Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
Ghoul Of My Dreams
The Nightmare Rant is back; but much more dreamy this time around..
I'm currently writing this without an internet connection (well this part anyway) because I am having a blast playing around with the Wii Internet Channel as I bought a Wii LAN Adaptor from Future Shop and the test worked perfectly. I also updated the Wii system and played around with the Weather and News Channels. I'll say this: Surfing the net on television is very different than doing it on PC. In many respects; it's really fun (a word Sustainers hate with a passion.), in other respects it's a bit hard on my arms (I had some pain in my arm while trying to play Wii play the same way lying down on my bed. Probably not the best position to be doing it I guess.). Youtube works almost perfectly on Wii; although the video playback is a little slow at times (although surfing is smooth and absolutely ZERO pop-up ads even on my own website.). So call me a slacker for not getting this rant in on time if you like. I was having fun trying out my future web surfing device (I'll still use my PC for uploading and writing rants though; don't worry) and having access to Wii shop which I can buy games that I remember hearing about in the 1990's but never had the chance to play them.
But enough of that; our next rant is of course the first episode featuring Morgana; Drake's future girlfriend. I haven't seen this episode at all so I'm ready to be pleasantly surprised. Many say it is a good one; so let's rant on and find out shall we.....
The episode is written by John Behnke, Bob Humphrey and Jim Peterson. The story is edited by Kevin “Crosby” Hopps. Let me guess: Sun Woo is doing this one (checking my notes from this website....) and I am right again. When will this madness end?!
We begin this one in the cloudy night sky as we see DARKWING...DUCK IN A FREAKIN TUTU (BWHAHAHAHAHA...Oh boy..BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!) running in the tunnel of clouds. This is the definition of both bending reality and bending the point. Drake dodges some spheres and cubes as the DREADED VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckons at 1:13 as he free falls down onto some clouds; which is a new record even for Drake when it comes to being full of himself...
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the weirdo who sits next to you on the bus.
Geez; Drake...You don't know the half of what you just said there. Does Drake ever watch his own shows? My guess is that he doesn't. And now he realizes that he's wearing a FREAKIN TUUTU. Drake covers up; but it's far too late to save him from totally getting mocked by me. And here comes Stealbeak OUT OF NOWHERE giggling badly at Drake's choice of clothes (I think.). If there is one person I don't want to see anymore; it's Stealbeak. And here comes Sparky as he invokes the shock finger to shock Drake OUT OF NOWHERE. This is either a dream; or this is a 1990 promo for the show which ran during reruns of TaleSpin. I've have a sinking feeling it is a mixture of both at this point. And now we see Quackerjack, The Liquidator, Bushroot (oh please let him MURDER Drake to get his heat back. Oh pretty please) and Ammonia Pine (who is beside Stealbeak to maintain CONTNUITY from their last go around.) surrounding Drake. However; the LEGAL HAND OF THE GODDESS invokes the GIANT SWIPE OF PAIN to wipe them off the face of this dream. It's now officially Drake's dream because only in Drake's dream would he bury everyone using Morgana Macawber as his goddess so to speak. Drake is SO HAPPY that Morgana has given up crime and her wicked deeds and asks for a kiss. Morgana seems to have no trouble with that as she grabs Drake (remember that Morgana is a giant in this dream I should note) and they try the KISS OF DEATH. However; all dreams must come to an end and most of them usually end when the best thing like a kiss is about to happen. Reality is really Drake sitting in the passenger side of the Rat Catcher as Launchpad is unclogging a bone from the gas tank. Geez; Drake being careless about his wheels; what a shock?!
And as Launchpad comes over to talk to Drake; Drake kisses him RIGHT ON THE LIPS. OH MY GOD! I knew Launchpad and Drake were homosexuals; I just needed this episode to prove it. Or not. Sun Woo naturally screws up the spot because it's Sun Woo of course. I refuse to believe that it is BS&P that is behind this screw up. Launchpad is taken aback by this as he only wanted a thank you. Drake finally wakes and realizes that he kissed Launchpad McQuack and spits out to remove all the Launchpad germs from his mouth. I hope homosexuals never see this spot; because I swear that this can be taken as a sign that Disney doesn't like men kissing men on the lips because someone (cough... Wildmon..cough) thinks that they are yucky and evil. Drake is angry because he cannot stay awake for a crime to happen..and then he yawns and is ready to doze off again. Baloo would be proud of this. Drake jumps into the Rat Catcher driver's side and decides to take a ride to keep him awake. Memo to Drake: People who are sleepy should NEVER operate motorcycles. Launchpad gets into the passenger side in a cute way and blows Drake off as he will only go if there is no kissing. Does this sound like a homophobic message or am I just paranoid? Drake rides the Rat Catcher down the street as we cut to a scene where a building is apparently on fire despite there are NO animated flames anywhere in the entire scene. So Sun Woo cannot be trusted to animate fire in any way despite doing a good job in All's F In Love & War (the first negative star episode in DTVA history)? Disney is screwed if they think that.
