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More like Adopt-A-Scorn to me..
Well; here we are kiddies; the last episode I need to rant on and it's a doozy. Ever hear of those programs where the offender pays his debit to society by repaying the damage done to the victim?! Well; it so happens that this is the episode for it. I'm dreading this one big time as Tuskerinni returns and knowing Drake he is going to get really buried. Let's rant on and get this over with shall we....?
The episode is written by Steve Roberts (oh lord this is going to be bad) and the story is edited by Duane Capizzi and Sun Woo is officially three for four on disc one of this volume so far. UGGGHHHH!!
We begin this one in THE PEOPLE'S COURT as DARKWING...DUCK is there to finally bury another criminal mastermind for good. He states his name and then cuts a full of himself promo to introduce himself. This there a law against such a thing?! Or is contempt of court another thing that doesn't exist in QUACKERIA?! This is supposed to be dry humor; but it doesn't work without black humor to balance it out and of course Disney cannot do that properly. We cut to the judge telling Drake to state this case. So Drake is a lawyer now?! Proof that you don't need degrees in this world to become one I guess as Drake goes to Tuskerinni who is on the witness stand. Drake accuses Tusker of robbing a bank and being a ham. Well; he's about half right at least as Tusker objects to being a ham. I disagree with him: You are a ham; but where's the evidence for robbing a bank Drake Mallard?! The judge asks for evidence and Drake shows the newspaper of his latest reviews of Son of MacBreath....Hey; I need something to amuse myself for the crap that I'm sure is sure to follow. The judge blows it off as he wants evidence of the bank robbery; making him the smartest person in the room not including Drake. Drake bails (oh the irony!) as Drake reveals the newsreels showing him robbing the bank, a signed confession about 15 pages long and then Drake goes to the door and claims that there are 500 witness ready to steam Tusker's ham. Sadly; only about five are animated because it's Sun Woo.
Tusker calls it flimsy evidence and the judge calls for the defense as the penguins do a open case spot on the defense table followed by a sheep who is framed giving me the best entertainment in the entire scene. That penguin finds the HALLOW GIANT PENNY OF DOOM and proceeds to use visual aids to tell the judge that Tusker that he is innocent. Considering how stupid everyone not named Drake, Gosalyn and Honker are; this would qualify as good solid evidence. Sadly; Tusker's pounding on the table pretty much seals his fate right there. Drake blows it all off so you know that Tusker is finished. The penguin shows a sheep and Tusker cannot tell what it is and Drake has to yell at Tusker to show that it is a sheep. See; Tusker was asleep according to him and the penguin shows a picture frame to him to finally revealed that he is framed. If Tusker was monster over; I would be laughing at this; but he's not so it isn't really that funny. The penguins carrying an episode is not a good sign here I should point out. The judge finally decides that he has enough and Tusker is guilty as charged much to the dumb protests of Tusker. If this was Bushroot; this would be funny and the judge would have bought it.
Tusker then accuses Drake of framing him and Drake gets mad as hell and then takes the frame from the penguin and proceeds to blitz Tusker on the witness stand and bury him. To those who would say that I'm being biased about DARKWING...DUCK burying villains and that Cartoon Duck Syndrome exists; then bear witness to that spot and try defending that crap. I dare ya to defend that spot. I do. Judge calls for an order in the court while pounding the mallet on the table. He wants Drake to let him go; or find him in contempt of court and smashes his table to bits in the process. That is one mean mallet and we pan over to see Drake choking Tusker. I knew that one day Drake couldn't put anyone over without bruising his ego and there is the proof right there. The judge goes over and apparently nails Drake in the head; but the xenon flash of doom stops the scene in it's tracks and turns into a photograph for a newspaper. We now head to Drake's house as Drake is sitting in his chair wearing the PHALLIC SYMBOL OF DEATH on his head covered with the leftover ice pack Kit threw in The Idol Rich. Too bad Kit's germs don't have any way to infect Drake and make him not suck.
