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Bearskin Thug
Reviewed: 05/11/2007
A prelude to a Goofy Movie? Say it ain't so Gregory! It's so kiddies!!
I'm back after a week of pain and suffering in order to rant on an episode that might cause pain and suffering to me. It's time for Tad Stones' version of a Goofy Movie; the difference, this episode is a FOWL episode while A Goofy Movie had no heels at all. Except for Pete and he acted like a babyface for some odd reason. So let's rant on shall we...
The episode is written by Tad Stones and Pat Corcoran. The story has been edited by Tad Stones. This the only show Pat Corcoran did and this might be Pat's only appearance for all I know. This is the tenth episode done by Sun Woo and the sixth out of eight episodes on Disc two.
We head to Drake's house which is looking more art deco by the minute. Gosalyn starts talking with Honker as she finally gets off the first religious reference not related to Saint Canard as they are inside Gosalyn's bedroom which is a complete mess with newspapers (and none of them have DARKWING...DUCK's picture in them thank goodness) and cereal galore. They are called Wacky-O's which the joke would have worked if they were eating soup. I think Happy-O's was what Tad was looking for here. Sunwoo's animating of Honker's left leg is almost as funny as the KUNG FU KICK OF FLIPPING DEATH that Drake put on Jake in the previous rant. Gosalyn considers this a day to rot her brain with video games and cartoons. I'm still awaiting for the six degrees of Kevin Bacon joke to commence from that unspeakable lawyer. Who is his name? I cannot say it. It's unspeakable. Gosalyn's cereal looks more like Fruit Loops instead of Cheerios and I say that this is one step away from an FCC probe at this point. Honker suggests the travel section to Gosalyn and Gosalyn blows it off because her brain would reject it. This would be reason #190 why Gosalyn is not Kit Cloudkicker. Kit loves travel; it's part of his job...The only thing Kit's brain rejects is being tickled because he's more ticklish than ANY CHARACTER NOT CREATED IN JAPAN in the animation world.
Gosalyn finally looks at the newspaper and is really upset at something. Honker thinks that Gosalyn's favorite team lost. Gosalyn rejects that and jumps around trying to hide because...it's CAMPING SEASON! Which to Gosalyn is the same as DUCK SEASON (WABBIT SEASON....DUCK SEASON...WABBIT SEASON...WABBIT SEASON...DUCK SEASON..SHOOT HIM NOW...BANG!...................... YOU'RE DISPICABLE!!) for Daffy. Of course; children cannot get shot in this cartoon so it's all just paranoia on Gosalyn's part. At least hear Christine sounding like Chucky is really funny. I'm also glad that a Goofy Movie wasn't so...hyper in it's approch to the plot device like this one is. Then again; it's COMEDY BABY. See Gosalyn hates camping which proves once again why Gosalyn is not Kit Cloudkicker. Gosalyn drags Honker out of the room and down the stairs. I see Disney censors are here to make sure Honker never take one wussy bump at all. In Sunwoo's world; that's a good thing.
Gosalyn goes into Drake's closet and throws out various camping gear in which Honker does ALL THE WORK carrying. Gosalyn is becoming the new Baloo at this point with Honker being Kit and Drake being Rebecca. Problem; without interactions and proper wit; it's all comes off as a cheap way to get laughs. Gosalyn calls Drake's new form the TRUE OUTDOOR SPORTSMAN. Considering that Drake is full of himself; that's actually a slight IMPROVEMENT. Gosalyn on pause looks like Tank on a bad day and there's a character Gosalyn doesn't need to morph into so to speak. Honker asks the perfect question: Why does she hate camping?...and of course he falls down and is covered with camping gear while taking a decent bump. Gosalyn finds about six different ways to say that she likes the comfort zone. Reason # 192 why Gosalyn Mallard is not Kit Cloudkicker since he only has three of those things, and heat is his own creation because he's a MIRACLE WORKER BABEE!!
Plus; the other two he is very use to in his previous life on the streets. Gosalyn is pampered compared to Kit! They proceed to do a spot where they stuff the camping gear into a proped up sofa (using the wooden stool (NOT THAT ONE!)) and the stuff knocks it over squashing Honker inside which looks really wussy. Par for the course with Sun Woo around. Gosalyn looks around and cannot find Honker so she blows him off. Again; something Kit wouldn't do. Sad thing is; A Goofy Movie would have worked a lot better with Kit than Max do to Kit's amazing babyface heat and coolness while Max was only about 75% of the way there. Just not the same emotion. Honker screams of help as he wiggles as if he was being tickled on his web feet. Gosalyn should tickle Honker's feet and complete the cycle of cloning a pod Kit into him. Sadly; Gosalyn grabs Honker by the ankles and pulls him free. Gosalyn thinks that Drake won't take her camping if he doesn't see it. Riiiight....If only..Gosalyn and Honker get onto the sofa and they bounce. Drake enters the room almost three minutes in which is a new record for his appearance thank goodness and is ticked off because Gosalyn is playing soccer in the house.