A dogs person wearing pink pj's (Why do I get the feeling Drake is STILL in dreamland here?) and a red fire hat is carrying the safe as if it is a baby. And you thought Baloo giving human names to his airplane was shameful? And just to make the whole experience even more batty; two bats with nets (Morrigana's hench bats no doubt) steal the safe from the fire dogsperson's clutches. The left bat is strong and the right bat is weak as they tease dropping the safe; but then decide to stop selling and fly away with it. Drake calls this case battier by the minute. Considering that Sun Woo failed to animate the flames in a so-called “burning” building; I do think this case is really batty now. Drake loves these kind of cases because he is so full of himself. It's in his DNA as he exits with the Rat Catcher stage right. We cut to the two bats carrying the net containing the safe towards the house of the Addams Family. DUH-DUH-DUH-DA SNAP! SNAP! DUH-DUH-DUH DA SNAP! SNAP! Okay; it's not. It's really the house that belongs to...Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice... BEETLEJUICE!! Okay it's not. The bats go into the light (which assures us that it's not from Beetlejuice or the Addams Family) and disappears inside. We cut to the street as the Rat Catcher stops next to the sidewalk. Did Drake's mother EVER tell him NOT TO U-TURN?!
Drake replaces his helmet with his gay Zorro hat of course and accuses Morgana of stealing the safe more or less. Hey; he states that the bat belong to her; so that is evidence enough for DARKWING...DUCK! Drake and Launchpad enter the GATES OF THE SHADOW REALM (because hell is still not allowed on DTVA yet.) as Launchpad whimpers like a wimp while making it to the front door. Drake blows LP off as he blows off Morgana as being a common criminal despite the fact that Drake is looking into the MIRROR OF VAINITY to pat his head to show how vain he is. And he's even vainer since he spray his mouth with the alum to boot. Drake is such an easy target at this point as we cut inside the living room which looks kind of normal minus the lame orange paint job as Morgana is sitting on her creepy chair attending to her spider friend while the bats place the safe next to all the other stuff Morgana has stolen. Oh yeah; she's a common thief so Drake claim. I kind of agree with him; if it wasn't so obvious that he is a hypocritical full of himself mallard. Morgana hears the bat and Squeak tells her that Drake is coming. Morgana doesn't like this because she's not ready to see him. She looks terrible see as she goes to her own MIRROR OF VAINITY; and it isn't nearly as vain as Drake. However; her spider friend saves her by putting black lipstick on her lips and powders her nose. Now there's a hard spider worker. Too bad; he'll be buried by Eisner at the next payday meeting. I keep forgetting that his name is Archie as Archie mumbles as he spins a web away.
Morgana tells the bat to hide what they had stolen from the sleepwalkers. I believe that she just gave the whole plot away in advance. At least TaleSpin had the decency to give away plots on other episodes unrelated to the actual plot as a method of foreshadowing. This is pretty intentional if you ask me. The pets (so sezs Morgana.) put a white sheet over it like a phantom. Oooo....That is soooo clever...NOT! Archie still mumbles and scatters away when Morgana thanks her. Does Archie hate Morgana's life of crime? I sense that he is. We cut back to the door as Drake continues to blow off Launchpad's whimpering. So Drake bangs on the door knocker and it lives up to it's name as the monster in the background bites Drake's hand. That'll teach him to bury evildoers. The door actually opens which makes little sense. Why not waste a little time by having Drake redo the spot two more times? I thought the spot was funny. Drake and Launchpad enter the spooky house in that I mean; the house is spooky orange. We cut to Morgana sitting on her stolen goods (with a white sheet over them mind you) and greets the full of himself Drake Mallard and Launchpad. The house is called Macawber Manor and I think it sucks. It's not scary. Castle Bruinweld was scarier. Then again..say it with me...This is COMEDY BABY!!
