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Whiffle While You Work
Reviewed: 10/14/2007
This is pure irony at it's best..
Well; I finally decided to do my rant after a full week of MUGEN episodes to get the awfully cold taste out of my mouth from Isis Vanderchill. Now this episode is one of my all time favorites because it contains two of my favorite pastimes: Seeing Quackerjack and playing videogames. How does this episode do? Let's rant on shall we...
The episode is written by the thrilling duet writers of Evan Svaco and Colleen Taber returning to form from Bringing Down Babyface while the story is edited by Duane Capizzi. I don't know who is worse at animation: Sun Woo or Kennedy since Kennedy is doing this one.
We begin inside Drake's house as Drake in regular street clothes does some feather dusting with the feather duster. And of course he is dusting a pink and blue fragile vase which should take about five seconds to shatter as Gosalyn yells out and Drake of course is distracted as the vases shatter on the floor upon impact. HA HA! Gets him every time. We cut to see Gosalyn on the couch playing her joystick which the critics say is a phallic symbol and thus the reason why the industry gets no respect. Gosalyn is actually showing signs of vigor which is better than today when video gamers are sitting on their duffs and looking like zombies. Unless you buy a Wii; then you are so crazy that hurting yourself is a fun sport. We cut to the television screen as we see a bald space marine with a blue helmet, yellow suit (complete with red W on front), blue gloves, blue underwear, blue boots and packing a pistol on a blue background and pink floor. He looks like Megavolt's long lost good cousin which the writers inserted to make us think Megavolt is starring in this episode. It might actually work for a change. He is known as Whiffle Boy and he walks over in typical choppy 16-bit fashion as we see a weasel furry in green and black (complete with green mask) in shock (without actually looking at Whiffle Boy) and freezes. The game sounds are downright funny which is apporos in the 8 bit era. Gosalyn must be a Sega Genesis fan.
Whiffle Boy absolutely MURDERS Weasel Kid with the RAY PISTOL OF DEATH and Weseal Kid burns to ashes. This game somehow would still get a E10+ rating from the ESRB if it was released here today. In the past; this would be M rated material. And then to raise the funny levels; the voice actress comes out to say: Happy Trails, Weasel Kid. Whiffle Boy wins again. That absolutely cracks me up for probably all the wrong reasons; which probably means it was intentional on the writers part. Gosalyn gets to proceed to the next level as Gosalyn appears to say King instead of Keen Gear! Now you know this game is rotting her brain if she cannot say her catchphrase properly. Gosalyn nearly kills Drake's beak as Drake was hiding behind the couch. That should end the debate of the past video games not hurting people while playing them. Another example of trying to FUD Wii as Drake comes from the couch and asks Gosalyn about her homework. Gosalyn blows it off because she's in the semi finals of the Whiffle Boy video game competition. A note to ponder: This episode aired while the Super Mario World tournment was being played in malls across North America right about this time. I wonder what the writers were doing when they thought about this idea. Considering how bad the last episode rant was; I'm game for something like this. No matter how silly it will end up being.
She even unveils the entry form (complete with ribbons) while showing anime lines just to show that Kennedy Cartoons can do anime as cheaply as Toei can in Dragon Ball Z. See; if she wins; she moves on to Whiffle Town for the finals. Geez; I wonder if the mayor of that town knows about this game; and does he/she have any stroke to condemn the game like the church did when Resistance: Fall of Man decided to use a well known church in England as a battle ground? Points to ponder in the episode. Gosalyn then plops down onto the couch, blows off Drake Mallard (YAY!) and continues to play as Whiffle Boy is chasing Weasel Kid through an building with his gun which has now turned into a ray gun. Usually; games get more forbidden as a game goes on. This is the first game I have seen that does it the other way around. Drake of course like the uncaring parent that he is (I'm being sarcastic here; but Drake deserves to be screwed), uses the dreaded remote control to turn off the game. OH SCREW YOU DRAKE MALLARD! You deserve to be blown off after the last episode; so take it like a man and LIKE IT! Gosalyn protests this outrage (YIPPEEE!) and Drake blows her off and sends her to her room to do homework because too many video games will rot your brain. I think Satrou Iwata might have something to say about that...
We head to Gosalyn's room as Gosalyn takes the green math book to do math problems because multiple choice problems are down to a fine art. He goes into the books and writes on them as I suspect that Drake will be paying for damages on the books after this one. All she can think about is Whiffle Boy...and somehow manages to get her history trivialized as a result. Sadly; Brain Age is not around at about this time; so Drake's rot on brains is pretty much valid. At least the writers are not making the whole video games are bad for you thing completely contrived and forced because goodness knows if they would be accused of double standards in their creation of a cartoon (which has enough stigma as it is) since video games are eating away at their precious income. It's the old Vinnie Mac offense: Don't understand something? Mock it. Gosalyn's making a simple compound for science spot is downright funny and once again Disney shows the silly stereotype of babyface science people wearing the goofy glasses. She puts the flask into the oven and waits three seconds to pull out the FUDGE CAKE OF FAILURE! HA HA! And homework is done so sezs Gosalyn Mallard. So it's back to playing Whiffle Boy behind Drake Mallard's back again. We are in a ripoff level of Super Mario Brothers 3 as Weasel Kid burns to ashes again...and of course the announcer completely cracks me up by telling Weasel Kid to suck eggs. WOW! I didn't think the writers would get away with THAT one (Note From The Future: I betcha those critics of Fanboy & Chum Chum look really stupid now if they read this rant.) . Then again; they got away with Kit saying OH MY GOD; so this is not that unusual.