If only Drake...Gosalyn bluffs him by grabbing a comic book and reading it. Drake isn't buying that one as he blows her off and wants the truth as Gosalyn blows her cover because she's reading the comic book upside down. Of course Drake notices the cord and since Drake is REALLY STUPID he pulls the cord which invokes the INFLATED RAFT OF LAUGHS. I suspect this will become a running gag later on. I prefer Chief Little Running Gag for such an occasion. The raft blows everyone away as it runs up creating a makeshift indoor camping area with Gosalyn and Honker roasting hot dogs over an open flame. Probably the same one Drake uses to make himself look stupid. Drake of course is perfectly fine as he has a blue fishing hat stuffed over his eyes.
It isn't as cool when Molly gets it because it's not a pilot hat and Kit pulling it over her eyes because she was tickling him back for probably tickling her feet off screen while we were seeing Rebecca with the covers. Now THAT'S A PERFECT RUN-ON SENTENCE. Drake is about to blow off Gosalyn when he sees the camping gear and he morphs into the OUTDOOR SPORTSMAN OF MAN! He runs to the calender where it is either April 7th, May 7th, or June 7th since Gosalyn states that it is springtime. Drake is awfully giddy as he even kisses Gosalyn on the cheek. EWWWWWW as Gosalyn is not HAPPY about these events. Drake then admits that he would have forgotten just to screw with Gosalyn's mind. I'm beginning to like Drake's new form since Gosalyn's paranoia causes her to get screwed in the first place.
We head outside the house as Drake is packing up the station wagon which is thankfully still a blue color since Sun Woo is known for coloring errors. Gosalyn gives Honker all her stuff as if she was completely moving away. Here's logic break #1 for the episode: Why would Gosalyn do this since they have only done this at most one year and she came back...and why would Drake care to do it anyway? I don't see the point of this. A Goofy Movie had a reason for the camping trip and it was Goofy's way to make Max understand his place in life and getting Max to take responsibility for himself. This just reeks of an EGO TRIP MODE. Then again; that's what Drake is best for anyway. Honker doesn't see the point of a last will and testament. That would be religious reference #2 sort of. Gosalyn blows him off on that because Drake's the OUTDOOR SPORTSMAN OF MAN!
The cartoons in DARKWING..DUCK's world is Wacky Willy. Again; a funnier joke would have been Burning Willy (Chilly Willy parody) but I guess that's too violent for Disney. Gosalyn wants to stop this trip and I say I want to see this one go...I want to see if Drake can really be full of himself in that form. Drake decides to go into the house as he tells Gosalyn that they are leaving when the car is completely packed. Gosalyn goes into her MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN #1 (since Kit's the only one who can come up with a good plan) and decides to unpack the car so they cannot go. Honker just shrugs his shoulders and helps her as we cut to see Drake humming to himself while carrying the blue backpack and it matches the station wagon how cute! As Drake walks to the car; he is completely oblivious to Gosalyn carrying the backpacks back into the garage. Something tells me this plan is going to fail really badly now.
Gosalyn scatters as Drake returns to the garage grabbing the same backpacks to the car. Gosalyn is a fibber because Drake is still REALLY STUPID! Drake puts it into the car and walks back to the car as Gosalyn does the tip-toe spot complete with Hanna Barbera twinkle-toe sound effect. Now you know that you are watching a classic. Drake checks his watch just to further the spot which is ceasing to be funny now and then grabs another backpack and puts it into the car. Drake then finally grows a brain (unintentionally) and finds a way to stop Gosalyn MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN: sit on the back of the car. Gosalyn squashes Drake flatter than a pancake as she puts the backpacks into the garage again. Now that was a great spot and good to see Drake take that good bump too. Gosalyn got the shoes on apparently. I guess you can figure out what happens next and she's BUSTED as I expected. Drake blows her off of course as we cut to seeing Drake finally putting everything in it's proper place in the station wagon and there seems to be NO PLACE for Gosalyn and Drake to sit in. Correction: There is someplace for Drake to sit in.
