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Life, The Negaverse & Everything
I smell a lawsuit in DIC's future!
Well; no one should be surprised that the Sailor Moon dubbers watched DTVA since they stole a lot of material from them as an excuse to not translate the show properly. Not that we would have gotten the homosexual material (but we could dream since we saw it in Samurai Pizza Cats which shows that sometimes; not having the Japanese script is a GOOD thing.). A lot of Darkwing Duck fans love this one and I have actually seen it and thought that it was pretty good myself. How does it measure up now? Let's rant on shall we...?!
The episode is written by Kevin Campbell and Brian Swenlin (who did Just Us Justice Ducks; what a shock?). The story is edited by Steve Roberts. This one is done by Walt Disney Animation Japan and the ANIMATION STUDIOS OF RUIN I bet. At this point; I'm glad they are here actually.
We begin this one with the far shot of THE CITY OF SAINT CANARD in the morning; as we pan over to a shot of the green hideout because Disney ALWAYS makes sure that five year old's know who the heels are and we head inside as the Fearsome Five are slobbering over the spoils of their crimes. They throw their spoils into the sacks and NegaDuck decides that he is going to bail on them. Quackerjack stops him at the pass and complains about it which means Neggy gets to MURDER him with the LOADED SACK OF STINK! OUCH! That's going to leave a mark. Neggy basically wants to bail because the Fearsome Four sucks basically as he tries to leave but Buddy stops him at the pass. Buddy and Sparky deduced that NegaDuck has a secret hideout which Neggy uses sarcasm on Sparky in order to insult his dry cells. And he breaks Sparky's light bulb of course, just to be a murderous bastard. Bushroot then commits CONTINUITY ERROR #1 by proclaiming that they have no secret hideouts. Oh wait; Quackerjack lives in a toy factory, Buddy lives in a water bottling plant, Bushroot lives in a greenhouse and Sparky lives in a house. That MURDERS the CONTINUITY ERROR right there. NegaDuck hasn't revealed his hideout see so that is how you know that it is a secret. Bushroot of course gets tied into a knot by Neggy while he blows him off because (a) it wouldn't be a secret hideout anymore and (b) The Fearsome Four are a bunch of geeks and they hang out with the Iron Sheik and the Legion of Doom. Okay; I made up the last part. Neggy storms off and states that he'll be back for the next crime as everyone groans. Why do these four geeks ever want to work with NegaDuck anyway?!
Koosh basically states that Neggy is boring as a bore so what do they see in him other than his violent behavior?! Quacky is ticked off and you know he is pissed because he is talking to Mr. Banana Brain about it. He then reveals the obvious way to make that secret hideout not be a secret: Follow him. Okay; that makes sense and since it does we cut to the living room of Drake's house as Drake is sleeping on a couch which shows that he didn't care about the fact that the Fearsome Five ROBBED everyone out of house and home. Is Drake Mallard a benefactor of the Fearsome Five so he can pay for all of Gosalyn's misdeeds? TUNE INTO SOFT COPY TO FIND OUT!! I see Drake's fashion sense is slipping since he's sleeping on a red pillow. Shouldn't he be sleeping on a blue one?!
And speaking of the devil child incarnate; here's Gosalyn with the MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HARTS to yell at Drake because it is Honker's birthday party. Maybe Drake should have been out fighting the Fearsome Five after all...Wink..Wink...Nudge..Nudge. Drake grabs the megaphone and proves that he is such a windbag by yelling at Gosalyn so hard that wind comes out of the megaphone. Too funny as he proclaims that he hates the Muddlefoots; DUH! Now THAT is feeling BABEE! Timmy Turner's dad should be ashamed of himself. Gosalyn decides to play the old I won't clean my room card (To quote Bill Cosby: Yeah right?!) and Drake blows it off as Gosalyn sits on the couch. Drake suggests Launchpad as the alternative and Gosalyn blows that off because he's picking up the birthday cake..which logically leads to...