Drake of course is charmed (check out the anime love heart eyes) as Launchpad looks pretty ticked off. Why? No one knows as Drake stumbles through his questions like a charmed goof. Rebecca looks so restrained compared to this loser mallard. Launchpad ribs him back into sense and he is asking about a crime spree in which Morgana is the prime suspect. Wow; I didn't think they would get away with the word seduce on a DTVA show; but here it is. Morgana doesn't care because she has missed Dark (Morgana's pet name for him which is A-OK with me.) and gets up and grabs Drake to charm him. And then she blows her cover because she tells Drake that she wanted to kiss him before he woke up. Remember the beginning of the episode. Nice CONTINUITY from the writers; bad decision by Morgana there. Drake almost falls for it; but the LIGHTBLUB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY wakes him up from the confusion. Morgana claims that it was her dream too as the bats think that she's screwed; but she was ready for that one. So Morgana kisses Drake right on the lip and Drake does a really funny oversell of the kiss. Must be the black lipstick. I hear it can overcome you with Satanic power waves.
And his voice grows deeper. Yeah; that wasn't sexual in the very least; no siree! Morgana opens the door and gently throws out Drake remembering to say goodbye nicely. Now that's a funny way to boot someone off your property. The bats handle Launchpad a Wii bit more harshly though as he takes a really decent bump into the passenger side of the Rat Catcher with his head. OUCH! Drake hops onto the Rat Catcher without a care in the world (except for Morgana of course) and it's horse riding time!! Drake leaves as Morgana slams the door on this case so to speak. Now Morgana is concerned that Drake will find out her secret MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN so she goes into the STRAY YELLOW DOOR OF DOOM which logically leads too......
The DREAMWORLD OF DEATH as the door moves around. This seems like 30 minutes; but we are only five minutes in and I need supper. I return as Morgana opens the door to talk to someone named Nodoff who just happens to be a green goblin fully clothed with Link like green ears and is sitting on a giant hourglass made of sand. He doesn't look like that gargoyle's long lost cousin from that Gummi Bears episode that's for sure. He looks a lot more civilized. Nodoff speaks proper English to further add creditability to my theory and asks what she wants. Morgana needs some sleep sand which Nodoff sells by opening up the top of the giant hourglass of sand. Nodoff asks why and Morgana admits that her scheme is being screwed by DARKWING...DUCK. You wish Morgana. Did you not see Drake was fully charmed by your presence. He is hapless in love sezs I! Nodoff offers to kill Drake (YAY!) as he has the sleeping dust bag in his hand; but Morgana steals it and blows off his suggestion (BOO! HISS!).
See; Morgana is in love with Drake and doesn't want Nodoff killing Drake see. Geez; that's more than enough to turn Nodoff into a babyface by default. I'm starting to like this episode now after the ultra bad rough start that this one has. AND THAT'S AN ORDER as Morgana shuts the door behind her. Who does she think she is Sgt. Slaughter?! I think even Nodoff thinks like Hulk Hogan right now. Thankfully; I'm on Nodoff's side in this one. Nodoff blows Morgana off and I'm loving him already since he gives orders in Dream World. I think we are safe to say that Dream World is a theocracy. A Satan theocracy; but still a theocracy. We had back to the LA HOTEL DU VIOLENCE as we cut to the street where Morgana is walking towards it. She has the bag of sleeping dust in her hands and gives it to Eek and Squeak to fly up towards the window. I guess Archie is still jealous of not getting any real work around here. We cut to a dark room inside the hotel as we see a pig fury in green nightgown gear sleeping in a bed that looks a lot creepier than Morgana's Manor so to speak. In fact; the whole room looks a hundred times creepier than her manor. Morgana: Joke to all Addams Family fans everywhere. The TWIN BATS OF DOOM enter carrying the bag of sleeping dust and lands on the desktop. Eek and Squeak open the bag of sleeping dust to grab the sand of sleep and dive bombs the stuff right onto the pig's face.
The bat scatter as the pig wakes up. Huh?! That was kind of you know...pointless. Eek and Squeak leave through the window and the pig gets up and does the ZOMBIE WALK OF DOOM. Well; at least he didn't fling his arms out like he was in a sleeping trance. He Zombie Walks towards the rope and pulls it which lets out a gong sound. Insert Lurch joke here. Sadly; Lurch isn't here so the bed flips into the closet room and it reveals the safe despite there being no way that the safe could have fit in that space. Logic break #1 for the episode. Mr. Greenbacks opens the safe and then we hear Nodoff in the distance as there is bars of gold inside the safe. We then go into a dream sequence where Mr. Greenbacks is playing the role of a pitcher who is pitching gold bars in real life; but in dream world; he's playing the role of a pitcher in baseball with Nodoff as the catcher. Remember that he is in a zombie trance with no thoughts so there is no logic break there. He throws the gold bars which shatter the window. Mr. Greenback's pitching sucks badly. Although I like the dream sequence. However; it doesn't matter as the gold bars fall to the street right into the spider web net Archie made. Morgana loves it; but Archie groans as if he doesn't like it. Ironically; so does Launchpad as we cut to Drake still riding the Rat Catcher still being charmed by Morgana's charm.