Drake sits in the car and closes the door in which Gosalyn grabs the cord and you can guess what she does with it to screw Drake back next. I'm amazed that the car didn't completely explode after that spot as Drake is now like a bug on my freaking windshield (God bless Kenny Blankenship (the one from MXC, not Sony)). Drake ushers threats and swear words that we don't hear because he's squashed againest the windshield and it's mumbling at best. I love it when Drake takes his lump like a REAL MAN! So the packing continues and finishes up as Gosalyn and Drake hops into the car and Drake starts it. Drake proclaims that Gosalyn cannot screw him anymore. If I were Drake I would kick her out of the house and force her to live Kit's life. That might CHANGE HER TUNE. Gosalyn blows him off as we see the station wagon drive onto the road and there a huge cow chain attached to it and as Drake is talking; the front and rear wheels come completely off of it. So that's where Degeneration X got their idea to screw Vinnie Mac from. Too bad Gosalyn is a cartoon character and cannot collect money from them so she screwed again. Drake is really ticked off now which would have worked better if he stared Gosalyn with ICE DAGGERS in his eyes ala Dynamite Kid.
Instead; Drake offers the cheap way out: Use the orange volkswagon and it manages to get into the country side. I guess Drake used the old bash Gosalyn in the head threat to get her to stop screwing him. Oh wait; Drake merely chained Gosalyn to the seat. Drake blows her off because he got a rental car. I thought that was HIS car. We drive along the S-curved road as they arrive at the wooden gate as about 12 cars are leaving at great neck speed for no reason at all. Gosalyn takes this as a sign to go home; but Drake gets out and blows her off. Drake wants a story and a dogsperson Ranger Smith comes out (You knew THAT was coming!) and screams...badly..because the giant ass bear is going to eat everyone alive if they don't get out. Gosalyn takes this as a great sign and Drake blows her off again because she's supposed to be still chained to the seat. Logic break #2 rears it's ugly head. Drake of course has a reservation and demands a camping permit.
The RANGER SMITH OF BAD TASTE gives him all the camping permits he wants and screams away as he runs off with his little wooden house in tow. Okay; that was pretty funny. Drake goes back in as he blows him off because it is a campground and that there are always bears. Geez; that just reeks of being a coward there as Gosalyn is hunched over the window and climbs back in as Drake speeds into the camp as we see that five animals are leaving as well to pound a joke in that doesn't work either. We also get the behind shot of about a third of the bear which probably means that it is a fake right off the bat. We head to the camp site where Gosalyn and Drake will stay....Forever (so sezs Gosalyn to Honker apparently)... Drake decides to really show Gosalyn how to be a REAL MAN in the wild. First DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) of thumb: Picking the right campsite as Drake uses the thumb to pick it out. Drake picks it and Gosalyn calls it sparse.
Wow; Gosalyn actually sounded as smart as Kit for a change. Drake blows it off because it will be just like home. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh...TAG Drake! Drake tries to spike the iron spike into the ground; but it bends funny. Drake attempts it again with another spike and it bounces back right into his REALLY STUPID KISSER! OUCH! That was sick as Drake sees the stars. Thank goodness Wang Films isn't animating or I would have to retire from seeing drug-induced stars. Gosalyn blows him off course and now Drake is mad because he NEVER GIVES UP (except in part two of the pilot episode and Duck Blind) so he invokes the PICKAXE OF PAIN to the ground and he crumbles to dust as it hits NOTHING..AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Now that was a funny spot.
See; Drake as an international object equals funny. Drake as a over machine equal bad news. Got it? Gosalyn claims that she cheats so she uses the jackhammer to crumble the ground and Drake steals it from her because they are so dangerous. Coming from a guy that walks into the middle of the road in Nightmare of the Living Spud; color me unimpressed. Drake of course leans on the jackhammer because he's REALLY STUPID and drills a hole to bury himself. Well if that means that he'll put Bushroot over than that's A-OK with a cherry on top for me. Sadly; Bushroot is not in this episode. Gosalyn even shows concern for him as Drake jumps out of the hole and bounces like a goof because he NEVER GIVES UP. That spot is really funny and I hope for more screwing from him if only to take Gosalyn down a notch.
So now we head to Drake continuing to show and say his meddle as he ties the last rope of the tent to the jagged rock which I suspect will do the snap-the-rope spot at any moment. See; the OUTDOOR SPORTSMAN OF MAN always improvises. Ah but according to the Urban Peasant FUZZY LOGIC OF JAMES BARBER; only cooks can improvise. He also used a four-leaf clover as a stake just to prove how foolish he is. Why is Gosalyn praising him? I though she HATED camping. Logic break #3 for the episode. Drake goes inside the tent as Gosalyn actually was only selling (and that's goodbye to Logic Break #3 by the way) as she fiddles the rope near the jagged rock and it creates a vibration. See; education doesn't have to be spoken. The sound allows Drake to come out as the four leaf clover uproots easily and the jagged rock uproots as well.
