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My Valentine Ghoul
I wonder why this episode got so much heat?!
Oh; and a happy belated Valentine's Day to you all. Hey; a missed the day by only three days. A new record.. Hello kiddies and welcome to Disc 3 of Darkwing Duck Volume 2. I am finally getting over the hump and have just nine episodes to go including this one. Yeah; this first one would be the one Disney put off the air because apparently; love was in the air and it was infecting children across the world. Yeah; that sounds pretty stinky if you ask me. I personally have not seen this episode so I'm ready to be surprised since a lot of the Darkwing Duck community like this one. So let's rant on shall we?!
The episode is written by Doug Langdale and the story editor is Kevin “Crosby” Hopps. . The mother ship has arrived at last to take me away from....!!...This one is animated by Sun Woo and I'm really getting steamed over the use of these hit or miss companies. Never mind what I said...
We begin this one with a near shot of a flame shooting vase (HUH?!) and then pan away to seeing DARKWING...DUCK and Morgana having a candlelight dinner at Morgana's favorite place. And of course it is near a graveyard which I swear will be my favorite resting place at this rate. We cut to the tombstone to the right as the skull hand raises from the grave with a platter of green white sunny side up eggs onto the table. Could be worse I guess as Drake gulps with fear on the egg faced squid. Drake is so fearful of that dish that he is talking in normal speak rather than his full of himself promo cutting that he usually does. The skull hand puts Morgana's plate on the table as she continues her romance with Drake while we pan out to the tombstones where Gosalyn, the bats and Archie are watching. The bats like this scene; Gosalyn and Archie think this is appalling. For once; I'm on Drake's side here. I mean; if Morgana can somehow prevent Drake from being so full of himself; then this is wonderful. Sadly; one of the SKULL DUCKS OF DOOM comes OUT OF NOWHERE and wants to kiss Gosalyn. Hmmm; I wonder why Disney didn't want ANYONE to see this episode after 1996?! Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink?!
Gosalyn blows it off by pushing it away and telling it to get a life. So that mallard was a gamer?! I doubt it since the duck would be carrying a gun; but BS&P rules the roost doesn't it?! We cut back to Morgana asking why Drake looks so...mad (Huh?) because he's barely touched his food. Well; it would be easy if Drake's fork would make CONTACT with the moving squid. Well; at least this proves that it is easier to shoot fish in a barrel than stabbing a squid on your plate. Funny stuff as Drake cannot keep his mind off diamonds. Morgana is interested because she wants to be engaged which is usually the code signaling marriage. Drake blows it off because it's really a crime ring he's after as he relates the story of diamonds disappearing in THE CITY OF SAINT CANARD. Morgana wants to help; but Drake of course blows it off because her MAGIC OF SATAN basically sucks. Morgana calls it a tiny accident. HEE HEE; yeah right?! As if Morgana. A note to the people who read these rant: When someone looks towards the camera and sezs that he/she didn't mean it; it means that he/she intentionally did it. Drake blows that off and now Morgana is pissed off as she stands up. Which means that she intentionally turned Drake into a vegetable. And of course Morgana invokes the MAGIC OF SATAN to turn Drake into the FAT CLOWN TAIL OF DOOM. Draketin dumb; HE..IS..THE...DUMBEST!! Never mind; just some parody I watched on YTV called Rintindumb which is basically the dumbest dog in existence doing stuff that I managed to laugh at. And he still has NOTHING on REALLY STUPID Drake Mallard.
Drake of course makes it worse and Morgana shoots the power of air to force Drake out of his chair. Okay; this is just too funny to watch. More shooting and more dodging from Morgana and Drake as they play vandalize the tombstones. Why is Morgana's magic shooting like a curled up tail?! Did Sun Woo decide that they were not going to suck today?! Gosalyn looks on and calls it not the best date they ever had. I disagree: This is the BEST DATE EVER!! We go outside the graveyard as Morgana continues to shoot more Satan Magic Beam as we pan over to NegaDuck using the binoculars to stake out his next diamond stealing affair. He was looking at a diamond ring in the box which a dogsperson sitting at a table outside of a fancy cafe. He's offering it to Myrtle who is a female dogsperson who looks too much like a male and I fear for Disney's safety here since Disney is supposed to be family values (codeword: Kill the homosexuals) .