Oh wait; it's Drake Mallard playing video games now. Now that is funny for some odd reason that I cannot put my finger on..Oh wait! It's Drake's REALLY STUPID victory pose. Deep down inside; we know Drake Mallard doesn't have a life and this spot proves it. So Drake earns the fudge cake to the face as Gosalyn is leaning against the wall looking really ticked off and urge to kill Drake in a game of Whiffle Boy is rising..With Drake as Weasel Kid of course. Gosalyn rightfully blows Drake off for using the poorest excuse in the history of Saint Canard in order to play video games himself. Drake tries to defend himself by revealing the remote control claiming that he is trying to find something educational. Sadly; Brain Age is not around to save his butt from the WRAITH OF THE FUTURE WHIFFLE BOY CHAMPION! Gosalyn goes over and sneaks her hand into Drake's shirt to find the entry form! UH OH!
You pissed her off now Drake Mallard! See; Drake has no real life (and the weak laugh track in the background proves my point right there) so he has entered into the contest just to screw over Gosalyn. For what reason is still unclear at this point. Gosalyn blows off Drake's defensive crud because he should be fighting crime. Drake counters by claiming that it is a slow crime week. If only Drake Mallard. Drake plops himself on the couch and claims that he'll stop playing once he gets a call. So the telephone rings and Drake answers it by blowing off the caller and hanging up. Must be Baloo crank calling Drake now. Which is fine because Drake's a naughty little boy. Drake blows it off as if nothing happened...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING HAPPENED. Too funny. Gosalyn doesn't buy that response at all and rightfully so.
Diagonal scene changer and we head to a green painted factory as we head inside to see two dog furies looking at the QUACKERJACK JACK IN-THE BOX OF DEATH wonder how it got inside despite Quackerjack Toys going out of business years ago. The top pops and of course the spring reveals Quackerjack blowing off Whiffle Boy because Whiffle Boy disrupted his company into death. Take a picture Sustainers; this is what is going to happen to Sony and Microsoft if Nintendo disruption succeeds in full bloom. And why would you open that thing and admit that it's from Quackerjack? Then again; the police officers in Saint Canard are stupider than Drake; what a surprise. Quacky continues to blow off Whiffle Boy (while bouncing around like a goof and somehow Kennedy doesn't blow any of the spots here) and despite my lack of sympathy for Sony and Microsoft; I do have sympathy for Quackerjack here. Because he's the funniest madman in DARKWING...DUCK!! Quacky blows the whistle (to put all whistle blowers to shame) and laughs as he finally invokes my favorite catchphrase in DARKWING...DUCK history: It's playtime!! The wall featuring a poster of Whiffle Boy (which Quacky blew off the entire time) breaks completely destroying the poster and in comes the giant CYMBAL BASHING GORILLA TOY OF DEATH!
The police officer uncork their pistols and start shooting bullets into the gorilla toy's red eyes; but no dice. The GORILLA TOY OF DEATH decides that he's ticked off enough and invokes the CYMBALS OF DEATH to MURDER the thin police officer dead. Never tick off a gorilla; did anyone learn from seeing Donkey Kong in Super Smash Brothers Melee?! Sadly; Mario isn't around because the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT is just dying to be used in this episode. Quacky laughs it up of course because seeing a police officer getting squished flatter than Alexander the Grape is pretty funny. Too bad this episode would be banned in Washington State if it ever was a video game. Quack then bounces around singing a so bad it's funny song which is sadly too violent for Binky to sing badly. It ends with the fat police officer getting tied up with the skipping rope. The CYMBAL GORILLA OF DEATH destroys the toys like a Sustainer gamer who goes into a video game store and takes games that help with your life instead of entrancing you into the digital womb and throwing them into a bonfire and then taking person who loves said games into the bonfire.
The difference: The Sustainer is too stupid not to eliminate the authority figures who will douse his bonfire and drown him in water before wrapping the gamer up into the straight jacket and being taken to the hospital. Only to be tormented by Doctor Sean Malstorm later on. The fat police officer is clearly a fan of disruption as he blows off Quacky's actions. Quackerjack hears the police officer talk about the contest at the mall; and then refers to Mr. Banana Brain as he agrees that this is the best chance to MURDER Whiffle Boy for good. Playtime is over so sez Quackerjack as he places the MR. BANANA BRAIN BOMB OF DOOM next to the police officer and leaves as it ticks away. We cut to outside as Quackerjack gets out and of course the bomb explodes destroying the entire factory in one fell swoop. Of course; since this is Disney, the ANTI-KILL BOMB OF DOOM is used here; so the police officers are all right as they are merely hurt and covered with soot and clothes torned. Even the GORILLA CYMBAL BASHER OF DOOM gets it as well. So much for Quacky having real friends here. The fat police officer admits that he needs to find a new line of work and then the police officers get MURDERED by the GIANT SYMBOLS OF DEATH! Okay; that was pretty nutty to say the least.
We head to the mall which looks like a hotel rather than a real mall. Bad form there Kennedy as we cut to Gosalyn playing the arcade version of Whiffle Boy (check the red arcade cabient) on a stage and she is in the lead so sezs a male dogsperson and a female dogsperson with her. They are wearing matching color clothes and wearing the glasses which shows that they are stereotypical nerds. Well; not quite since they would have to be at least 100 pounds heavier for that to happen. Gosalyn waves to her public at large as she gets a decent pop out of it. She's finished her work as the female announcer announces that Drake Mallard is next as Drake takes the stage and somehow doesn't cut a full of himself promo while doing it. Now you know this episode is going to rule.