I told you it was the black lipstick. Launchpad looks absolutely pissed off for some reason. Even more so than usual and that's out of character by LP standards. Launchpad blows Drake off because Drake slammed into a lamp post and a tow truck is towing them away. Too funny. I told you that sleepy people shouldn't operate motorcycles; but you didn't listen Drake. Because Drake is REALLY STUPID. And it took me eight minutes before I invoked that crack. Then Sunwoo's animation during the front end of the Rat Catcher looks completely laughable. It makes TaleSpin look like it was done by feature. Again; I have accepted the fact that the animation is going to hell in this series; so let's move on. Drake is still charmed by Morgana as Launchpad sulks in the passenger seat. Drake is so charmed that he has to get the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY after he says falling gold bricks. Thankfully; everyone is back to normal as we cut to Mr. Greenback's room as the door opens and here comes Drake blowing his horn and beating his own drum while Launchpad backs him up on cymbals. Even when it looks like he's being selfless; he is still cutting a full of himself promo. I believe that spot was lifted from Her Chance to Dream only it's less funny here. Nodoff's dream sequence is shot as he takes a baseball to the mouth when Mr. Greenback's disappears from the dream.
Mr. Greenbacks looks like someone got hit with a baseball bat as the noise drowns out the room. Mr. Greenbacks wakes up for real and blows off Drake and Launchpad. I can understand Drake; but leave LP out of this you greedy pig. Drake of course cuts his full of himself promo and that's enough to get Mr. Greenbacks ticked off so he throws gold bars at Drake which miss by a mile and land in Archie's Spiderweb Net. Okay; that looked contrived; but it's still funny seeing Drake getting what he deserves for being so full of himself. Morgana calls Drake even more charming in the moonlight. I think the sleepwalking sand is destroying the rational part of her brain; but what do I know about psychology?! She asks where the bag of sleeping sands is and the bats squeak to her that it's in the bedroom. Morgana is upset and orders them to get it. The bats fly away as we cut to inside Mr. Greenback's room as Drake is goldbricking while Greenback has the table leg. Oh great move Disney! Give the morality police more ammunition for the incident of teen girls beating someone from within an inch of their lives with a table leg why don't ya?! Yeah; I'm being sarcastic; although the incident I'm talking about is real.
Drake tries to explain; but Mr. Greenbacks swings away and Sun Woo proves what kind of animators they are by showing that they would have made contact on every swing; but they treat it as if it missed completely since Drake absolutely no-sells the shots. UGGGHHHHH! Drake runs backwards from the phantom table leg (might as well be) as he hide behind the dresser which has the sleeping sands in front of him. Geez; I wonder if he will use it? Ah; forget it, Eek and Squeak grabbed the sleeping sands and manages to go through the window. Nice CONTINUITY from Sun Woo to show the window glass broken the whole time. That's nice as Drake jumps and grabs onto the sleeping sands while hanging above the street. Did I mention how REALLY STUPID Drake Mallard is? They fly for a while into the city as Drake finally has had enough and goes for the gas gun. He tells the bats to suck sneezing powder. Okay; that was different; but show of hands?! Who thinks they know what will happen next? That the BAG OF SLEEP will let go by the bat and Drake will free fall to his death to end the segment. Let's look at the DVD....I was almost right as the segment didn't end with Drake free falling as he takes a MAN-SIZED bump WITH CHEESE AND BACON as his cape covers him as if he was declared dead.
Great spot even if Drake might as well have a flashing a neon sign that said “Drop me here”. Since this is Disney; Drake is all right. How do I know? He cuts a full of himself promo as the sleeping sands nails him good on his little pinhead and the sleepwalking sand is dumped all over his body. Drake goes into a trance (DUH!) and GO TO SLEEP as CM Punk would say. Drake's snoring is so bad it could qualify as a bad organism. The dust consumes the scene and that logically leads to...Dream World as Drake wakes up on the smallest rock to qualify as a bed. The purple smoke cloud (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND MOVIE RATING!) as Drake looks around to hear Nodoff laughing in the distance. Oooo..Now this is going to be good. Drake thinks it's Launchpad as the EYES OF NODOFF and voice beckon at 9:44..
Nodoff: I am the terror that flaps in the night...
Drake: Hey! Hey! Hey! I'm supposed to say that!