The blue shoes make her female though so they are screwed and the family values public looks like a vile piece of crap of course. A stray SATAN BEAM OF DOOM zaps Myrtle into a monster and the male gets so scared that he runs like the wind. An easterly wind this time as he runs like a scalded dog. Now that is just plain irony there and he's running while holding the diamond ring in the box in the same position that he was holding it when he was offering her hand in marriage. Too funny and then a too funny moment (for all the wrong reasons of course) as Sun Woo does a REALLY STUPID scene changer and the ring ends up in NegaDuck's paw for no rhyme or reason. Don't tell me Sun Woo cannot animate a switch spot properly?! NegaDuck blows him off (but not the animators because he's evil see) and then notices the fireworks inside the graveyard. He decides to check it out which logically leads to the scene changer for real this time. We see NegaDuck do the Where's Waldo spots on the tombstones and a few plants. At least the spots make sense this time as NegaDuck notices how pissed off Morgana is. Morgana continues her zapping of Drake while Drake waddles and misses every time. Drake stops and then really pisses off Morgana by calling her immature and a second rate ex-crook. Morgana blows him off for indirectly admitting that he was having dinner with her so he could bury her...and he doesn't trust her. Join the club Morgana; Drake loves to bury ANYONE who manages to get over in the slightest. Drake tries to reason with her and then blow it by proclaiming that people never change. And thus Morgana gets the FIRE EYES~ and is even more pissed off. All she needs is white hot anger and we got all the bases covered in the fine art of being pissed off. Drake stammers like an idiot as he tries to defend himself; but it just makes me want to see Morgana burn Drake to ashes. Morgana then blast him good with the SPELLS OF SATAN and that absolutely MURDERS Drake and a poor innocent tree.
Drake coughs and staggers like an idiot while Morgana storms off. Best two minutes of entertainment I ever had; plus Morgana carried that one through believe it or not. As Morgana storms off we see NegaDuck behind a tombstone as he has got the perfect MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN in place for her. NegaDuck grabs the daisies which are placed in front of the tombstone (It's a graveyard so no logic break there.) and walks off as Drake continues to stagger a bit more and then takes a decent bump with his face on the ground; because it's Drake Mallard of course. Gosalyn and the three sidekicks pop up from the tombstone and states that it's time to patch up this romance. Eek and Squeak get to work on Morgana while Gosalyn deals with Darkwing Diplomat (her works, not mine). Sun Woo's animation of Gosalyn's face is almost anime like; with actual face movement. No wonder people consider anime ultra cheap. Scene changer beckons as we head to the house of THE ADDAMS BEETLEJUICE...BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, SNAP!! SNAP!! Okay; that's enough of the bad jokes as Morgana refuses to deal with Drake Mallard anymore despite Eek and Squeak's attempt to play diplomat. We pan down inside to see Morgana sitting on the red sofa sulking because she would rather give up her Hex-Of-The-Month Club than trust Drake Mallard again. YAY! Someone finally grows a brain and dumps that REALLY STUPID mallard.
Too bad it isn't going to last though; I just know it. The door knocks and the whole promise she cuts to herself lasts just three seconds as Eek and Squeak show her the MIRROR OF VAINITY and she acts like she wants to talk to Drake again. Too funny as Archie gets in his three seconds of work by being the powder duster to Morgana's face as she dusts her face with makeup. The makeup dust clears and Morgana dumps Archie like a had habit as a second knock is on the door and Morgana goes over to answer it. She then cuts a lame ho-hum promo before answering the door and it's NegaDuck. Morgana is SHOCKED to see him as the BATS OF DOOM screech and bails into her hair. Morgana demands answers and NegaDuck kneels down and kisses her hand because he has reformated (Disney Captions spells it as reformed of course not realizing that Jim Cummings intentionally said it wrong since NegaDuck doesn't know the meaning of the word good.). Morgana recoils her hand and blows it off of course and NegaDuck fake sobs and then closes the door cutting a promo about how people have not trusted him and then flops onto the sofa and just bawls his eyes out while throwing the temper spot. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is just too funny to be taken seriously.
