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Paraducks
Reviewed: 04/23/2007
I knew Elvis was a bad influence on children!
This is one of my favorite episodes because anything that allows reality bending and Drake to beat up a heel Elvis was okay by me. It is also in many ways Drake Mallard's origin/teenage years story which eliminates any hope that Drake Mallard is really Doofus Drake from Ducktales. I just didn't know the title before. I think Drake Has Left the Time Machine would have worked better, but what do I know. So let's rant on shall we...
The episode is written by Doug Langdale and the story has been edited by Kevin Crosby Hopps. This is the guy who produced The Weekenders and yet I loved this episode way back when. I guess Tad Stones is a genius like Jymn Magon is. His premise can overcome the obvious weak points of the writers themselves. This would be the fifth episode animated by Sun Woo. Funny story: The Post-Production services were done by..wait for it...Exploding Bunny! Seriously; that was what the name of the company was called. That deserved a mention in the rant as a result.
We start in THE CITY OF SAINT CANARD at an abandoned antique gas station as Drake's station wagon arrives as Gosalyn is really upset because this is not her school. Gosalyn likes school? CALL THE OUT OF CHARACTER DEPARTMENT!! And wasn't Drake's station wagon suppose to be orange or red like it was in the pilot? Am I missing something here? Never mind; Drake stops because he has a package to deliver to SHUSH and they are using a GAS STATION as camouflage (as sezs Gosalyn). Drake then remembers that this gas station was part of his past along with the school and his house. Gosalyn then accuses Drake of lying because he said that he walked 12 miles to school. Riiiight. Like Drake could walk five meters when he could use his motorcycle instead. Drake orders Gosalyn back into the car for his misstep. Drake then allow the mailbox to shallow him whole and it spits out DARKWING... DUCK! Nice to see that Buzz's trash robot invention wasn't a complete waste after all.
Drake goes in ordering Gosalyn to not get into any trouble. Gosalyn ponders that question which means that she WILL get into trouble within thirty seconds. I hope you have your stopwatch handy here. Drake blows her off with some past history while speaking in a monotone bland voice just to annoy me more than her. Gosalyn tries to defend herself; but Drake tells her to stay put. Drake goes in as Gosalyn complains while using more pop-culture talk to prove that this cartoon took place in the 1990's. Gosalyn then ponders the question: Will I allow trouble to get the best of me? Gosalyn of course sezs yes to that and leaves the car. I'd say that took about 20 seconds give or take...A new record even for her. We go inside the GAS STATION OF SHUSHING. Which rhymes with FLUSHING as anime purists go to their e-mail...Ah forget it! The joke is dead. Live with it; ranter of the world....and the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckons at 2:18:
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night...
Sadly; the smoke stops (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH) as Drake is pinned to the wall with the poison darts. Well; Drake as an international object equals funny so I'm for it. J. Gander introduces Sara Bellum who is demonstrating a new device which is a dart shooting teddy bear. I should notice that she is a babyface with glasses and has the Asian stereotype look. Okay; I guess she likes snooker...darts...snooker...darts...snooker...darts...Gotta love TSN 1990'ish ads. And of course; it shoots poison darts with pinpoint accuracy. So that's where Drake got his full of himself attitude from! It's so clear to me now as Gosalyn sneaks in through the window (called a winwow if I was spelling it in the 1990's.) because that's how all kids and midgets do it I guess. Gosalyn finds the banana satellites and gets off Keen Gear reference number one for the episode as she is near the golf cart.
More on that later as we return to Gander and Drake exchanging notes which sadly don't include recipes for antidotes for poison darts. The package is of course Greatest Polka Hits. Just what every elder stereotype wants as a secret I guess. I was hoping Gander would listen to more violent music so that he could be more in focus on his own job at SHUSH. Hey; it's called entertaining me and SHUSH refuses to do that so I'm forced to ask for EGO TRIP MODE DRAKE to do it. Drake absolutely hates that music as Gander, Drake and Sara Bellum attempt to enter the room with Gosalyn using the phone to call someone. Probably the hospital if Drake sees him since Drake is known to have violent fantasies of hurting Gosalyn. Mrs. Bellum proclaims that the polka music isn't ordinary as the phone almost spears Gosalyn in the head. Gosalyn decides to hide behind the golf cart. Bellum explains that the tape contains IMPORTANT encoded information for her latest invention: THE GOLF CART OF TIME AND SPACE. When in doubt crib Doctor Who. It always worked for everyone else who's done the time machine gimmick.