Gosalyn blows off Drake Mallard thinking that he sucks and Drake blows her off in kind. Drake tries to press a button to start and the arcade cabinet explodes right in Drake's face. Now that is funny for some perverted reason and the female announcer cracks me up again. Gosalyn touches Drake and blows him off in kind. Okay; that's just being mean now as we cut over to the stuffed teddy bear who just happens to have the plunger (How anyone missed that; I'll never know...nor care...) in front of him. Take one guess who it is inside....The zipper on the teddy's tummy opens and IT'S PLAYTIME! It never goes out of style. Gosalyn wonders who it is; and Drake blows him off for ruining his game. No kidding?! Drake sneaks away to the mop closet as the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM finally rears his ugly head five minutes in. He enters the broom closet while cutting his first full of himself promo and then the dreaded smoke cloud (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND MOVING RATING!) beckons at 5:28:
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the bubble gum that...clings to your...shoe? (Drake is stuck in a steel box).
Quackerjack doesn't like this despite the funny spot because he wants DARKWING..DUCK to stay out of his business with Whiffle Wimp as he calls him. The announces are SHOCKED to here that one. Drake asks the obvious question of what did Whiffle Boy ever do to hurt him and Quacky gleefully answers that one for me. Drake's heart doesn't bleed for him of course and he uses his lame karate moves to get the steel bucket out his webfoot to show how really lame he is become. Quackey finds the HOOLA-HOOP OF DOOM (a green one of course to match the color from the factory he destroyed earlier) and throws it at Drake which allows Drake to cut a full of himself promo. Quacky therefore punishes thee with the MOTORIZED HOOLA-HOOP OF DOOM which basically screws up Drake's insides big time. That'll shut him up as Quackerjack sings another so bad it's funny song to amuse me before invoking the MOTORIZED POGO STICK OF DOOM to escape..I think..as Drake is helpless against the green hoola-hoop of course.
Gosalyn decides to go help Drake (while blowing his cover of course) and grabs the hoola-hoop which goes completely limp of course. Drake then blows off Gosalyn for stealing his spotlight. Has Shawn Michaels been giving him tips while moonlighting for the WWE? I SMELL A FANFIC COMING... Drake walks away while his hips wobble in a disturbing like fashion as he goes into the toy store and steals a red balloon from the store. That's a NO-NO Drake Mallard! Drake blows up the balloon and it turns into the BALLOON HORSE OF DOOM; and Drake rides cowboy on it. Is there some kind of joke that I'm not getting here?! We do the thrilling Scooby Doo Chase Sequence (the 2004 edition) pogo stick style. Now that's more like it guys!! Quackerjack throws the JACKS OF POPPING DOOM as Drake blows off Quacky's choice of games. And of course the jacks pop Drake's horse balloon on contact and we get the thrilling balloon rocket spot which looks better in this episode than most. Hey; Drake deserved that one you Sustaining freak!! Hey; Sean Malstorm; I've got a new patient for you and his name is DARKWING..DUCK!! Nice MAN-SIZED bump against the ceiling on you head from Drake though as Drake free falls down and takes a really sick bump on his beak onto the floor. If it was his head it would have been sicker than Baloo's splat in Polly Wants A Treasure.
Quackerjack blows Drake off in kind and pogo sticks out of the mall. That was as classic as his choice of games of course. Drake believes that he has scared him off despite nearly MURDERING himself in the process. Too funny as the Pat Twins decide that DARKWING..DUCK would be perfect for the competition in Whiffle Town because the competition is really big. So they decide to let Drake be the second finalist into the competition and Drake is delighted as they turn around and Drake sings a song that is so lame that I wish Quackerjack was back to throw another one of Mr. Banana Brain bombs at him. Pat and Pat (doesn't matter which one) shake hands with Drake and ask him if he can make it to the competition and Drake goes into his calender book before saying that he can make it. The Pat Twins love this (must be some play on Palom and Porom from Final Fantasy IV) as an adult will square off against a child..and Drake foolishly asks who it is.
Well; what a surprise to see Drake act REALLY STUPID because we all know it was Gosalyn Mallard from the start since she was in the lead heading into Drake's play run. Gosalyn enters from her public on stage (about seven people mostly ducks and dogspeople of course) as it's clear that they are behind her on this one. Will Drake ever learn to hear what people are saying? Then again; Drake is so full of himself so why bother asking?! Drake isn't pleased as Gosalyn offers to shake his hand. Oh man; this is like shooting fish in a barrel; both ways. Drake doesn't bite as Gosalyn takes her hand away anyway (thus rendering the spot pointless) as Gosalyn basically mocks Drake. However; they REDO THE SPOT and get it right this time. It was funny; so I'll let this one slide for now. Drake mocks her back...They..do...not..like.. each..other..here. Male Pat announces that the grudge match will take place in Whiffle Town. So that logically leads to...
The jet arrives which shows that we are in the 1990's and not in the 1950's like that pesky TaleSpin cartoon was of course (That was sarcasm) as it arrives at Whiffle Town without incident. We head to the runway as the steps have already been placed on the jet and a huge crowd of about a hundred people (well animated I should note) cheering for Gosalyn; which puts her as the babyface by default. Which is perfect for her here as she walks out of the plane as Drake (in regular clothes) is with her to thank her for warming up the crowd. Yeap; Drake is REALLY STUPID! Drake goes back in as Gosalyn steps down the steps and the crowd puts her on their shoulders cheering for her as they walk away. The mechanic follows them remembering to remove the steps from the airplane just in time before Drake arrives (in DARKWING...DUCK clothes) cutting his usual full of himself promo. And of course Drake falls down and takes a wussy bump on his beak in response. You win some; you lose some in the world of assembly animation. Drake calls it a flesh wound and of course he gets MURDERED by the airplane cart which squashes Drake flatter than Alexander the Grape.