Morgana stammers as NegaDuck looks at him with his cute eyes and then Morgana decides to trust him after all which prompts a pretty disturbing hug from Neggy. EWWWWWW! Neggy giggles like an evil doer before recoiling and crying again. This just makes fun of Kit's famous hug on Baloo in Plunder and Lightning Part Three; but I expect no less from Tad. And just when things couldn't get any better; the door opens and here comes Drake with the red rose. He is officially dumber with Rintindumb which just KILLS that dog's heat. Drake Mallard: Burying shows that were released 17 years later. That is just peachy. Drake is SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order) as the scene with Neggy and Morgana is just too funny to watch. Drake storms in throwing the roses away and demands answers. Morgan claims that he won't believe this because Neggy has given up his evil ways. Drake of course doesn't believe it for one second. Neggy claims that he has changed and even shows the candy box to show that he's created a new company called Negasweets. He makes candy see; which makes him sweeter than Drake ever was. Drake blows it off because they might be Chocolate-covered Grenades which is silly since they would NEVER fit in the box; and grabs Morgana's hand demanding answers as to why she would want to stay with Neggy?!
Drake throws her towards the door and Morgana blows him off and accuses him of being jealous. Drake then speaks some French to once again attempt to get any French speaking people in America to watch this show. It fails of course as Drake asks himself that he is jealous of NegaDuck. The answer of course is yes and then he kneels and begs for mercy after cutting a promo which puts over NegaDuck. Huh?! Now that is different. Maybe Morgana's spells have some use after all: In making Drake act like a character and not like a gimmick. Drake offers her the best date ever because tomorrow is Valentine's Day. NegaDuck counters like he his defeated as he cries on the love seat (how apporos for this episode?!) and states that he might go back to crime and degradation. Neggy's acting is just priceless and he's REALLY starting to grow on me.
He then snickers a bit on the rebound before sobbing his eyes out again making the whole experience even funnier because despite Morgana's growing of a brain; she is still pretty stupid. Morgana offers a compromise: Have all three ducks go out. Both male mallards blow that one off because Drake is a second rate crime fighter and NegaDuck is a second rate criminal (which is an improvement from being fifth rate so far.) . Morgana blows it off and threatens the PIXIE DUST OF SATAN if Drake refuses. Drake stammers and decides to agree with it lest he gets MURDERED again. I would personally piss her off and take my chances here since pissed off Morgana gives me a lot of entertainment. Morgana tells them to forgive and forget. I doubt either Mallard could do either one at this point as she klangs their heads together and they are empty as expected. Neggy then eggs Drake on to let bygones be bygones before doing the group hug. There is something romantic about this scene that I do not get so let's move on shall we....
We head to the carnival as we get the blow off of Morgana on all of the freaks standing in the tents which ends in Morgana sighing because it is just like her last family reunion. Drake and Neggy walk behind her and Neggy having fun while Drake isn't of course. I love it when Drake's ego has been deflated by someone who is actually threatening to him. Morgana offers the boys a choice of rides as Neggy wants to eliminate the competition so he goes over to the flamethrowing man and tickles his chests with the feather which invokes the CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS and then he blows the flamethrower right into Drake which burns him good. Drake must be flame resistant because he's still intact. The feather is black so Michael Eisner is still safely locked in the Phantom Zone along with Scott Hall and General Zod. Drake of course wishes NegaDuck was in the PZ right now as Neggy goes over and whistles behind Drake while half hugging him in a really funny spot. Drake coughs like a maniac to get the soot off his body and then calls Neggy out.
That's a no-no Drake as he goes over to the sword swallower (who has eaten four straight swords without killing himself) and grabs the sword and wants to fence as Morgana appears from behind looking ready to MURDER Drake on the spot. Morgana tells Drake to be ashamed of himself for attacking his new friend which Neggy steps in and eggs it on. Drake? Ashamed of himself?! Since when?! That's a losing proposition. Drake stammers like an idiot as the FRIENDS OF GOTH leave in two groups while Drake is walking alone wondering what went wrong. As they walk out of sight; Gosalyn pops from the glue sticking object freak and follow them. Nice un stick spot from Archie and the bats as the freak looks mighty confused. Heart scene changer (It's a special day; what did you expect?!) leads to the tunnel of love which is animated pretty well by Sun Woo. NegaDuck calls this the perfect ride to make Drake look bad.
