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Fossil my butt!
I'm sure someone is amused that I'm doing these rants on this show. So let's rant on shall we...
The episode is written by Marlowe Shawn Weisman and the story has been edited by Duane Capizzi. Her only known credit is writing Aladdin The Animated Series, so this is a surprise to me..Thankfully; this episode is being animated by Kennedy Cartoons.
We begin in THE CITY OF SAINT CANARD at the yellow tower (?!) inside an office where we see a dog lawyer sitting on his desk with his bear sectary (who looks like Rebecca Cunningham on a date which turns ugly) and a letter writer named Maria whom is taking a letter on behalf of Mr. Numero Uno (no relationship to Nigel Uno from Codename KIDS Next Door because Numero Uno a non-violent criminal. He would have to be ultra violent in order to be Nigel's father see, according to Common Sense Media) who is in prison for tax evasion. He still hasn't paid for his defense. The phone rings and Maria answers it; pronouncing themselves as Lawyers Shyster and Loophole. I wondered why Numero Uno lost THAT case?! Rule #1 of being a lawyer: Don't have your last names as Shyster and Loophole. You are just asking for trouble. Maria has the glasses I see which is odd since that would make her a scientist.
Maybe her calling was misguided for some reason. While Maria is answering the phone; the big DINO OF DOOM shows up and basically kidnaps the lawyer right from under her nose. I smell a lawsuit in your future Maria. The person on the phone sounds like Barry Gordan or for people who don't read credits: Donatello from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The 1987 edition. He of course hangs out as the DINO OF DOOM bounces out. Geez; I thought Donatello was above such Baloo like behaviour. That DINO OF DOOM doesn't look like anyone in particular and looks like Steggmutt for some reason. Nah; couldn't be. We all know Steggy's a babyface since we saw him in the two parter. Finally; Maria screams as she sees the Scooby Doo Angel Spot and I cannot blame her. That spot is scary and overkill. And right on cue; the VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckons at 1:47:
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the paper cut that ruins your morning.
And after the smoke cloud (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND MOVIE RATING) clears we see Gosalyn and Honker with him. I guess Launchpad's not available due to contract restrictions. Anyhow; I thought paper cuts put you and the world to sleep. I must be confused this world with Alf's world. Maria blows him off as Daycare Duck and she is automatically over by proxy. Drake is screwed so he whisper yells (yells with a low volume it should be noted) as Honker and Gosalyn for following him. Well; blame Launchpad and his contract talks for them being here Drake. After all; Michael Eisner is known for screwing with series. Ask Rebecca Cunningham about it. Gosalyn comes up with the best excuse for following him: There was NOTHING...AND THE GOS SEZS NOTHING..good on television. Drake cannot follow that up. Drake ushers them away while lying though his teeth. Maria surprisely doesn't blow that off as both Drake and Maria exchange notes which allows Gosalyn to cut a real funny promo on Mr. Uno at Drake's expense of course. Drake doesn't like it because Gosalyn is stealing her heat back that Drake stole in the past 20 episodes or so. Drake blows her off harshly with the STARE OF DOOM and pushes her away.
Drake is full of himself; what a shock?! Honker notices the big ass footprint so he takes a look inside his FOOTNOTES OF DOOM (Get it?! Foot..Notes...Oh forget it!) and realizes that it's caused by the DINO OF DOOM. Well; that would wrap up the case in normal life; but Drake believes that Mr. Uno is responsible for kidnapping them. Honker tries to explain the one clue that would prove Drake wrong while pulling on his gay Zorro cape like Molly pulling on Rebecca's pant leg; but he stutters as usual which prompts Drake and Maria to blow him off. Gosalyn agrees with Drake that Honker is wrong and then proceeds on make up her just as silly culprit as Drake blows her off in kind. Considering that the audience knows that Mr. Uno is in jail; is non-violent and that EVERYONE saw a green dinosaur with red pants enter the room, you would think that Maria and Drake would get it. However; like the Maria in WWE they are both REALLY STUPID. Drake bumps Gosalyn and Honker out of the room harshly and they take wussy bumps in the process. Drake is really asking for it now as Gosalyn tries to get back into Drake's good graces; but the door slams right in her face. Memo to Gosalyn: Drake is REALLY STUPID. Try solving the case yourselves. It gets more laughs at Drake's expense that way.
