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Controlling Children's Brains One Episode at a Time...
Yeah; I took a swipe at them. At least I'm calling out the cause for Cartoon Duck Syndrome for what it is which was foisted on the world. Heck; at least Ducktales was balanced and had some pretty good continuity in the animation and story lines. At least I'm bashing this instead of asking for bans and lawsuits because I'm not a hypocritical fool when it comes to Freedom of Speech. Remember that next time when you cry about your favorite industry being disrupted because some smart multinational company found a way to get the public to watch television or play video games again and it's not fantasy or high art (as if entertainment mediums were really art to begin with?): Give a group power and they will use it to oppress the other no matter how much they care about freedom. Okay; enough of the bashing; let's move on to this episode featuring Launchpad as the lead character and the voice of John Stephenson (War of the Weirds from TaleSpin) returning to play heel as usual. Let's rant on shall we...
The episode is written by Kevin Campbell and Brian Swenlin (for the third straight episode no less). The story is edited by Duane Capizzi. This one is done by WD-OZ which is basically the first episode done by the best studio DTVA had at that point since the end of the first volume.
We begin this one in the Swiss Alps as Drake is blowing off Launchpad for a liberal use of silliness; apparently. Wow; this is like the first episode to not use the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM. We head inside the TECH TENT OF DEATH. Drake is blowing off LP because he's supposed to be doing something about returning a video to the Video King Store. I have lost track of what is happening in this scene; because I don't get how you can add all that technology inside that little tent. SHUSH tent is NOT on our way home says Drake. I still don't get the point of this as Gander appears and accepts the package from Launchpad remembering to call him Lawn chair. Launchpad corrects him as Gander opens the package while looking for something that won't allow him to drown in paperwork without it which is the stapler. Drake is SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order) because they flew halfway around the world to give him a FREAKIN STAPLER?! Gander gleefully ignores Drake's swearing under his breath as Gander stops him from leaving because he wants to introduce them to the head of research who just happens to be playing with her machines like a bunch of toys played by a child.
It's Sarah Bellum of course who I introduced in the last rant. For some strange reason; I think I saw her BEFORE like back in the ParaDucks episode. And they are introducing her as if they NEVER met before?! Then again; chronological order isn't important in a DTVA cartoon until Gargoyles came along. Drake wants to leave this place; but Launchpad prevents that by continuing the conversation. Drake taps his foot which looks so bad it's funny by WD-OZ as Gander explains that she is perfecting the NORMA RAY OF DOOM. So there is our plot device of the episode as Sarah explains that it creates Norma particles which gives people physic powers. Drake doesn't care because he wants to leave this God forsaken place to return his video to Video King apparently. Drake blows it off as Gander blows his off (YAY!) because this research is vital to their cause. Why not invent a Quality Ray so you can be zapped with it and magically not suck? And of course; Drake revives the annoying Gruffi pose just to annoy me. Launchpad wonder why they would invent a ray; Sarah responds by saying that if FOWL invents one first; they are dead meat (her word, not mine; first death reference of the episode). I'm sure everyone laughed at the amount of meat references in Outlaw Star before realizing that it didn't fool anyone that they really mean dead meat.
Gander then sets up the battle between SHUSH VS. FOWL storyline which I didn't care about when I was young and certainly don't care about it now. As Gander explains; we head to the abandoned factory (because you are not a cartoon villain without at least one of them.) as we cut to inside as General Synapse is exchanging notes with the television which is usually the signal for the High Command to show up. I don't believe we EVER saw them outside of the black shadows (other in fanfics maybe) in this series since I think they were referencing Doctor Claw for this. Synapse hates the new troops as he does the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH on the pan shot as we see a bunch of hippies blindfolded trying to guess what is on the table. I guess these are the new auditions for the Goof Troop series and this is their debut. Oh come on! You knew that one was coming a mile away; didn't ya?! Oh; and this is too funny by the way. Synapse blows off High Command because troops kill things (death reference #2 and maybe one of the most direct references to kill I have ever seen). Does that make them Sustainer gamers too? After all; video gamers love games where they get to kill on-screen characters and then they are SHOCKED when nobody else takes them seriously?! High Command blows off Synapse for the volcano incident and Synapse goes into sweat mode. However; he is back to his old nasty heelish ways.
Synapse is voiced by John Stephenson in case you didn't notice and is a dog furry in uniform in case you didn't notice either. High Command tells him to get results and they will reconsider returning him to his post calling him Major so he has been dropped a peg. High Command signs off and Synapse goes over to the blindfolded hippies who still cannot get anything right. Oh; and for the second time in this series; I see a legit Christan Cross which the male hippie is wearing around his neck in a necklace. Synapse bangs on the table moaning that the results are so bad that they wouldn't work at birthday parties. Female hippie grabs onto Synapse's arm and calls him a tub of lard...and judging by the fat on his arm; that is real BRUTHA! Synapse is ticked off and the urge to kill a hippie is rising. Sadly; the scene changer prevents THAT from happening as we return to SHUSH's tent as Drake is bored to sleep in front of Launchpad. Hey; it's a childrens' cartoon; what did you expect?! Sarah proclaims that she needs a brave volunteer who is loyal to SHUSH and not covered by the medical plan as Drake wants to leave because he want NOTHING..AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING to do with this MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN. Wow; did Drake really grow a brain, or is he just full of himself as usual?! I'll take the latter.