Drake of course messes up because he thinks it's a fridge which is to the left of the time machine. Bellum explains that the POLKA MUSIC OF DOOM operates the time controls of the golf cart. Bellum puts in the polka music and it doesn't sound like polka music as Drake decides to give it a test spin for Bellum's sake. Drake of course screws up and the golf cart drives around and Gander protests to Drake because it's SHUSH property. Well; at least Bellum is interesting enough which is a first for SHUSH anyway. Drake plays it like video game and it goes right through a wormhole to disappear from this reality. Bellum proclaims that it works. I would be more concerned about getting that thing back rather than proclaiming that it works. Well; that's SHUSH for ya as the time and space sequence commences. Gosalyn of course blows her cover the moment the sequence starts and it's weird-o-rama. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. We see a leftover TaleSpin airplane, a T-Rex and some other stuff as the GOLF CART OF TIME AND SPACE finally lands into a forest outside of civilization. Drake asks where they are and Gosalyn sezs we are in pre-history times...Drake looks; and they are in the 1960's as a hot-rod race is about to commence between a duck in a black shirt with a blue hot-rod with flames on the side and pink fuzzy dice.
You can tell it's 1960 because the environmental movement didn't exist and the engines would often larger than the car was. The second car was an antique red car from the 1920's with a white hood and a dogsperson was driving it. That is just too funny. The black shirt duck whistles at two duck girls using hula hoops as a pointless plot device which will somehow creep its way into the finish. The race starts with eating more dust than Al Gore on a hypocritical triade on his new movie. Drake realizes that this is his old school as we head to the playground where a dogsperson wearing a black leather jacket, blue pants, shoes and greasy black hair which looks like a weak version of the Dairy Queen Whipped Topping is on the monkey bars as a young duck who looks like a young Drake is reading a comic book alone...and the greasy-haired freak jumps right on top of Drake and it's a wussy bump on screen of course as the comic book does a better job bumping.
Young Drake complains about this outrage because he's the younger version of Drake Mallard; except for the goofy red hat which clashes with everything else. No wonder he's considered an outcast. Greasy Guy #1 taunts Drakey (his words, not mine) because he reads comic books. Must be Wildmon's son in training to take on those evil, Satanic comic books. Gosalyn then realizes that Drakey is DARKWING...DUCK when he was a school aged brat. Drake doesn't want to see this as YOUNG GREASER #1 pulls him up by the shirt like a bully and states that his big brother's got a gig for him. Drake doesn't want to do it because it's dangerous. Which is codeword for MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN to commence, except Drake cannot do that at this point. YOUNG GREASER #1 punches him with some the weakest punches I have ever seen this side of Molly Cunningham as he drags young Drake away. Although it is understandable since this is COMEDY BABY and the censors wouldn't allow the POWER OF THE PUNCH on kids. Older Drake protests this outrage but Gosalyn stops him because in time-travel movies; if Drake changes the past, it will alter the future. Well; cannot argue with that point Gosalyn. Drake decides to agree because..well; Drake goes into his long winded talk which Gosalyn concludes that Drakey is a wimp. Drake protests this outrage and goes to the music store to prove it.
Drakey calls the punches noogies as Lamont continues to punch him weakly in the head. They enter the music store as Lamont calls out for Boxcar who just happens to be a fox with red hair with a red leather jacket. He looks like Don Karnage for some reason. There's a old bear who has Rebecca Cunningham's perm (even though he is male) wearing a blue bow tie and blue suit tied up behind the counter. What does this show have against TaleSpin? The other one is a dogsperson wearing the same haircut as Lamont except that it's brown and he's wearing a brown leather jacket with a skull at the back. The king is coming according to Boxcar and the king of the GREASERS enters in style by invoking the air guitar to shatter the glass. That was awesome as the king looks ticked off. I guess Drakey did something REALLY bad to tick him off. He then starts to sing as the dance number of Elvis begins. Nice to see Disney continuing to show how animal can kick butt, I guess.