We head outside in the streets of the CITY OF SAINT CANARD as Honker invokes the magnifying glass to continue following the footprints of the DINO OF DOOM. Gosalynn continues to complain. Is this pod Gos we are going to get here?! I thought Gosalyn was ready for a mystery here? Honker wants to continue on because they are dinosaur prints. Gosalyn blows it off because dinosaurs do not exist anymore. You can tell this one came before Just Us Justice Ducks in the production order. Honker does me proud by answering the question of what they are. The only other person in this would be a fat mallard; but Doofus Drake is still too small to do those kind of prints anyway. So we head to the Saint Canard prison of leisure as two dogspeople convicts in stripe uniforms and matching hats are playing golf and a woman PA just cracks me up by thanking the convicts for not escaping. That is just awesome as we head to a rhino fury complete with ball and chain playing golf as well. No matching hat here. The caddy is a dingo like fury wearing Kit's baseball cap over his eyes. Ah; he must have thought Baloo's spot from Bad Reflection On You Part One was amusing I see..
He's also holding the ball & chain which adds creditability to my theory on that subject. The Thunder Quack is above them; so I assume DARKWING..DUCK is spying on him and he's Mr. Uno. The obvious problem is right there: His feet are much too small to make that print. Drake wants to nab him..IN PRISON! Yes; Drake is REALLY STUPID and his Elasto suspenders promo was just behind him on that pace. I see Launchpad is here after all. I guess the contract talks ended well and he's back to work. Drake dives down and makes his appearance behind them while cutting a full of himself promo in the process. I should point out that SquareEnix couldn't use sever as one of Cayenne's attacks in Final Fantasy VI Advance; but Drake could twice at least. No wonder purists hate anime dubs. The snaps think Drake is REALLY STUPID and they won't release him from bondage. HEE HEE! Sadly; Drake is screwed as he grabs the tree and the device snaps back as Drake takes a wussy bump right against the roof of the Thunder Quack as the tree takes a better bump. Okay; that was pretty cute as we head to the museum and to the dinosaur demonstration with Gosalyn and Honker with the ceiling to floor which forces the crack Disney captions team to use the top of the screen for a change.
At least they didn't do something REALLY STUPID like put the name of the episode on top of the episode title card in Double Darkwings; or I still wouldn't stop laughing. Gosalyn and Honker look around unaware that Steggmutt is chewing gum at one of the displays. He blows a bubble and it pops right into his face for the cheap kid's heat as we see Honker looks at the dinosaur fossils with the magnifying glass as Gosalyn blows him off for suggesting that the DINO OF DOOM is him. Now we head to a shot of the 12 TABLESPOON SUGARY LIQUID MACHINE OF DEATH as Steggy inserts a coin in it and chooses the soda. I guess the burping soda is too taboo for Disney right now. Funny thing about Disney animation today: Less violence; more burping and wedgies. It still adds to forbidden content.
The can doesn't come out of course so Steggy does what every child does in this situation: invoke the DON KARNAGE BONKING OF DOOM. Which is enough to cause Gosalyn and Honker to wonder at least which is an 1000% improvement over Drake's way. Gosalyn thinks it's the lawyer nappers. Umm..no Gosalyn. Just one as Steggy still cannot get his can of soda. So he invokes the SLAM MACHINE DROP OF DOOM on it and finally it gives him his soda. Steggy is happy as he grabs the soda; but he scatters as Gosalyn and Honker go to the soda machine and there are more footprints; which look like four claws instead of three. Logic Break #1 for the episode. Hey; it's a new writer and so far, he/she hasn't done anything REALLY STUPID...yet...
Speaking of characters who are REALLY STUPID; we head back to the Thunder Quack as Drake gets some oil from Launchpad on his JUST AS STUPID STRAPS OF SEVERING DOOM. Launchpad suggests landing the Thunder Quack but Drake blows him off because he's REALLY STUPID. This is like shooting fish in a barrel; both ways for Drake. Death reference #1 ensues as he's nearing Rebecca Cunningham's levels of pigheadedness . Drake dives down as we see Mr. Uno and his trophy caddy in the swimming pool resting on the inflatable raft. And of course; the EXACT SAME THING HAPPENS to him. Mr. Uno wakes up and teases thinking he heard Drake before swimming over to get his sunscreen. Too funny as Drake holds onto the swimming pool ladder. Mr. Uno and Caddy walk out of the swimming pool as Caddy is all wet as usual.
