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Twin Beaks

Reviewed: 01/17/2008

Now THIS is creepy!!

Man; we are only one episode away from ending Disc 2 and it still feels like it's been 21 episodes despite only doing about seven. Cartoon Duck Syndrome; there is no other way to explain it. However; this next episode should be excellent considering who is writing it and it features Bushroot. So let's rant on shall we....?

The episode is written by Tad Stones and Jan Strnad . The story editor is Tad Stones. The mothership has arrived!!...This one is animated by Sun Woo and I'm really getting steamed over the use of these hit or miss companies. Never mind what I said...

We begin at the prison with the PRISON STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM; followed by the inside of a cell as a guard is guarding the cell of Bushroot who Reggie proclaims that this is no place for plants. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Bushroot complains about his doopy leaves and his sudden breakout of leaf lice. HA HA! He goes to bar to complain to the guard as I see that Rupert is back from Double Darkwings. Bushroot cuts a really good promo about robbing banks for seed money and Rupert no sells and walks away. I guess Rupert has become the silent type here. Bushroot complains about going bad (HA! Thank Drake for that one Reggie.) and then the alarm beckons allowing Bushroot to go to the light near the window and it's the fatal flash scene changer as we head to the Thunder Quack doing some wacky stunts above the country side. Okay; did Launchpad drink the Kit Cloudkicker bong water before this one? And if so; why hasn't he done it in ANY OTHER episode he's in? Drake is complaining as Launchpad is reading a book (the blue one this time- good for him) while driving the Thunderquack with his feet. Oh great; has Baloo been talking to him too?

Drake blows off his Baloo skills as Luanchpad sells and holds the book in one hand while driving with the other. On second thought; both feet on the wheel is better. Launchpad talks about police forces using psychic powers to solve crimes and Drake grabs the book calling it tripe. The book is called: Incredibly Large and Weird Books For Your Coffee Table. That to me sounds like false advertising since if the book was large it wouldn't fit on a coffee table and if it was weird it would usually involve solving the mystery of why everyone got this generation of game consoles all wrong. Drake blows it off because it's not easy to solve a crime and then he reveals just how easy it is because that's how he locked Bushroot away in the first place. Drake is such a liar. Everyone knows that he froze Bushroot with a fire hydrant and then buried him in snow in the last time they met. Then again; he's acting full of himself when he talks about locking up Bushroot so there. Check the feet on the panel for the spot. Launchpad of course commits CONTINUITY ERROR #1 by stating that he tried to hide in the backseat of a police car. Boy; I'm glad THAT episode didn't air; or else that would REALLY bury Bushroot as a heel of any kind. Drake blows it off because it hurts his ego I guess. We then cut straight to Bushroot's cell (I guess the voice of the warden was on vacation as well as the character) as Drake brings out the gas gun and tells him that there shalt be no tricks or he'll suck weed killer (his words; not mine; first death reference of the episode). Bushroot looks like he rotted there for some strange reason.

Sadly; the dogperson warden (wearing mostly brown with black shoes) taps Drake on the shoulder to tell him that he's not moving and hasn't moved for two weeks. You waited TWO WEEKS to call DARKWING...DUCK?! You couldn't tell something was wrong by the color of his skin which looks like rot? PRISON ABUSE!! Drake then goes into EGO TRIP mode as he looks at the dead Bushroot (EWWW! Reggie looks dead and ugly there!) and blows off the fact that he doesn't have a pulse because he is a vegetable. HE USED TO BE A HUMAN BEING YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!! Drake then returns to pull on the warden's suit in order to cut his usual full of himself promo before declaring that Bushroot is dead (death reference #2 for the episode). Oh yeah; and don't forget the fake remorse there Drake. Well; if Bushroot is dead then Bushroot has gone to a better place; away from someone who buried and shunned him as a serious sad heel. Drake should feel ashamed for his action; but of course he's a shameless full of himself mallard so asking for remorse from Drake is pointless at this point.

