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Water Way To Go

Reviewed: 04/17/2007

Water Way To Rant on Disc Two!

I thought that this episode would be the debut and origin episode of The Liquidator because it would be fitting for the episode title; but it's actually the debut of Steelbeak only. I guess Oil's Well that Flood's Well was too offensive and stupid even for Disney. I don't remember ever enjoying Steelbeak when I watched it in the 1990's and I don't think I'm going to enjoy him here. Then again: FOWL VS. SHUSH never interested me in the least either back then. So let's rant on shall we...

The episode is written by Dev Ross and the story has been edited by Tad Stones in his first non pilot episode role as story editor. Dev Ross has three excellent stories under her belt and I think the streak is going to end here. This is yet another episode produced by Russ Mooney. To think that he used to be an overseas animation supervisor for TaleSpin. This is also the official debut of a new animation studio called Kennedy Cartoons Inc headed by animation director Glen Kennedy..and no he is not related in any way to WWE star Mr. Fudgepacker Kennedy. He actually was an assistant animator to that Canadian TV movie that spawned a Canadian cartoon classic: The Raccoons & The Lost Star.

We begin in the morning in the CITY OF SAINT CANARD at the exciting world of SHUSH headquarters inside J. Gander's office as Vlad explains problems in Oilrabia which has got to be less funny than the Banana Republic joke TaleSpin used in Paradise Lost...and amazing enough; the agent from Oilrabia is dead. AND VLAD MEANS DEAD! Apparently; the body count is increasing to 24 in the last two weeks. Oh great! I don't even need to be reminded of the Virginia Tech school shootings now. Does this mean the Darkwing Duck DVD will have to be recalled? I hope not as my mood for ranting on this episode is going down in flames now. Gander smells MURDER as apparently; it is FOWL behind this. Because in the comic book world of lame superheroes; there is no due process nor detective work. It's always the terrorist group known as FOWL and TaleSpin was the one that got taken off the air on 9/11? I should point out that Gander's dive off the chair in freeze-frame when he says FOWL is too cute not to mention. FOWL is called Fiendish Organization for World Larceny. I guess Fiendish Organization for World Terrorism didn't have the puns to cut it. Gander declares that the SHUSH agents can handle almost anything. Yeah right?! Because that's why you keep Vlad around?

I always thought he was just there to MURDER DARKWING...DUCK. I know that happens later in the series; but those urges to kill rise when Vlad is merely around. Gander goes to the safe behind the picture to safe complete with step ladder. Gander is about Honker's size so it works. He opens the safe and declares that this is a job for: DARKWING...DUCK! Vlad is in mortal fear of that name even though he fails to sell it properly. Gander uses the MINI THUNDERQUACK OF DOOM to call Drake. I guess the spotlight would make Drake go into FULL EGO TRIP MODE. The mini Thunder Quack flies around and causes the top of Vald's head to burst into flames. Now you know this is COMEDY BABY when they do that lame spot. Vlad pats his head because he's a good little dumb Russian stereotype...Oh wait; it's to douse the flames and those hands must be super wet in order to prevent third degree burns on his paws as a result. Maybe Vlad using aqua-type steroids...Hey; I haven't used that joke in two episodes; I need something to amuse me for the crap that is sure to follow...

Anyhow; we head outside to a shot at the headquarters of DARKWING...DUCK! The mini Thunder Quack dives underneath the bridge and head into the hideout of DARKWING...DUCK . We do into a semi dark room as Launchpad is taking a test. We know he's taking a test because he says that he would be doomed if he fails. The test of course: Tic-Tac-Toe. Launchpad thinks he has it; but the DREADED VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckons at 2:39...A new record for that lifeless bimbo of a mallard...

Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the spider that nips at your neck!