Okay; I made up the look bad part as Drake blows him off since he wants to take Morgana into the tunnel of love. NegaDuck actually agrees with him and gently pushes them into the swan ride and it rides into the tunnel of love of course. Neggy does the halo spot which indicates that he is doing this so he can MURDER Drake. Drake thanks him kind of as they enter the tunnel of love and it looks like a creepy place with the giant lips on a mount. Drake believes that Neggy is finally starting to become good after all after a rough start as the swan ride rides the river complete with sexy jazz music. I thought jazz music was supposed to be a TaleSpin thing?! I guess not as Morgana proclaims that you really can trust people as we see the obvious cupid turn 45 degrees with the arrow pointed straight at them thanks to NegaDuck. Amazing enough; the Cupid is almost perfectly human and naked. Geez; I wonder why this episode was skipped, eh?! Neggy pulls the bow back with arrow as it is aiming for Drake' head while the swan ride is still going and that ends the segment nearly ten minutes in. Wow; that was pretty quick since it is usually around 12 minutes before we go to break nowadays.
After the commercial break; NegaDuck keeps pulling back on the bow as Morgana offers Drake a kiss on the swan ride. Never mind the obvious logic break of it taking too long and NegaDuck's arrow shot actually hitting nothing in real life; but that's fuzzy cartoon logic for ya. Drake decides to accept her offer lest she gets pissed off again. The backgrounds are animating themselves here for some odd reason instead of the boat. As I said before: If you think TaleSpin's animation is sub-par; remember that Rocket Robin Hood's style of animation MIGHT COME BACK AT ANYTIME! Thankfully; it only lasts two seconds and the boat is animating this time. Drake and Morgana attempt the KISS OF DEATH; but the arrow fires and Drake get clipped by the back of his gay Zorro cape. The kiss is REJECTED of course as Drake flies away and Morgana blows off the rejected kiss. The swan ride continues on it's merry way as we cut back to Drake being stuck in a conveniently placed plush valentine complete with arrow and naked cupids. At least they are cartoonish in style this time around. Drake demands that someone get him popped out of the love heart and of course no one comes. Geez; what a shock?!
We cut back to the entrance as the swan ride finally runs it's course and lands right next to the deck. Those rides must been magnetized. NegaDuck is of course waiting for her as Morgana asks for Drake. NegaDuck then lies to her stating that Drake went to foil some crime and would have asked for her help; but then again; a criminal is always a criminal. Morgan is so SHOCKED to hear that that her voice breaks in a funny spot. Time for some lemon juice there Kath. Neggy is so smug as Morgana is back in her pissed off mode and finds about eight different ways to call him a little bastard. Oh come on Morgana; don't be afraid to tell him how you REALLY FEEL now?! Morgana storms off with Neggy close behind. Gosalyn was overlooking them hiding behind the biggest trash basket that I have ever seen.
Now it's going to take the MIRACLE WORKER to save this one; but Kit isn't around so they are screwed. Or are they?! Eek and Squeak grab Gosalyn's T-Shirt and fly away towards their next destination as Gosalyn blows off their flying. Bat scene changer (Careful now; that's just asking for a lawsuit from Warner Brothers.) and we head to Morgana's ripoff house as the bats fly Gosalyn right into the magic room which is proof by checking out all the witchcraft stuff in the room including the great book on a mount which is leftover from the Gummi Bears show. And the spell book is empty of course just to annoy me as Gosalyn takes a wussy bump into the mount and drops onto the floor with the red spell book dropping on Gosalyn's belly. Bad animation mistake there Sunwoo because there was no red cover when we first saw it.
Gosalyn protest this outrage until she gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and notices that the bats have taken her to the spell book. Archie of course points it out so he gets another second of work. Archie gives new meaning to the term ultra lazy. Gosalyn grabs the spell book and puts it down. One question: How can she read the book without seeing any writing in it?! Typical cheap Sun Woo animation as usual. Gosalyn flips through the pages and then blows off the book because there are no words in this stupid book. Finally; someone in this cartoon realizes that Sun Woo is doing a crappy job in animating here. And worst; the color stylist changes the book from red to orange. As I said before: Color Styling is NOT A TOY! Only professionals should be using them which means Sun Woo should stop asking Kennedy for styling advice. Gosalyn kicks the book's ass right into the fireplace missing it by three feet and taking a wussy bump onto the floor which magically turns the cover red again. Oy vey Sun Woo as the book is ALIVE and ticked off because Gosalyn called it stupid. It's not polite as the red spell book has PEEPERS BABEE! Gosalyn loves it because it's a talking book.