The same thing occurs as Drake is pulled up; but he drops the swimming pool in the process. Those JUST AS STUPID STRAPS OF SEVERING DOOM are tough if Drake can hold an entire swimming pool hostage for three seconds. Drake takes the wussy bump into the roof of the Thunder Quack of course which forces Launchpad to step in to stop him from himself. Sadly; the straps finally come loose and Drake free-fall and takes an ultra-wussy bump onto the dirt below and Logic Break #2 (and one I don't accept) ensues as the pool falls right on top of him. And the pool bump on Drake was ultra-wussy as well. I don't know what Marlowe was thinking on that spot since Drake should have fell into the water of the falling swimming pool instead since the swimming pool FELL FIRST before Drake FELL SECOND. Duane Capizzi should have noticed that major gaffe. We head back to the museum as we get the various shots of dinosaurs and Steggy doing a goofy pose as Gosalyn and Honker are right beside him. Honker still cannot find the lawyer napper as Gosalyn finds the soda can and opens it which sprays the 12 TABLESPOONS OF SUGARY LIQUID OF DEATH right into Steggy's face.
Too funny and nice CONTINUITY from Marlowe so at least he/she hasn't lost her mind completely like Chuck Tately can. Gosalyn walks away to recycle the can as Steggy does the sneezing spot as Gosalyn puts the can into the recycling bin and of course the impact MURDERS the DINO DISPLAY OF DOOM on his left. Gosalyn and Honker notice and both are of course frightened by it. Steggy blows his nose and apologizes which is enough for Gosalyn to do the Scooby/Shaggy scared spot and then that logically leads to the Scooby Doo chase spot. Honker is Scrappy Doo I see as he's being carried by Gosalyn. Well; Honker is infinite times better than Scrappy; so I'm game. Steggy bounces after them and causes about $500,000 in damages in the process while apologizing to the stuff he destroyed. Too funny as Gosalyn pushes the up triangle on the elevator (because it was there) and they enter inside. Steggy trips on the PHANTOM BANANA PEEL OF DOOM (okay he tripped on his own claws), floats about ten feet in the air and than takes a decent bump right on his face. Too funny as Gosalyn thinks she's safe inside; but Steggy takes a good bump against the elevator door and rips it open.
He apologizes of course which makes it funnier. Honker gets the educational line of the episode as Steggy blows it off because he's supposed to be a janitor. Steggmutt introduces himself and makes it funny while introducing Doctor Fossil. He is so dense; but so funny as well. Gosalyn shakes hands while the GANG OF GAG introduces themselves. Steggy is so HAPPY (and is inside the elevator; but no logic break there since it's fully opened) that he answers Gosalyn by claiming that he only uses it to open sodas. Don't worry Steggy; you'll be using it for other purposes soon. Steggy wonders why the babyfaces is here and Honker of course stutters as usual. Steggy bounces around and offers to show them a science project that they would never forget. The babyfaces agree (Gosalyn actually with Honker stuttering.) and Steggy closes the elevator door and they go up or down depending on what mood Marlowe was in.
Back to the REALLY STUPID Drake Mallard as the Thunder Quack is hovering over the prison as Drake dives down with the ANVIL OF NEIDHARTS because he's REALLY STUPID and becoming sadistically funny. Mr. Uno is cooking lunch on the BBQ as Drake falls behind them and calls for Mr. Uno to surrender. Sadly; the STRAPS OF SEVERING DOOM sever Drake's clothes and he's NAKED AS A JAYBIRD. FANSERVICE! FANSERVICE! SHIELD YOUR EYES! Okay; it doesn't have the punch of Vowel Play since a 12 year kid saw Baloo strip in front of him (unintentionally of course); but still it show just how the Emperor of Crime fighting truly has no clothes when it comes to this case. We head to the hideout as the elevator stops with a wussy thud and a ding which would make ATM cardholders shudder with fear as Gosalyn, Honker and Steggy walk out the door and into the dungeon as Steggy calls out for Doctor Fossil and here he is as a pterosaurs with the glasses and wearing just blue pants. Doctor Fossil blows Steggy off right away and yells at him for failing to bring circus elephants.