Sorry Drake; the spider episode doesn't appear until much later (Disc 3, Episode 23 to be exact!) as LP protests this outrage. This is really sad that Drake's yell is only good for breaking pencils and annoying me to death. LP looks around to find Drake; but Drake appears from above the table wearing a really stupid upside down device to pound fear into villains. Here's a clue Drake: When in doubt, carry a real...Ah forget it! Not in this environment. Drake does his usual EGO MODE TRIP promo while rotating. The rotating part was funnier than the promo and the rotating wasn't funny to begin with. LP wants to try and of course he pushes the red button in the center of his chest. If Drake ever gets a scarlet letter on his chest; it will probably be the letter O in crimson red. Drake screams...badly..and rockets up into the ceiling taking a really good bump in the process. LP apologizes and Drake comes down as his head is parted by a large piece of ceiling. Too funny as Drake blows off LP's suggestion as to why he never gets to use Drake's gadgets. Apparently; they are for heroes only and not sidekicks. Then again; Drake is full of himself and I would say that it's as a result of Drake doesn't want to be put over by LP. He proves it by jumping off the table and acting like a goof. That spot has no heat to it as LP declares that he can be a hero too.

I guess this is one of those gags that results from being rejected for the lead role in TaleSpin; but Drake blows it off because he can do the unthinkable. Even in EGO TRIP MODE 85% of the time is the unthinkable. LP claims that he doesn't have to think and Drake agrees with that in a sarcastic mood. The doorbell rings and the trapdoor opens to reveal the mini Thunder Quack. It does a dog licking spot aka Pluto before it reveal the letter from it's nose. Ewwwww!! Drake grabs it claiming that it is from SHUSH; remembering to use mangled up French just to attempt to appeal to any Frenchmen who live in the US. It doesn't work sadly. Drake claims that SHUSH needs a hero's touch which is fitting since DARKWING... DUCK is more competence than SHUSH any day of the week. Drake he realizes that FOWL is after Oilrabia's oil reserves. Yeah; a Middle East place with a pun of oil, real smart guys. LP doesn't care because Drake is being a CARTOON DUCK with an ego the size of Michael Eisner. Drake puts on his lame Zorro hat and declares that it's time to leave and fight evil. He also demands that LP get the bags. LP doesn't sell because his feelings are hurt.

Oh swell; there goes any hope of sympathy for LP in this episode. LP should reluctantly do what Drake says and then snap on him halfway in the episode to build sympathy heat for LP. That's how Bruce Morris did it in Double or Nothing. Drake wants answers and LP says that he's not good enough to be a hero and Drake should do it alone. Drake begs because LP is useful for something; like flying the Thunder Quack. LP refuses to sell until he becomes a hero. Drake grumble like a little baby and agrees to it. LP slaps him around as he declares victory and leaves Drake to carry the bags. Okay; seeing Drake doing sidekick stuff to deflate his ego is pretty funny, but the failure of buildup is going to turn it into nothing but a comedy act...And it's going to really put a damper on the finish later on.

Anyhow; we head to the SANDBOX OF DOOM which is stiffer than Kuzco doing flips towards high school. Just to note something: The Emperor's New Skool Opening Sequence has got to be the most self-centered, selfish, most ironic and most fitting OP I have ever seen. The second best opening ever next to TaleSpin of course. It really deserves a spot of mention in this rant because this rant is becoming a bore for me. By the way; Oilrabia is a Middle East castle complete with an oil platform to thwart FOWL's attacks. Must be a leftover from TaleSpin after Eisner canceled the series. Drake asks LP to land the Thunder Quack gently and of course he lands it harshly taking a decent bump on the sand and even clips the oil well tower. Sadly; Drake is too busy to complain because we get to see the tent along with two large dogspeople bouncers complete with REGAL CUTLASS's and a duck princess who looks like the duck version of Princess Lotta Lamour. Drake tries to get the girl by saying to LP as he's walking toward her that he should handle this; but LP no sells because Drake promised and says it twice to hammer it home. Oh great! LP acting like a jerk is so..jerky... Drake sulks about taking flying lessons. Too bad Baloo's not from this world to help him as LP takes greeting from Princess Oilrabia.