....A shot of a lame looking bakery and we cut to inside as we see it filled with sugary treats. Huh?! Logic...In a DARKWING… DUCK episode?! WHAT ARE THE ODDS?! We pan over to Launchpad tasting a cake made of peanut butter, honey and sauerkraut cake. One guess who suggested the sauerkraut part of the cake?! And the cake is bigger than Launchpad's body weight of course; although it looks really cool (for a birthday cake) so I'll let this spot slide. 5:1 odds that the birthday cake will be slammed into Honker's face before this episode is over by Tank. 2:1 odds that it will be slammed into Honker's face by Gosalyn. 1:1 odds that the cake will be destroyed by Herb or Drake or both. We head outside and here comes NegaDuck with the sack walking around the corner. UH OH! I think we know where his hideout is..and it's SO GAY! No wonder Neggy wondered no one to find it. NegaDuck sneaks into the bakery and walks in while Launchpad grabs the cake and somehow manages to not SEE him because the cake is in the way. Good use of a plot device for a change as Launchpad walks out and NegaDuck opens the Private door (helpfully labeled as such) and walks in. Launchpad teases a possible look at NegaDuck; but the cake doesn't agree with that and Launchpad walks out.
We cut to the window where the Fearsome Four realize that his hideout is in a FREAKIN BAKERY! It's the Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice Bakery which is where Professor Utopium bought the stuff to create the perfect little girls. So there is a historic little moment for all you Power Puff Girl fanboys out there. Or maybe not...I'm amazed that they didn't laugh at him for that spot because he deserved it anyway. Buddy thinks that there must be more to this and they storm right into the bakery. They practice the ART OF NOT BEING SEEN BY NEGADUCK which works. Sadly; they forget to practice the art of not being seen by Launchpad who is STILL IN THE FREAKIN BAKERY FIDDLING WITH THE CAKE! That is one stubborn cake. Launchpad proclaims that he must find DW of course as we logically cut to the FAKE JUNGLE OF DOOM because it's Honker's birthday of course. Honker is sitting down at the table (complete with goofy party hat of course) reading books about revisionist history while Gosalyn sits right beside him looking bored (and a complete tool wearing that party hat). Gosalyn of course blows it off and gets the GREEN RING OF PAPER DOOM as Herb wearing his Pelican's Island gear because for today only; Pelican's Island is the theme for Honker's birthday. Well; Honker likes that show so it is apporos. Hey; even Honk needs amusing mindless entertainment. Binky is wearing Hawaiian clothes to sell the whole thing. I see Drake has gotten over his hate of the Muddlefoots for one episode which puts him one step ABOVE Timmy Turner's dad in that department.
I don't expect it to last of course and it lasts about five seconds as the Muddlefoot dress up Drake Mallard as the sidekick from Gillian's Island. Don't ask me who is who because I have not watched Gillian's Island enough to notice. I know that bad hat, red shirt= sidekick though. Drake goes back to hating them of course. Herb drags Drake's arm towards the black BBQ. Thank goodness it wasn't a kettle pot or that would be hitting way too close to home. Right Shawn Michaels?! Herb feigns surprise (Surprise? From Herb? Yeah right?!) and he opens it to reveal: coconut burgers! BWHAHAHAHAHA! I am so loving this because Herb is getting back at Drake for all the mean things he has done to him. Drake laughs it off and then wants to leave. Thankfully; Launchpad is coming soon so you might just be able to do that. And just as I was typing that; here comes Launchpad with the birthday cake as he does some wonderful acting like he is drained from carrying that cake around and Herb finally grabs it and cuts a Gillian's Island promo. Herb and Binky both leave stage right with the cake as Drake steps on Launchpad to show that he is the heat machine of course and Launchpad continues his wonderful acting by proclaiming that the Fearsome Five are at the bakery. Drake sees this as a way to get out of the party and wants LP to create a diversion since Gosalyn is on the Muddlefoot's side in this one.
Launchpad gets off death reference #1 and then flops in a funny spot which Drake blows off for being too subtle. You can now blame Drake Mallard for all of those shows who blew off the fine art of being subtle in a series. Drake has a MIMI JOKE PLAN as we cut over to the birthday cake tower as everyone minus Drake and Tank has surrounded the birthday cake. Tank comes running like the wind which is a south westerly wind this time and Drake trips him while hiding in the bushes. You can now officially point to Drake Mallard for being the inspiration for Peter Griffin making Meg Griffin look absolutely useless. And Tank is the one who gets his face smashed into the birthday cake. I put Tank at 5000:1 odds so I win $5,000 which I will gladly refuse for obvious reasons. Drake comes out of the bushes and acts in such an unconvincing way that only a person with an IQ of less than 50 would buy it. Which means only Honker and Gosalyn would buy it.