So you can say that the writers for the Ultimate Book of Spells have stolen from this episode which is good in one sense since this episode rocks so far. He then glows pink sparkles since this is Sun Woo animating here as the book calls himself the Quackronomicon. I thought all references to ducks was supposed to be a Ducktales thing?! He likes being called Quacky and he's the forbidden tome of death so to speak. Quacky offers Gosalyn a choice of spells and Gosalyn wants him to make the LOVE POTION OF NUMBER NINE DOOM. UH OH! I don't like where this episode is going, but it's all good anyway. Quacky thinks Gosalyn has boy troubles and Gosalyn blows it off because it is for Drake. Quacky doesn't care and calls for the recipe which is three newts' eyes, a cup of pureed toad which gives Archie a case of the willies, and 12 slug's knuckles. Gosalyn loves this so much that she gets off Keen Gear number 1 for the episode. Archie walks out as the scene changer beckons and out comes Gosalyn with the pot wearing a blue apron. What exactly processed her to wear that I don't know?! Gosalyn blows off the monkey drool because it stinks of course. Geez; what did she expect?! To smell cinnamon?
She goes over to the coffee table as Eeek and Squeak steal Bushroot's red chemical sprayer complete with plastic sprayer on top which is badly drawn by Sunwoo I should note. Gosalyn calls this perfect as the bats screech again since they cannot speak actual words see. Gosalyn pours the stuff and Sun Woo messes up the animation since we didn't see the actual stuff overflow and pour down onto Archie. Only the dust effects on Archie are shown. Bad spot blowing from Sun Woo; what a surprise?! Archie hates this but then the amazing power of the LOVE POTION OF NUMBER NINE DOOM takes over and he's in love with Eek (or Squeak; it's impossible to tell without name tags.). So they do a lame blitz spot allowing Archie to just miss that kiss that is supposed to not miss and the two goofy animals run away doing a few lame spots that go nowhere as Archie pops and returns back to normal.
Eeek returns to Gosalyn as Quacky explains that the more love potion used; the longer it lasts. Sadly; Gosalyn and company bail as the door opens off-screen and in comes Morgana and NegaDuck. Morgana thanks him for not abandoning him like that full of himself mallard DARKWING...DUCK just did. Neggy offers her the life of crime and of course Morgana slams the door on his neck. OUCH! Neggy pops out of the door and takes a wussy bump on the floor. I see Morgana doesn't want crime I see. Neggy see this as a challenge and decides to break the door down and hugs Morgana right from behind.
Joey: We just fixed that door!
Too freaking funny and I think Sun Woo over did it on that spot. Neggy speaks sweet stuff in her ear; but Morgana uses the teleportation spell to escape. Ah; I see she has learned the lost magics?! I wonder if Lezard was her teacher?! Never mind as Morgana reappears away from Neggy and Morgana protests this outrage demanding answers. Neggy uses the SHORT ARM OF CRIME to pull Morgana back into the hugging position and more funny stuff occurs. Morgana blows him off because she is only interested in DARKWING..DUCK and even she isn't so sure of him anymore. And look who comes in but DARKWING.. DUCK as he storms in and demands answers of course.
There seems to be a lot of that going on in this episode. Morgana blows it off because there is nothing to explain since Drake abandoned her. Cannot argue with that logic as Drake tries to explain to her what REALLY happened as Gosalyn pops up from the chair and now has to spray Morgana into love. So she invokes the SPRAY OF LOVE and Morgana moves right out of the way just in time for Drake to get the LOVE SPRAY OF DEATH. Ooooo...this shall be good. Drake tries to blow off Neggy; but the POWER OF LOVE~ (after an oops from Gosalyn which means she did it on purpose) confines him to love Neggy. OOOOOOOOOOOO. And you fought that marriage spot from Feminine Air was going to cause trouble?! Remember that parent groups are responsible for giving Disney the image of family values and stuff like this is just nothing but trouble they don't really deserve; but business talks as they say.
Drake grabs him over his head and plants him in the loveseat and changes his clothes. This is getting really silly now and Morgana agrees with me on that. Drake blows me off (HOW DARE HE?!) and plucks on Neggy's cheeks. This is just too funny and somehow this make Drake an even bigger pussy than he already is. Neggy gets the homosexual hug from Drake as they are bros now. Neggy blows it off and Sun Woo screws it up by having Neggy's mouth not moving. Drake keeps the pressure on though much to my amusement of course More cheek pulling leads to Neggy telling him to jump off a cliff. Drake sells and goes out the window and races to the top of the weirdest cliff in the history of QUACKERIA! Love makes you REALLY STUPID; who knew?! Drake falls off the cliff and it's the pie splat sound effect just to make the whole spot look really weak. Even Gosalyn behind the second loveseat thinks that spot was a bummer so you know that it sucks badly.