Drake hears some ticking going on and realizes that he doesn't own a watch. No wonder Drake is so stupid. Drake looks around and realizes that there is a bomb (the typical cartoon bomb with an alarm clock and sticks of dynamite) beside an oil well tower. Drake calls it something that is too complex for me and anyone in Disney's target audience to care as he goes in complete with the goggles, the rubber gloves and the mining hat. His fashion sense is so out of whack that it would be outlawed by the FASHION POLICE OF LAW. He tries to defuse the bomb; but LP stops him from doing so because he's the HERO of this outfit. LP just rips the wires off the bomb and it doesn't EXPLODE! SOMEONE FIRE THAT BOMB! Drake is SHOCKED and SCARED (in that order) as he's holding the bomb. LP walks to the Princess and she even speaks like Lotta Lamour now, only with a stereotypical Middle Eastern accent. Oh lord! TaleSpin looks more PC now that I think about it. She calls LP a true hero which Drake is ticked off now. LP sezs it was nothing and Drake agrees. It was dumb luck as he throws the bomb down and it finally EXPLODES right at close range. Sadly; Drake isn't dead and I guess that bomb is using Ugotium from Citizen Khan. Drake walks around like a goof looking for the non smoking section of a restaurant which bans non-smokers and flops on the sand the same way.

We head to the castle as we see a scene of dogspeople servants in Middle-Eastern clothing giving trays of food for Launchpad and I say they have better taste of body image than most Americans do at this point. The Princess is in the middle talking about the attack on their oil fields while Drake is sitting on the blue star chair sulking to himself, as usual. Normally I would enjoy this; but the buildup for LP is OUT OF NOWHERE since we've never seen LP have ANY signs that he didn't like his work. LP decides to have a turkey sandwich which is somehow offensive for some odd reason. Maybe it's the turkey pun to make fun LP takes out one little olive from the sub and it's enough to squash the turkey flat. That turkey needs some steroids. Drake blows that spot off which is pretty cute. Drake then tries to get the attention of the Princess; but the Princess blows him off because he's just a sidekick. LP is going to lead the expedition into the oil attacks because he is the hero which is enough to give Drake the CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS (about time too!).

He goes off into a rant of “HE IS NOT!” which is about as useful as stuffing a marshmallow in a piggy bank. He jumps on the table and that table's got some flex because not only does it not break; the flying watermelon crashes on top of his head which makes the princess giggle because he's funny. Hey; Drake as an international object equals funny, so I'm game. LP agrees with her as Drake walks off the table clearly unable to see due to the watermelon blurring his vision and falls off the table and takes a MAN-SIZED bump on the floor. That spot wasn't so funny as we head to inside a camel which is carrying a rich man's car on it's back. Too funny. Sadly; Drake's ride isn't funny at all as he gets the smallest camel that can carry him. The two dogspeople guards are with him as one of them sezs that they found the body of a SHUSH agent just ahead. Oh please stop reminding me of the Va. Tech shootings Disney! I know that this is 16 years too late; but this episode is really grating my nerves.

Sadly; we go to the villain side as Steelbeak is looking out with the binoculars which probably means that this episode is going to break the undefeated streak of great episodes as a result of this plot device. We go to a shot of a ridge where we see Steelbeak (Rob Paulsen) who wears a white tux, a red bow tie which would be outlawed by the FASHION POLICE OF LAW, black stocking boots with white trim and is a rooster with a beak made out of steel. That's got to be one painful amputation. He's also got two duck bodyguards wearing FOWL outfits similar to the guards Kingpin employs in the 1995 edition of Spiderman. He calls Drake a doofus which is probably a reference to Doofus Drake which has a similar name albeit as a last name rather than a first name. Sadly; the next episode kills any relationship between Doofus Drake and Drake Mallard that they might have. Steelbeak goes for the MINI SATTELITE DEVICE OF FEAR as he pushes the lower right blue button and it creates the BLACK TORNADO OF DEATH because that's really what this episode needs: More windbags!