Good for you Nodoff; show Drake who's the boss in Dream World. Drake of course blows him off because no one leeches off his heat. Even those who own this realm. Nodoff reveals himself as the ruler of Dream World as even shows his pointy little crown. I somehow love that spot for some perverted reason. Nodoff admits that he's the one behind it and that the whole city will sleep. Considering that most of the city is more stupid than Drake; that sounds a little bit thinking of way too small there Noddy. Drake blows him off and grabs Nodoff by the shoulders. Drake thinks he has him; but the VOICE OF DEATH beckons and the real Nodoff appears behind him. I betcha Drake has grabbed a sand snake from the sleeping dead. Drake turns around and damn it to hell if I'm not on a roll. Drake yelps like an idiot as he is screwed while the snake hisses at him to end the segment about ten and a half minutes in. A rough start; but it's getting good now...
After the commercial break; we get the snake biting at Drake which Drake easily shrugs off while claiming not to be scared...that much. Which means he is scared to death almost right?! Drake ties up the snake in knots (which so happens to be a dream rattlesnake HEE HEE!) and kicks it away as it reforms into Nodoff. I knew that was going to happen since Sun Woo screwed the kick up of course. Nodoff sits on his big ass hourglass and declares that the nightmares shall begin as he fades away. Drake tries to grab him; but no dice and then a woman schoolteacher beckons to blow off Drake in which Drake turns around and realizes that it's his teacher Miss Boriscowski? Okay; that's a pretty unique name. And she looks a lot older which tells me that she's one of the zombies in this nightmare. Drake has never seen her since third grade and that is answered as Borisco (because it's easier to spell) grabs Drake by the beak and forces him into a desk to take a test. HA HA!
Yeah; she would be fired today if she did that; but it's funny so I won't tell a soul. Drake whines because he didn't have time to study but then blows it off because it cannot be THAT hard..and of course Borisco brings out a stack of paper that pretty much lands on the moon and Drake only have five minutes to finish. HA HA! Now this is my kind of episode. The papers all fall in a paper tomb right on full of himself Drake Mallard. This is really getting good now. Nodoff reappears before it can get really good (like failing Drake for instance) as the door opens and here comes Morgana as she proclaims that the sleepwalking sand supply has been lost...because Drake basically took all of it for himself..unintentionally of course. Nodoff claims to know where it is and Drake climbs out of the paper carnage and realizes that Morgana is working for this slumber sicko (his words; not mine). Morgana blows it off because he's working for her. Oh yeah; incriminate yourself even more than the other way around. Smooth move there Morgana. Nodoff finds the second bag of sleeping sand which contains super sleeping sand which apparently can put Saint Canard to sleep in one bag. Sadly; the writers failed to write it that way and it made the Super Sleep Sand act like normal Sleep Sand. Maybe it's a joke that I'm just not getting here. Drake blows him off so Nodoff punches him with the MASTER HAND OF DOOM which grabs Drake and crushes him.
I knew Nodoff was responsible for all the chaos in Super Smash Brothers. I needed the episode to prove it. Drake completely blows off Nodoff and Morgana while selling the struggle very well. Drake? Not bury a one shot villain? In what universe am I in again? Morgana blows off Drake nicely and then orders Nodoff to keep him there; but not to kill him. Nodoff sells it like he's going to be a very good boy...and then after Morgana leaves through the door; he no sells it and blows his word off. Now that's being a classy heel. Even though he's getting babyface heat in the process. The MASTER HAND OF DOOM puts Drake onto a small rock platform and float there to inform Drake to look down. And of course Drake is REALLY STUPID to take that advice and looks down as we cut to Nodoff wearing circus ringmaster gear (complete with top hat and whip) which logically leads to the old “dive into the wooden tub of water” spot which Bugs Bunny gleefully beaten to death in one of his classic Loony Tunes shorts. This one sucks though as Drake is whipped off the diving board (DUH!) in which we get the old “wooden tub turns into a glass of water and then into an eyedropper full of water” spot which would have been funny if it was done 15 years ago. The bump was funnier than all this as he somehow splashes into a lot of water; but in reality he wakes up after getting buckets of water slammed on him by Launchpad. Launchpad blows off Drake's heavy snoring in a funny spot. Drake drains the water from his arms as he proclaims that they must find Morgana before the entire city faces the CM Punk finisher: Go To Sleep.
We go to the air as we see the purple spider balloon (Holy crap; that balloon is UGLY!) as we cut to Morgana inside the basket of the balloon invoking the telescope before unleashing the bag of sleeping sand containing the super sleep sand onto the city. See; she's in crime to pay off her student loans. Now there's a thought that'll give anyone pause as the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckons to spoil the party. We cut to see Drake on the rope ladder connected to the Thunder Quack because Drake somehow thought the Rat Catcher was being too snippy with the house guests I guess. Drake jumps into the basket and somehow it doesn't break and Drake doesn't free fall. SOMEONE FIRE THAT BASKET!! Morgana whines because he's supposed to be asleep. On second thought; Morgana is better off as a babyface, her heel routine is sadder than Kit's heel turn in Plunder and Lightning Part Three and not in a good way like Kit's was. Drake grabs onto the bag of sleeping sands as Sun Woo makes me laugh with the off-model stare Drake imposes on Morgana. He looks like a horny pervert on that spot. Drake wants Morgana to hand over the bag of sleeping sand and she gives it up easily. Huh?! Morgana claims that she cannot be a good girl; because evil is too rewarding and grabs the bag of sleeping sands back.