There is a knock on the door and Drake tells it to go away because he has had a rough day of course. Drake goes to the door and opens it to reveal Herb Muddlefoot with the QUACKERWARE WARES OF DEATH calling this Drake's lucky day which means it's my lucky day of course to see Drake get buried. Drake simply pays him and takes the QUACKERWARE WARES OF DEATH and throws them into the pile of smashed dishes. Herb walks away without noticing and Drake shuts the door and blows him off. No surprise there as at Sun Woo and the CONTINUITY ERRORS haven't appeared...yet. There is another knock on the door and Drake answers it as Binky arrives with the clipboard and pencil asking for Drake to sign up for a wonderful program and I believe this is where the trouble really begins. Drake signs up and then blows off Binky in a harsh matter before shutting the door right in her kisser. Now do you understand why I don't like Drake Mallard?! Drake returns to the flipping chairs and then the door knocks again much to the power of Drake's headache. Drake wonders what could be worse than one of the Muddlefoots and then answers the door to reveal the answer: Two Muddlefoots of course. They introduce their new house guest which growls and looks like a monster bear in uniform or something like that.
Drake pulls Herb over and tells him that it's a convicted felon named Thug Neanderthal. We finally see him and he's a Frankenstein like dog and apparently Sun Woo hired Kennedy's color stylist since the blue uniform has changed into a black shirt. Like I said before: Color Styling is NOT A TOY! Only professionals should be using them. Binky points out that Thug is their adopted convict and Herb adds that his crimes were cruel and senseless. Only the Muddlefoots would be so dense to have him stay with them. I wonder if the program they signed up was really one to eliminate the Muddlefoot gene pool?! Thug blows wind through his nose on Drake just to amuse me and I just realized that this is what this episode really needs: More windbags. Drake blows it off the whole program as Binky tells him that his Adopt-A-Con (hence the episode title by the way) is going to be here any second now. The Muddlefoot's plus Con walk away as Drake slams the door behind them blowing them off. And then Drake gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and then opens the door and runs to stop the Muddlefoots before leaving the driveway. He demands answers and Binky tells him that Drake has signed for the Adopt-A-Con program.
Yeap; Drake is REALLY STUPID and maybe more stupid than ever before. Drake runs into the house and boards up the door followed by the wooden dresser against the door spot. He doesn't want to do play housemaid to a criminal see. That allows Gosalyn to appear to ask Drake what he is doing boarding up the entrance. Drake goes over and tells Gosalyn not to answer the door at all costs where looking like he is in a panic state. Sadly; Drake gets screwed because Launchpad appears OUT OF NOWHERE (how did he get there without anyone noticing?) as there is a knock on the door and Launchpad answers it because he has to do something as per in his contract. Drake tries to stop him; but Launchpad opens the door which proves that the boarding up did absolutely NOTHING to help him. Smooth one there Drake Mallard. It's the judge from earlier in the episode and Drake takes a wussy bump off of him and drops to the floor in another wussy bump. Sigh. Apparently; the judge isn't angry with Drake because he no sells the bump anyway (good for him) and shakes Drake's hand for supporting the Adopt-A-Con program. The judge helps Drake to his feet and sounds like he is ready to screw Drake good.
The judge takes out the contract and reads over DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) and violation of DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) or destroying of the contract (which Drake shows how REALLY STUPID he is by using the flamethrower on the contract before being forced to blow on it and throw water on the judge to save it...which the judge no sells by the way) will result in imprisonment. Drake asks about saving a whale and the judge actually no-sells that. You know what; I would rather see Drake in prison and end the episode now if it means the pain ends for me; but there is still 16 minutes left so the episode MUST CONTINUE!! And the judge's selling leaves a lot to be desired...and the judge gives him the big ass red panic button which will be used at the end of the episode no doubt. I'm calling the spot right now. And of course it is Tuskerinni. Oh; like you couldn't tell that one was coming a mile away?! Why do I get the feeling that Binky and the judge were in on the whole thing?! Couldn't Binky save this for her own episode where she become the Safety Supermom Super Hero?! Tusker shakes Drake's hand much to the SHOCK of Drake Mallard. Remember Drake's ultra contrived blitz on Tusker earlier?! Drake's beak just drops right on cue which is the funniest thing Drake has done so far in this episode.....