Before Drake can leave and end this episode short; Launchpad bowls Drake over in a decent bump and agrees to be the volunteer. Launchpad sits in the red chair (oh how passe?!) as Gander calls him Stamp Pad. Launchpad doesn't sell that one though as Sarah tells him to display little cerebral activity during the process which Launchpad doesn't understand of course. Sarah tells him not to think and Launchpad gets that easily. Considering Launchpad; this experiment should be easy. If it was Drake; this experiment would NEVER work because he thinks of full of himself promo every single time. We cut back to the abandonded as the hippies (who have not been MURDERED by Synapse yet which shows that he is a complete pussy.) are sitting down in front of the ANVIL OF NEIDHART while doing their meditation. They have the frying brain helmets on just to look like even bigger tools then they already are. Synapse is at the WHITE MACHINE OF FRYING DOOM as he uses it and barks out for more brain activity and then threatens them with the most painful assignment known to him because he HATES doing it.
The hippies panic (with some decent selling to boot) as the machine is HAPPY for all that brain wave power I guess. The hippies continue to sell decently; but Synapse realizes that it is not working because the brainwaves are coming from somewhere else. We cut back to SHUSH as we see the orange shock wave hitting Launchpad despite not seeing him in the front of the chair (the view was at the back of the chair). I betcha this was a BS&P decision as Drake blows Launchpad off because he doesn't look different. Sarah then decides that she's going to cut his head open and remove his brain which everyone else gasps in horror. Sarah responds by claiming that it is mad science humor while selling it badly. Sarah, Gander and Launchpad walk towards the TABLE OF PSYCHOS as Sarah explains that they will do some major league tests on the psychic matter LP has. Drake is not amused by all this because HE WANTS TO GO HOME NOW. Quite frankly; I don't blame him. This is SHUSH we are talking about here.
Launchpad sits down on the table which has a blue balloon in front of him. Sarah asks him to lift the balloon ans Launchpad lifts it with his hands of course. Sarah blows it off and the blue balloon is put down. He has to move it with his mind see. Launchpad grunts like a maniac and doesn't move the balloon an inch; but manages to move the trees from their roots. Sarah tells him to stop despite the fact that they are oblivious to the whole thing. Launchpad stops and the trees return to their original positions. Drake blows that experiment off of course as Sarah brings out the lighted match. I betcha Toon Disney cuts this out as Launchpad tries to grab it with his hands and of course Sarah blows him off since he's supposed to be doing it with his mind. Launchpad does the headache grunt and basically ignites the whole forest on fire despite not lighting the match...and despite all this; the SHUSH IDIOTS do not suspect a thing.
We have a FREAKIN FOREST FIRE going on and THEY DIDN'T NOTICED?! Did Sarah and Gander drink Ammonia Pine's bathwater before starting this episode? You know how I disapprove of ANYONE drinking Ammonia Pine's bathwater? Sarah cannot explain this. I can: LOOK BEHIND YOU BITCH! Sarah brings out the black box and Launchpad grabs it to open it and Sarah finally starts acting like a bitch. Now she's fitting for my wrath yes siree! Launchpad guesses that it is a big red fire engine and of course he is wrong because it is a piece of cake. Nice CONINUITY from the animators to keep the fire going on behind them. Launchpad calls this a piece of cake about five seconds too late. Sarah sobs that she's a failure acting like a diva all of a sudden. Oh man; did she talk to Sunni before this episode? Gander and Sarah leave while Sarah is sobbing. Of course the fire engine shows up OUT OF NOWHERE and it of course goes in the exact same place. Much like most of this series...
(Finally; a new paragraph)....We head to the dresser as Launchpad has a splitting headache doing these tests while Drake stands there with a smile that reads: I TOLD YOU SO. You are not THE MIRACLE WORKER Drake; get over it. Launchpad wants to leave as he does some weird pulling selling. Drake proclaims that Launchpad read his mind because THAT'S ALL HE WANTED TO DO! Now I would think that Sarah Bellum would appear and declare that this was a success but instead we really do head back to Drake's house. And of course we get the chair flipping sequence in reverse to have Drake return to his normal clothes. Funny how that works since his hideout is ON A BRIDGE. And why did it take SO LONG FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT?! Maybe I'm coming down with Cartoon Duck Syndrome too. I need some TaleSpin now....(Four Hours Later). Okay; I'm over it; let's continue on. Launchpad's head bounces a bit more as Drake jumps onto his blue sofa as he reads the movie title. This sounds like something Gosalyn would like.
However; Drake tries to blow it off because it's one of the classic and we all know Drake's movie tastes are like BLAH! Launchpad grabs the lamp away because he doesn't want to see another innocent ceramic shatter. WHAT ABOUT THOSE VASES YOU BASTARD?! And of course HERE COMES GOSALYN as she jumps right onto Drake's belly and grabs the tape. Nice bumping and selling from Drake on that spot. And of course; Gosalyn doesn't like it because the colorized version of her movie was only available. If this is a rib on those people who like to see only black & white movies and that color versions suck; color me unimpressed. Gosalyn and Drake jump off the coffee table as Launchpad puts the lamp back on it. Now Drake is mad because apparently; Launchpad had this all planned as Launchpad tells Gosalyn that the telephone is for her about ten seconds BEFORE it rings. Gosalyn runs to the telephone and answers it and she is surprised because it really is for her. And now Drake is pissed off because Launchpad is literally growing a brain. Launchpad now believes that he really did get psychic powers and Drake scoffs at that suggestion. And of course for no reason because it PROVES Launchpad has psychic powers; the glass of juice (complete with strawberry juice mind you) floats OUT OF NOWHERE and lands in Launchpad hand. Okay; now he's officially showing off.