It creates a sandstorm and I have the stupidity question of the episode: Why are there two tornadoes in the scene? Is there some symbolic irony that I'm not getting here? Guard #1 orders that everyone must take cover, as if there is an underground tornado shelter underneath the sand to begin with. So they decides to duck for cover which is ultra moronic because the whipping winds would cut you into pieces with that kind of force. However; this is COMEDY BABY so fuzzy cartoon logic applies here. Drake then notices that LP has stolen Gosalyn's SquackMan to amuse himself. How dare he?! If you want to act like a jerk fine; but hands off Gosalyn's things. Okay; Drake is more concerned with LP's well being. Drake tries to get his attention; but since he's the hero, there will be no help for him. The force of the winds manages to snap the camel's belt and the car flies around like LP is unaware that he might actually die. Drake follows him as the car crashes into the sand with a wussy bump. Even with Kennedy Cartoons somethings never change.

Drake does however; take a decent bump and slams like a freaking bug on my windshield. LP decides to let him in after all. Sadly; Drake flies away into the wind and LP finally decides to stop acting like a jerk and act like a hero for a change. Now if he was doing what I suggested earlier this scene would at least have some sympathy. As it is; it is jarring and forced and the first Logic Break of the episode rears it's ugly head as LP is running on the sand without flying away. He grabs onto Drake's cape and he starts flying with Drake. UGH! They fly right into the BLACK TORNADO OF DOOM and the scene shifts back to the Princess' castle where the dogspeople guards report and plead for forgiveness. They sell it as if LP was dead; but the Princess ruins it by saying that LP will overcome death itself and we go to the next scene (in the SANDBOX OF DOOM no less) as LP and Drake pop up from the sand. Yeah; they are all right. Drake's not impressed by LP's hero tactics. Well; at least LP showed some courage for a change; no matter how jarring it was. Drake wants LP's next step and LP responds by saying that he does what all people do when they are lost: Find the nearest Gas Station. Drake is unimpressed by this because LP realizes that they are IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE to end the segment about 11 and a half minutes in. You know what; Darkwing Duck is at times darker than TaleSpin is, but at least I cared about Baloo more than even Launchpad at this point. That's why he should stay as a sidekick because god forbid if LP is more concerned about being a hero than being funny.

After the commercial break; we are back with the DREADED VOICEOVER OF DOOM inside the SANDBOX OF DOOM doing the desert spots which is even worse than when Baloo and Louie did them in Part Two of For Whom The Bell Klangs. LP's sunscreen gag is funny though as death reference number two or three of this episode commences (although the body count far surpassed TaleSpin a long time ago; and Knight Fright from the comics doesn't count.). Drake's acting is getting somewhat bearable at least. Thankfully; the spot ends quickly as LP notices large navy ships leftover from Ducktales and they are on the SANDBOX OF DOOM with no context whatsoever. They climb onto the anchor to get aboard and then they are forced to hide as FOWL EGGMEN are swabbing the deck. Well that explains Doctor Robotnik at least. Two FOWL EGGMEN carry a ladder as Drake and LP hide again which goes nowhere as usual. Drake tries to surmise; but LP stops him because the hero should do it. That just kills the illusion of LP's sympathy for me right there. Memo to Launchpad: Velma was the detective in Scooby Doo and she was a mere sidekick and Drake decides to let LP do it.

Oh please Drake as Drake would say earlier in the episode. That irony pretty much writes itself. Launchpad has NOTHING..AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Drake doesn't like that and surmises that they should take a closer look. LP actually thanks Drake for the advice which is twice now that Drake has looked like a bigger jerk than LP. They tiptoe across the ship complete with the DREADED VOICEOVER OF DOOM. I'm getting sick and tired of that spot which is ended as Drake is rolling on a missle warhead. When in doubt; use a deadly weapon I suppose. Drake rolls around which looks absolutely choppy (first real spot screwed up by Kennedy) and he takes a decent bump into a gun turret which the missile explodes. No wonder this episode was cut to pieces on Disney Channel. Logic Break #2 rears it's ugly head as Drake is perfectly all right and manages to land on his feet to boot...and of course the FOWL EGGMEN surround them. Like FOWL EGGMEN are deaf? Dumb and blind maybe; but not deaf at least.