Scene changer and we head to the dinner table as Drake Mallard is sitting down staring at Tusker like he was some sexual predator not eating as Tusker talks about how he was returning the money that he has found. And that Drake appeared and accused him of stealing it. Since we never saw any evidence of that moment; Tusker does have a point there. Tusker is talking to Gosalyn and Launchpad about the robbery by the way Gosalyn calls Tusker a wimp because the Muddlefoots got a better criminal. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. And here comes Logic Break #1 for the episode as the table has been reversed when Drake stands up and decides to go upstairs to make Tusker's bed. One problem: There was a wall on Drake's side at the beginning of the scene. Really bad form there Sun Woo. Scene changer beckons and we see Drake humming the Rock-a-bye Baby song upstairs making Tusker's bed and putting the teddy bear on the bed which may or may not be a bomb depending on what Drake's mood was in when he was making the bed.
Gosalyn goes up and wonders if Drake is all right. Drake seems all right as he pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and that allows the piano to crash right onto the bed. Gosalyn loves it because that would mean that they can adopt Drake Mallard after being released from prison which forces Drake to recoil of course...unless he gives him the chair. I wish the judge would give him the chair now so I can stop ranting on this episode. Drake decides to keep an eye on him and allow Tusker to do what he wants to do because Tusker is dumb and Tusker doesn't know that he is DARKWING..DUCK! Sadly; as he tries to open the door; the wrecking ball swings and MURDERS Drake right through the door. No Joey Styles retort because I'm not going to waste my Grade S material on this episode. Disney needs to retire the Scooby Doo Angel Spot now. I'm getting sick of it already. We cut to the television set as Pelican's Island is on. Geez; this show is more wooden and forced than the real show in the real world. If you are going to do a rib on Gillian's Island; at least make the acting half decent. And of course Pelican blows off everyone before getting eaten by the MONSTER OF THE DAY.
Geez; didn't see that one coming at all no siree?! We finally cut to the sofa where Tusker, Launchpad and Gosalyn are watching this crap. Tusker explains that he has had a similar experience in the Amazon. Drake of course uses the magnifying glass and does some spots to annoy me. Where is the judge when we REALLY NEED HIM?! It's seven minutes in and I'm sick of this episode already! Then the door comes a knocking again and Drake answers it as there are the penguins with band cases. Tusker speaks Andre which is a French name; not a French word. Bad form there Disney Captions as Tusker explains that he has to learn a new trade; so he's going to be in a band. Okay; this could be good and anything good would make this episode somewhat enjoyable. Drake smells a rat of course because he's a paranoid guy who thinks criminals cannot be reformed. So what is Kit's excuse then?! Gosalyn then shows him a rat which freaks out Drake. Okay; there is the third funny spot of the episode seven minutes in. Drake goes over and asks if he can check the band cases and the penguins agree to that. Drake then jumps on the band cases and manages to open every one of them despite jumping on only one.
Logic Break #3 for the episode as they show a harp, a drum and a tuba. What?! No flute?! That's disappointing. Drake asks if he could play Lady of Spain as he admits that he wasn't carrying a bomb. Well; you can officially sign up Drake as a future baggage inspector for airlines now. At least Drake had every right to be concerned....You never know; someone might he planted a bomb to frame Tusker again and screw Drake right into prison. I don't know why Tusker should be upset. Scene changer beckons and head to Tusker's bedroom as Tusker and the penguins hide the music stuff inside. Tusker then reveals that he has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN and it involves crime of course. So much for being reformed as the penguins open up the music playthings to reveal a hammer and the chainsaw. Tusker goes to the closet and there is a skeleton in it in a symbolic moment. He pushes it aside and wants the penguins not to create such a racket. And of course they create a Drake as we cut to Drake outside hearing it and heading to the door. Drake knocks on the door wanting answers and Tusker claims that they are tuning up and slams the door.