Drake wants answers to this and Launchpad proclaims that he got it from the fridge in which Drake looks like he is peeved. And of course; the wall breaks off-screen and here comes the fridge as Drake cannot believe this. He looks for wires which renders the fridge to drop square on his webfoot. HAHA! The classics NEVER go out of style. Drake tries to pull his flat foot out of the fridge; but no dice. Gosalyn sees the break the wall made and it looks shorter for some reason. Gosalyn is amazed of this and even more so when it starts to snow INSIDE THE FREAKIN HOUSE! Okay; this is overkill now...but funny overkill so I'll let it slide. Drake finally gets his ultra crushed web foot off the fridge and of course it snows about six inches before he succeeds. Too funny and even funnier sell from the web foot. Drake calls this amazing and loves this because this will make Drake invincible. He recalls the amazing possibilities and he demonstrates that he is thinking WAY TOO SMALL here.
Drake of course decides to at least give Launchpad some credit in a good CONINUITY move from Water Way To Go and declares that it will be their little secret between Drake, Launchpad and Gosalyn (although Drake doesn't mention her; but she has already seen it so it's pointless). Launchpad agrees as long as the Muddlefoots get to see it. Drake doesn't like that idea; but in reality Launchpad was merely telling Drake that their cover will be blown anyway because the front door opens and here comes Binky and Herb to greet them. Drake doesn't like this and neither does Gosalyn apparently. Herb then blows off Drake's air conditioning as Drake slaps his head in such a funny way that I swear that he nearly wipes off his entire face in the process. Too funny.
We head outside at the Muddlefoot's picnic as the Muddlefoot prepare their picnics and somehow don't screw it up. Herb is attending to the burgers with Tank while Binky is attending to the drink. Honker isn't around apparently for some odd reason. Geez; I hate it when that happens after the Kit incident with Feminine Air and Balooest of The Bluebloods; right Ted?! Anyhow; we cut to the chairs and umbrella table as Gosalyn and Launchpad exchange notes about Launchpad's new found powers. Gosalyn wonders what else LP can do and here comes Drake with his butt on fire. HEROIC HICK ON FIRE! I just had to get that one in for old times sake. Drake butt bounces on the wet lawn to put it out as Launchpad apologizes for setting his butt on fire in the first place. See; it only happens when he thinks. Now you know why Launchpad NEVER thinks? Although if he keeps screwing Drake like this; I would reconsider that notion.
Launchpad decides to wait for the burger and of course one of the burger makes itself into a sandwich much to the shock of Drake Mallard. Just a note: This whole gimmick is a huge logic break in itself for obvious reasons but since Launchpad has these powers; the logic break is nullified for this episode only. We cut to the BBQ as Herb proclaims that the secret to a great BBQ is the proper use of tools. THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING ABOUT WII ALL THIS TIME! AND NO ONE LISTENS TO ME! BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO BUSY PISSING OFF LAWYERS AND MORALISTS WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO IN THEIR SAD, HORRIBLE LITTLE LIVES! Whew; let's move on shall we...The burgers fly off the BBQ of course which surprises Herb a bit. DA DA DA DA DA DUH! PSYCHIC POWER! Eat your heart out Scrappy Doo; I just buried your only good gimmick you EVER had.
Drake accepts some punch in a glass from Binky and of course the punch gets drunk and leaves. HA! I MADE A FUNNIE! Even LP and Gosalyn cannot keep their punch as Binky pours some more punch into Drake's glass. WD-OZ screwed up a bit here since the punch doesn't exist in the glass during the pouring process and then it shows up again. That's the first screwed up spot from them almost nine minutes in. And of course that punch goes on strike and floats away. Finally; Honker arrives and sits down with the GANG OF GAG on a lawn chair. And of course; Honker floats into the air in a really good visual from the bottom camera angle. Launchpad grabs onto his head and shouts I'm not thinking again and again. Drake blows him off because he should have stayed in the house and of course; the Muddlefoots house breaks from it's foundation and floats into the air. Chaos is the order of the day as Gosalyn chases Honker and Herb chases the burgers (I think) while Binky looks around the mini kitchen to find the mustard. I betcha the mustard is floating around while Binky doesn't suspect a thing. I check the DVD..Close enough; it's in the house as Herb wants to get it. However; Drake stops him and decides to be a good neighbor (codeword: Doesn't want him to sue.) and climbs into the front door and walks into the Muddlefoot's house.
Drake blows off Sarah's Brain Ray as he makes it to the fridge and opens it. He grabs the mustard and WD-OZ screws it up by making the mustard disappear. OH TAG WD-OZ! Drake walks to the door and of course the fridge slides and squashes Drake against the door flatter than a pancake. Sadly; WD-OZ screws up the glass breaking spot; although in all fairness; this was probably a BS&P decision too. Then magically; the mustard jar shows up and Herb takes it from Drake as Drake is all right. And while I'm thinking about it; logic break #1 is also there because the door should have break too. We cut to the lawn chairs as Binky is pouring ice into Launchpad's drink and of course the BBQ freezes up. I don't care if this doesn't make any sense since PYSCHIC POWERS RULEZ BABEE! Gosalyn and Honker are still doing their chase as this episode is doing pretty well thus far. Now Herb cannot BBQ his burgers as Drake panics and goes over to Herb who apparently blew off Tank for stealing the burger judging by Tank's first line spoken in this one. Herb finds some more burgers and Drake steals the tray because he wants to BBQ them now. Herb is shocked to think that Drake was a cooking man. UH OH! I think you know what is going to happen next as Launchpad thinks about fixing this problem.