Like Sky Pirates; I'm not going to call the spots here as this song is entertaining which is what all songs on Disney are supposed to do. Not like that weak TaleSpin pilot which used a song to make us care about Rebecca, Molly and Kit. That's sarcasm of course. He mentions Ceicle who is her girlfriend to be I guess. Watch out for the angel spot there guys. The bear's name is Jack by the way. He basically destroys the music store with his steroid laced guitar. This proves without a shadow of a doubt that Elvis is a bad influence on children. After all; he just taught children how to sing badly; rob a music store and destroy it with the lasers coming out of it's guitar. I don't know if this is a parody of Elvis or a tribute to Grease. Anyhow; the song ends as Drake and Gosalyn are walking in front of a coffee shop looking for Drakey and of course the Music Shop takes all the bumps to prove that it's being destroyed. Drake goes into his usual full of himself gig as the Greasers grab the money while Drakey tries to make a run for it.
Sadly; he does the Kit Cloudkicker get squished by the door by older adult as Drake enters the music store to threaten the Greasers. So this is what Drake has sunk to? Taking on a steroid air guitar player and his gang. Drake goes for the gas gun; but Gosalyn pulls him away because of the FUTURE! Drake doesn't like that as he coughs. AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH. Gosalyn is in total OUT OF CHARACTER DEPARTMENT here. This is a pod Gosalyn...or Kit wearing a Gosalyn suit. The real Gosalyn would charge in without a care and beat up the Greasers until they beg for mercy. Drake would be the one trying to restrain Gosalyn. Drake waves bye-bye and the GANG OF GAG leaves as KING GREASER counts his money in peace so to speak.
We return to the golf cart as Gosalyn taunts Drake's younger years. Drake is depressed because he's a common criminal. Gosalyn doesn't believe that as he restarts the golf cart because he's a geeky one. Geez; what does that make Gosalyn? A dorky one? The golf cart goes into the red wormhole to escape and re-enter back in the gas station as Drake tells Gosalyn to hide in order to distract Bellum and Gander. Drake walks out and takes a MAN-SIZED bump onto the ground because the place looks different. I don't like the looks of this as we see Gander and Bellum working on a blue car. Yeah; I really don't like the look of this. Drake realizes that they are different somehow and blows it off as a good disguise. Gander and Bellum act like they don't even know this guy. Drake then pulls the black hair of Sara Bellum from the roots. That's a no-no Drake and Langsdale.
I've heard Disney has been cutting scenes for the Disney Channel that involve any bad contact with males and females. Gander actually shows some courage for a change and uses the wrench to fend off Drake. He then pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and Drake gets squashed by the car smasher. Too funny as Drake decides to come back some other time as a car arrives breaking into the garage as Gander proclaims that this is the KING OF SAINT CANARD arriving. And it is so true as the white limo arrives complete with GREASER fanfare. The KING OF GREASERS reveals himself dressing up as Elvis. That should eliminate any doubt about the bad influence of Elvis to children. He's even wearing the pink glasses just to further the truth further. Drake is SHOCKED at this development and Gosalyn is appalled because we then see Drakey appearing complete with air guitar being a man servant to the King Greaser. Gosalyn says that Drakey is geekier than before. The GREASER fanfare find Bellum and Gander hiding so the king wants taxes because it's yesterday and today is payment. The KING GREASER is so EVIL and I'm loving it. Drake cannot believe this because it's not supposed to be happening. The king plays a tune which shatters glass better than Tatu singing “They're not going to get us!”. Then shaking commences as they do the shake the babyface by the ankles to get the money spot. Sadly; the king's fun ends as the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckons at 10:30:
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the cloud that rains on your hit parade.