Drake doesn't buy it and in my opinion; he is in the right for the second time in the episode. Hey; if you are going to create a racket in the house and not respect Drake's privacy; then Drake should at the least have the right to go in and inform him of respecting Drake's privacy if he wants Drake to respect his as per in DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!). We head inside as they do some really silly things inside which are not criminal; but just plain silly. We then head outside as Drake uses the SPRINGS OF DEATH and Drake gets the shock treatment from the wires. I wish Disney would make up it's mind on that spot and stick to one way. We head inside Tusker's room as Tusker is sitting on the yellow chair and reclining as he is ready to take up a new trade. Tusker gets the same spot and has better with it this time. Well; at least Sun Woo hasn't blown any spots; yet. We head outside again as Drake is climbing on the clothesline (Well; he can always say that he is exercising if someone sees him.) as Drake is in yodeling clothes (WHAT ARE THE WRITERS SMOKING HERE?!) and sees that Tusker really is starting up a band and decides to call off his peeping tom ways.
Sadly; we he really saw was a shadow of Tusker and the penguins because the penguins are playing shadow puppets. Wow; the henchmen have their working webfeet on today. Sadly the window pops from the frame and Drake free falls to his doom just in time for Launchpad to come out of the second window to inform him that Sparky is robbing a bank. Drake of course takes a wussy bump on the ground because this is Sun Woo and cuts his dangerous promo nine minutes in. We head inside the vault as the bank guard (a dogsperson in police uniform) tied up and gagged as Tusker dressed up as Sparky is pouring money into the bags. He even gives himself away as Tuskerinni. Well; there is the first rule violation right there (which is leaving the house). I know someone would say that there are four rules violated already; but Drake was in the right on three of them and the contract one Drake saved himself anyway. And here comes the smoke cloud (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND MOVIE RATING!) and the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckoning at 9:17....
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the slug that crawls....Hold the mayo....
And of course; he sees him as Tuskerinni which kills the MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN right there. Thankfully; Tuskerinni plays it as Sparky in an excellent disguise. Well; at least we are going to get some token action out of this before the commercial break arrives, so let's begin. Drake dares TuskerSparky to SHOCK him good and Tuskerinni reveals the MAGNETO GUN OF DEATH. Drake blows it off because it's really a hand vacuum cleaner. Now this episode really sucks...and in more ways than one. Sorry; no Ron Sparks material here; I'm not to waste it on this episode so let's move on. Drake invokes the gas gun and tells Tusker to suck gas. Normally; this would be a rule violation; but this is DARKWING...DUCK so it doesn't count here. Tusker sucks the gas bomb with the vacuum cleaner and that gets Drake pissed off. Drake and Tusker pull on the vacuum cleaner in a tug of war spot as the thing just gets more and more bloated. Drake loses the tug by eating stink gas (as Drake helpfully labels as such) and Tusker bails through the trap door. Drake gags and then decides to return home because he knows where Tusker is going. Tusker seems to have stolen an extra yellow chair as he springs back towards Drake's house and we cut to the FLIPPING CHAIRS OF DOOM and Drake reappears of course. Drake (dressed as DARKWING..DUCK which is very important here) goes over to the door and pushes the conveniently placed panic button (no logic break since Drake probably put it there) and proclaims that he has Tusker right where he wants him.