And of course Drake attends to the cold burgers and of course the entire BBQ shoots flame right into Tank and Drake's kisser. YESSSS! Drake sells it like he is blowing smoke (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR MOVIE RATING!). Tank calls Drake (and probably Honker too judging by the hang time Honker is getting while floating in the background.) a jerk. BWHAHAHAHA! That's like having Microsoft come out and telling you how to run a business properly. Launchpad and Drake bail on this chaotic situation to get some weenies which is silly considering that Drake himself is a big weenie so to speak. Drake blows off Launchpad for his super power because he cannot fly a plane and then the HOUSE OF FLOATING HELL finally falls down with a thud and somehow Herb managed to built it so it wouldn't take ANY damage whatsoever. Someone should contact Herb and ask him about his contractors. We now head to Drake's House and to the flipping chairs (much better!) as they sit on the chairs and Drake declares that they need to return to SHUSH Labs before he blasts Drake off the face of the earth. I was hoping for Launchpad to do a heel turn here; but it isn't going to happen as LP's head turns into the size of an egg after he declares that someone is stealing the Norma Ray. Now; if Launchpad is so good at predicting stuff; why not STOP THE THEFT FROM HAPPENING?! Answer: Because then he would be wrong of course.
We head back to SHUSH Labs as Sarah is trying the NORMA RAY OF DOOM on a small animal and tells the animal not to think. She zaps the animal with the ray and it kills him right on-screen with a huge popping sound but not before he grows the same head Launchpad does. I think that will become important for later. Sarah blows him off for thinking during the zapping. During that scene we see Major Synapse and his hippie freaks staring behind a window with the remote control to indicate that this is the weapon they should be stealing. Boy; these army figures don't get any respect in this world. In TaleSpin; only the insane Colonel Grogg was a disgrace to the military world. And at least he had insanity as an excuse. Sarah take off her goggles (cannot forget to mention those) and declares that she needs more human subjects. And of course in comes Major Synapse and his hippie freaks. I sense Logic Break #2 here because they are either dogs or dogs people.
Dogspeople do not qualify as humans. If Sarah had said more anthronoids or people for her subjects then he would be dead on. Sarah of course greets them because she is drunken with the REALLY STUPID liquid Drake Mallard drinks every episode. I knew that Christmas Party from Planet of The Capes was just Drake Mallard's way of screwing people. I guess Vlad was right about Drake after all. Synapse calls for the hippies to be blasted and Sarah hushes them onto the red chair and reminds them not to think because then they will die by heads exploding. The hippies run out of the chair to get away; but Synapse orders them back because latrine duty is somehow more deadly then having your head explode I guess. The hippies stammer and return to the chairs like little rabbits as Major Synapse finally blows his cover revealing themselves as FOWL agents. Sarah gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CHAIRTY and goes after Major Synapse; but Synapse shoves her aside as he turns on the NORMA RAY OF DEATH as the hapless hippies sell like they are on drugs...because if you were ON DRUGS Drake Mallard sounds a lot better.
Sarah gets on Major Synapse's back and MURDERS him with the clipboard. Man; that is one tough clipboard! Sadly; it does nothing..AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING as the hippies get up and say Groovy as they are ready to MURDER her. I approve of this as we cut outside with the Thunder Quack and it crashes into the snow with a MAN-SIZED bump off-screen of course. I see LP's flying hasn't changed a bit since the zapping. Drake pops out and of course he finally cuts his first full of himself promo nearly 12 minutes in. He then calls for Launchpad and of course Launchpad is looking in the mirror of himself because he thinks he's going bald. I guess that is one of the side effects: Cutting ego trip promos about your age. Launchpad's head grows again and Launchpad feels more pain as the segment ends right there 12 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we cut to a shot of Drake looking at Launchpad as he complains about his swelled up head. He is nearing Bob “Big Head” Mackenzie in levels of a big ass head. Now let's see if that damn head will topple over and then I can show that the Royal Canadian Air Farce stole the whole gimmick from THIS SHOW! Drake blows it off nicely and takes heart with Launchpad because it's time to beat up some crooks. Oooookkkkaaayyy Drake as Launchpad decides to sell which allows the FRIDGE OF DOOM to miss Drake by about three feet. Okay; that was pretty cute as Drake blows off Launchpad again. Launchpad is sorry for taking orders from me to have Drake squashed by the fridge; or maybe not. Drake then changes his mind and allows Launchpad to stay while he gets the element of surprise. When is he going to learn that he cannot have the element of surprise while he is still cutting full of himself promos?! My head hurts as much as Launchpad's just thinking about it. Drake climbs up the snowy mountain and WD-OZ does the worst shadow animation this side of Rocket Robin Hood. Drake enters the chateau from the back door...So that's where SHUSH was staying? I thought it was a tent. Man; the writers have got to do a better job at making it more clear what is what. He of course cuts his dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM promo at 12:25:
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the whoa...!