Drake as an international object equals funny. Glad to see Ellen and Collieen remember that at least. Not to mention that we see Quackerjack's JACK-IN-THE BOX OF DEATH on the Airplane Cart Rider so I suspect that he is in it. Sadly; we head to a hallway as the Pats, Gosalyn and Drake (in Darkwing clothes) walking down the hallway saying that their old man couldn't make it. These must be the classic nerds who blew off their elders back in the day. That's going to make it tougher to mock them in response. Gosalyn claims food poisoning because he is a sick and wimpy type which is enough to give Drake the CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS. We cut over to the plot device for the episode: The Molecular Digitizer on stage as Male Pat calls it hot stuff. Sadly; Baloo has no power anymore which Eisner's fuming over how TaleSpin screwed him over and therefore there is no LEGAL HAND OF GOD to smite Male Pat for using Hot Stuff in any context during this episode. We go over to the stage as an actor who is wearing the clothes of Whiffle Boy stands onto the green soapbox. Male Pat pushes the green button on the remote control and Whiffle Boy is zapped by the lightning gun (both off and on screen since reactions are important).
Whiffle Boy is instantly zapped into the video game world. One question: Is Whiffle Boy a robot; or a fury?! And if he is a fury; what are the moral ramifications of this cheap way to cut on programming costs? I wonder if Nintendo's next project will be like this?! I wonder... Gosalyn and Drake call the thing cool; and then blow raspberries at each other at the same time. Gosalyn slightly wins that battle; but they both look good here. Scene changer and we head on a peach colored bus as Female Pat shows them the sights and sounds of Whiffle Town. Sadly; Mount Whiffle isn't shown and the Convention Center is poorly drawn along with it's banner of Welcome Gosalyn on it. Geez; the animation quality is falling fast in this one as Drake blows off the Pats for screwing with his image. Oh grow up Drake Mallard! Female Pat gleefully ignores him and states that there is a Crying Crissy Doll in front of them and that's enough for the LIGHTBLUB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as there is a the GIANT CRYING DOLL OF DROWNING DEATH standing in front of the street.
It's crying Mama in a male voice which is more disturbing then any girly male voice I have ever heard. Good animation of the crying though as the GANG OF GAG MINUS LP wonders what that doll is doing in Whiffle Town. Again; Drake is REALLY STUPID here. Take one guess.....and Gosalyn points out that it is flooding the place as the streets are becoming like a river. Now that's taking crying a river to extremes as we head inside the doll where Quackerjack is playing with his giant robot doll. Does that make Quackerjack bisexual now?! Quacky pulls some levers (WRONG LEVERS!) and then giggles a bit before declaring that IT'S PLAYTIME to end the segment almost ten minutes in. Other than some animation flaws; this episode is near perfect and it shows the completely irony of what the video game industry is like today. I'll explain that in the Review Line...
After the commercial break; we see the GIANT CRYING DOLL OF DROWNING DEATH thump down the streets saying it's perverted chant of Mama. Quackerjack giggles like a pervert and claims that Whiffle Boy is all washed up. Logic Break #1 rears it's ugly head as the river is gone and there is bare street. TaleSpin is looking like Disney Feature Animation at this point. And we cut to the EYE IN THE DOLL'S EYE to see DARKWING...DUCK carrying an umbrella while the tears keep flowing like raindrops. And Kennedy still hasn't animated the scene properly. I hope Goof Troop isn't as bad as this episode because goodness knows if I can take this considering that this was one of my favorite episodes ever. Drake blows the crybaby off as I suggest he blow off the animators for this episode; but no dice. Drake brings out his bazooka complete with the plunger shell (OH TAG DRAKE!) and shoots the missile right into the doll's right ear (I think; they didn't show it) and it lands onto the floor of the main control of the dolls.
And then it breaks revealing the ONION OF CRYING SHAME! I cannot believe Drake would stoop so low to use an ONION!! Quackerjack of course sells it because burying cool villains is DARKWING..DUCK's game!! Thankfully; Quackerjack stops selling after about two seconds (Good for you Quacky!) and invokes the CRYING FLOOD OF NOAH'S ARK as Drake realizes that he unleashes tear gas instead of mortar since tear gas has absolutely NO EFFECT on Quackerjack. HA HA! Drake is once again in over his head in a symbolic moment. And let's hope he stays there. Gosalyn and the Pat Twins are on top of the peach bus as Gosalyn blows Drake off for his REALLY STUPID spot there. And of course the drowning water cannot stop the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM from beckoning at 10:28 as Drake is coming on a rowboat. How low on the cartoon dignity scale do you have to be to try that spot? Well; here we go :
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the wrong number that wakes you up at 3 am.
Okay; that was pretty cool and CONTINUITY from the writers for Drake blowing off a telephone caller earlier in the episode. And Drake of course makes the REALLY STUPID mistake of bringing the MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HARTS with him during the speech. Who does he think he is; Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Hart?! And of course Quackerjack thinks that he is so he invokes the CRYING BABY KICK OF SWAMPING DOOM to kick Drake right into orbit. That overturns the boats and Drake is all wet. Gosalyn then remembers having one of those dolls in the orphanage and decides that Drake has been embrassed enough and decides that she'll fix Quackerjack's wagon. Gosalyn jumps down with her surfboard which looks like a red version of Kit's Air foil. Since Gosalyn is over; she is allowed to do that spot. It's not like Kit is going to be around to see a second season of TaleSpin anyway. Gosalyn speeds around the CRYING DOLL OF DEATH to confuse the doll and spin her head around in a really sick spot.