Drake runs away to fetch another cake as Tank pops out of the previous one which actually looks good enough in spite of Tank's face being smashed into it. Drake steps on Launchpad and misses the nose completely. You are no Molly Cunningham Drake as Launchpad wakes up and smells the coconut burger. So we head to the PRIVATE ROOM OF DOOM as NegaDuck is looking at something really weird inside one of those gimmick birthday cakes that was probably sold to Randy Orton in order to beat up HHH on an episode of RAW. And then Sparky ruins the moment for Neggy (YAY! I mean D'OH!) by proclaiming that there he was. NegaDuck jumps down and demands answers. The Fearsome Four act like geeks and just mumble as the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckons at 5:18....
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the cholesterol that clogs your arteries!
Memo to Drake: Trans Fat is the most dangerous to your health. Just so you would like to know. The dreaded smoke cloud (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND MOVIE RATING!) reveals itself in front of the bakery entrance as the Fearsome Four over sell fear and turn around. And here comes Drake as NegaDuck is ticked off now. So much for the secret hideout of course which is good because it's the WORST CHOICE IN THE HISTORY OF CRIMINAL KIND! And NegaDuck does Canadians proud by calling the Fearsome Four a bunch of knobs as they cower in shame. See Koosh; I'm starting to like NegaDuck because I'm watching a GOOD episode instead of the total messes I have seen from the Fearsome Five thus far. Sparky blows it off because they are not knobs..and they will prove it. Best way to prove it: Don't be a Canadian. Sadly; they prove it by attempting to fry Drake. Works fine with me guys as Drake is screwed. They jump Drake and it's the old FCC FRIENDLY CLOUD DUST OF DEATH because showing actual punching is EVIL and might encourage children to think that taking an on-screen punch is cool. And since Sun Woo is not animating this episode; the spot actually works well.
Nega Duck walks towards the door as the Fearsome Five actually beat up Drake and hoist him above their shoulders in victory. Wow! Usually; the dust cloud indicates a huge babyface comeback. Then again; I consider Drake a heel at this point for obvious reasons so it works here. The Fearsome Four Knobs run Drake towards the portal inside the birthday cake and try to throw him into it much to the protests from NegaDuck. They throw DARKWING...DUCK right into the middle of the birthday cake and Quacky asks for approval from NegaDuck. Neggy then calls them knobs again (YAY!) and they have ruined everything. See; they actually threw Drake into the...wait for it...wait for it some more...THE NEGAVERSE!! BWHAHAHAHAHA!! Does that mean Drake will have to face the likes of Queen Beryal, Jetite, Metlite, Zoitie and Zoitie's lover?! Does that mean Drake will have to defeat the Doom Tree, Allan, and Anne? Does this mean Disney has a basis for a lawsuit against DIC for ruining the perfect image of the Negaverse?! For all those answers: TUNE INTO SOFT COPY TO FIND OUT!
Drake does the yelling spot as he falls into the junk column as Sparky says What?! Actually this is NegaDuck's REAL secret hideout! Okay; now that is awesome..Buddy cuts an ad promo and the Fearsome Four run away to deal with Neggy for another day. NegaDuck jumps into THE NEGAVERSE because that is his home apparently. Normally; I would do the old Fong voice and tell you that this is a distortion of reality; but this is DARKWING..DUCK and logic died a long time so we head to the NEGAVERSE BAKERY OF DOOM which is basically the same room as if a small hurricane blasted into the room and destroyed everything but the BIRTHDAY CAKE WARP OF DOOM of course. And of course; since it believes that Drake as an international object equals funny; the top pops and Drake blows up and destroys the ceiling of course....Oh wait...
Joey Styles: We just fixed that ceiling!
Sadly; it's not the glass ceiling to show how far Kit Cloudkicker would go in the Disney world. Can you sense how bitter I am with Disney?! Drake flies into the air and where he lands I really don't care. Oh; he does a MAN-SIZED bump into the pavement on a street in front of the Negaverse Bakery. Even the pavement breaks on cue so you know that one was sick. Sadly; he didn't land on top of his head which shows that BS&P will never allow that spot again (See Baloo's head splat from Polly Wants A Treasure). Drake does a forward roll and the dizzy star spot finally shows up. Drake wonders where everyone is and I'm amazed that he's gone this long without cutting a full of himself promo at this point. He hasn't even been REALLY STUPID at this point or even cut a bad VOICEOVER OF DOOM promo either.