We get the shot of seeing Sarah strapped to the chair (despite their being no evidence of her being strapped to it) while the hippies use PYSCHIC POWER to float Drake into the air and where he lands he better be dead. He then takes a really silly bump into the wall (it sounded like cardboard there guys; despite it being a brick WALL?!) and Drake takes a really wussy bump onto his face on the snow. He then finishes the promo at 12:32:
Darkwing: ...mis-shapened blotch that stains your walls.
Too funny there as I should note to Jim Cummings that mis-shapened is NOT a word. Misshaped is the proper word. Now come on; you don't want people misspelling words; heaven forbid if Detective Thursday shows up here. The hippies come to the wall; and they look like misfits now. Wow; so much for peace and harmony as Drake shrugs his shoulders because his element of surprise has been blown. I told him that his full of himself promos would come back and bite him on the butt; but NOOOOO; he was kissing Michael Eisner's rear end while I was telling him so. So now the hippies are wearing gay superhero outfits now?! No wonder Synapse got busted down to major after all this. The Male hippie comes out and is called Hotshot. I'm sure the Transformers are whining about their childhood being raped like so many people are when they showed the Alvin & The Chipmunks movie despite most of them only seeing the Ruby-Spears version. And of course I get pissed off every time uses rape as an excuse for hating company decisions because it's downright vile and disgusting to females who actually HAVE BEEN RAPED by vile and disgusting males. Yeah; I promised not to bash; but Drake does that to me. Maybe I need another dose of TaleSpin...(Three Hours Later)...
Okay; I'm back as Hotshot uses the FLAME TOUCH OF DOOM and sets an innocent tree on fire. That logically prompts Sarah to sneak up from behind and whack him with the clipboard while blowing him off for starting a forest fire. AND SHE'S JUST NOTICING THIS NOW?! HEE HEE; I had to spit out my drink seeing that. That's the first funny thing Sarah has done in like four episodes. So Hotshot basically contradicts himself by involving the freeze ray to freeze her beak shot. Ooooo..that's getting a little too close to being violence on women. Considering that this episode aired about a few years after the vile La Polytechnic female slaughter in 1989 (which lead to the now historic 12 Days of Christmas campaign on snuffing out Violence Against Women); and that human beings were not as thick-skinned as we are now, that wasn't the best of ideas there. And of course; it's an obvious logic break since he's supposed to be the flame man.
Then again; it's a hippie we are talking about...and then he creates an ice slope and somehow brings out the bobsled complete with helmet as he stuffs Sarah in it and puts on a helmet. Oh; how nice of him to be concerned about her safety despite the fact that he's basically ASSAULTING HER! And if you think it's contrived to have stuff underneath a wrestling ring during a hardcore wrestling; then you have NEVER watched this show. Hotshot pushes the bobsled down and it's all for Sarah Bellum for this episode I bet. And people wonder why cartoon NEVER get respect. The female hippie (the one who wears sandals I should note) is in pink and purple just to make the female stereotype even more obvious.
I'm almost glad Raven from Teen Titans turned out the way she did to be honest with you as she calls herself Flygirl. And of course she floats a giant snowball into the air and if she thinks it landing on Drake would get her over then she deserved to be slapped in the face for her misdeeds. And of course we get the old Warner Brothers Promo of Drake looking up before the snowball falls on him and it's so hard that it basically squashes Drake. Okay; Flygirl doesn't deserve to get slapped after all...or maybe she does because it STILL doesn't stop Drake from cutting a full of himself promo as he pushes the snowball away and hopefully it will roll down the ice slope and squash Sarah Bellum. Hey if that doesn't snap her out of Cartoon Duck Syndrome than Drake is truly Satan. Thankfully; a white cow is right above Drake and he gets squashed by it instead just after Drake fixes his innocent gay Zorro hat. The cow runs away because of two things: Drake trying to cut another full of himself promo and of course because Drake then gets squashed by a Fat Swiss Yodeler. Okay; we finally got most of the Swiss stereotypes out of the way, except for the Swiss Cheese Zorro Cape of course. Synapse is very HAPPY with this and he orders Hotshot to burn Drake to ashes.
Okay; he didn't say that but his mere presence already told you that in advance didn't it. Hotshot sells and he does the FLAME TRAIL OF DOOM as Drake digs a bigger hole in the snow and of course he smells his own butt burning. I guess the trail went underground because it didn't make any sense to me. Bad form there guys as Drake pops out of the snow hole and flies over Launchpad as Launchpad does a good job of guiding Drake to above a hill and Drake takes a MAN-SIZED bump (in the snow?) onto the top of the hill. Launchpad turns around and sees Synapse and the two SUPER HIPPIES try to go for the kill. Launchpad blows them off literally with the MIND CONTROL WIND TORNADO OF DOOM. Because that is what this episode needs: More windbags..and it's even more amazing because it's LAUNCHPAD doing it. The move works as they fly away and take a MAN-SIZED bump into the brick wall. Nice to see the heels get a proper bump while Drake gets a wussy one. Drake comes over to Launchpad and thanks him for delivering that spot. Of course Launchpad nearly cleans up the snow faster than any snow plow could. The SUPER HIPPIES OF DOOM recover and Drake tells LP to hit them with something bigger and LP calls for the log cabin which sadly LP's precision is still way off as it lands right onto Drake and LP with a MAN-SIZED bump of course. Curses! Foiled again by the power of Launchpad's precision.