Launchpad actually has more sympathy for the dead and decides to invoke some voodoo to check his aura. Okay; that was really funny and of course Drake Mallard blows it off because it's too close to having Launchpad become over in this show I guess. Thankfully; Launchpad blows him off (in a nice way of course) because he's trying to get inside Reggie's mind more or less. Drake blows that off because the fact is that Reggie Bushroot is dead (adding death references #3, 4, 5 and 6. Wow! Four death references in ten seconds! That's a new record for DTVA!) Launchpad of course does the funnier spot of tripping on a vine and falling down with a decent bump on his back. Apparently; the vine extends beyond the cell window which indicates that he is not dead and that Drake is REALLY STUPID to not notice it. Launchpad notices it and the warden is amazed by Launchpad's amazing powers as Bushroot really escaped. Drake blows it off in an attempt to not look REALLY STUPID and he looks REALLY STUPID in the process. The warden and Launchpad leave the cell talking about lost socks as Drake tries to leave; but eats prison cell door right in the kisser in a good bump. HAHA! I'm starting to dig this episode and we are not four minutes into it.

We head to Drake's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Read: after dark) as Drake (in regular clothes) is in the living room blowing off Gosalyn and Launchpad because they are sitting down on the couch wearing...wait for it... THE DELTA HATS OF PSYCHIC! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TOTAL MARKUP CITY FOR THAT SPOT! Anything to mock Drake (and Gosalyn for trying to be like Drake; but at least Gosalyn is taking it like a man!) is perfect by me because he deserves it after Dances With Bigfoot which got the second negative star episode in DTVA history. Gosalyn of course is using it to read her teacher's mind so she doesn't have to study for tests. Drake of course blows it off and decides to test Gosalyn out; so Gosalyn bails and runs up the stairs to start her homework. Wow; Drake didn't even try to give Gosalyn something and she already knew what he was thinking. Launchpad notices exactly what I was thinking. PSYCHIC POWERS RULEZ BABEE! Drake blows it off because Launchpad was lucky to find that vine. Sure Drake Mallard; it was all luck. Bushroot is a plant for crying out loud. Oh wait; he's trying to bury Bushroot again after being put over in It's A Wonderful Leaf; never mind.

Launchpad tells Drake to get the door and Drake blows him off because he's got Gosalyn believing in that stuff. Maybe if Drake was a lot less predictable maybe then your statement would be correct. Otherwise; you deserve it as punishment for the last episode Drake Full Of Yourself Mallard. The doorbell rings and Drake answers it to reveal Honker. Drake tries to greet Honker and then stammers like the goofy idiot that he is. About damn time Drake got some of his own medicine for bullying Honker. Honker grabs onto Drake and tells him that his family is acting really weird while doing a double take on Gosalyn and Launchpad. Too funny as Drake ungrips Honker and wipes his shirt because apparently he doesn't want to get Muddlefoot Syndrome! HA! I KILL ME! Drake of course blows it off by cutting an Addams Family promo while petting Honker's hand. Oh great; Honker is now the victim of the Gidget Pet Shop Joke. Gosalyn hates that spot and blows off Drake for doing it. I approve of this decision as Gosalyn consoles Honker and Honker states that the Muddlefoots all disappeared (except for him) and Drake of course likes that idea. Heartless fiend! We head inside the living room of the Muddlefoots as Drake (In Darkwing Duck clothes now) and company notice that there is dirt everywhere. Honker states that Binky (I know Disney Caption has it as Binkie; but mine is better) has been gardening inside the house (or so Drake says as he finishes).

Okay; that is too funny as Gosalyn hates the fact that her room is cleaner than the Muddlefoots. I don't think even they are going to break your record for the worst kept room Gos; so your record is safe. Drake tells everyone to scatter because he needs clues to feed on and Launchpad decides to check for aura allowing Drake to get one of the funniest poses I have ever seen. And then I realizes that Drake's full of himself promo is the funniest one I have ever heard in this series. And then Drake blows it off in such a funny way that it even puts Baloo to shame in that department. Launchpad does the old close eye mummy walk spot and then trips and takes a decent bump onto the floor. Launchpad laughs it off because there is a cabbage in the middle of the house! Too funny as Honker points out that it was sent from Aunt Turdi whom sadly NEVER appeared in this series. Apparently; Honker suffers from hives when near cabbages I guess. Drake touches the television set noticing that Herb hasn't gone long since the set is still warm. Gosalyn notices a VHS tape in the VCR and pushes the button which Sun Woo completely screws up since she pushes the stop button and the VCR still plays anyway. Well; we knew we couldn't go through one Sun Woo episode without them screwing a spot up as the television shows a greenhouse with a female mallard gardener talking about plant care. Drake calls it Gardening With Gerdie which would have been a thousand times funnier if it was Aunt Turdi's show instead.

