replacing the dollar sign on the Moneybin. Scrooge realizes that it's Dijon's fortune now as he sulks as the Paddy Wagon drives away to jail since Scrooge being in jail hasn't been done to death enough times already in Ducktales. We then pan to a No U-Turn sign as Merbird is perched on top of it. Storm clouds clap in the background and we fade to black nearly 49 minutes in.

So we get a sidewalk shot of the police station as it seems to have gain two floors of cells since we last saw it on the north pan shot. It's also raining as we pan up to Scrooge in a lit cell looking out the cell bar window while the two birds shiver in the cold on the edge of the building. Scrooge looks at the Dijon Moneybin in the far background and then sulks as the thunderclaps continue without fail. Oh; and the roof is leaking which tells you the poor standards this jail has as Scrooge jumps onto a bunk cot proclaiming that he was wiped out with one wish and if he ever gets the fortune back; he'll never wish for anything again. Despite the fact that he only wished for one thing and that was Calli Baba's treasure. More like; don't distrust Genie ever again as the raindrops get on Scrooge's glasses and then he wipes them clean as the cell door opens. It's the QUACKEROONIES OF DOOM as we get the usual family embrace and Joan Gerber is clearly overdoing it on the apology part when hugging Scrooge. They all chip in on the bail as Webby shows her piggy bank to force the point. Scrooge proclaims that they will all be compensated when they get back home. So Huey whisper yells to Louie that Scrooge hasn't heard. Scrooge wonders about it as Mrs. Beakly overdoes it again just to annoy me. Do I have to go to this jail and tell her NOT TO REPEAT SPOTS?! See; Dijon owns literally everything and Scrooge is in SHOCK. Scrooge sulks onto the bed cot as Louie wonders if there is a way to sneak into the Moneybin and Scrooge proclaims that there are thousands of alarms and thousands of ways trip them. Scrooge gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and Scrooge walks out because he's going to plan a full scale invasion. You know; if you're going to do something like that; make sure you don't say it out loud since you are in a jail at the POLICE STATION. Bad form there guys. Wait until after you leave jail before announcing your plan. Maybe watch outside the mansion in symbolic fashion. Very sloppy work guys.

So we see the birds flying as the rain stops. We head to the Dijon Mustard Moneybin of Doom. We head inside Dijon's office as Genie looks out the window as Dijon prepares something on his ancient dutch oven and flame underneath. See; everyone tastes beautiful when you're rich. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there Dijon. Also he gets off the first Golly of the movie after 51 and a half minutes of golly free action. Dijon smells his cape for good measure. Genie wants to bird watch instead as Dijon pours soups to a bowl from the ladle and tells Genie not to worry about Merlock. Dijon goes to the window proclaiming that he doesn't know him away as we head to a shot of the window and then we pan up to see Merbird on the roof of the Moneybin. Merbird flies around the vault as we go to the far shot of him in shadow flying around and then lands on the edge of the building and stumbles. He balances himself by transforming into a cockroach. Oh man; that brings Meroach down about three notches on the dignity scale. We then cut to the skies as we see a green plane flying in the clouds. Wait; have we changed to a part where Disney decided to have TaleSpin be a....Oh wait; it's Launchpad flying the plane. My mistake as usual. We zoom in and then cut to the cockpit as Launchpad is flying at 12 o'clock high. They are at destination give or take ten minutes (I don't doubt that LP) as Duckworth prepares Scrooge with the parachute.

Scrooge calls the nephews from the transmitter as we cut to operation lift the lamp as we zoom into the bushes behind the Dijon Mustard Moneybin with Huey popping up with the transmitter wearing leaves on an army hat. Dewey pointlessly talks into the transmitter as we pan over to Mrs. Beakly using the telescope stick of doom as she doesn't think she sees anything. That's really reassuring madam as the nephews and Webby sneak in and they are wearing leaves on their torso. We cut back to the helicopter as the door opens and Scrooge jumps out of the helicopter and opens his parachute. I'm sorry; but as much as I respect Scrooge here, all the coolness of this spot was taken out when Kit Cloudkicker could pull it off without a parachute.