2:1 odds say Darkwing Duck will be screwed here. The judge arrives (in swimming gear which makes me giggle for all the wrong reasons of course) and he's SHOCKED to see DARKWING..DUCK here because he told him to stay away from Tusker. Huh?! Was there a restraining order on Darkwing Duck and I didn't noticed?! Darkwing Duck opens the door to declare that Tusker isn't here and of course Tusker is inside the room again. Drake is screwed of course as the judge demands answers. Drake accuses Tusker of robbing a bank again and he saw him. Tusker accuses Drake of framing him again and that allows Drake to blitz him and pound on Tusker. Oh come on Roberts; this is so contrived and forced that it's not funny. The judge peels Drake off because even he realizes that it is contrived (I hope that is the reason) and that allows Tusker to steal the spotlight and cut a pretty good promo as the judge calls Drake cruel and pounds on Drake's head declaring that he goes straight to jail. Drake protests this whole thing as the judge drags him out. I guess he had a restraining order on Darkwing Duck after all. That's the sort of thing you need to TELL the audience some that it MAKES SENSE. The door closes on Drake as Tusker sits in his chair laughing and declares that they have the perfect cover as he stands up to end the segment nearly 12 minutes in. Okay; I admit that this episode isn't really terrible story wise and animation wise thus far; but I just don't like this episode for the angle and it's getting harder and harder for me to rant on this one fairly.
After the commercial break; we head to the jail (Geez; it even looks like a small prison) as we head inside Drake's cell where Drake counts five minutes since he was in jail. Or five hours; I couldn't tell. Since it is dark outside; I'm guessing five hours here. Drake looks like he's insane as Gosalyn whisper yells outside his cell and Drake darts over to Gosalyn waiting for him. Drake demands that Gosalyn get him out of this joint. And he admits that he is stir crazy and he's been here for over five minutes. Okay; that was pretty funny as he drops Gosalyn down like a bad habit which gets him off my good graces again. Gosalyn proclaims that she has baked the CAKE OF CHAINSAW DOOM and shows it. Since there is no one near by; this is pretty apporos. We then cut over to the court as Launchpad walks over to his desk and presents him with the $500 needed to bail out DARKWING...DUCK. And of course the chainsaw cuts a circular hole through the wall and out pops DARKWING ...DUCK just in time to get MURDERED by the judge with the SLEGDEHAMMER OF PLOT.
The bail is up to $5,000 now. Circle scene changer as Drake is in another cell and Gosalyn whisper yells at Drake again and he comes to the cell window. Gosalyn brings out the potato peeler for Drake to dig his way out. Sadly; Herb borrowed the shovel so that the shoveling spot wouldn't be so painful. Drake digs a hole in the ground. When will the prison system in this world EVER LEARN not to use soil as a sub floor. Which brings as to Launchpad gathering $5,000 and bringing it to the judge and I predict Drake pops out; gets MURDERED by the judge for jail breaking again and the bail rises to five million dollars....I check the DVD....and that was just too predictable to call. Sadly; it's only $50,000 now as Drake gets popped back into his cell. At least the bumps are getting better as we see Drake clipping his fingernails with the potato peeler as Gosalyn pops into the window and Drake does the annoying Gruffi pose to annoy me some more. Gosalyn tells him not to worry because this will be the perfect jailbreak.
Why not just let Launchpad pay the bail money and get it over with because the sequence is getting on my nerves now. And of course she throws in the dynamite. Drake doesn't like this one as Drake tries to blow it out; but no dice. I betcha he throws it at the judge's desk just as Launchpad gathers the $50,000 in bail money and gets MURDERED with it...I check the DVD...and I'm wrong as Drake hides it in the bed and grabs onto the bars and screams that he wants to get out of here. And of course we cut to Launchpad with the wheel barrow complete with $50,000 and gives it to the judge. The judge opens the jail cell door and proclaims that he is free to go. And the judge warns him no funny business just as the TNT explodes right in his face of course. Man; Gosalyn should learn never to get another MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN in her head ever again......
Post-Production Glitch #1: Half second black slug in between two circle fades. Okay; that was different but it still doesn't help the episode in any way.
We get the night time moonlight sequence pan down over to Drake's house as Drake has clearly changed back to regular Drake Mallard. He, Launchpad and Gosalyn go towards the house. Drake decides it is time to turn the tables on him which Launchpad asks if he's going to challenge him to a game of golf (Remember Bugs Bunny anyone?!). Drake blows it off because they are taking up acting. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! As if Drake as he enters and realizes where all of the bail money came from as there is no stuff left in his house. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! The most entertaining part of the episode and I don't think it can get any better. We cut to Tusker arriving as he has an extremely long and highly amusing story to tell. He enters the dinning room and sees Gosalyn, Drake and Launchpad sitting at the table with various objects in order to MURDER Tusker. The GANG OF GAG is had and so they shove everything onto the floor. Tusker asks if he is intruding and Gosalyn blows it off and blows the cover...At least in theory judging by Gosalyn covering her mouth. Tusker is surprised as Drake admits that their cover is blown and they are part of the Mad Duck Mallard Gang.