That pretty much ties up Drake inside the tent and allows Drake to take a wussy bump onto the ground. Sun Woo giving us a wussy bump; what a shock? Gosalyn apologizes at Drake as she unzips the tent and Drake is in his stern voice mode. Gosalyn decides to sell it and run away as Drake doesn't like that idea. So we head deeper into the forest which is animated so badly and stiffly that it makes TaleSpin look completely lush in comparison. Ah; the pitfalls of assembly animations are showing in this cartoon now since Sun Woo did a better job in TaleSpin with Polly Wants a Treasure despite blowing the tickling spot. Gosalyn does the Kit blowoff spot from Plunder and Lightning Part One as she collects sticks in the forest. Then we come to the shot where the giant ass bear comes up from behind which would have worked for suspense if the bear jumped up in front of her.
Really Tad; you don't have to do COMEDY BABY for this spot. Gosalyn ignores him and continues to blow off Drake harshly now as she finally stopped selling. The giant bear does the SWIPE OF PAIN and misses Gosalyn by six inches as she moves away from him. The bear growls as Gosalyn goes to the river as she invokes the whip branch which lands right into the giant bear's kisser. The bear doesn't sell properly. Oh come on Tad! If you are going to do COMEDY BABY; make sure he sells like that bear in the Disney Classic cartoons. It's free heat; it's cost him nothing and it makes people laugh. This is an act that has no comedy and doesn't have much suspense to work with and somehow Tad expects me to have both. It doesn't work.
Gosalyn then blows off nature as the giant bear is mad now hearing that one. Then again; duck fans hate bear fans so I suspect the bear is out of luck in this one. The bear does the SWIPE OF PAIN and it misses Gosalyn by three feet this time around and his claws get caught into a tree. Geez; this pretty much destroys any hope that this bear can get heat. Again; this is because DUCKS RULEZ and BEARS SUCKZ in the mind of a Disney Television purists. Oh TAG! Gosalyn walks away as the bear uproots the tree; but still cannot get his claws loose and it falls into the river. Oh boy; if that's our heel; I'm looking forward to Steelbeak. I ask again: What does Tad Stones have against TaleSpin and bears?! So we head back to the campsite as a fire has ALREADY STARTED in the campfire and that renders Gosalyn's sequence pointless..Well; not really since she was looking for extra firewood and I don't see any so at least it isn't a logic break. Gosalyn appears and that scares Drake silly despite the fact that Sun Woo screwed it up because Drake was clearly looking at Gosalyn. It also made it unfunny when Drake acted like a fool because he thinks Gosalyn is going to screw her again. Gosalyn blows him off and rightfully so this time around. Drake apologizes for a change and decides to be the CAMP COOK of this outfit. Ah; nothing gets my heart then James Barber's greatest job description ever. I'm starting to believe that Pat Corcoran is James Barber as a ghost writer..or maybe not.
Drake hushes Gosalyn onto the log in front of the campfire as Gosalyn wants to eat as she has a plate in her hands. You better hope that isn't a plate made of china because spunky girl+china plates= $200 in shatter plates and shattered egos. Drake finds a packages and puts the pills onto Gosalyn's plate. Gosalyn is mad at this. However; Drake calls it dehydrated food. You can say it; but you probably can't spell it (See Usher's Let it Burn case on Video on Trial near the end for the joke.). Well; it's official. Even in OUTDOOR SPORTSMAN OF MAN mode; he is still full of himself. Real dehydrated food is Trail Mixes, apricots, Nuts, prunes and raisins. These are drugs that shouldn't be on this type of program. I'm surprised Common Sense media hasn't done an article on this show like they did with TaleSpin and man they were generous on it. They clearly didn't read my rants because they clearly missed the OH MY GOD spot and all the references of death that would be a concern to them.
Then again; Common Sense Media is not the PTC so there you go. Drake invokes the eyedropper (filled with a drop of water) onto the pills and they turn into a steak, corn and potato with butter. Gosalyn is liking this one until he pokes the steak and it deflates and lands right on Drake's bill. See; I told you that they were steroids. WHERE'S THE FCC ON THIS ONE?! Talk about being asleep at the wheel. Drake then offers Gosalyn a bag of marsh mellows and Gosalyn takes one and puts it on the stick. Gosalyn of course accuses him of creating exploding marsh mellows. Oh please; only Launchpad would resort to doing that; and it would only be unintentional of course. Unless they are filled with popcorn kernels which Drake uses to surprise the Muddlefoots into moving away. It would fail of course.