Scrooge hovers down near the Dijon Mustard Moneybin as Meroach digs and fails at that to the window. He notices the kids sneaking towards the door. Dewey jumps for joy as he manages to enter the password CASH on the console and the lights flash dollar signs. Something tells me Dijon Mustard didn't wish for Genie to change the password on that thing. I wish he did; it would have been funny if the password was mustard. Everyone enters inside including Mercock. POW! OUCH! Ummm...I mean Meroach. We see the kids inside in front of the checkered floor hallway as Huey tells the kids to step only on the white titles. It's Security Checkers and one wrong step means certain death. Okay; maybe not death, but certain doom. Close enough eh? The kids step on the white titles and thankfully, Sunwoo doesn't break logic here as we pan west to see Meroach salivating. We cut back to outside as Scrooge lands on top of the top after dodging the Dijon Mustard symbol on the top. I told you Scrooge likes yellow mustard; since in Nightflight's doublespeak, it matches the yellow streak down his back. POW! OUCH! Ummmmm.... And then the back winds screw him good as Scrooge is forced to use the cane to prevent him from free falling over the edge. Scrooge is wearing a Scottish hat for goodness knows what reason.

He is on the transmitter again as they report their positions. The kids make it to the vent which is conveniently over a white title as the duck chain ladder spot ensues. The vent is open and Webby is small enough to get inside; although there are spiders and cobwebs everywhere which is a ode to Microducks from Outer Space. The one where she infamously said that this adventure is going to ruin her dress. Damn; I wished she said that in this one too; just for me to mock. The nephews jump on white titles as Webby opens the door and the nephews all go inside as they make it to the control panel and it's filled with laser trips. So Louie follows Scrooge's directions as he is nearly at the point of going five steps and the laser zaps the paper in half. Damn as Louie dodges lasers and gets zapped right into the nephews backwards which defies all sense and logic. So the nephews ask what to do now and the nephews bring out their slingshots and slingshot marbles into the electrical box and that disables the alarm easily. Geez; why didn't they just do that from the start? Unless the writers are implying that Louie is a sadist like me. Meroach panics throughout the whole ordeal. The nephews inform Scrooge that everything is fine now as Meroach flies away stage right.

So we cut to Scrooge breaking and entering (I know this is supposed to be his Moneybin; but storyline rules state that it's Dijon's until Scrooge gets the lamp back so....) using the cane which breaks the doors off it's wooden hinges. Geez; that is like Scrooge to be so cheap. That explains the complex alarm system then. Scrooge is in what looks to be a basement despite being on the top floor near an elevator shaft. We go up the shaft (EWWWWWWW! Nonsense is so gross!) and into the main floor as Meroach flies around and into the most expensive looking elevator in the world. He tries to push the blue circle button; but no dice. Then he attempts it again twice in roach form and taking sicker bumps in the process giving Scrooge time to climb down the elevator cables. Ummmm; just transform into Merlock you dumbass. More climbing from Scrooge as he opens the elevator door (with the cane of course) and he thinks he's won which gives Meroach the chance to actually push the blue button flush this time. Scrooge tries to get in; but no dice as the cables raise him up and Scrooge gets sandwiched in the process.

The elevator door opens and Meroach flies into Dijon's office as Scrooge opens the elevator top door (after unpopping from his dumb Flint hat) and climbs down allowing him to drop on his wallet inside. Scrooge rubs his bare wallet and runs out of the elevator as we see Meroach panting and Scrooge squashes him flat as a bug. Oh lord; Merlock is getting squashed as a creditable heel now as we see Dijon near the globe as he spins it asking himself which country he wants to go first as he gets his hand stuck in between the globe and the holder. Dijon sells pain as Genie notices Scrooge by the door; so Genie decides to run interference by distracting Dijon while Scrooge grabs the lamp placed in his blue pocket pants. Scrooge sneaks in and uses the cane to snag the lamp. but Meroach flies in and gets onto the lamp; transforms into Merlock and grabs the lamp back. Genie screams like a baby as Dijon drops the teacup in shock and fear. Scrooge tries to get it and he gets thrown into the bookshelf with a good bump. Funny crap past the radar: Scrooge yells to give that back you dirty Whoooooa. Scrooge almost sounded like he called Merlock a whore. Merlock takes his green tailsman and combines it and the lamp together as Genie backs up onto the desk. The nephews can hear screaming on the transmitter in the hallway and they run stage right.