Neggy admires his powers of speaking as Morgana tries to bail out; but Neggy grabs him and it's smooshy huggy time again. Sadly; Drake appears in the window and he's not dead at all. Yeah; fuzzy cartoon logic again rears it's ugly head. Morgana is HAPPY to see him alive; but the flowers he shows are for NegaDuck. Sadly; it's at that exact moment that the LOVE POTION OF NUMBER NINE DOOM wears off much to the relief of Gosalyn Mallard. And now Drake is mad as Neggy rubs Morgana's hand because Drake won't spoil the romance. Well; as I said before, NegaDuck isn't the opposite of Drake since he wouldn't be REALLY STUPID if it was true. Drake approches Neggy and grabs him while blowing him off. Drake takes Neggy off-screen and absolutely MURDERS him complete with impact stars since on-screen fighting is still a no-no in THE WORLD OF LOVE~! SMACK!!. I just had to say that as the dust cloud continues on screen (nice recycling animation from Sun Woo) as Morgana demands answers. The bats have had enough of Gosalyn's interference and go to Morgana to explain to her the situation. Morgana calls the idea idiotic and wants the person responsible for this mess and they point to Gosalyn. Gosalyn, being a child and all blames Archie for it of course.
If Kit were here; he would blame himself even if he didn't come up with the idea. The fight continues on and then Neggy grabs the cookie sheet and MURDERS Drake right in the head with it. And you thought WCW hardcore matches were lame?! Now that is a MAN-SIZED bump there; and it was on-screen to boot. Drake oversells it and then falls to the floor in a wussy bump of course because it is Sun Woo. Neggy praises Morgana for the cookie sheet and demands that long overdue kiss which pisses off Morgana of course and it's the SATAN ZAP OF ICY DOOM which Neggy ducks and Drake is frozen like an ice cube tomb. Neggy blows off Drake and Morgana's attempt at the cold shoulder which Morgana responds with fury and attempt #2 is deflected and Morgana is a frozen ice cube now. Now that is one tough cookie sheet as Neggy calls Morgana Annie Oakley. Don't ask me who she is; go e-mail Chris Barat about it. He probably knows the joke better than I ever could. Neggy gets the ice grabber and drags Morgana towards the hallway door as the segment ends nearly seventeen minutes in.
After the commercial break; we get the far shot of Morgana's house as Neggy drags Morgana out the door and continues to speak sweet somethings in her ear. Neggy drags her down the steps and out of sight as we see Gosalyn pop out telling the bats to distract NegaDuck while she defrosts Drake. They sell and we head back in as Gosalyn brings out the flamethrower and starts melting the ice. Is she and Kit having a contest to see who can handle the most dangerous of tools without hurting themselves?! Nice to see Gosalyn losing that battle by using safety gear; but that is BS&P for ya. We go to the far shot and see Drake screaming and rising into the air through the chimney and then go down again with a MAN-SIZED bump off-screen. I do not get that at all. Scene changer and we head to inside Negaduck's hideout (I think) as Neggy chisels Morgana out of the ice tomb. I would say leave her in there and take your chances with Drake; but NegaDuck is as REALLY STUPID as Drake is so I won't even bother. Mallet does more damage and it breaks the tomb open allowing Morgana to sell the shiver spot. Morgana attempts to MURDER Neggy; but the powerful force of Neggy throwing..THE SWITCH which opens up a trapdoor which throws down diamonds onto a conveyer belt.
Okay; that wasn't stupid as Morgana takes one and realizes that he is behind the diamond robberies. I thought the writers would forget that little detail. No wonder Doug got a full time job after this series. Morgana uses the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH which makes Neggy blush with excitement. Neggy calls getting a nuclear warhead expensive as Morgana accuses him of lying about a candy factory and giving up crime. And we are in a place where candy could be made. You cannot get anymore ironic than that Morgana which proves that she is just as stupid as Drake is. And to think; Drake is smarter than police in this series. Seeing the conveyer belt of diamonds being sprayed with chocolate further cements proof of the irony of all this. I love it when a writer like Doug writes his episode like a TaleSpin episode; and not like a episode infected with Cartoon Duck Syndrome.