Drake walks around for a while wondering how long he was knocked out as his beautiful Saint Canard looks like a polluted city of Los Angeles. Some time has passed and NegaDuck then one up everyone minus Baloo and does an ultra sick MAN-SIZED bump right on top of his head. I have been proven WRONG AGAIN! Sadly; the pavement doesn't break as badly this time around. NegaDuck no sells the shot and cuts a promo on NegaVerse Canard and wonders where Drake went remembering to swear in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (blasted). Sadly he walks into the opposite direction that Drake was going (Drake is going northwest, Neggy is going south east in case you are wondering). This place is just a tad too cartoony to be dark; but then again this is COMEDY BABY and black humor isn't really compatible with family-friendly Disney. Or kid-friendly Disney for that matter. We get the pan shot of Drake's badly destroyed house as we pan over to the flipping chairs and they somehow STILL WORK in this place. Drake appears in the right chair of course.
Drake then blows off Gosalyn for completely destroying the house and rewiring the house for five minutes. Boy; that knock out blow must have killed his brain cells. He goes into the kitchen and tries to turn on the portable television; but no dice. Drake blows off Gosalyn for blacking out the whole city again. Yeah; when it comes to blacking out the city; it's never the less obvious choice like Sparky; it's ALWAYS Gosalyn Waddlemayer Mallard. And speaking of the devil incarnate; here comes Gosalyn wearing a goofy dress (and bad ribbons in her hair like Molly Cunningham does actually) that makes her look like a complete tool in that outfit. No wonder Gosalyn hates dresses; her fashion sense sucks like crap. See her fashion sense in Apes of Wrath. You would have think that when Gosalyn proclaims that she dirtied up the place as he ordered; you would think Drake would have gotten the message that he was NOT in the right Saint Canard; but reason has never been Drake's real strength. And of course here comes Launchpad wearing bum/punk clothes carrying the loaded sack...and he looks drunk...and mean. Apparently; it is filled with toys which pour out of the sack when LP throws it down.
Blink & Miss Moment #1: One of the dolls is a Zummi Gummi doll. There is a duck doll with the same blue ribbons tied around her ears like Molly Cunningham as well I should note.
Apparently; someone planted a rose bush which Launchpad throws down and invokes the ax to chop it down. Drunk Launchpad just sounds so corny for some odd reason. Drake is shocked and Launchpad acts mean to him by getting in his face of course. Gosalyn then realizes that Drake doesn't look like Mr. Grumpypuss. And now the portable television is working fine (Logic Break #1 for the episode) as a dogsperson reveals that DARKWING..DUCK is officially the criminal in Saint Canard and Mighty NegaDuck demands that Drake be arrested on sight. Neggy then appears OUT OF NOWHERE and pushes the news reporter away into an off-screen decent bump and demands that Drake be MURDERED more or less. Or worse...skinned! Now this is the cool NegaDuck; not the asinine one that gave us THE SWITCH! NegaDuck goes on a nasty violent rant (and a good one too) which includes burning him to ashes and then arrest him.
The King of the Singing Sword has NOTHING on NegaDuck as Drake wonders why he is on Television. And then he reveals that Darkwing Duck looks just like him; showing him a black & white picture of himself. Well; that is good information as Launchpad gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and gets the rocket launcher(How did he get that into the house I wonder?) as Drake questions his sanity. I would question his sobriety too while I am at it. Drake pushes Gosalyn away and manages to dodge the rocket anyway. Okay; that was a good spot as he basically kidnaps Gosalyn AGAIN (remember that Gosalyn's father in this world is not Drake Mallard; it's NegaDuck) and bails stage right out of the house. This Gosalyn is actually taking her kidnapping well as Launchpad follows with the Rocket Launcher of Doom. Hey; that just writes itself. Drake jumps over the fence and runs straight to the Muddlefoot's house (oh, the irony!). He finds a window and opens it; and then throws Gosalyn into the window and she lands on her feet proclaiming that DARKWING..DUCK is here to save us all. Drake jumps into the window and does some flips and manages to stop on a dime right front of Tank Muddlefoot. Who happens to be the nicest duck in the city. BWHAHAHAHAHA! I see he's playing Honker's role in this one.
I think Drake should be realizing by now that this is not his own world that he is in; but Drake is REALLY STUPID so I doubt it. Drake is really upset now and wants answers now. Tank gleefully gives them to him as he explains that Drake entered the door between the two world into the Negaverse (using pictures of the two Saint Canard to sell the point.). I am so disappointed because none of the Sailor Moon villains have arrived yet. Tank does a complete oversell of the Negaverse just to amuse me. Tank? Amusing me? WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?! Tank explains that everything is opposite of Drake's universe. This of course is how NegaDuck existed. Sadly; this would contradict the episode called NegaDuck of course; but who cares?! This episode is rocking my world. Drake of course blows it off by acting nice. HUH?! Sadly; Herb and Binky call out and both Tank and Gosalyn grab Drake in order to hide him. Sadly it doesn't work because here comes Herb and Binky in biker gear proclaiming that they are missing Honker's birthday party. I betcha Honker is the dumbest, most nastiest kid of them all here. They grab Drake and they STILL think it's Lord NegaDuck in his gloomy purple outfit. Even in the Negaverse; density is not considered an opposite in this world. Tank whisper yells at Gosalyn to go get help as Gosalyn bails of course. We cut to outside as Herb bust through the door with Drake and we see that he is basically everything I said minus the dumb part. MY GOD! This is REALLY EVIL!!