Drake thinks this is too complex for Herb to be watching and Gosalyn notices the weird cabbages in the background. Drake orders them to stop the tape and apparently someone does despite not showing it at all. Logic Break #1 for the episode as Launchpad cuts a funny mildew promo before Drake sort of corrects him because he's trying to bury Bushroot and of course we see Bushroot hiding in the plants behind Gerdie. She doesn't suspect a thing...or does she?! Drake then jumps on the television set and cuts him usual full of himself promo which Gosalyn blows off because it's getting on her nerves. Drake then tries to prove it by proclaiming that Bushroot escapes from prison, kidnaps the Muddlefoots and forces them to grow mutant cabbages while bullying Honker as usual. You were going so well until you got to the kidnapping part and Gosalyn asks the obvious question: Why? Drake then stammers on that one and puts Honker down on his feet before invoking the magnifying lens because he needs more clues. I just love it when Drake's full of himself attitude is shot down with the most important one word question in the world: Why? Launchpad tells Honk-Man (HAHA!) not to worry because Launchpad is going to invoke the WOODEN STICK OF PSYCHIC DOOM to find his folks. HAHA! Drake of course blows it off while searching the VCR for clues (did he already check there?) as his magnifying glass suddenly changes to a regular LENS OF DOOM. Must be those pesky gremlins.

Launchpad then blindfolds himself (much to the disdain of Drake Mallard as he is probably making sure that Launchpad doesn't get more over than he.) and then gives the map to Honker as Launchpad holds the STICK OF PSYCHIC DOOM like a lawnmower and here we go with the funny. Drake takes out the video tape and blows Launchpad's tactics off since reason and logic will solve this problem. Memo to Drake: Logic and reasoning died in this show a long time ago. Just so you need to know as Launchpad and Honker bump into each other and trip over the cabbage again in another really funny spot. Drake ends with a flourish calling that deduction. I call that being full of yourself; but what do I know?! Thankfully; Drake is right in the path and Launchpad and Honker delivers a MAN-SIZED bump right on Drake's back in an awesome spot as the stick tears the map apart while Honker is attached to map on his feet. Gosalyn reads the tape cover and declares that this is from the city of Twin Beaks. And that leads to the symbolic moment where the stick creates a hole and the hole somehow creates the Twin Beaks. Which logically leads to: The City Of Twin Beaks (Minnesota reference for those who care) as we get the spread spot of the ultra small village. The animation is all right; but it looks a bit off in some places.

The bicycle spot with the cabbage is pretty cool as we head to Aunt Trudi's diner (I've been proven wrong again!) as we see Binky sitting down in the diner on those 1950's green seats as she is getting another cup of tea from Aunt Trudi who is basically Binky wearing red and white with a black patch on her right eye. Sun Woo mistake #2 beckons as the duck patron in the background reading the newspaper changes to a dogsperson badly drawn. Turdi walks to the window and we get the far shot of the Twin Beaks to set up whatever pathos that somehow doesn't work here. We head to the Cabbage Plantation as we see various furries (including a pig farmer on a tractor) caring to the cabbages. We then see Herb using the hoe (It's not what you think you sick freaks!) to tend to the soil. There are a few cows deep into the background (and badly drawn) which will probably be used as some plot device later on. And they do use it right away as they moo and they are shown in the near shot....

Post-Production Glitch #1: Half second black slug.

It is Twin Beaks AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Read: After dark) as we get the side shot complete with waterfall. I guess this is supposed to be something out of what Cape Suzette was to TaleSpin; but Cape Suzette was much larger and much more interesting than Twin Beaks outside of the mountain range. We go to a cliff path in the middle of the waterfall as we see two dogspeople throw the body of Bushroot (wrapped in plastic wrap I should note) into the river below. This Bushroot is dead; but greener for some odd reason as it washes down the rive just in time for the Thunder Quack to arrive. It flies around Twin Beaks which give Launchpad enough time to put on the blindfold again which causes everyone to panic of course. I am so loving Launchpad in this one because this is the Launchpad I remember: the risk taking goof. Before; he was just a wise crack goof which I didn't like. See; Launchpad doesn't want to be distracted by the bad auras.