Geez; did Kit's Air Foil have a secret stash of steroids in them before Gosalyn took it out. Oh man; the fans are right. Kit is a midget who is smuggling drugs for his friends during TaleSpin. That is sarcasm of course. Quackerjack does the whirlwind spot along with the doll because quite frankly; we need more windbags in this episode since Drake Mallard is more game to hating Gosalyn than stopping crime at this point. The head of the doll completely screws off and the spring allows Quackerjack to be POPPED RIGHT OUT OF WHIFFLE TOWN! But not out of the episode of course. Gosalyn surfs back towards the bus and does the Cowabunga spot in the right context this time around. Drake is now on the bus (no logic break there though) as Gosalyn blows off Quackerjack's creation as cheap. Kind of like XBOX 360's life span actually. Male Pat helps Gosalyn up as we cut to Quackerjack as he cuts one more funny promo before bopping out of Whiffle Town. For now anyway..But he'll be back...HE WILL...HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA! BWHAHAHAHA! (trips and falls down on his back) OUCH! Homer: Do you know how REALLY STUPID you look right now?!
We now head to the Whiffle Lodge which somehow still has vacancy flashing on it. Is there some hidden message of video gamers not having a life and no one care about their stupid Whiffle Boy competition to care that I'm not getting here. We cut to inside DARKWING...DUCK's room as he is on his lame bed playing Whiffle Boy on his personal console machine. At least I think that is his personal console machine. He then hears something from the always funny announcer that Gosalyn has proceeded to the Ultima level (which the crack Disney captions team has never seen Final Fantasy and therefore spells it wrong as usual) with the highest score. Drake looks into the room to see Gosalyn playing the game Wii style. HA HA! This is so ironic on so many levels. And she looks ultra cool in both her moves and outfit. Sean Malstorm is so right about people copying the Power Glove concept including Nintendo itself later on for the Wii Remote. Drake storms in to protest this outrage and Gosalyn blows him off because Drake is a poopyhead who is going to be history once the competition starts. Gosalyn obviously doesn't realize that 5D only exists in the minds of the Doctor Who fan. Drake then brings out the money to bribe Gosalyn into giving him the equipment to level the playing field. Hey; screw wad; take your punishment like a man and LIKE IT! It's not her fault that you just happened to be in the first negative star episode in DTVA history.
Gosalyn even realizes it so you know that moved sucked. Drake tries to blow it off as a living increase in her allowance. Suuurrree Drake Mallard. You just cannot stand losing to a child because you are an adult who cannot beat Gosalyn in a video game to save your life. Drake tries the old I'm trying to protect you from Quackerjack spot which is so contrived that Gosalyn should really blow him off forever on that one. And while she's at it; blow off the Disney Captions team for not translating the full speech Drake states here. Geez; even the Japanese to English translators from subbed anime is better than the crack Disney Captions Team. And Gosalyn doesn't buy Drake's stupid ways of fighting crime while doing the old spider spot just to amuse me. Drake decides the direct method as Gosalyn pulls up the goggles to fully see Drake and pulls onto the Zorro mask to blind Drake into submission.
Geez; after that spot, even I could take on this full of himself Mallard. Drake orders Gosalyn not to go to the competition and Drake has even less sympathy than Baloo does at this point. Gosalyn gleefully responds to this one by telling him that she would expose DARKWING...DUCK as Drake Mallard and that causes Drake to panic. Gosalyn blows that off as Drake cannot believe that Gosalyn would pull off such a heinous spot on him. Drake's memory of the pilot episode has been clearly shot in Duck Blind I see. However; before it can get any good; the Pat Twin enter the room and greet the two haters (to each other; not Whiffle Boy) and tell them that the competition is about to start now. Chop, chop as female Pat would say as the two realize that destiny awaits them in the battle field known as the video game market.
We head to the convention center as the whole setup is a wrestling ring type stage complete with ropes and two corners on each side containing a chair and a table with the Whiffle Boy game in them. Comparing wrestling to video games is probably why anti-gamers hate the medium I guess. The Pat Twin introduce Gosalyn Mallard on the right side and she cannot find her Power Gloves and claims that she is helpless without them. Huh?! Logic Break #2 for the episode because she was playing the game fine without them earlier in the episode. The Pat Twin introduce DARKWING...DUCK on the left side who looks like a gay boxer trying to fight his latest opposition from Vinnie Mac's Wrestling For Dollars. And of course; you can clearly see Drake has stolen Gosalyn's Power Gloves and Power Boots. THIEF!! Gosalyn rightfully protests this outrage because it breaks all logic and reason for him to use them. I find it a bit pointless since Gosalyn didn't need the Power Gloves earlier in the episode to rule. This just sounds like a contrived spot to waste time for me.
However; it's still funny to see Drake trying to act cool; but he's looking more stupid by the second. They circle around the Pat Twin as Gosalyn blows off Drake Mallard for stealing private property. Cannot blame her for being the good seed I guess. The Pat Twin pushes them away lest any real punches are thrown (since Disney has been toning down the violence on females lately) and introduce the real star of the show which is the MOLECULAR DIGITIZER OF DEATH! Which would have been great if they didn't introduce it earlier in the episode. Suspense is a good thing guys...remember that! They do the digitalizing of Whiffle Boy into the video game spot again while Female Pat's voice acting is starting to get on my nerves. She sounds like she's been drinking too much coffee while pulling off an all-nighter. We head behind the curtain as Quackerjack has finally returned (so much for security) with the JACK-IN-THE-BOX OF DOOM while blowing off video games for rotting their brains and paralyzing them in the digital womb. I made up that last part as he pulls his WEAPON OF CRACKPOTS into the spotlight and waves to his public as Gosalyn blows him off as Quacker Crunch. Must be Quackerjack's line of candy bars that probably got Quackerjack put out of business. Kind of like Sony's attempt to make us buy Blu-Ray and HD Television just to play their games, music and movies.