Now that's a quality promo there Drake! The SHUSH engine fixers take a tumble and it's a completely wussy bump to boot off screen. Baloo should teach them how to take THAT bump. The KING is not amused as he plays a weak tune and that's enough to causes the tires to tie up Drake. The older one of course. Like I said before; Drake's fortunes have sunk if he's fighting a bunch of GREASERS who's only weapon is an electric guitar. The KING GREASER kicks Drake like a wheel and it stops right below the anvil engine. Oh yeah Sun Woo; that wasn't contrived at the very least no siree! And this episode was going so well too. Drake demands help as Gosalyn hides away. Lamont sits on the golf cart. KING GREASER decides to kill Drake with the anvil engine on top of the pulley as he invokes the scissors which snaps the rope (NOT THAT SPOT....Ooops; wrong show!)..and the engine drops down about two feet. Drakey finally proclaims that this is dangerous. Oh great; the Kit Cloudkicker doubt mode enter Drakey about 20 years too late to save him from jail right now. KING GREASER smacks Drakey away and no bump or sound is heard. Geez; let the poor kid take his lumps...Errr..bumps. More Elvis puns including the creamed line from Babyface Half-Nelson. Wonder if that was his inspiration considering that all the silly Disney Afternoon fans proclaim that TaleSpin is in the same world as Ducktales and DARKWING...DUCK! Ducktales and Darkwing; yeah, but TaleSpin has only one piece of evidence and it's related to Rescue Rangers which is nowhere near those worlds at all. I guess no one heard of Product Placement! How else do you explain the use of it today in full bloom?! Anyhow; the anvil engine continues to drop down as the rope is snapping to end the segment about 11 and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we return to the scene of Drake's demise at the hands of an overweight anvil engine as Drake calls King GREASER a cash cow. King GREASER asks Drake for a last request as Lamont suggest a medley of his greatest hits. Which means; a lot of noise and talk of Celica. King GREASER flips the tire from Drake's mouth. Real smart move there King HONKEY TONK MAN WANNABE; allow Drake to speak. That's just torture waiting to happen! Drake suggests a polka. I knew that pointless plot device was going to be used at some point. Damn me to hell for suggesting otherwise. KING GREASER HATES THAT MUSIC and Lamont is wanting some pain as Gosalyn gives the thumbs up which means she's doing the MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN. She presses the red button and the golf cart jumps around playing polka music. Well; it's more exciting than it originally sounds. The golf cart rides around and crashes into KING GREASER as he takes a nasty bump on the floor in the process. Atta boy there HONKY TONK MAN WANNABE! It also bumps Drake away from the anvil engine as the rope finally snaps and we go into the wooden plank see-saw cartoon spot with KING GREASER's butt. I am so enjoying this episode. He takes a MAN-SIZED bump into the ceiling and protests this outrage. Too funny as Drake bumps around and bowls a strike on the other GREASERS and they take some decent bumps in the process. Drake rolls into the golf cart and takes a MAN-SIZED bump in the process himself. Of course; he comes out of one tire which isn't as cool as when Molly does it. It's DARKWING...DUCK; what did you expect?
Drake wobbles a bit before the GREASER FANFARE decides to blitz him. So Drake does the smart move for a change and uses the golf cart to create the wormhole to escape completely. The GREASER FANFARE cannot catch up and they take a decent bump on the floor. Second TIME & SPACE sequence commences. Hey; when interactions are too wussy for Disney; do a reality-bending sequence to waste time. Gosalyn taunts Drake for being the king of the Wimpizoids. She does watch TaleSpin after all even though it was HER idea not to interfere with the past. Just like Kit Cloudkicker not apologizing in the Baloo losing memory episode. You know which one; the one that suspended my disbelief. This one is doing it well; but no drama because it's COMEDY BABY.
We return to the past at the music store as the golf cart goes out of the wormhole and lands perfectly without damaging a single thing. Funny that the KING GREASER destroyed the store in the previous scene and yet here it is completely intact. Typical Sun Woo CONTINUITY ERROR. Drake decides that it's time to take no prisoners. Gosalyn stops him again and Drake is sick of this. However; it's not DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) this time because the Greasers are getting away as the four GREASERS get into their hot pink car just to continue the Elvis parody or Grease tribute. I still don't know which is what they are going for here. The pink car backs into the golf cart and it's FLAT AS A PANCAKE with GOSALYN IN IT! OUCH! I guess even Doug is tired of Gosalyn acting like a pod Gos if you know what I mean. Drakey comes out of the music store demanding answers and he's ticked off.