The cut off heads tied to a wooden stake to be roasted...and all the skulls abound...and Honker looking like a biker version of Adolf Hitler. EVIL HONKER~ jumps around like he has a superball up his ass (seriously) and blows Drake's cover, DUH! Honker just cuts a nasty promo while bouncing as Herb and Binky grab him. Drake screams...badly..as Honker just goes nuts as it is party time. The BBQ FROM HELL shows up and Drake is tied to the big ass spatula as Honker chants Darkwing Burgers in rapid fire as Herb and Binky hoist Drake right in the middle of the BBQ FROM HELL. I see NegaDuck is a huge TaleSpin fan which means my opinion of him increases about three notches. They slap him onto the BBQ FROM HELL as Drake perfers NEVER to hate the Muddlefoots again. Then Drake gets SHOCKED (Logic Break #2 for the episode since it makes no sense) and Drake goes into dizziness to and the dizziness has stopped sort of for DARKWING..DUCK as he is sitting in a chair in a gloomy, dreaded, dirty room as someone is asking question and Drake is in a stupor and answering them. And in jump the Fearsome Four in front of him as they say freeze which ends the segment for real almost 12 minutes in. Whew! I thought the shock and awe ended it there and since Sparky is involved the second logic break is gone from the episode. This is just AWESOME now.
After the commercial break; Quacky starts chanting that the Fearsome Four has got DARKWING..DUCK which allows Drake to get out of his seat (which is a sign that the Fearsome Four are babyfaces here) and invokes the gas gun and backs up them because he wants them to suck gas and be sorry for screwing him. Remember that the Fearsome Four kicked Drake's butt earlier in the episode? Drake hasn't forgotten and so hasn't the writers for a change. Sparky actually apologizes and asks Drake to put the gas gun down. Drake then agrees with them and puts the gas gun inside his suit. Well; he just couldn't be REALLY STUPID for more than 12 minutes now couldn't he?! And of course the Fearsome Four gangs up on Drake and basically creams him good. Drake protests this outrage and blows off NegaDuck and threatens the Fearsome Four with some crazy talk. The Fearsome Four are SHOCKED and APPALLED because they are actually against NegaDuck. Well; Koosh thinks NegaDuck sucks so he's popping for the Fearsome Four on this one. I am too; but for a different reason. I'll let you figure that one out on your own there. Bushroot declares that they rescued Drake and the Fearsome Four are now the Friendly Four. Yeah; they are the opposites from. THE NEGAVERSE! BWHAHAHAHAHA!
Drake gets up and realizes something that this is all just a bad dream. A bad dream is finding out that I have to rant on a bad DARKWING..DUCK episode for real Drake. He claims that it's all Herb's fault and those coconut burgers even though he didn't eat one in the entire episode by the way. He still cannot go without attacking the Muddlefoots can he?! Drake walks away and cuts his first full of himself promo almost 13 minutes in and then takes about seven self-inflicted SICK MAN-SIZED bumps into the steel door in front of him with his head. OUCH! That's going to leave a mark...on the steel door. Drake gets dizzy again which is getting funnier by the second. Drake realizes that he is still in the Negaverse and decides to return to the Bakery from whence he came; but the Friendly Four stop him (with Sparky leading of course).
Drake plows through them like the heartless coward that he is (despite the protests from the Friendly Four) as Drake blows them off and then sees Nega Gosalyn in front her looking ultra cute. And they say Molly is sugary cute?! Cartoon Duck Syndrome; the ultimate in selective memory. Nega Gosalyn tells him that he shouldn't keep her waiting that then it's the sugar hug which is so funny to watch which Drake asks the Fearsome Four who Nega Gosalyn's father is and they reveal that it is NegaDuck which I called about five minutes ago. Drake gulps a bit and then declares after a really heartwarming speech that he'll stay to fight NegaDuck. Am I watching an awesome TaleSpin episode or something here?! That is the first episode I have ever seen in this series where the writers actually did some really good pathos. Maybe there is hope for this cartoon duck after all.