Quackerjack breaks down the box to reveal the TEETH CHOMPERS OF DOOM which make everyone run for cover. Drake blows them off like the REALLY STUPID mallard that he is and then he realizes that they have homing device and Drake is forced to scatter like a scalded dog. The Pat Twins do the Scooby Doo Chase Sequence which makes Quacky laugh. Hey; it's better than the last episode; so shoot me. We then head to the old ANIME SPOT OF CONTRIVED DOOM as Gosalyn has her dentist promo lined up complete with the dentist drill. The CHOMPERS OF DEATH all run for cover as Drake and CHOMPERS OF DEATH play bull and the bull is losing. Train whistle sound ensues because the CHOMPER OF DEATH is angry see. So; Drake counters and the backgrounds go all to hell. WHAT THE BLUE HELL IS KENNEDY DOING HERE YOU SICK FREAKS?! The CHOMPERS OF DEATH breaks its jaw of course; while Kennedy screws up the animation of course. This is getting really cheap here as Quackerjack blows him off with another excellent promo. If it wasn't for Quackerjack; I would truly compares this to Rocket Robin Hood in terms of cheapness.
Quacky tries to jump up with the springs; but Drake catches the end of them. At least the background has returned to normal here as Quacky is forced to come down and squash Drake hard (complete with drug induced impact stars) and then they bounces from the ring ropes. This is turning into a comedy match now. They crash off-screen with a pretty nasty bump into the MD BEAM OF DOOM (because it's easier to spell) which tumbles to the floor and begins to start up. It shoots beams right into Quackerjack and Darkwing and transports them into the video game. Now this is going to be good. Gosalyn pleads for Darkwing but there is no hope for her to see him for now as he is shown on the television screen. Everyone is SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order) as Drake looks at himself and gets the LIGHTBLUB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY. Drake is truly the stupidest mallard in history. Even Fenton cannot touch him now as Drake screams for help and jumps like a jumping bean to end the segment exactly fifteen minutes in. Now the real fun begins as Drake now has to win in a video game actually...
After the commercial break; we3 return to the thrilling stare down of Drake and Quackerjack inside the video game as we pan down to see Gosalyn in awe as the Pat Twins state that they shouldn't be inside the video game. Geez; what a bunch of sticks in the mud? I thought nerd would ENJOY going inside a video game? Gosalyn blows him off as Mr. Wizard (a reference to the Super Mario Brothers 3 movie that was released before Super Mario Brothers 3 was released on NES.) as female Pat notices that the game has short circuited as the wire has been frayed. And calls it a tough break. Drake's not going to like this as we go inside the game (as if it was not digital but analog) as Drake looks around claiming that it's only a game and then gets burned by the flame pillar on his cape. Never underestimate of power of Drake to become REALLY STUPID on a moment's notice. Quackerjack just whines like one of those anti-gaming lawyers out there on the mere sight of seeing himself inside a video game and here comes Weasel Kid to spoil the party as Drake is forced to do the old jump and run sequence from BC'S Quest For Tires. Drake runs up the pathway and in warps Whiffle Boy ready for action to burn Weasel Kid to ashes.
Drake hides behind Whiffle Boy like the coward that Drake is and Whiffle Boys absolutely no sells Drake's help. Drake is so screwed as Weasel Kid absolutely MURDERS Whiffle Boy to ashes. This is probably the only time we see actual furies die in a DTVA cartoon pre-Gargoyles era. Quackerjack goes to Weasel Kid and thanks him as now it has turned into a tag team match...or really a Texas Tornado match really. Drake runs away as Gosalyn demands that they get DARKWING..DUCK out and almost blows his cover in the process. The Pat Twins say that the only way is for Drake to win the Ultima level and Gosalyn calls Drake a goner. Remember that Drake is still a poor player in Gosalyn's eyes at this point. Brilliant chase sequence ensumes as Gosalyn decides to play the role of Whiffle Boy to help Drake out of this mess. Weasel Kid and Quackerjack chase Drake as Quacky slides down the chute and IT'S PLAYTIME as he pops out of a box and proclaims his love for video games. Wow; this is so Nintendo DS and Wii like that it's not funny. Drake hides behind a maze alleyway as Weasel Kid runs towards Drake with great neck speed and invokes the gas gun to tell Weasel Kid to suck gas and Weasel Kid stops to admire the birds chirping out of the Gas Gun after Drake fires it. Too funny as Drake is really screwed now. Weasel Kid has the ELETRONIC CROSSBOW OF DOOM (Oh man; this is really getting too close to Nintendo's disruption plan now or what?!); but here comes Whiffle Boy OUT OF NOWHERE (it's a video game; what did you expect? Logic?!) as he invokes the greatest weapon in Super Smash Brothers history: THE SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT! HA HA!