Drake laughs it off because he would NEVER DO THAT. See; the secret of marsh mellow roasting is to get it golden brown without burning it. I hope he didn't pay for that sage advice as Gosalyn actually does a funny spot with the marsh mellow as she apparently plays a TaleSpin spot. I'm not going to ask anymore; I probably know the answer: DUCKS RULEZ! The marsh mellow catches fire of course and Drake takes the stick away because Gosalyn was being funny. Sadly; Drake Mallard hold it like a torch against the tent and it BURNS BABEE DOWN TO THE GROUND WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE. Well, Drake has no one but himself to blame for that spot. So he blames Gosalyn for it with the eye contact violence. Yeah; nothing is YOUR fault Drake since you are the OUTDOOR SPORTSMAN OF MAN! So Drake is prepared once again as he decides to use a spare tent which is smaller so that would mean that Gosalyn will sleep under the stars tonight. At least he remembered to use the wooden stakes this time around as he calls for Gosalyn to come out of the outhouse.
Well; TaleSpin admitted that anthros do use the bathroom so this isn't out of place. Gosalyn comes out with the gas mask and whines about child endangerment laws. Well; after Drake burned the previous tent to the ground; I have to go with Gosalyn on this one. Drake blows her off as they enter the tent and he proves me wrong again. I don't like being proven wrong by a REALLY STUPID mallard. They sleep inside the blue sleeping bags which should be orange to match the car rental. Drake complains that the ground is lumpy and Gosalyn suggests using the liferaft so that Tad will say that he's not driving this joke to the ground. Don't worry Tad; you aren't....yet! I think you can see what happens next here. They both decide to sleep as we go to the shot where the giant bear shows up to end the segment just over 11 minutes in...This isn't bad; but it's NO GOOFY MOVIE either...
After the commercial break; we see nightfall continues as the giant bear growls loudly as Drake accuses Gosalyn of a stomach gone wild. Gosalyn blows her off as the growling gets louder. Gosalyn rubs her tummy and then they get the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as they see the giant bear's head sticking out with his teeth ready to MURDER someone. Much better there Tad. They scream and jump up as the SWIPE OF PAIN misses them completely and they bounce off the life raft to safety. Why is Drake wearing is fishing outfit? Can't he wait until tomorrow morning? Never mind that because Drake stops as Gosalyn runs away because he's the OUTDOOR SPORTSMAN OF MAN! Or he's REALLY STUPID! Take your pick here as Drake invokes the LEAD GRIP KUNG FU ACTION SIDE KICK OF DEATH to the bear and the bear's skull is like Dumptruck's skull.
Which is fitting because he's really a dumber bear than Baloo ever was. Which makes Drake even more stupid than normal. Drake does the ouch foot spot of course just to amuse me and he sells a lot better. The giant bear goes for the kill and goes into the bear hug. If this were a wrestling match; every smark on the planet would die from boredom, but it's a cartoon so Drake doesn't sell it as a rest hold. For about three seconds as he sells it like a rest hold now and I die from stupidity since Drake is known to do that to fans. Gosalyn returns with the shovel because she's a smark; I guess. The bear growls in her face and Gosalyn sells...for two seconds as she really MURDERS him with the shovel. The bear does a 360 head spinning spot which is pretty silly to watch as Drake is free from his bondage.
See; I used it in the right context this time as Drake takes another wussy bump onto the ground. Sigh Sun Woo. The bear puts his head on straight as Gosalyn makes a bad comment about it. You know what; Gosalyn is no Max Goof and it shows. So now the bear has got them right where they want him and here comes the trailer OUT OF NOWHERE to MURDER the bear and send it sky high. It's DARKWING...DUCK; don't ask. It's like a Spongebob SquarePants episode where the real person switching off the lights was Dracula which made absolutely NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. I'm tempted to call that logic break #3; but I'll let that one slide. Drake thinks it is over and Drake's worst fears come true because the Muddlefoots have arrived to spoil his party. Gosalyn got to be loving this; but she's even more miserable because it was all Drake's idea. Hey; if that means the Muddlefoots will return the favor Drake gave them in Nightmare of the Living Spud then I'm all for it.