He has Barry Gordan's voice so he's the crank caller by default. It was predictable; but whatever. Steggy takes it like a dense dino and introduces Gosalyn and Honker. Doctor Fossil yells at him back which pretty much seals him as a heel. Steggy wants to show them the new invention and of course Doctor Fossil does Baloo's cover Kit's mouth with his hand spot which actually works here for a change. Fossil denies it and Steggy decides to show them anyway. Fossil tries to tell Steggy not to tell him secret; but Steggy increases my love by showing the babyfaces Fossil's new RETRO-EVOLUTION GUN OF REBIRTH. I think you know what it does just by reading the actual title of the gun. Gosalyn is confused of course and uses French just to confuse me even more and Steggy wants to explain it. For a dense dinosaur like Steggy; he knows more than he's telling. Fossil demands that Steggy not tell them anymore. So Steggy tells them anyway that it reheats leftovers and turns people to dinosaurs. I suspect Steggy wasn't supposed to be a dinosaur and neither was Doctor Fossil since 99.9% dinosaurs in this world don't talk.
Doctor Fossil is screwed..badly..as Steggy goes to the gate as he pulls the LEVER (WRONG LEVER!) and breaks it. Steggy apologizes as Doctor Fossil blows him off again. Steggy's pulls the iron curtain and it does a MAN-SIZED bump in the process which makes Kennedy Cartoons look like Sun Woo is now. Doctor Fossil is really upset because it shows a prison full of ice show penguins, rock musicians, tax attorneys which are all turned into dinosaurs...and Honker invokes the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and the POINTY FINGER OF DOOM to reveal that they are Shyster and Loophole. Steggy admits that he is their friend which basically blows his cover as the kidnapper right there and make Drake look REALLY STUPID. Hey; I love Steggy; what's your point as Gosalyn sezs to Doctor Fossil. Doctor Fossil gets off educational line #2 for the episode; explaining the basics of the Big Bang Theory.
I would love to see him debate the Intelligent Designers and Creationists. It would make for a fun two hours or so and I would watch it; even on reruns; just for the heck of it. THE POINT: The comet from Time Bandit will make it's second appearance on a Disney show tonight..THE POINT: Steggy, Gosalyn and Honker ignore him as Steggy opens another soda. It's so funny because I get another soda and ignore every hardcore gamer who continue to spew nonsense about Nintendo being doomed and all that crap. Fossil tells Steggy to check the light in the bathroom again and Steggy blows him off while drinking soda. Fossil tells him to make sure of that and that's enough for Steggy to run away complete with Hanna Barbera Looping Effect and Running Sound Effect. Now you know you are watching a classic Kennedy Cartoon. And so Doctor Fossil explains THE POINT which involves a super-magnet so he can bring back the dinosaurs more or less with anthro abilities. I think.
Gosalyn blows him off because it would wipe out mankind. I think he's getting to the point why he wants to play God here and it's really a stupid one. Considering that other than Steggy; Doctor Fossil is pretty much average size. I think he's upset because he whizzed on someone's lawn. Honker suggests a real solution: Turn yourself back into an anthroman. Doctor Fossil blows that off as he shows various stuff to prove that he doesn't get any respect. Considering that there are only two dinos left; you're out of order Fossil. Steggy returns and eats the fruit snack dinosaur and wants his soda back. Fossil orders him to get the RETRO-GUN OF DOOM while taking his snacks away. What a meanie?! Fossil does his evil stare right down at the babyfaces as he wants to turn Gosalyn and Honker into dinosaurs as Steggy has the RETRO-GUN OF DOOM and aims it right at the babyfaces to end the segment 12 and a quarter minutes in. Well; this is pretty okay so far....