On second thought; she's a good classy heel. This is more confusing than a debate about violent video games being done between a video gamer and Jack The Anti-Gamer One. Morgana does the pointless winking spot of her eyes to allow Sun Woo to try to give the illusion that they do not suck. Sadly; everyone knew they sucked the moment that they saw the tickling scene in Polly Wants A Treasure. Drake grabs the bag of sleeping sands and does his patronizing speech about her giving up her life of crime as Drake gets onto the rope ladder. Sadly; Archie goes into his shirt (while somehow giving me the disturbing image of almost seeing Archie go up Drake's groin area first. UGH!) and tickles him. Drake's selling is lame. Molly Cunningham should teach him that without the goofy face before you laugh; it doesn't work to make me laugh. Drake hates being tickled in the special spot which is the ribs. That's not special Drake Mallard as the bag of sleeping sands falls down and lands onto the spider balloon (which has turned dark pink now in a coloring mistake by Sunwoo) and the sleeping sand flows out. Morgana does a vain attempt to catch the sand; but it's no good and she GOES TO SLEEP. I never thought CM Punk's finisher would ever be good for a laugh; but here it is.
Nice over dramatic sell of the sleep sequence there Morgana. Drake doesn't like that judging by his lame selling of the incident as everyone GOES TO SLEEP in sequence. That leaves only Drake, Launchpad and Archie left as we logically go to Dream World as Morgana is sleeping on the big ass hourglass and then wakes up wondering what she is doing in Dream World. Take one guess: It was full of himself Drake Mallard's fault. Remember that Morgana Macawber. Thankfully; she knows who to blame for this and whines about why she falls for an honest duck. Well; that's one of the perks of burying villains there Morgana as Nodoff returns to declares his love for her. Sadly; his love is to see her die as Nodoff opens the hourglass and stuffs her into the top glass. Morgana bangs the glass; but it is shatter proof as Nodoff (is this a play on Martin Donoff's last name? Because Nodoff is Donoff spelled sideways) blows her off for being gullible. I think she was just dumb to believe in working with an evil oppressor like you; but suit yourself Noddy. Nodoff changes into an ugly uncivilized monster (please change back; I'll do anything you ask! Honest!) as he grabs the hourglass and shows her the sleepy CITY OF SAINT CANARD as they will sleep forever. I think Nodoff is forgetting about Drake and Archie as he giggles to end the segment 15 and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head back to Morgana's Manor (complete with one light window in a nice bit of CONTINUITY from Sun Woo) as Morgana is sleeping on her green sofa inside. Eek and Squeak try to wake her up by landing in her hair along with Archie crawling on her body. Sadly; it doesn't work as Morgana is in GO TO SLEEP mode. Archie blows off Drake's carelessness and Drake blows off Archie in kind. Geez Drake; make yourself the bully of this episode why don't ya?! Drake wants to face Noddy rather than Morgana and Eek and Squeak grab onto Drake to throw him into the door much to Drake's protests. Hey Drake: They are testing you on your courage; I suggest you do not protest too much. Drake opens the door and apparently he has seen horrors that force him to act like a coward. Drake Mallard showing that he is full of himself; what a shock?! Eek and Squeak force him back into Dream World though along with Archie because it is HIS fault that Saint Canard is asleep. I wonder what happened to Launchpad? Or is this the writers writing him out like they did with Kit in Feminie Air? If so; then I don't really care too much since Launchpad hasn't really done anything and a logic break won't change matters. We logically head to Dream World inside THE SLEEPING CITY OF SAINT CANARD as Drake apparently doesn't think that we had enough of the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM so he invokes it to waste some more time.