The heels love that mistake as Drake comes out of the door; cuts a lame yodeling promo and then takes a wussy bump on the ground with his beak. Somethings will never change with his show. Synapse is happy because he gets to get off death reference #3 and beat DARKWING..DUCK. Synapse asks them what this means and the SUPER HIPPIES answer that he likes their aura. Synapse accepts that answer and tells them to file out. Synapse and the SUPPER HIPPIES march down the path with Drake in tow with the float . They do the march down the cleared pathway as Launchpad struggles to get his leg out of the house and then complains about the house killing his back. So he basically destroys the house with DUH DUH DUH DUH DA! PSYCHIC POWER! The house parts fly away in all directions as LP sits up and rubs his damn big head. Launchpad looks for him; but there is no dice as apparently Sarah's pet who was zapped before has got his back back while floating for another logic break. Launchpad sobs because his big head cost him a victory over the forces of evil. Maybe so; but at did give me a lot of laughs so it worked out for the better at least.
We head back to Drake's hideout on the scene changer as Sarah's pet is still floating with LP while eating a chocolate bar. Gosalyn and LP continue to pace around as LP still feels sorry for himself. And of course thanks to his thinking; LP overturns the Thunder Quack; basically damaging it. Gosalyn whines on that spot; but then notices the black wallet floating with Sarah's pet as she climbs the wall and grabs it. She opens the wallet and it's the ID card for Major Synapse; including his address. Launchpad loves it and use it on his head to figure out what the address is and Gosalyn grabs it and blows him off because the address is ALREADY printed on it. Okay; that was pretty funny. However; Gosalyn and Launchpad realize that the Thunder Quack is damaged. Huh?! Isn't Launchpad supposed to be the mechanic of this outfit?! Man; the writers are REALLY forgetting about character here to make that mistake. Must be...say it with me..Cartoon Duck Syndrome. Thankfully; Launchpad floats up into the air (man; his brain must suck if he is able to do that without any control whatsoever) and goes through the window.
This of course logically leads to the street mob clearing sequence as everyone runs for cover because Bob “BIG HEAD” Mackenzie is floating. Oh wait; it's Launch “Big Head” Pad doing it; my mistake. Gosalyn is doing the cloud surfing routine on wheels with the roller skates which should end any debate on who Gosalyn's favorite character is; and it should show that television doesn't influence people either. Otherwise; Gosalyn would be a saint now. Gosalyn tells Launchpad to take the paper bag off his head and LP refuses because he wants no one to see his big head. Gosalyn blows that off nicely during the surfing sequence which is pretty good for the most part; although the backgrounds look like cardboard in some places. Launchpad gets the truth and takes the paperbag off and puts on the goggles over his eyes. They race to their destination which is the abandoned factory.....
We head inside as Major Synapse is relaxing on his stolen lawn chair under the table umbrella enjoying a cocktail as his SUPER HIPPIES OF DOOM stand to attention. The television is on the table as Synapse calls High Commands to inform that Drake is on ice. And we cut to the back wall to see that Drake Mallard is on ice. Sadly; they forgot to freeze him above the neck so he cannot do any more full of himself promos. I guess BS&P falls under Drake's contract rules after all. No wonder television started sucking afterward. Drake performs the worst raspberry I have ever seen (no thanks to the anime style animation of it from WD-OZ). High Command isn't happy with that so they order Synapse to MURDER him more or less. This should be fun as Major Synapse calls for the..wait for it...DUCK SMASHER OF DEATH and of course it's a ROIDED GIANT STEEL ANVIL OF NEIDHART which Flygirl gets the honor of using her mind to MURDER Drake with it. Drake looks at it and calls it the second biggest duck smasher he has ever seen. And I shudder to think; what was the biggest as Synapse looks evil as we get some weird shot editing in this sequence which serves no purpose as we get the scene changer and the Launchpad floating; Gosalyn cloud surfing sequence.
Well; as close as Gosalyn can surf which she's on solid ground. I guess this is a token sequence for the TaleSpin fans out there despite Tad's clear taste for ribs on the series. Launchpad stops in mid flight as he is getting a vision which allows Gosalyn to invoke a really nasty bump from behind Launchpad's back and they fly into the trash in the alleyway with a pretty good off-screen bump. At least the bumping has been good in this episode as Gosalyn looks at Launchpad's big head and sees the ANVIL OF NEIDHART and calls it a mental video. And it shows Drake Mallard getting squashed by the GIANT ANVIL OF NEIDHARTS as Gosalyn gasps...badly..in horror. She screams that they are going to MURDER him more or less as we get a really weird sequence of General Synapse and the Super Hippies turning into demon ghosts (HUH?! I don't get this.) as Gosalyn gasps in horror to end the segment 17 minutes in. Wow; did the writers sniff glue before doing that last one. I can understand doing the squashing sequence (since it WON'T HAPPEN in reality anyway); but THE HEELS?!