If you are going to be a legit gang; then wearing black visors is the most wussy thing to do by the way. My advice: Never take advice from Chimillionaire. Drake pushes Tusker into his seat and proclaims that they have the perfect crime which is to rob the National Mint. Okay; this reverse psychology stuff might be good. He even shows the maps and science models to prove that he has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN. I cannot for the life of me be convinced that Drake could come up with anything complex since we all know that he's REALLY STUPID. Besides; he's violating the rules of leaving the house anyway; so he's going to be in prison at the end of the episode...Or it's a logic break of course. The game continues as Drake has one problem to solve. How to get in and out of the bank. Gosalyn offers Tusker to help them which Drake blows off because they are supposed to help reform Tuskerinni; not to help himself to ten zillion dollars. Tusker agrees until he finally gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY realizing that it is a lot of money of course. It is morning inside Drake's home as the penguins have finished building the tunnel and Drake springs the MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN into action.
Tusker and Drake will go in; rob the place with Launchpad and get out. Drake goes over to LP and Gosalyn and whisper yells to them the real plan: LP trips the silent alarm; Gosalyn watches the penguins and Drake watches Tusker of course. Drake then walks over to Tusker and the plan is going to fail I just know it. Tusker wants Drake to put on the BUSHY STUFF OF DOOM as he proclaims that Tusker isn't going to rob the bank; Bushroot is. Works for me I guess if it means that this episode will soon be over. We head inside the National Mint through the hole on the floor as Tuskerroot pops out of the hole. Sorry; no Baby Plucky jokes either. It's not worth it as Drake and Launchpad pop out and Drake takes a decent bump onto the floor. Drake tells LP to hit the silent alarm. However; the alarm is set off which get Drake pissed off. We then cut to see Gosalyn setting off the alarm by pulling the lever (WRONG LEVER!). Too funny as Drake stammers like an idiot. Yeah; Drake is REALLY STUPID which is the only witty retort I'm giving for this episode as a whole. Drake and Gosalyn try to bail; but we cut to the hole which is sealed by Launchpad with the cement. Too funny as Drake blows him off for that gaffe. Finally; some good entertainment after about sixteen minutes of hell.
There is some hope for this episode after all. Tusker comes down the stairs with the money and then realizes this he has been had. He tries to open the cement plugged hole; but no dice as the bullets ring over their heads. It's about 0.2 Trigun and the animation is rather choppy as per with Sun Woo. The police yell from outside and demand that Tusker surrender. Tusker realizes that the babyfaces have set him up and unleashes the bazooka (which is covered with plant stuff; nice cover) as Gosalyn steps up and tells him that DARKWING...DUCK set him up while Launchpad and Drake are scared as timid bunny rabbit. Wow; Sun Woo didn't screw that one up. It is a special day indeed! Tusker proclaims that DARKWING...DUCK has ruined his foul schemes and Drake proclaims that he isn't here. Tusker then decides to grab the obviously contrived placed ropes and chairs on the wall. On come on; like any bank would have those as weapons?! Tusker then grabs Gosalyn and before anything bad can happen to her we get the scene changer as we head outside with about three police cars, one police truck and a dozen officers outside barricading the outside ready to strike.
The sirens wail as the duck police tell Tusker to surrender or they will come in after him. They shoot at the glass window and shatter it. Luckly; Tusker dodged it by hiding behind the wall inside; or he would be dead. Tuskerroot blows them off and tells them to hold their fire because he has hostages. We pan over to see the babyfaces tied up in chairs and Tuskerroot threatens them with the bazooka and a plant metaphor which makes no sense as Drake proclaims that DARKWING...DUCK is tied up down to end the segment over seventeen and a half minutes in..Well; it's improving at least...