Sadly; he only MURDER Weasel Kid once with it. I guess Nintendo owned the copyrights for that bopping up and down spot Mario does. We head back outside to the real world (and somehow the real world still shows the video game world as pixelized.) as Gosalyn finally gets her Power Gloves and Power Boots back which is Logic Break #2 for the episode; but I don't care. Drake shouldn't have stolen them in the first place. Gosalyn proclaims that the games shall begin in earnest. Sounds like me saying the goring from Nintendo begins in earnest from December of last year. Quackerjack makes it too late to save Weasel Kid and he's screwed as the always funny for the wrong reasons announcers proclaims Whiffle Boy as the winner. Drake dances like a REALLY STUPID, full of himself mallard does. They proceed onto the elevator to the next level as Quackerjack tries to catch them; but misses them completely. Kennedy cartoon screwed up the spot as usual. Drake asks Whiffle Boy if this is the level and Whiffle Boy no sells as the GOOFY DRUG INDUCED SPIDERS OF DOOM enter the realm. Drake calls them gross. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Kind of the same reactions people had to games before Wii showed up. Whiffle Boy is prepared due to Gosalyn being around to control him as he invokes the BUG SPRAY OF DEATH to make them die. Drake complains about Whiffle Boy's aim and Gosalyn hears that so she turns around to position Whiffle Boy where she can MURDER Drake with the bug spray. Too funny as Drake backs off like the coward that he is.
However; Gosalyn was really seeing the black spider with Quackerjack and Weasel Kid on it so Gosalyn turns around herself and gets Whiffle Boy into position to MURDER the spider with the bug spray which kills Weasel Kid and the black spider dead. Quackerjack is all right of course. Drake praises Whiffle Boy for the good shot and they rise on the elevator to the next level while the announcers tells Weasel Kid to suck eggs for the third time in the episode no less. This announcer is making the Quack Pack kids sound like clean mouths in comparison and they lasted 39 episodes and this announcers was only in one. They walk to the abandoned buildings for the next level in funny choppy fashion in the real world; while staying realistic in the video game world. Just plain weird. They are stopped by the most hideous villains known to Whiffle Boy kind not named Weasel Kid: The Ninja Gibbons of Death! I don't get the joke here Drake as he cuts his dangerous promo which means that the end is finally near almost eighteen minutes in. Drake does his lame karate moves and they work for a change. However; let's not get excited, it is a video game and the AI sucks in Whiffle Boy.
Great spot as Drake does the old bird beck dive move and Whiffle Boy nails the laser beam to destroy another ninja. Hey; when it comes to video games; Drake and Gosalyn have good chemistry. The Last Ninja has his nunchaku (Thanks to Wii; this stuff just writes itself) as Drake offers to MURDER him because Whiffle Boy has only two lives left. How thoughtful of you Drake...NOT!! Quackerjack sneaks behind Whiffle Boy from the manhole cover as Drake sizes up the last ninja and MURDERS him dead. Everyone is happy; until Quackerjack speaks up and invokes Mr. Banana Brain on Drake. Drake does the KICK OF FEAR and it lands squarely in the hands of Whiffle Boy. Yeap; Drake is REALLY STUPID; what a shock?! Drake sezs oops and Whiffle Boy is MURDERED dead with the BANANA BRAIN BOMB OF DOOM. Gosalyn rolls back overselling the death as Whiffle Boy is down to one life left. Gosalyn blows Drake off again as we head inside for the thrilling showdown between Quackerjack and Drake. And somehow; they try everything and miss everything. If you want to do a fight guys; MAKE CONTACT WITH THE DAMN SHOTS!
They exchanges raspberries which suits them well in this game as the manhole cover opens and here comes Weasel Kid. Oh; I get the object of the game now: Kill Weasel Kid to move on. Drake finally invokes the LEAD GRIP KUNG-FU ACTION WEBKICK OF DOOM which misses by a foot; but the power of suggestion allows Quackerjack to fly and squash Weasel Kid to death right in the manhole cover. Drake cuts a full of himself promo; because he's Drake Mallard of course. Drake goes alone onto the elevator to the last level...and now we are into the Ultima level as Drake is locked inside a giant maze. Whiffle Boy beams up to the level as Drake realizes that he has never gotten this far before and is screwed because one more death and it's over. The announcer blows off Whiffle Boy for picking on his kid and Daddy Weasel is mad as hell and isn't going to take it anymore. Drake wonders who Daddy Weasel is and foolishly turns to see that Daddy Weasel is right behind them. Lame scare spot from Drake of course because being scared is beneath him at this point. Daddy Weasel is a robot who just happens to look like Gamma's Prototype version from Rockman 3. And Quackerjack is riding behind his back; what a surprise?
Drake tries to run like hell; but Whiffle Boy stands his ground. He invokes the ray gun (which still looks like a ray gun); but no dice as Whiffle Boy gets squashed to bits and that is all for Gosalyn's work. Gosalyn oversells the shot of course and realizes that there is nothing she can do to save him now. The Pat Twin nod their heads as if Drake is dead before he really is. We get the thrilling Scooby Doo Chase Sequence Video Game Style as Drake blows off Whiffle Boy and hides behind the steps. Quackerjack orders Daddy Weasel to go faster as it jumps down the steps and nearly crumbles them. They ride after Drake into the MAZE OF SHAPES as this is turning into some deformed puzzle game of Tetris now. Drake jumps down after being chased for a while onto the train tracks; and he is screwed by the runaway train.
Gosalyn wants Drake to jump; but Drake suddenly has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN as Daddy Weasel is above him and Weasel Train is on his level. So he fakes an injury and screams that he cannot get up. His acting is so bad it's funny as Daddy Weasel climbs down to go in for the kill on Drake; but Drake manages to dodge the final shot and land on a single green square. He was only kidding see as Daddy Weasel is dead, done , toe-tagged as he takes the MAN-SIZED bump right into Weasel Train and both are MURDERED dead. Everyone is relieved as Drake rides on the green title cutting his usual full of himself promo much to the whining of Quackerjack who is still alive at this point. Quackerjack chases after him as Gosalyn proclaims that they can get him out now. However; male Pat still has one last trick up his sleeve: Gator Gal which makes Gosalyn gulp in fear.......