Drake blows that off because he should WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE! Or trees in this case as they crash into the forest taking the wussiest bumps I have ever seen this side of Getting Antsy. Launchpad takes off the blindfold and opens up the Thunder Quack as Gosalyn is impressed by the smoothest landing Launchpad has ever had. Launchpad is losing his magic touch if THAT happens. Gosalyn and Honker holding onto Drake seems quite weird for some reason. Launchpad flips some switches as Drake praises his work while deciding to walk away which means that he is REALLY STUPID and about to free fall. I check the DVD...damn I'm good. Drake takes the much better bump WITH CHEESE AND BACON onto the ground of course. Drake will NEVER learn to actually watch his steps. We get the walk into the deep forest as Launchpad eats some pine trees to the face to continue to make him look good as a goof. They hear some mooing and crowing and Gosalyn proclaims that there is a farm nearby. Drake then blows off Launchpad with the Star Wars promo which is downright funny and I quote...

Darkwing: With Duck Skywalker here using the power of the farce...

Never mind the last part; it's the first part that is funny. Launchpad gets the pine branches away from his eyes and then looks like a zombie for some odd reason and walks into the opposite direction while Drake blows off Launchpad's hocus pocus. And then he realizes that Launchpad is gone and they do a lame look around before Gosalyn notices Launchpad walking towards the moon light. Drake and the kids follow towards the cow field (check the fence) as Drake blows off Launchpad again for wandering off and he is shocked to see Launchpad using the log to hear the cows. TOTAL MARKUP CITY FOR THAT SPOT! Gosalyn and Honker call that one over the top weird (my words; not theirs) as Launchpad comes over and gives accurate directions to Turdi's Diner where the City of Twin Beaks is. Drake of course mocks him because apparently the cows told him that. Launchpad blows it off because it's the LOG that gave him directions. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The babyfaces cannot top that one and they know it! It was the cow who warned them not to order the coffee. I guess cows hate coffee and logs love them. Drake is still shocked as he realizes that Launchpad is now more over than he is and NOTHING..AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING can stop it now. The question mark scene changer makes it even more funnier in hindsight as they head to Turdi's Diner.

Launchpad even remembers to bring the log with him to the diner how nice. Drake continues to mock wood and then he is SHOCKED to see that over half of the seats in the diner are taken by cabbages. Too funny as Drake is screwed like mad. Okay; it's really 80% of the seats as Drake's jaw drops even more by the second as we get a shot of the doors to the bathroom and there is one for plants! Too funny. The babyfaces minus Drake sit down in the only table not taken as Drake cuts a full of himself promo proving that even shock and awe cannot stop Drake Mallard from cutting such promos. He's positive Bushroot is behind this and quite frankly; I agree with him. Drake sits down besides Gosalyn and Gosalyn blows it off with the question of What?! Drake tries to explain it but he stammers like an idiot. Launchpad talks to the log and to proclaims that Reggie is innocent which Drake blows it off because it is a plant and that means the plants are bias against humans. Yeah; plant bigotry that will get you over as a badass Drake...NOT! Drake of course sulks because he's debating with a freakin log of course and that raises the ire of Aunt Trudi. Well sort of as Drake decides that shutting up is better than yelling at this point. Honker and Aunt Trudi exchange notes and sadly I have no idea who is voicing Trudi; but the law of aunts sezs that it is usually voiced by the same character as the main so I suspect it's Susan Tolsky. Aunt Trudi tells Honker that they are out back helping with the harvest and Honker jumps off the chair and exits the diner as Aunt Trudi criticizes the parents for leaving him. We go to the shot where Herb and Binky are looking at Honker coming out and Honker greets them. Herb and Binky greet them back and they look so EVIL and DRUNK to boot. Binky shows Honker the CABBAGE OF DOOM and out pops Honker's face. Now that is weird as the winds blow because that is what this episode needs: More windbags. We cut to the cows mooing over Twin Beaks Mountain and that ends the segment 11 minutes in.

After the commercial break; we head back to the diner as apparently the babyfaces minus Honker has gotten a front island seat as the locals (including the cabbages) are reading newspapers and getting restless by the presence of Drake Mallard and Launchpad's bad vibes. Drake mocks Launchpad for having a mother who is an Elvis impersonator from the Bermuda Triangle. I'm certain that is a CONTINUITY ERROR; but I haven't seen enough Ducktales to prove that yet. Drake calls this place downright bizarre. Unless you are a vegan and then this is PARADISE BABEE! Aunt Trudi blows off Drake's mockery as she arrives with more coffee. Trudi claims that the people are close to their plants as Drake pays off the coffee joke by drinking it and then spitting it out because it tastes like crap. See; set up the joke and pay it off. Cartoon Duck Syndrome writers don't realize that little thing though. Launchpad blows him off for not listening to the cows and the patrons inside the diner all scatter and leave like scalded dogs..or in the cabbages case; scalded cabbages. Okay; I get the joke here and it's pretty funny.