They try to shoot at close range and Drake and LP leap over them and escape to the side of the battleship. Man; this episode is almost as violent as Bygones right now. Sadly; the FOWL EGGMEN manage to surround them again with weapons drawn. Drake decides to play hero and wants LP to jump off. LP no sells again because he's the hero. You would think that after Ape of Wrath that he would've learned something but I guess not. Lots of shooting and we are up to 0.6 Trigun now although this episode is also a 0.3 CUCKOO at this point too. They are both forced to jump and they land in the QUICKSAND OF the middle of a desert?! They sink to the bottom as the lights go out. Well; at least they didn't insult out intelligence by having them get out of the quicksand nor having the quicksand be lethal. We then have LP and Drake tied up to chairs by the purple goofy eyes as the lights finally go back on. Oh come on! That was too obvious guys! Drake thinks that the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT is going to commence. Okay; he didn't say that, but the plot is going to thicken into the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT so the door opens and here's Steelbeak complete with black comb to comb his red hair mane as he makes some really lame joke.

I should note that his accent is grating my nerves even more than LP's jerkoff attitude at this point. They exchange insults; none of them which were funny. LP goes into his OUT OF CHARACTER SMART MODE as Steelbeak is impressed. LP calls himself a hero which Drake tries to stop him because the joke isn't funny anymore. LP no sells Drake of course. Steelbeak blows them off as he explains his MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN to them before torturing them. Why not just kill them outright? Like you did with the other 24 SHUSH agents? He's after the oil reserves so that he can make money for the FOWL empire while making lame gas station puns. That is so Shere Khan/Don Karnage-ish and yet so weak. Drake blows him off with even weaker gas puns as the episode is dying before...Oh shoot! STOP MAKING PUNS THAT REMIND ME OF THOSE SCHOOL SHOOTINGS! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER GREGORY!

Okay; back to the rant as Steelbeak declares that he'll attack by sea and both Drake and LP laugh that off even though the weather device is in his hands. They are laughing as if Drake was being tickled by the FEATHERS OF ANNOYANCE although they are clearly not. Steelbeak counters with the weather device and makes it rain on Drake complete with thunderstorm which is quite cute to watch. Steelbeak's plan is to create an ocean with a weather making device. Yeah; it's a stupid reference to all the cheesy Captain Planet episodes; but at least DARKWING...DUCK has enough heat to actually do it well. Because it's COMEDY BABY! We go inside a jail cell as LP (completely untied) pleads to give him a chance as Drake is moping around with the raincloud on his head as it continues to rain on him and flood the cell. Now that's an effective form of torture. Drake decides that the best course of action is wait until the guard shows up and make him his slave through hypnosis as if that would EVER work. However; the thunderstorm causes Drake to fry (since he's holding the jail door steel bars) and the steel jail door goes down allowing our heroes to escape. Well; SOMEONE FIRE THAT DOOR! Logic Break #3 rears it's ugly head in the next scene as the mini rain cloud is no longer on top of Drake's little pinhead as he and LP run around through the caves. And I don't accept it; because it's was actually funny. They are forced to scatter because there are two FOWL Eggman bouncers guarding the weather device. Geez Steelbeak; there just has to be a contrived spot coming. Drake gets out the gas gubn to commence the assault; but LP's jerkiness returns because he's the HERO. This is really becoming disjointed now. Drake has had enough of LP's jerkiness (YAY!) as he fires the GAS GUN OF DOOM at the FOWL Eggman bouncers as the DREADED VOICEOVER OF DOOM (UGH UGH UGH!) beckons at 16:31:

Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the little mouse that eats your cheese.

Oy vey Drake! That was really terrible. On second thought; let LP commence the attack first. Drake walks into the blue smoke (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH) as the FOWL Eggman bouncers stop selling fear and invoke the POWER OF THE PUNCH double time on Drake and he takes a sick MAN-SIZED bump into the cave wall complete with Hanna Barbera Scooby Doo Snow Angel spot. The Eggman Bouncers laugh it up as LP steals the weather device from under their noses and leaves with Drake in tow. Finally; LP does something that actually works....for about three seconds as Steelbeak backs up our GANG OF GAG up. Drake then steals the weather device to use it to fry Steelbeak and Steelbeak sells it until he realizes Drake is really stupid and creates the BLACK TORNADO OF DOOM on himself, allowing him to twist like a coil spring. Drake then finally finds the right button and it created a giant raincloud.