After the commercial break; we head back inside as Flygirl is complaining as she wants to squash Drake now because her head is hurting and of course Synapse casually tells her to wait. Too funny as Flygirl calls it a drag. Major Synapse then tells High Command that he want a few changes to be made. He basically wants a promotion, parking space for his tank and other perks as High Command (who is female here) just tells him to MURDER DARKWING..DUCK. Isn't that too hard to ask?! We head topside as we see Launchpad and Gosalyn on top of the abandoned factory (complete with glass roof window of course because nearly very FOWL hideout has had at least one). Why this looks like something I saw in Dirty Money?! RECYCLING SCENES RULEZ BABEE! Gosalyn asks for the MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN and Launchpad claims that they get attacked. Gosalyn blows off that suggest and then Hotshot blows the glass window open with the flamethrower. Wow; that was pretty weak; as it only blew Gosalyn away instead of frying her. Another BS&P decision I guess. Hotshot goes to work with the fireball and Gosalyn falls through the window and on to the GIANT ROIDED ANVIL OF NEIDHARTS. Flygirl grunts like a maniac as Gosalyn looks down and it's a big drop right on Drake's full of himself Mallard head. Flygirl still complains about Synapse's lack of ordering as he's still issuing demands.
Synapse's heat is flying out that glass window as we speak. He is THAT dumb. We cut to Hotshot throwing fireballs as Launchpad dodges all except for one which lands on his head and that would be the first legit third degree burn in this series. Well; the cartoon logic was thrown out a long time ago; so why even try to blow it off?! Launchpad tries to fight back; but shoots ice cubes from his palms as Hotshot melts them easily. You know you are screwed when THAT happens. Hotshot blows off Launchpad because apparently operating a snow cone machine is more for LP's speed. Launchpad blows that suggestion off because he can see into the future and Hotshot is going to smack his head on something. Hotshot laughs that off as he floats into the air and takes a really good bump into the lamp post shining on the sexy billboard. Or maybe not quite sexy..Okay; not sexy at all. Let's move on shall we..Pay no attention to the content seeker behind the curtain. Launchpad tells him that he's going to be doing some traveling and of course Hotshot flies off the face of the earth and of course since fuzzy cartoon logic applies; his head doesn't explode and he doesn't die (at least not yet). I'm personally glad Bart and Homer blew off that logic break when they broke out the rocket that was going into the sun.
Launchpad goes over to the glass window as Gosalyn calls for him and Launchpad proclaims that he's coming down and of course gravity haunts the outer regions of QUACKERIA as Hotshot falls down and takes a wussy bump into Launchpad and they all land with a wussy bump onto the ROIDED GIANT ANVIL OF NEIDHARTS. Flygirl can take no more as she has a brain sprain. Hey someone finally violated ANIME DUB CONDUCT RULE #12 (Thou Shalt Not Rhyme; because it's COOL! ) in the five episodes that I have been ranted on since my condemnation of Drake Mallard. We then get the old Pirate Swinging Midway Spot (you know which one) and since it was nice; we get a cut into Flygirl and then we REPEAT THE EXACT SAME SPOT! UGH! It's one thing to recycle backgrounds; but recycle an entire SCENE?! The ANVIL OF NEIDHARTS crashed into the wall with a decent bump as everyone falls down to the ground with a wussy bump. Major Synapse finally awaken from his greedy slumber as High Command wants answers to this. Synapse denies that anything is going wrong. Like all good heels; always. Even if you are talking to another heel. Flygirl still wants to drop that ANVIL OF NEIDHARTS as Hotshot doesn't want her to want because it's under him as he tries to scatter like a scalded dog complete with Hanna Barbera looping and running sound effect. If Sun Woo was around; you would know that this would be a classic.
But since this is WD-OZ; it's pretty lame and beneath them to do such a thing. He manages to run away as Gosalyn goes over to Drake as Drake wonders why she is here and Gosalyn responds by saying that she hates crushed ice. Drake praises her as Gosalyn slides Drake AWAY from the metal holder and Drake goes sailing as Drake does his best over the top goofy face selling. Drake slides onto his ice belly and then it's the old bump into Launchpad as it's ICE RIDING TIME BABEE! WD-OZ's animation is getting a little bad here as Hotshot tries the fireball; but Launchpad uses PSYCHIC POWER to allow Drake and LP to jump over it. Drake praises LP for the save. However; they head straight for the ANVIL OF NEIDHARTS! LP uses his brain (YEAH RIGHT?!) and that manages to stop them in mid-air; so they drop down as if gravity returned to the scene. No bump is in sight as we cut to Synapse stammering and denying like crazy. And naturally; Synapse gets SQUASHED by the ice block with a MAN-SIZED bump of course. Call me crazy; but the ANVIL OF NEIDHARTS should have been nowhere NEAR Synapse to allow Drake and Launchpad to nail him. I cannot accept that logic break; no matter what.
The ice block is turned into cubes of course and Synapse's place is also destroyed to boot. Drake and Launchpad jump out and they grab Gosalyn so they can get out of the building. Gosalyn blows off that because she never has any fun. Can you guess the next bump here; or do I have to spell it out for you?! The GANG OF GAG run right in perfect position to get squashed by the ANVIL OF NEIDHARTS because we need a contrived spot for the fifth straight episode to make Drake look REALLY STUPID because Drake has gone like nineteen and a half minutes without doing that. Hotshot tells Flygirl to drop the anvil and Flygirl is HAPPY to do so as it drops on our babyfaces. I suspect that since Gosalyn is UNDERNEATH the thing; Launchpad will use PSYCHIC POWERS~ to save themselves. I check the DVD...Damn; I'm good. Launchpad struggles and pushes the anvil away which of course basically MURDERS the SUPER HIPPIES dead with a MAN-SIZED bump. Nice panic selling from them as usual. The dust clears and the SUPER HIPPIES pull themselves away from the carnage flatter than Alexander the Grape. Nyuk, Nyuk! Drake declares victory over Major Synapse as Launchpad wants to return to SHUSH so he can deflate his big head. However; Drake of course wants to use his head for purposes of solving evil so he praises Launchpad's work.