Aunt Trudi scatters as well as Drake then cuts a six degrees of separation promo just to try to bury Bushroot again. Oh man; did Jack The Anti Gamer One watch this episode and crib ideas for attacking Wendy's for supporting killing just because the Wii had Manhunt 2 and Manhunt 2 wasn't even promoted? The babyfaces doesn't get it of course which forces Drake to slump down and sulk. Again; it shows just how full of himself Drake Mallard really is and I'm right they are killing this guys ego after having about 40 episodes or so to do such a thing. Launchpad continues to state that the log sezs that Bushroot is innocent. Drake blows it off because he's really Michael Pachnter in disguise...Okay; maybe not. He calls the log a plant sympathizer which makes sense since he's a dead plant and Launchpad has basically kidnapped him. Gosalyn blows off Drake's logic and reasoning since she knows they died a long time due to the overwhelming force of Cartoon Duck Syndrome. She is drinking a strawberry milkshake which actually tastes better for some reason. Drake blows off the log because the cows got the coffee right. Drake proclaims that he'll never follow a log into the woods. Which logically leads to....the woods (complete with Twin Beak Mountain shot) as Drake, Launchpad and Gosalyn follow into the woods with the log. When will Drake ever learn never to say never in DTVA?!

Drake blows it off and is only going to prove how stupid it is. Speak for yourself Drake Mallard as the cows are mooing and therefore it's time for Drake to trip on Dead Bushroot in plastic wrap and take a good bump onto the ground. Man; am I good this time around or what...Aunt Trudi bit notwithstanding. Launchpad notices him and it's death reference #7 for the episode. Gosalyn blows off Drake's theory much to Drake's disgust as Gosalyn waves to them and bails stage right to find Honker. Drake tries to explain why Bushroot would just break out of prison and wrap himself with plastic wrap. Gosalyn gleefully answers that one for me as she leaves into the woods. Drake is just dumbfounded as he decides to ask the log a few questions while Gosalyn is walking away. However; hidden in the bushes is Herb Muddlefoot and he looks absolutely EVIL in that spot. Scene changer leads to Gosalyn walking in the woods and there is some rustling going on. Gosalyn looks timid as she turns her back just in time for Honker to arrive with the CABBAGE OF DOOM. UH OH! I don't like where this is going.

Honker tells Gosalyn that he is harvesting some cabbages; but we all know he is fake because he would break out in hives if that happened. Another Honker voice beckons for him to run as Binky and Herb wrap up the real Honker in plastic wrap. Gosalyn tries to run; but is grabbed by Pod Gos (literally stuffed in a cabbage no less. HEE HEE!). Gosalyn blows off Pod Gos (YAY!) and throws both pods right into Binky and Herb and take a MAN-SIZED bump into each other. Beautiful spot as real Honker is tied up right now. Gosalyn grabs Honker and it's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE~! Honker explains that they are alien plants who want to replace everyone on QUACKERIA with plants see. Funny bit from Gosalyn...

Gosalyn: Gee; that plot doesn't sound so cliché when it's happening to you....

Gosalyn's holding of Honker is pretty funny as is Pod Gos's jumping like a Cabbage Patch Kid. Sadly; the fun is going to end as Gosalyn is trapped due to the bottomless pit. Well; not really since it's really the river so to speak. And then the fatal flash of light catches our heroes and it's the scene changer back to Launchpad (holding the light) and Drake talking to the log as Launchpad questions Drake's hypocritical levels. It's because Drake is full of himself; hypocrisy is a virtue with these kinds of people. Drake decides to up the funny by wearing three DELTA HATS OF DOOM and blindfold himself to solve the mystery. Drake has flipped his lid so to speak and I'm loving it. Drake of course blows off LP's flying skills and forgets to WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE! Nice bump from DW though. The stars have bird chirps which means Sun Woo is on drugs for this episode which is nice because it makes their spot calling seem perfect. And now the weirdness REALLY STARTS as Drake is riding on a star IN SPACE!