He's also got the blueprints in his hands as he gasps to see a GOLF CART is parked near a MUSIC STORE. Gosalyn hops out to greet him and Drakey is SHOCKED to see that he somehow knows them. Gosalyn almost blows Drake's cover before correcting herself. Why bother? Drakey is going to be DARKWING...DUCK anyway. It's not like Drake can screw up history any more than Gosalyn has by doing NOTHING...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Drake does his EGO TRIP MODE promo in front of him. Smooth move Drake; scare your younger self in your first appearance to him. Drakey realizes that he's a superhero while pointing at Drake. Normally; pointing the finger is rude; but in Drake; giving him the middle finger would actually be a nice gesture in his case. Drakey goes into his comic book and he loves..wait for it....SUPERPIG!! BWHAHAHAHAHA! No wonder he's a wimp. This just makes Superbunny look like a good superhero. This is just great.
Drake does the sparkle effect pose which shows that Sun Woo is animating. Superman parody spots follow of course because Superpig is a parody of Superman here. Drake of course is in trouble because he's only faster than a speeding bullet when he's being an international object and he doesn't have those kind of steroids yet kid. You are served a blank there Drakey! Gosalyn asks for the King and Drakey said it could be dangerous which means Drake should be saying his dangerous promo right now. Sadly; Gosalyn gets to do it as she threatens the POWER OF PUNCH on Drakey (and it's a real one this time). Drakey decides to give in and take them to his hideout.
We head to the KING GREASER's hideout as Drake is standing on a load of crates and boxes which are more dangerous than Drakey getting weak punches to the head by Lamont. They are playing music inside the room by the way as Drake goes for MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN #346. Drake states that they should use the element of surprise which is responded with Drakey chewing gum and bursting a blown bubble to blow the cover. Too funny there. Hey; Drake is better when he's getting screwed; including his younger self doing it. Sadly; that causes the boxes to tip over and the GANG OF GAG PLUS GEEKY COMIC BOOK READER to fall down and take some really wussy bumps off-screen. Drake takes it surprisely well as the place is dirty. Sadly; Ammonia Pine isn't here so the GREASERS will have to do. The fox one has a crowbar and the king hates surprises.
Drake blows him off because he's getting another surprise: the trashcan complete with Drake's Kung-Fu Lead Grip Webfeet Action! Which is enough to bowl over the GREASERS and they take wussy bumps off-screen. Well; at least Sun Woo isn't blowing any spots...yet.. Drake and company run stage right as the king is ticked off and the urge to rock is rising now...Because the king don't do that killing stuff. No siree; hound dog! He plays his guitar and it causes a mini-earthquake as everything else topples on the GREASERS. Apparently; the king has that hair steroid cream because he completely no-sells it while everyone else does. It's COMEDY BABY! King GREASER proclaims that Drake is dead and violates ANIME DUB CONDUCT RULES #11 and #12 (#12 is thou shalt not rhyme and #11 is don't use Crusin and Brusin as a threat. Because it's COOL!) . Uh-Huh indeed!
We head to the playground as the wind whips as I suspect that Drakey is involved in a stupid calm before the storm spot with Drake. Drake then strikes against Drakey and Drakey ducks while Drake does his stupid karate moves in mid-air even though he's only a foot in the air. Too funny as Drakey just makes him look stupid. Drakey was the smarter one of the eras. Gosalyn doesn't like where this is going ; but I am. Then again this Gos is a Pod Gos as they say. Drake wants him to do it in a show of being a BAD INFLUENCE. Drakey screws up but does a cute butt bounce on the ground. Drakey then just gives up right there. You know something writers; interactions are a good thing. Ask Magon about it. Ask any TaleSpin fan about it. COMEDY doesn't have to be shallow. Drake blows off this give up because Superpig is a bad influence. I for once agree with Drake on this matter. Drake is in EGO TRIP MODE as he asks for another kick from Drakey. Drakey kicks Drake right into the midsection..and a good one too. As Kit would say: By George; I think he's got it! Drake wheezes in pain as Drakey apologizes. Why?!