Feel free to use this as an example of DARKWING..DUCK's greatness fanboys. It deserves it. Neggy takes out a DIAMOND CANDY OF DOOM and the diamond shows Morgana's reflection as NegaDuck demands that Morgana make the diamond as big as boulders. Okay; now Doug is losing it because making them as big as boulders would BLOW HIS SMUGGLING RING?! Why must criminal act REALLY STUPID in these important times?! Thankfully; Morgana sees the stupidity in this and no sells. Morgana walks off as Neggy does the once a criminal always a criminal line to piss off Morgana. Morgana then starts trying to zap Neggy into ice cubes; but Neggy keeps dodging the shots. Neggy runs over and pulls down the chocolate sprayer and it encases Morgana in about six inches of chocolate around her body; basing creating a chocolate tomb. Nice zombie walk form from Morgana to sell the shot. Neggy comes over and puts his finger into the mess. He licks the chocolate (EWWW!) and praises Morgana for having good taste. And judging by the time; Drake should be cutting his dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM anytime....now...at 18:40:
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the lollipop that sticks in your hair.
Geez; Sun Woo, that was too close to being a blown spot since Drake almost crushed Neggy there?! Time for Drake to iron out that entrance. Drake tries to finish the promo like the REALLY STUPID mallard that he is which allows Neggy to bail and zap Drake with the CHOCOLATE SPRAYER OF DEATH. HAHA! What a stupid duck Drake is?! Neggy laughs him off for that obvious gaffe. Neggy blows him off; but Gosalyn appears OUT OF NOWHERE (right on top of the chocolate making machine) complete with the hockey stick and she jumps down. I guess it's Canadian night tonight. Neggy bails and hide behind the giant wire. Sadly; Gosalyn's backpack straps snap right on cue and Gosalyn's plan drops like a bad habit as she takes a bad bump onto the floor. The SPRAYER OF DEATH pops out of the backpack and it sprays right onto Gosalyn's body. UH OH #2! I think we now know why Toon Disney keeps skipping this episode. Neggy pops up and make the biggest mistake of blowing her off because Gosalyn is overwhelmed by THE POWER OF LOVE~! EWWWWWWWW! Incest! Incest! QUICK! CALL CAPTIAL HILL! I NEED BIG BROTHER GOVERNMENT TO PROTECT US FROM THIS LOVE SICK CHILD! Let's see Disney: You made Cubbi strip himself and be completely naked; you allowed Kit to bit Don Karnage's ass off-screen; and now you have Gosalyn making sexual love with NegaDuck. Is there any wonder why the Southern Baptists HATE Michael Eisner's guts so much?!
Sadly; NegaDuck is in double trouble now since Drake has used the buzz saw cufflinks to cut through chocolate. I guess he was watching his waistline on that spot as he cuts through Morgana's tomb to free her. All in well in the world again...Not really since Gosalyn is a zombie to THE POWER OF LOVE~! Drake wiggles free from Morgana's grasp and tries to invoke the gas gun to make NegaDuck suck gas; but Gosalyn runs over and bites him on the leg. TOTAL MARKUP CITY FOR THAT SPOT as Drake blows her off for turning heel. No; Drake, she's not a heel. She's just overwhelmed by THE POWER OF LOVE~! Drake sells the move like a maniac and then she let's go allowing Eeek and Squeak to grab Drake by his gay Zorro Cape and do the whirlwind spot which is more fitting because this episode needs more windbags. It wouldn't be Drake Full of Himself Mallard without it. Drake gets dumped like a bad habit in a wussy bump off-screen as Gosalyn declares NegaDuck her best new buddy. I can just hear the PTC E-mails working overtime as we speak even if there is nothing they can really do about it since the episode is on DVD.