Yeah; it breaks all logic and reasoning; but see it with me...It died a long time ago when the writers were inflicted with Cartoon Duck Syndrome. At least Jan Strnad and Tad Stones are talented enough to make it wacky enough to suspend my disbelief. Got it?! And even a bump on the head doesn't stop Drake from cutting a full of himself promo. The star flies towards Planet Drake (check the shape of the planet) and then the star turns on Drake (HAHA!) and Drake freefalls right into Planet Drake complete with sliding on sand so there wasn't going to be a bump anyway. The place rumbles and we cut to see Launchpad's giant head rise from the DEAD! I knew they would put in the Baloo Dream Sequence from the episode From Here To Machinery; it was just DYING to be recycled again. Launchpad proclaim that the cows are not what they seem. Drake proofs in front of a spotlight as two white cows dressed up as English Policemen (check the hats) with the bully clubs just MURDER Drake with them complete with bad laugh and fade to black. That's not weird; that's POLICE BURTALITY~!

Sadly; I hate Drake so he deserved it. Drake is not sitting on the ground in front of a grave site as we see a rotting Reggie Bushroot complete with ball & chain, wooden log, black backup and headache complaining about what they did to him. That logically leads to a dinner table where Drake is sitting and a cow waiter arrives with the silver platter and he opens the top to reveal the CABBAGE OF DOOM which spits out cabbages. This is the vegan version of Fantasia. MILLION CABBAGE ARMY SEQUENCE~ beckons of course as Drake runs in between them. Then Drake stops and hears Bushroot screaming that they will never take him alive. A log runs underneath Drake's legs in one of those moments that makes you wonder what kind of drugs the animators were taking. The cabbages stop and out pops Herbs and Binkys in perfect sequence as Drake yells in the horror of it all. See; two Muddlefoots are two too many for Drake to handle. The Cabbages Binkys and Herbs dance like a bunch of goof as we cut to the moonlight before any further damage can be done to Drake's ego.

Oh wait; Launchpad and the cow jump over the moon as Launchpad blows Drake off. That was too funny for some reason I cannot put my finger on. Now Drake is tied up and the Muddlefoot adults decide that Drake should be fed to the GAINT EATING CABBAGE OF DEATH~! HAHA! Too bad this is all a dream because if it wasn't then this would be paradise. I betcha Fenton Crackshell is writing this episode along with Tad and Jan. However; the ground crumbles and the KILLER CABBAGE is popped right out of the episode and out pops the MINOTAUR BULLCRAP OF DOOM and he offers a star to Drake...HUH?! Sadly; the dream is over and Drake wakes up. Oh fiddlesticks! That was just getting good. If you are going to steal from Len Uhley's TaleSpin material; then he's the best writer to steal from. Drake takes off the blindfold and blows off the whole dream (what a shock?!). And now Gosalyn appears OUT OF NOWHERE as Drake demands answers and Gosalyn tells him to ask her. Drake looks SHOCKED as we pan over west to see a white cow (?!!) wearing a astronaut helmet. The female cow greets Drake as the segment ends nearly seventeen minutes in. I was going to call Logic Break #2 for the episode with Gosalyn's appearance; but this episode is too weird; so I am not going to...

After the commercial break; as Drake is complete shock so Gosalyn and Honker throw water on Drake's full of himself pinhead to wake him up for real. Drake spits out water and admits that he is awake and not stunned on drugs. The white cow (voiced by Joan Gerber by the way) is with the two cows from earlier in the episode (who did nothing but moo) as Gosalyn explains the whole thing: Alien Plants are copying people to replace them so they can eat their flesh (or something like that) and the cow alien is here to recapture the plant aliens. Gosalyn tells Drake to deal with that of course earning a star with me. The alien cow comes from the planet Larson and I'm SHOCKED that the cow hasn't taken any steroids while being there. I guess that cow is roiding up the cabbages. It still doesn't explain Bushroot's presence though. The cow was talking to Launchpad because he has little brains and even Launchpad agrees with her. Simple minds do think alike don't they? The alien cow proclaims that the log was spying on the Alien Plants and the log bounces from Launchpad's hands and turns into...Reggie Bushroot. Now there is a Wii statement if I ever saw one. Launchpad gets off death reference #8 because Reggie is harder to kill than crabgrass.