Steelbeak protests because Drake's going to jam it as the weather device is knocked out of Drake's hands and onto the flooded floor as the device shoots more black cloud. It's safe to safe that this is not going well for me rant wise. Steelbeak grabs the weather device and he is electrocuted (complete with impact stars) since his beak is metal of course. It nearly blows his head off; but he's all right as Drake and LP head to the surface through the trap door. So there was a tornado shelter after all. Binky would be proud. Drake and LP scatter away as the GIANT RAINCLOUD OF DEATH rises from hell. Okay; just the trapdoor as the rain storm of all time commences. Steelbeak and his bouncers scatter to the battleships as Drake and LP run across a makeshift river stream. However; they make the mistake of looking as a giant tidal wave is heading straight for our heroes (called a FLASH FLOOD...Oh I get it! HAR HAR!) as the segment ends almost 18 minutes in.

After the commercial break; we see the flash flood consume our heroes and they may be dead as we shift to the battleship where Steelbeak is trying to unjam the WEATHER DEVICE OF DOOM. He simply punches it and the weather finally stops after he nearly gets fried to death once again. Sadly; Drake has screwed Steelbeak because all but one battleship is left to commence the attack on Oilrabia. Steelbeak is ticked off and the urge to kill is rising. As if I care. Steelbeak calls for a FOWL Eggman who appears and speaks. So Steelbeak MURDERS him with the Dumptruck screw punch to flatten the egg-man into mush and he thanks him for saving his life. Okay; that was actually pretty funny and the first real funny spot from Steelbeak. Steelbeak decides to attack Oilrabia because he has enough firepower. So why bother recreating the other battleships? That seems to be real overkill if you ask me. Steelbeak thinks that they will surrender and uses more french to annoy me. He also claims that Drake is dead and facing Davey Jones.

Sadly; he's wrong as we see Drake and Launchpad doing more wave surfing. At least the pop-culture is apporos for this show; so nothing to annoy me here. Drake proclaims that LP has saved his life. LP says that's what heroes do. I just don't know how LP really saved Drake's life. However; the thank you's will not matter because they are SURFERS OUT OF CONTROL as the flash flood pushes them over Oilrabia Castle and they crash right into a castle pillar taking a decent bump and the board crashes and then they take wussy bumps onto a pillow and wooden chair. They are all right of course and no real damage was done. However; the firework begin as we see the battleship shooting at Oilrabia as it is high enough to shoot at it. Never mind that the entire world would be flooded if that happen; but it's COMEDY BABY! The pun that never stops even if you want it to. The shots actually hit the castle as Steelbeak decides to use the weather device to create the STEROID CLOUD MONSTER OF RAINY DOOM on the Princess's chamber...and the whole place gets flooded of course as Drake and LP are forced to save the Princess. The Princess cannot swim of course. Memo to Princess: Lotta called. She says to stop leeching off her heat or you're dust buster!

So Drake and Launchpad are forced to save her using the bath tub to reach her. You know that Ross is running out of ideas when the bathtub is involved as a plot device. Drake and LP dive to save the Princess and they succeed equally. The Princess calls them both heroes. I call this a little sexist myself; but whatever, the princess has no real character development because it' know...LP gets a hug, Drake gets a kiss on the lips. Ewwwww. Duck on duck kissing is ultra gross. The doors open and more water flows out as they go the water slide spot which is less funny unless Homer Simpson is involved. They crash through a stained glass window to get out and then take wussy bumps off the oil well towers a bit before taking a MAN-SIZED bump against the castle wall and taking a wussy bump on the ground. That somehow is enough to shatter the bathtub. Oh please! Just end this episode now. Steelbeak tells the princess to give up the oil; or her people are basically dead from drowning and since he's not pushy, he gives them ten minutes. Princess wants advice of the heroes. Drake decides to go into his MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN #121: Give Steelbeak oil. Princess thinks he's insane and I agree with her on that one. However; it's time to get dangerous and the finish is coming soon. LP likes DW because he's now a hero as Drake and LP exit stage right. Oh how touching and forced that was.