Honker is here; along with Binky and Tank Muddlefoot who is growling and decides to provoke his mean look straight at Drake. Please pound him and wedgie him Tank; after all...say it with me...Drake as a bump machine equals funny. Drake runs off to Herb because he's tamer, I guess. He wants Herb to park away from his campsite and of course Herb blows him off by showing that he's the real OUTDOOR SPORTMAN OF MAN in this episode. It took Tad Stones to finally give the Muddlefoots their due. Are you listening writers of this cartoon? Okay; it's 16 years too late, but someone has to say it. Drake's tiny tent is completely destroyed by the trailer of course and Herb blows Drake off. BWHAHAHAHAHA! I love it that Herb is finally deflating this facade that Drake has been using the whole time. Now Gosalyn's hatred of camping is justified.
Morning arises as Drake and Gosalyn (who is still in la-la land sort of) are carrying the inflatable towards the river as Gosalyn complains about sleeping in. Drake's answer: Because she won't get fresh fish for breakfast and that's an EWWWWWW moment for Gosalyn. At least tell her to fry the fish before you eat it Drake; then it wouldn't be so disgusting. Sadly; as they are walking, the inflatable raft catches onto a tree branch as they are forced to stop. Drake accuses her of dragging her feet as the tree branch snaps (NOT THAT SPOT...Ooops! Wrong spot!) and both Drake and Gosalyn go sailing into the air....like the wind...an easterly wind perhaps..Ah forget it! That joke ad is dead as a doornail as they land perfectly into the river in the inflatable raft which doesn't suffer any damage whatsoever. Now if memory serves me; this would be the point where Gosalyn should snap since Max snapped on Goofy at this point too.
Well serves Tad Stones right if Jymn Magon was cribbing ideas from him since he insulted bear fans everywhere. Gosalyn is in the raft; but Drake is upside down looking underwater for fish in a funny spot. It's good that this is COMEDY BABY because if it were dramatic then I would really have to worry about Jymn Magon's reputation as a quality writer here. We head to the side of the lake as Drake is fishing and getting NOTHING...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Gosalyn is lying on the back of the boat reading the cook book. It's the ham edition of course as Gosalyn gets the second suck reference in a naughty context that doesn't involve Drake's gas gun. Finally; Drake gets a bite just as Gosalyn blows him off. Drake orders for the net; but it's not needed because the giant fish jumps up and almost swallows Drake's head whole. Too funny. And a bit disturbing as well because that fish is GAINT SIZED for this lake.
Must be Larson and Gary's doing here using the fish to inflate them with steroids. Gosalyn invokes the canoe oar and smacks Drake's head and the roided fish as Drake protests this outrage. This is getting too funny now as the giant bear is looking on and we hear Steelbeak's voice commence complete with shovel to threaten the bear. Steelbeak wants this bear to scare them off because Steelbeak is working on a fiendish plan, I guess. He smacks the bear with the shovel and tells him to kill them more or less. The bear growls and Steelbeak tells him to save it for the peanut gallery. OH TAG! Although smacking the bear is pretty funny so Steelbeak has three spots in three episodes that made me laugh. We continue back to the FISH FIGHT UP THE RIVER as Gosalyn pulls the fish off of Drake's head and into the river again. Because even fish cannot be skinned alive in a Disney cartoon or PETA will skin Eisner alive. Drake accuses the fish of beheading him and Gosalyn blows him off in a cute way as the EYES OF DOOM peep at our GANG OF GAG. Drake starts attacking her expertise in fishing as the giant bear jumps from the bushes on the unstable cliff and of course it gives way. Careful Gos; in America French Fries are called Freedom Fri....Oh screw it! The joke is dead as the giant bear falls into the drink which floods the raft with fish. Hey; Gosalyn's chocolate bar actually worked...or not. Thankfully for her; Howard Huge wasn't around to squash her because we all know what happens when a chocolate bar and Howard Huge come together. Gosalyn blows Drake off as the giant bear recovers splashing water everywhere.
Post-Production Glitch #1: Full second black slug...I thought this was going to be a slug free zone?
We head to the campsite as the fish is served on a platter. The Muddlefoots are HAPPY that Gosalyn is sharing the fish with them which shows that Gosalyn is more than willing to put the Muddlefoots over instead of burying them. Binky brings the potatoes to the table asking how she caught them and she blows Drake off with her knowledge of bait. Drake of course is sitting in the loveseat grunting at the television and getting madder by the second. Oh grow up Drake! Gosalyn outsmarted you this time. Just owe up to it and move on. Herb sits in the other loveseat as he watches television with Drake. Drake is really ticked off and then he proceeds to do a really nasty blow off of everything the Muddlefoots stand for because he's a real OUTDOOR SPORTMAN OF MAN you know!