I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Drake cannot believe that Bushroot is now a babyface and Bushroot blows him off because he's a QUACKERIA PLANT DUCK; NOT A LARSON AND GARY PLANT DUCK! And can you smell the irony of helping someone who had her planet named after the guy who got Bushroot fired? The mission of the earth creatures is to detain the plant aliens while the cows arrive with reinforcements. The cow disappears as Drake asks if they are already here and Gosalyn blows Drake off for be so old since it was a holographic transmission. Drake smacks his head because he knows that he is REALLY STUPID. Scene changer and we head back to the diner as Binky is ordering the COPY CABBAGE ARMY into the red bus. We pan over as Drake and the babyfaces look on as it seems to be hopeless for them. Gosalyn asks how they are going to stall and Drake doesn't want to stall for time as he thinks that they can scary them back once where they came from. Drake then cuts his dangerous promo which means the finish is almost at hand. We head inside the diner as a dogsperson and his cabbage sit down to a fish meal as Aunt Trudi is back putting the platters down on the table.

I see see has gotten over her cow phobia enough to serve meals again. And here comes Drake Mallard cutting an ad promo for his new invention: THE CABBAGE SLICER GUN~! Why is Launchpad holding a cabbage. Oh I see; Launchpad throws the cabbages against the blade and they are MURDERED into freedom slaw. Yeah; I went for that cheapshot; so shoot me. Nice spot there Sun Woo as it perfectly lands on the plates despite having zero fish or meals on them. Logic Break #2 for the episode for sure now as Drake asks for seconds as he turns on his new nifty gadget. Scene changer again leads to the red bus as Herb and Binky are panicking for some reason as Binkly proclaims that the CITY OF SAINT CANARD will soon be the produce center of the galaxy. And here comes Launchpad dressed up as a farmer which somehow makes him look like a bigger tool than usual. Must be the rake that he is carrying. Launchpad tells them to get the CABBAGES OF DOOM back into the barn because the cabbage beetles are coming to eat them. Herb blows it off because there is no such thing and here comes Gosalyn dressed up as a beetle flying from a rope.

Binky and Herb scatter like scalded dogs as Launchpad catches Gosalyn and Gosalyn cuts a neat promo. Launchpad gets to seal the bus while Gosalyn checks on Honker of course. Didn't that cause more trouble than it was worth? We head inside the kitchen as Honker is making the KILLER DRESSING OF DOOM and asks for Gosalyn to pour some vinegar. Gosalyn sells as Honker puts some of the KILLER DRESSING OF DOOM into the spray can; and here comes Herb and Binky with the CABBAGES OF DOOM as they realizes that their covers are blown. Nice to see someone remembers Nightmare of the Living Spud despite the fact that I would like to forget that one. Binky and Herb as evil cabbage producers is so funny as Gosalyn orders Honker to MURDER them and Honker is scared stiff because that is his mom and dad!

Now that is perfect pathos and well done for a change. Gosalyn yells at Honker because those are not his real parents as Herb and Binky are ready to go in for the kill. It's too bad that they are going to die because these two copies are even better than the originals. Honker finally gets it and MURDERS them with the KILLER DRESSING OF DOOM. And of course they scatter like scalded cabbages as Gosalyn asks if it was weed killer (death reference #9 for the episode) and Honker declares that it is salad dressing while blowing off the top like a gunslinger blowing the top of his pistol. Yeah; I called the spot about one minute before it happened; but it was still too funny.

Another scene changer leads outside to the streets as the CABBAGES OF DOOM pop out and the copies of the original people come out of it. Bushroot's turn to do some magic as he pops from the fence and then goes to his VEGAN ARMY OF DEATH (pumpkin, corn and tomato plants for those who wonder) and they declare war on the cabbages complete with fist pumping. Bushroot cuts a funny Julius Cesar promo and the corn plants use their ears of corn as pistols. They line up as Bushroot cuts a cute don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes promo and then it's FIRING SQUAD TIME~! The plants all fire their weapons (Tomato Grenade, Pumpkin Bomb, Corn Machine Gun etc.) and the cabbages get squashed in short order as Bushroot proclaims that they are not pansies. I smell a heel turn coming from Reggie right there. Sadly; the pansies pump their fists at Bushroot in a funny moment which Bushroot apologizes for the slur. Scene changer as the babyfaces plus plant duck declare victory over the Alien Cabbages...well; only Drake because he is so full of himself of course.