We go back to Steelbeak's battleship as the SANDS OF THE HOURGLASS flows and so are the WEAK EPISODES OF OUR LIVES. Look; the Va. Tech...Never mind. It's not worth it. I just want to end my rant and I still have a little less than two minutes to go. Steelbeak decides to break his word because it causes stress. Kind of like what I'm going through now when I have to KEEP my word and commences the attack on Oilrabia. He speaks into the MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HARTS to demand the Princess to surrender and Steelbeak gets a steady stream of oil right in the kisser! Good; I'm getting tired of him talking in his weak Al Capone accent. Of course; it's Drake and LP giving him barrels of oil from a pump of the oil well of Oilrabia. I still don't get the point of this. The Princess then goes to her guards and they switch on the FANS OF DOOM and that's enough to blow the MONSTER RAINCLOUD OF DEATH towards the battleship. Yeah; that fuzzy cartoon logic is back. Just like Ammonia Pine weighing less than a bubble. Those fans must be bloated with steroids by now. Steelbeak tries to use the weather device to counter but it slips out of his hands and he slips around in the oil as the weather device drops into the sea. I think it's safe to say that Steelbeak is finished as the thunderbolt strikes the oil , bursts into flames and burns the battleship into ash. Yeah sure; a metal battleship burns to ash in ACME Warner Brothers fashion, whatever.

Drake mocks it so you know that it is lame. Get use to it; it happens with Steelbeak every freaking episode that he's in. Steelbeak and his EGGMEN are all right as he hates Drake. Well at least you didn't die since it's no worse a logic break as a metal battleship burning to ashes. We return to Oilrabia as the princess and LP exchange notes and goodbyes. The princess' the world is a safer place is so funny to mention and mock since this is DARKWING...DUCK we are talking about. Drake decides that Launchpad is now 100% equals and Launchpad is HAPPY. So that was the moral of the story; which is completely killed in five seconds as LP is forced to grab the bags. Launchpad decides to sell which that all important funny joke of killing redemption. Which is an excuse for bad story lines in this show. Launchpad and Drake go into the Thunder Quack as the episode ends at 21:22. What a crappy way to start Disc two with no sympathy heat on LP to make it worth seeing Drake get his ego deflated here. Everything else was just there and Steelbeak's Looney image just makes him a lame cross reference more than anything else. ** ( 40%)


While the episode isn't terrible or anything, it was pretty dull with a few funny moments which mostly revolved Drake getting screwed and tormented by a raincloud. However; the whole episode was focused on getting Launchpad to be a hero. However; a better story would be to make Launchpad agree (in protest) with Drake's commands and then snap when Drake goes too far with his ego. Then he would have sympathy heat because up to this point; Launchpad has been doing sidekick work like a slave. Problem is that he likes it 99.9% of the time in other episodes. By making him defiant early on; the sympathy isn't there and therefore made it a rough episode to rant on.

A lot of logic breaks including some obvious ones at the end really hurt this episode and the Princess is nothing but a Middle Eastern princess gimmick. I guess Lotta was a fluke after all. Steelbeak was a pain to watch and only had one good joke to show for it. I really cannot stand his accent and seems like a silly schemer rather a ruthless killer that the episode was building up earlier on. I should point out that this isn't Disney fault; but I was ranting on this a day after the Virginia Tech shooting rampage in which 33 people were dead and it completely drained me so listening to killing cartoon characters was something I didn't want to see or listen too and so I was more harsh than usual. The animation was all right in most places; so that wasn't a problem. Again; this episode just wasn't funny. The next episode is a much better one and one of my all time favorites: Paraducks. Drake VS. Elvis in a grudge match to see who is more amusing.

Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.


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