After the commercial break; Steggy is ready to turn the babyfaces (who are more scared than timid bunnies in a TMNT 1987 episode) into the DINOS OF DOOM; but the alarm beckons and Steggy will have to wait; because it's time to steal the SUPER-MAGNET OF DOOM. BOOM BANG! Geez; it should only take three seconds to finish off the GANG OF GAG. Why stop there?! Anyhow we return to the CITY OF SAINT CANARD as the Rat Catcher is still on the streets as Drake is driving and being full of himself as usual. Launchpad tries to explain that Honker has something since LP didn't see the FOOTPRINT OF DOOM and therefore is Logic Break #3 for the episode. Drake blows him off as we see Steggy's driving a truck! Well; Steggmutt is a former janitor duck turned into a dinosaur so it's in the correct context. The last thing we need is a real 12 year old kid driving a car like a steamroller. Steggy asks for directions for Camp Canard and Drake gets them to him without incident. Yeah; Drake is REALLY STUPID as Steggy leaves when the light turns green. Drake of course gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as Launchpad comments on expired plates..and Drake proclaims he got directions from the wrong motorist as the light turns red just as Drake motors into the middle of the crossing block and causes the silliest traffic pileup I have ever seen with Drake getting through of course. Really bad form there Kennedy as we return to the castle as Fossil does his spot of crank calling with the payphone (To prevent him from being traced. Smart move criminal mind.) and this time it's Camp Canard's turn to get screwed as an army dogsperson guarding the super-magnet answers the CRANK CALLER OF DOOM and Steggy enters and exits with super magnet in tow. Well; the authority figures in this cartoon are more stupid than Drake so this is to be expected.
Steggy causes about $100,000 in damages on that spot as we see him walk in the empty streets of SAINT CANARD as the Rat Catcher drives towards it and Drake sees Steggy on his left. Sadly; the Rat Catcher sputters and goes dead as it is out of gas (along with the METER POINT OF EMPTIES.). Launchpad admit that he forgot to refill the tank with gas and Drake is screwed once again. Drake hops out and invokes the roller skates and use his cheap magnet gun in order to be on him like a cheap suit. His promos are as stupid as his MIMI JOKE ZONE PLANS as he rockets right into a car; dodges it only to take an ultra wussy bump into a bus. Oh God Kennedy; you can do better than that! More shots of Steggy carrying the super magnet in the streets of SAINT CANARD as he stop in front of the red light. He's tired; but he stops because he doesn't break the law. Unless it's stealing, kidnapping and doing obscene amount of damage to property of course as the green light beckons and he walks off as Drake passes him with sticking to the magnet at all. Well; they do say that the same poles repel; so it's works in the proper context. We head back to Doctor Fossil's lab as the babyfaces are in jail as Fossil notices the red dot on the scream chasing Steggmutt in a bad way on the radar. How did Drake get a sensor?! Okay; it might not be a logic break since Fossil hooked it up to find anthros to zap.
So I'll let that one slide. Drake bounces around the CITY OF SAINT CANARD taking MAN-SIZED bumps off every light pole in the city. Fossil blows Drake off because he's REALLY STUPID and Drake proves that as we see him on the train tracks stuttering worse than Honker ever did and of course the MIDNIGHT EXPRESS OF DEATH shows up in front of him (complete with train eyes spot) and he takes a wussy bump right on it. Oy vey Kennedy as we return to Steggmutt again finding the soda machine and putting the super magnet down which takes a MAN-SIZED bump on the pavement. No one accused Steggy of being a mental giant; that's for sure as Drake is still all right after that stupid bump as he finally sticks to the super magnet while Steggy puts changes into it. Drake is really drunk now as Steggy grabs the super magnet (while carrying his soda no less) back to the museum. He doesn't suspect a thing...
We head to the museum as Steggy puts the super magnet on the roof and Doctor Fossil checks out the blueprints as Drake looks on. Of course; instead of hanging on and coming up with a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN; he invokes the magnet release and free-falls right in front of him taking a MAN-SIZED bump in the process. Yeah; he's REALLY STUPID as he invokes the gas gun and tells Fossil to suck gas. The gas cloud barrels towards Fossil; but Fossil stops it with the ASTHMA OF DEATH. That was too funny as it bounces back right into Drake's kisser. See Drake; think of a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN before you tell someone with asthma to suck gas. Fossil uses the dinosaur wings to create a whirlwind which is apporos since Drake and Fossil are hyper ventilating windbags. It also creates the snowstorm as Drake struggles to get close to Fossil. We head to the DUNGEON OF DOOM as Steggy walks towards the caged babyfaces as Gosalyn tells Steggy that Fossil doesn't care about turning people into dinosaurs; he cares about wiping out mankind.