Scene changer and we see Drake (in coach gear) barking out orders because it's time to whip the Friendly Four into shape. So we go into various scenes where the Friendly Four start working out. Buddy is boxing with the punching gloves, Sparky is doing math with a calculator (cheater!), and Bushroot is working with chemicals and they explode in his face creating the black face. I guess BS&P still allows that spot I see. Quackerjack is inventing something as Drake wants answers to Quackerjack's latest misdeeds and Quackerjack proudly introduces to the world....wait for it...wait for it some more............ THE TOY CLOWN OF DEATH! BWHAHAHAHAHA! Drake doesn't buy it as a nasty weapon; but Quacky demos it by putting it down on the counter and it nearly chops off Drake's beak with the ax. OUCH!
That is one nasty toy clown. Drake giggles that off as we go to the army lineup and Drake proclaims that their ultimate surprise is that Drake cuts a full of himself promo and that the Friendly Four is working for DARKWING...DUCK!! Complete with gay Zorro hat and cape of course. And of course the doors break down and here comes NegaDuck, Launchpad, Honker, Binky and Herb complete with matching rocket launchers! NegaDuck carries nothing of course because he's not over even in his own Negaverse. Go figure that one out and sulk. And everyone including Tank who finally appears to show that he wasn't written out of the episode are SHOCKED and APPALLED by this happening. I was going to call Logic Break #2 for the episode; but since a lot of time has passed; I'm sure Tank returned to find Gosalyn so it's not a logic break.
However; it's clear that Tank unintentionally led them to the hideout so it's all his fault. Remember that folks! Drake is not happy to see this happening to him. NegaDuck proclaims to his goon squad to take them to....THE TOWER!! And of course he means it because the thunderclap beckons to oversell the entire point. Well; it could have been worse. It could have been...THE SWITCH!! Scene changer beckons and we get a shot of the Nega Canard city as NegaDuck asks for Drake's approval of the city and Drake blows him off while being strapped to a coffee table. UH OH! I don't like where this is going. Good Magical Kingdom promo from Drake if only because it can be used as a rib for the disregard Disney shows to their theme parks in safety nowadays. NegaDuck counters that one and reveals the NEGAHAMMER OF DOOM (A giant hammer if case you didn't realize) and Drake is going to be his own personal pancake.
Insert evil laugh here as Drake blows him off because he wants Neggy to shut up. Drake wants Neggy to kill him (death reference #2 for the episode) as Neggy tsks him for that promo because it sucked. See; Neggy wants the slow and painful process so he has it tied to a rope with the SWINGING SLICER OF DEATH; a prop leftover from The Balooest of Bluebloods. So that is where all the TaleSpin props went?! I knew Michael Eisner was evil! And of course Drake's opposite friends cannot help them of course as they are held in the PLASTIC GLASS JAIL OF DEATH. Neggy remembers to insult them because they are too goody two-shoes to save DARKWING...DUCK!! Neggy goes out the door remember to cut his promo of pain and suffering..and then to really amuse me; he opens the door again and calls them losers before closing the door again. I'm really liking this NegaDuck; but then again maybe it's because the writers are actually writing it like a TaleSpin episode; rather than their usual Cartoon Duck Syndrome like episode. Drake is officially screwed as the SWINGING SLICER OF DOOM continues cutting the rope slowly as Drake gulps in fear...That ends the segment right there over 16 minutes in. Now the question remains: Can they finish this perfect episode without overkill?! TUNE INTO SOFT COPY...Oh wait; just read the rest of my rant...never mind.
After the commercial break; we get the slow dramatic MUSIC OF DOOM as Drake is helpless and the Friendly Four plus Nega Gosalyn and Nega Tank are losers. Quacky then brings out his CLOWN OF DEATH and hugs it while Drake does his VOICEOVER OF DOOM and then yells at Quackerjack to USE THE CLOWN in a recycled spot from Bringing Down Babyface (USE THE SOCK!) and Quacky pushes the red button and it produces about six axes now. Okay this could be good. The CLOWN OF DEATH breaks through the glass with the greatest of ease and quickly gets in front of Drake Mallard and starts chopping as Drake is regretting his decision. The CLOWN OF DEATH gets onto the table and gets invokes the axes on Drake. Thankfully; the animators were smart enough to make the shots miss Drake and hit the cape instead as this was a major BS&P problem here. The ropes are cut in the confusion and Drake jumps off the table taking a little damage; but not much. Drake then cuts him usual full of himself promo and of course the CLOWN OF DEATH gets squashed by the NEGAHAMMER OF DEATH. NOOOOOOOO! He was so...COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!