Merlock states the obvious unlimited wishes line again as Dijon pops from the blue carpet and pleads for mercy as he wants Merlock to enjoy his time with Genie. So Merlock grabs him and wishes for Genie to turn Dijon into something more fitting. So Genie turns him into a pig. Okay; that is not only borderline racist; it makes no sense. A more fitting change would be to change him into a jar of Dijon Mustard. Dijon Pig squeals and runs like mad out of the room. Merlock laughs it up and then orders Genie to change the Moneybin into Castle De Cookoo according to Genie. It's a huge fortress as Genie has no choice but to grant the wish outright and all hell breaks loose as Scrooge goes into the vault to save his money; but it turns into coal and spiked vines. The books turn to bats and we head into the staircase as the staircases have a life of their own and Webby almost gets Kennedyized as a result while hanging onto the railing. Walls crumble; staircase breaks into the walls as the whole Moneybin on the far shot turns into the most plant unfriendly castle you can get. Mrs. Beakly swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (oh my heavens) and like the stereotypical female that she is; she faints dead away on her back. The whole sequence ends at the top as the throne room is created and out pops Merlock sitting on his spider like throne. Okay; this whole thing was pretty cool; silly animation from the kids notwithstanding. Merlock laughs like mad as we see the nephews on a perch somewhere near the stairs and then pan over to Genie on the floor as Scrooge looks at the ground below if there is still one left. Genie apologizes to Scrooge for that.

Of course Merlock isn't happy with just a badass castle; so he wishes to go home in his new home. Genie whines about it of course but he has no choice as he waves his magic into the air and we get more rumbling. So the castle uproots itself from the foundation and rises into the air as a vulture with a cake looks on in the far shot. And of course Mrs. Beakly gets up just in time to faint dead away again. I'm sure that got over with the already cynical jaded feminist crowd. That was sarcasm of course. Scrooge walks over and blows off Merlock for being a maniac and demands that his property return to him. Genie calls this a bad move and tries to plead to Merlock to show some mercy because he is having a lousy day. That's the understatement of the movie there kid. Merlock no sells of course as he orders Genie to cast Scrooge out of his house. Genie tries to resist much to the horror of the kids; but the wish overcomes Genie and even Scrooge understands as the spell is cast and Scrooge gets whirl-winded towards the edge. Scrooge manages to use his cane to grab onto the vine as he is dangling over the edge and the castle is in space just over the clouds; but under the final layer where they cannot get oxygen.

So Huey uses the slingshot and and the red marble knocks the lamp right out of his hands. Webby calls it a good shot. The lamp goes bouncing and falls on the floor as Merlock dives to get it; but Huey bops Merlock on the nose and grabs to and throws it to Louie. Louie yells for Scrooge to get it as he throws it and Louie slightly overshoots Scrooge as Scrooge lets go of the edge and both freefall. Wow; just wow. Merlock grabs his green medallion which makes zero sense since I don't recall it dislodging from the lamp to begin with. Merlock transforms into Mergyphon and threatens to return to get them and flies away as Genie follows him by grabbing his tail. Which is good for Merlock because then he can get the lamp back and Genie is closer to him when he makes the wish. The free falling continues as Mergyphon doubles down on the stupidity by flicking Genie off his tail. Idiot! He's your wish maker. That is not very smart of you. Scrooge does some air swimming (gravity has taken a vacation in this movie I see); but Mergyphon grabs the lamp back. Mergyphon flies back; as Scrooge turns his coat into a puffer and somehow manages to teleport right on Mergyphon's back. WHAT THE HELL? We do the DUCK FIGHT OF DOOM (which is somehow sillier than a cat fight) and Scrooge manages to knock the tailsman out of Merlock's hand as he transforms back.

The lamp drops in the chaos as Scrooge dives for it and uses the cane to grab it. Genie conveniently floats over telling Scrooge that he needs to make a wish; so Scrooge wishes for the family, themselves and the Moneybin were in Duckberg where it belongs right now. Needless to say; the wish is granted as everyone disappears from their original positions and the Moneybin lands right in it's original spot and the storm clouds clear up and it's a sunny day. SYMBOLISM BABEE! As for Merlock; he free falls and while he don't see him dead; Cinema 101 sezs he's dead since we NEVER see him again after this. Since the tailsman is gone; this furthers my evidence. And the $ symbol on the Moneybin is back on again thus undoing Dijon's wish to boot. Wow; that was one overbearing wish there. The kids look out and see that the world of Duckberg is right again. Scrooge looks in the vault and all his money is safe and sound as he walks back out. We then zoom into the CHEST OF DEMONS as Dijon Pig pops from the carnage.