Steggy blows it off in his usual dense world because Fossil's a nice man and would NEVER do anything like that. Gosalyn blows him off as he gets Honker to demonstrate the whole thing. Honker pulls out the blackboard which is bigger than his own body weight (DEAR LORD; how did he hide that thing?! Logic Break #3 for the episode) and explains the whole thing which is way over the kids heads of course. He's Honker the scientist; what did you expect? It's basically means the earth is destroyed and no more sandwich cookies for Steggy. Steggy growls at that after being confused by Honker's complex speaking (nice to see Honker learn from Kit) and rips open the cage with his bare hands. Well; he's about 300 pounds; so it should be easy to do. Steggy agrees to help stop Fossil as we return to the roof where the windbag convention MUST CONTINUE!
Fossil is winning this one of course as Steggy, Gosalyn and Honker enter from the roof. Gosalyn yells and that's enough for Fossil to stop the windbag convention. And it was going so well too as Fossil blows off Steggy for failure to turn the babyfaces into dinosaurs. Drake dances around drunk for a few moments and then runs and attacks Steggy! Say it with me; Drake is REALLY STUPID as Honker tells him to stop punching him. After all; Steggy is doing NOTHING to defend himself and is no-selling the whole thing. Sadly; Steggy has the RETRO-GUN OF DOOM and it zaps out; doing a few bounce off objects spots before hitting Drake so hard he flies off the roof and right into the oil to end the segment a little over 17 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we get a patho scene where Steggy apologizes for MURDERING Drake and Gosalyn is almost ready to cry. However; in the very same scene Gosalyn points down and of course Drake rises from the oil and is the GIANT DINO DUCK OF DEATH! Steggy is afraid and bails behind his master Doctor Fossil. Fossil blows Drake off because he's the real windbag of this episode. Drake realizes what he is and does about ten million dollars in damage to upstage Steggy I guess. Honker and Gosalyn slap skin and proclaims he's alive as Steggy does the same thing around Doctor Fossil. Too funny as Doctor Fossil is ready to MURDER Drake because Cleanser's Comet has made his appearance. I'm sure someone in DTVA land is going to use this as evidence that TaleSpin and Darkwing Duck are in the same world as Ducktales.
We see the control panel with about 30 buttons and of course he pushes the black button which is nowhere NEAR the button panel. Sigh as the SUPERMAGNET OF DOOM starts up and it misses the COMET by about three miles but still it's enough to make it...fly away from the planet?! Kennedy Cartoons is as REALLY STUPID as Drake is NOW! Fossil tries to escape by flying down to ground level and walking away; but Drake stops him with the giant ass leg and even in DINO OF DOOM MODE he's still full of himself...and that logically leads to the SLOW SCOOBY DOO CHASE OF DOOM as Drake cuts his dangerous promo. Didn't Marlowe realize that Fossil is faster than Drake? Oh well; fuzzy cartoon logic as we get a charming moment of the babyfaces trying to stop the SUPERMAGNET OF DOOM; but Steggy breaks the lever (WRONG LEVER!) of course complete with apology.
Gosalyn bullies Honker for a solution and Honker goes into his science notebook and it's getting nowhere as the COMET OF CLEANSING falls towards earth making Kennedy look even worse. We head into the STREETS OF SAINT CANARD as the city people scatter and scream because Godzilla is here and it's DARKWING..DUCK. Fossil blows Drake off taunting him because he's a dinosaur and Drake returns the favor. Drake tries to uses the SWIPES OF PAIN; but Fossil is way too fast to be caught. Whirlwind spot ensues which causes another $30 million dollars in damage. If this were Powerpuff Girls; Drake would be in jail after he returns to normal; but this is COMEDY BABY so it won't happen. Fossil bails as Drake gets up and stomps around with flame daggers in his eyes; but the phone rings and Drake foolishly answers it. It's Fossil crank calling once again. I thought Baloo was the master crank caller of DTVA?! Well; live and learn unless your in THE CITY OF SAINT CANARD. Then you just live. Fossil blows him off and then invokes the RETRO GUN OF DOOM which misses Drake by about 50 feet. Drake does a horrible raspberry back as all windbags do; so Fossil does it again and only misses by ten feet as Drake falls into the buildings causing another $50 million in damages. And they say Steggy is the destroyer of buildings in this series?