And of course Drake gulps and officially cuts his dangerous promo which means the finish is almost at hand. Scene changer leads to a pathway. Sparky appears and he cuts his alternative dangerous promo and invokes the ZAP HANDS OF DOOM and that is enough to light up the city. Huh?! Buddy cuts his ad promo and swims into the sludge fountain and it magically turns into clean water. Double huh?! Bushroot fixes all the dead plants and they rise from the ground. Okay; I get the plan now as Drake asks for NegaDuck to come. However; we cut to the Bakery as NegaDuck and his even more over heels than he is are there and Nega Duck is angry as hell. So; he's going to take it out on the real Saint Canard. Wow; NegaDuck grew a real brain. WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?! They storm into the bakery as Neggy is sick of this place and then as they are within 20 feet of the BIRTHDAY CAKE WARP OF DEATH; the smoke cloud beckons (AND THAT'S GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND MOVIE RATING because this is the NEGAVERSE see!) and the saintly VOICEOVERS OF DOOM beckons at 17:54...
Friendly Four: We are the terrors that flap in the night! We are the soap that's cleaning this town! We are DARKWING...DUCKS!
The smoke clears and they reveals the Friendly Four wearing DARKWING...DUCK outfits. BWHAHAHAHAHA! Wonder how much ego did Drake kill in order to accept that one?! Sadly it's still five against four so I'm still hedging my bets on NegaDuck winning this one. Nega Gosalyn gets Keen Gear #1 for the episode behind the window along with Tank. NegaDuck blows them off as the same old losers and tells Herb to grill them. Herb jumps forward with more distance than humanly possible and unleashes the SPATULA NAUCHUNKS OF DEATH on our heroes. Sparky is not impressed and is ready to prove that they are NOT LOSERS anymore. I'm not willing to put bets on that happening. Buddy creates some water as Herb foolishly runs like an idiot and slips into Quackerjacks' feet and it's ball rolling time. Quacky punts Herb away as the Crack Disney Captions team misses the dialog from Herb.....Wait a second?! Did he say: What the hell?! During that sequence?! Nah! He couldn't have. Everyone knows Disney doesn't allow that word even in phantom form...right Miss Cunningham?!
Drake appears and cheers on the Friendly Four for actually doing something right. Sadly; Drake is right there like the REALLY STUPID mallard that he is and gets jumped from behind by NegaDuck; DUH! The HERB BALL OF DEATH basically knocks out everyone except Honker (because children cannot take that bump despite Kit getting squashed by Baloo in Captains Outrageous) and take a really good bump into the wall. Wow; the animators are FEELING IT TONIGHT BABEE!! Honker goes to them and Binky tells him to basically MURDER them for hurting her more or less while still acting like a mother. That is so AWESOME as Honker gets the chain and starts swinging at Sparky and Bushroot. The babyfaces dodge the shots of course and Sparky grabs chain on the rebound and shocks Honker!! OH MY GOD! I thought that spot was forbidden to do on little child characters. Honker just one upped Kit Cloudkicker in that department.
Great over the top shock sell from Honker to boot making it even more AWESOME as Sparky blows him off. Bushroot goes to the planter pot and revives some of those GIANT SUNFLOWER OF DEATH and it ties up Honker and go towards the window. The GIANT SUNFLOWER OF DOOM literally POPS Honker right out of the episode for good! HOLY CRAP?! Honker is just taking a pounding here! We cut back to the least funny door as Nega and Drake roll on the ground like a bunch of school children. This is like a complete joke compared to what Honker suffered earlier. They make it to the BIRTHDAY CAKE WARP OF DOOM and then it's a wrestling match. NegaDuck gets the first shot in which is a hip toss takedown. They exchange kicks and none of them make any contact whatsoever. CANADIAN VIOLENCE misses from Neggy (BOO HISS!) as Drake smiles like the REALLY STUPID Mallard that he is and Nega Duck grabs him by the neck of course because he's the heel see and does the FLIP KICK OF DEATH which allows Drake to fly out of the room and crash right into the Friendly Four with a MAN-SIZED bump. That is the closest thing to being a contrived spot and yet it wasn't. Now you know this episode rules.