Drake battles the fog just to show how much of an idiot he really is. And Nodoff sezs boo to him as we cut to him lying down on his belly on the hourglass with Morgana stuck inside the glass. Drake demands that he let her go or prepare to suck gas. As I said before; I would suck gas and take my chances here and I bet Nodoff will do the same here. Nodoff kicks the hourglass and Morgana disappears...And lands in Drake's arms?! I don't get the point here guys! Nodoff is such a pussy that it's not even funny. Morgana and Drake have a really disturbing bonding moment as Drake drops Morgana like a bad habit and then cuts the Doctor of Style, Slick promo (the one that happens when one of Slick's men wins a wrestling match and Slick goes to the camera to say it.) which Nodoff blows off as he invokes the SATANIC PIXIE DUST OF DEATH on them as the spotlight is on our heroes. Well; Drake Mallard was always a spotlight hog so this is apporos. And they are generating heat just to make the old warming up metaphor. On second thought; Nodoff is completely AWESOME. Pay no attention to the ranter behind the curtain. And of course; since there is no logic in this Dream World, Drake and Morgana are melting. Hey; it works in this case, deal with it logicians of the world. Nodoff's voice on the melting promo is downright funny and so Wicked Witch of the West type despite being done by a male voice actor I presume.
Drake and Morgana struggle; but no dice because they have been heat-sealed to the floor (God bless; How It's Made for putting that joke in my joke gun.). Then Drake decides to invoke his MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN #4312: Think pleasant dreams since it's only a dream. That is so crazy it's going to work...Morgana uses her pleasant mind to think pleasant dreams. And it works as they rise from the floor and Drake thinks he's safe....until the old ANIME CONTRIVED SPOT OF DOOM arrives as Morgana wants his hand in marriage. HA HA! This is so funny and Drake deserves to be screwed after that spot. Squeak sobs like an idiot as he and Eeek carry her pink wedding gown down the wedding path. Archie plays the flower girl as he grumbles as usual. I guess he hates doing bisexual spots. Drake is in his marriage clothes as he adjusts his tie. Morgana says oops which pretty much gives away the next contrived spot in advance as Nodoff is the priest in this one and says that they forgot one thing. Morgana splits (because we cannot have females taking such a spot can we?) as Drake grabs the umbrella from the glass and waves goodbye as he gets MURDERED by the WEDDING CAKE OF DOOM. Drake pops from the top of the cake to officially destroy it of course because cartoons and wrestling are so damn similar.
Nodoff laughs at that spot because he knows the formula: Drake as an international object equals funny. I'm shocked that no crosses have been shown in this scene yet. Must be a Las Vegas shotgun wedding. Morgana blows off Nodoff for trying to MURDER Drake. Oh please Morgana; let us have some funny spots at Drake's expense you simple minded loving twit! Nodoff tells her to forget Drake and join him to take the riches of Saint Canard. I thought Nodoff hated Morgana?! Drake pleads with her not to join him and not to be a fool because being REALLY STUPID is the right thing to do. Morgana grabs some of the riches and has a hard time deciding. I'll make it easier on you Morgana: TAKE THE FREAKIN RICHES! DARKWING...DUCK is REALLY STUPID! You are smart. You are better off as a heel. Take the damn money as Harley Race would say. I know this is a Disney show; but come on! It's not like Disney doesn't let the heel win some of the time (Polly Wants A Treasure, Plunder and Lightning Parts 3 and 4 etc.) . Drake yells at her and his teeth are gritting so you know he is serious. Morgana decides to decide to MURDER Nodoff as so evident by the so obvious it smarts promo of a large green army tank breaking into the church brought in by Drake. Drake is the ultimate degrader of religion; what a shock?! Then again Drake is so full of himself that he could be the new God. Lezard better watch his back. Nodoff is finished as he has the Hanna Barbera teeth chattering sound effect as the gun of the tank is pointed right at his kisser. Now you know you are watching a classic...and of course it shoots flowers.
Too funny as Drake realizes that she is thinking a pleasant dream. We go back to Saint Canard as Launchpad (Wow; they didn't write him off after all) pushing the giant alarm clock (on second thought; writing him off was a good idea here.) He pushes into the middle of the city and the alarm clock sounds and all the recycled characters from the episode wake up and throw garbage at Launchpad. Launchpad sells it like an idiot so he get punished by taking a garbage can filled with garbage which is ironic since this was a garbage animation spot to waste time. We head back to Dream World as Saint Canard disappears from the world and the flowers turn into the greatest weapon in Super Smash Brothers history: THE SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT. Sadly; it's only wooden, but this is Disney so it will have to do. And you thought Nintendo was bad at BS&P? Drake is so screwed as Nodoff invokes the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT which could never do real damage in real life as it is wooden; but this is Dream World so it manages to bop the army tank right into the back wall with a MAN-SIZED bump. Wow; Sun Woo is getting better and better with each passing second. Drake opens the can (I should note that he is wearing his goofy helmet the whole time) and does the rolling eyes spot which Sun Woo gets right. Drake calls his bluff as then he gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as he sees Morgana fading away because she's waking up.