After the commercial break; we cut to the standoff as Tusker demands that they have one minute to hand over DARKWING...DUCK or else. I'm not going to argue with me; if he wants Drake to bury him then that is his own stupid fault. Gosalyn wants to bounce to the door; but Drake won't allow it since they will be MURDERED for real by the time they even get close to the door. Drake proclaims that they will have to give him DARKWING...DUCK and tells Gosalyn to cover for him. Drake breathes hard and then pushes through the ropes like a snake and is free as a whistle. Drake then cuts a full of himself promo like the REALLY STUPID Mallard that he is. Drake runs out the window and of course it's the old Warner Brothers free fall spot because Drake has to look REALLY STUPID while hatching his plan. Which is fine because it give Tusker some much needed heat on himself anyway. Nice sick flat pancake bump onto the grass by Sun Woo which was teasing to be off-screen and then became an on-screen bump. I wish Sun Woo would make up it's mind. Tusker wastes some fifteen seconds of time as Drake dusts himself off after blowing himself up off-screen of course and cuts another full of himself promo. Sadly; the writers decides to infect this episode with Cartoon Duck Syndrome and it's the vicious guard dog from You Sweat Your Life back to bite Drake's ass.
Since I like the dog and I hate Drake; I accept this overkill one time. Scooby Doo chase sequence beckons because this is COMEDY BABY!! He jumps over the electrical fence remembering to touch it to shock himself because that's all being REALLY STUPID is all about...YEAH!! That logically leads to the gator moat because all banks have at least one; right?! That's sarcasm of course. Now I can no longer accept this overkill. Just end this episode quickly; that's all I ask. Scooby Doo Chase Sequence #2 beckons and Drake goes through the forest and realizes that he has made it to the desert. Oh for crying out loud Steve; this is overkill gone too far...and it isn't funny anymore. So we get the panting spots were struggling through the desert and Sun Woo cannot even be bothered with animating sweat because Drake is over the hill overlooking the bank as he has only five seconds left to save the babyfaces. What a waste of time there and it was all unfunny. Drake runs behind the Mint sign and changes costumes to become DARKWING...DUCK. I swear to God I'll hate Steve Roberts for life if he does the previous sequence in reverse next. DARKWING..DUCK goes over to the police telling him that he is here...And apparently; the judge is here too. I guess he wants to MURDER him for planting that explosive under the bed in the beginning of Act 2.
The police exchange notes on the situation of course and Darkwing Duck mocks them then cuts the most self-serving promo I have ever heard to date which is ironic considering it is supposed to be a selfless promo. You are no MIRACLE WORKER Drake; Kit Cloudkicker would laugh you off on that one. The judge has heard enough and grabs Drake by the cape. He then demands to see the hostages first and Drake isn't too happy to hear that so he manages to get the judge to ungrip him and bails to find his lucky socks...And of course we do the EXACT SAME SEQUENCE IN REVERSE!! I officially hate Steve Roberts now and he wrote Bullethead Baloo and Flight of the Snowduck for goodness sakes. Cartoon Duck Syndrome: It can make anyone's writing turn to crap. Drake reties himself inside and Tusker tells the hostages to hop to the window and they sell. Tusker then show them and tells the police to hand over DARKWING DUCK first or no deal. And I bet Steve Roberts REPEATS THE FIRST SEQUENCE here. Luckly; he doesn't as the judge no sells the deal and DARKWING..DUCK arrives with the dog biting his ass. Darkwing gets into his face and threatens to break is gravel. I'm glad someone in this cartoon thinks Steve Roberts' writing here sucks and it's more amazing since it's DARKWING..DUCK blowing it off. Darkwing enters the bank first; but the judge decides to slip in second for backup because he just has to enforce the restraining order. WHY?! It's Bushroot robbing...oh; it's Tusker dressed up as Bushroot; but he deserves to get arrested anyway.