That was a perfect shot in the midsection. Drake walks away as Lamont arrives probably to do those really stupid punches in the head. Please kick this guy in the nuts Drakey! I would create a whole series behind it: Lamont Gets Canned in the King Greaser's Jewels by Drakey and I would watch it, even reruns. However; since this is Disney; it isn't going to happen. Get over it; sick freaks of the world! Drakey is scared stiff and tries to do the KARATE CHOP OF DOOM; but it's not there. Lamont gets scared anyway. I smell a plan brewing here as Lamont asks if Drakey could join his gang. Drakey refuses because superheroes don't join gangs. Under that line; everyone else joins gangs. Which makes sense if you are a politician in this country too. Anyhow; Lamont leaves proclaiming that the GREASERS plan to overthrow Royal Records tonight. You know these GREASERS are EVIL when they are knocking over record stores. How about something like a bank; or a police...Ah forget it! They're not going to listen anyway. Drakey walks stage right with the karate chop as Gosalyn taunts Drake again. Shut up Gosalyn! It was you who said not to interfere with the future and yet the future changed anyway. It's fuzzy cartoon logic at it's worst; but it's COMEDY BABY! It turns out that Lamont was playing his like a fool as the GREASERS commence their next plan: Overthrow Royal Records and destroy Drakey's spirit so that the future is the king's to rule as the segment ends almost 17 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to Royal Records which is a giant jukebox of course just to continue using possible leftovers that TaleSpin couldn't use because Eisner screwed..ERRR...canceled the series after one season. Gosalyn's confused because anything that happens before 1985 is too ancient for her to understand. At least it shows that Drake isn't really as stupid as he's been written by the writers. We continue with the GRAPPLING HOOK OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE; but since this is COMEDY BABY; it is apporos here. Drake climbs up complete with his dreaded voiceover just to annoy me. And he's in full EGO TRIP MODE; how charming. Sadly; he finally becomes stupid as he foolishly walks on the big ass turntable and he trips on the rope just to show how stupid he is. Thankfully; it allows Gosalyn to go up as well. Gosalyn continues to insult Drake as she uses the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE to get Drakey to get involved in the action. See Team Stupidito for the basis of that joke. Drakey is still too scared because it's dangerous. I'm still waiting for Drake to cut his promo as he denies that.
Thankfully; the fun REALLY begins as King Greaser arrives ready for some rhythm and bruise (his words, not mine). The GREASER FANFARE comes up from behind and stuffs music instruments down our heroes bodies. Gosalyn gets the drum which is pretty silly. I thought Drake would get the drum as Drakey realizes that it really is dangerous and seems ready to ruin DARKWING...DUCK's future! Gos and Drake play BOP THE MUSIC DRUM which is too funny to watch. KING GREASER decides to up the ante as Lamont throws...THE SWITCH!! It just sounds better with King GREASER than Negaduck at this point since Negy sucks. More on that in Episode 20. That allows the golden pincher to pick a record from the giant sleeve of record and it's ready to flatten our music disabled heroes as Drakey is still hiding wondering what Superpig would. As if Superpig would save Drake now as Drake tries for the GAS GUN OF DOOM but hapless Gosalyn bumps him and the GAS GUN OF DOOM flies stage right; right beside Drakey.
Drakey grabs it as he forsakes Superpig forever and stuffs his gum into the gun and cuts Drake's promo at least. Drake and Gosalyn are very close to being flatten by the giant record as Drake and Gosalyn finally bust out of the musical instruments; but it's too late to..ummm..get away as Drakey fires a wad of gum from the gas gun and it sticks to the giant golden pincher to stop it. The babyfaces cowers in fear as Drakey for once looks braver than they are. The future is looking bright for Drakey. Drake of course; complains because bubblegum saved him. Gratitude is not Drake's strong point here. We head to the golden record area as the Greasers steal the golden record. KING GREASER swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (Dang!) as Lamont points up to the sky to see Drakey Mallard dressed up like DRAKEWING..DUCK!! Too funny as he invokes the DREADED VOICEOVER OF DOOM at 19:20:
Drakewing: I am the toddler that naps in the night...
That was just too funny. I almost spit out my drink hearing that one! He does the Tarzan spot and he's still having trouble. At least his courage is there; even though his sense isn't. He's slowly turning into Drake Mallard now. He swings and GRABS the king's hairdoo which is clearly fake. OOOOOOOOOOOO..and.... UH OH! Drakey Mallard is SO dead now. Drakey takes a decent bump as he lands on the floor. King GREASER is SHOCKED and appalled (in that order)..and just as King Greaser orders the GREASER FANFARE to get Drakey; Drake finally cuts his dangerous promo. Which means the finish is close at hand. The babyfaces throws the golden record to topple the GREASER FANFARE as KING GREASER climbs the ladder to go after his fake hair. He is so freakin vain if that hair is more important than his success. Then again; that's Hollywood for ya. Drakey backs away as he is dead meat at the hand of THE BALDY TONK MAN! HA! I made a funny!