Drake is ready for the kill; but the CABBAGE SLICER GUN is taken from him as we see our babyfaces surrounded by the CABBAGES OF DOOM; who are now popping out Drake Mallards. Oh great! Just what this episode needs: More full of himself clones of Drake. Honker tries the KILLER DRESSING OF DEATH; but the same result happens from the west side. Bushroot tries the CORN MACHINE GUN ARMY; but that is thwarted with the Double DARKWING..DUCK gas gun as the corn army sucks weed killer (death reference #10). The corn army scatters like scalded corn and the babyfaces are surrounded by Darkwing Duck clones, Cabbages, Binky and Herb clones. I guess the clones aren't the same since the REAL Drake NEVER got along with the REAL Binky and Herb.

It's all over for our heroes as Binky clone wants them MURDERED into mulch. However; the white laser beam basically forces Binky back into a cabbage along with the rest of the CABBAGE COPY ARMY. Drake and the babyfaces turn around to see that the COW ARMY has arrived to save them. All the cabbages are turned back into cabbages and the world is right again as the COW ARMY arrives in a ring to protect them while Drake and Bushroot shake hands in a really iconic spot. I guess this was Stuck On You after all. Gosalyn's hug on Honker was rather disturbing I must say. We head to morning inside Aunt Trudi's Diner as the real Herb and Binky slowly stir and wake up as the Alien Cow Leader exchanges notes on their status and the situation. See; they eat the cabbages and that rubs Bushroot the wrong way.

Drake actually agrees with Bushroot on this one (thus turning heel) and the Alien Cow Leader blows him off because Drake eats meat. Now that's a perfect blowoff for anyone who is hypocritical on the issue of meat eating and vegan eating in general. Bushroot storms out from the back door as the cow alien proclaims that if one of the cabbages escaped it would be trouble...and of course Reggie is giddy because he has the only alien cabbage left on QUACKERIA officially turning heel once again. Now that was timely indeed. Bushroot runs away with the cabbage like the wind...a northerly wind this time as a cow appears to moo. That officially ends the episode at 21:08. Now this was a perfect episode basically because it was so weird that it made perfect logical sense from within the context of the entire episode. And that explained everything which made perfect sense without having it looked contrived and forced. Plus; it was pretty funny from start to finish. ***** ( 100%)


If you want to redeem yourselves after the Nightmare of the Living Spud abomination; then this episode did it in spades. It was so beautiful. For one; they used a cabbage as a plot device which is halfway good in one sense (coleslaw); but usually most children hate it. For two; Bushroot was really good in his limited role and nothing Drake did could bury him. For three; few logic breaks (mostly minor) and almost every spot from Sun Woo was on for a change. For four; most of the performances were pretty funny as I got most of the jokes and many of them were funny. I loved the Star Wars promo from Drake and Gosalyn's ironic cliché promo when she was running away from the Cabbage Copy Army. Aunt Trudi was pretty good for a one off joke and the whole plot line was so weird that I couldn't help but think that it made perfect sense. Plus; the entire plot line of making Bushroot look guilty actually made sense since even I was behind Drake at once point since he was the only guy who could be connected by plants. However; nothing less than a completely weird act II and act III (with a dream sequence that wasn't as good as the one From Here To Machinery; but it was still pretty good.) could make it make sense that Bushroot was innocent and both Tad and Jan delivered in spades and made it look good.

Jan Strnad wrote a perfect episode in TaleSpin (which wasn't a weird episode at all; but a sheer drama piece in Stormy Weather.) and he doesn't fail to pull one off here. Also unlike most of the episodes I have seen on this disc; there was no overkill and the flow was perfect. Plus; they gave enough time for a proper ending and they gave Bushroot a chance to turn heel again after doing a decent babyface run which wasn't going to last in the status quo world of Disney. This is a perfect example of what Darkwing Duck can be which was ruined by episodes like Dances With Bigfoot and Nightmare of the Living Spud because in the later; the writers were thinking Cartoon Duck; while the former was thinking Disney Duck. The differences are like night and day. Last up for disc 2 is The Incredible Bulk and I haven't seen this episode to say if I like it or not...but it stars Bushroot. And if they don't involve the mutant cabbage in this one; I'll strangle them for it. So....

Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.


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