Neggy exits into the real world via the birthday cake of course as Drake recovers and Gosalyn tells him to go after NegaDuck because his Gosalyn needs him. Drake is about to enter; but he stops and asks her if she's going to be all right and Gosalyn tells him not to worry because she's got the Friendly Four Darkwing Ducks to protect her. This is just foreshadowing of what good pathos can be and it will really play an important role in Time & Punishment. However; that is another rant as Drake and Nega Gosalyn hug in a really good moment and then Drake leaves into the CAKE WARP OF DOOM. Time wasting portal sequence beckons as we are now about two minutes away from the finish....Now any overkill is actually apporos because they wrote the episode properly and the writers have earned the right to do some overbooking in the end. Somehow; I think they won't in this episode. NegaDuck tries to make it to the exit (helpfully shown as some weird portal thing.); but here comes Drake and Neggy doesn't like it. So; he pays off all the junk that was just there in this episode and grabs the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE from a horse. It's limbo COMEDY BABY; what did you expect?! NegaDuck uses it as a whip and Drake blocks the shots with the trashcan lid. Sadly; it breaks into two and Drake is screwed badly. Geez; what a shock?!
More whipping from NegaDuck and the rope wraps around Drake's arm. Drake pulls the whip out of his hand and it attaches itself to the universal plug. Drake struggles to pull it out like the REALLY STUPID Mallard that he is much to the protestations from NegaDuck. And of course he pulls it out and remembers to allow the giant plug to MURDER NegaDuck right in the head with ANOTHER SICK BUMP. The warp creates a whirlpool and after a long sequence; they get sucked into oblivion. Yeah; it's overbooked; but whatever. Lucky; Drake lassos the plug right onto the portal gate and hangs on for dear life. NegaDuck hangs on for one moment and blows off Drake before being basically sucked into the whirlpool for good. Sadly; he will somehow COME BACK FROM HELL in Disguise The Limit just to screw us even more. The portal seems destined to die as well; but Drake manages to get into the portal and close it up in time before the portal is sucked to it's death as well. Both worlds are now saved thanks to DARKWING..DUCK!!
Drake pops out of the cake and that cake is completely destroyed of course. Sadly; the animators screwed it up because when Drake pops out first; they used Nega Duck's color scheme. Annoying; but I'll forgive them. Drake is so happy that he actually forgets to cut a full of himself promo. So; we head back to Pelican's Island Birthday Party Showcase as Herb is attending to the BBQ and the door opens from the Muddlefoot's house and here comes Drake dressed up like the goofy sidekick carrying the birthday cake. And it's a valentine one so 2:1 odds that it will be smashed in the next 20 seconds or so left in this episode. Gosalyn hugs Drake and Drake is glad to see her. Gosalyn grabs the cake and leaves which means the world is right again as Herb has saved him a couple of coconut burgers for him. Drake teases a heel turn; but he decides that he loves the Muddlefoots. Well; that is a good start sezs I. Circle fade out to end the episode at 21:09. I think you know what this episode is getting. ***** ( 100%)
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; I believe that we got our first contender for Best Episode of The Series in this one as this was a perfect episode from start to finish. Only two minor flaws (a minor logic break and one animation mistake) were present and they were instantly overcome by the awesomeness of the episode. The writers wrote this episode like a classic TaleSpin episode: Almost no logic breaks; excellent animation; writing that makes perfect sense in the context of the episode; physical comedy was on; the promos were excellent and they wrote a proper finish and the loose ends were tied up. Not to mention that the two pathos scenes in this episode were actually convincing for a change and Drake showed a side of him that I never saw before. Even NegaDuck was enjoyable and I believe now that bad episode writing; not his character was the cause for NegaDuck sucking. However; as much praise as this episode deserves, it almost exposes this series in another sense. That the show cannot get over as an adventure/comedy series because it has been done before and better with TaleSpin adding real pathos just to be even more nasty and the writers are too lazy to get past the Cartoon Duck Syndrome.
The Secret Origins of DARKWING...DUCK is the ultimate example of this: Great episode; but it exposes the show that it cannot make sense without reality bending so that the logic breaks are nullified by proxy. While Darkwing Duck can get away with this stuff; it sadly creates bad habits which really showed up in Goof Troop later on and then Bonkers The Lucky Era on top of that. If it wasn't for Aladdin The Animated Series and Tad Stones returning along with Greg Weissman creating the drama series Gargoyles then it wouldn't be until Kim Possible before we saw a really good series and by then it might have been too late and DTVA would be dead. Just think about it and despair. Overall; a really perfect episode otherwise; but I fear for the worst from now on until Time & Punishment actually.
Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.
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