Drake goes onto the wooden stump and proclaims why his way is better than the modern way and of course NOBODY CARES! (and after Respectful Insolence; Drake sounds even more stupid than he already was.) Drake then decides to show Gosalyn how to really live off the land and Gosalyn doesn't like that. Give it up Drake; the modern life has killed any chance for her to enjoy it. Besides; you are very hypocritical because you were loving this life in other episodes. Even Goofy wasn't as bad as Drake is right now...and he's supposed to be even stupider than you too. Gosalyn leaves (since she has to save Drake from himself) as Tank decides to take her share of food left and eating it like a dog. Okay; that was cute as we head into the woods (complete with diagonal scene changer) as Drake is now gone completely insane as he eating plants that he doesn't know if they are poisonous or not.
I'm going to let Drake explain this for us instead since I'm speechless otherwise. Gosalyn has HAD it and decides to run away; but she takes a decent bump right into the FOWL EGGMEN (gleefully pointed out to me by Gosalyn it should be noted) as Steelbeak appears from behind and she's history (so claims Steelbeak) as Fang the giant bear appears from the right side of Steelbeak. Wasn't he Bruno earlier? Logic Break #3 has appeared finally. A minor one; but an annoying one. Okay...Fang backs Gosalyn up against the FOWL EGGMEN as the segment ends almost eighteen minutes in...That was much better now that the Muddlefoots are involved to get over instead of being buried by Drake...However; Steelbeak will be involved soon and this episode will go down soon enough..
After the commercial break; we head to the water geyser as we see the crane putting nuclear warheads into tree stumps while the big ass drills, drill the tree's insides and the hollow tree is put back to hide the missile. Wait a second; let me read that one again (checks over previous sentence.). Okay; that's a pretty creative way to destroy SHUSH and terrorize the world, I give Steelbeak that. Gosalyn is tied up of course which automatically makes Steelbeak better than Taraus Bullba right now as Steelbeak and Fang look at their handiwork. Steelbeak hates nature and fresh air makes him gag. If fresh air makes him gag; why isn't he dead?! I guess it's fuzzy cartoon logic at work here. He invokes the bug spray which kills the butterfly dead. So now Tad Stones' latest attack is on The Smurfs now. Funny; I could have swore that Tad wrote a few episodes of the Smurfs; but he didn't so the joke is dead before it even starts.
Steelbeak grabs a disgusted Gosalyn because she realized that she really isn't any better than Steelbeak is now...or she only wanted to stay away from nature; not kill it. Anyhow; Steelbeak introduces her to Old Reliable; which is the water geyser of course and uses the wooden stake to prop Gosalyn on top of the hole of the water geyser. She has about ten minutes to live more or less. We return to Drake making a joke of himself and he finally turns his back to see that Gosalyn is gone. He would never forgive himself if Gosalyn dies. No crap Sherlock as he invokes the binoculars which usually means a good episode is in sight; but this is DARKWING... DUCK so it's not a sure thing anymore. He finds Steelbeak of course while acting dumb as usual. No crap Sherlock as it's time to get dangerous; which like a Gordon Solie cliché it means that the finish is at hand. We return to Gosalyn just hanging around as she proclaims that Steelbeak will never get away with this. Even Kit never resorted to that line and even Steelbeak AGREES with me on that one. There may be some hope for this Al Capone wannabe. Or maybe not as the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckons at last at 19:44 (which Steelbeak gasps in SHOCK over in a bad way. Nice going Sun Woo.)
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the pestilent blister that bursts in your boot.
EWWWWWWW Drake! Why did you have to cut a promo to remind me of my blisters when I walk for two hours a day?! That is just gross. The smoke cloud beckons behind the two FOWL EGGMEN and THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH! The two FOWL EGGMEN even agree with me on that promo as Drake cracks the two of them together since they are..well...EGGS! Nyuk! Nyuk! He even goes to Gosalyn in the smoke cloud and frees Gosalyn. Oh man; that is just asking for the anti-smoking lobby to put a R-rating on this episode Drake as I'm amazed Gosalyn doesn't die from smoke inhalation because...say it with me...THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH! Steelbeak is ticked off and sics Fang on them once again. This might work as Drake decides to invoke violence with the gas gun.