Huey gives Scrooge the lamp on the floor and Scrooge has one wish left. Webby sees that look on Scrooge's face because Scrooge knows what he wants. Scrooge is through with this magic stuff and he is going to wish for the lamp to be buried into the center of the earth. The nephews do NOT like this one at all because that would be the end of Genie. The nephews suggest hiding the lamp and dressing Genie like a real boy as Scrooge no sells as he heads to the desk and proclaims to Genie to get ready for Scrooge's last wish....and Genie's too. I think you have a good idea what wish he is going to do now. Scrooge wishes that Genie becomes a real boy as the lamp floats into the air and zaps Genie; as Genie is now the duck version of Kit Cloudkicker with green shorts. I know this because the baseball cap is on like Kit's. Genie hugs himself as he is a real boy. Too bad he still has a middle age voice as the nephews cheer for this. Genie does some boy spots; but decides to do a dog spot and then recoils. HAHA! Scrooge grabs the lamp as Huey asks about it and the lamp crumbles in Scrooge's hands since there is no genie. Even more; the wishes are completely undone as Dijon Pig returns to just goofy Dijon inside the vault. I'm guessing Merlock's immortality is gone too which means he's dead due to being hundreds of years old.

Scrooge walks and Gene (might as well call him that now since he's a real boy) blitzes Scrooge like Dino on speed. He calls Scrooge master and asks how he can repay him. Scrooge blows him off because he's no longer Gene's master. Gene asks if he can call him Uncle Scrooge and Scrooge pulls on his hat. Oh and Gene cannot push his luck either as the nephews asks what he would like to do on his first day as a real boy. Gene ponders and proclaims that they will never catch him as the chase is on again as the boys all run out of the room. Nice trip there sir. Webby asks Scrooge about joining in; but Webby is told to go in alone because he has is own terms of fun as he heads for the vault and tries to dive in; but then turns around and notices that Dijon has teleported behind him with pant sacks of money. HA! Memo to Dijon: Get a REAL sack. Needless to say; you can guess what happens next as Scrooge chases Dijon out of the Moneybin proclaiming to anyone to stop those damn pants. HAHA! Scrooge trips on the CHEST OF DEMON as he wants to change Dijon's face in as we see Dijon and Scrooge run down the street and out of sight. Ducktales opening theme music the remix version starts and that officially ends the movie at 66:28. So yeah; there is over four minutes of credits and music. If this was a television movie; it would be good enough but too many mistakes in the cinema is going to get this picture slapped down hard. Overall; a decent movie, but it is still nowhere near Plunder and Lightning storyline wise. It goes to show you just how hot DTVA was when one month later; P&L ran on Disney Channel and literally blew this movie out of the water. It's probably due to the fact that there were too many logic breaks and the animation got quite loose near the end. Still; all the characters were likable enough (All Genie needed was a real boy's voice); Scrooge wasn't nearly as mean spirited as he was in Luck'O'The Ducks, the voice acting was top notch and the overall pace was solid enough. Like I said; the safe move isn't always the best move. Call it *** ½ (70%).

Errata: I originally thought that Sunwoo worked on this movie; but the credits say otherwise. Mel culpa.

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; after 20 pages we have finally gotten through the Ducktales Movie. I have to say that the movie is pretty decent for the most part. However; it still feels like a three part Ducktales episode than an actual movie like Plunder and Lightning felt storyline wise. I would have liked it more if they would have animated some of the scenes a bit better so that the storyline would make more sense; but overall it isn't too bad. Genie I liked; although he could have been better if he had a real boy's voice. Merlock and Dijon were very good; although Merlock didn't need to turn into a joke villain near the climax of the film. Dijon was Dijon and the only one of the three to return for the Disney Afternoon episodes as he starred in the last two episodes which became a living legend. I'll explain that more in 2012. Scrooge and company were Scrooge and company and there were some good spots including the finish and despite the overbearing apologies from Genie; I felt Scrooge's last wish was the right booking decision; albeit a pointless one.

Overall; a decent movie that bombed because it didn't feel like a movie. If this was put on television; it would have blown away almost anything DTVA had ever done up to this point. I stand by my argument that Plunder and Lightning should have gotten the cinema treatment since the storyline was so top notch and so Disney-equse that it needed the bigger budget. Sure; it would have contradicted Magon's vision of mini-movies and purists would meltdown even more than they already did with TaleSpin. However; (1) TaleSpin was a fresh series that needed the rub and (2) purists already hate Disney for making a parody of the Jungle Book; so why not go all the way with it? Of course; Michael Eisner is a demographics executive and thinks TaleSpin is filler so we didn't get it. Strangely enough; there were plans for more Ducktales movies; but that was nixed for obvious reasons. So the safe move was ultimately a bad investment. Next up for the old DTVA shows is Gummi Bears; but that will happen in July. Right now; it's finishing up Fish Hooks and Kick Buttowski shorts. I'll start with Kick Buttowski since all the shorts are prepped and ready to be ranted on; then do three shorts of Fish Hooks which seems to not be able to first their first season for some reason. So.....

Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.

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