We head to the lake as the helpful WAY OUT SIGN is flashing in neon light above as Drake realizes that this is too easy for him and tries to dive in. However; we see Gator Gal who is probably Gumbo's long lost sister...or long lost date ready to eat Drake alive. Drake floats in mid-air and lands onto the side of the lake as he is screwed badly. Warner Brother spots are so last series. So Drake calls Gator Gal a doggy and gets her so mad that Drake is able to step on her head and jump right straight into the whirlpool off-screen. That's enough for him to get out of the game as he swims with water on him like a goof. Gosalyn blows him off to show who the real over character is in this series. Quackerjack tries the same spot as he arrives jumping from title to title; but he under shoots the whirlpool and gets eaten off screen allowing Gosalyn to cover Drake's eyes because it's not pretty. Even the Pam Twins don't like the sight either. Gator Gal float on her back as Quackerjack struggle inside her belly in a funny matter just to get one more promo in before the end of the episode arrives.
Yeap; this is much better than the last one by about eighty world lengths as the Pam Twins thank Gosalyn and declares her the winner. Drake squeezes his clothes to get the water out of them as Gosalyn finally admits that Drake helped her win; so it's a draw. In other series; this would be a bad thing; but since a terrorist was involved, I think we can let them slide for this one time. They get their photo-op as the flash scrambles their eyesight a bit. Proof that cameras are worse than video games in this world. Drake proclaims that they should never let things like video game competition come in between them ever again. If there was ever a case for John K. comedy to arise than this is the time since they are more over when they are hating each other over trivial matters.
They hug as the trophy is shown and of course the babyfaces starts arguing again as they completely stretch the trophy beyond it's physical limitation. Hey; if you're going to have a wrestling ring; at least you have to see the trophy getting smashed at some point. Another photograph shot which turns the scene B&W and that ends the episode at 21:09. One more note: Assistant animation is done by Bon Art Studios so you know who to blame for the blown spots here. Otherwise; this was a great episode as two good video game players let a petty contest get in between them and it nearly kills them when Quackerjack gets involved. And of course; the entire episode is basically a Wii love fest with references to Nintendo's disruption plans all rolled into one. Much better episode than the last one for whom I refuse to speak it's name because it is unspeakable horror. **** 1/2 ( 90%)
THE REVIEW LINE
After a week of unspeakable horror and MUGEN episodes; this episode really helped regain my faith in this series as a whole. Most of the bane elements were in check and the ones that were still there were at least amusing to watch. This is what I call the video game episode which contains so many ironic moments that even I was seeing double takes being shown everywhere. Most of the video game references were from Nintendo of course (the Power Glove being the most obvious one which Nintendo later refined into the Wii Remote); with a few Sega references added. There is also the irony Quackerjack had with his own business going out of business because of Whiffle Boy. Whiffle Boy was a disruptor who changed the way people played toys much like Nintendo did in 1985 with the NES and with Wii later on (Sean said that Wii's model comes from the NES actually). Quackerjack refused to change with the times and his business went out of business. And like the Atari fans before and the Sony/Microsoft fan boys now; they are really bitter. In fact; I could argue that Sean Malstorm's little story on Hardcore gamer burning down “non-games” in a bookstore like a censor burning offensive material and then killing anyone who he sees agrees with the disruptor; was ironically shown in full bloom during the scene where Quackerjack first appears. The only difference is that it's the authority figures who get thrown into the bonfire (or in this case getting blown up by Mr. Banana Brain.) Anyone who reads my LiveJournal should be able to find the link to Sean Malstorm's writing pieces on Nintendo's disruption plans; there is a lot more to see about the whole thing that I alone cannot explain in this one piece.
As for the episode itself; I felt that it did a decent job of accurately showing the attitude of the average gamer. I thought that there would be jealousy on the writers part coming in and that they would write it as contrived and forced as humanly possible just to smite gamers. However; for the most part it was written with a considerable amount of respect. Certainly nothing compared to some of the video game episodes that would arrive in other shows where the writers seemed hell bent in degrading the medium in a vain attempt to sound like their medium is taking the moral high ground on the issue but are really acting like the sorry little victims that they are. The story itself was really good as well with Gosalyn hating Drake for entering into a contest that he is poor in and then Drake trying to explain it away that he's only doing it to stop Quackerjack when it's really to get the spotlight placed on him. The Paul Twins (which is a character reference to a popular RPG) were all right; but they weren't the nerds that I was expecting. They spew some pop culture phrases; but that was to be expected. They sounded quite human in comparison to even Drake and Gosalyn. Quackerjack was his own funny self and he is the Sustainer in this battle until the end of the episode where he actually falls victim to disruption himself once he aligns to Weasel Kid.
And the announcer cracked me up as usual along with the video game sequences once Act III went into play. However; this wasn't a perfect episode as Kennedy screwed the animation once again with a few blown spots and a laughable scene where the background died on the scene near the end of Act II. Also; one contrived spot where Gosalyn complains about losing her Power Glove to Drake was really silly because she had no problems playing it with a joystick earlier. It was a setup for Gosalyn to hate Drake even more which was funny on itself; but broke logic. It was one of two logic breaks in the episode. Overall; this was a near perfect episode marred by blown spots. If WD-OZ did this; this episode would get the perfect score. Otherwise; it's near perfect. Next up is Ghoul Of My Dreams which is Morgana's origin episode as the Mallard version of BeetleJuice. So....
Thumbs way the hell up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.