He clearly wants to forget Night of the Living Spud if he's going to do THAT spot again on wildlife. Drake decides to invoke the flamethrower and it MURDERS Fang. QUICK! CALL PETA...Oh wait; it's only a robot my mistake! Drake decides to take off the kid gloves (which the captions completely miss the take off part for some reason) and it's the return of SQUASH FU for Drake's body. Gosalyn is SHOCKED and appalled (in that order) and she runs off to grab the fishing pole. Let me guess; the finish involves Gosalyn using nature to beat technology. Geez; that's overkill there Gosalyn. Baloo defeated the Auto Avaitor with orange juice so just use that. Drake is a piece of paper as Steelbeak enjoys the music. Well; at least he's not sucking today. Otherwise; it's the usual silly finish from this show with Gosalyn making a campfire to set Steelbeak on fire. Nice selling from Steelbeak though on the spot.
Drake is at the mercy of the ROBOT BEAR OF DOOM. I got to admit that the animators did an excellent job of making sure he was real so I was proven wrong again, sort of. Drake is of course REALLY STUPID (or drunk in this case) as he does the echo spot and Gosalyn is forced to save him from himself with her really good fishing skills. Drake blacks out to indicate that he is drunk after all. Gosalyn uses nature as smelling salts to wake up Drake. I thought smelling salts were too ancient for this cartoon. Drake wakes up in a cough and realizes that Gosalyn was paying attention. Of course she was; she just hates your EGO TRIP MODE ATTITUDE and that's why she left you. Sadly; the ROBOT BEAR OF DOOM is still ready to MURDER Drake. Drake wants to invoke the LEAD GRIP KUNG FU ACTION WEB KICK OF DOOM; but Gosalyn decides to invoke the funny finish that we all knew was coming. You know what it is..You know (James Barber's Snoopy Video Camera nods back with me in agreement).
Yeap; the ROBOT BEAR OF DOOM flies right into the mouth of Old Reliable's hell and that's the end of the robot bear as the two FOWL EGGMEN recover and go after Drake with the guns. However; Drake doesn't waste anything; so he invokes the LEAD GRIP KUNG FU ACTION WEB KICK which misses by another four feet and they still go flying anyway. It's Sun Woo; don't ask. Just move along folks; the finish about thirty seconds away. They collide with Stealbeak and then collide into the arms of the GIANT ROBOT BEAR OF DOOM as they are all stuck at Old Reliable. I just spotted Logic Break #4 because the fat FOWL EGGMEN is no longer in sight. Where did he go?! Bad form there Tad as I suspect that the ten minutes are up for Stealbeak. Stealbeak's hope chest is gone as Old Reliable erupts and Steelbeak and his minions are popped right out of this episode ala Warner Brothers...because the same people who worked on TaleSpin use to work for Warner Brothers and they stolen their spots. Although the Termite Terrence's heat was gone by now so it's no huge loss.
The hat Gosalyn's wearing makes her look older than she should be. Drake then goes into FULL EGO TRIP MODE just because he's DARKWING..DUCK! Gosalyn chimes in because she's now OUTDOOR SPORTSPERSON because we need to be politically correct here don't we? Gosalyn tries the fishing roadwhich ties them up once again in a cute spot to amuse me. Drake blows Gosalyn and she just giggles and grins like she's guilty of something as the episode ends at 21:28. Wow; that was a heck of an effort by Tad Stones here and the result was an enjoyable episode was an okay finish that was silly; but not contrived and it was in the correct context...and good job in making the Muddlefoots look funny for a change; even if it was brief. **** ( 80%)
THE REVIEW LINE
I was hoping for a thumbs in the middle; but this episode exceeded my expectations. Sure; there were some pointless spots and Gosalyn was overbearing at first and her paranoia really grated my nerves. However; when they got to the campsite; it was funny to see Drake being shown that he was nothing but a goof who thought he really knew what he was doing but was not. That made his morality speech so funny because no one really cares about it. That was the beauty of the spot. Plus; the Muddlefoots actually showed up Drake for a change even though their performance was brief. Even Steelbeak didn't suck and I was actually liking him when Gosalyn was acting like a cliché gone too far. The finish was ultra silly; but it was in the correct context and of course the robot bear did manage to redeem himself deep into the second act after being lumped into a really pointless spot in the first act. The only real negatives besides the contrived spot with Gosalyn and the firewood was the usual Sun Woo blown spots (most so Drake's kick at the end) and four logic breaks (including the Phantom Fat FOWL Eggman). Otherwise this was a really good episode. The last episode on Disc 2 is You Sweat Your Life and I remember liking this one too and I think the Muddlefoots are here in full bloom for a change.
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.