Darkwing Duck invokes the LEAD GRIP KUNG FU ACTION KICK OF DEATH on the wooden door and gets inside the hostage room.....And it's time to party BABEE!! Tuskerroot agrees to let the hostages bounce out and they sell as they bounce out promising not to tell the police that he is not Tuskerinni. Tuskerroot gets in the usual fed up promo and then tries to fire the bazooka; but he fires it wrong and it destroys the cement plug. Tusker then realizes that he could have avoided all of this trouble from the start. Oh man; there goes Tusker's heat right there. And he has no one to blame but himself for that. Tuskerroot drops into the hole and Drake runs after him despite the judge entering the room and saying freeze. Is this judge the mayor; or am I missing something here?! We go through the tunnel with Scooby Doo Chase Sequence #3 which is a sure sign of overbooking here as the GOOFS WITH ILLEGAL ATTITUDE flop onto the yellow chair and the lever (WRONG LEVER!) is pulled allowing them to spring them right into Tusker's room. The judge and Tusker hit the floor while Darkwing Duck gets the yellow chair of course because he is a coward. The judge then notices that it is really Tuskerinni proving that he is even more stupid than Darkwing Duck ever was. The world of QUACKERIA is right again as Tusker tries the frame routine; but gets MURDERED with the SLEGDEHAMMER OF PLOT allowing Tusker to count the blue birds as his villain creditability has flown the coop. So we head to the living room as Drake is sitting in his yellow chair while reading the newspaper on Tusker's demise.
I guess the judge was ordered by the city to pay back Drake for the bad attitude caused by the bad Adopt-A-Con program. Drake blows him and the program off as the knock on the door beckons for the tenth time in the episode; I think. Drake goes to the door declaring that even Herb cannot ruin his day. He opens the door and there is Herb at the door apologizing to Drake for hearing that Tusker ruined his day although not in those exact words. Drake and Herb exchange notes as Drake goes to the chair and proclaims that once a crook always a crook. Herb blows it off and shows off REFORMED THUG as he is the new salesperson for QUACKERWARE PRODUCTS OF DOOM. Thug is wearing the same shirt as Herb and he cuts the most rapid fire promo in history and it's so cool even Disney Captions cannot get it all in. I don't blame them; it's too fast even for me. Drake blows off the reformed Thug because he has to wear a bowl on his head after that promo. This mercifully ends the episode and Disc One at 21:09. Thank God it's over. This was an okay story and solid for the most part; but it got really bad at the climax and it really never looked back. ** ½ ( 50%).
THE REVIEW LINE
As I have said several times in past rants: And that is that. I didn't like this episode back when I was young and I still don't like it now. I personally feel that the whole angle of having criminals repaying their debits the apporos way is too insulting even for me. This was for the most part just not funny enough to be worth it. The story was solid for the most part and the animation was pretty much on for the most part with few logic breaks...until Steve Roberts decided to completely overbook the climax in order to waste two minutes of time which would have been better spent with Darkwing Duck trying to outsmart the dog before getting being bit on the butt by said dog. The ending was funny; but everything else was dull and blah. At least Darkwing's arrest made sense this time although it would have made more sense if the writers had added that Darkwing Duck was under a restraining order from the start. It can't hurt to have five seconds of time since they have no problem wasting two minutes on contrived spots that aren't funny. And of course the writers had to bury Tuskerinni as a villain near the end which I could have accepted if Drake was doing it; but it was the writers who thought Tusker had to be really stupid. Overall; an okay story that could have been better without the contrived third act.
This officially ends Disc One of Darkwing Duck Volume 2 as we had six thumbs up, one thumbs square in the middle and two thumbs way down including one negative star episode. That makes five thumbs in the middle, three thumbs way down (including two negative star episodes) and ten thumbs up for the volume thus far. That makes 23 thumbs up, 13 thumbs in the middle and nine thumbs down. This volume so far has turned into a slightly better experience; but the episode quality is really all over the place now and it becoming much clearer which series of the two (with TaleSpin) was the better one. This leave us with a....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.
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