Gosalyn hugs Neggy in a disturbing spot as Drake pants thinking he has missed something. Of course you did Drake; it's the POWER OF LOVE~! Morgana explains that it's the love potion's fault; but Gosalyn pulls down the FROSTING SPRAYER OF DEATH and they both get FROSTED~! HA HA! This is great! Perverted yes; but great as Gosalyn goes over to tell NegaDuck that no harm shall come to NegaDuck. Unless it's the POWER OF LOVE~! Sadly; Gosalyn hugs Neggy and the LOVE POTION OF NUMBER NINE DOOM finally wears off. Gosalyn is now officially screwed up as Neggy is mad as hell and he isn't going to take it anymore. Gosalyn tries to bail; but gets nailed with the frosting which Sunwoo screws up and Gosalyn takes a face plant with the babyfaces . Neggy hopes they like it as he lights the match and puts it into the mouth of the cannon as it turns into the flame shooter. Well; frosting is high in sugar; so there you go. The babyfaces dodge the first shot; but the sticky frosting keeps forcing them back. More flamethrowing from Neggy as Eeek and Squeak grab the SPRAYER OF LOVE and give it to Morgana as she is dodging shots. Morgana uses the PIXIE DUST OF SATAN to grab the gas gun as Morgana asks Drake if she can borrow the gas gun.
Nice dodging during the sequence as she loads the canister into the gas gun. Drake no sells which allows Morgana to blow him off and fire the gas gun anyway. The LOVE POTION OF NUMBER NINE DOOM fires into the mouth of the flamethrower and it explodes right on cue spraying Neggy with THE POWER OF LOVE~! Neggy is overwhelmed and they do the group hug as Morgana calls him a honeywumpus. That would become a user name for the DTVA Archive on the web years following this which includes fanfics, fan art and even copyrighted stuff. Drake is outraged by Morgana sudden turn of love as we see Morgan offering him a jawbreaker and Neggy sells it like he's drunk of course. Morgana stuffs the jawbreaker in his mouth, calls for a broken jaw and then invokes the POWER OF THE PUNCH (on-screen of course since Negaduck is male) and Neggy goes flying right onto the conveyer belt filled with diamonds. I think you can guess what happens next. This case is all wrapped up as Drake blows this off as a bittersweet ending.
Well; it had to end sometime as we head back to the romance table as Drake and Morgana look each over in the eyes. We cut to behind the tombstone as the dramatic music plays as Gosalyn pops out and looks on saying that this engagement would work out. 2:1 odds that they will be fighting again before the episode ends in about thirty seconds or so. Morgana kisses Drake on the head and calls him a honey wumpus. Drake sells it like he is drunk, the bats like it and Archie hates it as usual. The skull hand brings the menu as Morgan offer to order food for Drake and Drake questions that idea. UH OH! He just pissed Morgan off AGAIN! She throws the menu down on the table and it is ON AGAIN BABEE! Drake runs like a scalded dog as she zaps him like no one's business. Drake sells it like a scared little puppy. Gosalyn states the moral of the story and it is so true in this case. And it's so entertaining as the Scooby Doo Chase Sequence ends the episode at 21:11. Very close to a perfect episode; but Sun Woo marred the experience with blown spots. However; no logic breaks and lots of pissed off Morgana make Gregory Weagle a happy ranter. **** ¾ ( 95%). And Disney really screwed up here as the entire credits list here is for Twitching Channels; not for Valentine Ghoul. How do I know?! R.J. Williams and Whitby Hertford's name are on the list. I'm not sure if it was Disney's fault; or Disney Home Video putting the credit sequence in the wrong place; but this is the worst part of sloppiness yet. Kind of an allegory for this series; isn't it?!
THE REVIEW LINE
Bad credit sequence aside; this was an excellent episode with nothing overkill; no logic break; good storytelling, and of course Morgana getting over as a pissed off witch. Drake can be such a jerk when his objectivity is really subjectivity under a different name. NegaDuck was really good in this one and the more I see him the more I believe that it was bad writing that swooned him and not his character as a whole. The love potion thing was so funny that it created situations that would be MURDERED by parents groups if this episode were created today. Toon Disney kept skipping this episode because of Gosalyn's love for NegaDuck that was pretty perverted to say the least. It could have been edited out without leaving much of a hole in the episode; but Disney was too lazy to cut the scene I guess. Not perverted; but out of place nevertheless was Drake's love for NegaDuck which looked like a homosexual relationship gone wrong. Both sequences were too funny to watch. The only thing dragging this episode down from perfection was Sun Woo's animation mistakes of course which is par for the course as usual. Overall; I love this episode and it rocks my world. Morgana is looking a lot better solo which makes her a better tweener than most. Next up is Quack of Ages and it's Quackerjack's next attempt to not get buried by Drake. I just hope Disney reads this and realizes that accurate credits make good relationships. Codeword: You might get sued for improper credit.
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.
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