Launchpad blows it off because he wants to be normal again and Drake then goes into EGO TRIP MODE because he wants to use Launchpad as a tool. Launchpad then uses the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH to blow that one off; making sure it nails Drake's beak so he gets the point so to speak. Drake accepts defeat and goes over to the NORMA RAY OF DEATH. HUH?! It was in the place the WHOLE TIME?! And somehow didn't get damaged?! Gosalyn tells Drake that she doesn't see the reverse switch on there and Drake grabs the reserve switch and blows off Sarah Bellum's handiwork of course. That allows Major Synapse to grab the NORMA RAY OF DEATH and blow off our babyfaces. Major Synapse goes to the metal holder and declares that he will defeat Drake by getting....DUH DUH DUH DUH DA! PSYCHIC POWERS! Launchpad reminds him not to think which allows the babyfaces to blow him off. Synapse thanks him for the advise and of course zaps himself. Sadly; since Synapse is always thinking; that basically leads to the obvious finish: His brain expands way too much and his head explodes off-screen of course. Synapse's body is gone as the NORMA RAY OF DOOM falls to the ground on screen and Gosalyn thinks he's dead. However; Major Synapse's dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM beckons and we see Synapse's head complete with the BIGGEST BRAIN IN THE HISTORY OF QUACKERIA! Doesn't ANY writer know the meaning of FINISHING an episode properly without overkill?! That's five episodes straight now.
Synapse declares to have got the ultimate psychic power and Gosalyn calls him gross. I humbly agree. Drake goes for the gas gun and basically tells him to suck nerve gas. However; the nerve gas is reflected and Drake gets MURDERED with it as he takes some MAN-SIZED bumps off-screen. Oh come on guys! This is getting silly now. Drake (looking smoked so to speak) reappears with the NORMA RAY OF DOOM so he can blast his head off and this is almost like The Idol Rich all over again; but without the charm of Baloo to go with it. Launchpad gets in front of him and he and Synapse have a mind bending match basically. And that doesn't work as Synapse bounces his thoughts away and Launchpad takes some MAN-SIZED bumps into the wall. See; they could have ended it with Synapse dead and have Launchpad gain his brain back; but of course CARTOON DUCKZ RULEZ and pointless bumping is more important for the cartoon duck fanboys I guess. However; Drake gets the MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN and then zaps Synapse with the NORMA RAY OF DEATH as he and Gosalyn ask questions over and over again. Okay; this finish makes sense; but there is almost little buildup to it and it still makes Launchpad look weak as a character.
The sequence is pretty lame for the most part (with repeated edit cuts which look weird) but it ends with Synapse blowing up in pretty realistic fashion and the abandoned factory gets completely destroyed. Well; at least it looked good for a change. The dust clears and Drake and Gosalyn manage to get out without any trouble call back for Launchpad. They look to the lower left side of the building and out pops Launchpad out of the carnage. I assume Synapse and the SUPER HIPPIES died in the rubble or in the case of the SUPER HIPPIES written out of the episode. And apparently; the destruction of a building got rid of Launchpad's powers. Launchpad is happy anyway and Drake offers to get Launchpad a new flight cap. LP blows it off because it's not on the way home. Drake slaps Launchpad's back because it now is as he helps Launchpad up. The fridge lands in front of the babyfaces and that's a fade out to end the episode at 21:14. Another very good episode marred by the writers attempt to finish another episode with overkill. *** ¾ ( 75%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Okay; this Cartoon Duck Syndrome Writing has got to stop. This is like the fifth episode where they had a really good episode and finish in Synapse's dying by getting zapped by the Norma ray and then they proceeded into silliness for another two minutes. Why not just have him zap himself and not let him explode from the start? Then the finish would have logical and then the second explosion would have made more sense. Again; the writers are getting really too pretty for their own good. And sometimes I think WD-OZ animators have been taking the Sun Woo bong water on a few spots; but it was mostly on. Drake Mallard was very good for a change and both Flygirl and Hotshot managed to do well in their roles. Plus; Sarah finally got one funny laugh out of me with the clipboard. I also liked Launchpad a lot more here than in Water Way To Go because he wasn't contrived in his role and he got some strong moments for quite a while until the pretty obvious finish.
As for Synapse; he was mixed in my view. On the one hand; he was a pretty strong character; but his grandstanding ego type character near the end of Act 2; beginning of Act 3 was not funny and he looked REALLY STUPID there. There were the usual logic breaks; but I really didn't care for calling them out. Another good episode as out of the five episode that I ranted on; none of them truly suck, although Planet of the Capes came close. I'm still not convinced that this is a good sign because I've gone through eight episodes; and it still feels like the show is trying too hard to please the cartoon duck fans and not enough of writing a logical story. The mistakes are much more glaring in this show than in other DTVA shows up to this point and it is making it really difficult for me to accept it overall. All I'm saying is that for now; it's fine, but when the really bad episode executions go through, it's going to be really bad. For now; I'll say...
Thumbs in the middle pointing up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.
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