The church apparently disappears as well despite that sequence being choppy. That's why the LP sequence was a waste of time. Drake runs to keep her in; but Nodoff blocks the way with the hourglass and now he's ticked off and the urge to kill Drake is rising as he blows off some red steam. I told you he is Satan's Spawn. Nodoff disappears and then Morgana returns and gives Drake the HUG AND KISS OF DEATH as it's really Nodoff in disguise trying to force Drake to GO TO SLEEP. Okay; that was pretty scary. Drake pops out of the alluring embrace of Nodoff and this time it is ON BABEE! Great laugh from Nodoff as Drake backs up and Nodoff clothes return to normal. He is a shape shifter so there's no logic break there either. Drake trips over the hourglass is such a contrived fashion that it managed to cause Drake to free fall and the hourglass to shatter much to the disgust of Nodoff. Drake gets save by Eek & Squeak as he realizes Nodoff's one true weakness and grabs some sleep sand and puts it into his gas gun. Nodoff is SO dead as Drake shoots his gas gun and that is enough to blast Nodoff to sleeping hell. Nodoff plumps up a pillow and GOES TO SLEEP much to Drake's surprise. Well; I'm glad the writers kept Nodoff as strong as possible until the end because we all know Drake can bury anyone in a moment's notice. Nodoff disappears and reappears inside Morgana's Manor as he takes a really sick bump on his face as he falls down in the real world. Now he's completely helpless.
Morgana grabs him by the shirt and demands for DARKWING...DUCK. She then for no other reason drags Nodoff to the STRAY DOOR OF DOOM and it opens to reveal Eek, Squeak, Archie and of course DARKWING..DUCK! Morgana and Drake have a bonding moment as Drake lets go instantly and Drake blows off Nodoff because he's going home. Nodoff blows him off in kind and tries to escape but Eek and Squeak (under orders from Drake) grab onto Nodoff and carry him to the door. Nodoff blows them off because he's got dream powers and claims that he can fly. Sadly; Eek and Squeak drop him and he free falls and takes a decent bump onto the wooden floor. Drake orders Nodoff to give up because the door is his only hope. Nodoff blows that order off and tries to go through the wall and takes a MAN-SIZED bump into it.
This guy is such a devil spawn that it is so funny. At least Sun Woo is game in this episode unlike most of their work. Great oversell of the shot to boot as this is turning into a nightmare for Nodoff. Drake's heart doesn't bleed for Nodoff as he grabs him by the green Link ears (OUCH! That's got to smart) and throws him down in front of the door and then kicks him back into Dream World as the door disappears for good. Geez; Drake is so freaking mean. Morgana hugs and kisses Drake because Drake is a real hero...and then we get the old SWEVERE as the whole episode was only a dream. Drake is so screwed as he's sleeping in his real bed in his nightgown. Okay; now that's how to do such an episode. Drake pulls the covers back and GOES TO SLEEP. Circle fade to black to end the episode at 21:12. Awful start; but it got really good once the plot was shown in full bloom. And a nice creative way to end it too as we all thought this was real when it was only a dream. Too bad Quack Pack's version was so badly written that it killed the concept . **** ( 80%)
THE REVIEW LINE
One of the biggest problems with ranting on an episode that many say is one of the best is that most people who say that don't watch the entire episode and only see the really good parts and then overestimate the rating. It's also common for people who see a bad episode to think that it deserves a DUD and not watch the episode and only see the really bad parts and then underestimate the rating. I saw the former in this case as the first five minutes of the episode was pretty dull and seemed to went through the motions. I think that a real burning building in the first robbery scene would be made the situation believable and also not give away the plot; not to mention in some ways give way the ending in advance. That forces me to try and see if I love Nodoff and in this case I did. He was a very strong heel who was only rendered weak when he exited Dream World in a nice twist of fate. The writers did a great job in keeping him strong in the end and not get destroyed by Drake ability to bury villains.
The Morgan/Drake angle was also pretty well done for the most part and while the marriage scene was pretty contrived, it still fits within the context of Morgana's character. I also loved the ending as it was all just a dream and if it wasn't for the lack of a burning building, it would have been absolutely perfect. Also Sun Woo was really weak to start; but once Act II started, I stopped complaining as the spot were for the most part dead on. Overall; a good episode marred by a bad half in Act One and the usual Sun Woo screw ups. As for the Quack Pack crack: Their version was so contrived that it didn't successfully reach a proper conclusion at all making the dream sequence a waste of time. That's all you need to know. Next up is Adopt A Con and I don't remember liking this one....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.
Back to Darkwing Duck Rants Index!
Return to the Rant Shack!
Return to the Unofficial Kit Cloudkicker Homepage