Fossil gets on Drake's gaint knee , points the RETRO GUN OF DOOM at point blank range and calls Drake an amoeba. Oooo; I'm sure the Creationists are shaking in their boots seeing that spot. NOT! We return to the roof as Honker explains the whole thing which nobody under 12 would get as Steggy proclaims that he's going to miss them. The comet arrives as it's snowing right on them. We finally get Honker's full name after 25 episodes: Herbert Muddlefoot Jr. which explains why Honker and Herb wear basically the same gear. Gosalyn wants THE POINT and Honker gives it to her: Move the magnet. Steggy offers to do it and the babyfaces said yes. Steggmutt jumps onto the super magnet crane and moves the super magnet up enough so that the comet goes into a hyperbole and it pushes it into space once again. The city is saved due to a dinosaur. How ironic as Fossil realizes that Steggy just screwed him.
The RETRO GUN OF DOOM flies out of his hands (It's made of metal you see) and Fossil is dragged towards the super magnet. Drake is relived until he the cruise ship arrives and manages to give him a buzz cut on his head. Drake is relived and then he takes the anchor to his head which was ultra-wussy and contrived. So logically; Drake over-sells it and is knocked out. Gosalyn, Honker and Steggy have a bonding moment as we have about 75 seconds left in the episode, more or less. Steggy wants the RETRO GUN OF DOOM and it hits Steggy right in the noggin with a MAN-SIZED bump. I believe this is Steggy's face turn now as Fossil protests Steggy's face turn and takes another ultra wussy bump into the cruise ship. It's official: Kennedy is worse than Sun Woo. Fossil hope chest is gone as he sees the super magnet and it basically squashes him like a grape jelly sandwich. Good bump there though as Fossil is finished.
We see that Fossil is all tied up as he goes into his windbag promo and Drake blows him off cutting a windbag promo of him own. Gosalyn corrects him; which takes about two attempts before he finally gets the RETRO GUN OF DOOM because he wants to make sure that it is safe. After all; there are lawyers present to sue if it doesn't. Steggy fires the RETRO GUN OF DOOM at Drake with him closing his eyes which assures that it will NEVER work and it comes to pass as Drake turns into a catfish. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Steggmutt apologizes for that (Yeah right sure?!) as the CIRCLE FADE TO BLACK occurs. Drake stops it to inform the audience to keep him away from tartar sauce just to get one more promo as the episode ends at 21:06. I just cannot give this episode an excellent mark because of Kennedy's blown spots. Very well written episode; ultra bad animation from Kennedy. *** 3/4 ( 75%)
THE REVIEW LINE
I wasn't expecting a great episode from Marlowe; but she actually delivered despite a couple of gaping logic breaks caused by her writing and really terrible spot blowing by Kennedy Cartoon, most so the one where Drake oversold the anchor to the head despite being a giant dinosaur and the bump was really wussy. I thought that this would be a thing of the past now that Sun Woo wasn't animating this episode. I was wrong of course. However; the story itself was pretty good and even though it was clear right from the start that Steggmutt was the kidnapper; Drake was funny enough to make me love him for being stupid as usual. Steggmutt was awesome as I expected; I just wish the episode was better animated though. Doctor Fossil was as good foil for Drake's windbag promos; but he's only appeared once and that is that for him. This series needs a windbag villain (besides NegaDuck) that will go beyond this episode. I guess Ammonia Pine is the one and she's in the next rant I'll be doing. After that; it's the final episode of Volume 1 of Darkwing Duck which I don't think I'm going to like. Overall; a good episode marred by bad animation. If the spots hit; it would be a **** ½ episode easily. Otherwise; it's a......
.....thumbs in the middle pointing up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.
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