More Elvis puns as he wants the hair because he'll DIE without it. He looks better without it for some reason. He's more vain than DARKWING...DUCK right now. Drakey throws it over the side and since King Greaser is SOOOO VAIN; he jumps right after it. I guess music does numb your brain into making bad decisions like this one. Gosalyn and Drake are forced to scatter as King GREASER takes a MAN-SIZED bump with his jaw! OUCH! I'm surprised it didn't shatter his teeth at this point. I'm also surprised that there are no logic breaks in this episode. Usually; you would find at least one. Other than the contrived Tire Rolling Spot; but that was Sun Woo's fault in this case. Drake grabs the guitar and it sparkles to show that Sun Woo is animating in case we missed it earlier. Drake then decides to sing. OH BOY!
This is going to be painful..for King Greaser most of all; let alone me. It's the DARKWING...DUCK JIVE SOUL BRO. Without the soul to save it. Again; I'm not calling the spots here since this is basically the finish and let's just say King Greaser is defeated and leave it at that. Every spot involves a MAN-SIZED bump from King Greaser and his fanfare so the animators are on for a change. The song is absolutely funny to listen too when Drake is telling King Greaser that he's finished. Sadly; the last chord pretty much destroys the place since that's in Drake's contract to do so. Ah well; better luck next time Drake.
We head outside of Royal Records as the Greasers are arrested and put in jail. Stupid question of the episode: Where were the police in all this? Oh; wait..The police are as stupid then as they are now. It's COMEDY BABY in DARKWING...DUCK's world! The Greasers are put in the police truck as King Greaser admits that his mother told him not to be a musician. She probably told you not to listen to Elvis songs too. The police lock them up and the police truck drives away just as DRAKEWING...DUCK goes into his mini EGO TRIP MODE which means he's fully into fighting crime now.
The pig police officer blows him off and his clothes. Drakey admits that he didn't do so much and it was DARKWING...DUCK who saved the day...Sadly; Drake and Gosalyn are NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. We head to the alley where the golf cart is with Gosalyn questioning Drake about his memories. Drake of course is wondering the same thing himself because he's full of himself. Photographic memory says Drake?! More like pornographic memory which makes him forget. Drake then shows how stupid he is by forgetting where the time machine is. Gosalyn corrects him as it's right in front of him. Yeap; he's that stupid which is par for the course in this cartoon. Drake does some Elvis puns as the episode ends at 21:20. I wasn't mistaken when I first saw this. This is a perfect episode and Doug Langsdale made his first solo effort count the most. I just wish that he would put as much thought into The Weekenders as he did in this episode. ***** (100%)
THE REVIEW LINE
While there are episodes where the end of Disney's amazing run in television animation was apparent in this series; there were also flashes of brilliance that made the Disney Afternoon so fun to watch. This is a great example of such an episode. The tribute to Grease/parody of Elvis made me love King Greaser as a heel and while the goons didn't get much character development at all; Greaser proved to be a pretty funny villain. Sure; he was all that threatening without the laser air guitar; but it was all fun just the same. I also loved the surprise plot device of Gosalyn's so called time rules in movies backfiring for a change. Usually; doing something would be bad. In this case; doing nothing actually changed the future. A nice change from the usual plot device. Drakey wasn't funny at first; but he got real good once Drake Mallard (the older one) started to run interfere. I also loved the finish because it was one of the most violent song sequences I have ever seen from Disney and they did it much better than the Tiny Toons episode where Buster was framed for a crime he didn't commit. Rock beat Rap and as Curt Henning would say: Rap is Crap.
King Greaser's song sequence was well done too and it helped waste some time because without it the episode would be over in about eighteen minutes or so and we would have another Dirty Money finish on our hands. Plus; the animation was spot on and only one contrived spot in the entire episode, plus the spots hit. Sadly; the bumps are still pretty wussy except for the finish; but that was to be expected. All in all; a great episode to rant on and it was great too. Sadly; Easy Come, Easy Grows isn't so lucky. As Gosalyn would say: That episode blows! This one does not!
Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.